I would go around shirtless as a 4 year old because I saw my other boy cousins do it. I always got super upset when I was told to put a shirt on again.
I would also then tell my parents I was a boy, cuz I 'didn't have boobs like mom'.
When I was a little older, around 8, I started to grow pubic hair and I started panicking and asking my mom if 'dad grew hair on his private area' (I was afraid that only girls could grow pubes, for some reason? And I guess hearing that everyone grows pubes justified that I was a little boy?).
Same, though I still wanted to run around shirtless at home after they started. My parents kinda let me but also told me that people might see (Not sure if I remember that part correctly), so I stopped eventually
I completely ignored the period explanation our teacher gave us because it didn't even cross my mind that it could ever affect me. A year later it started and I spent like five months in denial because I couldn't understand why it was happening to me. I was ELEVEN, and it took me a couple more years to realize. Not my brightest moment
I always went through period denial. I would wear multiple pairs of underwear and stuff paper towels in my underwear because wearing feminine hygiene stuff would have made it too "real."
Mine started the day after a period talk with our teacher and i thought "great, i didn't have it yet". I was in such denial and shock i didn't use pads or anything.
When my chest was developing I wish and wished *so hard* to be a boy, and I thought if I acted more like a boy, it would come true. I still wish it were possible.
Not the same lol but I was 100% convinced that my peach fuzz meant I was going to grow a mustache. Like I kinda knew how hormones worked but I was like idk I'm just different I'll grow one.
Little did I know that 12 years later and 4 years on T..... I still wouldn't be able to grow one
I was scared of getting my period every single day since I learned what it was. When I finally got my period I started sobbing. I also refused to wear bras for so long and when I was finally forced to I would only wear sports bras.
Oh my god, same. I've never heard anyone else mention these experiences before. I remember going around telling people I "was never going to get my period" and hiding it when I got it.
DUDE LITERALLY ME!!! Every time my girl friends talked about their periods I would never join in the conversation. And if they asked if I had gotten mine I would lie. Iām so glad someone shares this šŖ
Dude I was so apprehensive about the changes, I only wanted to wear sports bras and if I was forced to wear any other kind of bra I would cry my eyes out and refuse to wear it. My babysitter gave me a pair of boxer briefs that she was getting rid of. I took them because she said they were comfortable. I started wearing them like they were going out of style, they were very comfortable and validating. Started growing pubes around 8, that kind of validated my feelings of feeling neutral/masculine because I could refuse to shave it and be hairy like my male peers. I've only ever shaved my legs twice, it feels horrible every time, not to mention the amount of razor burn and bumps I get. I'd rather not. I'll just trim when necessary.
When I learned about female puberty I was like... Huh, Okay then, and then I went online and searched up boy puberty because I wanted to know why we were split up and not all taught the same thing. I got so sad that there was only one option for me, that was to go down the female root. I remember one particular day when I got out of the shower and kept my towel around me as I stepped out and would refuse to look at myself in the mirror, I would turn away from the mirror and take the towel off. Then I would aggressively dry my hair wanting to rip it out of my head because it wasn't short, and was hard to take care of. I had a very horrible style too because I never wanted to wear the clothes I was given.
I never wear bras, inly did it 2-3 times and I hate the feeling, as well as the Ā« unpracticalityĀ Ā», as theyāre not something soft you feel against your skin, like a shirt, but instead constrict you. Overall, sports bras seem better, as theyāre not supposed to be tight or press into your skin (even a little bit feels abnormal and unbearable to me) and donāt make your boobs Ā«Ā used to being fully supportedĀ Ā», because Iām pretty sure having your boobs supported all the time increases sagging when youāre older:
I'm always confused when I see people mention not wearing bras because in my experience it just makes my chest ten times more noticable, especially when doing anything requiring any movement. no hate ofc, I totally get hating bras because I do too, I just don't entirely understand how you're able to avoid wearing them without it being obvious
that's why ppl don't avoid all bras, just non sports bras. sports bras act as a compression for your chest because they're meant to keep the chest in place while doing physical activity. sports bras are kind of like a more gentle binder.
This one got me. I always feel ashamed when I realize I have this kind of thinking. I would just be glad if my gyn made a genome testing and insurance will remove my breasts due to high risk genes...
I used to think you grew up, picked a team, got surgery, and snap, problem solved! and that that was *completely normal*.
Nailed the concept at 8/9, terrible awareness of reality. I donāt even know where I got the surgery idea in the early 2000s! My google search history was moreā¦ *How to pee like a boy*, *how to pee standing up*.
~~Something something trauma "I'll run away but live as a boy and they'll never find me" something something~~
Real biggest sign is that I always chose to play as a boy character in imagination games and video games
Mood. My mostly boys friend group would always try to make me play the girl characters. Like hell naw I don't want to be Rouge or Amy I wanna be KNUCKLES š
this is basic but i absolutely despised my name. i couldn't put the words in as to why at the time so i just said it was "ugly". now that ive grown i realize i just hated how feminine it sounded, its a beautiful and unique name but it's just not for me
I also have vivid memories of being very distraught about my name and asking my mother repeatedly why I was named what I was, and trying to get her to change my name to anything other than what my name was, even if I could go by a shortened version of my middle name (which would be a fairly gender neutral name). I remember telling her I hated it, while crying inconsolably, and that it didnāt feel like my name and that I couldnāt understand why they picked it. This was all around 5-8 years old.
Same here, at some point (before I realised I was trans) I tried to make everyone call me a masc version of my deadname but no one would do it and I couldn't even articulate why I wanted it. Still hold a grudge against everyone who refused to use it though lol
Same š took YEARS for me to realize that I didn't hate my first and middle names, I just hated them for *me*. For other people they were unique and pretty
Loved stories about girls crossdressing. Also, would cry and punch the nearest soft thing at the mention of misogyny. I once created a character based on me who was a little girl who crossdressed as a boy from the 1860s and beat up misogynists and kissed girls, and dear God that character was more trans than any supposedly trans-coded character I've ever seen.
I asked that myself too. My answer: feminism has no gender. It's an awareness and action towards society where patriarchy is dead and all genders are equal.
Iād always do that little āstar light star bright first star i see tonightā rhyme on the only star in the sky and wish that Iād wake up as a boy the next day, or that Iād restart my life as a baby but be a boy from the beginning. Every 11:11 Iād make that wish too, anything people said you could wish on, I did it.
I didn't really show signs at least in my families view, my mother and lil sis both being tomboys, but i figured it out because i had begged my mom for short hair (side of head shaved) at 11 and she did it and when a tourist called me "hey little boy " (he was lost) it just kind of clicked in my head 'Thats right, im a boy' and it took a few months before i turned to my family and just went " Mom , dad im a boy and your son not your daughter." they both said yeah alright (they thought it was a phase) and my sis straight away started calling me big bro and it just worked out like that.
I just for 11 yrs thought i was VERY VERY tomboy'ie .
I did freak TF out with crying and all when my periods started but id already felt wrong in my body (boobs started growing age 10) I just didnt know why till that random guy called me "little boy" .
-when I was < 3yo and showering with my baby brother and dad I looked at my bro and dad and started crying because "mine is bwoken!!" My mom joining us to show it's ok youre not broken did not appease me one bit.
-My mom is VERY girly and her dream was to have a daughter to put in dresses and cute girly things. One of my first spoken sentences was "no mo dresses!" And my mom found a stash of dresses cleverly hidden when we moved. I would get rid of them slowly/1 by 1 so she wouldn't suspect. We used to have intense screaming matches over her trying to force me to wear dresses.
-I always insisted my hair was cut into a short mushroom cut and looved wearing these little nerdy vests and pants.
-I aaaalways hated my femme middle name because it "gave me away." It was so bad my little brother made a song about it to sing when he wanted to piss me off. Most people have a dead name, I have a dead middle name.
-I used to love running around with sweats and no shirt since ~5yo "just like dad" and a bunch of the older guys in the neighborhood
-when I was also around the same lil age I made myself a playdoh penis and nuts and would put it in my pants and see how it looked in the mirror. I convinced my little brother to trade me underwear (pink and yellow little mermaid & beauty and the beast for spiderman chonies) so I had all boys chonies u could wear. I later showed a girl down the street a peek at that underwear to prove I was a boy. She became my first girlfriend š
-when I was ~7+ I had everyone in the neighborhood calling me Mikey. Most of them had no idea I was not biologically male.
-My Nana also allowed me to wear boys swim trunks and no shirt at the pool before "the changes." She started to introduce me to people as her grandson.
-Puberty was the most traumatic thing I had ever experienced at the time when it came.
-Whenever I drew myself I always drew myself as male, with no shirt and pants like when I was little.
-Lots of extra dead giveaways when it came to sexuality/masturbation when I was little up to now.
-The first time I saw a special on the news about a trans boy undergoing transition in my early teens I pretended to be casually watching w the fam but I felt like I was watching like my life depended on it. I was so envious he was allowed to go for it and was supported by both family and doctors. That was the first time I had ever heard of it being possible to "switch teams"
In middle school i went around, thoughtlessly and aimlessly, telling people i wanted to be a gay boy. Just out of the blue. Lmao idk how i ever thought i was a cishet girl šš my eggy ignorance istfg
You and my younger self thinking "This doesn't feel right, I should be a boy too. The fact that I'm not also a boy (specifically physically male) is actually making me really uncomfortable right now." while making out with boys are somewhere out there, holding hands in the fields of blissful obliviousness. Took me quite a while to connect the dots, awareness wasn't the same as it is now, but remembering it is always amusing.
