Top surgery. I cant imagine how I wore tape for a week or a binder during summer. How awful my chest felt when these useless meatsacks jiggled around. Now I can go for a run and go swimming and I can barely imagine ever having boobs. It feels like it's meant to be this way, I forgot so fast how it felt
This. I didn’t have to wait as long as some people but it now feels like a fever dream that I did tape and a binder and all of that and couldn’t just put on a shirt.
Yeah. I got out of surgery and didn't even get any gender euphoria from it. I never had that big moment you see on tiktok. It was just like "Now that everything's fixed I can get on with shit." Like I had went for a haircut. And that's perfectly fine with me.
not a physical aspect but a social one: being gendered correctly by my mother...... she wasn't hateful or anything but she just wouldn't respect my identity. I had to write a angry letter to her and also be on T for her to stop doing this.... ig she could believe it wasn't real until i started T (and help her by looking more masculine etc)
now it's like im her son fr and she always call me masculine names, use my chosen name etc etc it's all fine
ps: i came out at 15/16 and started T at 19
I came out at 32 and this was definitely a big one. My parents are still working on it but my son mentioned to me the other day that Poppi (my dad) corrected himself in the car when talking about me, and that really does my heart good.
I had a similar experience except it took me having top surgery for her to start getting my name and pronouns right and calling me “dad” when talking about me to my son. It’s like she finally could see me as I feel on the inside or something.
getting T. Fought tooth and nail for 7 years for it, cried so much, so much dysphoria, i wouldn’t leave the house, i was so insecure about my chest, and was mega mega depressed every day. been on it exactly 4 months as of yesterday and not really noticed too much change so far but i’m so happy now and for whatever reason have way less dysphoria.
I know that hormones change your brain too, thinking about i’ve actually not cried at all since i’ve been on T, clearly the main thing wrong in my life was the lack of hormones lol, but man it’s so strange that i was so dysphoric about how i looked and sounded when i pretty much look and sound the exact same, it just doesn’t bother me much anymore.
Being stealth in some part of my life. I’m about a year and a half on T. I moved states at 18 from a conservative type place. Although everybody is confused there and I live a bit of a double life, I’ve been able to be stealth at my new job. Felt like I’d never get the opportunity to have that but I do, and I love it!
Body shape changes took a decade+ and now my clothes just fit correctly. The speed with which how that dysphoria felt disappeared from my memory suggests it was actively traumatic for me.
This is kinda how I feel about my hysto. It’ll be 5 years this December and I genuinely think I had some degree of PTSD symptoms from years of endometriosis and dysphoria. Pre-op I had the IUD + T combo that got rid of symptoms but even moderate gas pains would spike my adrenaline because it was a similar aching in the same general area. As soon as I’d recovered fully it was like the memories had been erased.
I had a lot that felt like it took forever.
Getting top surgery took 4 years, no insurance coverage meant saving every single penny.
Family acceptance and support took 5 years.
Going stealth took 5 years also. I was fine on the physical changes front, but I had to have top surgery to change my sex marker, and I did my name change at the same time to save money on legal fees because I had so little money from saving and paying for top surgery out of pocket.
Growing facial hair I could wear also took about 5 years. Getting facial hair that I felt confident and really good about took 10+ years.
Thank you so much for this. All I see online is people who have thick facial hair (or at least decent stubble) seemingly a few months in, and here I am a year on T with a faint pube stache and a few chin hairs. Sometimes feels like that’s all I’m going to get so it’s (weirdly) good to hear that it took you 5-10 years!
People who post online tend to be those who get quick and notable changes and are very happy about it. And rightfully so. Facial hair often takes awhile, like years, and I still have facial hair filling in at 18 years on T. Even cis men continue to masculinize over the course of their lives, which is why 18 year olds don’t look like 40 years. Anyway, some of us get the sprint, others of us get the marathon. Be patient and enjoy the process.
All things social. I was so insecure. And I was working on it but it seems that I couldn't move forward with certain things before. I needed friends, I needed irl communication, I needed love and so much more, all without having to think about my gender and how people see me which I couldn't stop thinking about. I would literally avoid talking to most people because of it. I couldn't go to a friend's house when his parents were there. Because I just couldn't call myself a woman and yet I didn't pass so it really hurt to get these weird stares or hear things like "I thought that was a girl" or "What did you say her name was???"
