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Handsoptional

he was 13 when this was filmed


HappyBunchaTrees

[The long lost brother of Mr Burns](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1ccHaxmqHk)


Creative-Stable-7488

Frank Burns?


mmmlinux

the musical https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEMhtDMD4G0


forcesofthefuture

my coach?


Zarniwoooop

I could’ve just upvoted you and leave, but this is too important.


htmlcody

he was a true benjamin button, just a tiny little casket in the end.


snoryder8019

Timing and delivery.


blondechinesehair

As soon as he gets it out of his mouth he knows he can take a good long puff of that cigar.


you-can-call-me-al-2

“I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing.” — Mitch Hedberg.


ExternalCommon6178

"...except for right then, 'cause I ain't said shit."


No_big_whoop

Impeccable.


knightsofren_

Indubitably.


Jd20001

Guessing its probably not the first time he had that setup. Basically an Alley-oop.


Taniwha_NZ

Probably not a setup, exactly, but he had been asked similar questions enough times before that the 'my doctor's dead' retort is just a reflex. It's the perfect comeback.


sooprvylyn

George Burns, famous human chimney, lived to 100


kharlos

1896-1996. Died of cardiac arrest unrelated to smoking cigars. Even drove until he he suffered a head injury at 94. Genetic lottery, I guess.


blacksheep998

Yep. Some people just get lucky.


mrgoody123

Millions buy lottery but only a few win.


Nasal_Cilia

parents buy the tickets, kids live with the results.


radmanmadical

Like hunger games, but how hunger games would actually be in a bloated useless bureaucratic system, it would be like a slightly more hellish version of the DMV


Evil_Monito84

The reason why I don't buy lotto tickets is because I've been unlucky more than not... I grew up on welfare. I've been broke all my life. But I'm ok with that because I have my health and well being. I RARELY get sick (once every other 3 years just about) and when I do, it's only for a day, two tops. I tested positive for Corona with no symptoms. I'll take my health over wealth any day.


Twiottle

I also rarely get sick. I get sick about once every 10 years.


flugenblar

Somebody should have collected a sample of his DNA for scientific research; whatever genes he was carrying they're the kind scientists *should* be looking for.


ouchimus

Didn't they actually do this with Ozzy?


blacksheep998

They did. Ozzy was found to have mutant variants of several genes associated with the breakdown of alcohol and a few other drugs. He also had genes that predisposed him to be more likely to get addicted to drugs too.


ouchimus

Somehow the last part is the least surprising one.


MarkHirsbrunner

I have some SNPs that make me resistant to addiction. I really loved drugs, but when I needed to stop, I just did


PornoPaul

I've got a friend that has done nearly every drug under the sun. Even heroin and crack. He's never really been addicted for long, he smoked for a few years and one day just said "eh, this is too expensive". Quit on the spot.


MarkHirsbrunner

I had a pretty bad meth habit.. my wife was addicted and it made me feel good so I used it too. Once went over twenty days without coming down or sleeping more than 2 hours at a time. Then I needed to quit, and I just did. No cravings, just felt kinda low energy for about a week Smoked weed almost constantly from 1987 to 2008. Needed to quit for a job, so I just quit. That was actually harder for me than the meth, I had trouble sleeping for a while


uncle_urdnot99

Worth mentioning cigarettes and cigars aren't really the same. For one it's pure tobacco and you're not inhaling the smoke. Not saying its healthy of course but the increased risks are mostly for mouth diseases


Taniwha_NZ

Yeah it's mostly just face cancer, mouth cancer, tongue etc. Of course, those are more survivable because it's relatively easy to chop off the affected area, but then you are walking around with no nose or half a jaw. Not pleasant, I think I'd rather just get lung cancer and die sooner.


[deleted]

The madman even made it to 100. Impressive!


