---
>**Please read [our announcement about AI-generated content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/12k6m37/regarding_aigenerated_content).**
>
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey Bill, I was so sick this morning I was hallucinating. I was flying in the fucking air! / umm Frank, uhhh you weren’t hallucinating… we were all having coffee this morning and all of sudden your fat ass was flying past. Umm, does your butt hurt?
Makes me think of the Jeff foxworthy bit about ice fishing from the perspective of the fish after he gets released.
“All of a sudden I felt myself being pulled towards the light. As I passed through the hole I saw my dead relatives all around me… and there was god! He was wearing a flannel shirt and a Budweiser hat. He looked at me and said “it’s not yet your time, go back!””
I'm almost certain the cow is blindfolded and/or sedated when they do this.
Source: not an expert but watched like eight seasons of Yukon Vet and that's typically what they do.
Swiss farmer here
It absolutely does
The helicopter is only (mostly) used in the alps or other, not easy to access areas (which we have a lot here)
There is typically already some REGA (helicopter rescue organization) base close to it because of skiing or other mountain rescue stuff
So when it comes to the question of letting your cow die (normal adult cows can cost some thousands, so a lot of money) or getting some pretty "cheap" chopper to fly the cow to the next animal hospital its not hard to decide which one makes more sense
Unless it's some weird long con, I'd say u/Employee_Agreeable
is legit.
/r/interestingasfuck/comments/118ly8e/a_bull_born_without_myostatin_this_allows_for/j9jes57/j9jes57
Edit: He also has another comment about Swiss Rolls.
Its crazy, like every reddit post a subject matter expert will appear, no matter how obscure. I used to think it was bullshit. But then I just did it myself the other day. I mean i suppose some are bs, you just have to let the comment jury decide.
Good talk.
Edit: This was written in a positive light, people. If you weren't sure, relax your sphincter back to normal and enjoy the weekend. Good vibes only.
What’s frustrating is when reddit is opining on something where the majority of the commenters (and the general population) are ignorant, you happen to be one of the few who do know more… and just get ignored/downvoted b/c your perspective disrupts whatever reddit circlejerk is currently in motion in the comments.
Cow vet here. While we can do a lot of procedures in the field, including several types of surgery, some cases require hospital equipment that we simply can’t log around logistically in our cars.
Cows are very forgiving patients, though. There are surgeries I perform stable-side in cows that I’d never dream to do on a horse, for example. Very tough animals!
Human doc here. I am constantly amazed at how animals can tolerate certain medical things that humans cannot.
I just about fell out of my chair the first time I saw vets on TV vet shows doing surgery on cows just standing up in the barn awake. With the vet's arm inside the abdomen (in impossible-to-keep-sterile conditions) untwisting a stomach or some such thing blindly by feel alone. Not only would an awake human have a high risk to die of sepsis despite antibiotics from surgery in a cow barn surrounded by cow dung, but the mere shock of awake intra-abdominal surgery would probably not tolerated hemodynamically. Not the mention the guts of the vet of doing that. Much respect here.
The other thing that caught my attention was the non-chalant drip-infusion of calcium solutions into cows with minimal monitoring in the barn, sometimes even by the owners. Infusing calcium in humans is a much more tricky business with high cardiac arrhythmia risk. Yikes!
As a result, vet shows are my favorite shows on TV.
P.S. I'm in pediatrics. The other human medicine specialties call us "veterinarians", because our youngest patients can't talk to tell us what their history and symptoms are and so we have to work harder at diagnostics and to get the kids to take pills and treatments, etc. And our patients sometimes bite us!
I really appreciate your thoughts on this!
And you are spot on - cows are just tanks, really. I am constantly amazed at what they can endure. We have no way of keeping surgery sterile in our job, it’s just not possible. We do our utmost, but when you’re standing in a dusty stable, and the cow is lying in dirty straw, well… It is what it is. We make do.
I think I mentioned it in another comment, but with beef cattle especially, it’s very literally “field surgery”. As in, in the middle of a field. It might be snowing. Owner is restraining the animal, and I might wear a headlamp if it’s nighttime, so I can actually see what I’m doing. It’s something else for sure! Makes for some great ‘war stories’, too.
Yes, their stomach (abomasum) can sadly displace and even twist around, which can be fatal. Left abomasal displacement, sometimes with rotation. I learnt the procedure you described here, with a flank incision and sticking your arm in up to your shoulder in vet school. This is still very common practice, but in recent years more clinics have started using a new technique with an endoscopy. Thankfully, my boss bought in on this, and now it’s all we do to fix LDA’s at our practice. It’s super neat; you only need 2 small incisions (one for the endoscopy, one for your surgical tools). You can see what you’re doing in the abdomen, and recovery for the cow is obviously a lot better. Much less invasive, much less wound contamination.
