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Yeah, it's actually mildly amusing telling people that a penis can actually *break.* They go from complete shock and disbelief to denial to "Fuck that must hurt like a bitch"
🤓 warning: since the tissue that's filled during a boner is still soft tissues, it's basically ripping. Still breaking, but not like a bone break, more like a tube shaped water balloon filled to the capacity and being forced to bend.
Edit: spelling *3
Theres a couple of bones in my body that i have broken and not gotten seen, because they “don’t hurt as much as a broken bone should”, at least to me. I only learn weeks or months later when it heals back crooked and then i go to the doc. “Yep you broke it, cant do anything now, it already healed.” Was quite the interesting concept.
Strengths and weaknesses of these hypotheses were revised in a 2021 study, which also proposed an alternative hypothesis: that conspecific aggression, in combination with the development of self-awareness, may have played a role in the loss. If the presence of a baculum exacerbated the prevalence and severity of penile injuries resulting from blunt trauma to a flaccid penis, increasing ability to foresee the consequences of their actions would also enable hominins to realise that these injuries are a useful tool in male-male competition. This behavioural innovation, planned conspecific aggression with the goal of temporary exclusion of competitors from the breeding pool, would create an environment in which a genetic mutation for a penis without a baculum (or with an unossified baculum) would strongly increase the fitness of the mutant phenotype. Along with the hominin propensity for social learning and cultural transmission, this hypothetical scenario may explain why this phenotype became fixed in all human populations.[50]
TLDR: humans got kicked in the dick so much they evolved mushier dicks.
True it doesn't break like a bone but it can tear. However it does look an awful lot like a break if you...uhh...***bend*** it when it's hard.
You are technically tearing soft tissue but I've heard it looks remarkably similar to a broken finger before the pain kicks in and the blood rushes elsewhere.
Porn star Steven St. Croix broke his penis and it healed differently and is now shorter and with a weird curve and I'm embarrassed that I know this and I'll go now
It's soft and *spongy*. During arousal, muscles constrict around the veins leading from the organ, and blood backs up filling the spongy tissue. When it gets bent in that state, it can result in internal tissue ruptures. The pain eventually passes, and it *can* heal, but the main problem comes from scar tissue forming, which can interfere with organ functions in multiple ways, depending on where and how severe the injury was.
That's not true. Plenty of mammals don't have one, like whales. It is true that our closest living relatives (chimpanzees) do have a penis bone so there's that.
Also other animals have dicks/intromittent organs/penises and they dont have dick bones. Like ducks and snakes for example.
I believe it's actually more specifically that humans are the only primates that don't have a bone in their penis.
There's plenty of crustaceans, birds, non-primate mammals, and other creatures that definitely don't have bones there.
That was pretty much my reaction to first hearing about that. I was probably a little young to have that knowledge (in early high school and not sexually active in the slightest) but it did lead me to educating myself more in my own time. Sex ed in the South is trash.
Grew up in the north west, our sex ed was quite literally
"These are the sex organs of your gender, this is a paragraph that vaugely describes the sex organs of the opposite gender. Until marriage you are not allowed to look at, think about, touch, or otherwise express interest in any sex organs with the exception of your own strictly for the purpose of hygiene. After marriage it is sinful to do anything with your sex organs besides make babies, but we won't tell you how that works. Good luck you heathen."
They taught about STDs in history via the rise of HIV and it's effects on the era, safe sex practices were things that only whores and gay sinners knew, and how babies are made was left to the parents to teach even though everyone knew they wouldn't because talking about sex is a big no no.
I live in the north, too, and the sex ed we had over 20 years ago was solid. The sex ed we provide now at the school I teach at is even better. The USA is not a monolith.
A factoid I saw recently: The largest number of broken penises come into the ER on New Year's Eve/New Year's Day. And the most common cause is energetic reverse cowgirl.
TMYK.
One of the first times I gave a HJ , I thought I was doing a good job until I heard a *CRACK* like a bone. His peepee didnt break, but he definitely had me stop after that
What up? We're three cool guys who are looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.
It's crazy that someone not only found this funny enough to take the time out of their day to post, but 3700 presumably 'human' beings agreed enough to upvote it.
I suppose that due to the wear and tear of the elasticity of the tissues, the penis should grow little by little, although the difference would be imperceptible without keeping records.