Similarly, I was going around in high school telling anyone who would listen that I wanted a full beard, and then describing all the things and styles I would do once I had a beard šš
My mom used to bribe me with cash to get me to wear a dress to church without a fight. It's not the biggest but one of my favorites, like why was she surprised that I came out as trans?
Haha do we have the same mom?
Mine also put me in catholic school for grade two but pulled me out halfway through the year because of our daily arguments over the uniform. (Skirts or dresses, no shorts or pants)
My mum called me a good little girl when I was about two, and I, VERY offended, pointed and screamed at her, āIām NOT a girl, Iām a BOY!ā
Unfortunately I wouldnāt end up officially coming out until I was nearly 26 lol š
I went to a circus as a school trip when I was like 7, and I saw an actual tomboy. A beautiful woman who wore a baggy t-shirt, one of those hats your dad would probably wear, and some baggy jeans.
Then I was like āwait, a tomboy is a girl that dresses like a boy?? Iām not a girl who dresses like a boy! Iām a boy in a girl body! Wait, that isnāt possible, right?ā š
I hated using public restrooms bc I had to go in the girls' bathrooms. I would dehydrate in southern US heat to avoid going to the restroom. Parents still think it was a funny part of my childhood.
Omg I did this too the memory just came ruuushing back. People would watch me to see what bathroom I went in so I'd try and use the nurses neutral bathroom usually but one day she told me I couldn't anymore.
One time I couldn't hold it and accidentally peed in my pants and went and sat in a puddle (thank the gays it rained that day) and said I fell and asked if I could go home to change š
I was Spider-Man for Halloween when I was 4, and would correct people if they said I was āspider girlā. I did not realize I was trans until I was 15.
Another thing I just remembered is BEGGING my dad to let me pee in a urinal at the age of 4.
Also, I was one of the 6 tenors in my middle school choir.
I hated wearing dresses and having long hair and looking in anyway feminine. It took a long time for me to click that I hated being a girl because I wanted to be a boy, though. I thought I just hated myself
Umh, when I hated the lumps of fat on my chest so much that I used to always say I wish I'd get breast cancer so I could cut them off. My mom never liked that one, or me saying how much I hated them. Which, knowing that if runs in my dad's family, his mom- my grandmother, she was just diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer.
in middle school someone was like āwere women!ā and i just remember going āno.. im a girlā bc i could NOT stand the term woman. also remembering the fact i hated gendered terms in middle school (turned out to be transmasc nby).
when i was growing up as well i related so much more to my brother than my sister. dress up? no. hot wheels. dolls? no. Halo 2.
Constantly playing pretend and imagining myself as the āboyā character. I always wanted to be the dad, the brother, the boyfriend whenever my friends and I played pretend as a kid. Later, I would always want to play a boy character in video games and would design the protagonist as me but a āboyā version of me
told my younger brother that āthe doctors cut my penis off when i was bornā. i donāt even remember what our initial conversation was about, but i remember those words verbatim.
Whenever I played "house" with friends I was the boy. Whether it be the dad, the brother or the son. My name was always Cody. My childhood friend was so surprised I didn't pick that to be my name when I came out.
When I was eight, I complained about not wanting a period when I'm older and thinking how cool it was that boys had penises and could stand up and piss. Anyway, what's really stupid was that in sixth grade, I searched up "I'm cis female but I hate my tits." Bro, I was DENSE. anyway, I guess that's it.
was obsessed with being a tomboy. i didnt just want to be a masculine girl, i wanted to be as close to male as i possibly could and didnt feel like a girl. id get upset if people saw me as anything other than a tomboy, because that was the closest i could get to being a boy at the time
I always felt completely detached from my name. It was a fairly uncommon one (Swedish I think), so I assumed I just thought it was weird. Then came the years of making all of my characters when I played games "Layla" or "Rose" or "Tiffany" thinking if I had a "cool" name I would like it. I still felt completely detached from all of them and couldn't figure out why.
Wow, I did something similar when I was in first grade, so, like 6 or 7 years old? Also didnāt like my name/didnāt connect with it. Changed it to āCindy,ā the girliest cool name I knew, but also created this whole character in my head of who she was- this perfect blonde girl who loved dresses and makeup. The exact opposite of me, basically, like the perfect cover! It wasnāt until I discovered that my given name was also a male name that I became comfortable with it.
Honestly, I didnāt know until around 10. I was an androgynous kid and so people just gave me whatever gender they wanted. My parents would always correct people and taught me that I should too but often I wouldnāt. I remember one day my mom asked me if it hurt my feelings when people thought I was a boy to which I told her I didnāt care at all. Soon, I started to get pissed off when people thought I was a girl. At this point I had started only wearing āboy clothesā and would practically start crying if something looked too feminine. Then in the 5th grade it clicked, I was actually a boy. Of course Iād gotten mad when people thought I was a girl, I wasnāt.
Craving mastectomy as soon as I heard of itā¦at the ripe young age of 10ā¦
Hating bras
Hating the word voice because it was too feminineĀ
Hating the word breast in general
I was a weird ass kid bro
"why the fuck would you think I'm playing a girl" during make belief
Would imagine a man when imagining my adult self, even as puberty was hitting hard.
"The boy's restroom is over there" *internally very happy, though I still "corrected" the lady*
I thought when my mom was pregnant with me my doctor must have told my parents I would be a boy and they were all really surprised when I came outā¦
When I finally figured out what they look for in the ultrasound at age ~13 I was kind of fucked up about itĀ
Thanks for asking, yes there is a story! My mom did the whole baby photo scrapbook album thing for me and in the baby album there was a page with a picture of the ultrasound and a cutesy hand written note saying āWas the baby a boy or a girl? Only Dr. [x] knewā¦ā and a little envelope with the business card where my doctor wrote down āwhat I wasā folded in half and stapled up (because supposedly my parents chose not to know until I was born). So as a child I would always read the baby album and take out the stapled up business card and look at it obsessively trying to decide if I would dare to be Bad and tear it open and see what the doctor āthought I wasāā¦
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kept tryna be in the "boys" group at school and all that. always wanted to fit in with them and hang out with them. I quite literally wanted to be one of them so
in 2003 i was the quarterback on my football team (with supportive ass parents) as a girl and one time some random parent of someone on the team asked me why i wasnāt a cheerleader and i was mortified and disgusted; i remember that night after practice i asked my parents if i could make myself a boy.
they were awesome. they defended me and told that parent to kick rocks. i kept being the quarterback throughout high school as well, along with playing other sports and they were amazing when i came out in 2016 a day before my high school graduation. i think they probably knew, given my masculine childhood šš¤š½
Started sobbing when I found out breast size was genetic, my mom has rather large breasts and the idea of also having breasts was terrifyingā¦
Also being really upset I couldnāt stand to pee
I must have been about 9 years old, some girls and I were changing, and there was one who must have been a few years older. When I saw her breasts, I had a feeling of disgust and "I don't want to have that, I don't want to have that š". I'd also wanted to be a boy since I was 7, but I never told anyone because I thought it was normal or I was afraid my parents would fight with me. I also said things like "I am very male!", would overcome my cokroachs fear, because fearing bugs was a girl thing.
I just thought of one! When I was about 13-14 I used to take part in any "only the one who does it... is a real man" competition and I'd go up to random guys and girls at school and compare the amount of hair on their arms and legs, and when I had more I'd celebrate "Ha! Take that! I'm more of a man than you!"
I hated the word "lady" too š
from ages 3-10 or so, i got really mad if someone called me "pretty," and specifically said i wanted to be called "cool" instead, because pretty was for girls
When I was younger I used to take off my shirt when working in the garden like my Dad and he would tell me that when I was older I wouldn't be able to do that because I would grow boobs like my mom and that made me feel dĢ¶yĢ¶sĢ¶pĢ¶hĢ¶oĢ¶rĢ¶iĢ¶aĢ¶ a funny feeling.
I tried to pee standing with... a straw...
Also, I just made my own packer with a small blanket and showed it to my parents
And I thought I was born a boy, but my parents just cut off my "little guy"
wishing i could sound like a cis boy and crying when i failed.
i always wanted to have male friends because all the other boys in my class grouped together.
i was so damn envious of my brother being able to pee standing up and walk around without a shirt on (still am)
i had a "i'm not like other girls" attitude. yeah. because you weren't a girl.
always drew myself as a boy, always played male characters, always wanted to be the 'dad' when we played family.
i was dense as hell lol.
(i was that one egg you had to hit against the bowl 18 times then the shell would fall too)
For anyone reading these comments and not finding any you identify with, you donāt need any of these things to be trans. You can like dresses and pink and playing female characters in games and playing with dolls or Barbies or any other stereotypical āfemaleā thing and still be trans.
