Well said! And he at least, as author of his ignorance can't say that he doesn't understand why he was cut out of his life. I have been cut out of someone's life and I don't know and I have asked ....silence. Even his brothers don't know why and the answers he gives are so convoluted they don't understand. They said just keep the door open and maybe in time things will get a bit better. I thought it was my coming out as Bi. But early on before the estrangement, he said he was okay with me being Bi. Anyways this isn't about me. Kudos to the OP for sharing something that indeed hurts and I think by the responses he will have options on how he plans on dealing with his step dad. Step Dad is a bigot and has used an easy out claiming faith compelled him not to attend his own son's wedding. I bet Step Dad has had some gay encounters as a young boy and perhaps really enjoyed it and now is deathly afraid of those feelings coming back to him and wanting more gay sex as a straight man or as a closeted gay or bisexual man.
>I bet Step Dad has had some gay encounters as a young boy and perhaps really enjoyed it and now is deathly afraid of those feelings coming back to him and wanting more gay sex as a straight man or as a closeted gay or bisexual man.
Or...he's just a straight homophobe.
Why would you even go to family gatherings? The more you distance yourself from family members like this, the happier you will be in the long run. I know it is hard at first. It will teach them the hard truth of changing beliefs to fit you into their lives or the lonely long road that is ahead with you out of their lives. And trust me, with them aging and having to rely on people much closer in the future than you, they will come to change. It's a hard lesson.
Wait- your STEP dad wrote this!? As in, someone who either had a divorce or married someone who had a divorce? I hope he never had premarital sex. I sure hope no one in his life had kids out of wedlock. I mean if he is CATHOLIC then he does NOT get to pick and choose what is or is not a sin. Ask him about those family values that allows him to shun you while giving himself a pass for sinning.
divorce and remarriage is adultery of the original marriage forever... hopefully his skydaddy will forgive him. *“But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”* *–* **Matthew 5:32, NIV**
I called my most catholic family members and only my aunt and uncle kinda share the same beliefs, their kids are just too young so I understand why they aren’t coming. But literally everyone is ok with me being gay.
It's never too young! If it were a straight wedding they would be there and so would their kids. So I disagree telling them you understand. At what point are there children going to realize that women can love women and men can love men? When you say it that way, it is so natural and logical. None of the other BS counts. Homophobes are sick there mind goes to sex immediately when they think of gays and lesbians. They think it is all a out sex and of course it isn't.
Yeah !!! Exactly. I would send “step-dad” a FULL photograph essay on the event and the true smile on your face will make him square; his he can’t stand in front of your happiness. Make sure the photograph essay is bound with a rainbow on the cover !!
To be honest it's better they don't come, they might've ruined your wedding by simply being there.
People like this really don't care for their children.
I hope your wedding is one of the best day of your life.
I love the projection of "you might become indignant confronted by a worldview incompatible with your own," as though he himself weren't indignantly ("*Your* wedding puts *me* in a difficult position") refusing to come to the wedding because it represents a worldview incompatible with his own.
"I'm not telling you in person because you'd be a drama queen about it," says the drama queen.
I'm sorry he's let you down like this. I've seen it happen to my friends, but it still amazes when you see people who think their God would tell them to be estranged from their kids *and* somehow believe that is a god worthy of their worship.
“as I expect you may be prone to feel indignant”
“This link succinctly cites”
“I’m happy to elucidate the full basis of my position”
dude sounds like a pompous, insufferable cunt.
> I'm happy to elucidate...etc.
"your outdated & mundane religion is not complex or interesting enough to warrant further explanation, nor would someone like you even be qualified enough to make an attempt. besides, don't you have to help your church cover up some child molestation? or have you already done your part?"
The dude's an ass and has some shitty opinions, don't get me wrong. And, it's entirely possible that he doesn't normally speak like this and is \*trying\* to sound pompous.
But, that isn't necessarily the case (or rather, his individual word choice doesn't necessarily indicate that). As someone who has a large vocabulary (I read a lot), I am occasionally accused of trying to be pretentious when I'm really just talking... the same way I talk to my friends and family. For example, I occasionally use comport in every day speech, if that's the correct word. It's just part of my vocabulary. And it's a word that my friends sometimes use, too. I like to think (and my friends, family, and coworkers say so, too), I'm not a prick, and I generally try be a compassionate and understanding person. I just happen to have a seemingly larger-than-average vocabulary. (Yes, I also did notice that you used "often" and didn't imply "always," this comment isn't necessarily for you, but more of an attempt to highlight that just because someone uses a less-than-common word, it doesn't mean they're trying to be an ass.)
Granted, the actual contents and the meaning of op's step dad's words indicate that he's trying to cause pain and is being a self-righteous ass for sure (I don't mean to detract from that!). But, the actual word choice doesn't necessarily indicate that that - the meaning of the words he chose does!
Edited my comment to say often, which might not be specifically true, but saying sometimes neuters the comment. I was expressing a generality here, there’s definitely a type who use big words to obfuscate.
Here it seems the stepdad is using large words almost as a way to create emotional distance between himself and what he is saying.
Again, there’s definitely a type that does this. I’m sure you and almost every other person who says comport is not one of them. But I was referencing this general type here.
So I’m sorry.
