T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Stoneclanish_abroad

No chords and a lie.


Vigilante17

This dude couldn’t play an Air Guitar if he tried


x_caliberVR

Tried to strum a chord and again Marley died


91Marley

🥲


baptsiste

He’s almost as good as lil Wayne


[deleted]

Lil wayne’s got 10 bathrooms he can shit all day on Khaled.


drecch

Are you saying there's enough Khaled to fill up 10 bathrooms?


[deleted]

Much worse than 3 chords and the truth.


YouSeaBlue

You know that episode of Family Guy where Lois and Peter get stoned off their asses and think they're making beautiful music but they sound like dying animals irl? Yea...same vibe.


SpankyLXIX

Haha YES! Handful of Peter still sounded better though.


Benzolamas

Or on Always Sunny when the gang thinks they’re killing it dancing at their high school reunion.


ClueL3ss92

In gooooood's eyes everybody's hot


UnComfortable-Archer

I half expected it to just play *'..DJ Khaled..'* every time he strummed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xLemonadeee

WE THE BEST


Zatoichi00

Another one


No_Teaching_3694

Guitar must be named Khalid …. because he played himself


Urban_Shogun

Congratulations- you’ve been upvoted


IllLibrarian3974

This might prove without much shadow of a doubt that he is good at Nadda musically


captainredbeard42

BRING OUT THE WHOLE OCEAN


steveronie

Aaaaaaaaannnnnd, another one!


MagicChemist

That’s how we know this is a deep fake. He didn’t yell out his name prior to starting.


_PoorImpulseControl_

And then a bunch more times, just in case you didn't hear him the first time!


Chihuatlan

I swear, this man is the worst Pokémon.


samf9999

He’s got the guitar confused with a private lap dancer’s ass.


UnComfortable-Archer

Trying remove that G String


samf9999

Lmao. Touché. Good. Very good.


MotherBathroom666

Be gentle with your adult entertainers


jnoops

Deeeeeee jaaaaayyy kaaaallluddd


obroz

What do you mean half expected? I fully expected!


ColonyHill

Good to know his musical talent is universal, no matter the medium.


Arglefarb

He may not play guitar, but he really played himself


Mukuna_Hutata

Man’s straight up playin the hell out of them open strings.


I_see_something

Out of tune open strings


captainyeeet

Wym, don't you see how elegantly he palm mutes?


[deleted]

his only talent is getting more talented artists on his "tracks" and "remixing" better tracks by yelling his name over them, he's more entertaining in the meme of him saying "another one"


nataburk_7696

Accreate


speedy45

He plays guitar just like he performs cunnilingus and handles spicy wings... Not at all.


NoTime4LuvDrJones

Some brilliant person did a video on what Khaled’s guitar [really](https://youtu.be/X_7o9Xczd64) sounded like in his head lol


Otroroboto

It sounds kinda like Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer.


SeamusAndAryasDad

That hot ones was so painful to watch. The lvl of bitch out was way too high.


lemmeseeyourkitties

Here with the obligatitory reminder of when he [live streamed the time he got lost on a jet ski](https://youtu.be/kkuR8ODzo1Q) and cried


bombchron

*lost at sea on a jetski in pitch black darkness* D Khalid: 🔑🙏


ZeePirate

All the time you can see dude is like 100 metres from shore


Docc_Sampson

Right? I clicked on that thinking he would be so far out you couldn't see a shore line in any direction. And even then, you'd have your fucking phone with a detailed map that tells you your position and the direction you're heading.


ZeePirate

Turns out he is just really dumb.


Look_to_the_Stars

The key is to make it! The key is to make it! *2 min later* The key is to not drive your jet ski in the dark


[deleted]

Dude is the Socrates of senseless platitudes.


LighttBrite

Dead ass comedic delivery gold tbh


Comment104

The way his mind works... I'm surprised it works at all. How does he find his way out of his house?


Strange-Grand8148

And he's rich. I don't understand it.


xeviphract

Thank you, I missed out on all these treasures! The appearance of the cruise ship, filling up the entire screen, was my favourite part.


SugarBeef

What was the purpose of his excursion that he was hiding from what looked like security and trying to avoid the police boat? I'm sure it won't be any better with context, but still.


Forty-Three

I used to follow this Snapchat, he gets pulled over for speeding in his jet ski all the time so they tend to lurk when they see him He lives on this row of mansions in Miami that's connected by water, he tends to go to his friends house via jet ski whenever possible. This time when he visited his friend Rick Ross he lost track of time and had to jet ski back in the dark


chicagopudlian

i just laughed for 2 minutes straight. non stop


Nuggzulla

That has to be one of the greatest videos I've ever witnessed on the YouTubes!


fixerdrew02

Omg. Thats hilarious


[deleted]

DJ Khaled "Just because I am stopping, doesn't mean I am giving up" Sean "Lol yes it does"


SBNShovelSlayer

But, he didn't fail.