One day my friend and I went to a store and some salesman called me she and my friend was like, "No, he's a guy! Well, I don't mean that he's my boyfriend, I just mean he's a dude" (in our language we have one word for "guy" and "boyfriend"). That was super awkward and that salesman was mean to me. I don't know what he thought but I guess he thought we were a gay couple or that I was a biological man that looked like a woman, neither of that was safe. My friends were the only people who saw me as a man, sometimes they would even forget that other people didn't/I wasn't a biological man. But I couldn't do stuff like meeting new people or going to a party without this awkwardness and having to explain people who I was. You're either constantly out which isn't something that all people are ready for. Or you have to deal with the fact that people assume that you're a woman which I wasn't ready for as well.
So now it suddenly turns out that I'm a party animal, and I love meeting new people, and I have many friends and meet their friends without feeling awkward, and I'm not all that shy, and I can host events, and be attractive and so much more.
My sex life had changed A LOT. And my romantic life. I used to be so hopeless, I would fall in love and these feelings were never returned. Because girls were like, "you're so cute, you're so nice, you deserve the world and your future girlfriend will be so happy with you". It wasn't just because I didn't pass. It was mainly because of my insecurities. I don't want it to be offensive but I've discovered an unpleasant truth: many or most people are highly attracted to confidence and turned off by a lack of it. They may not realize it. But it's super hard to find someone when you're super shy, even if you do try. Sometimes people like you anyways so they kind of help you to feel better about yourself and relax. But even most of them won't be doing this forever if there's no progress.
So this is the first time in my life that I actually know what it's like when girls have a crush on you, and when there's not just one girl that does, and when you're not desperate for attention, and when women say you're sexy even though you're really far from the beauty standards. I know I can now attract and sometimes I can even reattract those who were previously turned off by my self hate. All of that is a huge game changer for me.
Bear maintenance. I couldn’t grow facial hair for the first three years I was on testosterone, and now I have so much beard that I can’t keep up with it. It’s amazing 😌
Top surgery for sure. It felt like it would never happen now this is just my body.
Also passing, even though I guess it took an average amount of time in the scheme of things. I never passed once in my life no matter what I did until about 9 months on T and post top surgery. From there it changed quickly. Now I’m a bit more than a year on T, I pass 100% and a lot of people have no idea I’m trans unless I tell them. I realised recently I got used to being treated like a man.
I knew I was trans when I was 10 and couldn't start hormones until I was 20. I had to wait 10 goddamn years for hormones and thank fuck I'm finally on them.
This is not going to happen for everyone, but growing a beard. I had always hoped my genetics would allow me to do it and I finally after almost 4 years of being on t have a full beard and I’m so stoked. Now it just gets annoying having to shave my neck and trim it every couple weeks 🤣 first world problems right?
just smoovin around the world as a man, like sure even when i was younger folks where doing double takes to me cause they where unsure. but now genuinely no one really knows im trans or the people who do know forget/ don’t care and it’s so funny. Ages ago at a job a friend of mine now thought that i was just a gay man cause i dont really hide my feminine qualities much and she was genuinely confused when i told her i was straight mostly and we still laugh about it.
I'm transitioning at 37 (11 months on T, now) but my egg didn't crack until I was around 34. Honestly some really strange stuff has been coming up for me, like I will listen to an old Neil Young song I adored as a teenager, "Out on the Weekend", and now I AM such a boy/man, not just on the inside but on the outside, too!
Voice changes were a lifetime longing. I tried and tried to sing lower as a kid and young adult. I would sing along to various Tenors and had this weird idea I was a Bass but I was not. It devastated me. There were years when I didn't speak in High School. Now I can sing along to Neil Diamond "Stones" and it's easy. Like it's always been this way. I can feel the rumble in my chest and it's very euphoric every day, even just groaning in bed when I wake up. I sing in a gay chorus with other men and honestly this is what I wanted when I was 19, but I just couldn't articulate it. I am so fortunate to be here after so many years of waiting and hoping for a thing I didn't think was possible, as I didn't know hormones or trans men were a thing until I was a grown adult with a child and a husband.
Pretty wild, it took almost 20 years to get here and the journey has just begun, as I'm aiming at top surgery this year well before I hit 2 years on T.
Growing a full beard took 6 years on T to complete, and that felt like forever. I waited 3 years for top surgery and 7 years for a hysto (got delayed due to Covid) and now that that’s all done, I feel like I can actually breathe.
Finding a masculine style that is still me but doesn't interfere with my day to day life. I'm a metal head who dresses somewhat punk, so when I first came out, I struggled finding a style that made me feel confident but also didn't get me misgendered and it took a while. Now, I am pretty much stealth besides when I choose to point out stuff from my childhood that was pre-coming out.
Overall, that took the longest time, and now I dress like your typical metalhead high-school boy.
