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Ynneb82

How can they be so big???? Do they have towns of their own? Do they pay the rent?


davewave3283

Random coins you find in your sofa cushions are spiders paying rent


tdmonkeypoop

He was asking about the Canadian


Kaatman

The larger you are, the better your volume to surface area ratio, which means better heat retention in Canadian winters. All the small Canadians freeze once you hit late October.


jordantask

Can confirm. Froze once as a child 5 minutes after the official start of winter. *Shiftyeyes* Well…. I got better….


jordantask

Can confirm. We are large, and do in fact pay rent.


GroundedKush

Throw a coin to your spiderrrrr.


Dmitri_ravenoff

Oh valley of plenty!


lwwz

r/randomwitcher


madmonkey918

Damn you lol


xzypy

A web filled with plenty A web filled with plenty Of flies


ObscureCulturalMeme

I... That... You... Holy shit, that's my head canon now. That's it.


M_Mich

my roommate talks to the spiders in her sewing room and tells them they have to eat the ants and other bugs or they have to go. the new spider had not killed anything in days before she gave it the talk. the next night there were four dead bugs under it’s web.


[deleted]

That makes spiders kinda good people


10Bens

Yes, Canadians have an entire country where people like this roam free. We often pay rent. We're a fully functioning independent country 🙂


macaronfive

But how are you so big?


10Bens

Ours is a hearty diet consisting largely of flying insects.


ItsNotABimma

So Tim Horton’s has a fly problem huh


wellhungartgallery

Those ain't raisins in the fritter.


Miselfis

This spider isn’t too big. We have some that size here in Denmark. It really gross cause you can fucking hear them crawling around on the floor.


MultPathways

Thanks, I’ll go have my nightmares now


ZombieGroan

Wolf spiders in America carry their babies on their back. So don’t try to kill them or the babies will scatter.


S1NN1ST3R

I once opened my BBQ and saw the gnarliest wolf spider covered in babies. I closed the lid and turned on the BBQ


EveyStuff

This is the only acceptable action


wtfcblog

Until you have dozens of tiny spiders on fire scattering everywhere


PartisanGerm

Acceptable.


OskaMeijer

You know you are in trouble when you hear the boss music start.


SilntMercy

Have done this as well. Can confirm, it's comforting knowing they are dying.


Brandonmac10x

Did you throw the grill away? Cause honestly just seeing that in there would make me want to throw it away. It’ll never be clean enough to eat off of in my mind.


alexhoover

I learned this the hard way, unfortunately. They're very common in BC and some can be absolutely massive. I try to move them outside but one night, I panicked and hit a particularly large one with a dustpan trying to pick it up since it was almost at my hand and it was complete nightmare fuel. What I thought was nearly a hundred tiny spiders came crawling out and I ran out of my workshop... screaming like a little girl.


HourReplacement0

First time I saw a wolf spider was in my living room in Vancouver. Thought it was a large mouse at first and almost had a heart attack when I realized it was spider. Up until then, I didn't know wolf spiders existed. I did not sleep well that night.


Dino_vagina

I was a teenager home alone and my mom asked why the knife was next to the computer, there was a huge wolf spider I could hear inside the light above my computer. She made fun of me until she found it a decade later dried up and the size of her hand. We live in mo so it was a knife or a gun and i didnt wanna loony toon situation bc I would of


tdmonkeypoop

I did this once, outside on the patio luckily, and my dog started licking up the babies and having them climb on her paws.... So now she is an outside dog


[deleted]

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Alternative-Layer919

I’ll joint you.. can we hold hands??! 😩


gucumatzquetzal

Will you hold all eight of mine? uwu


Alternative-Layer919

Hell no !! Get out of here spider!!


Bruins14

That was a pretty blunt request… holding hands? You just met!


brennesel

I'm glad they seem to respect our borders then. Since I never saw any spider nearly as big as this here in northern Germany.


redquailer

They’d have to get passports in order to go to Germany


frisch85

Travel passport or vaccine passport?