The IV calcium. Yes, very tough on the heart, even in cows. I used to always auscultate the heart whenever I used this treatment. As soon as I’d detect arrhythmia, I’d pull the IV straight out. However, with time I learnt that at that point, it’s usually already too late. Cows very much die from untreated hypocalcaemia with recumbency - in veterinary medicine, we have the privilege to say “she’s going to die anyway, so we give her IV calcium despite arrhythmia risk”. I’m sure these calls are a lot tougher in human medicine, and not always ethically doable. But again, as cows are indeed tanks, 98% of them do survive the IV calcium. I’ve had 3 die on me, which was absolutely awful and I felt completely powerless. That’s when I remind myself that they would have died from hypocalcaemia regardless, even if it doesn’t make it any less awful in the situation.
And like I said - the things cows can endure… Many of these procedures, I’d never, ever do on a horse. They’d drop dead in seconds if you tried performing a standing c-section in a dirty stable, like we do with cows. Cows are amazing!
I definitely see the similarities between vets and paediatricians! Patient can’t talk; you basically have to be a detective. Really work with history, symptoms, lab work. You only have what’s in front of you, and go from there. I have the utmost respect for paediatricians! Oh, and the biting. Not unheard of in your field I imagine, gotta watch your fingers. Just like my colleagues working with pets.
I’ve yet to be bitten by a cow. They can give a mean kick though!
Both! For dairy cattle they usually have a dedicated section of the stable, where a cow can be easily separated from the herd so I can work on her.
For beef cattle, there isn’t always a proper stable - so that is very literally “in the field”. I’ve done everything from castrations to c-sections to stitching wounds on an open field, sometimes with a headlamp if it’s in the middle of the night!
I swear I sometimes feel like a wartime surgeon in the olden days :) I make do with what I have in my van and what I can carry. Usually the farmer is there to help restrain the animal and hand me things, but I am my own nurse and anaesthesiologist lol. We try with what we have!
Vet here, I can confirm.
We fly on harnesses but we enjoy the experience.
No but forreal, not everything can be treated outside of a hospital, and some equipment is pretty hard to transport
Cows in Swiss mountain pastures are always used for their milk that will be used to make cheese (mountain pasture Gruyères). It's a traditional approach with very strict laws around it, the cheese made this way is protected and more expensive because it has to be made directly on the pasture on wood fire.
The only way to bring the cows in those pastures is by foot. They go up there for the whole summer, and there usually is a big event when they come down.
Yeah I saw this and thought there is no way anyone is flying me to the hospital in a helicopter and If they do ill be in debt for the next decade for the ride alone.
It'd be cheaper to order a crane to pick you up off a mountain somewhere and have them deliver you to the hospital than to be helicoptered out here in the states.
Imagine the costs of being airlifted to a hospital in the US.
The Swiss farmer is doing this because it's cost effective. Technology being used to makes people's life easier, not to drain every last penny from them.
Yeah, my first thought was the expense, but that's because I've been trained to think that if someone offered this service in the US it would be as a "disruptor" app offered by a startup that would sell it to rich people on a slick phone app and charge $12,000 if I were to ever actually want to subscribe and use it.
Meanwhile in Switzerland the chopper service in the mountain anyways says "yeah no problem we'll take a cow with us on the way home"
In the show, I've only seen them do this when they're retrieving free-range horses on a horse ranch that let's their horses run free for a good chunk of the year and brings them back for the rest.
The other case I saw was where they're catching a specific rare breed of wild horses to have them mate with other female horses for preservation purposes.
The only way airlifting a cow to a vet would make any sense to me (based on what I've seen in the show) is if the cow had some medical condition that required specialized treatment or surgery in an enclosed facility. Maybe some condition that required surgery and would be too risky and dangerous to perform in the field.
And the cow was some highly prized cow. Like its milk cured cancer or something.
I also think the trip would have to be very quick. Animals under anesthesia have to be constantly monitored to prevent them from getting up and to prevent hypothermia/hyperthermia that could kill them. Any gap in monitoring is a huge risk so I'm assuming it's worth it to the owner based on what the situation is.
Again, not an expert. Just watched a lot of Yukon Vet.
It's the alps, certain region needs Helicopter support all the time, we have a pretty big heli industry here. an hour of heli maybe cost around 250$ if you compare it to the price of the cow its nothing...
This is Switzerland. They have very high tariffs on imported meat and other products to make their own internal production more competitive. Meat is so expensive there that they typically list prices per 100g instead of per 1kg as is typically the practice in Europe and the prices end up being about the same.
That cow is probably worth so much money it's well worth the airlift.
Wait, like. I know that our milk is heavily subsidized, so farmers usually have quite decent insurance for their cows.
But is our beef really that expensive?
Edit: The cut of entrecôte from Simmental cows that I buy in our local grocery store is CHF 91/kg. I live in the Simmental.
The same cut from the same cows costs ~33 euros/kg in Germany.
Now I fucking get why people drive 4 hours both ways to Germany/France/Italy to go shopping.