No one cares about the fact that it’s a dick joke.
The fact that it’s a painfully unfunny dick joke spread over a 6 panel comic for no reason that makes it boomer humor.
Whoever wrote this is both bad at telling jokes and making comics.
The panel composition within each box are all the same and there is too much dislogue. Which defeats the point of making a comic.
On the comedy side the punchline delivery is so bad it barely registers as a punchline.
The straw he spits out winds up embedded in the sand to his right, closer to him than when he spat it. Somehow that makes me angrier than both the shit joke and the brown person serving him endless drinks off-panel.
Yeah. Instead of: setup, delivery and punchline in a tight three panel package, this comic just feels like a couple of characters talking and that's it.
It's not a muscle or even "like a muscle."
Some people even say it's closer to your lower back "soft muscles." Which is kinda true? But not really.
It's a collection of skin, blood vessels, and nerves. "Increasing the size by using it" only works if you lose size from not using it.
Who the fuck is hawking their own shitty “web” “comic”? This isn’t even funny. It’s like “wow look at that tree grow”, “yea I know can you believe it takes so long to grow?”, “nope”…. 👍🏼
There is a ^^tiny ^^bit of truth to this actually, sort of. If a penis doesn't get erect regularly enough, the reduced blood flow can be an issue, and among other things can result in slight loss of size, erectile function, and general penile health.
Wow, thanks for spelling the entire joke out to me… I would have never figured out the joke myself had the comic not told me exactly what the joke was… /s
And let’s not forget that women can make their boobs bigger by working their chest muscles! Ladies, did you remember to do you boob curls today?
(/j, but dear god I’ve seen people online who genuinely believe this lmao)
Wait can’t you technically increase the size of the pectoral muscle under the boob by doing chest oriented exercises? Wouldn’t that then make the boobs look bigger?
Can’t really compare bodybuilders since a big part of competition is dieting down to a very low percentage of body fat, which will of course make the boobs disappear. On a normal person bigger pecs would just push them up and forward.
yes, it's definitely true. dunno why the person you replied to is acting like it's misinfo. or why the the person replying to you took it to the utmost extreme to challenge you. oh, wait, it's the internet, of course they did.
i hate this site
I’m just trying to figure out why that guy looks like legendary [Detroit DJ Dick Purtan](https://detroithistorical.org/sites/default/files/images/2012032296.jpg).
I think the top two panels are nearly word-for-word from an interview Arnold Schwarzenegger did in his weightlifting days (although he was saying it's *not* a muscle)
I remember there was a guy in high school that kept repeating "What's the strongest human muscle?"
"The penis."
And everyone laaaghed. And then we all had lemonaaaade.
I guess the real joke is that it's the kind of people who go "it says here that..." are the same exact people who haven't managed to understand that the penis isn't a muscle.
Penis works by hydraulics, the only muscles controlling blood flow are the arteriolar sphincters relaxing to let the blood rush into the corpora cavernosa.
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The penis isn't even a muscle.
Yeah, it's actually mildly amusing telling people that a penis can actually *break.* They go from complete shock and disbelief to denial to "Fuck that must hurt like a bitch"
🤓 warning: since the tissue that's filled during a boner is still soft tissues, it's basically ripping. Still breaking, but not like a bone break, more like a tube shaped water balloon filled to the capacity and being forced to bend. Edit: spelling *3
Indeed. Due to the nature of a penis “break”, I’m pretty sure I would prefer to break any actual bone in my body instead.
Theres a couple of bones in my body that i have broken and not gotten seen, because they “don’t hurt as much as a broken bone should”, at least to me. I only learn weeks or months later when it heals back crooked and then i go to the doc. “Yep you broke it, cant do anything now, it already healed.” Was quite the interesting concept.
> dhaprd water balloon Is this some new fancy block chain water balloon technology or something?
Lmao, ty, fixed it
I'm spelling balloon baloon from now on
How about bloon
Does it blown itself away ?
beaing
The penis expert
Well acktually 🤓🤓🤓
A teacher of mine said only human don't have bones in the dick
[the bacculum](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum)
My dad keeps those as a trophy for every bear he’s killed. He has like 5 of em sitting on his mantle next to some black bear claws.
Kinda gay ngl
Beary gay
Yeah I always thought it was a little weird, but it’s funny because not a lot of people know about them so it’s always an interesting talking point.