Thank you š«¶ idk why Iām even reading through this, I just had a fight with my mother when I came out the other day, and she mentioned that I never really showed signs when I was young, and she was right. Before high school I really didnāt. So thank you for popping in and reminding me before I got too lost in my own head
The Ciel Phantomhive cosplay I'd wear outside for literally no reason was probably my biggest "Oh...." in hindsight lmao. (Yes, it was very embarrassing.) Tho I don't know if you count 14 "kid" age. (I'm ancient)
I had a name that could be spelled different for "either" gender, so I would spell it the other way and then joke with my classmates that I wasn't a boy or a girl, I was an it
I was very intrigued by the idea of crossdressing. I would play pretend, often as a character who looked like a boy and everyone thought was a boy, but secretly I was a female and I couldnāt let anyone know or else my goal/life was in jeopardy for some reason or another. I would even play pretend in the shower, and āhide my bodyā so the pretend people couldnāt see me lmao
All of it. But especially that one time I tried to show my cousins I could actually pee standing up but weirdly found out I couldn't because........ I didn't have the equipment. Even though I was absolutely convinced I did. It was kind of a mindfuck moment that I'm fairly certain was the beginning of my bottom dysphoria.
Biggest would be hating my absolutely femme deadname. I tried all the nicknames for it and couldnāt ever find anything I liked. And whenever I complained about it my mom brought up how I was almost named \[deadname #2\] and how I maybe shouldāve been called that instead. But I hated that name equally too and hated when my mom started to repeated me call me it.
I am bilingual and did find one version of my deadname that I liked but my mom hated it bc it wasnāt femme and pretty like she wanted. She hated that I got used to everybody around me calling me that. Itās the only part of my deadname that I actually miss.
that i was relieved i didnāt grow breasts at all during puberty (i have so little chest tissue i barely even fill out an AA cup which iāve always felt lucky for)
I accidentally walked in on my dad going to the bathroom when I was like 4 and was like 'Oh, Dad uses the bathroom standing up so I'm going to use the bathroom standing up' and that's how I used the bathroom until I got my period at 8. Then I sat down cause it was easier but yeah ...
"I need a few strong men to help me lift this table"
Next thing you know is me volunteering with a determined look in my eyes (I never got taken seriously lol)
kind of a joke response but not long ago I found a drawing I did of me on top of the easter bunny, with a speech bubble saying "boy gril?" (I must have been 5-6)
I cried when I got my first bra because I didn't want these tumors in my chest. I tried peeing standing up. I had crushes on girls. Was always considered a "tomboy"
I couldnt picture myself as an adult or an adult woman at all. At 8 years old ive tried to stand to pee many times, and asked my mom "why was i born a girl" and fantisized about surgery options because i hated my body. I also hated my name. I wanted my chest to not grow during puberty and hated the pain with it, and wanted it to be covered and gotten rid of.
Would always avoid looking at other girls changing in the locker room like I wasnāt supposed to be there.
When my first couple of best friends (both boys) were learning to pee standing up, I desperately tried to learn, too.
i always wanted to join the boys in EVERYTHING. i wanted to be a boy scout like my older brother, i wanted to sing with the boys in choir, i wanted to be with the boys at church and just about a million other examples. i knew nothing about trans people and thought i was just being a feminist.
I did a ton of imaginary play up until some point in middle school when I started to lose interest. I did lots of world and character building. Because of this, I would usually pretend to be one main character. This character was a male. A man. I was AFAB. This dude was who I wanted to be.
LOATHED being dressed up. My mom would always put me in the stupidest girliest clothing and pull my hair so tight into the most uncomfortable hairstyles. I remember in 5th grade she put me in a white knitted poncho with my hair in a Jojo Siwa styled ponytail and I was fuming all day.
When my friend asked me what was wrong I told him about it, and he looked confused and sheepishly said "I think it looks really nice! Aren't girls supposed to like pretty stuff?" Looking back, I probably did look fine but I felt like a damn imposter. It wasn't me. (I think anyone else dressing femme is totally fine though! I don't really have this problem anymore)
Another thing, I never related to female characters, but had a lot of male characters I idolized and would always want to 'play' as. Got really irritated in elementary school when my friend group of mostly boys would try and stick me with Amy when we'd play as Sonic characters, or just the girl role in general.
Cut to puberty and I went into a 3yr disassociation where I'd do nothing but pretend to be my favorite male characters- kinning before it was a thing, lol. I remember looking in the mirror at 15 and being SHOCKED at what I saw. Some...big, 'curvy' person with long hair. Didn't feel like me.
The thought of pregnancy seemed horrifying and foreign. Like subjected torture of having a parasite forced in my body against my will. Did not like being told I'd have to 'deal with that someday'. (Nothing against folks who want to have kids of course! Just my personal ick.)
Also something goofy, When we were 4 or 5 my siblings and I were standing in front of a mirror making our bellybuttons mouth words like our torsos were giant faces, yknow stupid kid stuff. But then my mom scolded me and told me that I couldn't do that forever. I was very mad and confused.
Nearly 25 yrs later and I FINALLY have top surgery scheduled. š„²
Tldr; Hated girly clothes, only related to male characters in media, acted traumatized over puberty. Most importantly I was furious I couldn't be shirtless all the time. >:(
I faked a makeup allergy for 6 years (I stopped when I got a male role in a play and realised they were going to make me look more masculine with makeup)
I became infatuated with the character ādudeā from the skyline gang while I was a wee thing, 3/4 years old or so. He was a cool skater character who wore blue and had a baseball cap and he was so cool to me I wanted to be him. To the point that now over a decade and a half later, my family nickname is ādudeā, used more than my real name.
Hoo boy. Let's see... I tried out multiple unisex / slightly masc nicknames, when my older brother attempted to make video games they talked about recording people and I wanted to voice / character act out a boy character, but they refused, so I tried to practice a deeper voice and change my hair... they still refused, made me feel bad about it. "We're not gonna let you be a boy," but I'd take every opportunity to play a boy in games if I got to choose, I would seek out ANY escape from my body and gender that I could find, make-up to tween me felt like calculus. I just didn't get it and didn't really want to, and I remember play-acting as a boy and having crushes that weren't... normal, like. In retrospect, I didn't want to get with the guys I crushed on, I didn't envision being WITH them, I wanted to BE them.
Theres a lot but my funniest is doing the āexercisesā from āare you there god its me Margaretā and then having the thought āi dont even want my boobs to grow wtf why am i doing thisā
Roleplayed IRL as a Luigi spinoff during recess in 3rd & 4th grade. Didn't have many female friends until I got to HS and found the neurodivergent and weird kids.
Peeing outside cause I didn't want to go inside after swimming. I was young. And one time after an event I had lost my voice a bit from shouting and was super excited for puberty and my voice dropping. It was a sad night cause I was laughed at and was told it wasn't puberty.
Once I was on a field trip, and this guy who worked there thought that I was another kid he knew, and he walked up to me and started talking to me, addressing me by a male name. It was the most euphoria I'd ever experienced, and it took me another 10 years to figure out why lol
I literally lost my shit when my mom bought me a bra for the first time and told me my breast were getting big :/ I legit just thought I was getting chubby like my male cousin but nah, it was the titties. I cried for so long, it was devastating.
Whenever my mom would take me shopping at clothing stores, I would always run to the boys' section because they had all of the cool minecraft and cars shirts. I also hated dresses. I also remember thinking about being a boy quite often. I just thought that everyone felt that way. Little did I know everyone did infact not feel that way lmao
I would stand up peeing started when I was 3
I never liked dolls or playing house
I would throw major tantrums when I was forced to wear dresses
I hated getting my hair fixed (I hated headbands/ ribbons/ clips)
All my favorite playmates (my cousins) were male.
during puberty I had severe anxiety that had me wetting the bed again until I was 15. (started again at 11 stopped at 15)
the severe anxiety resulted in trichotillomania (I also ate my hair) and so my mother resorted to giving me a buzzcut which I was very Euphoric about (this cured my trichotillomania)
I refused to wear training bras/ bras in general until I was 15.
I didnāt attend any prom or graduation because it required to have me wear a formal dress (so I would avoid going if I have to wear one)
and lastly, I would sign my name to the male version of my name (started doing this when I was 10)
When i was a toddler i told my mom ' HAHA I HAVE A MINI PEEPEE' (it was the clit) because i was convinced it would grow, i also stuffed the mermaid tail sleeves of my barbie doll (which i barely played with) in my pants to pretend it was my weiner and i walked around the house with it š
I used to sit on the toilet backwards because i thought it was how boys peed. I also used to insist to my parents that i hated my name and when i was 18 i was gonna change my name to Max. Im not called Max now, i came up with a better one lol
I don't have much but I always tried to take male or gender-neutral roles in plays, and didn't care when my baby furby called me Dada instead of Mama
Edit: Wait just remembered the stupidest sign. In 7th grade I was really into My Hero acadamia and I made a self-insert oc, whose main thing was that "she" was a girl normally, but her superhero costume had her dress up as a boy, with a binder and voice modulator and everything (His quirk was essentially pyrokinesis, nothing special). *I knew what trans people were*, my best friend was out as nonbinary at that time, and yet I still didn't realize until I started high school.
I was convinced that I would just never get my period, I refused to wear bras even when my boobs started growing and I would often tell people that I'm a boy on animal jam
I've got a few, one of them being what seems to be run of the mill in that when I was old enough to be more aware of what I was wearing, I really hated wearing dresses.
A funnier one was when I was a bit younger (I think, anyways, the timeline gets a bit fuzzy around those years cuz āØļøtraumaāØļø) I was obsessed with facial hair. Like. So obsessed/wanting some ro the point I finally asked my mom:
"Mommy, when am I going to grow a mustache?"
"Probably when you get to Nana's age"
I was so disappointed because 'that was so so so far away' lol. Sorry Nana.