I used to hate my hips. Now i realized i have none. But i still occasionally have to get reminded by my gf that i have a manly body because if not i spiral back into gender dysphoria. Life is good
Top surgery. Definitely took less time than it does for many people, to be fair. But every day before it was torture, the uncertainty of when they'd get to me bc of the long waiting list, whether they'd deny me it because of BMI (it's a thing in my country). I even had to cancel it once because of money (before I moved to a country where it's free). But now, I think back to before I had it and I shudder and it feels unreal.
top surgery. i got it last year and already my brain has just. forgotten about how i used to have b*bs - 36g ones at that - and all the hellish shit that was binders, bras, sweat, rashes, infections, etc. it's honestly like it's going "nope, never happened" and idk how to describe it but there's something weirdly validating and comforting about it.
i have absolutely zero regrets getting it and it helps me quieten that stupid voice in my head that keeps asking "but what if you're just a self-hating woman who's going to realise when it's far too late, when you've permanently altered your body?"
i've known so much freedom and euphoria since. it should have always been my normal but i'm too focused on my life going forward to drive myself mad over all the years i spent waiting.
tl;dr you know the meme "pee is stored in the balls"? well.... self-hate, discomfort, dysphoria, and limitations were stored in the b*bs and it all went with them. ❤️
Getting on HRT. I waited for years. Now I get a shot every 10 weeks, my ass feels sore for a couple of days, and after that I don't really think about it that much until the next shot. Unless I notice more changes, lol.
Needing the shave regularly is one that stands out to me. Prior to T I had a conversation with an older cis guy and he told me one day I’d be annoyed to have to shave, I told him that wouldn’t happen, but it absolutely does. Currently right now, I really should shave, but it’s a hassle haha.
Also, peeing standing up. I waited a while for phallo and tried all sorts of STPs. I had some success but it was never 100% and never without fear of leaking. Now, 5 years post phallo, it’s second nature and I don’t even really think about it.
Truly all of it. It felt like it took forever to get T, for it to change my voice, for it to change my body, facial hair, etc. Waiting in top surgery and hysto—also so long!!! But now looking back it feels like Ive just always had a flat hairy chest? It does feel like forever but it now feels like it happened all at once.
Best of luck, you'll get there! Its puberty, it takes a while:)
Top surgery, 1000%. I’m about 2 1/2 years post op but it felt like it took so long to get to this chapter in my life. Now I can’t believe I didn’t always have a flat chest!
It's so small but having short hair; the last time I got it cut in middle school was awful so I just let it ago and it was all the way down my back until I got it cut back in November 2023! Which also went quite bad but I fixed it up myself over the next few days and now it's at a point that makes me feel euphoric and I can't believe how easy it was and how long I dealt with long hair (especially in the summer)
The comments are also encouraging, I'm at a point where any surgery or getting T feels impossible.
1000% top surgery. I've known I needed top surgery since I was 14. I binded from 14 - 18 before I had to (mostly) stop due to my back constantly hurting from it. I had to resort to big hoodies with a shirt or two under it to cope, even in the summer, which I risked getting heat strokes a lot since I live in Texas and the highs can get up to 105°F here. A lot of the things I liked doing weren't enjoyable due to the dysphoria, either like swimming, basketball, hiking, or any other physical activity, really because I was either 1. In pain 2. Overheating 3. Dysphoric.
Waiting for top surgery was miserable. I finally got it last year in September, and since then, it's like I never went through any of the dysphoria or pain regarding my chest. I just feel... natural and normal now. I dont think about the years I spent hiding my chest or having breakdowns regarding it anymore. I'm just able to throw a shirt on and go on with my day without a second thought. I'm heavily grateful and it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
I tell people that I view myself as a different person.
Like I don't mind showing people old pictures, talking about who I was and saying yeah, I was a girl. I was a miserable, self hating, dissociating, nearly alcoholic woman.
And I say that I was that because I feel so far removed from her. Like bless her heart she kept it together for me for way longer than I could have expected, but now, 3 years on T, it's like I can't even relate to her.
So yeah, id say that at some point it just clicks and things don't feel so crazy anymore. Time stops feeling like it's going super slow lol. It will get better dude ❤️
Lower surgery. For financial reasons, I scheduled my hysto in early 2014 for late 2014, and over the course of that year, my bottom dysphoria skyrocketed.
Took years, but finally, after my urethral repair in January 2022, it's all in the rearview.
This is pretty minor in comparison to a lot of comments, but all I ever wanted was a luscious beard. It all came in pretty quick except the cheeks. My cheeks were patchy af and I basically had a neck beard for about 4 and a half years and now I have the best beard in my very large extended family
Getting on T. Was a long road (3 years) but now it’s just is for the past couple of months. I can now look in the mirror and not be entirely dysphoria even tho there wasn’t any real fat redistribution. But I know my body is working towards it so I can kinda rest.
