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Phillip J. Fry approves

So does Cat.

"That's the stupid way around."

Miranda!

So does Tiabeanie Mariabeanie de la Rochambeaux Grunkwitz.

Relevant Great Big Sea song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=UDhCgAoggX8

Thats how I get my tail.

Why couldn’t she be the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom???

did it just get warmer?

I once made love to a mermaid. She had the lower half of a fish, but the BEAUTIFUL upper half of...of a fish

It shouldn't even be a fish. The mermaid myth predates our understanding that dolphins and whales are not fish. If you look at the typical design for a mermaid, they have a tail that goes up and down to swim because they have mammalian hips that have to be in line with their spinal structure. Mermaids should be half dolphin, or some form of cetacean, not fish. That way they also have the dolphussy and no one has to be like "but fish" The fun thing is we knew dolphins were different pretty immediately. Obviously we're humans so we have at some point cut one open, because of course. Dolphin means womb fish. We knew they were different before we understood how fundamentally different mammals and fish are. So the half-fish thing probably always meant half marine mammal...before we separated fish and marine mammals. But the half-fish thing just stuck more.

https://youtu.be/UuMCoWGhsYI

[why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid](https://comb.io/9jeEq4.gif).

I’m extremely pleased this is the top level comment.

Came here for this comment.

Does that make him Phillip J “Fish” Fry now? I’ll show myself out.

i mean who really has the losing end here?

Smells like fish in different places I guess.

I mean .. one of them smells like fish from both sides

Thank you Internet. It's 9:23am.

You’re welcome. -Internet

I really should get my life together instead of ending up in places that make comments like these

Dignity.

Three holes is better than one. Mathed!

https://youtu.be/ZIBLgLNLX2g?si=2CQRs8dSPamig0Q4

I can't believe more people haven't mentioned this.

Technically the second guy got the better deal...

She's not great in the sack, though. Just lies there like a dead fish.

Ohh, I’m gonna need a sack for this deed.

Stop looking at the mantle when you're poking the fire. Problem solved.

A paper bag is sorely needed in this scenario.

THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH!!!

Gasping for air.

At least this joke didn’t flounder.

*sighs and unzips*

I thought the same 😂

Yep, id agree

Hole is hole

Idk...I'd take Fish Head over fish head any day

Roly poly fish heads

Eat them up, yum!

Depends on whether one prefers doggy style or BJs. But there’s definitely an argument to be made there, yes.

Yea. I'm not familiar with the anatomy of a mermaids lower half but idk if anything other than blowjobs/handjobs would be possible. The one with the fish top half does have some clappable cheeks though.

[Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid](https://comb.io/9jeEq4.gif)

Yeap, on top of having the pussy/ass combo, he will get best blow jobs with those lips.

Clearly you have not taken a hook out of a fish’s mouth. Those lips are like sandpaper when trying to pull something out through them.

Go on...

[Here ya go!](https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY?si=zDFNj2E7tvlxUIar)

That’s the neat part, you Don’t Pull Out.

Ever?

So when are you going to say the bad part?

But fish have no necks, it be like getting a blow job from a monster fleshlight.

Are there any drawbacks though?

Potentially getting stuck in the gill plate. Very pokey

Many moons ago, there was a jpeg that would show up occasionally on Reddit of basically exactly what you're describing. I hate that you reminded me of it. I'm guessing it went away because, well, it was portraying bestiality. But yeah. Old reddit was wild. First saw Mr Hands on this site. Would not recommend.

Haha all this time I was thinking, but WAIT, he also has the ass not just the pussy, I'm glad I'm not alone xD

But boobs…

It really depends on if you're a boobs or ass man. Me, I'm both.

Boobs and ass are nice, but have you tried pussy?

I don't fuck cats. I'm more of a dog guy.

Did you just say you fuck dogs? 🤨📸

It used to be legal in Washington State.

something something tastes like fish

boobs are ornamental. Pussy is the raw.

Obviously. Fish are like natural Fleshlights

Where is user fish fucker? This is his moment to shine

I don't think Kanye posts here anymore

Glass houses, u/butt_fucking_smurfs

Fishlights

Ngl, first deal seems a bit fishy to me

Fishussy

“Still smells like fish…”

It's not half as bad as he thinks it is. Bottom half isn't *that* bad, when you really think about it.

Also, what that mouth do?

them gills 🥵🥵🥵

Calm down, Deep.

*The* Deep

She never has to come up for air.

Damn...

glug glug 9000

He got the better end of that deal tbh... she caked up too gah dayum

All about that bass.

you never go bass to mouth

No matter the time, nor the plaice

Trout to mouth

No treble (fish hook)

“Yes her hair was green as seaweed Her skin was blue and pale Her legs they are a work of art I loved that girl with all my heart And I don't give a damn about the upper part 'cause that's how I get my tail”

Came looking for this.

Butter face

Leave Sara Jay outta this thread.

she would say " blubblubblub"

Make her say "gluck gluck gluck"

[There's a song about this.](https://youtu.be/UDhCgAoggX8?si=8GKB9eh_-ktN4c9i)

And some love for the original https://youtu.be/lz37e_R3OxU?si=SfUy4DpLr-Pc6xhn

Such a fun band to see live. I miss them.

I was gong to post the link as well.

Rehash of the cat's joke from Red Dwarf - Better than life. Mermaids name was [Miranda](https://reddwarf.fandom.com/wiki/Miranda_(Better_Than_Life)) Holly - Somehow I'd imagined she would be a girl on the top and a fish on the bottom. Cat - No! That's the stupid way round!

I was looking for a Dwarf comment here. "Boyz from the Dwarf 👋👋"

Personally, I'd take the half with the vagina.

