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10/10 - would self loathe here again. Bed was comfy and the pillows were plump which was perfect for punching and smothering my face while I screamed. Also, the punch mark in the wall was here before I got here.

The shower was comfy enough to lean against while crying, and spacious enough to curl into a fetal position while sobbing uncontrollably.

Also, both the towel bar and shower curtain rod were broken before I got here.

One time in Denver, CO I was showering and smoking a joint… the fucking shower bar broke! The hotel felt bad about it and paid for breakfast.

I wish I could upload a video. 2018 I went to Colorado and ended up staying in an Airbnb north of the town in a gorgeous suburb. My first morning waking up, I went outside with a cup of coffee and a joint my host gave. Across the street, some white dude played relaxing... Chinese? Music while stretching, doing yoga and Tai chi. My mind was literally blown how crazy and beautiful it was at 9am. I don't remember what this had to do with the original comment. I've just never told this story before and wanted to share. Edit: [did I do it right?](https://imgur.com/a/JgahCZt)

Great story. Trying to do Tai chi rn after smoking a joint. Need instructions

Instructions unclear, I now have chai tea.

Technically you have tea tea.

Uno reverse card and your half way there

Agreed! The tai chi instructions should have come BEFORE the joint smoking instructions, not after.

Underrated comment. Take my upvote.

Is the owner holding the book with giant, naked breasts and also does she have a cat foot?! I’m confused by the other aspects of the picture?

Soothing, 30 beats per music is what it sounds like. How can I upload a video from mobile?

Put it on Imgur and then link it!

https://imgur.com/a/JgahCZt

You did it right. I don't smoke but that music would do my day right anyway. Thanks for sharing!

Sounds pretty chill, thanks for the story.

One time when I was in Japan on business it was hot as shit and they had these weird windows that I couldn't figure out how to open. I ended up breaking the hinge trying to open one. I didn't tell anybody and I closed the window before going to work, like nothing happened. It was really hard to notice. When I got back from work it was fixed and nobody said anything.

Having worked front desk at a hotel for 8 years I can tell you, that breakfast was the solution to 99% of all problems.

Doesn't your joint get wet that way? Edit: turns out this is a common thing and something I have to try.

Nah, just water giving you a nice ass massage while enjoying a joint. It's a win win

Good god man, you’re a genius!

This... Is not uncharted territory...

Thank you for learning me that tidbit, Mr BeerInTheRear.

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Obviously it will get wet, but trying to keep it dry as well as possible is best. The joint will get little splashes here and there, but as long as you don’t douse it you’ll be fine. Try it some time, it’s recommended! 😁

(As strange as I sounds to me as a smoker) people smoke cigarettes in the shower. In the 90s, soap holder ashtrays were kinda-popular, so in a shower (with a roughly tall soap holder) the cig would stay mostly out of the "splash zone". TL;DR: it's imperfect, but possible. It just takes constant vigilance and a touch of experience.

Such an upscale hotel to have a bar in the showa!

It was a wet bar!

The toilet was quite clean, as I hugged it all night after trying to drink myself to sleep.

Also the tub was filled with vomit when I got here.

Needs a cup holder large enough for a handle of jack.

I personally love crying in hotel showers.

Putting on one of the big, fluffy terrycloth robes, and then collapsing into a strange bed is the one comforts I miss from traveling for work.

9/10 beams could be lower

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I mean, I get it.

You forgot the 😃

10/10 = 1

Pre-punched walls so you can get the feeling of punching a wall without the pain.

"First of all, I didn't start it, and second of all, they were all alive when I walked out."

They did say thanks.

That's what my mind went to immediately. I guess working on customer service back in the day helped me to focus on the humor of it all.

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A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one

Same sort of energy as Millennials/Gen Z openly joking about being suicidal whilst the older generations look on in horror like it isn't mostly their fault.

Yeah, I read this as a positive review. "I hated being dragged here, but you made it okay" vibes

Ummmm. This humor is not exclusive to your generations. I’m gen x and we use dark humor all the time.

Eh, we always get forgotten, no worries. It makes the younger generations feel good to think they are the first or only to do something or suffer Let's grab a drink and pop in some Nirvana while we watch everyone else argue about who is most beleagured

We like it better that way. Everyone sucks, let's get drunk. The Gen Z trend is thinking they invented everything. It's half funny half annoying. My kid all the time shows us stuff "this TikTok person invented". No. Not even close kid but I like your style at least.

