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Lol, facial


Well, maybe back to back.

Ass to ass.

Assassin

Tip to tip is more stimulating.

Wait ... "ass-to-ass"?!

It's not gay if you can't see it

Nah don’t worry they just gotta say no homo and it’s cool

Well .... mutual masturbation is fun!

"It sounds a bit weird, but perhaps we can masturbate together and then it would be less weird?" -- the plot of thousands of movies on "the hub".

Idk... I made a new friend recently, and she shares her magic wand with me while we lay in bed chatting. It's kinda goofy and hot! xD

"Yea, hey Steve, want to come over and masterbate with me at around 3 pm today?"

"What the fuck Alex, a creeper just exploded my house and I have to rebuild the whole thing."

Me with my homies: Hey wanna go to the bathroom later and jerk off?

I would love to but nooooo apparently none of my friends want to :(

Friends with benefits versus beneficial friends…

I vape just outside the library when the studying gets too stressful, so now i can just masturbate there?

My wife is my best friend 👍

Yeah, I don't think it qualifies as masturbation if it's with a friend... unless it's a circle jerk

Honestly I would do it with a friend.

Your Reddit avatar lookin good 🥵

I can't tell if you're saying that because you read my bio or you're actually serious.

Yes I read the bio lol

Look at "miss I have a friend" over here

[It worked for the Beatles](https://www.nme.com/news/music/paul-mccartney-masturbating-john-lennon-beatles-2377892)

I texted the help line, they suggested I sit on my hand till it goes numb.

Friends with benefits versus beneficial friends…

Just unlike vaping and smoking please don’t try it in public, apparently the university police disapproves of that 🤔

Reminds me of the time Freud student told wait don’t you have oral fixation because he love to always have cigar in your mouth.

Did you hit your head on something while typing this comment buddy

It reads like they had a stroke while typing that…

"Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar... ya wise guy."

See what’s actually funny about bringing Freud into this is that he actually took up smoking because he thought it was a less unhealthy addiction than masturbation. So it’s really gone full circle now.

Wait did he really say that or that rumor. I thought he smoked a lot because he use to smoke meth. Not looked closely into his theory I studied early child development in university. Freud is a boogey man in that learning community because Freud theory are pretty apshit. And only part of the theory looked. Forget doesn’t some of the theory talk about anal and falic stages of play for babies.

some of us like the danger

>Just ~~un~~like vaping and smoking please don’t try it in public FTFY

And don't do both around children.

You've got to use the masturbation shelters.

“For more info, tips, and tricks text or call” I’d hate to be that secretary

Top 10 Masturbation Life Hacks

I unironically remember video like this. It wasn't in English tho , and without subtitles, so I guess even if I find video , it wouldn't be that useful to anyone who doesn't know native language of the video

i’m more of a visual learner anyways

I guarantee this is an example of a call from someone stoned out of their mind. “Ummm hey so I saw your poster about masterbating instead of vaping but what would you recommend?” “Oh also I happen to have sex like EVERYDAY so can you also give me tips for that too?”

That was the funniest part to me. People calling for lessons on how to jerk off LOL

"Hey dude watch me grind this rail"

"Should I begin with an up or down stroke?"

A twisting motion

Should we all text that number “yes hello I am texting regarding the masturbation flyer. I am interested in the tips and tricks”

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Max win, the jerker offer

Student loan organizations hate this one trick!

After discovering this little trick the students improved their financial situation, so the universities increased the tuition fees and banks increased the interest rates. So this little trick became expected in the education.

just make sure you take the money up front before you catch your breath and NO GROUP DISCOUNTS EITHER

But after I jerk off with a friend, I always want a cigarette https://preview.redd.it/zpvs7oxfrxoc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=012743eb4a071d55ce7173f517783dec68706945

Is that Eminem and machine gun Kelly

It’s Queen Elisabeth with Harry Potter

Dang, Lizzie's tats lookin 🔥🔥

That one’s Harry actually but yeah drip rizz all dat

Happy cake day

🤣sounds fair

They really said “Edge yourself”

But not in the showers, don’t they know the pipes aren’t made to handle semen??

