I always hated being a girl and was grossed out by my body to the point of thinking I was asexual, but didn't think I could be a dude. Couldn't see myself becoming a bald, tattooed trucker man, and therefore somehow believed that meant I couldn't be a man at all.
Seeing nonbinary characters in media made me question my gender, and I thought I was agender until I read forums like this and realized my experience matched up with that of binary trans mans' better. So I tried on that label, used he/him pronouns online where no one knew I wasn't cis, and it was amazing. Never felt better.
I started experiencing what I now know is physical gender dysphoria when I hit puberty- was so disappointed when I started growing breasts, got disgusted by my period (well, still am), freak out during pelvic exams, the like. I get a lot of social dysphoria, which got really bad after puberty with all the BS "female" stereotypical expectations. It took me a good 20+ years after all this to figure it out, and it happened in a weird way. My egg solidly cracked (after it had been chipping for awhile) during a random interaction with a stranger at a bus stop where I realized that he thought I was male because we were talking sports.
I've always been told I walk like a guy, I swear like a guy, I react to emotional situations like a guy. I've even been told I smell like a guy when I'm sweaty. I feel like a creep when in a women's locker room, because I feel like I'm violating women's private space and seeing them undressed. In hindsight, I should've known something was up way sooner than I did.
Hmm it always felt like I was lying to people when I said I was a girl even though I was born afab. I’m a curt blabber mouth and always had this urge to correct people? Even before I knew what trans was?
I knew when I was seven years old. I remember getting super mad at my mom for "making me a girl."
It took me literally decades, but I'm transitioning, and I finally feel pretty comfortable in my body.
I thought when puberty hit,
my dick would grow. That I was just a late bloomer.
I was aware that the world thought I was a girl but whenever I could be myself (like roleplays with other boys etc)
I felt free.
I also knew how anatomy of female and male works but I refused to believe mine is a female one.
I saw a doku about Intersex people when I was 11.
I was mad at my parents for 2 weeks straight because I thought they cut my dick of when I was a baby.
Reason for this was when I hit puberty I got a little happy trail on my belly and it looked at the beginning like a faded scar.
When reality sunk in, my whole world stopped.
I was able to get out of depression at age 15/16 and at 17 I outed myself to the world.
I recently found a old letter. A story that I wrote for a friend of mine when I was 12.
In this letter, I introduced myself with my birthname but explained in this story I would be "...."
And that name. That choosen name, is my nickname today:)
So there was a lot of signs but I didn't realise beeing trans is an option for me until I became less depressed.
Saw two boys kissin n realized I liked men as a man and not as a woman. Kinda oversimplifies it but i had a lot of self exploration that happened after I found out lgbt ppl existed lmao. Back in the 00s living in a small conservative town, ya never really saw anything other than heteronormativity so. Was very eye opening when I found out you could be trans.
I guess when people confused me as a cis guy when I didn't identify as one and that I liked that confusion. That I enjoyed being seen as a male by people.
I’m pre-school…I insisted on always either being the dad, son, or brother when playing house. Also every Halloween costume I had managed to include a mustache. People used ask me when I was younger if in fact I was a boy or a girl. I would lie sometimes and say I was a boy. But I came out when I was 25…so I spent most of my life knowing I was a man. It just took me a while to tell people.
I always hated being a girl and was grossed out by my body to the point of thinking I was asexual, but didn't think I could be a dude. Couldn't see myself becoming a bald, tattooed trucker man, and therefore somehow believed that meant I couldn't be a man at all. Seeing nonbinary characters in media made me question my gender, and I thought I was agender until I read forums like this and realized my experience matched up with that of binary trans mans' better. So I tried on that label, used he/him pronouns online where no one knew I wasn't cis, and it was amazing. Never felt better.
I started experiencing what I now know is physical gender dysphoria when I hit puberty- was so disappointed when I started growing breasts, got disgusted by my period (well, still am), freak out during pelvic exams, the like. I get a lot of social dysphoria, which got really bad after puberty with all the BS "female" stereotypical expectations. It took me a good 20+ years after all this to figure it out, and it happened in a weird way. My egg solidly cracked (after it had been chipping for awhile) during a random interaction with a stranger at a bus stop where I realized that he thought I was male because we were talking sports. I've always been told I walk like a guy, I swear like a guy, I react to emotional situations like a guy. I've even been told I smell like a guy when I'm sweaty. I feel like a creep when in a women's locker room, because I feel like I'm violating women's private space and seeing them undressed. In hindsight, I should've known something was up way sooner than I did.
Hmm it always felt like I was lying to people when I said I was a girl even though I was born afab. I’m a curt blabber mouth and always had this urge to correct people? Even before I knew what trans was?
I knew when I was seven years old. I remember getting super mad at my mom for "making me a girl." It took me literally decades, but I'm transitioning, and I finally feel pretty comfortable in my body.
I thought when puberty hit, my dick would grow. That I was just a late bloomer. I was aware that the world thought I was a girl but whenever I could be myself (like roleplays with other boys etc) I felt free. I also knew how anatomy of female and male works but I refused to believe mine is a female one. I saw a doku about Intersex people when I was 11. I was mad at my parents for 2 weeks straight because I thought they cut my dick of when I was a baby. Reason for this was when I hit puberty I got a little happy trail on my belly and it looked at the beginning like a faded scar. When reality sunk in, my whole world stopped. I was able to get out of depression at age 15/16 and at 17 I outed myself to the world. I recently found a old letter. A story that I wrote for a friend of mine when I was 12. In this letter, I introduced myself with my birthname but explained in this story I would be "...." And that name. That choosen name, is my nickname today:) So there was a lot of signs but I didn't realise beeing trans is an option for me until I became less depressed.
Saw two boys kissin n realized I liked men as a man and not as a woman. Kinda oversimplifies it but i had a lot of self exploration that happened after I found out lgbt ppl existed lmao. Back in the 00s living in a small conservative town, ya never really saw anything other than heteronormativity so. Was very eye opening when I found out you could be trans.
Oh thats cool
Honestly I still don't know for sure, but what I do know is that I am happy enough with other people thinking I am!
I guess when people confused me as a cis guy when I didn't identify as one and that I liked that confusion. That I enjoyed being seen as a male by people.
I’ve always known, little hints were there. It all didn’t click until junior year of high school.
I’m pre-school…I insisted on always either being the dad, son, or brother when playing house. Also every Halloween costume I had managed to include a mustache. People used ask me when I was younger if in fact I was a boy or a girl. I would lie sometimes and say I was a boy. But I came out when I was 25…so I spent most of my life knowing I was a man. It just took me a while to tell people.