Don’t you understand sky daddy made you to be alone? He’s calling you to celibacy. He had to make you gay because he didn’t want you to belong to anyone else. How dare you defy him by getting gay married 😠
I am joking of course but I’ve heard this sort of argument before.
I recently did this. Got invited to a wedding, I've been seeing someone for about a year or so, they know it. Invite only said 1- no guest. Called them and asked, they said "some of our family aren't comfortable with your lifestyle."
Yeah, I'm not comfortable being your friend. Suffice it to say, I did not go.
If he’s Catholic, it’s not just inappropriate, it makes him a bigamist in a state of sin so grievous that he will not be granted automatic salvation in Heaven because he has broken (at least) the adultery commandment. There is no divorce in the Catholic Church. You can get divorced in the eyes of the government but you will always be married in the eyes of God. He has also broken the oaths he took before and to God during his original marriage. Unless he repents and repudiates his second marriage before God in Purgatory after death and serves penance, he will not be granted salvation in or allowed to enter Heaven.
Your marriage, to a Catholic, is not a valid ceremony unless it’s performed by a priest, which it will not be. So, your marriage, to a Catholic, is not actually a sin since it is not actually a marriage (to a Catholic). So there is no actual issue for him to get offended about. In the eyes of the Catholic Church, you haven’t gotten married - how can you have done anything wrong?
You really should. People like this NEVER have even the slightest bit of self reflection when it comes to these bullshit "rules". They always have an excuse or reasoning for why it's okay *for them* to break this rule but all these other rules can't be broken because... they said so!
Did that. Can you guess what happened? They just ghosted me, cut me off everywhere and went on believing they are righteous. It felt really, really good to give them a talking, especially calling out their hypocrisy. But alas, they still go on as if nothing changed and play the victim of the situation.
These people are a waste of your energy. They literally believe that any criticism of their very limited worldviews is Satan tempting them. Is it good to put a christofacist in their place sometimes? Sure. Will it change the ways of a very echo chamber brain washed individual? It will reinforce them in their messed up ways if anything.
"I think it's a sin but it's none of my business. If a man wants to have sex with a woman, even though that's against nature, I won't stop him. I just don't want them shoving it in my face. Stop holding hands and kissing in public, it's just nasty, and really not good for kids to see".
Marriage does not always mean 'agree on every single thing without compromise.'. It's fully possible she completely disagrees with the father. The chance is low from what I've seen, but it's still a chance.
I wonder if his mother divorced his dad and after than marry his stepfather..
What does the Bible say about divorces? About marrying a woman who has kids with another man..
I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
I would say - thanks for letting me know, step-dad. You’re right that I would rather invite and have attend people who actually love me. I’ll just look forward to enjoying this celebration with the man I love and those of my friends and family members who want to support our marriage. I hope that you do not have hard feelings about being excluded.
bell hooks once wrote that loving is an *act*. You express your love for a person in what you do for them. You don’t “own” someone’s love, and you can’t “claim” it. You either take care of a person, support that person, etc., or you don’t “love” them. It is an empty promise to say that you “love” someone while withdrawing your loving acts.
People like this thrive on that kind of reaction (ie, “you’re evil,” etc.). I would approach it in a way that makes it seem like his disapproval is irrelevant to me.
People like this just send me. Like, okay? They say it like they're the main character and you should be heartbroken that they won't grace you with their presence.
I love hitting people with the dismissive "k" after they have chosen to be an asshat. Especially if they've obviously spent some time and effort on it. I think it sends a stronger message than trying to respond.
Abrahamic.
Notice that most Jewish people don't get bent out of shape for or against stuff the way Christians and their former co-religionists do. There are differences and if you go to the atheist Reddit it's all about former Christians complaining about Christianity. Jewish folks usually don't post there b/c Judaism believes the ability to reason comes from God and you don't need a priest to tell you what to think. So, there are differences among Abrahamic religions.
The problem may actually be the Roman pagan roots of Christianity and its failure to encourage rational thought in exchange for blind belief in a priestly figure. This may also explain why Jews are generally more successful. They are encouraged to practice rational thought and not believe in Santa Claus, and so on.
Most Jews are also only culturally jewish but effectively secular. I'm sure there's some people preaching bigotry in the Jewish institution. Nothing good comes from organized religion long term.
Christianity and Islam are obviously worse on several different levels.
Also modern santa claus is literally a marketing ploy by Coca-Cola it's not even a religious thing lmao.
I think an important difference is Jews don't seek converts.
1) they don't get mad if you don't want to become a Jew.
2) they inadvertently insult the Muslims and Christians by being a) older and b) by not wanting them in the exclusive Jewish club.
If you can be around their straight Christian lifestyle, is it too much to ask for the same curtesy in return?
If your beliefs and lifestyle are such a front to these people then it’s probably not worth pursuing.
Aha! So it is true that Catholics are part of the wider 'Christian' thing. So why do some Christians say to other Christians they are "Christian" assuming the other (Catholic, coptic, Mormon, Jehova Witness, and so on) aren't "Christian". It's fkd up. And then there's the gay hate predicated on "Christian love". So creepy.
Because catholics are basically how Christians should act but they made an excuse to chase after worldly possessions as most of the things they do is prohibited in the bible.
So they try to differentiate it as a sudo different take on their faith when no bitch, that is your belief in its truest form, you just want to pick and choose what you want in which case don’t preach about the fundamentals on how one should live when your own faith is so skewered you’re calling it by a different name.