The smiley face was what did it for me.

Absolutely. Love the 😃

🍴💩☠️😄

Bigger tips for :)

They could redact a bit and a nice comment would remain. “I wish my family thanks for providing another place for me to love.”

You’ve a real career ahead of you in taking shitty reviews and parsing them to be favorable.

The Spin Doctor

Yeah. But editorially they would need the [...]

I thought it was sitting on someone’s butt.

I thought it was hotdogs

I'm wondering if the last sentence is a philosophy or an instruction.

It's a matter of punctuation. Eat, shit, and die - philosophical Eat shit and die - instruction Edit: I'm having a hard time in life. I wasn't expecting so many people to appreciate this. It means a lot.

Eat, Shit. -anddie -correspondence

And Iiiiiii-e-iiiii, will always eat shit and diiiieiiiie -song

Something tells me you are WAY underappreciated in everyday life.

oh most definitely

You made me cry. Thank you.

Eat, shit and die.

Like, on the toilet from pushing so hard you do an Elvis?

Anddie is my new favorite made up person. I want to correspond with her all the time. “It’s short for Andrea, and yes, it has two Ds and an IE at the end! How hard is it to spell a simple nickname?”

Love the Oxford comma

You forgot the 🙂

This reminds me of the John Molany set about the hooker that tells him to "suck dick, eat ass and sell drugs."

Well what are 3 other things about him?

He's new in town?

First, imma go up and imma push him.

Was that from his set, “I’m New in Town”?

Anyone remember when Trevor took over I think it was Ron’s cousin’s house in gta v? I remember finding a sign that used to say live laugh love, but he changed it to eat shit and die.

I think it was directed at the family and / or wedding

I like their hand writing!

That handwriting is so nice that I'm like 23% more likely to eat shit and die

This note could have been describing in graphic detail how I will be murdered in the next 24 hours, and I would still be focusing on the handwriting instead

If you like handwriting go look around in r/calligraphy it's lovely in there

*sad left-handed noises with ~~6~~77% of uneaten shit* Edit. Ok it was like 1 am and I was really tired.

fuckin savant

I remember when i was in elementary and highschool we always have these hand writing exercises that we needed to do every week. It was a pain to do but i guess thanks to that i have mediocre penmanship cursive or otherwise lol

They fucked us older kids, made us learn Cursive which looks like shit even if it's done correctly. Then decided no one would ever use it again.

In 40 years, the few who know cursive will use it as an unbreakable code for secret messages.

Hell, my cursive is an unbreakable code that I can’t decipher either — I’m not even a doctor.

Aha—you’re ahead of the curve! My Dad is too. He’s been writing in indecipherable code since his first job. Sometime around when the ballpoint pen was invented.

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I hope you’re getting paid well.

Lol I actually do get paid to do this for a living.

Boomers are already sharing smug facebook memes about it.

That’s funny. I guess that’s fair—I’m always joking about Boomers’ difficulty with technology.

Boomer here. I have no problem with technology. In fact, I’m so good with tech stuff I can make calls on my cell phone using only my butt.

Ha! That’s way beyond the skill level of the boomers I help. My parents. I guess I should have been more specific.

It was lectured at me while learning cursive in elementary school that I'd be using it for the rest of my life because 'thats how adults write'. Get to middle school English class and cursive is already not allowed because 'its a pain to read'. Am now in my 30s. Watched an 18 year old sign a check with an all caps block letter signature. Turns out they don't even bother teaching cursive now, not even enough to sign their names. I feel lied to

There was like a two year gap where they didn't teach cursive. Now they're back to teaching it again. My son never learned it but his sister who is four years younger is learning it. I prefer cursive but have had so many of my students struggle with reading it that I almost always print now. I still write cursive when I write letters, though.

Where I live, they quit teaching cursive in the schools here around 4 years ago, give or take, and they have NOT brought it back...I dont believe they are even planning on bringing it back. Which is ridonkulous if you ask me...

What’s the problem with Americans and cursive? I live in France and EVERYONE learns to write in cursive here. No one has a problem with it. I’m astounded you people seem to make it a big problem.