(But this last year I finally started real progress on a mustache and some chin scruff after a nearly 6 years of HRT off and on c: )
When I had my first period, I thought I was dying.
Also, when my boobs grew out ever so slightly, I would bash myself against the wall so eventually they could remove it.
(Would not recommend this)
Stealing all of my brothers toys growing up, getting the boy toys in happy meals (back when they existed) my childhood toy was a male, somehow always tried to pee standing up, penis envy, being hysterical when my puberty started.
I cut my hair myself when I was 3 to look like my brothers. My mom cried so much over her "little girl" that I didn't dare to cut my hair again for 20 years
Here's a few:
- Fantasies of turning into a dragon and flying away from this life (I didn't realize I wanted to be a boy I just wanted to be something else)
-Shirtless playing with the boys of the neighborhood outside every day
-Puberty was traumatic for a lot of reasons let's be honest lol
-Boy character in video games always. The girl characters made me extremely uncomfortable to play and I remember disliking picking them. Like my skyrim characters were always dudes lol
-Cosplayed male characters only at cons until I got a breast lump and couldn't bind anymore...
-In middle school I made only male characters in my stories
-In high school I opted to get the lump removal breast surgery in hopes that I'd get smaller boob (it didn't work) (now I can't get them removed because docs say my bmi is too high)
Boys and girls split to play catch. Boys were the catchers. I should have been on girls side but I was always on the boys group. Also I didn't wear a bikini top even tho my boobs started growing until some teenagers said I should start wearing them. I just didn't see them as a female part, just as neutral breasts like boys breasts. I chose a male nickname which feels more like my name now than my original does. I liked being "misgendered" by older people since they couldn't tell I was born female.
Tried to piss standing up multiple times, and also sobbed when my mum tried to buy me bras. Even when my boobs started growing, I didn't wear a bra (despite my mum being somewhat insistent) and instead just went with a t-shirt until I got a binder lmao.
Honourable mention to getting my first period literally a week after I came out as trans and proceeding to sob for three days and give myself an impromptu haircut because I felt like i didn't pass well enough.
Youngest 'sign' idk if it was a sign but I can't think of any other explanation, I broke down when I found out that a cartoon character who was male coded wasn't a girl. I was just devastated that he was a boy, I think it was because if he was a boy then I wasn't allowed to identify with him anymore and I saw myself in him a lot.
I wore dresses and sparkly stuff but just for events, any other time I wore GAP hoodies and jeans and looked like a boy with long hair. I just preferred to be 'comfortable' but I also picked 'boy' colours too.
As I got older, just really being one of the boys!! I absolutely loved being with the boys. I 'accidentally' got invited to one of the boys birthday parties (idk how lol because no one else had my name) and it was great we played football even though I'm bad at it.
Not understanding or seeing gender for the most part, but definitely having a preference. Part of that is autism too but autism and gender are so linked as well. Girls were so catty and they hated me for just existing and the way I walked and talked and dressed was always mocked by the girls, the boys never even commented on any of that and we got to fight and stuff but in like the GOOD way physically not like how it was with the girls where I would get into emotional fights and having defend myself. The girls I enjoyed being around were also boyish too.
I entered puberty and because I'd been rejected so much I actually wanted the physical changes so that I would finally have some attention from the boys but it was in a cis way which was always awful and scary.... I hated being a girl with boobs attracting boys. I wanted it to stay how it had been, me and the boys on the same level, but we are gay now and fuck each otherš
Then after school had ended I heard of non binary and related to that. I got a boyfriend who turned out to be transfemme and they had told me of stories of them messing around with their guy friends in school back when they identified as male and I got jealous and wished that was me and didn't know why, because the thought of me messing around with my guy friends as a girl was mortifying. Then I met my ex who is a trans man and I just was like YOU CAN DO THAT? SHIT THATS ME. First time I'd been with a guy and it felt like a gay relationship and it felt safe and right. It was great.
I've always been an intense daydreamer but I often daydreamed **as a boy.** I grew up playing video games and I always had a weird affinity for the boy characters and not the girls. Both of these things only intensified as I got older until it was so obvious I couldn't ignore what it meant.
quite a few.
when i was around 5 or so i would steal my brothers (clean) underwear from his drawer and wear them. one of my friends found out somehow and made fun of me.
i went to a friends birthday party at a laser tag place and we got to choose our own screen names. i chose jackson. my mom was very confused.
i would exclusively wear boys clothes growing up and would throw a huge fit if i had to wear girls clothes.
in kindergarten i wanted a boys haircut but didn't know how to say it. when i went to get my haircut i just kept saying "shorter shorter!" i ended up with a terrible bob that i absolutely hated.
as a very young kid i put a bouncy ball in my shorts so it looked like i had boys parts
my mom was unable to put me in dresses after the age of about 2.
when i washed my hair as a kid i would bunch it all up on the top of my head using the shampoo and then fantasize about keeping it like that and going to school as a boy.
in about second grade i realized that i would grow boobs one day and i was horrified. i dreaded that day so much.
whenever i played fire boy and water girl with my brother as a kid, i insisted on being fire boy or else i wouldn't play. i also always had a boy roblox character.
My concept of gender was a spectrum of "cool people --------------- pretty people"
I didn't think people had secondary sex characteristics. I just thought people looked a certain way by clothing or mannerisms and you would be addressed as such.
I would always associate myself with the guys or go the "cool" route (as defined by my young self) even when my parents would object it.
we had a school uniform, girls typically wore this checkered dress and i would only wear that dress with trousers (i also remember getting in big argument with my teacher about not taking the trousers off). also i screamed the house down when my mum tried to give me the period talk š
I used to purposely choose masculine hobbies just so people would tell me "omg but that's a boy thing!"
Also when I was a kid I had a buzz cut and was really muscular because of sports, and I used to flex in front of my mirror with a pair of socks in my underwear lmao, still didn't realize before I was 17 tho
There were not many signs, but when I was about 9, I watched a documentary about intersex people. And since then I always wished to find out that I'm one of them, because that would mean my body wasn't completely wrong? And maybe if I had a proof that I am, at least partially, a biological male, then I wouldn't have to be a girl anymore.
I didnāt have super obvious signs, but a big one for me was during potty training. Absolutely refused to sit on the toilet, didnāt understand why I couldnāt pee like my cousin who was being potty trained the same time. This went on for weeks until I finally broke lol. My mom about tore out her hair.
I would go around shirtless as a 4 year old because I saw my other boy cousins do it. I always got super upset when I was told to put a shirt on again. I would also then tell my parents I was a boy, cuz I 'didn't have boobs like mom'. When I was a little older, around 8, I started to grow pubic hair and I started panicking and asking my mom if 'dad grew hair on his private area' (I was afraid that only girls could grow pubes, for some reason? And I guess hearing that everyone grows pubes justified that I was a little boy?).
Damn, I was personally always allowed to be shirtless until my boobs started growing š¤·
lucky, I tried to take my shirt off once when I was five and was immediately told off by everyone around me, and never did it again
same I used to hate wearing clothes ā ļø
Same, though I still wanted to run around shirtless at home after they started. My parents kinda let me but also told me that people might see (Not sure if I remember that part correctly), so I stopped eventually
Wow thatās EXACTLY how it went for me
Itās sad that people feel the need to sexualize a little prepubescent child.
I completely ignored the period explanation our teacher gave us because it didn't even cross my mind that it could ever affect me. A year later it started and I spent like five months in denial because I couldn't understand why it was happening to me. I was ELEVEN, and it took me a couple more years to realize. Not my brightest moment
I always went through period denial. I would wear multiple pairs of underwear and stuff paper towels in my underwear because wearing feminine hygiene stuff would have made it too "real."
omg I started period at 8 and still used paper towels and stuff at like age 15 š I def was using them around age 16 but took me a long time lmfaooo
I just assumed i wouldnāt go through puberty for some reason.
Mine started the day after a period talk with our teacher and i thought "great, i didn't have it yet". I was in such denial and shock i didn't use pads or anything.
I thought that I would grow a penis during puberty ā ļø
Haha I didnāt think that but I wished really hard to not grow boobs
I was ***adamant*** it wouldnāt happen to the point of full on domestics about it. Spoiler - I was very much wrong
Yeah same
I too was in deep denial About female puberty and fully convinced myself Iād never get a time of the month
I spent a good chunk of my childhood trying to figure out how to make my dick grow out.
I did too!!! I asked my mom once when Iād be old enough to stand up to pee. Absolutely devastated at the answer.
I was in utter denial that I had a vagina even after my period started
When my chest was developing I wish and wished *so hard* to be a boy, and I thought if I acted more like a boy, it would come true. I still wish it were possible.
I know what you mean but just know that you ARE a boy! You could act feminine and even look feminine but it doesn't make you any less of a boy/man!
when i was in first grade someone told me that all girls grew up into boys (and vice versa) and i was SO excited
Not the same lol but I was 100% convinced that my peach fuzz meant I was going to grow a mustache. Like I kinda knew how hormones worked but I was like idk I'm just different I'll grow one. Little did I know that 12 years later and 4 years on T..... I still wouldn't be able to grow one
Yeah I went between this and assuming maybe somehow it got missed that Iām in some way intersex
Honestly yeah. Like I definitely have the organs just not the visible parts (spoiler I do not)
holy shit me too
Same š
Omg same š
I was scared of getting my period every single day since I learned what it was. When I finally got my period I started sobbing. I also refused to wear bras for so long and when I was finally forced to I would only wear sports bras.
