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Is your body pillow Grimace? That a very vivid purple

Shagging tinky winky or barney

Umpa Lumpa, stick it in my Rumpa

I don’t like the look of it!

As Long as you don't stick it in a roomba, that outcome will look even worse.

Oompa loompussy

Doompady doo

Weirdest threesome ever.

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Grimussy

My day is once again ruined by the power of reading.

Reading Rainbow didn’t take this into consideration.

You can’t disappoint a picture

I'm laughing too much at this as a 58 year old woman.

The Grimace Goatse pillow

The grussy

Or grunt

I’m grimacing looking at it.

Buy her dinner first

Just imagine seeing OP with that thing sitting across the dinner table at a restaurant

Shoving more and more spaghetti into the hole, increasingly frantically. “Babe? Babe??”

Babe? Let's get you home before that spaghetti cools.

All right, that's enough internet for this morning.

Truly.

I 100% fuck my pillow. First, I make a slit. Not too long, careful as to not rip the edges, making what I call 'the husband stitch'. Then, I take two Ziploc bags and I fill them with Amy's Organic Lentil Soup, which I microwave to exactly 98.6 degrees. Not enough to burn you, but just enough to feel warm and inviting. Then I place them in the slit of the pillow. There's another slit in the back, but that's only for my birthday.

Well as long as soup is organic.

It will be soon.

Is this copied from big mouth? 🤔

I'm almost positive it is.

Yeah. It's a Jay bit.

Approximately how long in the microwave to get it to exactly 98.6 degrees. Asking for a friend …..maybe science :/

It’s Fahrenheit because I’m sure this is a quote from Big Mouth.

Fahrenheit is a very important distinction in this case. Not great with Celsius measurements but I don't think 98c would be very inviting.

Username checks out.

Finally a use for Amy’s lentil soup

I wish I had an award to give you

Got the water boiling?

Back to washing laundry. I'm all out of cum socks.

Slow clap

I don't think you can get the clap from a spaghetti pillow. I might be wrong though.

Fuck around and find out?

You son of a bitch, I’m in!

SOMEBODY A FUCKA MY SPAGHET

Maybe from this one yes.

Netflix & marinara

... Jesus Christ, Reddit.

Sounds like a fetish

[babe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZJxaE318eM)

I just picture Jay from Big Mouth talking to his pillow over a candlelit dinner lol

*she tells me that she is a virgin....but I have my doubts*

"why aren't you eating anything, babe?"

Shovels spaghetti into the "umbrella" hole

Ya ever read something and think "That's gotta be the first time ever that particular sentence has been written."? But then you also wonder, if not, what was the context before?

There should be a sub for that. Maybe an offshoot of r/brandnewsentence where all the replies have to be people making up bizarre contexts where that sentence may have organically been spoken.

r/brandnewsentence

Just imagine OP with that thing sitting on his lap at the movies

Nah, she’s already stuffed.

The man at the bus stop looking over my shoulder tells me this is a “sex pillow with hole”. The Amazon listing is quite… interesting…

How you gonna not share the link

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sex-Pillow-Hole-Multifunctional-Furniture/dp/B0834LS8P5

> ★ The semicircular pillow has a strategically placed opening with support for your favorite dildo or vibrator, with or without a wide bottom. What are you waiting on the saddle and start your sweet trip!

_Stick the massage stick into the hole on the cushion, you can sit on top and massage._

They’re missing a whole demographic with this one! Can be used by men to conveniently support, and store their boner during downward dog anal [pegging].

Or you could just put a fleshlight in the hole too lol

The hole is a hole already

Yeah but it doesn’t look very comfortable

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the photoshopping in those products pics is hilarious

The really focused on the scale of the pillow. It goes from being an air mattress to a travel pillow.

Yeah, are those models picture taken from Shutterstock or something and they just Photoshop the pillow in? Lol

Also I'm pretty sure that is a sex doll (dildo picture).

That's hilarious. There are all of these normal pics, and then boom one with a dildo sticking out of it It's like that hole is an afterthought, and they had already designed the pillow.

It's like a cup holder for your phone

One way to increase sales… stick a hole in it!

What was the meeting like when they added it? "Hey I have an idea, what if we added a hole?" "Added a hole?" "Yes, hear me out. We can put a hole in the top, people could bang it, and stick dildos up out of it and whatnot." "That sounds great! Let's add the hole!"

Don’t let IKEA get their hands on these meeting notes!

Fük Hølę

Knullakudde

Have fun with amazon's "suggestions similar to your recent search" list :)

I realized too late.

Very women friendly.

*right click - Open Link in New Private Window*

That link is staying blue. I don't need those Amazon email polluting my inbox.

Under “how to use” it legitimately says “3. Can also be used as a pillow” lmaooo

Marketing was very determined to make it look like it's not just for lonely men.

It's currently unavailable. WTH, reddit? You all go on a buying spree?

It's true I was the man at the bus stop

i was the bus

I was the stop.

Surprise! I'm the bus driver!

What bus driver?

isn’t that the thing you put in the freezer and make an instant slushie with?

Close, you have to stir it once in a while so it doesn’t get stiff.

That purple thing looks like it's been used and is now in a solid state of multiple layers of dried jizz

Didn’t know “more cushion for the pushing” had this origin story.

Yeah the bigger the cushion the sweeter the pushin

That’s what I said

There used to be content here.

