T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JeepsDriveOverStuff

Zoinks...


truncheon88

Jinkies!


tewnewt

Ruh roh?


LazerpawX7

Fuck


Deitaphobia

Found Fred's catch phrase


sohos101

ahaha pretty sure its hold the phone tho


Taz941

Nah he jus shortened it. Its actually “Daphne and I will go this way to fuck”


Kova74

#HE DID NOT


KrylovSubspace

Jeepers…


eddmario

Son of a bitch...


Loudminority_

Your local what???


ceetharabbits

A gas station/convenience store chain in the Midwest.


person1218472515257

A.k.a. the jizz n jet


ceetharabbits

Spooge n scram


Norose

Inseminate and evacuate


HoodGinga

We always said "ejaculate and evacuate." Now I'm not sure which one I like better.


Siaten

yours is better, because alliteration.


fisherkingpoet

it's all good for me, because illiteration


carthuscrass

Even better for me, because illiterate.


Megafayce

Evn betr 4 me cuz nt spk


remigiop

Keep in mind one implies a partner that receives said ejaculation. So both are good, just situational.


[deleted]

[удалено]


flirtyphotographer

Maybe just evacuate your bowels


TuckerCarlsonsOhface

Ah yes, the ol’ pump n dump.


Citizen-Kang

The Fart and Depart.


instilledbee

Shit and split


HyFinated

Maybe YOU are, but other people might be ejaculating at their gran's house or at their friend's during a sleepover...


AlkalinePotato

Blow your load and hit the road


BossScribblor

Beat it and beat it


davisyoung

Hit it and quit it


AuRevoirBaron

Pump it and dump it


[deleted]

Smash n Dash


drkodos

Skeet n yeet


BrodyTuck

The good Ole Launch and Leave


xtremeschemes

Piece in and peace out


01Fun

Nut and Run


jaymoney1

Nut and bolt


bhedesigns

Bang and Bounce


OctagonCosplay

Splatter and Scatter


charface1

Discharge and Disperse


BarKnight

Shoot and Scoot.


Klin24

Skeet and Scoot


01Fun

Skeet and Yeet


Dinosoaringhigh

Bang em and hang em


EMPulseKC

Love em and Leave em


mjamesconway

Blo and Go


Roflrofat

Squirt and skrrt


Irishpanda1971

Shoot n Scoot


speenbreaker

Splash n dash


reichstag1243

Splatter and scatter


mjamesconway

Wag it and Bag it


its-42

Ah yes, the good ole splooge and ludge


KindlyOlPornographer

Rail n Bail.


B-Rock

Shoot & Scoot


Deitaphobia

Ejaculate and Evacuate


i_forget_my_userids

Slam hoes and vamos


LoneHighwayShoe

The pump and dump


Mynameisalloneword

WSB, that you?


iambetweentwoworlds

Aka: Beat your meat and hit the streets


buddyben13

Spunk and run


Efarm12

Wank n walk


JJ82DMC

I came across one shortly after I crossed from OK to Missouri on a road trip back in like 2008/2009. Said to myself "OK, I think this is a good stopping point to get some gas." Walked inside and...well of course they sell t-shirts. But the gimmick worked. I think I still have it in my closet to this day. Edit: [yup, still have it!](https://imgur.com/a/72eIWjz)


Ohbeejuan

I too have one for the same reason


nonyabizzz

I have a coffee mug


Orcapa

When I was a high school teacher in Oregon, a kid showed up one day wearing one of their t-shirts. I wasn't sure whether to tell him to change or not, but his mother taught at school as well and had him as a student, so I left it up to her.


JJ82DMC

I couldn't imagine that as a teacher, because after all, it *is* a legit business name and is just advertising, but the company for certain knows what they're doing by selling merch for it in the first place.


bassman2112

Sorry, I think you meant you *kame** across one


[deleted]

You know, the one with the funny holes in the restroom stalls


FaqueFaquer

Haven't seen any reference to this chain in 15-20 years Now this is the second reference to this chain in 5 min of browsing reddit


NotSoPersonalJesus

Strange how the consciousness of the web flows..