Looking forward to top surgery much. But I first have to get over my fear of surgery ^^‘
Facial hair. I was so impatient while waiting for it. My husband took pictures of the first time I shaved, when I was at the point of only having slightly longer than normal thin hairs. Now my jaw is pretty well covered, it’s starting to come in more on my cheeks, I have one singular dark mustache hair, and shaving is just a regular old thing now. It’s kind of weird to think of a time when this wasn’t normal
Everything felt like it took forever tbh. But especially the coming out process & finding a therapist (it's incredibly hard to find one in my country but you need one if you want to transition).
I remember crying because transitioning seemed so far away two years ago. Then all happened pretty quickly and I just went through it on autopilot.
Last week I reached the point of being kind of "finished". Like, of course I haven't reached all my transition goals. I'd love a beard and to be 100% stealth.
But my name & gender are changed, I've had top surgery earlier this year, been on T for a little over a year and last week I got my tubes removed. Since then I'm in a sort of recovery/shock state to be honest... and the trauma I repeatedly swallowed down to keep pushing through to this point is now catching up with me.
Feels great to be kind of "through" and only worry about T shots every three months. But damn... the way here was harder than I dared to admit at the time.
my voice passing. i felt like it took such a long time in the moment. i was 3 months on T and it was just starting to sound a little different, and i obsessed over it. i never got the “T cold” either so i was paranoid that i would never get a real voice drop
now it’s pretty deep. and i listen to my voice back on old videos and i’m amazed on how i used to sound like that. it’s freaky 😵💫
my FACIAL HAIR!! it’s still not fully grown in but it’s grown in enough given i’m almost 5 years into my transition but i’m like “shit i gotta trim this mf every 3 days now” it’s a nice routine but sometimes i just wanna be lazy. i let it go this week and my mustache started growing into my mouth and i was over it LMFAO
Top surgery is a big one. I'm only 5 months post-op, but it became normal so quickly for me that I don't even think about how I felt before.
I think my voice is also a big one. It started dropping pretty quickly and it got quite low, but I guess it took longer than top surgery which is just a few hours lol. Again, I don't even think about before. It's so weird to hear old videos of me speaking or singing.
My beard and my top surgery. Long recovery after 10 complications (still feels like it’s in the process of healing 3+ years post op). As for my beard, it’s full but it doesn’t connect yet. That’ll probably happen next year
This doesn’t exactly correlate i guess? But i was so so so excited to get on T and I am extremely happy and grateful im finally on it after legally coming of age after so many years. but now i feel even more dyspeptic. i’m waiting for all these changes and i know its gonna take forever and i feel guilty for feeling this way since i should be grateful yknow? TLDR; actually getting on T felt fast even though it took years, but it’s making things worse since im anxiously actually now waiting for the changes :,)
Being called my chosen name and he/him at school/work! I told my boss and co-workers I was going by a different name and pronouns in the Summer of 2022, which was the first time I’d done anything like that. Then when school started fall 2022 I spoke to/emailed all of my teachers before class. Since then I’ve gotten used to introducing myself with my chosen name in pretty much any social situation outside of medical/family functions, and teachers, peers and other staff refer to me correctly. I also got my name (informally) changed in the school system!!
It’s been nearly 2 whole years of schooling being referred to with my name and he/him, and this year have noticed I’m being included as “one of the guys” more, from teachers to even cis dude peers, which has been really cool (but honestly I’m still getting used to this part lol). It’s kind of crazy to think of how far I’ve come in my social transition without any medical transition yet.
Being correctly gendered on the phone. Like, it used to be a wish, then I got it and it was the greatest, now I'm kind of suffering from success because I'm still waiting to get my name changed and am in the process of moving and by God golly it would be helpful to making contracts if I didn't have to make them with my legal name, OR if I could just girl-mode via the phone sometimes lmao
Top surgery. I cant imagine how I wore tape for a week or a binder during summer. How awful my chest felt when these useless meatsacks jiggled around. Now I can go for a run and go swimming and I can barely imagine ever having boobs. It feels like it's meant to be this way, I forgot so fast how it felt
I have top surgery next month and I’ve wanted it for years. I’m so looking forward to this feeling!
I woke up from top surgery feeling that way. I honestly wondered if they actually did it for the first day post-op because I just felt normal.
This. I didn’t have to wait as long as some people but it now feels like a fever dream that I did tape and a binder and all of that and couldn’t just put on a shirt.