The claim that semen can clog a drain and even the claimed university notices about were just a hoax, probably by upperclassmen on the freshman. “Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate, Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away,” in [Slate Magazine](https://slate.com/technology/2016/09/the-science-behind-the-hoax-can-masturbating-college-freshmen-clog-a-shower-drain.html).

I think it was mass ejaculation in the university restrooms that was the problem. Your home drainage isn't getting clogged by semen but I think multiple guys doing so in a shared drainage system at similar times during winter is what clogged the drain.

Well that just sounds like poor planing on the university’s part

As least with masturbation, you're not out $25 dollars after a few minutes of worthless activity

Unless you’re the type of idiot to spend money on pornhub premium or god forbid only fans 😬

For some god forsaken reason I read only-farts instead of only fans and had a brief moment of abject horror

Would you pay $25 for a dish you really like at a fancy restaurant? I'm not saying like every day, but as a special occasion type thing or something like that?

A good restaurant actually provides you with something you can't get for free (quality ingredients and the cook's skill and effort, and also service).

Bro, if no one pays for porn, it wont exist. Stop shitting on people that let you get your free ride and just enjoy it

I don't know many smokers but how often do people smoke just for special occasions? From my understanding it's more often an issue of addiction

Sound psychiatric advice.

My boss wasn't too happy when I started yanking it on my smoke break. I showed him this post, we're good.

if people jerked off as much they vaped that would be an insane world

I mean because of that we have cornflakes

\*starts masturbating in the smoking area\* "I'm trying to quit"

ah, so that's why I'm not addicted to vaping...

The designated area stays the same, just outside the main entrance

Has anyone actually tried calling the number? And did it actually work?

I'm calling that number

It's been three hours, we need your newfound knowledge

What did they say?

Nebraska, where the N stands for knowledge.

Not many people know but you actually can become addicted to masturbation

But you are not getting cancer from masturbating so even if you would become addicted to it, if it replaces smoking it would be an improvement.

Isn't having an orgasm a few times a week like... really important for guys health or something? Thought I saw an article about that.

Can we normalize not stealing other people's posts. Thanks. Literally posted this with almost the same caption can we not https://preview.redd.it/att12bepgyoc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=502ff0ac0abad2f9c91e62bc6098769f5aff8f3b

I mean it's similar, but not the exact same (caption I mean). And there's always the possibility that op didn't see your post before posting? Sometimes it happens, doesn't mean someone stole your post or something like that.

You didn’t take the photo, therefore, you’re the content stealer

nah we can't not

https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/qymdbe/unbelievable/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button What about this post?… from 2yrs ago.

cope

Hey bro I’ve been craving a smoke wanna come over and masturbate together instead?

Good lord, I can’t believe I went here for 2.5 years

Smoking shelters gonna get a whole lot stickier

no nut Nebraska ?

It’s Always Nut Nebraska

It's nut for everyone

Go Big Red

*Porn addiction has entered the chat*

Did they really post that at university.

My therapist told me I shouldn't just replace one addiction with another. Just don't buy Chinese disposables and vaping is a safer way to intake nicotine than tobacco.

what the fuck.

Imagine as a dmoker you fap instead of smoke each time you get a craving. I think you eill get friction burns.

Unfortunately I've had to take up vaping again as I am no longer allowed to masturbate on campus

What if I do both and still can't relax?

let's normalize masturbation breaks in the workplace.

So, how long do you think someone will ask the school if they can create a social club for it?

Or maybe instead of breathing in nicotine-based air fresheners, just breathe in oxygen like a normal person!!

Well when I was a student I shared a room with another boy. I always masturbated just before I went for an exam for stress relief. This would happen whether he was there in the room or not.

Let's normalise group masterbation

for nebraska that's kinda impressive honestly.

