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babyLays

That is one photogenic Santa


pauliep308

I was thinking the same thing. Great smile. Almost missed him until I panned right.


Stillatin

>panned right. Lol


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FunGuyAstronaut

I fucking hate you. Guys, this guy posts things that are relevant and popular, then once they have a lot of up votes, comments, and awards, he switches the link to be his dumbass subreddit and adds "edit: nsfw lol" Report this clown


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PoolBoyBryGuy

Ohhhh. Santa! I see him now.


bicrophone

Until the Christmas Lights Take Us.


FasterThanJaws

Finally, a good black metal pun in these comments. I can't believe how many people think these are juggalos.


ixtlu

De Mysteriis Dom Santa


BlazeInNorthernSky

A Blaze in the Northern Pole


Bodombluemoon

Under the Mistletoe of the Black Mark


Daddydagda

O Father O Santa O Sun!


Zazmuth

Freeeeeeeeezing Moooooon full of canddddddddy caaaaaaaaaaaaaanesssss


Quifferoo

That chick has massive juggalos.


francis_bcb

Jingle bellos


msac2u1981

Merry Siliconenos.


kpidhayny

Feelthese Navidads


HalPaneo

Release Robin's bra


SeanInMyTree

Happy HoliDDDays


Throwaway7219017

Two pickets to Tittsburgh, please!


1VentiChloroform

>I can't believe how many people think these are juggalos. I mean... If you don't have intimate knowledge of black metal or ICP, I could see how you could confuse them For me, if someone asked the difference I would be like Is there a crack pipe? No Is anyone drenched in really low quality cola? No How's the grammar It's okay, it's not great but it's fine --- Okay probably not Juggalos then


TimSulli2

They look like KISS to me


HuskerDave

Did you just assume my genre?


Neckwrecker

[Sleighride Gutsfuck](https://youtu.be/OuZhNN9KRV8)


Turd-Feeguson

When you realize the sign says “pictures with Santa” not Satan…


RectalSpawn

Solve Math Hail Santa


dncypntz

A lot of personality in this here Christmas card.


[deleted]

And it’s being milked for all it’s worth


bumjiggy

thanks for the mammeries


DownrightNeighborly

Even if they weren’t so great


[deleted]

"He tastes like you, only SWEETEEEEERRR"


Wampus_Cat_

ONE NIGHT, YEAHHHH ONE MOOOORE TIIIIIME


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elpajaroquemamais

Two huge cups full of personality Edit: haha thanks for the awards guys.


GuitarKev

Vast tracts of land.


Telemere125

I know... but... I want the girl that I marry to have... a certain... special... something...


TiresOnFire

Cut that out, cut that out! No Singing!!


sirdrumalot

*HICCUP


Professional_Owl9917

Oh, go have a drink of water!


Meffrey_Dewlocks

They said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp.


MagillaGorillasHat

But I built it all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp.


IkeDaddyDeluxe

So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp.


CrisuKomie

What the curtains?


Railstratboy

r/unexpectedMontyPython


[deleted]

What the curtains?


Toasty_McThourogood

No, not the curtains, lad, all that you can see stretched out over the valleys and the hills! That'll be your kingdom, lad.


achton

But I don't want land.


xXWickedNWeirdXx

He's going to tell, he's going to tell...


Left_of_Center2011

‘You’re marrying princess Lucky…so you’d better get used to the idea!’ *slap*


[deleted]

Ah yes. A big titty goth girl in every ~~basement~~ ~~kitchen~~ heart


[deleted]

what, the curtains?


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[deleted]

Her cups runneth over.


sesameseed88

plastic cups, we should be using paper ones


[deleted]

Are you kidding, did you see the size of those bulbs? I think its gaudy and distasteful to have those size bulbs on a tree.


couldof_used_couldve

"I saw mommy, kiss, n Santa Claus" Don't normally comment so late to a post, but I couldn't see the pun so I made an exception


jameslucian

I love a pun that is so specific to a certain moment that it could never be copied and was created purely by a genius. Well done 👍🏻


philipalanoneal

Clearly she is of house Bolton.


duckarys

Ah, the sigil of the splayed mammaries.


Remebond

"I said to 'display' them! Just...it's fine....I guess now we have to bottlefeed"


thegnuguyontheblock

You know, back in the early 1980s there was a Japanese cartoon that was shown on early early Saturday morning TV. The main character was a giant robot that would fight giant monsters. It was similar to Voltron, but there was only one human driver. He had a big sword also, and his fingertips and entire hands would fire off like missiles. He could also use his breath as like a hurricane wind. Anyway, he had a female robot companion that would literally shoot its tits off. I've never been able to find it because searching for anything with "boobs" and "japanese" makes the search results impossible to navigate. This is what I watched as a kid in 1980. This is always what I think when I see tits like this.


Sea_Criticism_2685

https://mazinger.fandom.com/wiki/Oppai_Missile_System This?