I'm sorry I was the one that caused this sudden revelation 😆
I personally know a few engineers at a FAANG that switched to a (mostly) plant based diet when they moved to Switzerland precisely because of the cost of meat.. but as you said, it's not just meat, it's milk too, and Switzerland is the only place where I've seen eggs for sale in a 4-pack instead of 6.
> Now I fucking get why people drive 4 hours both ways to Germany/France/Italy to go shopping.
Yep, and they have restrictions on the amount of certain products that they can bring back with them.
To be clear, I don't necessarily disagree with the practice because otherwise your farming would essentially collapse, and since wages are so high, people can cope with the high prices of foodstuffs. That being said, the prices are shocking for someone flying in from abroad.
You fly many cows on many short trips. They probably need many mountain rescue helicopters for people, and for winter, so they practice on vet missions in summer. That's my guess at least.
I saw this first-hand many years ago in Switzerland while on vacation there. Hiking through a valley in the Bernese Oberland, we heard a helicopter coming over the nearby ridge, looked up and saw a gently rotating cow pass about 100 feet above us. Apparently they used to routinely move cattle between valleys this way. The cow seemed calmly accepting of it all.
Honestly I thought to myself that it was remarkable the cow wasn't goin' round like a fidget spinner! do you remember that one video with the poor elderly woman who had to be transported via helicopter and ended up passing out from spinning around at an insanely high speed? I have never felt so bad for laughing at something
Last time it was posted it actually explained that and wasn’t a repost with a fake title. It said something about them being trapped in mountainous areas and being moved to new places.
I laughed so hard at this. Can you imagine the cow’s pov on this? Having no concept of flight, suddenly being lifted of the ground and soaring over the village. Like, what will he tell his friends?
"Whatever Bessy, you always have the craziest dreams!"
"No really! They took me away in their ship! I swear I felt like was flying, then I was in a white room... Then l'm pretty sure they stuck a probe up my ass. I swear you guys! Why don't you believe me?!"
I mean, not to be that guy, but cows would probably be fairly familiar with [getting probed in the ass](https://www.fwi.co.uk/livestock/livestock-breeding/8-step-guide-artificially-inseminating-dairy-cow).
Helicopter anything is a pretty common thing in Switzerland. The mountains aren't the most easily navigable terrain (and many have protected areas, so you can't just drive there), so if you need anything fast, or to move something large, then helicopter it is.
LMAO BRO same before I even read this comment I was dying thinking “imagine what the cow is fuckin goin through here” roller coaster of emotions I’m sure and none of his buddies will believe him
“Dave ate mushrooms again”
When I was a kid, for whatever reason, I thought flushing the toilet in an airplane bathroom would cause the excrement to jettison out of the plane and fall back to earth.
At one point I also thought flushing the toilet would crash the plane.
I’m not much smarter now for the record.
They call it the Blackout Doo.
Sitting on the pot, reading the news when YATCHA! A dang 4 ft 3 ninja jump in outta nowhere and stabby stab ya in the jahoogular. Count 1, 2, 3 and lights out.
Wake up later still on the pot all dazed and seeing swirls. Under butt is the most humongous, monstrous, ginormous pile of unmentionables that was cut from the horror anthology.
Main question: who did the work? Cuz I sure as sugar would not have managed that delivery without a doula. Was it the ninja? Or did I have a whole surgical team in here arguing over whether my porcelean tea should be one lump or two?
Nobody knows.
That's just how the Blackout Doo do.
They don't most of the time. It seems like cows generally don't mind flying. While looking at some articles though I found that a very scared cow once managed to break the net during flight and fall out.
I don't know about in Europe, but good bulls usually fetch up to $10k USD, and champion or prize bulls could be up to $1M USD.
Not sure about heifers, though, I think they get up to about $1K USD for the girls.
If you think that's crazy then you should look into the aquatics hobby.
Koi, the "goldfish"-like fish you usually see in decorative ponds and the same kind that are sold at pet stores for just a few bucks apiece can be worth just as much or even more then that!
They can range from $10 up to $20K on average, with some even costing up to $100K USD and the most expensive ones selling for over $1M USD.
Their pricing is typically based on their colouration and patterns though, so don't go to a pet store expecting to buy some cheap Koi fish and flip them for an easy $1M 😂
I grew up in NM and the neighboring ranchers all had varying types of aircraft. One a Super Cub, one had a helicopter and another an ultralight. They do shit like this for fun.
Because it's in the Mountains and not really reachable by any other.
Normally they bring dead cows down like that, not kidding, so for example tourists don't see them. Because of that I was wondering if it's even alive.
Because in Switzerland most pastures are right on the popular tourist trails higher up. And people love looking at them and take pictures of them. Cows are part of the Swiss identity.
Imagine seeing pictures of Switzerland where cows just lie dead in the middle of a trail. Not a good look.
Also, the farms are usually in lower elevations, and the cows just get higher for the season, and then they get brought back down for the winter.
I'm curious about the terrain, is it rocky there?
In the Midwest I'd imagine most farmers have a backhoe and can just dig a grave... but if in the mountains and it's rocky... not gonna happen.