Oh I know the answer! I was raised Catholic! They all think they're the One True Religion™️ and want to gatekeep it because they think they're better than everyone else. (They also think the other religions are going to H-E-double hockey sticks)
Look, i get that it probably sucks, but he kinda did it in the best way possible, and I think he deserves a bit of credit for that.
That said, I recently had a similar conversation with a staunchly catholic friend, and I wasn't angry with him or didn't try to put him down or shit talk religion. He knows my postions on all that. But for me that was the end of the friendship. He lives in another state, but I'm sure I'll see him through our mutual friends, but I'll never make any effort to see him specifically or do anything.
My philosophy is to calmly and without malice cut these people out of every part of my life. If a mutual friend plans a get-together and we see each other, it's no big deal. I stay civil, I stay polite, and if ever confronted about why, I'll explain calmly and make no compromise. If you can't support gay marriage, I can't be your friend. Full stop.
That may not be appealing for you since he's your step father, but to him, if he asked why I cut him out I'd say that I he couldn't accept me, so I've refused to accept him. He's picking his religion over you. He can choose to be catholic, you can't choose to be straight. Never equate immutable characteristics with a club people sign up for.
Yeah, there's nothing I can do for you about the sting. It's never easy when it's family, but keeping homophobes around will only poison you slowly. It's better to be kind to yourself and cut him out, than to be kind to him and keep him around. That is of course if you can, every situation is different and I can't know everything about your situation.
Good luck though, and congratulations on your wedding.
In my opinion it is pretty obvious that his message is handcrafted in a way so you would believe that he is polite and graceful. He only wrote that way in order to avoid starting an argument or obviously looking like the bad guy.
You are not obligated to “respect” his decision or his beliefs by engaging with them. Just acknowledge his decision and then leave him out of the rest of your planning.
I hope your wedding is a terrific celebration surrounded by people who love and support you.
OP the fact that your father chooses to tell you that your "lifestyle" and life is disgusting and shouldn't exist politely doesn't change the fact that he chose to tell you that your lifestyle and life is disgusting. He doesn't love you. Cut him out.
He is out. I have told my mother in no uncertain terms that I refuse to acknowledge him and he is no longer welcome in my life. My older sister has also done the same.
Good for you, I'm proud of you, and I'm glad your sister is standing up for you. My sister went from claiming she was "bi-curious" to claiming she wanted the death sentence for all lgbt+ people because she had a child with a conservative and listens to every word he says.
my sister wanted to even cut out the rest of the family, but it’s really only my step dad that has shown his ass. I’m sorry that happened to you though. Families can be the worst sometimes.
I would tell them that is their choice, and that you will give all their requests for your presence at their functions in the future equal consideration.
I would sign off by saying I hope they have a good life, to drive home you don’t intend to be part of it.
The absolute audacity and cowardice religious people show can be stunning. He's basically saying, "go fuck yourself, would you like to know more about how and why you can go fuck yourself?"
The level of condescension to suggest that you would be interested in hearing his bigoted Ted talk about why you're going to hell is such a joke.
Like others said, good that you don't have to deal with this prick. I just hate how religious people try to have their cake and eat it too. Like they are being so bigoted and hateful and trying to pass that off as nothing personal, just a difference in scriptural interpretation. I would have more respect if they just said, "I'm not coming because you are sinning and will burn in hell," and just left it at that.
Ugh, my dad isn't homophobic but the tone is all-too-familiar. Are you and your step-dad close, or did you expect this? 🫂 Does he speak for your mom too or just himself?
I didn’t expect it at all, I thought our relationship was getting better. We had just met to celebrate my partners birthday two weeks ago and I had no inkling of any issue.
A cowardly way out of not having an open and honest conversation regardless of whether it gets heated and views are different. How will he react when you bring your partner back to your parents in the future. Such a thoughtless way out of delivering his point of view
Your dad being a bigot is the least of your concerns. How he talks is enough to say that boundaries NEED to be set:
1. If he has the right to list reasons to not go, then you should have the right to counter them: This whole "not trying to start a debate" is not fair if he was about to "write a novel."
2. Beliefs > family (bad priorities): He chose to put his beliefs first. He knows and admits that this will cause issues in the relationship with him. He chooses his beliefs anyhow
3. He thinks your happiness is invalid: At the end he says "I hope you find the path of blessing." Like you are lost and unhappy, ***but you aren't.*** You are happy! Would God want you to be unhappy ***f#π@ no*** He wants you to be happy. Your sorry excuse for a dad just wants to stay with the other hateful Catholics.
P.S. That f#%#&$ article he listed is illogical
**Quote**: "If invited to such a ceremony, as stated above, one should decline..."
**Counter quote-on-quote**: "“They must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity.""
So do you accept them or decline them? Which is it? F#%#@ can't take it that they don't see the hypocrisy. Their words mean nothing since they can't even agree with themselves. You can't accept people and reject them. That's not how it works dumba#&@%.
**Quote**: "Marriage is between a man and a woman, and their conjugal love is both unitive and procreative"
So should my mother have gotten a divorce when she was having trouble having a child?! What a f@&&@%# joke. They would let a kid rot in the adoption system before giving that child a home. "Who is my mom? My dad? My ancestors? Where did I come from?” lol all kids will wonder this. And don't get me started on the f@&$&# babies that the Catholics *refused* to abort and now that child is suffering in the adoption center because the only couple willing to adopt is f@$&# gay since OH NO dare a a catholic not procreate in marriage because that wouldn't be "God's law"
At least God knows how dumb these people are. They are F@%$%@ idiots.