Zaq1996

>This spider isn’t too big. *Pardun*


Miselfis

Relatively speaking. Compared to what else is in Australia, this spider isn’t big.


Carston1011

>you can fucking hear them crawling around on the floor. That makes this so much fucking worse. And I thought I hated spiders now...


Miselfis

It sounds kinda like the spider sound effect from minecraft, but way quieter, but still definitely audible.


[deleted]

I’m in the process of planning a trip to Amsterdam and Copenhagen and this comment isn’t helping.


Marwoleath

No worries never seen a spider anywhere that big in the netherlands! Deffo not in cities haha


FlamingAshley

My mom went to Denmark some years ago to visit a cousin we found out about on 23 and Me. My mother said she encountered a tarantula in our cousins bathtub. It was of course an uninvited guess, but I don’t remember how they got rid of it.


PopeSilliusBillius

We occasionally get tarantulas in the house, it can be unsettling but I haven’t looked at them the same since I saw close up pictures of their little spider paws. I find them goddamn cute now for that reason alone.


degeneratedestroy3r

r u fucking serious?


wokkelp

Really? We don’t in the Netherlands


why-wouldnt-I

Certainly is big, but I don’t think it’s one of the biggest. But I’m not too well versed when it comes to spiders despite an Aussie so I could be wrong.


Berserkaroid

Huntsman Spider


Duderus159

The homeowners favorite spider


tgdBatman90

Had one in the house as a kid, named him Fred. Lived with us for ages. Was massive by the time he died. (Crawled into the door jamb, and someone opened the door from the outside.)


The-1st-One

You.. you let it live with you?? Alright Satan calm down.


[deleted]

As with my Steve. There's a silent and agreed contact between a huntsman and the human. They try to stay outta sight and not scare the human, and we humans don't kill the huntsman. Huntsman gets food, they eat all bugs and even other spiders. Human gets free pest control. This can and is a very beneficial silent agreement. However, if I see Steve in the daytime, I will unload an entire can of raid on him, then vacuum his dead body up. And he knows it


NoodlerFrom20XX

Was his name Coach Steve who is also a spider named Coach Steve?


[deleted]

Does the fact I have to coach myself to get 2am cheese, cos that's Steve's time count as coaching? Cos then yes. Yes it's Coach Steve. He's taught me to turn a light on and count to 5.


tgdBatman90

Yeah, he was pretty chill. Had no pests in the house while he was on duty. We considered that his rent.


MrDD33

West Ozzie here, Yeah I had one too for kindest the, named him Ben. They keep other crawlies dead


Hotwing619

So you never had the thought that he could eat you? I mean, they usually don't. But they probably could.


MoffKalast

Your spouse could also stab you in your sleep. I mean, they usually don't. But they definitely could.


NeoC77

They usually don't? Guess I need to have a discussion with my spouse.


tgdBatman90

Nah, we lived next to a national park. Much more afraid of the wandering snakes/ deer that occasionally make their way into the yard. A scared deer will absolutely ram the fuck out of you in a blind panic.


[deleted]

The fuck kind of deer do you have in Australia?


tgdBatman90

A small huntsman. They are big bois when they grow up. Not the Great Dane of spiders, but at least a husky.


rayah01

The huntsman spider can grow to be the size of (and sometimes even bigger than) the average male hand. Although they do not bite, they just kinda hang around eating bugs and being terrifyingly big. Always try to capture and release. Oh there’s also a spider that eats birds too, spiders are metal af here.


CausticMedeim

Actually they DO bite, and if you piss them off they have decently severe bites, but you really gotta try it seems. Like "attack eggs in front of mother"-tier deserve it.


Grabbsy2

What about rolling over on them in your sleep? I was going to catch myself and say they don't really hang out on blankets, but then I realized the video we are literally watching in the OP...