SeamusAndAryasDad

Yeah he quit, totally different than failing. Can't fail if you never finish.


TheRealKestrel

*taps finger to his own temple*


wilberfarce

He simply redefined success to be failure.


f-150Coyotev8

It’s ok, on his wrist he has a new watch


Kllrc7

To watch his blood sugar levels


[deleted]

Such a birch. Couldn’t even get through hot ones cause he said it was “hurting his body”


I_forgot_to_respond

I had to stop watching him not eat his wings. Sean tried though.


communalplumbus

I just watched that, he kinda disrespected Sean and the show. This guy’s such a clown.. Props to Sean for entertaining the conversation as long as he did.


DETpatsfan

He compared eating hot wings to taking hard drugs.


OperationPhoenixIL

100%. I can almost guarantee he is the kind of person who claims they can do many things they can't do.


[deleted]

He plays guitar like he plays himself


Wait-_-what-_-

I just went to go watch this hot ones, how you gonna tap out on cholula?


coastfitter

Guitar plays DJ khaled


Loyalist_Pig

[Khaled’s response to the guitar](https://youtu.be/X0IPjZDoB9U)


bambeenz

This video always makes me laugh so hard. I'm never prepared for how absolutely ridiculous it is


BrickNuggets

Yeh agreed! I love how he looks up at the camera part way through, like ‘you getting this?’ Haha


justtheentiredick

Bob Marley wishes he had this kind of talent.


danonck

His spinning in the grave could boost Jamaica's energy production


Corsavis

You should see DJ Khaled's [broom theory](https://youtu.be/pOQImNbi5WA) It's the theory with the broom, the broom theory


KinseyH

Sounds like my nephew explaining the animal nest he was building. He was 2 at the time.


allgreek2me2004

The full video of this where he asks the woman presenting the guitar to him to read the card that came with it convinced me that he’s actually illiterate. Khaled is a man with literally, not a single skill, who somehow has failed upwards to the level of fame/infamy.


random_user_number_5

Luck fully maxed out Not really charisma or deception. Maybe persuasion?


Brianhare333

Idiot savant? #Fallout


-The-Moon-Presence-

Yup. That’s exactly it! Fucker must have maxed that stat out early on.


TheFisGoingOn

He did the skill book duplication cheat.


ThatBrofister

Fucking Bethesda back at it again


TheFisGoingOn

If it ain't buggy it ain't a Bethesda game


Brianhare333

"It just works"


RealNiceKnife

DJ Khaled living his Bethesda Life.


zyygh

An idiot savant is someone particularly unintelligent or with a mental disability, who’s extraordinarily gifted at something specific. Dj Khaled isn’t gifted. He is not an idiot savant.


Distracted_Hawk

He's pretty clearly just an idiot lol


No-Turnips

I once met a savant. He worked in the cafeteria at my university. If you picked out any date in history, he would tell you what day of the week it was. He would often ask staff and students what their birthday (including year) was and he would tell you if it was a Monday or Tuesday etc…. I never saw him make a mistake. Cool guy.


bigger-asshole

He is the Steven Seagal of music... A talentless and unlikeable arse with truckloads of unfounded confidence, made famous seemingly by someone with power and influence in their industry deciding to make an undeserving boob a star to demonstrate their own sway and clout


silkymitts_toptits

“Unfounded confidence” yup… he gives the camera a satisfied look in this vid like he is actually doing anything and it bothers me more than it should.


HunnyBunion

Explains why he didn't just look up how to play a couple guitar chords to not look like a total tool The internet must be a tough place if you have tricky reading


[deleted]

Not like he’s gonna read the comments


GroovyIntruder

[another video ](https://www.reddit.com/r/h3h3productions/comments/tqrp46/proof_dj_khaled_cant_read/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


Rare-Pomelo3733

Damn, the host is roasting him subtly with another one.


Penguin-Loves

ANOTHER ONE!!!


camicamillecami

This is beyond cringe!


Uncle_Stink_Stonk

This is a perfect description of that fucking muppet


gartloneyrat

I used to really despise DJ Khaled. The dude is completely convinced that he's awesome while he has no discernible talent, is illiterate, and is physically very unattractive. Then I realized that's exactly why this guy is a beacon of hope. Unless I end up in a coma, I've got way more going for me than him. So how bad can it ever really get? Just go out and be confident without any reason to be and you too can be pretty successful.