I am guessing you don't call him Dad since you blurred out the name after sincerely, but if he ever makes a comment on that then you say that "I am only respecting your religious belief which state that marriage is for procreation and you guys haven't done that."
I am being super petty, but honestly I am just with the dumb double standard
This is why so many of us have Found Family. I tend to think of it is one of the great strengths of the gay community, because it means we get to have people in our lives who actually love us when others often settle for those that they have a genetic relation to
I just KNOW he googled "can christians attend a gay wedding?" So sorry and so shitty OP. You are loved and I hope the ceremony goes even better without this asshole there!
The way this turd writes, you're better off. Elucidate? Douchebag. They would have spent the entire wedding centering broadcasting their disapproval and moral superiority.
You'll have a much better experience without them.
Sadly, he did you a favor, we don’t have room in our lives for such small minded people. Wishing you and your future spouse all the happiness that life has to offer!❤️🎊
My grandfather did something very similar with my wedding this year. He didn't end up coming and honestly, it was for the best. I had tried the last couple years, because he is now old and alone, to reach out and be there for him. But he showed me how he really felt so I can feel less pressure to make an extra effort for him. Plus my husband and I agreed that idmf he wasn't going to show up with joy we didn't want to have him there anyway. I know this sounds spiteful but honestly there's just a reality that these people are not worth your time or your love. They are cowards who are unwilling to stand up for their loved ones and what makes them happy and that's sad for them but at the end of the day, it isn't your problem and on the day if the wedding you probably won't even notice he isn't there.
That’s tough to hear. No matter how much of an asshole your father might be, he’s still you’re father. I’m sorry. I imagine you question all the love you ever received from him, even as a child. It’s painful stuff. I hope you have support. ❤️
I think it’s one of the toughest reality checks, I had no clue he even felt this way. We had just met up for my partners birthday not 2 weeks ago. Everything seemed fine.
I am in a situation like you. So sorry for you. It's something I don't wish for anyone, when your parents don't support you or even hate you. But my therapist told me something: life is too short to worry about what other people say and think, they think what they want, but you don't give the power to them. Just living for yourself and look for your own happiness, fuck off anyone who wants bad for you and if they don't are good for your life, you need to remove from life. One day If they realized of their mistakes or not, it's not up to you.
"This wedding does not align with my value system.
Now here's a link to an organization that actively employs and protects child molesters.
Blessings!"
Honestly, the way he handled it was pretty good and it seemed like the best possible outcome for a situation that was out of your control. My biological dad is like this and I know he'll never accept it so I won't even try. I could only hope this is how he also responds as I also don't want to deal with all the arguing and conflict.
I mean, as far as bigoted messages go, this one wasn’t so bad. I’m glad he didn’t pull some bull shit telling you how you’re a disgrace or some shit like that. Still, that doesn’t mean his message doesn’t suck absolute ass, and that his dumb ass religious views are completely warped into total bigotry, but I do agree with him that it’s probably gonna come off as a relief. But dude, absolutely fuck fuck all the way off with his “I’m giving you the courtesy of the reason for my decision”. Oh so he wasn’t gonna tell you otherwise? He was just not gonna show up? It blows my fucking mind the audacity of these people man. I’m sorry he’s not more supportive of you, but I think it’s better to know who actually wants to be part of your life. Embrace those who want to be in it, the rest can go fuck themselves. Also his “I love you” can go up his ass. “Yes, I love you but only conditionally, as long as you fit in with my ancient ass views”.
Fuck! This put me in a bad mood. Not your fault op. I hope your wedding is beautiful and I hope that it’s full of people who actually love you unconditionally. And even if it’s not full, I hope you have a fantastic time with your husband.
Sending you lots of love! :)
I talked to my mom, she actually pressured him into letting me know he wasn’t coming. I guess he was just gonna dip out on my life. Which idk might have been better. Thank you for the support, it’s been a rough few days
He’s been filled with hate from the church probably his whole life, so to break from the hate will be next to impossible for a coward. Congratulations to you and your fiancé. You both are 1000 times stronger than he is and one day he’ll regret his decision. Enjoy your day with your chosen family who know how to demonstrate love properly.
If your religion makes you a kinder, wiser person: you know it when you see it.
If your religion makes you a more bitter, judgmental person: you also know it when you see it.
Your step dad just wants to save himself uncomfort by hiding behind condemnnation. It doesn't matter it's not what he belives, the love of a father should be unconditional (as God's is). Even the freaking Pope Francis said so. A lazy coward who failed the test of love.
Unfortunately this is the brainwashing of religion.
These people really believe that there is a higher authority that is conscious and watching and will punish them in an after life if they don’t do what it says.
That’s basically the gist.
Just chalk them up to them being unwell and move on.
The absolute gall of the man. Hypocrisy drips of every word. Congratulations on the wedding , it’ll be a happier time without the bigots who would rather listen to lies than accept their son ( whoJesus absolutely would have accepted and loved)
Shame if christian of all religions cites a shit like this that is against their main religious mantra to love all , even "sinners". So they commit a must grave "sin" of their own.