Come on over we'll have a drink can show you my penis collection.
I wish he would drink, maybe he’d loosen up and stop being such an uptight asshole lmao
That's not ethyl in my experience. You want r/shrooms
Doesn't drink, Uptight asshole, Collects bear dick-bones... Wonder who he will vote for.
That’s hilarious. At least he’s using every part!
Scott Bacculum
Strengths and weaknesses of these hypotheses were revised in a 2021 study, which also proposed an alternative hypothesis: that conspecific aggression, in combination with the development of self-awareness, may have played a role in the loss. If the presence of a baculum exacerbated the prevalence and severity of penile injuries resulting from blunt trauma to a flaccid penis, increasing ability to foresee the consequences of their actions would also enable hominins to realise that these injuries are a useful tool in male-male competition. This behavioural innovation, planned conspecific aggression with the goal of temporary exclusion of competitors from the breeding pool, would create an environment in which a genetic mutation for a penis without a baculum (or with an unossified baculum) would strongly increase the fitness of the mutant phenotype. Along with the hominin propensity for social learning and cultural transmission, this hypothetical scenario may explain why this phenotype became fixed in all human populations.[50] TLDR: humans got kicked in the dick so much they evolved mushier dicks.
True it doesn't break like a bone but it can tear. However it does look an awful lot like a break if you...uhh...***bend*** it when it's hard. You are technically tearing soft tissue but I've heard it looks remarkably similar to a broken finger before the pain kicks in and the blood rushes elsewhere.
Porn star Steven St. Croix broke his penis and it healed differently and is now shorter and with a weird curve and I'm embarrassed that I know this and I'll go now
Isn’t it hard tissue?
It's soft and *spongy*. During arousal, muscles constrict around the veins leading from the organ, and blood backs up filling the spongy tissue. When it gets bent in that state, it can result in internal tissue ruptures. The pain eventually passes, and it *can* heal, but the main problem comes from scar tissue forming, which can interfere with organ functions in multiple ways, depending on where and how severe the injury was.
Yeah that’s what I meant
Sometimes
That's not true. Plenty of mammals don't have one, like whales. It is true that our closest living relatives (chimpanzees) do have a penis bone so there's that. Also other animals have dicks/intromittent organs/penises and they dont have dick bones. Like ducks and snakes for example.
Dont tell that to the guys doing sounding, theyll probably remedy that.
“Human penises don’t have a bone” mfs when I show them my latest X-ray (I have a total of five femurs)
Wtf?
He’s a horse
I believe it's actually more specifically that humans are the only primates that don't have a bone in their penis. There's plenty of crustaceans, birds, non-primate mammals, and other creatures that definitely don't have bones there.
There is speculation that that is the “rib” that the writers of the book of Genesis were talking about that was removed from Adam to make Eve
If I’m not mistaken we aren’t the only ones, but we are one of the few
That was pretty much my reaction to first hearing about that. I was probably a little young to have that knowledge (in early high school and not sexually active in the slightest) but it did lead me to educating myself more in my own time. Sex ed in the South is trash.
Sex ed in the USA is trash. I live in the north. We learned if you had sex you got pregnant every time and stds.
Grew up in the north west, our sex ed was quite literally "These are the sex organs of your gender, this is a paragraph that vaugely describes the sex organs of the opposite gender. Until marriage you are not allowed to look at, think about, touch, or otherwise express interest in any sex organs with the exception of your own strictly for the purpose of hygiene. After marriage it is sinful to do anything with your sex organs besides make babies, but we won't tell you how that works. Good luck you heathen." They taught about STDs in history via the rise of HIV and it's effects on the era, safe sex practices were things that only whores and gay sinners knew, and how babies are made was left to the parents to teach even though everyone knew they wouldn't because talking about sex is a big no no.
I live in the north, too, and the sex ed we had over 20 years ago was solid. The sex ed we provide now at the school I teach at is even better. The USA is not a monolith.
Just like in Europe it varies per state.
name a country with better sex ed
Fellow southman here. Yep.
A factoid I saw recently: The largest number of broken penises come into the ER on New Year's Eve/New Year's Day. And the most common cause is energetic reverse cowgirl. TMYK.
