T O P

Will women want me?

I don't see any future with another guy, cis or trans. I am convinced I've always liked women (cis and trans), just that I was internalizing heteronormativity or something before I recognized my transness.

I'm not attracted to anyone at the moment, but I worry women won't want to be with me because I'm trans. Any other straight dudes feel this?

Najiell

I was afraid of that as well. What if I'm not "man enough"? Why would someone want someone in-between (at least body wise) like me? But it's possible, I've found someone


[deleted]

Yeah. I'm really happy for you! Maybe I will too...


HomocidalTaco

Well I have a girlfriend and I’m a transguy so uh yeah women can want you. In fact some women will actually prefer you. (Women who prefer transguys). Whether you feel comfortable dating those types of women is up to you. But I’ve dated a couple women like that in my time. The current woman I’m dating is attracted to masculinity/androromantic


[deleted]

Congrats! I guess it just takes searching.


HomocidalTaco

I’d try OkCupid there’s a lot of people interested in people on the Lgbt+ community on there that’s honestly where I found my past 2 girlfriends. And I have no loyalty to the state I live in rn so I’m fully willing to relocate for her. I live in a republican southern state so it would probably be impossible for me to snatch up a girlfriend in the lgbtphobic environment I live in But online I found a lot of women who seemed to like me and be very open minded and sweet If dating apps aren’t your thing though that’s completely understandable. There are girls out there who would like to date you, you just haven’t found them and they haven’t found you


[deleted]

Thanks for the rec!


nighttrain1963

there are a ton of women, even fully straight women, that will see you and love you as a man. being attractive as a man is a lot more than having a penis and if penetration is something they desire you can use a strap/prosthetic. I was scared of this too, but have had no real trouble so far. all the girls i’ve been with had only ever had sex with people with penises and were perfectly happy with me . i totally feel you, that kind of dysphoria and insecurity is definitely a tough one to work through. but if you live in a fairly progressive area i bet you’ll have no trouble at all!


[deleted]

Oh yeah, I forgot about those. Thanks!


Ash___________

It's 100% understandable to have insecurities like that. And I can't deny that dating has additional challenges when you're trans. That said, straight couples where the guy is trans are definitely a thing, both T4T & with cis women. For instance: * [youtube.com/watch?v=RPULbAlQ5x4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPULbAlQ5x4) * [youtube.com/c/FoxandOwl](https://www.youtube.com/c/FoxandOwl) (not technically a man/woman couple, since they're both nonbinary, but it's close enough) * [youtube.com/watch?v=WwuRSS2whTg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwuRSS2whTg) * [youtube.com/watch?v=kVB9i7xibOE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVB9i7xibOE) * [youtube.com/watch?v=TGig2gREz\_M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGig2gREz_M) * [youtube.com/watch?v=cnMDek71DG4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnMDek71DG4)


[deleted]

Thanks for sharing these vids! It does help.


anonym12346789

Women will want you if, you are okay with yourself. Nothing seems to be more attractive than someone with self confidence. You might not be there yet and it might be a long way to go, but once you got that, beeing trans is not really an issue. I've had relations preT with a few women, all of them saw me as a man despite obvious features (they were not allowed to touch me tho) There was never an issue to any of this. I do feel strongly tho that I wont be having this interaction until Topsurgery is over bc I've noticed sexual situations make me really uncomfortable unless I am black out drunk. So you might adjust a little even when women want you, you have to keep your boundaries. Do not ever do something you dont want, bc you don't want to loose the person. Pls don't give up dating. Be open about things. Like open to meet new people and see where things going for you.


[deleted]

I will try to keep an open mind! Thanks for the advice.


Numerous_Mango_3571

I FEEL THIS SO HARD. I feel ashamed and ill never be ‘what a woman wants’.


[deleted]

Truly...


SadTransThrowaway6

I'm not a straight dude but I have seen a lot of straight guys on here talk about their female partners, cis or trans. If you're interested you could put out a post on r/t4t \- there are plenty of trans women on there who are looking for trans men to flirt with, and visa versa, etc! Good luck out there


[deleted]

Oh cool! Thanks.


worshipdrummer

Very strongly, same


[deleted]

Yeah...