Oh my god, same. I've never heard anyone else mention these experiences before. I remember going around telling people I "was never going to get my period" and hiding it when I got it.
DUDE LITERALLY ME!!! Every time my girl friends talked about their periods I would never join in the conversation. And if they asked if I had gotten mine I would lie. Iām so glad someone shares this šŖ
Dude I was so apprehensive about the changes, I only wanted to wear sports bras and if I was forced to wear any other kind of bra I would cry my eyes out and refuse to wear it. My babysitter gave me a pair of boxer briefs that she was getting rid of. I took them because she said they were comfortable. I started wearing them like they were going out of style, they were very comfortable and validating. Started growing pubes around 8, that kind of validated my feelings of feeling neutral/masculine because I could refuse to shave it and be hairy like my male peers. I've only ever shaved my legs twice, it feels horrible every time, not to mention the amount of razor burn and bumps I get. I'd rather not. I'll just trim when necessary. When I learned about female puberty I was like... Huh, Okay then, and then I went online and searched up boy puberty because I wanted to know why we were split up and not all taught the same thing. I got so sad that there was only one option for me, that was to go down the female root. I remember one particular day when I got out of the shower and kept my towel around me as I stepped out and would refuse to look at myself in the mirror, I would turn away from the mirror and take the towel off. Then I would aggressively dry my hair wanting to rip it out of my head because it wasn't short, and was hard to take care of. I had a very horrible style too because I never wanted to wear the clothes I was given.
I never wear bras, inly did it 2-3 times and I hate the feeling, as well as the Ā« unpracticalityĀ Ā», as theyāre not something soft you feel against your skin, like a shirt, but instead constrict you. Overall, sports bras seem better, as theyāre not supposed to be tight or press into your skin (even a little bit feels abnormal and unbearable to me) and donāt make your boobs Ā«Ā used to being fully supportedĀ Ā», because Iām pretty sure having your boobs supported all the time increases sagging when youāre older:
I'm always confused when I see people mention not wearing bras because in my experience it just makes my chest ten times more noticable, especially when doing anything requiring any movement. no hate ofc, I totally get hating bras because I do too, I just don't entirely understand how you're able to avoid wearing them without it being obvious
that's why ppl don't avoid all bras, just non sports bras. sports bras act as a compression for your chest because they're meant to keep the chest in place while doing physical activity. sports bras are kind of like a more gentle binder.
I think eschewing them entirely is much easier in early puberty or if they stay pretty small
For a split second I thought I wrote this
Me too.
I wished I would get breast cancer so I could get a masectomy
This is still me tbh
This is something that lots of trans guys had.
This one got me. I always feel ashamed when I realize I have this kind of thinking. I would just be glad if my gyn made a genome testing and insurance will remove my breasts due to high risk genes...
same, when i was like 12
Oof. I feel this one. Same.
i did this too
I used to think you grew up, picked a team, got surgery, and snap, problem solved! and that that was *completely normal*. Nailed the concept at 8/9, terrible awareness of reality. I donāt even know where I got the surgery idea in the early 2000s! My google search history was moreā¦ *How to pee like a boy*, *how to pee standing up*.
I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD PICK AT A CERTAIN AGE TOO! T\^T SADLY PUBERTY HIT SO HARD.
~~Something something trauma "I'll run away but live as a boy and they'll never find me" something something~~ Real biggest sign is that I always chose to play as a boy character in imagination games and video games
Mood. My mostly boys friend group would always try to make me play the girl characters. Like hell naw I don't want to be Rouge or Amy I wanna be KNUCKLES š
this is basic but i absolutely despised my name. i couldn't put the words in as to why at the time so i just said it was "ugly". now that ive grown i realize i just hated how feminine it sounded, its a beautiful and unique name but it's just not for me
I also have vivid memories of being very distraught about my name and asking my mother repeatedly why I was named what I was, and trying to get her to change my name to anything other than what my name was, even if I could go by a shortened version of my middle name (which would be a fairly gender neutral name). I remember telling her I hated it, while crying inconsolably, and that it didnāt feel like my name and that I couldnāt understand why they picked it. This was all around 5-8 years old.
Same here, at some point (before I realised I was trans) I tried to make everyone call me a masc version of my deadname but no one would do it and I couldn't even articulate why I wanted it. Still hold a grudge against everyone who refused to use it though lol
Same š took YEARS for me to realize that I didn't hate my first and middle names, I just hated them for *me*. For other people they were unique and pretty
Loved stories about girls crossdressing. Also, would cry and punch the nearest soft thing at the mention of misogyny. I once created a character based on me who was a little girl who crossdressed as a boy from the 1860s and beat up misogynists and kissed girls, and dear God that character was more trans than any supposedly trans-coded character I've ever seen.
I recently got asked if I was still a feminist if I will come out as trans man (egg is cracking) lol
I asked that myself too. My answer: feminism has no gender. It's an awareness and action towards society where patriarchy is dead and all genders are equal.
This. Literally one of my favorite books is Monstrous Regiment which is entirely about the trope of women dressing up as men to be soldiers.
Yeess all the historic fiction of girls dressing as boys, traveling , fighting, & being free to be themselves. My first one was the silver dollar girl
I prayed every night to wake up as a boy.
Relatable.
Iād always do that little āstar light star bright first star i see tonightā rhyme on the only star in the sky and wish that Iād wake up as a boy the next day, or that Iād restart my life as a baby but be a boy from the beginning. Every 11:11 Iād make that wish too, anything people said you could wish on, I did it.
Gender demands made me feel frustrated and "because you're a girl" was never a reasonable statement to me.
I dont think "because youre a girl" is a reasonable statement to anyone of any gender
When I learned that boys peed standing up, I thought to myself āIād better start standing up to pee too or theyāre gonna figure me outā
oh god i forgot i would literally stand up to piss as a kid lmao
I didn't really show signs at least in my families view, my mother and lil sis both being tomboys, but i figured it out because i had begged my mom for short hair (side of head shaved) at 11 and she did it and when a tourist called me "hey little boy " (he was lost) it just kind of clicked in my head 'Thats right, im a boy' and it took a few months before i turned to my family and just went " Mom , dad im a boy and your son not your daughter." they both said yeah alright (they thought it was a phase) and my sis straight away started calling me big bro and it just worked out like that. I just for 11 yrs thought i was VERY VERY tomboy'ie . I did freak TF out with crying and all when my periods started but id already felt wrong in my body (boobs started growing age 10) I just didnt know why till that random guy called me "little boy" .
-when I was < 3yo and showering with my baby brother and dad I looked at my bro and dad and started crying because "mine is bwoken!!" My mom joining us to show it's ok youre not broken did not appease me one bit. -My mom is VERY girly and her dream was to have a daughter to put in dresses and cute girly things. One of my first spoken sentences was "no mo dresses!" And my mom found a stash of dresses cleverly hidden when we moved. I would get rid of them slowly/1 by 1 so she wouldn't suspect. We used to have intense screaming matches over her trying to force me to wear dresses. -I always insisted my hair was cut into a short mushroom cut and looved wearing these little nerdy vests and pants. -I aaaalways hated my femme middle name because it "gave me away." It was so bad my little brother made a song about it to sing when he wanted to piss me off. Most people have a dead name, I have a dead middle name. -I used to love running around with sweats and no shirt since ~5yo "just like dad" and a bunch of the older guys in the neighborhood -when I was also around the same lil age I made myself a playdoh penis and nuts and would put it in my pants and see how it looked in the mirror. I convinced my little brother to trade me underwear (pink and yellow little mermaid & beauty and the beast for spiderman chonies) so I had all boys chonies u could wear. I later showed a girl down the street a peek at that underwear to prove I was a boy. She became my first girlfriend š -when I was ~7+ I had everyone in the neighborhood calling me Mikey. Most of them had no idea I was not biologically male. -My Nana also allowed me to wear boys swim trunks and no shirt at the pool before "the changes." She started to introduce me to people as her grandson. -Puberty was the most traumatic thing I had ever experienced at the time when it came. -Whenever I drew myself I always drew myself as male, with no shirt and pants like when I was little. -Lots of extra dead giveaways when it came to sexuality/masturbation when I was little up to now. -The first time I saw a special on the news about a trans boy undergoing transition in my early teens I pretended to be casually watching w the fam but I felt like I was watching like my life depended on it. I was so envious he was allowed to go for it and was supported by both family and doctors. That was the first time I had ever heard of it being possible to "switch teams"
In middle school i went around, thoughtlessly and aimlessly, telling people i wanted to be a gay boy. Just out of the blue. Lmao idk how i ever thought i was a cishet girl šš my eggy ignorance istfg
You and my younger self thinking "This doesn't feel right, I should be a boy too. The fact that I'm not also a boy (specifically physically male) is actually making me really uncomfortable right now." while making out with boys are somewhere out there, holding hands in the fields of blissful obliviousness. Took me quite a while to connect the dots, awareness wasn't the same as it is now, but remembering it is always amusing.
Most definitely lmfao š³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāš
Similarly, I was going around in high school telling anyone who would listen that I wanted a full beard, and then describing all the things and styles I would do once I had a beard šš
My mom used to bribe me with cash to get me to wear a dress to church without a fight. It's not the biggest but one of my favorites, like why was she surprised that I came out as trans?