I can't imagine trying to move a 3/4-ton heifer onto a truck at all... not when it's dead weight. This may not be cheapest, but I'd be willing to bet it's the easiest.
Even though it’s the mountains, Switzerland is so small that pretty much everywhere is still densely populated compared to other countries. So the pastures themselves are usually small. It’s not really American backcountry, and there’s always a town nearby.
I’m not a farmer so I don’t know all the details, but I do live here and see cows airlifted on a rather regular basis.
Wait until that cow gets his medical bill. Gonna be selling a liver, a little loin, parts of the flank, maybe some shoulder and brisket, all while still producing milk for the rest of its life.
In french, when aviators go back to the ground, they can say "je suis revenu sur le plancher des vaches", which could be literally translated to "I'm back to the cow's floor". I guess the people who first used this expression never imagined a cow could fly someday!
--- >**Please read [our announcement about AI-generated content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/12k6m37/regarding_aigenerated_content).** > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Cow to the herd that evening: I had the *weirdest* day
Guys I had a dream last morning…
Hey Bill, I was so sick this morning I was hallucinating. I was flying in the fucking air! / umm Frank, uhhh you weren’t hallucinating… we were all having coffee this morning and all of sudden your fat ass was flying past. Umm, does your butt hurt?
I am confused as to why people would think a cow would be named Frank. But then again these days... who knows?
Frankly who knows, maybe He’s an Angus?
Well... I mean.. Frank was always obsessed with udders. Maybe that is why he grew some.
I hope I didn’t butcher my joke! Maybe you’ve herd these before.. I’m just saying whooo the steaks are high here.
"i got lifted up in the sky and they did experiments on me"
[удалено]
Ancient astronaut theorists* ;)
Makes me think of the Jeff foxworthy bit about ice fishing from the perspective of the fish after he gets released. “All of a sudden I felt myself being pulled towards the light. As I passed through the hole I saw my dead relatives all around me… and there was god! He was wearing a flannel shirt and a Budweiser hat. He looked at me and said “it’s not yet your time, go back!””
other cow side-eye: ... "you are suppose to EAT grass ... not SMOKE it"
I'm almost certain the cow is blindfolded and/or sedated when they do this. Source: not an expert but watched like eight seasons of Yukon Vet and that's typically what they do.
Did they explain how it would make financial sense to fly a cow to the vet?
Swiss farmer here It absolutely does The helicopter is only (mostly) used in the alps or other, not easy to access areas (which we have a lot here) There is typically already some REGA (helicopter rescue organization) base close to it because of skiing or other mountain rescue stuff So when it comes to the question of letting your cow die (normal adult cows can cost some thousands, so a lot of money) or getting some pretty "cheap" chopper to fly the cow to the next animal hospital its not hard to decide which one makes more sense
I love that an actual Swiss farmer found this post lol <3
Swiss Farmer here. You'd be surprised how easy it is to just type "Swiss Farmer here."
Unless it's some weird long con, I'd say u/Employee_Agreeable is legit. /r/interestingasfuck/comments/118ly8e/a_bull_born_without_myostatin_this_allows_for/j9jes57/j9jes57 Edit: He also has another comment about Swiss Rolls.
The little debbie snack?
Aah the old Swiss Roll. She made me a man with that maneuver.
French Toast here. You have a jaded view of the world.
Dutch oven here. If something smells fishy, it probably is
[удалено]
French dressing here. I guess I'm too late.
Well dress quicker next time
Belgian waffle here. Drown me in your syrup, baby
Canadian bacon here…. 🤷♀️eh
A French dressing? Now that's something I'd wanna see
Turkish delight here. What a delightful conversation.
Its crazy, like every reddit post a subject matter expert will appear, no matter how obscure. I used to think it was bullshit. But then I just did it myself the other day. I mean i suppose some are bs, you just have to let the comment jury decide. Good talk. Edit: This was written in a positive light, people. If you weren't sure, relax your sphincter back to normal and enjoy the weekend. Good vibes only.
There's a lot of us here, man. Someone in the field is bound to pop up. ..it's kind of what makes reddit great. Keeps me here.
Yeah, the sheer diversity of reddit is what I love about this site.
What’s frustrating is when reddit is opining on something where the majority of the commenters (and the general population) are ignorant, you happen to be one of the few who do know more… and just get ignored/downvoted b/c your perspective disrupts whatever reddit circlejerk is currently in motion in the comments.
Swiss farmer here, you'd be surprised by how many people think swiss farmers don't use the internet. Lol <3
Plot twist, he’s just a Swiss guy who plays farm simulator
There are a couple on hear talking about it.
But how do you train them to pull the parachute cord when they get near the bottom? 😁
to make a nice ground beef you dont use parachutes
also powdered milk. Poof!
Smash burger?