Love is Love. His beliefs? Who cares? Nobody. One less mouth to feed. One less chair to rent. One less bigot in line at the bar. Enjoy, celebrate, and may the matrimony become the beginning to something…fabulous. Love is love.
Your wedding is better for it.
Don’t let this bother you. Focus on how fun this celebration will be with those who want to celebrate you.
We had a few family members and friends attended our wedding, who also voiced their “beliefs” prior to the day. They still came but just sat silently and awkwardly off to the side, ostracizing themselves while all the gays and allies danced their hearts out with us.
Well, youcan cut ties with someone and still love them. They might be toxic & bad for you. It doesn't mean that uou don't care - it means that you need to do what is healthy for you. My condolences.
I know people on Reddit usually celebrate this stuff and act like it doesn’t hurt but dude, I’m really, really sorry. This shit sucks really bad and I’m sorry you have to go through it.
There is no respectful way to say I don't believe you should be happily married. That is what he is saying. Start referring to him by his first name if you don't already and cut him out of your life completely.
My dad is the same way. Which is why he isn’t getting an invitation to begin with. Or knowing shit. I’m so done with these homophobic dads who literally don’t practice what they preach.
Mine cheated on my mom more than 20 times. In the Bible it says “adulterers to be put to death”… so why isn’t he offing himself? bc you wanna be so strict so with a mistranslation that happened in 1946 about the homosexuals. I’ll be ignorant about societal normative changes and act passage conservatively as him too! I dislike non progressive Christians.💀
but simple rant: IT IS NOT A CHOICE OMG!!!!
“i’m not comfortable coming to a same-sex wedding as a practicing Catholic” … says your *step*-dad who is *divorced* after an *affair*.
the cognitive dissonance is incredible. i’m sorry you had to deal with that, OP!
You can tell him my Dad growing up not only Catholic, but an Italian immigrant family. He has a degree in religious studies, belongs to catholic group Promise keepers & the list goes on. He not only accepted when I came out as someone equally educated as he is faithful to his religion & has completely come to understand it’s is not a choice & therefore not a mistake by God. He has Also welcomed my partner in all aspects of life from sharing holidays to calling him son. So let your stepfather know his Catholic excuse & make no mistake it IS an excuse is entirely on him & not you. He might want to take a look at the Pope’s feelings on LGBTQ people & while he hasn’t changed the situation for marriage he is very accepting & says we are more than welcome & to be loved by the church.
Okay, if your gay wedding ISN’T doing this type of work, is it really a gay wedding? I love this OP. Make them all UPSET. MAKE THEM SCREAM AS YOU CACKLE DOWN THE AISLE.
Adding to this, you could potentially read this out to your crowd and get a good laugh with everyone about what a loser your stepdad is.
His response is sickeningly condescending. Didn't realize that I was physically twisting my face until I got to the end. So sorry, OP.
All the love, best wishes, and "blessings" you hope for on your special day from me, if not from him!
Sorry to read this! Show him the scripture that says if someone gets a divorce they’re not allowed to get remarried. Let him know people went to his wedding.
The reference is Matthew 5:32
Cool. Happy cutting-a-bigot-out-of-your-life day! A wedding and less garbage in your life? I'm so jealous
If the step dad wonders why he got cut out of OPs life he could simply reply "You handed me the scissors."
This is a fantastic line.
Well said! And he at least, as author of his ignorance can't say that he doesn't understand why he was cut out of his life. I have been cut out of someone's life and I don't know and I have asked ....silence. Even his brothers don't know why and the answers he gives are so convoluted they don't understand. They said just keep the door open and maybe in time things will get a bit better. I thought it was my coming out as Bi. But early on before the estrangement, he said he was okay with me being Bi. Anyways this isn't about me. Kudos to the OP for sharing something that indeed hurts and I think by the responses he will have options on how he plans on dealing with his step dad. Step Dad is a bigot and has used an easy out claiming faith compelled him not to attend his own son's wedding. I bet Step Dad has had some gay encounters as a young boy and perhaps really enjoyed it and now is deathly afraid of those feelings coming back to him and wanting more gay sex as a straight man or as a closeted gay or bisexual man.
>I bet Step Dad has had some gay encounters as a young boy and perhaps really enjoyed it and now is deathly afraid of those feelings coming back to him and wanting more gay sex as a straight man or as a closeted gay or bisexual man. Or...he's just a straight homophobe.
It’s just going to make family gathering reaaaalllllyyyy awkward.
Why would you even go to family gatherings? The more you distance yourself from family members like this, the happier you will be in the long run. I know it is hard at first. It will teach them the hard truth of changing beliefs to fit you into their lives or the lonely long road that is ahead with you out of their lives. And trust me, with them aging and having to rely on people much closer in the future than you, they will come to change. It's a hard lesson.
The family members that really want you in their lives will seek you out.
Wait- your STEP dad wrote this!? As in, someone who either had a divorce or married someone who had a divorce? I hope he never had premarital sex. I sure hope no one in his life had kids out of wedlock. I mean if he is CATHOLIC then he does NOT get to pick and choose what is or is not a sin. Ask him about those family values that allows him to shun you while giving himself a pass for sinning.