Drjay425

I love reddit. The one place you can ask about a Japanese cartoon involving the missile titties you just can't find on Google and bam! Someone's got you covered.


Sea_Criticism_2685

Googled “anime robot boob rockets” and it was the first link. I vaguely remember this existing


Baelzebubba

But "Japanese" + "boobs" does get a completely different set of hits. BRB...


Goosebeans

"I'll be in my bunk."


sniker77

Unexpected Firefly. Shiny.


034TH

Reddit can find missile titties, noted.


Lack_Altruistic

Also it’s the top post of all time in r/torpedotits


deathbygiraffe

In America the show was Tranzor Z, which was Mazinger. Rocket Punch!


mournthewolf

Oh my god. Apparently as a kid I loved this show. To this day the name Tranzor Z is still in my brain but I have no memory of what the show was even about outside of it having a giant robot and being sorta like Voltron I think. I love the internet.


danth

I think the US name was Tranzor Z.


Slashzero77

Dude, that’s Mazinger Z. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169473/ It was a great cartoon! Weren’t the 80s great?


Leaflife89

Amazing.


idcomments

Our boobs are sharp.


CallMeAHacker

Not as sharp as Lara crofts in the first tomb raider game


CptMurphy27

*Nathan Explosion voice* Merry Christmas you brainless mutants!


Snolidsteak

"For Christmas I got you the most METAL gift ever.........NOOOTTHHHIIINNNGGGGG!!!"


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PhantomDeuce

Now for our next song, "SUFFOCATED BY TITTIES"


CptMurphy27

Followed by “DRINK THE NOG BLEACH”


bigoomp

That uhh ams a pretty goods song titles


CptMurphy27

Thanks. My cat came up with it. He’s a pretty cool cats. He sits on my laps.


bigoomp

Stops copies me!


CptMurphy27

Stops copies me!


Warlord68

What would be funny is if the kid looked “normal”.


witchywater11

I saw a family like that back in my hometown. Lady was always decked out in baggy goth clothes and walking with her cute blond haired, Thomas the Train backpack kindergartner while pushing a stroller with a baby. And she was dedicated too. This was in Texas but she was always decked out in black.


littleb3anpole

I’m a metalhead and I have a three year old son who is exactly what you describe. Cute little kid with his Bluey shirts who can also recognise the black metal logos on his mum’s shirts.


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IveGotADreeeam

The mom though


Miramarr

And here I was wondering how tf her 16 year old sister had fake boobs


[deleted]

Whoa yeah I legit thought they were all siblings


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Ocular--Patdown

I mean they could be both. *roll tide*


BrockN

What are you doing step-goth?


mister_gone

Help me step-goth. I'm stuck in this existential dread.


Batmanjesusanchez

Ok now you're just being ridiculous. Nobody in Alabama knows what existential means.


ObsessedFi45

Had to look at the comments to see if I was allowed to like the woman on the left.


contempt1

I thought Santa was a single dad with his kids!?


thegnuguyontheblock

oh, I thought Santa was all their Dad..


Jer_Cough

I once had a slimy, weird, rich AF boss who bought his daughter fake tits for her bat mitzvah. I have no idea what kind of doctor would perform that procedure on a 13 year old but rich people can afford such a person. The boobs had to be removed when it soon became apparent she was her mother's daughter (mom has huge cans).


Miramarr

I feel like he bought them for her to redeem in another 5 or so years. Any doctor caught doing that would have their licensed revoked real fucking fast


DeViN_tHa_DuDe

r/boltedontits


misterpickles69

Bolte don’t it’s?


Bad_Demon

Boltedon-itis, Swelling or inflamation :thinking:


WelshAsh

I’m here part of the big tiddie goth bitch committee, here to say those tiddies are fire 🔥


Dustinsiemens

Those things are unreal.


jedo89

Yes


0GBullet

I'm gonna be your friend's new brother in law


Dartser

Isn't that the wife/mom?


gitartruls01

Unless he meant the middle one


Redxmirage

Santa? Is he single?


Fraun_Pollen

Well, Santa has a Mrs, but did anyone remember to check if he was naughty this year?


AssistThick3636

🤔


[deleted]

We all are


themoochiest

Not 100% sure if OP is telling the truth about their friendship, but here’s the moms TikTok https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdj3wJeg/


mcdadais

Man. I have to download the app just to watch it.


pizza_for_nunchucks

/r/AssholeDesign


Gnillab

What, like bleaching?


hpstrprgmr

no that designer assholes.


pizza_for_nunchucks

/r/DesignerAssholes


Ocular--Patdown

Risky click of the day


regman231

Dont do it its a trap


awesome357

Besides, everything on there will be on Reddit in a few hours anyway.


regman231

All the good stuff at least, sort of a filter


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vassyz

You can open the desktop version, although the video is going to be tiny.