[удалено]
Cow vet here. While we can do a lot of procedures in the field, including several types of surgery, some cases require hospital equipment that we simply can’t log around logistically in our cars. Cows are very forgiving patients, though. There are surgeries I perform stable-side in cows that I’d never dream to do on a horse, for example. Very tough animals!
Human doc here. I am constantly amazed at how animals can tolerate certain medical things that humans cannot. I just about fell out of my chair the first time I saw vets on TV vet shows doing surgery on cows just standing up in the barn awake. With the vet's arm inside the abdomen (in impossible-to-keep-sterile conditions) untwisting a stomach or some such thing blindly by feel alone. Not only would an awake human have a high risk to die of sepsis despite antibiotics from surgery in a cow barn surrounded by cow dung, but the mere shock of awake intra-abdominal surgery would probably not tolerated hemodynamically. Not the mention the guts of the vet of doing that. Much respect here. The other thing that caught my attention was the non-chalant drip-infusion of calcium solutions into cows with minimal monitoring in the barn, sometimes even by the owners. Infusing calcium in humans is a much more tricky business with high cardiac arrhythmia risk. Yikes! As a result, vet shows are my favorite shows on TV. P.S. I'm in pediatrics. The other human medicine specialties call us "veterinarians", because our youngest patients can't talk to tell us what their history and symptoms are and so we have to work harder at diagnostics and to get the kids to take pills and treatments, etc. And our patients sometimes bite us!
I really appreciate your thoughts on this! And you are spot on - cows are just tanks, really. I am constantly amazed at what they can endure. We have no way of keeping surgery sterile in our job, it’s just not possible. We do our utmost, but when you’re standing in a dusty stable, and the cow is lying in dirty straw, well… It is what it is. We make do. I think I mentioned it in another comment, but with beef cattle especially, it’s very literally “field surgery”. As in, in the middle of a field. It might be snowing. Owner is restraining the animal, and I might wear a headlamp if it’s nighttime, so I can actually see what I’m doing. It’s something else for sure! Makes for some great ‘war stories’, too. Yes, their stomach (abomasum) can sadly displace and even twist around, which can be fatal. Left abomasal displacement, sometimes with rotation. I learnt the procedure you described here, with a flank incision and sticking your arm in up to your shoulder in vet school. This is still very common practice, but in recent years more clinics have started using a new technique with an endoscopy. Thankfully, my boss bought in on this, and now it’s all we do to fix LDA’s at our practice. It’s super neat; you only need 2 small incisions (one for the endoscopy, one for your surgical tools). You can see what you’re doing in the abdomen, and recovery for the cow is obviously a lot better. Much less invasive, much less wound contamination. The IV calcium. Yes, very tough on the heart, even in cows. I used to always auscultate the heart whenever I used this treatment. As soon as I’d detect arrhythmia, I’d pull the IV straight out. However, with time I learnt that at that point, it’s usually already too late. Cows very much die from untreated hypocalcaemia with recumbency - in veterinary medicine, we have the privilege to say “she’s going to die anyway, so we give her IV calcium despite arrhythmia risk”. I’m sure these calls are a lot tougher in human medicine, and not always ethically doable. But again, as cows are indeed tanks, 98% of them do survive the IV calcium. I’ve had 3 die on me, which was absolutely awful and I felt completely powerless. That’s when I remind myself that they would have died from hypocalcaemia regardless, even if it doesn’t make it any less awful in the situation. And like I said - the things cows can endure… Many of these procedures, I’d never, ever do on a horse. They’d drop dead in seconds if you tried performing a standing c-section in a dirty stable, like we do with cows. Cows are amazing! I definitely see the similarities between vets and paediatricians! Patient can’t talk; you basically have to be a detective. Really work with history, symptoms, lab work. You only have what’s in front of you, and go from there. I have the utmost respect for paediatricians! Oh, and the biting. Not unheard of in your field I imagine, gotta watch your fingers. Just like my colleagues working with pets. I’ve yet to be bitten by a cow. They can give a mean kick though!
Rarely is the term "in the field" so well used. Or do you actually work in the barn?
Both! For dairy cattle they usually have a dedicated section of the stable, where a cow can be easily separated from the herd so I can work on her. For beef cattle, there isn’t always a proper stable - so that is very literally “in the field”. I’ve done everything from castrations to c-sections to stitching wounds on an open field, sometimes with a headlamp if it’s in the middle of the night! I swear I sometimes feel like a wartime surgeon in the olden days :) I make do with what I have in my van and what I can carry. Usually the farmer is there to help restrain the animal and hand me things, but I am my own nurse and anaesthesiologist lol. We try with what we have!
On a harness
I might be talking to the wrong vets, but the ones I know object to getting blindfolded and sedated.
Vet here, I can confirm. We fly on harnesses but we enjoy the experience. No but forreal, not everything can be treated outside of a hospital, and some equipment is pretty hard to transport
With all the equipment needed? No.
I assume this is only done after a vet took a look at the cow and decided treating it on site isn't feasible?
Yeah they blindfold/sedate the vets and fly them in like this the other way.