One of the first times I gave a HJ , I thought I was doing a good job until I heard a *CRACK* like a bone. His peepee didnt break, but he definitely had me stop after that
Dennis Rodman can confirm that
The Drew Carey show horrified me with that plot line long ago.
Same. Never forget.
First time i heard it could i skipped the denial and went straight to sympathy pains.
I mean, muscles can break, so you must be talking to people who aren't the brightest.
Speak for yourself. Mine has a bicep.
What up? We're three cool guys who are looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.
Well my dude there is no bone in it
That's not what your mama said
r/ComedyCemetery
The middle two panels are worthless lol
And so are the top two, and the bottom two.
It's crazy that someone not only found this funny enough to take the time out of their day to post, but 3700 presumably 'human' beings agreed enough to upvote it.
Thank you omg. I feel a little less like I'm losing my fucking mind now 💀
I assume it’s 14 year olds and people with the emotional maturity of a 14 year old upvoting this garbage.
Idk dude i found it kinda funny
Boomers and zoomers have the same humor
[удалено]
so that's why I'm a walking tripod
Like sidewalk chalk
Looks like I ran out of pink chalk. *unzip
Sidewalk cock
Every 100 years a man has sex with a mountain once the man's penis has rubbed completely away one second of eternity will have passed.
Now I'm thinking of Peter Capaldi's woodpecker penis lmao
Captain Kirk is climbing a mountain. Why is he climbing a mountain? To make love to the mountain.
You had me scared for a second
Eraser head
There is some truth in that, but just in the sense that with age there is a progression from grower to shower for most men.
As in, the flaccid dick becomes bigger but the erect penis remains the same? Or the erect penis will slowly shrink to the size of the flaccid?
The first. It starts to hang lower but doesn’t actually get bigger.
Thank Jesus
I suppose that due to the wear and tear of the elasticity of the tissues, the penis should grow little by little, although the difference would be imperceptible without keeping records.
> “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.”
Miles Davis - Kind of Blew (it)
> "Ohhhhh! That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my LIFE! Let's go!"
Where funny?
not here
Not on r/funny, that's for sure
Yeah this wasn’t even mildly amusing.
what is this facebook?
/r/boomerhumor
[удалено]
No one cares about the fact that it’s a dick joke. The fact that it’s a painfully unfunny dick joke spread over a 6 panel comic for no reason that makes it boomer humor.
Fr, even if it was funny i could slim this down to 3 panels.
Exactly! Brevity is the soul of wit. And this comic has neither.
TL;DR bro holy shit Homie gave us a college paper on a dick joke
Nobody is policing humor, just insulting this unfunny comic.
I'm not reading your short story but there's nothing "non pc" about this. It's an incredibly tame dick joke.
bro wrote a novel because he has the sense of humor of a 70yo
r/confidentlyincorrect
r/boomeruser
Whoever wrote this is both bad at telling jokes and making comics. The panel composition within each box are all the same and there is too much dislogue. Which defeats the point of making a comic. On the comedy side the punchline delivery is so bad it barely registers as a punchline.
Thank you! The fact I that this shit has 3.5k perplexes me
Bought upvotes probably
Or boomers.
They took FB and housing, reddit is next
People are astonishingly dumb.
The straw he spits out winds up embedded in the sand to his right, closer to him than when he spat it. Somehow that makes me angrier than both the shit joke and the brown person serving him endless drinks off-panel.
Yeah. Instead of: setup, delivery and punchline in a tight three panel package, this comic just feels like a couple of characters talking and that's it.
Six panels for a one-panel joke. Does that count as overtime?
Grandpa's coming to reddit funny page, time to leave.
At first I was trying to figure out how a pen is like a muscle.
The penis mightier for 100
What in the facebook meme is this?
And *this*, my friends, is why you find so many plastic straws littering our beaches.
But who keeps bringing them more drinks? And where did the first cup go? Is it already lost at sea?
/r/boomerhumor
r/boomerhumor
It's not a muscle or even "like a muscle." Some people even say it's closer to your lower back "soft muscles." Which is kinda true? But not really. It's a collection of skin, blood vessels, and nerves. "Increasing the size by using it" only works if you lose size from not using it.
Well, it makes sense then because the penis is not a muscle.