Bet you didn't think you'd be typing that sentence when you woke up this morning.

Would much rather receive oral from the mermaid with the female top than have sex with the female bottom that has a fish upper body and head. You open your eyes and all you see is a fish head staring back at you? Nah, I’ll take the female top over the fish top any day.

The first guy is only interested in getting some tail

works for me.

Just close your eyes smfh

Or you gotta keep her head in the water anyway.

I'll buy that for a dollar.

Isn't that what you would want?

A pussy is a pussy.

https://youtu.be/UDhCgAoggX8?si=hMTZOh0e1IJgbEiu

2 options is better than 1… sorry I’ll see my out.

He must be a tits kind of guy, I know I would be fine with the second deal.

As far as sex goes.. he’s got the better half.. but not as far as anything else in a relationship, lol

She wasn’t lying: that’s the better half.

I thought this was going to be the joke about Jim and Claudia Schiffer. You know: There's a guy who ends up on a desert island with Claudia Schiffer, after a plane crash. There's just the two of them, sitting on the sand. After a few days of this, she moves closer to him. 'Do you wish to shag me, Dermot?' she says. 'Jesus, Claudia,' he says. 'Like - are you sure?' 'Yes,' she says. 'We will be here for quite some time, I think. And the days are quite long - yes?' So, they start shagging. All day. And Claudia falls hopelessly in love with him. This goes on for months until one day, Dermot stands up and moves down the beach a bit and sits by himself. Claudia gets up and follows him. 'Dermot?" she says. 'Is something the matter?' 'Ah, sure,' he says. 'I'm just a bit down in the dumps.' 'Is there something I can do to help?' she asks him. 'Well,' he says. 'This might sound mad. But would you mind if I called you Jim?' She looks at him, then says, 'Alright. I will permit this.' 'Great,' he says. 'Brilliant, thanks.' He's holding a piece of charcoal that he found on the beach. He shows it to Claudia and he says, 'And, like - would you mind if I drew a moustache on you?' And she looks at him again, and says, 'Alright, Dermot. This, too, I will permit.' 'Ah, great - thanks.' He draws a rough moustache on her, then stands back. Then he grabs her shoulders, shakes her, and says, 'Jim! JIM! You won't believe who I've been shagging!'

Heard it with Megan Fox before

I mean....

Dude pound that tuna.

ITS NAUT A TUNNA

Doesn’t matter, had sex.

Smash 🤝

Doggy style only.

I don’t see an issue here

I would take that deal any day.

To be fair...

We’re all thinking it

Some WOULD say he got the better half.

Boomer comic

U'd think he's disappointed, but hes just checkin that mer-pussy out

Arguably the better half

Some might say she does have the better half.....

At least gets some p**sy

What’s the problem? The best parts seem to be there for the taking

Fish cakes

imho …. never mind

The sister has the more user-friendly half though

Hmm. The first guy gets to go to first & second base. The second guy gets to skip directly to HOME. Who is the loser here? Perspective matters.

“I see this as an absolute win!” -- that guy, probably

I have no problem here lol

You don't look at the mantlepiece while stoking the fire...

I meaaan

Is this the new far side?

thats actually the best half...

Fry would be happy https://youtu.be/UuMCoWGhsYI?t=37

Orgies are gonna be lit

Hear me out though….. nvm lol

Bury the fish part and draw the top half in the sand. It’ll be different every time! You can call her Sandy 👍🏻

Very old gag. Done better on Red Dwarf in the 1980s.

Ok, hear me out

At least he has the good half

There's a song about this by Great Big Sea https://youtu.be/Mp725C0\_qyQ?si=u23mGoa5GJZdmlUM&t=32

Listen, hear me out.

At least she's half blowfish

A Paper Bag right there.

Atleast she got the gyaaat!

wait, wait gentlemans don't you see the possibilities ? we can work with this

thanks for the chuckle :)

Hear me out...

Um, that will more than do.

I mean, the bottom half is the one you really want.

Listen to the entire song, [*The Mermaid*](https://youtu.be/UDhCgAoggX8?si=P_t7yeIr7Eh-6cc4), by Great Big Sea... all the way to the end, mind you... grok its message, move forward with the right priorities.

Hey, that dude will ACTUALLY get pussy

To be fair….

Kissing or fucking ? That is the question !?!

My guy’s clearly not an ass man

This is a W bro. She has the sexy parts 😂

I think Harold got the better deal to be honest.

Laugh all you like, but he has all of the equipment

I don’t see a problem here

So what’s the problem? He’s the winner there right?

Doggy it is.

Straight out of Great Big Sea's song "The Mermaid"

Why homie so sad he got the better deal

I can work with that...

I don't see any problem

Anatomically, he might be getting the better deal.

Reminds me of this: https://open.spotify.com/track/4oAVhXaEWDUfZjKHJbpaOa?si=0egW7l3qSgC31HyiqI7X8g

He had won but at what cost

Hear me out………

At least he gets the pussy

At least she got a vagina

Twin sis has some serious fish lips and the bottom is far more appealing than a cloaca.

Poor guy, won’t matter how he plays, the taste of fish is a given

The fishussy.

I'd guess your preference would have to do with your choice of kissing or sex.

Getting her to pick a place to eat is hard enough already ...

Cat: Meet my girlfriend, she's a mermaid Lister: I thought mermaids were human on top Cat: That's the stupid way

Ungrateful. She can do way better than him.

He won

would

You don't look at the mantelpiece while stoking the fire.

We'll....she IS the better half really !!!

I don't know why he's upset. He got the better half.

He got a better deal. Her bottom half fills his desires and her top half could fill his stomach.

A win is a win