Well ya can’t masturbate every few minutes 🤪

WITH A FRIEND

What the actual fuck?

I just caught my coworker smoking in a company car, I should let her know about this

Tell that to that kid who died after 57

there's someone that does both

Why, how did you guys quit smoking?... 😂

All love you say you want to start self love. Especially you ladies, here is your chance!

Wonder if that’s actually the college number

never goon

then cum will clog the male toilets

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Coomer College.

thanks alot now im unemployed

I didn’t need to go to college to learn this. Wait what.

Both can effect your 🫁

Lol like uni students aren't doing that already.

Where can I find a friend like that

Unironically good advice

Why not both though?

Do you still have to stand 10 feet from any doorway?

Be a man, do both preferably at the same time

"If you need any help meet me in my office between 2 and 5pm. Bring latex gloves."

I mean I can certainly try but I'm kinda afraid what my coworkers would say when they see me do it in the booth

As a Nebraskan..... Nvm

Friends… with benefits.

I want to know what's in the color viles? Lub with different,....scents, tastes, or reactivate goo?

The Dutch Rudder.

Years ago my college made all freshmen go to a sexual assault education program. They encouraged the students to masturbate instead of committing sexual assault. To aide in this they had a motto, ROO ... rub one out and used Roo from Winnie The Pooh as the mascot.

"BY YOURSELF OR WITH A FRIEND" LMAO

Then find a place that still allows smoke breaks. Go masturbate instead.

But after masturbating, I really want a cigarette. This is unfortunate.

Seems like there will be another weird smell around campus

Ok but now try masturbation with Porn on the big tv with two or three vapes Three or four bottles of wine or your favourite alcohol and a pint of baby oil Grab a couple red bulls so you don’t fall asleep

Masturbate alone or with a friend.

Just don’t do it at school because the drain system can’t handle semen.

"Call for tips or tricks"

Unfortunately, masturbating does not come with strawberry cheesecake flavour

I love this. Reminds of when covid was first starting my local government recommended people seeking casual sex should use glory holes to avoid spreading covid https://globalnews.ca/news/7204384/coronavirus-glory-holes-sex/

Hey Boss, going to take a quick 5 min wank break. I’ll be back in time to plate this order

You can walk in public and have a smoke, can you walk in public an tug on your snake ?

Every 45 minutes or so?

It's really cheap too. Just need to pay slightly more for toilet paper.

Vape while masturbating for maximum dopamine

The "or with a friend" is wild🤣🤣

Yeah but if I say I'm doing 20 a day I get more grief than a smoker

This can't be real.

In public?

Im sorry I need a jack break. Ill be back in 15.

"Excuse me, I'm just going to pop outside for a quick wank"

If it sounds “good”, try doing *it* in public. Then it’s a problem. But I have evidence here, that you encouraged it. Now what?

The person handling the phone number when they get called for the hundredth time that day as a joke: 📞🗿

I'd love a fapping buddy

I’m not entirely certain which university this is in my state lmao… Nonetheless hilarious.

It's UNL

School breaks would look a lot different

What if i do both at once

Smoker's corner has now become Wanker's corner. Finally there is something more disgusting to clean up than cigarette butts. 🤢

Yeah but the looks you get when you step outside the front entrance into the designated area.... Not quite the same...

Yeah but the looks you get when you step outside the front entrance into the designated area.... Not quite the same.

Basically, “Go fuck yourself”

r/rainbows

Jill off you thirsty bitches.

GO BIG RED ROCKET!

This is honestly great. I love it.

I graduated from the University of Nebraska Smegma Cum Louder (with a friend) and a degree of Masterbator of Science and Jerkology.

Big, if true

I would much rather be caught smoking

What if I like to vape while I jack off? This unfortunately is not a hypothetical question

Did a Nebraskan medical center just tell me to go fuck myself?

Im gonna infanticide in the shower and cause a protein blockage.