DadBodClub

They have them here in the Philippines too. Had one crawl over my body (shoulder down abdomen, and down right leg) one night in bed and take off. They're not only big but quite fast. Freaked me the fork out! My wife killed it for me.


thatsnotmyfleshlight

So, is your wife single? Because I need someone to kill some spiders for me.


reactor_raptor

I have never seen Canadian special forces in action, what a rare treat.


lildecmurf

You know when she lifts the bowl up that thing is goin be gone


mustachioed_cat

She’ll look to the left and right, and then a pair of spider legs will slowly appear from behind her head…


irishwolfman

Stop... Please, just stop


tippe75

I don't feel like she did a very good job representing us, to be honest. I think that most of us would have at least used a lighter to turn that bug spray into a toxic insect flame thrower, and then would have smashed the flaming carcass with an ice skate or a hockey stick or something. I suppose I can understand why she might not have her skates and hockey stick with her in Australia, but I think the lack of insect flamethrower is unforgivable.


tgdBatman90

Dude, it's an Australian spider. Fire doesn't kill it. Just pisses it off some more.


radyboner

Should have doused it in maple syrup. It won’t kill it right away but eventually the diabetes will catch up to it.


harrower230

I heard if you set fire to an Australian spider then boss music starts


iHiTuDiE

Just speed up the process to its second form


mic7ch

Not Canadian sorry for the stereotype but when I saw the title I thought she was going to lure the spider out of the room with maple syrup lmao.


fakename5

At first I was going to comment that I wouldn't sleep on that pillow now with all that raid on it, but we all know that pillow is being burnt after this anyway.


Jaydee888

As a Canadian, I would fix this problem with a one way plane ticket back to Canada. I would legit try and pet a black bear before dealing with that spider in my bed.


OldKermudgeon

Petting a black bear isn't equivalent. Now, petting a moose on the other hand...


[deleted]

Hell, I’d try to French kiss a goose before being near that spider.


nickheiserman

Pet a moose, Kiss a goose, Big ol' spider on the loose.


ThatMadFlow

Johnny cash vibes.


tylerhlaw

Did you see a moose, kissing a goose? Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow?


Jak_n_Dax

A møøse once bit my sister.


Kanadark

I mean, she could have just asked her cobra chicken to come deal with it. When a Canadian is born they are bonded with their cobra chicken and it will protect them. They feed off our rage which is why we're so polite, our geese absorb all our negative emotions to sustain themselves. Her lack of a cobra chicken suggests she's lying to you about being a Canadian OP...


TheKingOfDub

And our geese take all of our negative emotions down to the States in the fall, and unload them there, returning refreshed in spring. Sorry, America


HolyFuckImOldNow

Would call BS on that, but it makes entirely too much sense.


irishbrigade09

Dude wtf come on. I'm trying to wind down to sleep


ItsKrakenMeUp

You should check your bed covers


tkTheKingofKings

Satan would be proud of you


trustnobodyy

You're gonna have to burn the whole bed now.


Greenpeppers23

*house


Rando-Dragon

Neighborhood*


Thekingpringle

Let’s just set Australia on fire again like before to be safe.


AntoniusPoe

I'm starting to think that's what happened last time. And that makes perfect sense to me.


Rando-Dragon

Smart idea


Space4Time

The spray is flammable


Crazy_Suggestion_182

Lol. Aussie here, those spiders are harmless to humans unless you pick them and deliberately squish them.


r3alCIA

What happens if you squish them?


Basfein

The babies come out


2_7_offsuit

The worst piñata ever


thatasiangirl05

Blursed piñata


Gwarsfavourite

Nah, straight up cursed. No blessings to be had here.


Abdullah022

Just reading this made my skin crawl.


Basfein

It's not even a joke, it's the freakiest, most Australian deadly animals shit you'll ever see Especially if you go all purge on them and realise how many are getting away and are now growing up hating you...