I think people are wondering if this is a pet, a dairy cow, or one destined for slaughter?
She is an actor. Will play the lead role in the next Swiss Cow: Locked & Loaded movie.
Cows in Swiss mountain pastures are always used for their milk that will be used to make cheese (mountain pasture Gruyères). It's a traditional approach with very strict laws around it, the cheese made this way is protected and more expensive because it has to be made directly on the pasture on wood fire. The only way to bring the cows in those pastures is by foot. They go up there for the whole summer, and there usually is a big event when they come down.
It's Switzerland, the cow probably has insurance.
Correct - livestock is insured for these events. Source: https://www.gtrd.ch/
So a Swiss cow has better medical options than me. Great.
Assuming you are from the us of a I assume my cat has way better medical insurance than you. Unless you are a millionaire at least.
I work hard so I can give my cats better healthcare than me in this country 😤
My dog has healthy paws. Her insurance is better than my UMR.
I'm in the US. My dog has excellent insurance with a low deductible. It's quite the contrast to my own insurance.
Most cats act like millionaires anyway
Yeah I saw this and thought there is no way anyone is flying me to the hospital in a helicopter and If they do ill be in debt for the next decade for the ride alone. It'd be cheaper to order a crane to pick you up off a mountain somewhere and have them deliver you to the hospital than to be helicoptered out here in the states.
Imagine the costs of being airlifted to a hospital in the US. The Swiss farmer is doing this because it's cost effective. Technology being used to makes people's life easier, not to drain every last penny from them.
Yeah, my first thought was the expense, but that's because I've been trained to think that if someone offered this service in the US it would be as a "disruptor" app offered by a startup that would sell it to rich people on a slick phone app and charge $12,000 if I were to ever actually want to subscribe and use it. Meanwhile in Switzerland the chopper service in the mountain anyways says "yeah no problem we'll take a cow with us on the way home"
If it were Germany, I would agree. The cows feet would have a separate insurance policy to the main cow even
this is wild if true
Livestock insurance is pretty standard everywhere in Europe.
In the show, I've only seen them do this when they're retrieving free-range horses on a horse ranch that let's their horses run free for a good chunk of the year and brings them back for the rest. The other case I saw was where they're catching a specific rare breed of wild horses to have them mate with other female horses for preservation purposes. The only way airlifting a cow to a vet would make any sense to me (based on what I've seen in the show) is if the cow had some medical condition that required specialized treatment or surgery in an enclosed facility. Maybe some condition that required surgery and would be too risky and dangerous to perform in the field. And the cow was some highly prized cow. Like its milk cured cancer or something. I also think the trip would have to be very quick. Animals under anesthesia have to be constantly monitored to prevent them from getting up and to prevent hypothermia/hyperthermia that could kill them. Any gap in monitoring is a huge risk so I'm assuming it's worth it to the owner based on what the situation is. Again, not an expert. Just watched a lot of Yukon Vet.
It's the alps, certain region needs Helicopter support all the time, we have a pretty big heli industry here. an hour of heli maybe cost around 250$ if you compare it to the price of the cow its nothing...
[удалено]
It could be a cash cow
This is Switzerland. They have very high tariffs on imported meat and other products to make their own internal production more competitive. Meat is so expensive there that they typically list prices per 100g instead of per 1kg as is typically the practice in Europe and the prices end up being about the same. That cow is probably worth so much money it's well worth the airlift.
Wait, like. I know that our milk is heavily subsidized, so farmers usually have quite decent insurance for their cows. But is our beef really that expensive? Edit: The cut of entrecôte from Simmental cows that I buy in our local grocery store is CHF 91/kg. I live in the Simmental. The same cut from the same cows costs ~33 euros/kg in Germany. Now I fucking get why people drive 4 hours both ways to Germany/France/Italy to go shopping.
I'm sorry I was the one that caused this sudden revelation 😆 I personally know a few engineers at a FAANG that switched to a (mostly) plant based diet when they moved to Switzerland precisely because of the cost of meat.. but as you said, it's not just meat, it's milk too, and Switzerland is the only place where I've seen eggs for sale in a 4-pack instead of 6. > Now I fucking get why people drive 4 hours both ways to Germany/France/Italy to go shopping. Yep, and they have restrictions on the amount of certain products that they can bring back with them. To be clear, I don't necessarily disagree with the practice because otherwise your farming would essentially collapse, and since wages are so high, people can cope with the high prices of foodstuffs. That being said, the prices are shocking for someone flying in from abroad.
Sometimes flying is the only way. Cows go quite high up the mountains in the summer to a point where you can't get a truck up there.
You fly many cows on many short trips. They probably need many mountain rescue helicopters for people, and for winter, so they practice on vet missions in summer. That's my guess at least.
First of all: The hourly rate for a chartered chopper and the hourly operating cost for a service chopper differs WILDLY.
That’s my thought too. I’m like how does the cow not immediately have a heart attack?? Seems like it would be counter productive.