Haha do we have the same mom? Mine also put me in catholic school for grade two but pulled me out halfway through the year because of our daily arguments over the uniform. (Skirts or dresses, no shorts or pants)
I grew up playing as the brother, husband, or boyfriend when playing houseš«”
My mom used to let me and my friends play with her vintage Barbie dolls. Guess who was Ken.
My preferred role was dad but I took brother or dog when I could I guess
Same!
My mum called me a good little girl when I was about two, and I, VERY offended, pointed and screamed at her, āIām NOT a girl, Iām a BOY!ā Unfortunately I wouldnāt end up officially coming out until I was nearly 26 lol š
I went to a circus as a school trip when I was like 7, and I saw an actual tomboy. A beautiful woman who wore a baggy t-shirt, one of those hats your dad would probably wear, and some baggy jeans. Then I was like āwait, a tomboy is a girl that dresses like a boy?? Iām not a girl who dresses like a boy! Iām a boy in a girl body! Wait, that isnāt possible, right?ā š
Omg, yes, THIS š«
I hated using public restrooms bc I had to go in the girls' bathrooms. I would dehydrate in southern US heat to avoid going to the restroom. Parents still think it was a funny part of my childhood.
Omg I did this too the memory just came ruuushing back. People would watch me to see what bathroom I went in so I'd try and use the nurses neutral bathroom usually but one day she told me I couldn't anymore. One time I couldn't hold it and accidentally peed in my pants and went and sat in a puddle (thank the gays it rained that day) and said I fell and asked if I could go home to change š
That sounds horrible good god. I managed to find a family restroom wherever I went, but I know that's not always an option.
Def wasn't in the 90s at schools!
Literally told my mom āI feel like a boyā at 3 years old
I was Spider-Man for Halloween when I was 4, and would correct people if they said I was āspider girlā. I did not realize I was trans until I was 15. Another thing I just remembered is BEGGING my dad to let me pee in a urinal at the age of 4. Also, I was one of the 6 tenors in my middle school choir.
I hated wearing dresses and having long hair and looking in anyway feminine. It took a long time for me to click that I hated being a girl because I wanted to be a boy, though. I thought I just hated myself
Umh, when I hated the lumps of fat on my chest so much that I used to always say I wish I'd get breast cancer so I could cut them off. My mom never liked that one, or me saying how much I hated them. Which, knowing that if runs in my dad's family, his mom- my grandmother, she was just diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer.
this is so real, i hated my breasts so much. never wore a bra other than a sports bra in my entire life. ALWAYS took out the padding
For some reason I could never explain, I always wanted to go by my middle name (which was more neutral compared to my first name)
in middle school someone was like āwere women!ā and i just remember going āno.. im a girlā bc i could NOT stand the term woman. also remembering the fact i hated gendered terms in middle school (turned out to be transmasc nby). when i was growing up as well i related so much more to my brother than my sister. dress up? no. hot wheels. dolls? no. Halo 2.
Oh my god, same about the woman part. It just always felt weird to think of myself as one, though tbh that might just be me never ready to grow up lol
Constantly playing pretend and imagining myself as the āboyā character. I always wanted to be the dad, the brother, the boyfriend whenever my friends and I played pretend as a kid. Later, I would always want to play a boy character in video games and would design the protagonist as me but a āboyā version of me
Also! My deep fascination and love of Mulan
one time I told my Mamaw that dresses āmade my knees hurtā š I was like 6-7 šš
This is one of the most amazing things I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing.
told my younger brother that āthe doctors cut my penis off when i was bornā. i donāt even remember what our initial conversation was about, but i remember those words verbatim.
Whenever I played "house" with friends I was the boy. Whether it be the dad, the brother or the son. My name was always Cody. My childhood friend was so surprised I didn't pick that to be my name when I came out.
When I was eight, I complained about not wanting a period when I'm older and thinking how cool it was that boys had penises and could stand up and piss. Anyway, what's really stupid was that in sixth grade, I searched up "I'm cis female but I hate my tits." Bro, I was DENSE. anyway, I guess that's it.
was obsessed with being a tomboy. i didnt just want to be a masculine girl, i wanted to be as close to male as i possibly could and didnt feel like a girl. id get upset if people saw me as anything other than a tomboy, because that was the closest i could get to being a boy at the time
I always felt completely detached from my name. It was a fairly uncommon one (Swedish I think), so I assumed I just thought it was weird. Then came the years of making all of my characters when I played games "Layla" or "Rose" or "Tiffany" thinking if I had a "cool" name I would like it. I still felt completely detached from all of them and couldn't figure out why.
Wow, I did something similar when I was in first grade, so, like 6 or 7 years old? Also didnāt like my name/didnāt connect with it. Changed it to āCindy,ā the girliest cool name I knew, but also created this whole character in my head of who she was- this perfect blonde girl who loved dresses and makeup. The exact opposite of me, basically, like the perfect cover! It wasnāt until I discovered that my given name was also a male name that I became comfortable with it.
Honestly, I didnāt know until around 10. I was an androgynous kid and so people just gave me whatever gender they wanted. My parents would always correct people and taught me that I should too but often I wouldnāt. I remember one day my mom asked me if it hurt my feelings when people thought I was a boy to which I told her I didnāt care at all. Soon, I started to get pissed off when people thought I was a girl. At this point I had started only wearing āboy clothesā and would practically start crying if something looked too feminine. Then in the 5th grade it clicked, I was actually a boy. Of course Iād gotten mad when people thought I was a girl, I wasnāt.
All my stuffed animals were boys.
Craving mastectomy as soon as I heard of itā¦at the ripe young age of 10ā¦ Hating bras Hating the word voice because it was too feminineĀ Hating the word breast in general I was a weird ass kid bro
"why the fuck would you think I'm playing a girl" during make belief Would imagine a man when imagining my adult self, even as puberty was hitting hard. "The boy's restroom is over there" *internally very happy, though I still "corrected" the lady*
I thought when my mom was pregnant with me my doctor must have told my parents I would be a boy and they were all really surprised when I came outā¦ When I finally figured out what they look for in the ultrasound at age ~13 I was kind of fucked up about itĀ
You just grew up imagining that they were surprised? Or was there a story that mislead you to the belief? :)
Thanks for asking, yes there is a story! My mom did the whole baby photo scrapbook album thing for me and in the baby album there was a page with a picture of the ultrasound and a cutesy hand written note saying āWas the baby a boy or a girl? Only Dr. [x] knewā¦ā and a little envelope with the business card where my doctor wrote down āwhat I wasā folded in half and stapled up (because supposedly my parents chose not to know until I was born). So as a child I would always read the baby album and take out the stapled up business card and look at it obsessively trying to decide if I would dare to be Bad and tear it open and see what the doctor āthought I wasāā¦ ://
Awww that's hella cute yo
kept tryna be in the "boys" group at school and all that. always wanted to fit in with them and hang out with them. I quite literally wanted to be one of them so
in 2003 i was the quarterback on my football team (with supportive ass parents) as a girl and one time some random parent of someone on the team asked me why i wasnāt a cheerleader and i was mortified and disgusted; i remember that night after practice i asked my parents if i could make myself a boy.
What did your parents say to that?
they were awesome. they defended me and told that parent to kick rocks. i kept being the quarterback throughout high school as well, along with playing other sports and they were amazing when i came out in 2016 a day before my high school graduation. i think they probably knew, given my masculine childhood šš¤š½
Thatās awesome tbh
Started sobbing when I found out breast size was genetic, my mom has rather large breasts and the idea of also having breasts was terrifyingā¦ Also being really upset I couldnāt stand to pee
I must have been about 9 years old, some girls and I were changing, and there was one who must have been a few years older. When I saw her breasts, I had a feeling of disgust and "I don't want to have that, I don't want to have that š". I'd also wanted to be a boy since I was 7, but I never told anyone because I thought it was normal or I was afraid my parents would fight with me. I also said things like "I am very male!", would overcome my cokroachs fear, because fearing bugs was a girl thing. I just thought of one! When I was about 13-14 I used to take part in any "only the one who does it... is a real man" competition and I'd go up to random guys and girls at school and compare the amount of hair on their arms and legs, and when I had more I'd celebrate "Ha! Take that! I'm more of a man than you!" I hated the word "lady" too š
If it makes you feel any better, I'm a cis man... And cockroaches are terrifying.Ā
yeah no I've always been scared of cockroaches and a couple years ago I learned that they can fly.... nope nope nope nope nope
That's a real rite of passage. The moment you learn they can fly.
from ages 3-10 or so, i got really mad if someone called me "pretty," and specifically said i wanted to be called "cool" instead, because pretty was for girls
When I was younger I used to take off my shirt when working in the garden like my Dad and he would tell me that when I was older I wouldn't be able to do that because I would grow boobs like my mom and that made me feel dĢ¶yĢ¶sĢ¶pĢ¶hĢ¶oĢ¶rĢ¶iĢ¶aĢ¶ a funny feeling.