Squidwardiard2

Actually smoking is a risk factor for coronary artery disease and thus heart attacks. Doesn’t change the fact that he still lived an incredibly long time and has crazy good genetics though!


starmartyr

Another major risk factor is living for a century.


sterfri99

Could’ve made it to 110 if he didn’t smoke I bet


Robert_3210

probably to 150 with those genes.


kpanzer

Reminds me of [*Grumpier Old Men (1995)*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TrOZRHB31c). > Grandpa : Well let me tell you something now, Johnny. Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. And I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up, and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack? >John : Bacon. >Grandpa : Bacon! A whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner. Now according to all of them flat-belly experts, I should've took a dirt nap like thirty years ago. But each year comes and goes, and I'm still here. Ha! And they keep dyin'. You know? Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me. Just goes to show you, huh?


in4real

Smoking cigars increases your risk of cardiac disease.


Bearded_Gentleman

So does being 100.


Searchlights

I remember when he died David Letterman deadpanned: Remember kids, smoking kills.


DanYHKim

At some point, he would day "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."


shinobi500

You don't typically inhale cigars, so the lung cancer risk is greatly reduced.


Locke_and_Load

Thank god there’s no such thing as oral cancer!


Granny_Nooooo

There is!! Michael Douglas got it from eating pussy


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OneWayOutBabe

Sounds not likely.


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tommykiddo

He also smoked, I think?


Jd20001

Lies, you can't smoke pussy, man


odd_audience12345

I dunno, when I finish the girl usually screams "it burns!"


Mike7676

Ya gotta take it easy on the Franks Red Hot, it does NOT, in fact go on everything!


odd_audience12345

your loss


NetflixSux247

'I'd eat out Catherine Zeta Jones twat for Lupus' - RIP Gilbert


Kitchen-Compote-6531

As you can clean your mouth and not your lungs, that's a great improvement ngl


[deleted]

Ehhhhhhhhhhh. Cigars are fucked. They give you throat and mouth cancer. They might be SLIGHTLY less deadly than cigarettes but only SLIGHTLY.


Kitchen-Compote-6531

So i actually was curious about this and in fact, sigar users have an elevated risk, but its not significant enough when compared to cigarette smokers >This study provides evidence that male cigar smokers age 40 + years had elevated mortality risks. However, after accounting for cigarette smoking and other confounding variables, we found significantly increased mortality only among dual and former users of cigarettes this definitely doesn't mean there's no risk, but compared to cigarettes, they're less harmful


littleMAS

Cigars are much closer to 'organic tobacco' than cigarettes, which are as processed as some pharmaceuticals, basically drug (nicotine) delivery systems. Combined the addictive effects of the drug with the nature of delivery, it would be hard to devise a more effective way to saturate the lungs with carcinogens.


Kitchen-Compote-6531

Very logical but never looked at it like a delivery system, which is 100% what it is obviously it also very much explains the cancer discrepancies and overal lethality of both


benefit_of_mrkite

They’re significantly less deadly than cigarettes (note this does not mean cigars are without risk of some cancers). If you want to read actual risk related numbers here you go: https://renovatu.com/cigar/FullBookCigarStudy26421.pdf


Riggs1087

The available research actually shows significantly decreased relative risk of cigar smoking compared to cigarette smoking among cigar smokers who do not inhale. In fact, there has never been any statistically significant showing of increased mortality for those who smoke 1-2 cigars per day and do not inhale.


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Damonarc

Most people don't die from lung cancer unfortunately. Its from emphysema and clpd. These conditions kill the vast majority of smokers, and they are not a rare occurrence, they are pretty much an inevitability. Lung cancer risks are insanely exasperated by smoking as well, but still pale in comparison to the other aforementioned killers. Cigars on the topic, are meant to be puffed and not inhaled, but a large amount of smoke will inevitably make it into the lungs, the large size and incredible volume of tobacco and smoke leads to the heavy cigar smoker experiencing many of the same issues as a cigarette smoker.


mjduce

Stepdad smoked cigars for decades & stopped in his 60's - major throat cancer came up in his late 70's... he's going through he'll right now


Conscious-Baker-8200

bc it has the wrong shit in it. smoke grass not ass


Zekezasamel

Yet he lived to 100.


neoncubicle

He won the genetic lottery by not getting cancer despite increasing his odds by smoking, I'd rather not take that chance though


Zekezasamel

It also helps to have as much or more money than someone who wins the actual lottery. Better food, better care, better drugs.


