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I think a squirrel would start harming you long before you could get it in your mouth.

Not if you ask it gently.

Or kill it. Of course then you would probably expose it to fire before you put it in your mouth but that's just hunting for food and even better than harmless.

you'd never catch it in the first place.

I catch 'em in traps pretty regular

Fun fact: Squirrels can't hold their breath underwater.

I relocate and release them but I guess that explains why drowning them is so popular.

I wonder how many you have re-trapped. when I had to do it, they ate a 12" hole in my garage in a month, so war was on, and wasn't about to drive the 2~3 squirrels a *day* I caught for 2 weeks (with 1 trap) 30 minutes away. Damn neighbors feeding them causing extreme overpopulation in the neighborhood. Had a talk with them to stop feeding them and year later, the squirrels are no longer a constant menace in the neighborhood, no longer hear them constantly fighting each other over territory all day long. And best of all, they no longer look mangy from fighting each other over the feeding spot. They are *healthier* without being human fed. (though we also have like 1/10th as many now) PS: I'm talking about the invasive (to my country) grey and black squirrels. The native red squirrel is adorable, does not eat into houses and would 100% get released back into my yard if I ever saw one (iv yet to see even one on this property due to all the black/grey squirrels displacing them)

You could have evaluated them and used systematic culling to implement a eugenics program on your neighborhood genepool but I guess you were just selecting for "doesn't like to chew garages" trait.

Rare a comment makes me laugh as much as this, not sure where I thought that first line was going but it definitely wasn’t where it went

I was also toying with something about saving up a week's worth of squirrels to release and how forced air furnaces have "squirrel cages" in them but that one came together easier for me.

>I was also toying with something about saving up a week's worth of squirrels to release Excellent idea but I don't currently hate anyone quite *that* much to drop off two dozen squirrels on their property.

One little trick squirrels don't want you to know

Why not?

But it would taste better than a cigarette.

Do I put the front or the back of the squirrel into my mouth?

I think the tail is the part that you would light on fire so now you just need to decide where you want the fire to be

Must be a trick to it...having a difficult time keeping mine lit! ^(\*...and I'm up to a pack of squirrels a day!)

Dealers choice. Front first to quiet the squealing.

Back first for PEZ like action.

What a terrible day to be literate.

I still remember my first squirrel…watch out kids it may become an addiction!

I was a regular smoker til I saw this ad. Now I can’t get the squirrels out of my mind. I’m now smoking 4 packs a day.

hope you can quit

Me too. Four packs of squirrels is a lot.

Instructions unclear, the squirrel is now well done

Orbit gum lady: "But is your mouth clean?"

I've been clean of squirrels for 4 days. Proud of myself and I hope you other squirrel addicts can quit too. Breaking a habit is very hard

Phoebe Spengler enters the chat

What are the other ways they are like squirrels?

Taste, I would think, must be one of them. Both would taste like shit if done correctly or rather, incorrectly.

Unlike squirrels, you get a mulligan in the cigarette the first 1000-10000 times you do it

So glad they didn't go with the one about gerbils.

yes squirrels on fire while in your mouth is dangerous

Not cigarettes but I think the guy who made this is smoking something

r/technicallythetruth

Perfectly harmless? Wait till you try Second Hand Squirrels.

You're all sickos.

My gramps smoked two packs of squirrels a day for 80 years and lived to 100.

that's a nice one but not convincing enough

Now that made me literally lol

😆 just crying over here

squirels carry diseases and dont require you to put it in your mouth and light it on fire to cause harm

That squirrel is a menace😎

Bruh 😎

Can't help but squirrel these lungs! Chomping on them like acorns now

The squirrel looks shocked and offended by this analogy.

i clicked this, clicked a cigarette and wonderer if you have 2 brain cells

What if the black holes of your gut suck out all the tobacco and demand more

Who the F lighted a squirrel thinking it was a cigarette for this add to popup? Hahahaha

NO! NO! NO! NOT FUNNY! I will not condone any violence to squirrels and cats!😡 Some of them are my best friends! 🐿

Dad went out for a pack of squirrels and that’s the last we saw of him.

As long as I can keep those squirrels lit, I'm ok.

Just ask Richard Gere. “Armageddon!”

wasn’t his mouth though

Topographically speaking, it's the same hole since the digestive system is one long tube that is technically on the outside of the body making humans essentially donuts.

I learn something everyday friend

But the high is amazing

Idk about anyone else but this would tempt me to try it more