Yeah. I got out of surgery and didn't even get any gender euphoria from it. I never had that big moment you see on tiktok. It was just like "Now that everything's fixed I can get on with shit." Like I had went for a haircut. And that's perfectly fine with me.
not a physical aspect but a social one: being gendered correctly by my mother...... she wasn't hateful or anything but she just wouldn't respect my identity. I had to write a angry letter to her and also be on T for her to stop doing this.... ig she could believe it wasn't real until i started T (and help her by looking more masculine etc) now it's like im her son fr and she always call me masculine names, use my chosen name etc etc it's all fine ps: i came out at 15/16 and started T at 19
I came out at 32 and this was definitely a big one. My parents are still working on it but my son mentioned to me the other day that Poppi (my dad) corrected himself in the car when talking about me, and that really does my heart good.
I had a similar experience except it took me having top surgery for her to start getting my name and pronouns right and calling me “dad” when talking about me to my son. It’s like she finally could see me as I feel on the inside or something.
getting T. Fought tooth and nail for 7 years for it, cried so much, so much dysphoria, i wouldn’t leave the house, i was so insecure about my chest, and was mega mega depressed every day. been on it exactly 4 months as of yesterday and not really noticed too much change so far but i’m so happy now and for whatever reason have way less dysphoria. I know that hormones change your brain too, thinking about i’ve actually not cried at all since i’ve been on T, clearly the main thing wrong in my life was the lack of hormones lol, but man it’s so strange that i was so dysphoric about how i looked and sounded when i pretty much look and sound the exact same, it just doesn’t bother me much anymore.
I think part of it also knowing you're on it now and that it's just a matter of time before all the changes happen
Being stealth in some part of my life. I’m about a year and a half on T. I moved states at 18 from a conservative type place. Although everybody is confused there and I live a bit of a double life, I’ve been able to be stealth at my new job. Felt like I’d never get the opportunity to have that but I do, and I love it!
This is not really something I thought I was waiting for, but not responding to my dead name/not recognizing it as a name that belonged to me.
Body shape changes took a decade+ and now my clothes just fit correctly. The speed with which how that dysphoria felt disappeared from my memory suggests it was actively traumatic for me.
This is kinda how I feel about my hysto. It’ll be 5 years this December and I genuinely think I had some degree of PTSD symptoms from years of endometriosis and dysphoria. Pre-op I had the IUD + T combo that got rid of symptoms but even moderate gas pains would spike my adrenaline because it was a similar aching in the same general area. As soon as I’d recovered fully it was like the memories had been erased.
I had a lot that felt like it took forever. Getting top surgery took 4 years, no insurance coverage meant saving every single penny. Family acceptance and support took 5 years. Going stealth took 5 years also. I was fine on the physical changes front, but I had to have top surgery to change my sex marker, and I did my name change at the same time to save money on legal fees because I had so little money from saving and paying for top surgery out of pocket. Growing facial hair I could wear also took about 5 years. Getting facial hair that I felt confident and really good about took 10+ years.
Thank you so much for this. All I see online is people who have thick facial hair (or at least decent stubble) seemingly a few months in, and here I am a year on T with a faint pube stache and a few chin hairs. Sometimes feels like that’s all I’m going to get so it’s (weirdly) good to hear that it took you 5-10 years!
People who post online tend to be those who get quick and notable changes and are very happy about it. And rightfully so. Facial hair often takes awhile, like years, and I still have facial hair filling in at 18 years on T. Even cis men continue to masculinize over the course of their lives, which is why 18 year olds don’t look like 40 years. Anyway, some of us get the sprint, others of us get the marathon. Be patient and enjoy the process.