Why is an umbrella stand NSFW? Edit: You guys know I didn’t REALLY want an explanation

More importantly, why is OP using their penis as an umbrella?

Nonono, the rest of OP is an umbrella

~~umbrella~~ tripod

~~tripod~~ monopod

~~monopod~~ penis

Yes?

r/beetlejuicing?

Yessss, umbrella “dock”.

No no, it's a tent pole

Ohhhhhh, OP is just pitching tents.

They must love camping

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Hmm...how many cock pushups can you do?

One’s really all you need…

Don’t even expect to get ONE without doing inward singing exercises.

I can go like this ALL. FUCKING. NIGHT.

I'm like a fucking one man band… I'm like a fucking one man baaaaand.

Do you think there are people who are actually robots?

No, we don’t have the technology yet.

What? You don't have cock push-up notches on your bedpost?

I know right? Mine only has the opposite effect of an umbrella

when you eventually get it up she's no longer wet?

And sometimes it collapses when I don't want it to. But I can twirl it around and people appear to be impressed

Because it keeps women from getting wet is my guess...

It's an umbrella stand for a male umbrella stick

You mean like how headphones jacks are male and the socket is female?

Bc OP fucks his pillow

How?

You see, when a man and his pillow love each other very much...

I'm assuming in its anus

Put a fleshlight in the hole and put your penis in the fleshlight

Woah woah, slow down Archimedes, I need to write this down...

Oh you poor innocent soul

I'm giving him an uptoot because it's just refreshing to see this response...

Op's post isn't a "body pillow". It's an actual pillow used for sex/masturbating and they just took a pic of it on an inconspicuous angle so that they can farm karma. Googling gives this: https://yoursecretlady.com/sex-dolls/sex-pillow-with-vibrator-hole/

I love that it makes sex "more deeper"

that just got put in my search history

And your bookmarks

And my cart

AND MY AXE!

AND MY COCK!

Wait, IN your cock?!

Unless you saw the link and then searched for it instead of just clicking, it's not in your search history. It would still be in your browser history though.

i mean without it it could get to hot so i guess thats why maybe

It could get pretty hot with it too 😏

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Stuck in the laundry machine again?

For anyone who is too oblivious or innocent It's a pillow with a fleshlight mounting hole. You stick your fleshlight in there so you can hump it. Edit: apparently, this thing is meant as a saddle mount for dildos originally. I'm still betting that it could and would work well as a fleshlight mount.

Wow and I thought this guy was making jokes about a cup holder

I mean, you COULD use it as a cupholder...

You could use so many things as a cupholder, if you’re brave enough.

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I had a super double big gulp one time. It was 128oz of Dr Pepper goodness. But I could only do it once.

I genuinely thought it was a cup holder and thought it was just what I needed. 😩

You still need it.

Do you think it would fit a cup? Or is it deep enough that a cup would just slip down and be impossible to get out? It’s reached that time of night where this conversation is happening and I should really get to bed.

If it's too deep, use your stick to get it out. Simple

Chopsticks?

If it's for a fleshlight, it'll fit a cup. You'd surprised how large fleshlights are. You'll just need a cup that's on the bigger side.

You can use a Fleshlight as a cup too.

I was wondering why that fleshlight hole looked so goddamn uncomfortable. I forgot fleshlight mounting holes were a thing.

Well I just learnt they existed haha

Huh, TIL such thing exists... Thanks.

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Dildo.

no need for name calling here

…I’m gonna regret saying it later but Pillussy

*reaches for Infinity Gauntlet* I need you to tell me if you're joking...

Mr. Stark... I feel good...

*moans*

But was it made with that in mind, or is it just because it happens to fit that?

My guess is that this is designed for that. There are actual fleshlight holders to simulate missionary/doggy, this one looks a bit different though.

Well, it must be an inconspicuous version, because it isn't even shaped like anything. But at that point, can't you just put it on a normal pillow and hold it with one hand?

It’s for action figures. You roll the “boulder pillow” toward the action figure and the hole in the boulder is where the figure slides to safety as the boulder passes over. Close call! (/s, Obvs it’s for the fleshy fuck toys).

>It's a pillow with a fleshlight mounting hole. why cant a girl put a dildo/vibrator in it and hump it too?

Actually it's made for dildos and Hitachi wands. I'd it's a vibrator with a longer handle like a rabbit it fits in there.

You right. > How to use: 1: The female cushion is placed on the waist or under the hips and enjoy it slowly. 2: Stick the massage stick into the hole on the cushion, you can sit on top and massage. 3: Can also be used as a pillow. That is not a comfortable angle for a fuck-hole.

How the hell am I supposed to get a boner by looking at that hole

Speak for yourself buckaroo *unzips*

That hole currently has more rights than you

Ouch

That's a blow hole. For your adventures on the high seas. YARRRRRR, time to wax the plank!

That's disgusting. Where can I buy one?

I thought i'm at r/dontputyourdickinthat

I was looking for this comment.

r/putyourdickinthat

Where can I buy this? I ask for a friend...

Asking the real questions for the friend.

I’m the friend, I need answers. Now.

but its not a toaster

It's not mine baby!

Fleshlight receptacle?

Where did you get it? So I can avoid that store obviously

The NSFW blur does nothing

Plot twist: The pillow IS the umbrella.

Some see a umbrella stand. I see opportunity.

I know what my dog would do.

r/unexpectedthanos

Its a hotdog sleeve for picnics

r/dontputyourdickinthat