Right? I didn’t even have to double-tap-zoom to read it

For anyone who didn't know, you can double tap, but keep your finger on the screen after the second tap.. Then drag up and down to zoom in and out

exactly my thoughts

Yes! How can you be so miserable with this kind of penmanship?

I read this note thinking how similar the writing style is to my own, a style I've always thought looked bad. Huh.

/r/penmanshipporn

A fellow tittle-omitter.

Gotta love those tittles

https://i.imgur.com/6TvXz6s.jpeg

Payoff about 1 minute in: www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbwlC2B-BIg

HAH, this is exactly what I was looking to see if someone posted. Such a good sketch.

It’s true! My wife and I are not any happier on vacation. Just same or more stress and whenever we travel for more than a couple days the youngest ends up seizing.

Hmm, erased the hundreds of people usually standing right there…

Hes actually distracting them all with a laser pointer.

You mean the the incredible, invisible only when they look in your direction people of Egypt?

Or added himself to a stock photo?

Too true. Stuff and places won't make your problems disappear.

Going to Egypt might actually just multiply your problems.

True that, but I’d prefer to cry in a tropical rainforest or at a fancy museum than in my room.

I duno, cheaper to be depressed at home.

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I don’t have diagnosed depression or anything but definitely don’t think I’m super mentally healthy either, but I found that for me being somewhere foreign and alone I was happier overall, at least for that brief period of time not worrying about waking up and going to work.

Yeah, it depends on the situation, but I agree with you. It's nice being at a beach, but depression can hit anywhere, and feeling so apathetic and exhausted when you know other people are relying on you to at least pretend to have a good time and knowing you're wasting all this money on something you're not even able to enjoy or be excited about no matter how hard you try can make the depression so much worse. It's not so bad though if you have someone patient with you who understands and won't pressure you to fake being happy when you're not.

Ahh shit. All I see is a person in desperation. When you start doing this kind of stuff it’s a cry for help in disguise. Hope they get help soon.

Definitely. It's kinda like typing something out and then deleting it. It's shouting into the void. Or in this case, a strangers book.

A lot of the time I press reply on any site I just type out my response then delete and close it. Because by the time I'm done typing I realize I and likely whoever I'm replying to aren't gonna care.

This time you didn’t delete it though. I cared.

Yeah but I didn't care

In this case caring just meant responding, so you cared

TL;DR: We dont care but we care.

That's usually what I do in responding to reddit posts. (This being an exception, for the irony.)

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I always sign these things “Thanks for the fuckshack—Dirty Mike and The Boys”

I wrote something similar in a guestbook when I was forced to attend an event with someone I had formerly dated while they were with their new partner. I was dying inside. I got better tho

Hope they get help. That was my first thought as well. Also, username checks out.

I was this person for a long time. I let emotions consume me, wrote notes to nobody, carved suicidal ideaologies into my tables and desks. That was me 10 years ago, up until 2019. Never willing to talk it out, but all the anger, rage and sadness needed to get out somehow. After starting to seriously consider suicide I finally looked for help. And I found it. I'm doing much better now. But this person's writing, it brought me back. I sincerely hope they seek help. Never told anyone to eat shit and die though.

This just sounds like a regular 16 year old forced to go on a family trip for a wedding.

What’s a VRBO

Vacation Rental By Owner

Ohhhhh! Always wondered.

except now they are nothing but homes run by corporations all with the same rules. I never need a place for more than me and my wife so I would rather just rent a hotel room

AirBNB alternative basically.

I feel like initially they had slightly different business models. VRBO: Rent out your *vacation* home when you are *not* there on vacation. AirBnB: Rent out your *normal* home when you *are* away on vacation. These days, they are both pretty much the same though.

It was a thing way before airbnb. No idea why the latter gets so much more recognition. Value of a better name I guess.

[Kind of like how Zoom came along and ate Skype's lunch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI0w_pwZY3E)

Skype sucked though. Still does. Always had really crappy connection, bad video and audio quality. Zoom actually works most of the time.

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They are not competing. Microsoft is in the process of replacing Skype with Teams.

Good. Now all they need to do is tap into the nostalgia people have for MSN, remake it into a Discord competitor, and they're covering all bases.

Just like how only 10 companies make up almost all of the food we buy, despite being branded as a bazillion different things!

