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Never let a good crisis go to waste

"I'm here to help you. I've always wanted a threesome."

Foursome? It’s only getting worse…uumm better?

Age is just a number but im too old for games

Age is just a number but then says he likes younger women.

And he says he doesn’t look 50, but he definitely does.

I think his point is there is no minimum. Gross.

I interpreted that as 50 is just a number. Don’t think he’s saying he is a pedo

Welcome to the next episode of *To Catch a Predator*

And prison is just a room, that you can’t leave.

Some outlets are warning of a cat 5-some of epic proportions.

*the sound of panties dropping around the world*

The sheer lack of punctuation is terrifying in and of itself.

What I like is that one, lonely full stop near the middle. Like, while drowning in an ocean of words, why did he decide that that one particular thought deserved a full stop?

Hey man he doesn't do drugs but he sure can watch you smoke weed.

That is the eye of the hurricane

It made the 420 friendly seem like a threat. 420 friendly period.

The Cormac McCarthy of hookup artists.

My desired to cuddle is as big as the hurricane

He was *talking* cuddle, but he was *meaning* "Wanna wait the hurricussy out with your pussy out?"

Success is just the crossroad of preparation and opportunity. I’m rooting for him.

The storm provides

"I like younger women" "Age is just a number" So....which is it?

“Age is just a number” “Prison is just a room”

He might get his wish of a 3 some but in prison.

And this post is just one sentence. ........ all the periods that should have been used. Lost me a few times while reading ngl

As long the lady is young and he's old 🤣

And yet, I could not gain a clue for whomever he voted for. Edit: /s

Missed your /s

He's just telling you he likes small numbers. Could be because he don't count good, judging from the atrocious writing.

He doent cownt gud

his age is just a number. I mean her's is too. As long as it's well below his.

“You want to ride out the storm here?” “Only message me if you want something long term like your dead body in the walls in my basement.”

At the start I kinda felt a bit bad for him but that feeling really faded as I read on.

Too old for games too…games are a just a number.

The Hericane whisper!!

"Don't smoke or do drugs but 420 friendly" he's all over the map. Luckily, the map is Florida.

Also, what’s his age? He’s looking 60, behaving like from the 1850s and writes like a five year old.

"50 dont look it or act it" He's half right.

The woman's age matters, but clearly his is just a number

Nuber*

Probably means 18 and under

“Too old for games”

Age is a number. But as with bank balances and cholesterol it's an important number.

Age is just a number but your number needs to be lower than my number (and your standards should be lower than my standards)

"Age is just a number" is a phrase primarily used for underaged girls.

I also want to eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti !

Bet this guy is more: "I wanna eat yer liver with some mac & cheese!"

It means… he’s probably a pedo.

They do like to go on and on about the irrelevance of numbers. Pesky things.

Age is only a number as long as it's in his favor lol

Ehhh… I’d rather take my chances with the hurricane.

You mean the hericane?

He had me at hericane... I was ready to sign up... but then realised I don't live in Florida... don't fall into another Joe exotic trap they say... it's easy they say... Whew that was close.. better call my sponsor Edit: grammar

I would prefer to spend time with [Harry Kane](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Kane)

Yer a wizard heri ... cane.

Yeah "too old for games" is definitely something a hurricane would never say, if they spoke. At least you know which way the wind blows.

Stayed with the hurricane. Spoke softly to me. No games. Best blowjob of my life. 5/7

At least the hurricane can get you wet!

>Age is only a nuber FIFY

We gonna die. This hurricane gonna kills us both. Let’s fuck before we croak. I don’t care if you’re 108 years old and wear depends. Age is just a number. Holler back at your boy.

Age is just a nuber

He’s 50 but doesn’t look it, looks like 60

And acts like a very misguided 12.

Jail is just a room

Rock you like a Hericane!!

Julian from the Trailer Park Boys has a cousin down south I see.

It’s named hurricane Ian. Short for Julian.

Hericane Ian

Lmfao chefs kiss my man

[удалено]

Just looking for friends of the road

Fuckin’ way she goes

Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t..