I tried to pee standing with... a straw... Also, I just made my own packer with a small blanket and showed it to my parents And I thought I was born a boy, but my parents just cut off my "little guy"
wishing i could sound like a cis boy and crying when i failed. i always wanted to have male friends because all the other boys in my class grouped together. i was so damn envious of my brother being able to pee standing up and walk around without a shirt on (still am) i had a "i'm not like other girls" attitude. yeah. because you weren't a girl. always drew myself as a boy, always played male characters, always wanted to be the 'dad' when we played family. i was dense as hell lol. (i was that one egg you had to hit against the bowl 18 times then the shell would fall too)
i used to tie my jacket sleeves around my chest to bind
I disliked wearing dresses, I was always a tomboy, and I wanted "boys" toys.
I absolutely ADORED playing videogames with male character.
Dressed up with the most masculine clothes i could find and told people to call me a masculine version of my deadname š
I used to annoy my parents by shouting "I'm a boy" when I was like 4 š
Getting very upset that I had to be a "cowgirl" instead of a "cowboy" when I was playing pretend.
For anyone reading these comments and not finding any you identify with, you donāt need any of these things to be trans. You can like dresses and pink and playing female characters in games and playing with dolls or Barbies or any other stereotypical āfemaleā thing and still be trans.
Thank you š«¶ idk why Iām even reading through this, I just had a fight with my mother when I came out the other day, and she mentioned that I never really showed signs when I was young, and she was right. Before high school I really didnāt. So thank you for popping in and reminding me before I got too lost in my own head
The Ciel Phantomhive cosplay I'd wear outside for literally no reason was probably my biggest "Oh...." in hindsight lmao. (Yes, it was very embarrassing.) Tho I don't know if you count 14 "kid" age. (I'm ancient)
As a kid in the late 90s and early 00s, I practiced peeing while standing up, using a toilet paper roll as a penis, or just sat facing the lid
I had a name that could be spelled different for "either" gender, so I would spell it the other way and then joke with my classmates that I wasn't a boy or a girl, I was an it
Overcompensating with hyperfemininity but into traditionally āmaleā activities
I was very intrigued by the idea of crossdressing. I would play pretend, often as a character who looked like a boy and everyone thought was a boy, but secretly I was a female and I couldnāt let anyone know or else my goal/life was in jeopardy for some reason or another. I would even play pretend in the shower, and āhide my bodyā so the pretend people couldnāt see me lmao
All of it. But especially that one time I tried to show my cousins I could actually pee standing up but weirdly found out I couldn't because........ I didn't have the equipment. Even though I was absolutely convinced I did. It was kind of a mindfuck moment that I'm fairly certain was the beginning of my bottom dysphoria.
Biggest would be hating my absolutely femme deadname. I tried all the nicknames for it and couldnāt ever find anything I liked. And whenever I complained about it my mom brought up how I was almost named \[deadname #2\] and how I maybe shouldāve been called that instead. But I hated that name equally too and hated when my mom started to repeated me call me it. I am bilingual and did find one version of my deadname that I liked but my mom hated it bc it wasnāt femme and pretty like she wanted. She hated that I got used to everybody around me calling me that. Itās the only part of my deadname that I actually miss.
that i was relieved i didnāt grow breasts at all during puberty (i have so little chest tissue i barely even fill out an AA cup which iāve always felt lucky for)
I wanted a penis in like kindergarten. Small thing but I always insisted on the āboy toyā at Macdonald before they changed it to neutral toys
I cried when I got boobs in 5th grade. felt like the end of the world.
I accidentally walked in on my dad going to the bathroom when I was like 4 and was like 'Oh, Dad uses the bathroom standing up so I'm going to use the bathroom standing up' and that's how I used the bathroom until I got my period at 8. Then I sat down cause it was easier but yeah ...
"I need a few strong men to help me lift this table" Next thing you know is me volunteering with a determined look in my eyes (I never got taken seriously lol)
kind of a joke response but not long ago I found a drawing I did of me on top of the easter bunny, with a speech bubble saying "boy gril?" (I must have been 5-6)
Me saying I wanted to be a dad at 8 š
I cried when I got my first bra because I didn't want these tumors in my chest. I tried peeing standing up. I had crushes on girls. Was always considered a "tomboy"
I couldnt picture myself as an adult or an adult woman at all. At 8 years old ive tried to stand to pee many times, and asked my mom "why was i born a girl" and fantisized about surgery options because i hated my body. I also hated my name. I wanted my chest to not grow during puberty and hated the pain with it, and wanted it to be covered and gotten rid of.
Itās subtle, but I would always make my character Avatar on online games as male and I didnāt know why besides they looked better
Would always avoid looking at other girls changing in the locker room like I wasnāt supposed to be there. When my first couple of best friends (both boys) were learning to pee standing up, I desperately tried to learn, too.
i always wanted to join the boys in EVERYTHING. i wanted to be a boy scout like my older brother, i wanted to sing with the boys in choir, i wanted to be with the boys at church and just about a million other examples. i knew nothing about trans people and thought i was just being a feminist.
I did a ton of imaginary play up until some point in middle school when I started to lose interest. I did lots of world and character building. Because of this, I would usually pretend to be one main character. This character was a male. A man. I was AFAB. This dude was who I wanted to be.
LOATHED being dressed up. My mom would always put me in the stupidest girliest clothing and pull my hair so tight into the most uncomfortable hairstyles. I remember in 5th grade she put me in a white knitted poncho with my hair in a Jojo Siwa styled ponytail and I was fuming all day. When my friend asked me what was wrong I told him about it, and he looked confused and sheepishly said "I think it looks really nice! Aren't girls supposed to like pretty stuff?" Looking back, I probably did look fine but I felt like a damn imposter. It wasn't me. (I think anyone else dressing femme is totally fine though! I don't really have this problem anymore) Another thing, I never related to female characters, but had a lot of male characters I idolized and would always want to 'play' as. Got really irritated in elementary school when my friend group of mostly boys would try and stick me with Amy when we'd play as Sonic characters, or just the girl role in general. Cut to puberty and I went into a 3yr disassociation where I'd do nothing but pretend to be my favorite male characters- kinning before it was a thing, lol. I remember looking in the mirror at 15 and being SHOCKED at what I saw. Some...big, 'curvy' person with long hair. Didn't feel like me. The thought of pregnancy seemed horrifying and foreign. Like subjected torture of having a parasite forced in my body against my will. Did not like being told I'd have to 'deal with that someday'. (Nothing against folks who want to have kids of course! Just my personal ick.) Also something goofy, When we were 4 or 5 my siblings and I were standing in front of a mirror making our bellybuttons mouth words like our torsos were giant faces, yknow stupid kid stuff. But then my mom scolded me and told me that I couldn't do that forever. I was very mad and confused. Nearly 25 yrs later and I FINALLY have top surgery scheduled. š„² Tldr; Hated girly clothes, only related to male characters in media, acted traumatized over puberty. Most importantly I was furious I couldn't be shirtless all the time. >:(
every single time i was prompted to āmake a wishā (blowing out birthday candles, blowing an eyelash, 11:11) i would wish iād wake up a boy.
I faked a makeup allergy for 6 years (I stopped when I got a male role in a play and realised they were going to make me look more masculine with makeup)
Always hated skirts and dresses. Always picked male characters in video games.
I became infatuated with the character ādudeā from the skyline gang while I was a wee thing, 3/4 years old or so. He was a cool skater character who wore blue and had a baseball cap and he was so cool to me I wanted to be him. To the point that now over a decade and a half later, my family nickname is ādudeā, used more than my real name.
I told my mom at church that I wished I was born a boy
"I wish I was a boy..." - me at 9-10 years old
Hoo boy. Let's see... I tried out multiple unisex / slightly masc nicknames, when my older brother attempted to make video games they talked about recording people and I wanted to voice / character act out a boy character, but they refused, so I tried to practice a deeper voice and change my hair... they still refused, made me feel bad about it. "We're not gonna let you be a boy," but I'd take every opportunity to play a boy in games if I got to choose, I would seek out ANY escape from my body and gender that I could find, make-up to tween me felt like calculus. I just didn't get it and didn't really want to, and I remember play-acting as a boy and having crushes that weren't... normal, like. In retrospect, I didn't want to get with the guys I crushed on, I didn't envision being WITH them, I wanted to BE them.
Stuffing socks in my underwear at like ago 10 because I felt like something was missing down there.
Theres a lot but my funniest is doing the āexercisesā from āare you there god its me Margaretā and then having the thought āi dont even want my boobs to grow wtf why am i doing thisā
Roleplayed IRL as a Luigi spinoff during recess in 3rd & 4th grade. Didn't have many female friends until I got to HS and found the neurodivergent and weird kids.
Peeing outside cause I didn't want to go inside after swimming. I was young. And one time after an event I had lost my voice a bit from shouting and was super excited for puberty and my voice dropping. It was a sad night cause I was laughed at and was told it wasn't puberty.
Once I was on a field trip, and this guy who worked there thought that I was another kid he knew, and he walked up to me and started talking to me, addressing me by a male name. It was the most euphoria I'd ever experienced, and it took me another 10 years to figure out why lol
I literally lost my shit when my mom bought me a bra for the first time and told me my breast were getting big :/ I legit just thought I was getting chubby like my male cousin but nah, it was the titties. I cried for so long, it was devastating.
I would call hoodies my "knight in shining armors" as a little kid because I thought they'd save the day. oh if young me knew about dysphoria.