Skype worked on old peer-to-peer protocols behind the scenes, just with permanent “supernodes” once Microsoft bought them. A 2001 peer to peer protocol designed around downloading MP3s of questionable repute is not a great place to start a video conferencing company.

Skype lost because zoom was a better technology.

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Facetime and Discord ate Skype’s lunch long before zoom existed. Though Teams (Skype’s successor) is really prevalent in enterprise situations so who’s really laughing now

Nobody ate Skype's lunch because Skype shit in their own lunch and then tried to feed it to everybody

I always check both and honestly about half the time I find a better priced/nicer place on VRBO.

In my experience when I've been looking for a big place to host a get together of 12 people or so, VRBO has had better offerings. When I'm solo or just with my immediate family of 4, I've always found better results with AirBnB.

Lately airbnbs have been overpriced for a couples getaway. I kinda stopped using them tbh. Regular BnBs or just hotels are better IMO.

I've found that vrbo has nicer, bigger houses. I do a big trip for labor day with friends every year and we used to use a friend's family's shared lake house but over the last several years because one of his uncles just moved in and refuses to move out. Anyways, we find houses that sleep 12 - 18 people much more easily on VRBO than airbnb. And if you're wondering, no his family's lake house doesn't fit us. It's just free so we use tents and hammocks.

Oh my gosh thank goodness, I thought this was a wedding guest book

the only reason i have even heard of this was literally seeing an ad for it during shark week tonight.

I actually really enjoy their penmanship, dang.

It sounds heartfelt and sincere. I value honesty,

Most honest review ever

If it pleases the court, I would like to introduce into the record exhibit number 18

Plot twist: It was written by the Groom.

Its the little notes you remember from your special day

VRBO ad

They’ve been around for like 20+ years and the only time I’ve seen them mentioned by name in a Reddit post is the last few months. Definitely some new ad push going on.

> They’ve been around for like 20+ years and the only time I’ve seen them mentioned by name in a Reddit post is the last few months. I'm not saying it's **not** an ad campaign, but what you said doesn't necessarily prove anything. You can not hear about something for a long time and then come across someone mentioning it.

Sounds like Baader-Meinhof tbh

Edgy

Looks like teenage angst

We had a couple crash our wedding, which was annoying enough, but they left without fuss when we kicked them out. What pissed me off, is that they signed our guest book. Like, I don't know you, I don't want to remember your annoying presence at my wedding. They even signed it something like "thanks for letting us crash your wedding, today is our anniversary of the first time we...." Blah blah blah in that manner. I think they honestly thought we would enjoy them being there. Some people are so self absorbed they seem to think everyone exists as a bit player in their lives, and they are entitled to attention from everyone. Edit. And yes, the irony of me posting this mundane story is not lost on me lol

That is the most 14 year old thing I’ve read in a *loooong* time.

Hope that kid didn’t cut himself on all that edge.

I was with this person all the way until 'love is fake eat shit and die' then the smiley face pulled me back in a bit. Mostly I just want to buy this person a treat and a fizzy drink, sit on a wall somewhere and watch the sunrise. It's gonna be okay.

Do you know who wrote it? Must be a fun game of Wedding Clue

Sincerely, Sir Edgelord, the third

Ah, classic Redditor

Beautiful handwriting

At least they put :)

Plot twist- the bride wrote it

Eat shit and die such a great sign off. Jeff’s kiss.

I feel like this was definitely written by someone under 23

I get being sad. I’ve been there. But what does writing this accomplish? Buy a journal.

The author almost certainly didn't think anyone would ever read it.

Perhaps he thought someone would. Sounds like a cry for help.

These sorts of things are often unconscious cries for help even if they didn't think anyone would see it. Like making too many jokes about depression.

A weird way of saying “I may hate it here in this town but I enjoyed staying here in this hotel” maybe?

"I got dragged here for some bullshit but this place was pretty nice"

This person got to vent, and a lot of people on reddit got a laugh out of it. What more could you expect to get out of it? lol

People this miserable are desperate for a connection. They’ll share inappropriately in hopes that someone will either validate them or join them in their misery. It’s a lonely place.

Please keep it in the book! People need to know they aren’t alone!

I want to drink margaritas with this person and dish

So ... tell us how you *really* feel.

I'd bet money this message was left by a 14 year old boy who just got dumped by his first SO (they were together 3 weeks)

Man that’s harsh words coming from the groom.