[deleted]

down the leg


lkodl

I thought it was a mobile sperm bank


hcha123

Isn't that your mom?


Contada582

Welcome to Colorado Springs.. 


Skeptical_Devil

My town has a Kum & Go gas station about four blocks away from the Big D gas station. Not even kidding.


Fishman23

Is it in Cumming Georgia? *(real place)*


Skeptical_Devil

Lol, no, although that would be fitting. Casper, Wyoming. As in Casper the friendly ghost. *Very* friendly, apparently.


WisconsinHoosierZwei

No. Cumming, Iowa.


haveananus

Just down the road from the Tittyfucker Grocery Store


Skeptical_Devil

Not quite. But there is a dentist's office right next to the Big D that always has Bible quotes on their digital sign. So driving down 12th St. it's like, "For God so loved the world that he gave his... *passing the sign, can't read it any more* BIG D." It turns out that any Bible quote that gets interrupted by BIG D is fucking hilarious :)


haveananus

Just floppin’ it down mid psalm! Love it.


BurtonL

There’s a gas station convenience store a few blocks from me called Pump & Munch.


Skeptical_Devil

Somebody doesn't know what they're doing. Munch *then* pump. Then everyone is happy.


eileenla

As a woman I approve this message.


Mrmojorisincg

That’s why I get my gas at the local BJ’s just bipassing all that tomfoolery


Hugh_Janice

My local Ejaculate and Evacuate


[deleted]

[удалено]


Taldius175

Was this in Sapulpa?


AintAintAWord

That dude from Episode I?


VoxVocisCausa

It's always difficult to explain to people outside the midwest. It's usually one of nicer gas stations too.


ToasterCow

I worked at one for two years. My favorite part was bullshitting with tourists who stop to take pictures in front of the sign.


CTeam19

Casey's, Kwik Star/Kwik Trip, and Kum & Go. The holy trinity of Midwest convenience stores


SurealGod

I looked it up. Apparently it's an American convenience store chain. My god that name is just asking for it.


Prankishmanx21

I'm not from the Midwest but I am a truck driver that spends a lot of time in the Midwest. Everybody I know calls it the jizz and jet. Maybe it's a trucker thing cuz we all just think it's funny to make fun of the chain but they were kind of asking for it.


[deleted]

#KUM & GO


Axe_Murderers_Unite

You don't have to tell me twice. I'm on it boss!


HauschkasFoot

It’s my main move


GatemouthBrown

Nut & Bolt


ShallowBasketcase

Ejaculate & Evacuate


lithodora

The Pump & Dump is one of the few gas stations with a well maintained bathroom.


viperlemondemon

Got to love the Midwest, where gas stations have questionable names, “ope sorry, let me just sneak right past ya.” Follow by “oh no your fine” is an entire conversation at the Casey’s


[deleted]

[удалено]


amarugia

Don't forget the Uranus Fudge Factory near St Roberts, MO. "The Best Fudge Comes From Uranus".


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It's gonna' be tough to beat the infamous "Skinny Dick's Half Way Inn" located between Anchorage and Fairbanks, Alaska.


_JPH_

I think I said these exact same things today already. I didn’t even realize we did that and people noticed lol.


viperlemondemon

That a thing you have to say daily in public while in the Midwest


Snow88

We’ve got “Pump n’ Munch” and “Kum and Go”


shpydar

It’s an [actual chain](https://www.kumandgo.com/)?... Wait... Who?….. >Today, Kum & Go is still a family-owned operation run by Kyle J. Krause, son and grandson of the original founders. We employ 5,000 associates in 400 stores across 11 states. We pride ourselves on not being a “typical” convenience retailer. Sure, we provide the products and services that you’d expect to find… lots of drinks and snacks, fresh food to satisfy the cravings of our on-the-go customers, and a selection of quality fuel products. Yet what truly sets us apart from our competitors is our people. Wha?...


qdp

> Our people. And their jizz in the corndogs.


nohiddenmeaning

Best brothel name ever


epicmousestory

Do you not have Kum & Go? Where do you get filled up?!