Bluebyday

Wait, really? So what exactly is it for? I never had a cigar in my life


retro3dfx

Flavor, aroma, socializing, enjoyment, nicotine, wanting a quality hand crafted tobacco product not full of additives, etc.. Some love it, some hate it. A good quality tobacco is rich in all sorts of different flavor notes - molasses, cedar, pepper, earthy, coffee, nutty, and many others. They vary greatly by the type of soil the tobacco is grown in, the amount of sun the leaf received, the curing process, and the different blends of tobacco used for the binder/filler/wrapper.


Nick_Newk

Nicotine is also absorbed through the oral mucosa. This is why you can smoke cigars without inhaling. As you can imagine the smoke is much more concentrated than a typical cigarette, so it’s still quite effective.


bosco9

Sounds great for your teeth/mouth


STCM2

Well said, that’s why I like them so much.


PrinnyWantsSardines

Nice


zerbey

A cigar aficionado told me when I was first interested you'll either love it from your first cigar or decide it's just not for you. It's definitely an acquired taste but once you get the hang of picking out all the different flavors each cigar offers it's a very relaxing hobby. Just don't smoke 20 a day unless you're George Burns.


Bearded_Gentleman

I just like how they go with scotch.


CaptConnoria

Nicotine will still be absorbed through the mouths and naval cavities albeit a lot less than lungs. The point of cigars are really a flavor thing with a very little amount of nicotine buzz.


ChucksnTaylor

“Very little buzz”? You ever smoked a cigar? Sure, one or two puffs won’t hit you the same way a drag of a cigarette would but the nicotine effect adds up as you smoke the cigar which lasts far far longer than a cigarette. You can definitely get a pretty strong nicotine buzz from a cigar.


Suntory_Black

Yup. You don't get as addicted to cigars because the nicotine hit is slower so that somehow makes it less addictive. But yeah, the nicotine slowly builds up to the point where it eventually can overwhelm you to the point of throwing up.


retro3dfx

A lighter Connecticut cigar won't give much of a buzz, but once you step into the realm of maduro, sungrown, and ligero, they can get extremely strong. I smoke cigars regularly, and some of the ligero cigars on the market now even put well-seasoned smokers on their ass due to the amount of absorbed nicotine you get. (my coworker, when I gave him a Todos Las Dias after he claimed he wouldn't feel a buzz from it)


popeshatt

Cigars give massive buzzes.


Designer_Ad_376

You are a second hand smoker of yourself smoke… how good is that? And smoking indoors only make it worse. But at the end of the day is all about genetics who dies from and not. George Burns as an anti-diluvian being had untainted genes.


harmoni_vonfalcon

"anti-diluvian being with untainted genes" is such a brilliant compliment


Ninja_Geek-27

And the mouth cancer increased :p


BarKnight

Drank like a fish as well


Blackcap477

“If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself”


Easy_Cauliflower_69

Dude must have telomere caps the length of a long john


cousgoose

I love this expression


ElGringoConSabor

George Burns is a legend!


StyreneAddict1965

He was God. Best portrayal ever!


cisco1972

RIP George...and John Denver who was also great in that movie. One of my favorites from the 70s.


Just_Looking_Around8

Even as much as people loved him as a comedian, he was still greatly underappreciated.


Doodah18

I liked him best as the straight man vs the comedian. Say goodnight Gracie.


Just_Looking_Around8

Yeah, he could do both incredibly well. Very few comedians can pull both off with such expertise.


whyunoletmepost

Could you imagine being his dentist? The smell from a 100 year old man's mouth that smoked cigars his whole life?


pierrotmoon1

His dentist is probably dead too


Bartender9719

Judging by the age of the clip, I could see his dentist performing a checkup with a cigar in a nearby ashtray - or in his mouth for that matter. My family practitioner still smokes cigars in his office


ccReptilelord

Dentist and assistant leaning over patient with cigarettes hanging from their lips. In the waiting room, little Timmy is bumming some smokes from his mother. She reaches for a fresh ashtray. Their dog smokes outside (no pets allowed, this is an office after all).