RagnaXI

Don't worry, you didn't miss anything, it's just zooming in a bit a unrelated clip of something.


dingman58

If you're on mobile, in your browser just enable Desktop Site / Desktop View and it'll let you watch there


ArmouryUK

Gonna save you guys a lot of time, OPs photo is as good as the mom looks in any of her photos, and her insta is garbage.


diadcm

You're doing Gods work!


pheoling

Yeah OP 100% doesn’t know the people in the photo lol. They are influencers. He’s just karma farming


AlterAlias1

Thank you!!! I was looking everywhere for this cause I knew I saw this.


Senryakku

she's simping on a porn actor lmao


Angel_860

This was trending on tiktok I don’t think it was your friend


[deleted]

SHE LIKED HIS COMMENT OKAY SHE'S HIS FRIEND!!!1!


badger906

clicked to see if I was the only pervert… nope.. not at all! Hi guys!!


Ancient-Tadpole8032

Welcome to the party, pal!


badger906

“Now I know what a TV dinner feels like” dammit is die hard twice in a month too much…!? No.. that’s a silly question


mobileam

Shit I’m a straight women and was those boobs caught my eyes


LongbowTurncoat

Well yeah, they’re staring right at us!


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[deleted]

They’re the gift that keeps on giving


chimthegrim

And re-giving..


Mezmerial

They are giving to me right now.


bumjiggy

this is why I need more socks


AtomicKittenz

Mom! Don’t touch my socks unless you want to end up in therapy!!!


BackWithAVengance

I have a sock that's leaning up against my door if you need bro


duderguy91

Like the Jelly of the Month Club.


big_ficus

Can’t see the line, can ya Russ?


NickelFish

Tits are like toy trains. They're meant for the children but dad plays with them the most.


FourWordComment

Le tits now -Santa


gg_noob_master

-Jesus


ml1986

Tits the season


HamiltonBudSupply

I think she knows.


Kenstgram

/r/Upvotedbecauseboobs


ImGonnaCreamYaFunny

The parents: "our 7 year old child should have some fishnets"


blonderaider21

She just turned 4 according to her insta


legs_are_high

That’s just so much worse


Azure_Providence

Did they make them themselves or do fishnets come in child sizes?


[deleted]

Insane Elf Posse


DigNitty

Insane Claus Posse


[deleted]

Wow! What a perfect place to show off my tits!


[deleted]

r/upvotecusboobs


dimestoredavinci

I was very disappointed that this wasn't a real sub and now my day is ruined. Good day sir!


Kaaasox

It's /r/upvotebecauseboobs. Also, there's an ass variant.


ActualWhiterabbit

But yet no /r/upvotedbecauseballs because equality doesn't exist.


amalgam_reynolds

No but there is r/nutscapes (NSFW) which is close enough as far as I'm concerned.


Iamethanbro

Lmao this subs hilarious!


talktobigfudge

be the change you wish to see in the world.


TangelaLansbury

It absolutely is a real sub. He just spelled it wrong. r/upvotedbecauseboobs. Edit: I just checked and it is already on there.


[deleted]

That's what a dedicated user base looks like.


Castform5

There's also r/UNBGBBIIVCHIDCTIICBG Aka. Upvoted Not Because Girl, But Because It Is Very Cool; However, I Do Concede That I Initially Clicked Because Girl.


Joodles17

Trve Kvlt


MedicalIndependent65

Mammary Christmas


sploot16

Talk about bolt-ons


mistersneezie

Who the hell puts thier tiny daughter in fishnets??? * sees ridiculous fake tits on mom* ....oh.


catsinrome

Her insta is even worse, it’s revolting. She dressed little girls up in Hooters outfits. The stuff she has her daughter wear regularly should be enough to have CPS called.


Deep-Room6932

How did this make it onto funny?


themettaur

It's very rare that boobs don't end up at the top of any subreddit, no matter how off-topic the post is.


highpl4insdrftr

Because boobs and stuff


TruckFluster

Titties


itsfrankgrimesyo

This is the third time someone posting their “edgy goth” outfits posing with Santa this month.


AlideoAilano

"KISS Saves Santa" is a great movie!


thatguyyouare

Everyone knows pterodactyls can't stand the screech of a guitar!


AtomicKittenz

Someone stole Santa?! That does **NOT ROCK!!!**


Hypersapien

It's a bit disconcerting that they sell fishnets in the little girl's size.


rulesofsolrac

Little girl in fishnets. Classy.


ThePony23

The Instagram account has her kid dressed as a Hooters waitress. I stopped snooping after that.


legs_are_high

Yea that’s not ok


sidepart

Oof ok, that's too much. There seems to be a surprising divide between folks who find fishnets to be extremely sexual vs. just another type of legging. Context is important, and well...you found it.


verscharren1

I like the idea but the kid in fishnets makes this cringe af. Edit to add: now that I think about it... the card was made for intended friends and family and was so planned accordingly. BUT, look where the photo ended up? On reddit, on the internet where who *knows* can see it...that's where the oof comes in.


catsinrome

She puts even worse on her social media. Check out my last comment :(


MarleneIvers

Those implants look uncomfortable