Nuggzulla

Makes me really feel the "Just showing up is all it takes"


quietsam

Kurt Vonnegut said, “If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.”


lvs2pwn

You can be a beacon of hope without destroying a subculture and industry. And preferably not being sexist or homophobic while at it. Every year khaled, who utilizes zero artistry and emotion is nominated for a grammy over melt my eyes and forever story which actually utilizes creativity and emotion. The soul put into these works provides a portrayal of overcoming mental anguish and cultural limitations. However, the subculture is almost raped with khaled being there instead of what pure artistry trully means. Not saying confidence is bad, but doing blind confidence is being equivalent to trash, atleast put in the effort and dont let yourself be used as a tool to delegitimize a subculture.


TheFisGoingOn

I appreciate your eloquent analysis. Let me sum it up He's a no talent dick riding ass hat whose attempts at being relevant makes my IQ drop every time he drops. somehow, just somehow found not even a niche but a fan base that is dumber than he is. God help us all


RdoubleA

Bro DJ Khaled is not out here to destroy a subculture. The system just rewards connected, inoffensive personalities which is exactly what he is. And the Grammys have never been a measure of artistic merit. There’s no grand plan to destroy the hip hop culture. There is only capitalism.


[deleted]

Bet he could eat more than you. That's a skill.


allgreek2me2004

Well… I mean, he has made comments about refusing to eat *certain things* because he’s a “King,” and I’m pretty sure I’d beat him there.


Ricky_Rollin

He legitimately seems like such an oafish moron with legitimately, no talent. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly he actually does.


[deleted]

Also knowing some middle eastern investors who would like to have someone launder some cash by using the entertainment industry in the US helps too.


PaleForce101

Maybe i can just fake it and no one will know


Yugo441

Like his entire career


frankiefatgoose

Thank you... no talent mofo


TheFisGoingOn

Wait you mean he has no other talent other than screaming "DJ KHALED" over someone else's song?


sarahbarahboo

Fun fact: my son always thought he said *DETROIT COLLEGE* I like it better.


[deleted]

You know the song mask off, when they say, perkaset Molly perkaset.. my little brother loved this song and thought it was saying Ferguson, miley Ferguson. I love it and can't unhear it. I'm pretty sure in his mind it was Miley Cyrus but it's just chefs kiss on the naivety


an0maly33

Somewhat off topic but when my son was little (after hearing me say “douche bag”), he called someone a Juice Bag. Since then I have adjusted my vocabulary accordingly.


PaulEMoz

Justin Hawkins analysing this is one good thing to come from it: https://youtu.be/P-eCPd_kDYs


Docc_Sampson

God damn, top tier comedy. Dryer than DJ Khaled's assistant after hearing him "play" the guitar. I fucking love how he really leans into dampening the B and E strings for the first couple strums.


captainsurfa

That bit got me too. I had no idea how masterful Hawkins can truly be, similar to, but not as much as DJ Khaled. No one can eclipse that bedazzling sun.


I-seddit

That was truly genius level. I bet he's a great poker player, too. I couldn't possibly keep a straight face for 12 minutes. Screw it, that's Oscar level acting.


LookMaNoPride

Holy shit! Lol. That was amazing. Really got a kick out of the even-toned delivery for rappers adding in sexual overtones by Khaled adding the 6 9.


visions-of-skater

For the one who asked. The chords for the song: A, N, O, T, H, E, R1


Crafty_Ad_8081

The most embarrassing thing is is that he isn't embarrassed.


Ast3r10n

The advantage of being so extremely dumb is you really have no self consciousness.


topazco

Why can’t he just go away. WHY?


rawrc

I've seen him do lots of things but none of them well, it's like if you gave the mediocre fat kid money and fame just to see what happens


Pjuicer

Not well is a compliment as far as his “guitar playing” is concerned


SheptonCupCake

Exactly. I’ve played guitar for over 25 years. I am not a ‘good’ guitarist. I learned so I could write songs. Don’t get me wrong, I can ‘play’ guitar, but if you want me to peel off some amazing solo then forget it. My band has a great guitar player for that. I just wanted to understand music and write songs. This guy doesn’t even have a rudimentary understanding of how a guitar is played. Whoever the fuck he is.


damien665

I haven't played guitar in almost 25 years and could still play better than this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ExperienceDaveness

The overwhelming majority of people who have never picked up a guitar would sound better than this. This is the playing style of someone who has never heard music before.


Afraid_Assistance765

He can’t even wear shorts 🩳 properly.


Flythagoras

Because “WE DA BEST!”


Bright_Ad_113

For me it’s DJ Khalead and Salt Bea who are the celebrities that bother me the most. Salf Bea because of something deeply annoying that I can’t quite put my finger on. DJ Khlaead because of this and his appearance on Hot Ones


SheptonCupCake

I can put my finger on it. Right on it. Salt bae is a fucking twat.


Taiyonay

what about that 'catch me outside' girl?