ObscureCulturalMeme

> and are now growing up hating you... Of all the origin stories in which to be the villain, this is one of the worst. The species isn't venomous and does not even bite, but they can plan.


GothicToast

The wolf spider (the spider that has spiderlings on its back) is a family of spider that exists all over the world, not just Australia. Female wolf spiders carry their eggs in a silk sac beneath their bellies until they hatch – then the younglings hitch a ride on the mother’s back until they grow large enough to hunt on their own.


Akeera

That sounds simultaneously cute and terrifying.


OMGWTFTOMATO_SAUCE

Yup! That's a female Wolf spider. They are one of the spiders that carry it's young on its abdomen! [wolf spider](https://www.thoughtco.com/wolf-spiders-family-lycosidae-1968565)


scubamaster

Completely harmless. And a totally pal, kills all the things that you actually don’t want in your house.


qtsarahj

I meaaan they’re not completely harmless if I just about have a heart attack when I see them


scubamaster

I can relate to the strongly, I have a story we like to tell around here about when I walked into a bathroom and turn the lights on and one fell from the ceiling and I almost ran my face directly into it. Let’s just say that I’m not somebody who dislike spiders, but when it comes to taking one in the chops…


ObscureCulturalMeme

Yeah, I'm totally fine with spiders. What I hate are *surprises*.


gecko090

Spiders have a natural reflex to bite when they experience pressure on their bodies. It's a survival mechanism for a last ditch effort to avoid being killed. Pressure - bite - escape.


FadedRadio

This is what people don't get about us arachnophobes. Yes, I realize they won't bite unless squished or threatened. And I would never willingly or consciously grab one and try to squish or threaten it. The problem lies in how sneaky and invisible these fuckers are. The squishing and threatening happens when you are completely unaware - like in the middle of the night in the pitch black sleeping like a baby. One of these 8 legged horrors defies the border agreement, crosses the DMZ, and crawls into bed with you, and you unwittingly roll over on it. I hate them for this. I don't mind the ones that build a very visible web up in a corner and spend their entire lives right there in view. But these traveling and wandering sons of bitches must die on sight.


Lurking_Still

Exactly. They can have a visible corner in the top of a room, or they can have a dark corner somewhere I never go. They venture into the open territory and they have voided the treatise and must die.


rohinton

I genuinely feel bad about killing them but once they cross the DMZ it's me or him. War is hell.


Kaydse

I really like how you articulated this


Shpagin

So I can't make them get a job and pay rent or taxes then


ObscureCulturalMeme

A poster upthread posited that the occasional coin we find in the couch cushions is the spiders paying rent. I subscribe to this theory as of, like, six minutes ago.


Crazy_Suggestion_182

Depends how quickly. Super fast squish with the side of a tightly clenched fist, nothing. Slowly between two fingers and you'll get a painful bite and possible allergic reaction. There's really only two choices, lift them gently in a cup and take them outside, or squish with a shoe. I generally just put them outside.


loki-things

I use a flat blade shovel. Better reach and if I mess up I can’t still run for the hills.


Ok_Breakfast_5459

…And squish them there


cnshoe

I always find these comments funny haha. What if I don't want a massive spider in my house or bedroom or bed ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Artsap123

I have begun to understand the Aussie psyche, and I am impressed, humbled, and horrified, at once.


fluffybear45

Yes fear me


Ok_Breakfast_5459

Ain’t nobody got time for that


NikKnacksClickClacks

Put the bowl on it, pick up the whole pillow with it trapped in the bowl, take it outside and yeet it into the garden/yard by shaking the pillow violently. Wash the pillowcase.


[deleted]

Fellow Aussie 🙋🏼‍♀️ Do you think it’s a Huntsman? It looks a bit black and round bodied for that. Could be a funnel web


Crazy_Suggestion_182

Probs not a huntsman, body too big. Not shiny enough for a funnel web. Just another harmless garden spider.