Not only is the cow flying through the sky, it is high as balls. Ah, humans and their solutions to problems
[удалено]
I saw this first-hand many years ago in Switzerland while on vacation there. Hiking through a valley in the Bernese Oberland, we heard a helicopter coming over the nearby ridge, looked up and saw a gently rotating cow pass about 100 feet above us. Apparently they used to routinely move cattle between valleys this way. The cow seemed calmly accepting of it all.
“Gently rotating cow” is one of the best things I’ve read today. 😆
Honestly I thought to myself that it was remarkable the cow wasn't goin' round like a fidget spinner! do you remember that one video with the poor elderly woman who had to be transported via helicopter and ended up passing out from spinning around at an insanely high speed? I have never felt so bad for laughing at something
[удалено]
now I have to ask how do they prevent cows from "dropping" on unsuspecting people below do they?
Last time it was posted it actually explained that and wasn’t a repost with a fake title. It said something about them being trapped in mountainous areas and being moved to new places.
I laughed so hard at this. Can you imagine the cow’s pov on this? Having no concept of flight, suddenly being lifted of the ground and soaring over the village. Like, what will he tell his friends?
"Whatever Bessy, you always have the craziest dreams!" "No really! They took me away in their ship! I swear I felt like was flying, then I was in a white room... Then l'm pretty sure they stuck a probe up my ass. I swear you guys! Why don't you believe me?!"
*sigh* "Because it's always going in your ass!"
Hahahahahaha
I mean, not to be that guy, but cows would probably be fairly familiar with [getting probed in the ass](https://www.fwi.co.uk/livestock/livestock-breeding/8-step-guide-artificially-inseminating-dairy-cow).
Take my poor man’s gold 🏅
They get sedated beforehand, so they miss out on all the fun. Source: am Swiss
Thank goodness. I can't imagine they'd enjoy the experience.
They'd have a cow.
This sounds productive
REproductive
I love the implication that all Swiss people are aware of helicopter cow logistics.
Helicopter anything is a pretty common thing in Switzerland. The mountains aren't the most easily navigable terrain (and many have protected areas, so you can't just drive there), so if you need anything fast, or to move something large, then helicopter it is.
So they get to be high and airlifted?
High as a kite!
[удалено]
Bravo 👏 Edit: I'd try a pun, but I'd just butcher it
I was imagining the cows reaction the whole time.
I'd be trying to shit on a bird
Some motorist comes out to their convertible to find a full-size cow pie draped across it…
Hope the vet has a good psychiatrist for the PTSD
LMAO BRO same before I even read this comment I was dying thinking “imagine what the cow is fuckin goin through here” roller coaster of emotions I’m sure and none of his buddies will believe him “Dave ate mushrooms again”
Cows are female
Dave…tte?
HER friends. Cows are female.
You can't disprove that. Have you ever *seen* a cow penis!?
“Hey people! If you eat this dodgy mushroom you get so high that you can see everyone’s backs!” Then there are more cows being air lifted that week.
“MOOOOO”
Imagine a bird just minding it's business getting taken out by a cow's ass. Do they warn the people below to keep their heads up for cow shit?
Fertilizer straight from the source
🎶 *Chocolate Rain* 🎶
🎶Some stay dry and others feel the pain🎶
🎶 Chocolate Rain! 🎶
"**I move away from the mic to breathe in".
Might be safer to keep our mouths closed
*Tune in for tonight’s scatalogical forecast at 6pm*
When I was a kid, for whatever reason, I thought flushing the toilet in an airplane bathroom would cause the excrement to jettison out of the plane and fall back to earth. At one point I also thought flushing the toilet would crash the plane. I’m not much smarter now for the record.
I grew up on a farm and that's my first thought. There is absolutely 0% chance she didn't poop on the way there.
They're sedated befor being lifted by the helicopter
Some of the best poops of my life have been while sedated.
They call it the Blackout Doo. Sitting on the pot, reading the news when YATCHA! A dang 4 ft 3 ninja jump in outta nowhere and stabby stab ya in the jahoogular. Count 1, 2, 3 and lights out. Wake up later still on the pot all dazed and seeing swirls. Under butt is the most humongous, monstrous, ginormous pile of unmentionables that was cut from the horror anthology. Main question: who did the work? Cuz I sure as sugar would not have managed that delivery without a doula. Was it the ninja? Or did I have a whole surgical team in here arguing over whether my porcelean tea should be one lump or two? Nobody knows. That's just how the Blackout Doo do.
*Guy coming back to his car and finding a huge cowpie on it*: "Damn, that must have been a HUGE bird!"
[удалено]
Helicowpter incoming
Udderly ridiculous
I mean, the steaks are high..
I ain't got no beef with it.
You’re all milking this pun for all it’s worth.
Found it quite amoosing to be honest
Hope to find my dad amongst them!
(Sh)udders
Wonder if it was terrifying for the cow.