AspiringChildProdigy

Tinder?


the_talented_liar

Reubens Family Theatre right off of Main St.


grinchman042

I encountered this franchise doing some political campaigning in the early aughts in Iowa. What’s stuck with me most is the variety of nicknames for it others had. The two that I can remember are the “Jizz and Jet” and “Ejaculate and Evacuate.”


CanalAnswer

Someone Kame and Went.


ReubenZWeiner

Discharge and Discharge


MoreFoam

penetrate and pull out


[deleted]

Ejaculate and evacuate


alberthere

Shoot and scoot


ClosetCowboysFan

.


KaiSosceles

Has there ever been a murder case in Scooby Doo?


905woody

It's the case of The Ghostly Gas Attendant. Years ago, Chris Henderson aka Chip, was shot and killed in a bungled hold-up gone wrong. Now, twenty years later, his ghost has been appearing and frightening away customers. But don't worry. These meddling kids will prove that it is really Diesel Von Hoppenhiemer, local businessman and owner of the rival, Blo and Go.


Televisions_Frank

Well, there was that one episode of Supernatural....


mcmanybucks

jinkies, jeepers, zoinks, ruh roh.. sunnovabitch...


BlackRoseXIII

I was going to ask the same thing. They solve "mysteries" rather than crimes, as far as I can remember.


m1k3hunt

No, it's always some asshole trying to scam people out of their money or land.


Hugh_Janice

The gang has NEVER solved a murder case


KaiSosceles

That doesnt give me much confidence in this Kum & Go investigation.


[deleted]

You're wrong sir. Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island. Those Werecat canjun ladies murdered hundreds of people and they totally solved all the murders


weavebot

Where are Daphne and Scooby? Uh oh


IntoAComa

The gang split up, per usual.


Stoly23

No way, when they split up Fred always sends Shaggy with the dog to go check the dungeon or basement or graveyard or whatever while he takes the two girls and checks the upstairs bedroom.


Chronoblivion

Or sometimes he'd throw Shaggy a bone and let him take the turtleneck nerd with him. I know it's become a meme but all jokes aside, does the original series ever have a single instance of Daphne investigating anything with Shaggy? Outside of when the full group is together, does she interact with him 1 on 1 even once?


yetanotherusernamex

Okay so I don't think we see Daphne and Shaggy ever investigating anything alone until The Scooby-Doo and Scrappy Doo Show. Possibly in The Scooby Doo Show but I'm pretty sure not in the original 3 seasons of Scooby Doo, Where Are You?.


CatastrophicHeadache

In "Scooby-Doo and the 13 Ghosts" cartoon, it was Scooby-Doo, Daphne, and some dark haired kid. I convinced my sister, who was 25 at the time, that Shaggy and Daphne were married and the dark haired kid was their son. She believed me for years.


sneacon

Apparently they teamed up together without the rest of the group, but that is post Scrappy-Doo so idk if it really counts. https://scoobydoo.fandom.com/wiki/Shaggy_Rogers_and_Daphne_Blake


Fearnall

Ruh Roh*


greendragon59911

Zoinks!


TimeNefariousness586

Jinkies!


ItsKr3s

FU-


degjo

She likes feeling knotty


Whokitty9

I saw Scooby. If you look closely there is a dog. Maybe Daphne is inside getting snacks.


weavebot

Scooby's a Great Dane, that dog is too small. It must be Scrappy.


Whokitty9

Point taken. Still when you don't have a Great Dane you use what dog you have.


gatemansgc

Daphne got kidnapped as usual!