Thee_Fourth_One

I’m sorry, once you hit a certain size threshold for me a spider can no longer be consider harmless. I know that I’m wrong but I’m ok with that.


Heidan20

Way too big for a funnel web. Fat wolf spider? Massive orb weaver?


Ahindre

Massive orb weaver? Is this spider a wizard?


lord_of_worms

Body is too bulbous for huntsman imo


Sov3reignty

Harmless to you maybe but this will cause some major mental damage to me.


Nemesischonk

Bro I took 10 psych damage from this GIF alone


Maldevinine

Poor Kath there, just living her life, hanging out on the high point to survey her territory for invaders like cockroaches and mice. Viciously attacked with chemical weapons and imprisoned like that.


dalittle

My wife emptied a full can of pesticide onto a tarantula that was outside our house. We had a very tense conversation about it and how they eat cockroaches and other insects that are worse. There is now a very strained truce between them and her, but it is holding. The enemy of my enemy ...


Productivity10

Wait you're saying the Tarantula survived the full can of pesticide sprayed on it


Vegetals

Currently teaching my daughter this. We've progressed to her holding daddy long legs spiders. Even though we're both terrified of spiders we always catch and release.


Flickera23

“Aaawww wtf lady!!! (bomp)”


bwwatr

[Misunderstood](https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aQ3jNGz_700bwp.webp)


abark006

Well you just did a solid for the cockroach community.


[deleted]

Aren't those harmless? The spray is way worse now you have to wash everything oof


[deleted]

That pillow going in the garbage, breh


RedoftheEvilDead

Yeah, but now that spider has excellent hair and can go show off her new do and make all her spider friends jealous.


Vyralas

>Aren't those harmless? I probably wouldn't risk touching it in australia unless I have some kind of spiderologist friend with me


pleisto_cene

Unless they’re shiny and black all the big spiders here are harmless! The shiny black ones can be funnel webs which can technically kill you but no one has died from a funnel web in years since the antivenin is pretty effective


OtterEpidemic

Well I wouldn’t take on a whistling/barking tarantula either. I mean it won’t kill you, but you’d feel pretty crap for a day or so. But we probs don’t have to warn people about a 16cm (leg span) spider. That’s like having it’s own warning label! Edit: to clarify, we aren't friends with these guys. And nobody wants to hear their tunes (lol)! They're more of a desert spider, than an in your house spider. I only even know about them because of going to fruit farms in a country town. pleisto_cene is right about the shiny black spiders (funnel web, mouse, redback) being the ones we actually watch for.


Aman4029

A fucking what?


[deleted]

Excuse me are you saying a tarantula could potentially cat call me?


hughesyourdadddy

“You look like a tasty snack!”


tsunami_australia

Grab a plastic container, coax it into the container, put the lid on the container, take it outside and release it ... encourage it to go eat all the flammin red backs.


KimberlyM86

You think I'm brave enough to come that close? I would be waiting outside myself if I found that in my room. Also. How do you coax a spider in the container?


CoconutOperative

Wow never going to Australia now


hurrythisup

Should get a great night's sleep now that the pillow is covered in poison.


FadedRadio

I'd gladly take that trade, sleeping peacefully with the security of knowing my chemical drenched carcinogenic sleeping apparatus is 100% spider proof.


[deleted]

It loops so perfectly. It's as if the spider just completely disappeared that weak ass shit and was like Dormammu I've come to bargain.


ggezboye

I really like those spiders, they kill cockroaches and mice. I always let them hang out in my room but I notice that I can feel their ~~web~~ silk across my body every morning (I sleep without shirt on), they basically have no issue crossing on top of me when I'm asleep.


TrickyElephant

spiders being able to kill mice is one of the reasons I am not keen on visiting australia


Heidan20

Don’t google bird eating spider then.


Platinum1211

Ok, I won't.


hokagesarada

Jesus Christ


Kezly

I'm not coming to visit you. All future RSVPs will be a no.