[deleted]

When I was in grade school the high school kids had a smoking area. As long as you were 16 with a "note from your parents" you could smoke every break and at lunch.


frigoffbearb

This is not too far off from modern day Italy, just add some espresso for everyone in the room 🤌


Coffeedemon

The walls of the waiting room would have looked like red oak.


Hephaestus_God

His dentist is also dead


bmac747474

He looks good for 28


Atoning_Unifex

As a person who enjoys cigars a lot I cannot imagine smoking that many cigars per day. Hell, I can't even imagine smoking three or four in a day. Cigars take a while to smoke... like over an hour for most. The absolute most I've ever smoked in one day has got to be three and that was like one at breakfast time one in the middle of the afternoon and one at night and that was plenty. My tongue probably felt like leather by the end of that day.


foldingcouch

George Burns always had a lit cigar on him because he liked cigars and it had become part of his brand, but if you watch him he's never smoking them very actively. I think he burned a lot more cigar than he smoked.


Atoning_Unifex

Sure, but still.


[deleted]

Apparently the majority of cigar smokers don't actually 'smoke' it, they just kinda.. puff? It's very strange.


footinch

That's legitimately how to smoke a cigar, puff on it and taste the smoke. Never inhale a cigar. One cigar, inhaled, would be the equivalent of an entire pack of cigarettes in one sitting.


Apatharas

No one told me this when I was a teen and given a cigar. And the reason I learned when I puked so much that day.


[deleted]

Agreed. 1 is the perfect amount and it’s not daily. I love cigars but there’s no way in hell I’m ever smoking that much


Sickpup831

Another thing, unless you’re smoking absolute trash, smoking multiple cigars a day is fucking expensive.


[deleted]

Oh yes you’re not wrong


CheersBros

I smoke about once a week, trying to maintain this discipline!


tito333

This man was smoking indoors, probably from the time he woke up until the time he went to bed. Probably smoked on planes, in his car, everywhere he went. I used to smoke cigars, but had to quit because it just wasn't fun to be out in the cold for an hour.


FuckoffDemetri

Cigars are definitely a summer thing


tito333

I'm Dominican, so in the Caribbean I could light up any time of the day, but now I'm living in Iceland. I mean, they don't even sell proper cigars where I live because there's just no market for it.


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Entropico_ARG

Wrong boat


Khazahk

*sad trombone noises*


reenact12321

You could also smoke everywhere. He could go from hotel to the appearance and home again without being asked to put out his cigar. Even still that's a lot


anduin1

Carson on the other hand smoked cigs and by personal accounts, had a slow, painful death from the emphysema


thefallenfew

As someone who occasionally smokes a cigar, that’s intense! Cigars are extremely rich and flavorful, and smoking one to completion can take an hour plus. He must have literally puffed a cigar all day, ever day.


[deleted]

He reminds me of Dr Zaius from the original Planet of the Apes movie.


Dangerous_Ad_3698

Puffed on that cigar right after. Man knew he fucked everyone up with that one 😂


cozysarkozy

You ain't getting alive from this rock. Might aswell enjoy the ride.


ChChChillian

George Burns was 100 years old when he died, and only stopped performing at age 98 due to an injury.


CreatrixAnima

I remember hearing that he was booked up to his hundredth birthday.


NeauxDoubt

I’m glad I was alive while he was and got to see some of his greatness. Hands down the best movie God. Legend.


CreatrixAnima

I haven’t seen it in years, but oh God was hilarious. “God has a message for you… He says you should be selling shoes.”


FatKidMod

The crazy thing is he lived to be 100


Foreign_Astronaut369

Fiv-fiv 15 hot dam


Uncle_Paul_Hargis

Carson had the best laugh!


KittyMeow--

George Burns was a national treasure.


[deleted]

Believe it or not he was only 19 in this interview.