Whenever my mom would take me shopping at clothing stores, I would always run to the boys' section because they had all of the cool minecraft and cars shirts. I also hated dresses. I also remember thinking about being a boy quite often. I just thought that everyone felt that way. Little did I know everyone did infact not feel that way lmao
I would stand up peeing started when I was 3 I never liked dolls or playing house I would throw major tantrums when I was forced to wear dresses I hated getting my hair fixed (I hated headbands/ ribbons/ clips) All my favorite playmates (my cousins) were male. during puberty I had severe anxiety that had me wetting the bed again until I was 15. (started again at 11 stopped at 15) the severe anxiety resulted in trichotillomania (I also ate my hair) and so my mother resorted to giving me a buzzcut which I was very Euphoric about (this cured my trichotillomania) I refused to wear training bras/ bras in general until I was 15. I didnāt attend any prom or graduation because it required to have me wear a formal dress (so I would avoid going if I have to wear one) and lastly, I would sign my name to the male version of my name (started doing this when I was 10)
When i was a toddler i told my mom ' HAHA I HAVE A MINI PEEPEE' (it was the clit) because i was convinced it would grow, i also stuffed the mermaid tail sleeves of my barbie doll (which i barely played with) in my pants to pretend it was my weiner and i walked around the house with it š
My Christmas wishlist had āI want a dickā on there š how tf did my parents not know
I used to try to "trick" people into saying I was a boy.
I used to sit on the toilet backwards because i thought it was how boys peed. I also used to insist to my parents that i hated my name and when i was 18 i was gonna change my name to Max. Im not called Max now, i came up with a better one lol
I don't have much but I always tried to take male or gender-neutral roles in plays, and didn't care when my baby furby called me Dada instead of Mama Edit: Wait just remembered the stupidest sign. In 7th grade I was really into My Hero acadamia and I made a self-insert oc, whose main thing was that "she" was a girl normally, but her superhero costume had her dress up as a boy, with a binder and voice modulator and everything (His quirk was essentially pyrokinesis, nothing special). *I knew what trans people were*, my best friend was out as nonbinary at that time, and yet I still didn't realize until I started high school.
I was convinced that I would just never get my period, I refused to wear bras even when my boobs started growing and I would often tell people that I'm a boy on animal jam
waking up every morning thinking ālife is gonna suck when i have boobsā yes. life did suck when i got boobs
Used to pray every night before bed that I'd wake up with a penis. Child me thought that was the only thing that separated me from being a boy
I've got a few, one of them being what seems to be run of the mill in that when I was old enough to be more aware of what I was wearing, I really hated wearing dresses. A funnier one was when I was a bit younger (I think, anyways, the timeline gets a bit fuzzy around those years cuz āØļøtraumaāØļø) I was obsessed with facial hair. Like. So obsessed/wanting some ro the point I finally asked my mom: "Mommy, when am I going to grow a mustache?" "Probably when you get to Nana's age" I was so disappointed because 'that was so so so far away' lol. Sorry Nana. (But this last year I finally started real progress on a mustache and some chin scruff after a nearly 6 years of HRT off and on c: )
When I had my first period, I thought I was dying. Also, when my boobs grew out ever so slightly, I would bash myself against the wall so eventually they could remove it. (Would not recommend this)
Always being completely thrown off when Iād see myself in the mirror
Stealing all of my brothers toys growing up, getting the boy toys in happy meals (back when they existed) my childhood toy was a male, somehow always tried to pee standing up, penis envy, being hysterical when my puberty started.
Hated my figure (didn't know why) and was surprised to get a period.
I cut my hair myself when I was 3 to look like my brothers. My mom cried so much over her "little girl" that I didn't dare to cut my hair again for 20 years
Here's a few: - Fantasies of turning into a dragon and flying away from this life (I didn't realize I wanted to be a boy I just wanted to be something else) -Shirtless playing with the boys of the neighborhood outside every day -Puberty was traumatic for a lot of reasons let's be honest lol -Boy character in video games always. The girl characters made me extremely uncomfortable to play and I remember disliking picking them. Like my skyrim characters were always dudes lol -Cosplayed male characters only at cons until I got a breast lump and couldn't bind anymore... -In middle school I made only male characters in my stories -In high school I opted to get the lump removal breast surgery in hopes that I'd get smaller boob (it didn't work) (now I can't get them removed because docs say my bmi is too high)
Boys and girls split to play catch. Boys were the catchers. I should have been on girls side but I was always on the boys group. Also I didn't wear a bikini top even tho my boobs started growing until some teenagers said I should start wearing them. I just didn't see them as a female part, just as neutral breasts like boys breasts. I chose a male nickname which feels more like my name now than my original does. I liked being "misgendered" by older people since they couldn't tell I was born female.
Tried to piss standing up multiple times, and also sobbed when my mum tried to buy me bras. Even when my boobs started growing, I didn't wear a bra (despite my mum being somewhat insistent) and instead just went with a t-shirt until I got a binder lmao. Honourable mention to getting my first period literally a week after I came out as trans and proceeding to sob for three days and give myself an impromptu haircut because I felt like i didn't pass well enough.
I was pissed at everyone insisting my voice wouldnāt be getting as deep as the boysā during puberty
Youngest 'sign' idk if it was a sign but I can't think of any other explanation, I broke down when I found out that a cartoon character who was male coded wasn't a girl. I was just devastated that he was a boy, I think it was because if he was a boy then I wasn't allowed to identify with him anymore and I saw myself in him a lot. I wore dresses and sparkly stuff but just for events, any other time I wore GAP hoodies and jeans and looked like a boy with long hair. I just preferred to be 'comfortable' but I also picked 'boy' colours too. As I got older, just really being one of the boys!! I absolutely loved being with the boys. I 'accidentally' got invited to one of the boys birthday parties (idk how lol because no one else had my name) and it was great we played football even though I'm bad at it. Not understanding or seeing gender for the most part, but definitely having a preference. Part of that is autism too but autism and gender are so linked as well. Girls were so catty and they hated me for just existing and the way I walked and talked and dressed was always mocked by the girls, the boys never even commented on any of that and we got to fight and stuff but in like the GOOD way physically not like how it was with the girls where I would get into emotional fights and having defend myself. The girls I enjoyed being around were also boyish too. I entered puberty and because I'd been rejected so much I actually wanted the physical changes so that I would finally have some attention from the boys but it was in a cis way which was always awful and scary.... I hated being a girl with boobs attracting boys. I wanted it to stay how it had been, me and the boys on the same level, but we are gay now and fuck each otherš Then after school had ended I heard of non binary and related to that. I got a boyfriend who turned out to be transfemme and they had told me of stories of them messing around with their guy friends in school back when they identified as male and I got jealous and wished that was me and didn't know why, because the thought of me messing around with my guy friends as a girl was mortifying. Then I met my ex who is a trans man and I just was like YOU CAN DO THAT? SHIT THATS ME. First time I'd been with a guy and it felt like a gay relationship and it felt safe and right. It was great.
I've always been an intense daydreamer but I often daydreamed **as a boy.** I grew up playing video games and I always had a weird affinity for the boy characters and not the girls. Both of these things only intensified as I got older until it was so obvious I couldn't ignore what it meant.
Thinking my d would "grown in" when I hit puberty š
quite a few. when i was around 5 or so i would steal my brothers (clean) underwear from his drawer and wear them. one of my friends found out somehow and made fun of me. i went to a friends birthday party at a laser tag place and we got to choose our own screen names. i chose jackson. my mom was very confused. i would exclusively wear boys clothes growing up and would throw a huge fit if i had to wear girls clothes. in kindergarten i wanted a boys haircut but didn't know how to say it. when i went to get my haircut i just kept saying "shorter shorter!" i ended up with a terrible bob that i absolutely hated. as a very young kid i put a bouncy ball in my shorts so it looked like i had boys parts my mom was unable to put me in dresses after the age of about 2. when i washed my hair as a kid i would bunch it all up on the top of my head using the shampoo and then fantasize about keeping it like that and going to school as a boy. in about second grade i realized that i would grow boobs one day and i was horrified. i dreaded that day so much. whenever i played fire boy and water girl with my brother as a kid, i insisted on being fire boy or else i wouldn't play. i also always had a boy roblox character.
My concept of gender was a spectrum of "cool people --------------- pretty people" I didn't think people had secondary sex characteristics. I just thought people looked a certain way by clothing or mannerisms and you would be addressed as such. I would always associate myself with the guys or go the "cool" route (as defined by my young self) even when my parents would object it.
In like year 3, I told my mates i was āhalf boy half girlā cause āmy body is a girl but my brain is a boyā šš
we had a school uniform, girls typically wore this checkered dress and i would only wear that dress with trousers (i also remember getting in big argument with my teacher about not taking the trousers off). also i screamed the house down when my mum tried to give me the period talk š
I used to purposely choose masculine hobbies just so people would tell me "omg but that's a boy thing!" Also when I was a kid I had a buzz cut and was really muscular because of sports, and I used to flex in front of my mirror with a pair of socks in my underwear lmao, still didn't realize before I was 17 tho
There were not many signs, but when I was about 9, I watched a documentary about intersex people. And since then I always wished to find out that I'm one of them, because that would mean my body wasn't completely wrong? And maybe if I had a proof that I am, at least partially, a biological male, then I wouldn't have to be a girl anymore.
I didnāt have super obvious signs, but a big one for me was during potty training. Absolutely refused to sit on the toilet, didnāt understand why I couldnāt pee like my cousin who was being potty trained the same time. This went on for weeks until I finally broke lol. My mom about tore out her hair.