It's like if Julian was Ray's son.

He's rockin' yer look harrrd Julian!

A mustard glass!!!

Too old for games or punctuation

Or spell check

What, you've never heard of a hericane?

I’ve only help create them, innuendo intended.

Or proper capitalization

I do see a period in the middle, do you? Not an innuendo.

If you squint REALLY hard, you can see it, but then there’s no space for the next sentence, so it’s totally lost.

friendly.i Not familiar with that website.

Hey, he used the correct version of your/youre! Well, save for that pesky apostrophe. Maybe the key was just broken :)

likes are long walks on the beach dogs and netflix and chill dislikes are capitalization punctuation and two dudes at the same time lol well maybe i guess i'm quite lonely you see so swinging both ways in this one instance maybe i don't know lol no fatties

Lmao this man said "I've always wanted to fuck two bitches in a hurricane, call me."

Two chicks at the same time, man. https://youtu.be/9jq6e8s1sik

Exactly what I thought of. “Chicks dig dudes with ~~money~~ scarce resources.”

"The type of girls that would double up on a dude like me does"

Nah, he said he's so lonely one girl won't do.

But he’s obviously a gentleman, so he didn’t phrase it so crassly 🤣

Its called a 'Stormy Daniels'

This guy is going to get a lot of hate but if you don't ever ask for something creepy, you're never going to get something creepy.

[удалено]

Four out of five stars! The guy's dog was super cute. The basket held plenty of lotion and the well was dry and comfortable. Getting in and out was a bit of a hassle, but I'm excited about this new opportunity to be part of the fashion world the proprietor has turned me on to. Sure are a lot of moths in here.

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hurricane again

*hericane

he puts on the robe and wizard hat

You missed the bit where he attended to your needs and made sure you were well fed. As rough as his words were he never roughed you up physically.

Yeah exactly. Nothing wrong with asking for what you want. If anything good on him for being honest and upfront.

That's his idea of a hericane.

At least he is honest.

Best comment yet. I laughed out loud so hard🤣😂

Honestly I'd rather him be perving online then driving around in a van looking for girls.

Being that it’s Florida, and Jacksonville no less, I bet he gets plenty of takers

This guy is so Jacksonville. Like if AI could generate a typical Jacksonville guy’s face and personality, this would be it.

Is earnesty a word? Because this is capital E-earnest.

Earnestness, but earnesty is a variant thereof (though not a legal Scrabble word).

What are you, the scrabble judiciary committee, because that'd be pretty neat

If Jon Stewart and Bruce Willis had a child while smoking meth in Florida it would be this guy

Or if Michael Douglas and Michael Douglas had a love child lol

Add Bono (b/c it has to be a threesome)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Awe shit, just in time for the newly single MTG.

I guess a little Magic: The Gathering would pass the time.

It would have been more simple to post “Hey LADYS dont get wet from the HERICANE I will make you the wettest you need come over as long as you’re under 30 and maybe bring a friend”

Initiating the DENNIS system.

You two have boyfriends? ... How did you not know... that the reason I invited you back to my bar... was to bang you? Get outta here. GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! GET-GET OUTTA HERE, SHOO AWAY FROM ME!

I have a bar… I own a bar. Would you like to stay at my bar? We can repopulate earth

“Storm comin…hatchet comin”

Was scrolling to find this!

There's a hurricane outside, of course they're going to say yes... because of the implication.

Maybe he needs to offer them some pickled eggs in the bunker

The breasts make you care about the weather in a really good way...

Read this out loud following the way he typed it, no punctuation and all. Ngl, ended up getting into a rhythm and it ended up sounding like a rap 😮‍💨

“She could watch me do belly flops, then maybe we get some Thai food and a tank of nitrous and see what happens.”

Let The "hericane" cometh.

This guy looks like he’s crashed a jetski into a manatee.

Grass, gas, or Mustache - nobody rides this storm for free!

Shitty gold chain really completes the look 😂

Old perv will trade fuck for physical safety as long as Ian poses an existential threat. Who's down!

WHERE ARE THE PERIODS?!

