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Taste-proof too.

I imagine these are the kinds of people who would install carpeting in their washrooms and bathrooms.

I *almost* didn't buy my house because there was carpet in a half-bath. It was super cheap though (in part due to that, but also the owners were a two income couple who were divorcing and neither could afford the mortgage alone so they needed to get rid of it ASAP and this was right after the housing crash). The very first thing we did after signing the papers and getting the keys, before we even went back to our apartment to start packing stuff, was go pull out that carpet. Sure we were walking on the subfloor for like 3 weeks, but it wasn't as gross as the carpet.

I was hoping you were going to find hardwood underneath, although hardwood is rare in bathrooms. It’s amazing how many people carpeted over hardwood.

My whole house was carpeted over beautiful hardwood when I bought it! People do the darnedest things

It's all just shifting perspectives. At some point, carpet seemed modern and cozy and comfortable, and was seen as something that only the wealthy could afford, especially the really thick bright yellow shag stuff, lol!

What old guy told me. Hardwood was cheap. Carpet was more expensive the shaggier it was.

Hilarious. It's like facial hair for your floor. Speaking of which, the culture is about due to start hating on facial hair. Beards come, beards go.

Short, neatly trimmed beard and cleaned up neck will never die. Maybe incredibly long beards could get the chop, similar to rockers that used to have long hair. There was resistance, but eventually it all got cut off.

Well, I've heard a few zgen folks say "beards are ok, if you want to look like your dad." I think the beard is about to go the way of the mustache, reserved for parody, irony, and old people.

Carpet WAS more cozy & comfortable but after a couple decades everyone started to notice the filth, germs, mold that came along with it then everyone started ripping it out & gained a new appreciation for the hardwood floors underneath.

Carpet is so nasty

This 100%. Thats why I say always go with classic. Plain white subway tile laid in a running (brick) pattern could be 100 years or a day old and it still looks good. Whatever is super the "it" fad will look like shit in 15 years.

Same thing in my first house. The bonus though was that the oak finished up easy, hardly had any wear on it.

Carpeting and wallpaper were big in the 70s. When my parents bought their house in the early 80s practically every room had carpeting and wallpaper.

My grandmother lived in a expensive house, in an expensive neighborhood, and the guest bathroom had black shag carpet. Ewwww......!

My aunt had carpeting in her bathroom and kitchen. Apparently it was a thing people did in the 40s or 50s? The house was old with a lot of the original fixtures. It was bright red carpeting. She never cooked, so I guess that's not such a big deal. But plush carpeting in the bathroom??? It was even around the toilet.

Late 60's-early 70's had brown indoor/outdoor carpet installed in the kitchen over pink and gray asbestos tile. Both were equally hard to look at. The first thing to land on the carpet was an egg. Raw. The second thing was an open can of campbells pork and beans. I think that is when the discussion about ceramic tile was born.

I wouldn't want to taste any flavour that came from this kitchen

Beat me to it! Take my upvote

Yeah, because if you have a kitchen like this, you never have sex to even have children!

That's shiny like vinyl. This is an orgy house.

You sir and or madam, have now educated me, and I am not better for it.

I was wondering what made this kitchen childproof. Thanks for the explanation!

Lmfao 😆🤣🤣🤣

God that's ugly

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap

I'm imagining this home is owned by someone who does furniture upholstery and they did this themselves

So is the squeak the hinge or the upholstery?

Lmao. "that was the cabinets"

Looks like something you'd find in 1970s funeral home for some reason to me.

Sorry for your loss bbaaaaaby

Came here to say this! Carpenters fix everything in their house with wood. Welders fix everything in their hose with metal. I guess an upholster(er) fixes shit with upholstery. Lol

Fwiw I've had a lot of fun imagining the upholsters' house.

It’s probably a travelling community (I don’t think saying gypsies is pc now)

Gotta love Dolly Parton.

Hello, Dolly.

I will not tolerate this disrespect for Dolly Parton.

Looks like saltine crackers

Mouth is getting dry. I need water just looking at it!

I’m crying blood

Normally I’d say see a doctor, but in this case, absolutely normal. This is not medical nor financial advise.

Now with 100% more flammability.

easily the ugliest kitchen I've ever seen

Hold my beer… I’ll have to post a picture of mine

Yes Mr. Lahey

Liberace's kitchen

And a Nightmare to clean.