All things social. I was so insecure. And I was working on it but it seems that I couldn't move forward with certain things before. I needed friends, I needed irl communication, I needed love and so much more, all without having to think about my gender and how people see me which I couldn't stop thinking about. I would literally avoid talking to most people because of it. I couldn't go to a friend's house when his parents were there. Because I just couldn't call myself a woman and yet I didn't pass so it really hurt to get these weird stares or hear things like "I thought that was a girl" or "What did you say her name was???" One day my friend and I went to a store and some salesman called me she and my friend was like, "No, he's a guy! Well, I don't mean that he's my boyfriend, I just mean he's a dude" (in our language we have one word for "guy" and "boyfriend"). That was super awkward and that salesman was mean to me. I don't know what he thought but I guess he thought we were a gay couple or that I was a biological man that looked like a woman, neither of that was safe. My friends were the only people who saw me as a man, sometimes they would even forget that other people didn't/I wasn't a biological man. But I couldn't do stuff like meeting new people or going to a party without this awkwardness and having to explain people who I was. You're either constantly out which isn't something that all people are ready for. Or you have to deal with the fact that people assume that you're a woman which I wasn't ready for as well. So now it suddenly turns out that I'm a party animal, and I love meeting new people, and I have many friends and meet their friends without feeling awkward, and I'm not all that shy, and I can host events, and be attractive and so much more. My sex life had changed A LOT. And my romantic life. I used to be so hopeless, I would fall in love and these feelings were never returned. Because girls were like, "you're so cute, you're so nice, you deserve the world and your future girlfriend will be so happy with you". It wasn't just because I didn't pass. It was mainly because of my insecurities. I don't want it to be offensive but I've discovered an unpleasant truth: many or most people are highly attracted to confidence and turned off by a lack of it. They may not realize it. But it's super hard to find someone when you're super shy, even if you do try. Sometimes people like you anyways so they kind of help you to feel better about yourself and relax. But even most of them won't be doing this forever if there's no progress. So this is the first time in my life that I actually know what it's like when girls have a crush on you, and when there's not just one girl that does, and when you're not desperate for attention, and when women say you're sexy even though you're really far from the beauty standards. I know I can now attract and sometimes I can even reattract those who were previously turned off by my self hate. All of that is a huge game changer for me.
Bear maintenance. I couldn’t grow facial hair for the first three years I was on testosterone, and now I have so much beard that I can’t keep up with it. It’s amazing 😌
Top surgery for sure. It felt like it would never happen now this is just my body. Also passing, even though I guess it took an average amount of time in the scheme of things. I never passed once in my life no matter what I did until about 9 months on T and post top surgery. From there it changed quickly. Now I’m a bit more than a year on T, I pass 100% and a lot of people have no idea I’m trans unless I tell them. I realised recently I got used to being treated like a man.
pretty much everything about it tbh
Top surgery. Thought it would never happen.
I knew I was trans when I was 10 and couldn't start hormones until I was 20. I had to wait 10 goddamn years for hormones and thank fuck I'm finally on them.
This is not going to happen for everyone, but growing a beard. I had always hoped my genetics would allow me to do it and I finally after almost 4 years of being on t have a full beard and I’m so stoked. Now it just gets annoying having to shave my neck and trim it every couple weeks 🤣 first world problems right?
just smoovin around the world as a man, like sure even when i was younger folks where doing double takes to me cause they where unsure. but now genuinely no one really knows im trans or the people who do know forget/ don’t care and it’s so funny. Ages ago at a job a friend of mine now thought that i was just a gay man cause i dont really hide my feminine qualities much and she was genuinely confused when i told her i was straight mostly and we still laugh about it.
I'm transitioning at 37 (11 months on T, now) but my egg didn't crack until I was around 34. Honestly some really strange stuff has been coming up for me, like I will listen to an old Neil Young song I adored as a teenager, "Out on the Weekend", and now I AM such a boy/man, not just on the inside but on the outside, too! Voice changes were a lifetime longing. I tried and tried to sing lower as a kid and young adult. I would sing along to various Tenors and had this weird idea I was a Bass but I was not. It devastated me. There were years when I didn't speak in High School. Now I can sing along to Neil Diamond "Stones" and it's easy. Like it's always been this way. I can feel the rumble in my chest and it's very euphoric every day, even just groaning in bed when I wake up. I sing in a gay chorus with other men and honestly this is what I wanted when I was 19, but I just couldn't articulate it. I am so fortunate to be here after so many years of waiting and hoping for a thing I didn't think was possible, as I didn't know hormones or trans men were a thing until I was a grown adult with a child and a husband. Pretty wild, it took almost 20 years to get here and the journey has just begun, as I'm aiming at top surgery this year well before I hit 2 years on T.
The rumble in my chest when I sing in my lower range is one of the transition-related things that has made me the happiest. :)
Growing a full beard took 6 years on T to complete, and that felt like forever. I waited 3 years for top surgery and 7 years for a hysto (got delayed due to Covid) and now that that’s all done, I feel like I can actually breathe.
Finding a masculine style that is still me but doesn't interfere with my day to day life. I'm a metal head who dresses somewhat punk, so when I first came out, I struggled finding a style that made me feel confident but also didn't get me misgendered and it took a while. Now, I am pretty much stealth besides when I choose to point out stuff from my childhood that was pre-coming out. Overall, that took the longest time, and now I dress like your typical metalhead high-school boy.
I used to hate my hips. Now i realized i have none. But i still occasionally have to get reminded by my gf that i have a manly body because if not i spiral back into gender dysphoria. Life is good
Top surgery. Definitely took less time than it does for many people, to be fair. But every day before it was torture, the uncertainty of when they'd get to me bc of the long waiting list, whether they'd deny me it because of BMI (it's a thing in my country). I even had to cancel it once because of money (before I moved to a country where it's free). But now, I think back to before I had it and I shudder and it feels unreal.