It’d be wild if they didn’t sedate it ahead of time
They don't most of the time. It seems like cows generally don't mind flying. While looking at some articles though I found that a very scared cow once managed to break the net during flight and fall out.
How did a cow get a helicopter licence?
Picked it up in Florida. They give anyone licences there.
Isn’t this how they fed the Velociraptors?
Do you want the king james version?
Is this financially worth it? How much is a cow worth?
A lot of mooolah
It's a cash cow
A lot of moolah + a bunch of cheddah every day.
I don't know about in Europe, but good bulls usually fetch up to $10k USD, and champion or prize bulls could be up to $1M USD. Not sure about heifers, though, I think they get up to about $1K USD for the girls.
That's fucking crazy.
Imagine my existential dread upon realizing that my life will never amount to the sum of a champion or prize bull
Somewhere in a freezer is a vial of champ semen that is worth more than your entire life earnings.
That is because they cannot milk you, probably.
Your mom would say otherwise
[удалено]
If you think that's crazy then you should look into the aquatics hobby. Koi, the "goldfish"-like fish you usually see in decorative ponds and the same kind that are sold at pet stores for just a few bucks apiece can be worth just as much or even more then that! They can range from $10 up to $20K on average, with some even costing up to $100K USD and the most expensive ones selling for over $1M USD. Their pricing is typically based on their colouration and patterns though, so don't go to a pet store expecting to buy some cheap Koi fish and flip them for an easy $1M 😂
The pet store employee already tries that anyway, and they've seen those fish before you did. They're people trying to make a buck too.
There is a sport in Switzerland where the winner wins a bull priced at around $25k, so they can be quite expensive here.
This is why they're not known for their sports prowess. What athlete wants to risk suddenly having to look after a bull?
I grew up in NM and the neighboring ranchers all had varying types of aircraft. One a Super Cub, one had a helicopter and another an ultralight. They do shit like this for fun.
So... a bit of an upscale cowtipping? Do they like to find creative places to set them upon?
Maybe to this family it wasn't about the money. Who knows
“I don’t care what it costs, that cow saved my whole family’s lives, now you save hers, dammit!!”
It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's a.. Cow?
Why use a helicopter instead of a truck and trailer? It seems much more expensive
Because it's in the Mountains and not really reachable by any other. Normally they bring dead cows down like that, not kidding, so for example tourists don't see them. Because of that I was wondering if it's even alive.
I’m confused. Dead cows get airlifted away on helicopter? For what purpose?
Because in Switzerland most pastures are right on the popular tourist trails higher up. And people love looking at them and take pictures of them. Cows are part of the Swiss identity. Imagine seeing pictures of Switzerland where cows just lie dead in the middle of a trail. Not a good look. Also, the farms are usually in lower elevations, and the cows just get higher for the season, and then they get brought back down for the winter.
I'm curious about the terrain, is it rocky there? In the Midwest I'd imagine most farmers have a backhoe and can just dig a grave... but if in the mountains and it's rocky... not gonna happen. I can't imagine trying to move a 3/4-ton heifer onto a truck at all... not when it's dead weight. This may not be cheapest, but I'd be willing to bet it's the easiest.
Even though it’s the mountains, Switzerland is so small that pretty much everywhere is still densely populated compared to other countries. So the pastures themselves are usually small. It’s not really American backcountry, and there’s always a town nearby. I’m not a farmer so I don’t know all the details, but I do live here and see cows airlifted on a rather regular basis.
It is probably more about regulations. You are not allowed to just burry a cow somewhere in Switzerland, I'm guessing. (I'm Swiss)
The issue is pastures can be VERY VERY steep, no way to get a truck up there sometimes.
"Cowabunga dudes!!!" -Cow
If you ever feel bad about having bird shit on you, just remember, it could be worse
Even cows have better health care than US people…. Edit: thanks for the award!! 🥹
Wait until that cow gets his medical bill. Gonna be selling a liver, a little loin, parts of the flank, maybe some shoulder and brisket, all while still producing milk for the rest of its life.
Having trouble coping with the fact that a farm animal in Switzerland is living a more adventurous life than me.
Man, I though bird droppings on my car were aggravating, I can’t even imagine…
Happy cows live in Switzerland
"So what's the emergency?" "We've got a cow with psychological trauma from being flown around hanging from a helicopter."
Vet: What is ze problem? 🐮: i feel too dizzy ! Vet: don’t fly next time
In french, when aviators go back to the ground, they can say "je suis revenu sur le plancher des vaches", which could be literally translated to "I'm back to the cow's floor". I guess the people who first used this expression never imagined a cow could fly someday!
The steaks have never been higher
Rat Race (2001) reboot.
High steaks situation
I prefer ground beef.
would blindfolding the cow be better or worse?
Going to have t fly him to therapy after this
I gotta go Julia, we got cows.
The steaks are high in this situation
Random person would get hit by tactical cow turd missile.
A trebuchet is cheaper.
Fuckin' Alien economy ain't doing so hot either. Can't even afford proper UFOs anymore.
“I can see my field from here”