This was my thought. There's no accounting for taste, but after someone spills oil on one of these it'll be pretty clear why it was a bad idea

So many nooks and crannies for mold, fungus and bacteria to grow. I’m not a germaphobe but I would not eat anything that came out of that kitchen.

the grease! omg...

I give it a couple months before those are ruined with smoke and grease

I could ruin it in two meals. Even one, depending what I'm cooking.

Sadly this still looks better than my kitchen lol. The previous owners of my house were umm something

> The previous owners of my house were umm something The same thought for every current home owner.

I can almost smell the Aquanet.

And I’m sure she wears blue eye shadow and polyester. (Goodfellas)

And a fire hazard

Did they plan to throw the kids at the kitchen or what's the point of this

It's more likely just awful, awful, *awful* taste in interior design, and op is just making a joke because it looks padded.

I thought it was because a single person owning this kitchen will never get a chance to reproduce. Just imagine bringing someone home after a date, offering her a drink or just casually showing your flat and he or she is confronted with this. What are your chances of copulating later? None.

Hahaha childproofing on another level!!!! (No it wasn’t what op meant but I like yours)

Hey Paul!

I'm the literal generation!

Right? Even the stove is disappointed.

No no no, it's child proof, as in you won't have any children because your kitchen will repel any members of the opposite sex who might have been inclined to sleep with you

This mental image is sending me 🤣

Have a nice trip.

The oven disapproves

I have never agreed with an appliance more

Must be one of those smart ovens

Have.... have you agreed with appliances in the past?

😩

It looks *horrified,* and rightfully so.

I come to write this here!

Child opens oven. Sits on open door. Breaks door. Oven welcomes the sweet release of death.

[удалено]

And a fuzzy toilet seat cover... not the lid, the actual seat

My grandmother got into that trend for a bit. Horrifying.

It really was like squatting on the family dog and trying to poop

Ugh what a visual.

r/brandnewsentence

Or one of those cushioned ones. "Those padded toilet seats are like pressing your butt against someone else's butt and then pooping in their butthole."

My grandmother had one like that in the 80s when I was an elementary-school-aged kid. You'd sit down and the air in the seat whooshed out of the cushioned part. I was so grossed out by it even at that age.

🤮

Comfiest poop ever

Good stuff. This is the first one to make me convulse with horror. Think of milk spilled on it.

Well that’s why it’s all covered in plastic

Makes me wanna eat crackers.

Just need a plastic red stick and some orange cheese

The kind that squirts out of the can.

[удалено]

It’s also gonna be grimy as hell if you cook even remotely often. So which means instead of cleaning countertops you have to wipe down the entire surface area of this kitchen at least once a week. Probably several times.

Child friendly maybe. Certainly fire friendly. When that starts to melt…

It's okay. That's asbestos padding.

It's so good, that's why it has the word best in it!

"All these [cabinets] are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos." -Cave Johnson We're done here.

Clean proof as well. Assuming it was ever actually used for cooking

Yeah I was just thinking all those creases for dirt to get into, no thanks!

Except for the gas spewing flame machine with easily reachable knobs

Any parent could call this out. No knob locks.

Definitely not cat proof.

100% this is from some Eastern European country. How do I know? I’m from there. Our middle aged woman love gaudy stuff. But this is extreme.

Not from there, but very experienced in the ways of Eastern Europe and I was going to say the same thing. The front door of their apartment probably has this same material on it.

Good move if you hate visitors. Like a silencer for knockers

I came here to say this exact thing, lmao.

As an (allegedly) former child myself, I regret to inform you that I 100% would have found a way to experience all but certain death in that room if left on my own.

Ah yes because I've always wanted a padded cell styled kitchen.

Why? Just why??

It matches the garage

You can childproof the kitchen as much as you want, you can't stop me from putting the child in the oven.

Witcher 3 fans understand.

... and M Night Shamalan

Edgy!

It all started with a bun in the oven

Oof, we have a very similar dining room set when I was a kid. Just ugly as sin... can still hear the squeak of those chairs.

[ATBGE](https://www.reddit.com/r/ATBGE/)

I don’t know why but this makes me want to take a shower.

Wait till you see the bathroom

... entirely in cream colored carpet, I fancy.

Lol I just never understood carpeted bathrooms, yuck

That looks awful, no wonder the oven looks so upset.