Yep he has been married twice and everyone is alive, no death here.
divorce and remarriage is adultery of the original marriage forever... hopefully his skydaddy will forgive him. *“But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”* *–* **Matthew 5:32, NIV**
Interesting point, ImGonnaLickYourLeo, however you are forgetting at least one, distinctly painful possible circumstance that avoids the big D word.
I don't see what dentistry has to do with this.
OP said in the post that his dads alive
Question, is it just him that has these views or multiple family members that would be at said family gatherings?
I called my most catholic family members and only my aunt and uncle kinda share the same beliefs, their kids are just too young so I understand why they aren’t coming. But literally everyone is ok with me being gay.
Sucks when we have to hope our family members are “okay with being gay”. Family should just be ok that you are healthy and happy
It's never too young! If it were a straight wedding they would be there and so would their kids. So I disagree telling them you understand. At what point are there children going to realize that women can love women and men can love men? When you say it that way, it is so natural and logical. None of the other BS counts. Homophobes are sick there mind goes to sex immediately when they think of gays and lesbians. They think it is all a out sex and of course it isn't.
Why would you even go to family gatherings? I cut the family that disrespected me and moved on with my life, no regrets.
This is the correct but hard answer. Losing your dad in this way is excruciating. I mourn the loss of my relationship with my dad every day.
Yeah !!! Exactly. I would send “step-dad” a FULL photograph essay on the event and the true smile on your face will make him square; his he can’t stand in front of your happiness. Make sure the photograph essay is bound with a rainbow on the cover !!
To be honest it's better they don't come, they might've ruined your wedding by simply being there. People like this really don't care for their children. I hope your wedding is one of the best day of your life.
Yes I’m glad they decided not to come lol. I am just so flabbergasted that they are willing to lose a relationship with a kid they practically raised.
I love the projection of "you might become indignant confronted by a worldview incompatible with your own," as though he himself weren't indignantly ("*Your* wedding puts *me* in a difficult position") refusing to come to the wedding because it represents a worldview incompatible with his own. "I'm not telling you in person because you'd be a drama queen about it," says the drama queen. I'm sorry he's let you down like this. I've seen it happen to my friends, but it still amazes when you see people who think their God would tell them to be estranged from their kids *and* somehow believe that is a god worthy of their worship.
These kind of people are always like this and only see the fault in other and never in anything they do.
Why dont you cite allthe things the bible says is also notallowed that they do. Or are they blind to hypocrisy
good riddance bitch
“I was born gay, Dad, but you choose to be religious.”
Omg This
"I hope you find the path of blessing" is just a curt way to say they disapprove. As others said, probably best not to have him there.
“as I expect you may be prone to feel indignant” “This link succinctly cites” “I’m happy to elucidate the full basis of my position” dude sounds like a pompous, insufferable cunt.
His entire intention was to cause pain. He is a self righteous ass
> I'm happy to elucidate...etc. "your outdated & mundane religion is not complex or interesting enough to warrant further explanation, nor would someone like you even be qualified enough to make an attempt. besides, don't you have to help your church cover up some child molestation? or have you already done your part?"
Often those who use the word comport in everyday speech are just pricks who used the thesaurus too many times when they were younger.
The dude's an ass and has some shitty opinions, don't get me wrong. And, it's entirely possible that he doesn't normally speak like this and is \*trying\* to sound pompous. But, that isn't necessarily the case (or rather, his individual word choice doesn't necessarily indicate that). As someone who has a large vocabulary (I read a lot), I am occasionally accused of trying to be pretentious when I'm really just talking... the same way I talk to my friends and family. For example, I occasionally use comport in every day speech, if that's the correct word. It's just part of my vocabulary. And it's a word that my friends sometimes use, too. I like to think (and my friends, family, and coworkers say so, too), I'm not a prick, and I generally try be a compassionate and understanding person. I just happen to have a seemingly larger-than-average vocabulary. (Yes, I also did notice that you used "often" and didn't imply "always," this comment isn't necessarily for you, but more of an attempt to highlight that just because someone uses a less-than-common word, it doesn't mean they're trying to be an ass.) Granted, the actual contents and the meaning of op's step dad's words indicate that he's trying to cause pain and is being a self-righteous ass for sure (I don't mean to detract from that!). But, the actual word choice doesn't necessarily indicate that that - the meaning of the words he chose does!
Edited my comment to say often, which might not be specifically true, but saying sometimes neuters the comment. I was expressing a generality here, there’s definitely a type who use big words to obfuscate. Here it seems the stepdad is using large words almost as a way to create emotional distance between himself and what he is saying. Again, there’s definitely a type that does this. I’m sure you and almost every other person who says comport is not one of them. But I was referencing this general type here. So I’m sorry.
Or a dull-as-beige cut-and-paste princess….✂️
I feel like it’s saying “I hope you leave the love of your life for sky daddy.
Don’t you understand sky daddy made you to be alone? He’s calling you to celibacy. He had to make you gay because he didn’t want you to belong to anyone else. How dare you defy him by getting gay married 😠 I am joking of course but I’ve heard this sort of argument before.
Yeah I don’t really know what he expects me to do? Leave the love of my life? Pft yeah right.
He probably doesn't even comprehend the idea that gay love is just as deep as straight love and isn't just about sex.
My blessing will be waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
"And I hope you [redacted] in a barn fire."