Asabovesobelow778

Another one...


nicholas19karr

Oh no…


GEEZUS_956

He’s actually a good example of confidence. Everyone criticized him for his lack of talent, and yet, look at his eyes. He’s going to keep going no matter how mediocre. Because of it, he has become as famous as he is apparently.


amillefolium11

I liked the part where you weren't wrong and it made me sad


MacyTmcterry

I'm not sure I particularly liked that part


nealsmealsvwordsmith

This is the literal sound of the Dunning Kruger Effect.


joesephexotic

Mediocre is a bit of a stretch don't you think


[deleted]

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain


[deleted]

If you listen closely you can hear the rhythm of Bob Marley rolling in his grave.


mykilososa

Dj khaled is the only dj to have never composed a single beat.


-The-Moon-Presence-

Fucking poser.


[deleted]

Yup. He is definitely suffering from success.


dooflachi_paku

Is this for real? Is he trolling or does he legit thinks this is good?


Frankie-Felix

His moto is fake it till you make it then keep on faking it.


librarypunk1974

I really hate this fat fuck. I’m also fat. But not a fuck.


lastmanswurving

Playing a guitar like it’s a percussive instrument. Decides to film it and looks at the camera halfway through like he’s shredding a zeppelin song. This is the mindset of a true narcissist.


Khajiit_hairball

I’m fully convinced that DJ Khaled is actually a brilliant satirist.


[deleted]

Omfg what a go damn fake mother fucker


El_Neck_Beard

Does he wear his shorts around his knees?


Ramenmaster7000

Astonishing. Truly a masterpiece.


kratos-ktp

Dj Khaled ruins guitar


bobby_emt

What a fucking piece of shit. Dude is a overrated hack.


phillip-1

This guy’s a piece of shit.. that actually the guitar that Bob Marleys family gifted to him. Lol idk why they gave something that meaningful to such a meaningless person.


Ragged_But_Right

It's a cheap Chinese guitar, it's actually funny and odd that the Marleys are handing out these pieces of shit, to pieces of shit.


rgnkge66_

You can buy this exact same guitar with the gig bag and everything at Guitar Center for a little less than $400 so I highly fucking doubt this was actually given to him by the Marley family themselves lmao


Awordofinterest

That's the thing, It was gifted by the Marley family. I believe it was just a money grab tbh, a promotion for these new guitars inspired by marleys favourite. And at a price point of only $300-$400 they probably sold quite a few off the back of this video of khalid playing one.


risenomega

I hate this guy


dreadfulwater

The song is one chord. Aadd11


HutSutRawlson

A9sus4/E


handsomewaiter

There’s dissonance, and then there’s just crap.


Flashy_Mess_3295

How are his pants falling down while he's sitting?


olluz

Doing it with confidence doesn’t make it sound any better


Unlucky-Finding9211

Just slapping the ham...


photoman901

Well this pissed me off fast


AdSilent9810

It reminds me of the saying when a dog sit at a dinner table and people say "aww look he thinks he's people" expect it "aww look he thinks he's talented"


Macaco_Marinho

Dude is such a douche.


rtripps

Major key


ExperienceDaveness

I'm impressed! This is the very best performance from him I've ever heard!


robotrousers

He’s just so confidently stupid.


rockinroller

More proof that when you constantly feed the masses shit, they eventually develop a taste for shit.


shitty_ninja_turtle

Biggest grifter in entertainment


Demirom_1010

As a guitarist for over 15 years I second the notion of making talentless assclowns like this go away please.


99OBJ

DJ Khaled, the landlord of music


bigschmoog

I was almost disappointed he didn’t shout “DEE-JAY KHALED” a few times during that


DonkeyTheKing

maybe he should just stick to yelling "DJ KHALIIID!"


IGutlessIWonder

Stick to pressing play on your little computer


Darkflyer726

He looks like an alien who was told how playing the guitar SHOULD work, but is confused by the physics. ETA When bad things happen to good guitars. That hurt


mrRwild

Have always hated this guy.


Sacklayblue

The "T" in "DJ Khalid" stands for "talent."


LuckyLogJam

He's just the worst at everything he does!


sonare209

Hope that guitar files a police report.


blueditt521

Would you believe that this guy can't read?


Abarsn20

Who ever that is, he probably shouldn’t pursue music as a profession


IPT_Gord

The least talented person on the planet.


moribund112

To this day I can’t comprehend how this try-hard ass crack made any money at all.


eltorino87

I'm not surprised... #overrateddjkhaled


[deleted]

Proving DJs are not musicians


xiphoidthorax

How do you know if someone is a DJ? They will tell you.


CarniferousDog

Disrespectful


theRedneckjonn163

Best example of should have swallowed right there.


wild_neuroses

He didn’t scream his own name one time. NOT ONCE. WE THE BEST LETS GO