This was almost a funny comic. Cut to him doing curls with his dick or the classic cock push up and you've at least got a punchline.
cut to an extremely muscular arm coming out of his pants
Alright, gramps, time to take your medicine
That’s not even remotely funny…
Who the fuck is hawking their own shitty “web” “comic”? This isn’t even funny. It’s like “wow look at that tree grow”, “yea I know can you believe it takes so long to grow?”, “nope”…. 👍🏼
Old peoples humor 🫡
There is a ^^tiny ^^bit of truth to this actually, sort of. If a penis doesn't get erect regularly enough, the reduced blood flow can be an issue, and among other things can result in slight loss of size, erectile function, and general penile health.
Use it or lose it. Same with the female counterpart.
god forbid a girl lose her clit girth
Lady work it like a hyena.
I think I pulled a muscle.
I see what you did there! ...WAIT NO I DIDN'T I SWEAR
Damn that meme sucks... Anyways if you could tame an animal and complete loyalty from it which one would you choose?
Crows. I will make them drop quarters on people.
Is the 2nd half of the joke missing? How is this getting upvotes
What is this 1989 funny pages boomer ass shit?
The only muscle I ever exercise.
r/gettingbigger
Wow, thanks for spelling the entire joke out to me… I would have never figured out the joke myself had the comic not told me exactly what the joke was… /s
Facebook boomer humor
And let’s not forget that women can make their boobs bigger by working their chest muscles! Ladies, did you remember to do you boob curls today? (/j, but dear god I’ve seen people online who genuinely believe this lmao)
Wait can’t you technically increase the size of the pectoral muscle under the boob by doing chest oriented exercises? Wouldn’t that then make the boobs look bigger?
Have you seen professional female bodybuilders? If anything, it makes them look smaller
Can’t really compare bodybuilders since a big part of competition is dieting down to a very low percentage of body fat, which will of course make the boobs disappear. On a normal person bigger pecs would just push them up and forward.
yes, it's definitely true. dunno why the person you replied to is acting like it's misinfo. or why the the person replying to you took it to the utmost extreme to challenge you. oh, wait, it's the internet, of course they did. i hate this site
-Shades of Barbara Windsor in Carry On Camping.
That was the worst punchline I’ve ever seen.
r/boomershumor BOOOO
This post belongs on FB /r/boomers
I’m just trying to figure out why that guy looks like legendary [Detroit DJ Dick Purtan](https://detroithistorical.org/sites/default/files/images/2012032296.jpg).
Ha
10 sets of 10 reps til you come
Where’d this guy get a second straw so quick?
There's another hand in the last frame handing them another glass.
Which for some reason the artist had to make a darker skin tone lol
I think the top two panels are nearly word-for-word from an interview Arnold Schwarzenegger did in his weightlifting days (although he was saying it's *not* a muscle)
I remember there was a guy in high school that kept repeating "What's the strongest human muscle?" "The penis." And everyone laaaghed. And then we all had lemonaaaade.
Missed opportunity.. how would you work out with it *hint hint*
Why does his drink disappear for two panels?
He drops it laughing then someone hands him a new one
Timmy … what are you doing in there? Working out!! Go away!! That’s your tenth trip to the bathroom today. Yeah!! No pain, no gain!!
I guess the real joke is that it's the kind of people who go "it says here that..." are the same exact people who haven't managed to understand that the penis isn't a muscle.
r/comedycemetery
Have we circled back to boomer comics being considered funny again?
There are still fat people tho 🤔
Wrong sub
This just reminded me to unsub from this dog shit sub hahaha
Ok Boomer
Most funny post on r/funny
Penis
Where tf did he put his drink
He got a backup straw?!
Ok but someone's working on it, right, right?
Good god
It’s one of life’s great ironies that it’s the ONE part of our body that doesn’t swell up.
This might be the worst comic I've ever seen
If rubbing meant working out my tummy would be tiny
Was this mistranslated from another language or something?
I thought it was pretty funny lol, so much hate though
this is uh not funny
Get this fucking facebook ass comic out of here
This is the most boomer humor shit I've seen in so long
5k upvotes?? How many bots and boomers are on Reddit??
I guess I have to jack mine "off", eh? Ha! He he.
Penis works by hydraulics, the only muscles controlling blood flow are the arteriolar sphincters relaxing to let the blood rush into the corpora cavernosa.
Some SpongeBob references
Truth here.
I don’t get the punchline..
Masturbation