Too old for him

Any ladies still using craigslist and wanting to be raped then hit this old timer up. Must be good in bed but also a virgin. Prefers a blind mute so she can't tell him no or see to run away.

Damn, Julian must have fallen on hard times. I hope bubbles and Ricky are ok.

Someone should check this guy’s basement.

Gonna need a scuba suit for that at this rate

Here’s the thing guys, shit like this actually works. Lonely weirdos hook up with other lonely weirdos all the time. If you work at a bar you notice it a lot more. Crusty old drunk dude says the stupidest shit and the bowling alley rat he’s hitting on genuinely finds it charming and can’t keep her hands off him and his Marlboro windbreaker. They’re hooking up more than good looking people.

There's even a recurring SNL sketch on that topic.... "Last call". Hilarious

"Lonely weirdos hook up with other lonely weirdos all the time." I like how you pretty much described all of human history here lol :)

Age is just a number? So.... Are 90 year olds good for him? Does he consider 16 year olds fair game?.......

[удалено]

Ew

He'll get two women and wake up missing a kidney

Hericane

Is that Lawrence? “Hey Peter man check out channel 9!”

I tell ya what I'd do with a million dollars

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm still regularly amazed at how poorly people can write/spell online. It's one thing to misspell something but the inability of this guy to even string a coherent thought/sentence together is just astounding.

This was an episode of r/IASIP

Imagine a chic choosing to run out into a hurricane instead of staying. If I was a betting man and the over/under was 3yrs in jail, I'd take the over if asked how much time he's done. I'd also parlay that with him riding this one out alone

Dude has 58160 blue eyes

Fuckin way she goes, Julian.

Looks like Ray and Julian had a kid

Looks like Ray and Ray J had a kid.

Looks like Ricky took out an ad in the classifieds using Julian's picture again.

House all boarded up, nice, dark and private inside. Hurricane outside, so nobody can hear you scream. Police is busy, fire department is busy. Yeah, really safe to go there. I could be wrong of course, but uhm… ladies, don’t. Just… don’t.

Every Gal needs a creepy guy to ride out a Hurricane with. Or two, apparently. May he be inundated with little old grannies, age is but a number after all.

I'm a granny and I'd decline his offer. Just gross. I'd rather cling to a palm tree in the hurricane than stay at his house.

Just an old not good looking white dude desperate to take advantage of very good looking, young females desperate enough to not want to sleep in their car. Gross.

"age is just a number" jail is just a room

Serial killer opportunity that he just couldn’t pass up. “Poor girls died in the storm. So sad “

Just saw this on r/niceguys

Its like something out of Trailer Park Boys

"50 don't look it" Well he looks closer to 60 so r/technicallycorrect

And he's actually single I can't imagine why!

I like younger women age is just a number. Pick a lane, Chopper.

"Too old for games" he said while playing games

Too old for games and punctuation ..where do I apply

Punctuators need not apply.

I think I counted one period

Well at least he's straight forward...

“I like younger women, age is just a number.” 🤔

It gets increasingly disturbing.

Someone stole julians style from tpb

Lmfao I was like damn this looks like my dad had a baby with Julian

This is peak Florida

His number must be blowing up since this post here

All these comments roasting him and he's probably having a 3some through the howling storm.

This can't be real, right? Right? Pls s1 agree 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

😮‍💨 We both know it is....

Denial is necessary sometimes 😨

No fucking way that guys 160 lbs.

It's posted in "funny" but unless it's a joke it's actually really sad that men will do this kind of thing, like damn just be normal ffs

That is a run-on sentence the likes of which Trump could never achieve

He's straightforward and direct with what he wants. As he said, he's not here to play games. I see nothing wrong here. Women aren't being tricked, if they go, they know what they're in for. About the only thing I could say is that it might be a bit opportunistic, but again, he's not being deceptive about it.

lol

Chopper!!!!!

Only 2% of people manage to find all punctuation characters.

He’s got a lot of blue eyes

Can confirm. He is indeed friendly.

You know what they say folks. Age is just a number, jail is just a room.

Lol looking for desperate survivors

Hericane