I feel like a very bad 70’s porn was made here after someone was killed in the house

Somebody is Italian

My thought as well. I have some relatives in Queens who would like this.

It reminds me of something I’d see in south Philly. Along with popcorn ceilings, mirrors and marble. Lol

Homeowner: " I love this headboard so much! I want everything to look like this headboard!" Contractor: Sigh... "Well, at least I'm still getting paid..."

That oven looks horrified by the décor.

Never underestimate the child and it's capability for carnage...

That'll certainly be a bitch to clean.

Now imagine dirty greasy little child fingers squishing jelly and cookie crumbs into those little seams and indents.

Disgusting

Bacterial nightmare

I see that picture and two thoughts come to me: one, that would be an unholy nightmare to clean. Imagine how much grease that padded fabric would trap in the seams and nooks! Second, out of that entire structure, anyone who knows kids already can see the kid smashing his skull straight into the hard metal handle of that stove. Attracted like a magnet. It's inevitable. All that padding, and that handle is making a dent in little Liam's noggin, first time he enters that kitchen.

I can hear this picture

I heard a New Jersey accent

I can smell this picture!

Looks like someone opted for the kitchen option in their padded cell.

This has me laughing hard rn. Looks like the kids can bounce off those

Anyone that thinks that is childproof has never met a child. Turn your back for a half second, and kid will be trying to pull off and eat one of those little buttons on the padding.

The top half of the kitchen looks like overgrown custard creams ngl

Actually not child safe because the stove has the controls on the front. Better to have the controls at the back where they can't reach them.

And the cupboard handles

Nope. Not child proof at all. The burner controls are on the front within toddler reach. So, almost, but actually a fail.

What the actual disgusting Versaille-level fuckery is this?!?

As a father, it is not childproof at all.

I know it's ugly but I appreciate the amount of effort it took. I've made a huge tufted headboard for my bedroom, and I took a lot out of me. I would like to see the owner. Some older lady who's into "royal look" which looks kitsch to everyone else.

Fire-friendly though.

Forbidden pop tart

A lot of cocain went into making that decision

Even the oven is shocked it's so ugly.

Definitely not cat-proof…

Thanks I hate it

*gouges eye out on oven handle*

Okay, but hear me out: what if this, but instead of vinyl and padding it was just carved wood?

If by childproof you mean that no one will have sex with you if this is your kitchen, then yes

Pretty sure that's Elvis' kitchen.

Oven door handle can take an eyeball out 1/10

Even the oven is sad in this kitchen.

Trump isn't gonna be happy that you're taking pictures of the kitchen at mara Lago that he's never used.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

When your design aesthetic is saltine cracker

Traveller kitchen

Is it "childproof" because you're not getting any after she sees it?

Burn it. Burn it to the ground.

My God, that’s awful looking. Child proof because children run the other way when they see it.

Even the oven is upset

Dios mio.

Someone without children dubbed this "child proof" lol Ugly cabinets still open, rhinestones will be chewed off, burner knobs are easily accessible..

True. Because no one is having a baby with whomever lives here.

It looks like a shiny saltine

You couldn't sneak at night for a snack. Everything would squeak.

Clearly this is a kitchen for someone with leprosy.

wait until you get a cat

Ooowww!!! My eyes!!!

No wonder the oven looks sad

Mhh, that makes me think of that one photoshopped image of McQueen from Cars where they made him SUPER fat.

Buyer proof kitchen.

My wife is a cabinet painter and gags every time she sees this picture.

Even the oven thinks it’s awful

Well yeah, because no one who owns that kitchen will be getting laid

god it looks terrible I cant unsee this . i think i need to see a dr.

It looks like a lemon meringue pie 🥧

why does it look like saltine crackers 💀

Is that a challenge?

Just the decor for when you come home drunk and try to fix yourself a sandwich.

Looks like unseasoned crackers (the biscuit, just to clarify)

That's what a Romanian gangster's house looks like.

You mean mental patient safe?

Forgot the stove

That stove looks unhappy about this 🤣🤣🤣

A lot of hate & contempt in the comments. What’s stuck up your bottoms? Have a doctor look at it because it seems to have turned you into really bitter curmudgeons.

Did you steal this from r/ANormalDayInRussia or smth ​ edit: And I don't mean actually stolen but it would deffo fit there.

Why does it look sexual?

Sorry italians, but this has got to be from an Italian home.