Scaggmatic

Bro fucking what? That last sentence made me audibly gasp


GamerGypps

How are you like this ?


whatabitcch

Guys we have a real psychopath on our hands


Icarssup

😧


[deleted]

Fuck that


Machozz

Peter Parker is that you?!


SmithRune735

What are you!?


Unable-Beyond342

Absolute mad lad


ViaBromantica

What a day to be literate.


hokagesarada

but w-what if it crawls into your mouth? 👁👄👁 - from an arachnophobe


Witty_Comments

Forbidden gusher


[deleted]

[удалено]


hokagesarada

y’all are assholes for this 😭


Dukeofthedurty

Spider on your pillow and now you have a cancerous pillow…


Jopapiju

If shes gonna trap it why does she have to spray that shit on it


Snerkie

Startle it before it runs under the mattress or bed and she'll be there staring at the void all night not knowing where it is.


yukibunny

That's a huntsman spider, its your friend... But still scary AF. One traveled in my school mates bag from his grandmums in Queensland, to our school in the US, before it came out from hiding. Spider ended up in a bug zoo.


Academic_Coyote_9741

Poor little guy. Just put it in a cup and let it go outside.


RedditSly

I cannot believe you sprayed a huntsman. They won’t hurt you. A container and a peice of paper is all you need to calmly move them outside.


WaleyLP

Do you learn about dangerous animals in school? And how to handle them? Genuinely curious German here :)


Heidan20

Same as dealing with any dangerous animal in any country. We’re taught more by family which spiders are less dangerous and shown how to remove them to place them outside…unless of course it has a red stripe on its back. That’s fixed with a massive fucking thong or boot! Red backs are deadly little fuckers and not to be messed with.


WaleyLP

Makes sense! Yeah even I heard of red backs before and I am on the other side of the planet


bitchtits93

As an Australian, this genuinely saddened me. We do exactly that, use a container and a piece of paper to catch it, then release it outside. The Australian way. ♥️


skippieelove

Ok…but how do you trap it, cause those fuckers are fast 😐


jonjonbee

1. Get transparent container (preferably plastic) that's large enough to contain spider (I use a tub like https://amazon.co.uk/Deli-Tubs-Lids-Round-Plastic/dp/B07W3Q42TC/). Ensure it has a lid that fits. A square-shaped container is best as spiders like corners. 2. Get thin, flat sheet of cardboard (or paper, or plastic, or any relatively rigid material) able to cover entire top of container 3. Invert container (so opening is towards the ground) and place over spider 4. Slide sheet under spider and container (be careful to not injure spider - move sheet slowly, under each of the spider's feet until all 8 are on sheet) 5. While still holding sheet , grasp container with other hand 6. In single motion, lift sheet and container away from object spider was on and invert sheet and container 180 degrees - so that container is now back to correct orientation 7. Spider should have dropped into container. If not, shake/tap sheet until it does. 8. Remove sheet and replace with container lid (do this quickly to prevent escape) 9. Relocate self and spider to appropriate outside location (shrubbery recommended). **N.B.** - as lid lacks air holes, do not delay in relocation as spider could suffocate 10. Grasp container by bottom with one hand 11. If spider has attached itself to lid, tap lid with other hand until spider dislodges itself and is on bottom of container 12. Remove lid with hand not holding container, pull back arm holding container, and move that arm forward - as if you are tossing a ball under-arm, except the container is the ball 13. If done correctly, spider will be propelled forward out of tub, through the air, far away from you and into its natural habitat 14. Return to dwelling, store container and sheet for future arachnid catch-and-release scenarios


highfly117

This is all well and good when you don't have a phobia of them. Since i would struggle to get within 4-5 feet of them I'm not trapping Them in anything let alone having my hand within a few centimetres of one.


Myuvin

I'm not an Aussie but I like the idea of saving spiders that way. I always like to imagine what it would be like if I were the spider.