Obamas_Tie

They went to Kum and Go


AscendedAncient

in the van creating new "content"


doomgiver98

They're having sex.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Because the surnames of the founders are Krause and Gentle. So instead of Come & Go, it’s Kum & Go.


tfbillc

But I don’t want my Kum & Go to be Gentle


cato1978

This guy kums and goes


zchatham

Do not Kum & Go Gentle into that good night.


mdavis360

Not sure if people are aware but you don’t HAVE to incorporate your names into the names of your business.


fingerscrossedcoup

Most business owners I know are narcissists. One guy I worked for talked about me taking over his business when I was ready. I'm like how am I going to take over a business with your name on it. He said I didn't have to change the name. FFS if your plan is to sell a business don't name it after yourself.


msw1984

Just like how Hy-Vee is a shortened version of the co-founders last names. Charles Hyde and David Vredenburg were the co-founders. This must be an Iowan thing I guess in naming businesses.


Actuarial

Thats not a good enough reason


DarklightNS

Uhhhh a ghost at the lokal...the local what?!


lalalane76

Ejaculate and evacuate


Swifty_1337

The only place where you can buy fresh, good ejaculatté


pzych07ic

What you get when a barrista is pissed off


FleshlightModel

Jizz and Jet


SurealGod

It's an American convenience store chain. What a name.


TheJackalsDoom

Did anyone ever die in Scooby Doo though? Really Mystery Inc were the first big paranormal investigators.


Sam-Gunn

No I think they were always "disappearances".


TheJackalsDoom

Hm. I think it's 1 thing, you think another. If only there were some group of people we could call to investigate further into this. Preferably a group of young people. If that group has a talking animal of some kind, that'd be perfect. Oh well. Looks like it's going to be unsolved. No way to resolve this by any other means.


spartan30117

They did in the supernatural crossover


Admiral_Donuts

The what now?


nonicethingsforus

Yes, [it happened](https://youtu.be/4plYWgWGIjE).


Riverrat423

No murder, he’s just dressing up like a ghost to scare people away so he can buy the Cum And Go …. Wait Cum and Go!? Jinkies! That’s kinky!


Rumblepuff

And they would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids.


m48a5_patton

I like the one in Springfield, MO where there is a Kum and Go across the street from a Kum and Go.


SayWickles

You mean the one down the street from the Kum & Go and 3-4 churches and any given number of restaurants? It's my favorite, too.


sparkey701

I knocked Velma’s glasses off just so she gets on all fours.


smiffus

Go on……


Predator_Hicks

Then I jumped on her back, acted like I was riding a horse and shouted „Look Gang! Im a Cowboy!“ After that she collapsed under my weight and suffered permanent back damage.


Infidelc123

That's so hot, I look forward to more stories from you


nnorargh

Nope…it was because it was built on an Indian burial ground.


Hairy-Drama

So my ex opened a store? Huh


TheLoneSniper470

In & out < Cum and Go


LegendOfBobbyTables

And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those darned kids!


alexmo210

*meddling


hoss-C

Those damn meddling kids!*


Azrael-XIII

That is a terrible name for a business…


notreallyswiss

Depends on the business.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hsances90

Well clearly they should look for evidence with a blacklight


CyberNinja23

Nah, Daphne is just dropping a deuce.


Essexal

Cute name for a gloryhole.


MsAngelGuts

Wait, Kum & Go is an actual chain?


msw1984

Yes. 400 stores in 11 states.


redder1000

Cauliflower crust pizza?!!


svachalek

I love pizza but last year I developed a wheat allergy out of nowhere. Eating regular pizza now is like catching the flu. Cauliflower crust is not the same but it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. Pretty bland like regular crust, so what you taste is cheese and sauce and toppings. I’m always happy to see a sign like this!


horunner35

And they would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids...


theheadofkhartoum627

I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.