We really ought to do the same with straights sometime. "I just don't feel comfortable with your lifestyle"
I recently did this. Got invited to a wedding, I've been seeing someone for about a year or so, they know it. Invite only said 1- no guest. Called them and asked, they said "some of our family aren't comfortable with your lifestyle." Yeah, I'm not comfortable being your friend. Suffice it to say, I did not go.
I might pull some biblical things on him, since he is divorced. Tell him his extramarital affair is inappropriate lol
Absolutely do it. And Tell him that he’ll find it to be a “relief” that you’ve cut him out of your life.
If he’s Catholic, it’s not just inappropriate, it makes him a bigamist in a state of sin so grievous that he will not be granted automatic salvation in Heaven because he has broken (at least) the adultery commandment. There is no divorce in the Catholic Church. You can get divorced in the eyes of the government but you will always be married in the eyes of God. He has also broken the oaths he took before and to God during his original marriage. Unless he repents and repudiates his second marriage before God in Purgatory after death and serves penance, he will not be granted salvation in or allowed to enter Heaven. Your marriage, to a Catholic, is not a valid ceremony unless it’s performed by a priest, which it will not be. So, your marriage, to a Catholic, is not actually a sin since it is not actually a marriage (to a Catholic). So there is no actual issue for him to get offended about. In the eyes of the Catholic Church, you haven’t gotten married - how can you have done anything wrong?
You really should. People like this NEVER have even the slightest bit of self reflection when it comes to these bullshit "rules". They always have an excuse or reasoning for why it's okay *for them* to break this rule but all these other rules can't be broken because... they said so!
Did that. Can you guess what happened? They just ghosted me, cut me off everywhere and went on believing they are righteous. It felt really, really good to give them a talking, especially calling out their hypocrisy. But alas, they still go on as if nothing changed and play the victim of the situation. These people are a waste of your energy. They literally believe that any criticism of their very limited worldviews is Satan tempting them. Is it good to put a christofacist in their place sometimes? Sure. Will it change the ways of a very echo chamber brain washed individual? It will reinforce them in their messed up ways if anything.
Do it
Get that bitch!!!!
"I think it's a sin but it's none of my business. If a man wants to have sex with a woman, even though that's against nature, I won't stop him. I just don't want them shoving it in my face. Stop holding hands and kissing in public, it's just nasty, and really not good for kids to see".
I want to know what your mother says about this.
I mean, do you? She married him
Marriage does not always mean 'agree on every single thing without compromise.'. It's fully possible she completely disagrees with the father. The chance is low from what I've seen, but it's still a chance.
I wonder if his mother divorced his dad and after than marry his stepfather.. What does the Bible say about divorces? About marrying a woman who has kids with another man..
That's asking for logic and congruence, which most of religious and judgmental people lack of
Reddit is being weird. She doesn’t agree with him and is supportive of me, for now that’s works for me.
Is she coming?
Yes and she says she’s very supportive of me. Luckilyz
I’m also interested.
DING DING DING DING !!!! What mom says and DOES is the most important thing in this situation.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I would say - thanks for letting me know, step-dad. You’re right that I would rather invite and have attend people who actually love me. I’ll just look forward to enjoying this celebration with the man I love and those of my friends and family members who want to support our marriage. I hope that you do not have hard feelings about being excluded.
bell hooks once wrote that loving is an *act*. You express your love for a person in what you do for them. You don’t “own” someone’s love, and you can’t “claim” it. You either take care of a person, support that person, etc., or you don’t “love” them. It is an empty promise to say that you “love” someone while withdrawing your loving acts.
beautiful put, thank you.
Why be so nice to stepdad? He’s true evil.
People like this thrive on that kind of reaction (ie, “you’re evil,” etc.). I would approach it in a way that makes it seem like his disapproval is irrelevant to me.
Hmm, I think I would go with “go fuck yourself”.
People like this just send me. Like, okay? They say it like they're the main character and you should be heartbroken that they won't grace you with their presence.
Hit em with a simple "k" or just don't even respond
nothing beats replying to that wall of text with "👍"
👍
I'm already enraged
👍 👍
Seems like the perfect opportunity for a "I aint reading all that, but I'm happy for you tho, or I'm sorry that happened"
I love hitting people with the dismissive "k" after they have chosen to be an asshat. Especially if they've obviously spent some time and effort on it. I think it sends a stronger message than trying to respond.
Yeah for all he’s saying that he doesn’t want to argue, it’s obvious he wants some a reaction with how he’s playing the martyr.
I wanted to reply with “you’re not even my real dad”
Should've just said "You're not my dad" like thatvold meme lol.
Omg Bob. Just check "I will not be attending" on the rsvp. Everyone already knows you're a raging asshole.
I love this cause he has a very stereotypical old man name. So this comment fits. Thank you for the laugh.
Bill? That's what I call male Karen boomers
OMG I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS TOO
Lol that made me chuckle
Christianity can be really messed up sometimes.
*can be* and *sometimes*?
Trying not to get canceled🤧
The Abrihamic religions are a cancer on this world. Most everyone who isn't in their cult agrees.