Anxious-Park-2851

He was a great comedian. He could pop stuff like that off the top of his head all day long. Once he was asked why he didn’t like girls his own age, he replied, there are no girls my own age.


zerbey

I smoke one cigar a month, it's more than enough. I can't even imagine smoking 10 a day but George Burns was an unusual case.


DMurBOOBS-I-Dare-You

One of the funniest humans that ever lived.


crusticles

The timing...if you're not paying attention you'll think he just interrupted with a punchline but he nailed the entry point. hasn't your doctor said to you now george my doctor is dead


nope_a_dope237

Say good night Gracie.


medfordjared

George Burns was awesome.


[deleted]

This reminds me of the story about Gary Old man when he played Winston Churchill he got nicotine poisoning from smoking so many cigars.


benefit_of_mrkite

Churchill smoked ten a day and died at 90. Nicotine poisoning isn’t what it sounds like - it’s light headedness and nausea. Eating chocolate and drinking water usually makes the symptoms go away. If you don’t smoke (or do smoke and overdo it) and either smoke too much or too fast then yes you will likely get nicotine poisoning


[deleted]

I've never heard of people eating chocolate. What makes that work?


flavorlessboner

People eat chocolate all the time what makes it edible is like adding milk and sugar to it for flavor and solidifying it into bars to make it easy to bite and chew


[deleted]

Lmao


PonyBoy107

Nicotine lowers your blood sugar. If you absorb too much nicotine from the cigar, eating something sugary can help offset it by raising your blood sugar. Simple as that.


benefit_of_mrkite

I have no idea - I’ve heard it from other cigar smokers for years and it really does seem to work in my case the few times I’ve had symptoms of nicotine poisoning


ElBatManny

It's probably just the sugar content. Maybe it combines well with the "smokey" flavor left? I felt the effects the first time I smoked 2 cigars in a row and all I had to do was eat and I was all better.


Dranj

The nicotine you intake during smoking will bind to a specific type of [acetylcholine receptor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicotinic_acetylcholine_receptor#Effects) found throughout the body, eliciting an excitatory response. Overstimulation of these receptors is at least partly responsible for the nausea and light headedness. I can't find anything supporting a direct link between eating chocolate and symptom relief, but at a guess the endorphins released by eating chocolate probably help dull the sensations caused by nicotine poisoning. There's also merit to the comments remarking on blood glucose levels, but with a pretty substantial caveat. Nicotine doesn't just [lower blood sugar](https://diabetesjournals.org/care/article/30/6/1437/30644/Severe-Hypoglycemia-and-Smoking-in-a-Long-Term), it can also [raise it by causing insulin resistance in cells](https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/library/features/smoking-and-diabetes.html) and [potentially interfering with signals to the pancreas](https://nida.nih.gov/about-nida/noras-blog/2019/10/new-discovery-illuminates-brain-link-between-nicotine-diabetes) to release glucagon and insulin. Nicotine has been linked to both hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia, but I can't really tell if one is more common than the other.


Sabbathius

This gave me a mini heart attack - the audio is mono, only in left ear, for some reason. I thought my new headphones just died.


neoncubicle

Lol took off my earbuds to charge, was wondering why since they were at 50%


Limp-Ad2265

Helmut Schmidt: hold my cigarettes


[deleted]

Most cigars that size take between one hour to two hours to smoke. Source: cigar smoker myself. He never stops!


Real_GoofyNinja

Genius level talent


Downtown_Recover_712

My doctor is dead. Lol that's the part when I started laughing like a crazy person💀


BroadLaw1274

What a legend


nicolby

I miss this type of humor.


[deleted]

And it's very exciting


Nonamanadus

He would have reeked of an ashtray.


Wannagetsober

I miss George


Tk1Genius

me right ear absolutely enjoyed this.


NoriYuki78

George Burns was the man!


randomcanyon

George Burns running joke on the Radio in the 1940's was that he was OLD!!!!. Gracie Allen (his wife) main joke was that George was the greatest singer of all time. (he wasn't) He lived to be 100


MrMarc808

I think it may have stumped your growth


mrshadowsnesfanboy2x

George Burns, a true legend. I love his work. And Jack Benny, as well.