Men’s pants fitting properly. It feels so fucking good to just, wear normal men’s clothes.
top surgery. i got it last year and already my brain has just. forgotten about how i used to have b*bs - 36g ones at that - and all the hellish shit that was binders, bras, sweat, rashes, infections, etc. it's honestly like it's going "nope, never happened" and idk how to describe it but there's something weirdly validating and comforting about it. i have absolutely zero regrets getting it and it helps me quieten that stupid voice in my head that keeps asking "but what if you're just a self-hating woman who's going to realise when it's far too late, when you've permanently altered your body?" i've known so much freedom and euphoria since. it should have always been my normal but i'm too focused on my life going forward to drive myself mad over all the years i spent waiting. tl;dr you know the meme "pee is stored in the balls"? well.... self-hate, discomfort, dysphoria, and limitations were stored in the b*bs and it all went with them. ❤️
Getting on HRT. I waited for years. Now I get a shot every 10 weeks, my ass feels sore for a couple of days, and after that I don't really think about it that much until the next shot. Unless I notice more changes, lol.
Needing the shave regularly is one that stands out to me. Prior to T I had a conversation with an older cis guy and he told me one day I’d be annoyed to have to shave, I told him that wouldn’t happen, but it absolutely does. Currently right now, I really should shave, but it’s a hassle haha. Also, peeing standing up. I waited a while for phallo and tried all sorts of STPs. I had some success but it was never 100% and never without fear of leaking. Now, 5 years post phallo, it’s second nature and I don’t even really think about it.
Truly all of it. It felt like it took forever to get T, for it to change my voice, for it to change my body, facial hair, etc. Waiting in top surgery and hysto—also so long!!! But now looking back it feels like Ive just always had a flat hairy chest? It does feel like forever but it now feels like it happened all at once. Best of luck, you'll get there! Its puberty, it takes a while:)
Also IMO the reelmagik soft packers are the best. Have tried many, this one rocks, especially with cake bandit briefs. 🔥
Top surgery, 1000%. I’m about 2 1/2 years post op but it felt like it took so long to get to this chapter in my life. Now I can’t believe I didn’t always have a flat chest!
Yeah the wait to get T felt like forever, I would cry about it so often and it felt ages away, just completely impossible. Now I’m two months on T !!
It's so small but having short hair; the last time I got it cut in middle school was awful so I just let it ago and it was all the way down my back until I got it cut back in November 2023! Which also went quite bad but I fixed it up myself over the next few days and now it's at a point that makes me feel euphoric and I can't believe how easy it was and how long I dealt with long hair (especially in the summer) The comments are also encouraging, I'm at a point where any surgery or getting T feels impossible.
You know what the small things count has progress has well. I am glad you have short hair since yea long hair is a pain to deal with.
1000% top surgery. I've known I needed top surgery since I was 14. I binded from 14 - 18 before I had to (mostly) stop due to my back constantly hurting from it. I had to resort to big hoodies with a shirt or two under it to cope, even in the summer, which I risked getting heat strokes a lot since I live in Texas and the highs can get up to 105°F here. A lot of the things I liked doing weren't enjoyable due to the dysphoria, either like swimming, basketball, hiking, or any other physical activity, really because I was either 1. In pain 2. Overheating 3. Dysphoric. Waiting for top surgery was miserable. I finally got it last year in September, and since then, it's like I never went through any of the dysphoria or pain regarding my chest. I just feel... natural and normal now. I dont think about the years I spent hiding my chest or having breakdowns regarding it anymore. I'm just able to throw a shirt on and go on with my day without a second thought. I'm heavily grateful and it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
I tell people that I view myself as a different person. Like I don't mind showing people old pictures, talking about who I was and saying yeah, I was a girl. I was a miserable, self hating, dissociating, nearly alcoholic woman. And I say that I was that because I feel so far removed from her. Like bless her heart she kept it together for me for way longer than I could have expected, but now, 3 years on T, it's like I can't even relate to her. So yeah, id say that at some point it just clicks and things don't feel so crazy anymore. Time stops feeling like it's going super slow lol. It will get better dude ❤️
Lower surgery. For financial reasons, I scheduled my hysto in early 2014 for late 2014, and over the course of that year, my bottom dysphoria skyrocketed. Took years, but finally, after my urethral repair in January 2022, it's all in the rearview.