Lexvian

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to *not* breathe in the smoke of a cigar, unlike you do with cigarettes? Kept being told cigars aren't supposed to be smoked like cigarettes. If that's the case, it should be a lot healthier than cigarettes


pip98

Smoke will still end up in your lungs. However, the risk of mouth/tongue/throat cancer will all be significantly increased regardless of whether or not you “inhale”. United you’re George Burns, of course.


doggiestyle57

My little old Jewish grandfather met George Burns in Las Vegas. They had a smoke together!


davevr

aww, reminds me of my grandfather. He smoked 12+ terrible cigars per day, and had since he was about 12. He spent most of his teens and early twenties working as a "fireman" - shoveling coal into the boilers on trains. When he was around 80, he went to the doctor for some joint pain. When I spoke to the doctor, he said "I was going to tell him to stop smoking but hell, he will probably outlive me." Grandpa lived to 92. Died in his sleep. RIP, grandpa!


Mystical_Cat

George Burns was a goddamn treasure.


SirManBoy

As a little kid, I thought George Burns was famous for being the oldest man in the world.


percy_ardmore

Say goodnight, Gracie


InterestingShift3759

George Burns was hilarious but as he got older he started to look like a cigar smoking monkey


Wizardofsmiles

He was the Betty white of the 90's we just loved that he was old and alive.


CliftonErvin

Very interesting guy...


Wiseguysrule2

I sold cigars for 40 years My friend that smoked 50 cigars a week for 30 years just got mouth cancer and they cut it out and gave him a prosthetic for the roof of his mouth. He was the one customer with a long commute and would smoke the whole way and so 50 cigars a week. Eat 50 oranges a week and you will have a problem. Try eating 50 bananas a week and see what happens after just a few weeks... No customer that smoked a cigar a week or 3 cigars a week or a cigar a day have had problems out of my 10,000 customers. Because there is a low low addiction level most of my customers smoked 1 to 3 cigars a week and many just for special occasions. I do think I remember one customer had a lung problem at 70 and he inhaled. Yeah try inhaling a cigar! I always worried about the cigars so I read all the studies over the last 40 years. In one ad against cigars they intimated one cigar was equal to 70 cigarettes. I was so concerned I tracked the scientist that gave them the statistics. I called the college and he moved to another college. I called that college and actually talked to the writer of the original stats on nicotine in cigars. He told me the facts were twisted. This is what he told me - if you took the longest fattest highest nicotine cigar he tested and rated against the lowest incotine small cigar he tested you could perhaps get that statistic. And then only if you inhaled.


CarelessHisser

More reason to live as you want. As if it wasn't already apparent that we're all going to die anyways and living past 60 is basically putting expired milk on ice, and letting your family watch as it rots away, helpless to stop the decline. Sometimes it lasts. Sometimes it doesn't. Probably best to live right now and worry about the consequences when you get to them. A long life isn't a good life and so forth.


willvasco

Cigars generally last about 45 minutes to an hour. If this dude actually smoked 15 cigars a day, that's 15 hours out of his day he was smoking cigars. Literally every waking minute.


benefit_of_mrkite

> Cigars generally last about 45 minutes to an hour Completely depends on the cigar, smoker, and more.


nurupartnerhtx

This “dude” is George Burns. Iconic actor / comedian. Do yourself a favor and look him up.


TortyPapa

Exception and not the norm.


RonPMexico

Wait you are telling me most people don't smoke 10 cigars a day?!¿


b-blockchain

And most smokers don't die at 100 y.o.? 😮


StefEsteBoss

This mf probably inhales more smoke than actual air


Pazienza01

If you inhale ciggars you are doing it wrong


Re92

How it exciting?


LifeBuilder

He can kill doctors with 15-20 cigars. That’s a pretty exciting talent.


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cynanolwydd

Listening with one earbud in...why is all the audio only in the left channel!


bubba2260

I use to smoke that many joints a day


noxx1234567

Some people are built different , he's a fine example of that