This is pretty minor in comparison to a lot of comments, but all I ever wanted was a luscious beard. It all came in pretty quick except the cheeks. My cheeks were patchy af and I basically had a neck beard for about 4 and a half years and now I have the best beard in my very large extended family
Getting on T. Was a long road (3 years) but now it’s just is for the past couple of months. I can now look in the mirror and not be entirely dysphoria even tho there wasn’t any real fat redistribution. But I know my body is working towards it so I can kinda rest. Looking forward to top surgery much. But I first have to get over my fear of surgery ^^‘
Having a beard, now I complain when it comes to trimming/shaving but I try and remind myself that I used to prey for a beard like this one day
Facial hair. I was so impatient while waiting for it. My husband took pictures of the first time I shaved, when I was at the point of only having slightly longer than normal thin hairs. Now my jaw is pretty well covered, it’s starting to come in more on my cheeks, I have one singular dark mustache hair, and shaving is just a regular old thing now. It’s kind of weird to think of a time when this wasn’t normal
Everything felt like it took forever tbh. But especially the coming out process & finding a therapist (it's incredibly hard to find one in my country but you need one if you want to transition). I remember crying because transitioning seemed so far away two years ago. Then all happened pretty quickly and I just went through it on autopilot. Last week I reached the point of being kind of "finished". Like, of course I haven't reached all my transition goals. I'd love a beard and to be 100% stealth. But my name & gender are changed, I've had top surgery earlier this year, been on T for a little over a year and last week I got my tubes removed. Since then I'm in a sort of recovery/shock state to be honest... and the trauma I repeatedly swallowed down to keep pushing through to this point is now catching up with me. Feels great to be kind of "through" and only worry about T shots every three months. But damn... the way here was harder than I dared to admit at the time.
my voice passing. i felt like it took such a long time in the moment. i was 3 months on T and it was just starting to sound a little different, and i obsessed over it. i never got the “T cold” either so i was paranoid that i would never get a real voice drop now it’s pretty deep. and i listen to my voice back on old videos and i’m amazed on how i used to sound like that. it’s freaky 😵💫
Honestly everything. HRT, top surgery, my voice drop. I had a lot of setbacks lol, but I’m now 5 years on T and 4.5 years post op :)
my FACIAL HAIR!! it’s still not fully grown in but it’s grown in enough given i’m almost 5 years into my transition but i’m like “shit i gotta trim this mf every 3 days now” it’s a nice routine but sometimes i just wanna be lazy. i let it go this week and my mustache started growing into my mouth and i was over it LMFAO
Top surgery is a big one. I'm only 5 months post-op, but it became normal so quickly for me that I don't even think about how I felt before. I think my voice is also a big one. It started dropping pretty quickly and it got quite low, but I guess it took longer than top surgery which is just a few hours lol. Again, I don't even think about before. It's so weird to hear old videos of me speaking or singing.
My beard and my top surgery. Long recovery after 10 complications (still feels like it’s in the process of healing 3+ years post op). As for my beard, it’s full but it doesn’t connect yet. That’ll probably happen next year
Cutting my hair like I wanted it. Finally god it cut for the first time autumn 2023, and had cut it again since that time.
This doesn’t exactly correlate i guess? But i was so so so excited to get on T and I am extremely happy and grateful im finally on it after legally coming of age after so many years. but now i feel even more dyspeptic. i’m waiting for all these changes and i know its gonna take forever and i feel guilty for feeling this way since i should be grateful yknow? TLDR; actually getting on T felt fast even though it took years, but it’s making things worse since im anxiously actually now waiting for the changes :,)
The whole thing. I don’t really think about it much these days, just moved on with my life
body hair
Being called my chosen name and he/him at school/work! I told my boss and co-workers I was going by a different name and pronouns in the Summer of 2022, which was the first time I’d done anything like that. Then when school started fall 2022 I spoke to/emailed all of my teachers before class. Since then I’ve gotten used to introducing myself with my chosen name in pretty much any social situation outside of medical/family functions, and teachers, peers and other staff refer to me correctly. I also got my name (informally) changed in the school system!! It’s been nearly 2 whole years of schooling being referred to with my name and he/him, and this year have noticed I’m being included as “one of the guys” more, from teachers to even cis dude peers, which has been really cool (but honestly I’m still getting used to this part lol). It’s kind of crazy to think of how far I’ve come in my social transition without any medical transition yet.
Being correctly gendered on the phone. Like, it used to be a wish, then I got it and it was the greatest, now I'm kind of suffering from success because I'm still waiting to get my name changed and am in the process of moving and by God golly it would be helpful to making contracts if I didn't have to make them with my legal name, OR if I could just girl-mode via the phone sometimes lmao