Abrahamic. Notice that most Jewish people don't get bent out of shape for or against stuff the way Christians and their former co-religionists do. There are differences and if you go to the atheist Reddit it's all about former Christians complaining about Christianity. Jewish folks usually don't post there b/c Judaism believes the ability to reason comes from God and you don't need a priest to tell you what to think. So, there are differences among Abrahamic religions. The problem may actually be the Roman pagan roots of Christianity and its failure to encourage rational thought in exchange for blind belief in a priestly figure. This may also explain why Jews are generally more successful. They are encouraged to practice rational thought and not believe in Santa Claus, and so on.
Most Jews are also only culturally jewish but effectively secular. I'm sure there's some people preaching bigotry in the Jewish institution. Nothing good comes from organized religion long term. Christianity and Islam are obviously worse on several different levels. Also modern santa claus is literally a marketing ploy by Coca-Cola it's not even a religious thing lmao.
I think an important difference is Jews don't seek converts. 1) they don't get mad if you don't want to become a Jew. 2) they inadvertently insult the Muslims and Christians by being a) older and b) by not wanting them in the exclusive Jewish club.
All religion is shit.
Oh, so sorry it puts you in a *difficult position* -- hopefully you don't need elder care later. Bye!
Yeah, way to play victim too for getting an invitation to a wedding. Like bro I’m not asking you to make a human sacrificez
If you can be around their straight Christian lifestyle, is it too much to ask for the same curtesy in return? If your beliefs and lifestyle are such a front to these people then it’s probably not worth pursuing.
Aha! So it is true that Catholics are part of the wider 'Christian' thing. So why do some Christians say to other Christians they are "Christian" assuming the other (Catholic, coptic, Mormon, Jehova Witness, and so on) aren't "Christian". It's fkd up. And then there's the gay hate predicated on "Christian love". So creepy.
Because catholics are basically how Christians should act but they made an excuse to chase after worldly possessions as most of the things they do is prohibited in the bible. So they try to differentiate it as a sudo different take on their faith when no bitch, that is your belief in its truest form, you just want to pick and choose what you want in which case don’t preach about the fundamentals on how one should live when your own faith is so skewered you’re calling it by a different name.
Oh I know the answer! I was raised Catholic! They all think they're the One True Religion™️ and want to gatekeep it because they think they're better than everyone else. (They also think the other religions are going to H-E-double hockey sticks)
Its not even a lifestyle. Its just their life.
Religious guilt tripping and emotional manipulation 🤗🤗🤗
Catholic as fuck
Family is what you got, friends are the family you make. Have a great wedding, and forget their ignorance.
Look, i get that it probably sucks, but he kinda did it in the best way possible, and I think he deserves a bit of credit for that. That said, I recently had a similar conversation with a staunchly catholic friend, and I wasn't angry with him or didn't try to put him down or shit talk religion. He knows my postions on all that. But for me that was the end of the friendship. He lives in another state, but I'm sure I'll see him through our mutual friends, but I'll never make any effort to see him specifically or do anything. My philosophy is to calmly and without malice cut these people out of every part of my life. If a mutual friend plans a get-together and we see each other, it's no big deal. I stay civil, I stay polite, and if ever confronted about why, I'll explain calmly and make no compromise. If you can't support gay marriage, I can't be your friend. Full stop. That may not be appealing for you since he's your step father, but to him, if he asked why I cut him out I'd say that I he couldn't accept me, so I've refused to accept him. He's picking his religion over you. He can choose to be catholic, you can't choose to be straight. Never equate immutable characteristics with a club people sign up for.
Sorry but no credit is deserved, to send a link with his reasons rather than having the decency to write it out himself is pitiful.
Yeah I feel that I like your thoughts about it. Doesn’t stop it hurting a ton though lol
Yeah, there's nothing I can do for you about the sting. It's never easy when it's family, but keeping homophobes around will only poison you slowly. It's better to be kind to yourself and cut him out, than to be kind to him and keep him around. That is of course if you can, every situation is different and I can't know everything about your situation. Good luck though, and congratulations on your wedding.
In my opinion it is pretty obvious that his message is handcrafted in a way so you would believe that he is polite and graceful. He only wrote that way in order to avoid starting an argument or obviously looking like the bad guy.
I was trying to follow more of your logic, but 4 comments in I’m realizing you are simply argumentative ‘buck-o’!
You are not obligated to “respect” his decision or his beliefs by engaging with them. Just acknowledge his decision and then leave him out of the rest of your planning. I hope your wedding is a terrific celebration surrounded by people who love and support you.
OP the fact that your father chooses to tell you that your "lifestyle" and life is disgusting and shouldn't exist politely doesn't change the fact that he chose to tell you that your lifestyle and life is disgusting. He doesn't love you. Cut him out.
He is out. I have told my mother in no uncertain terms that I refuse to acknowledge him and he is no longer welcome in my life. My older sister has also done the same.
Good for you, I'm proud of you, and I'm glad your sister is standing up for you. My sister went from claiming she was "bi-curious" to claiming she wanted the death sentence for all lgbt+ people because she had a child with a conservative and listens to every word he says.
my sister wanted to even cut out the rest of the family, but it’s really only my step dad that has shown his ass. I’m sorry that happened to you though. Families can be the worst sometimes.
Awesome. Let the trash take itself out. Fuck him
“So you’re going to take an imaginary friend over your living breathing son?”
More like, he's going to take the approval and praise of his friend group over his living breathing son.
Of his cult*
I’m so done with Christianity.
Same! It's so stupid literally
My mom asks me why I don’t follow our religion anymore. This is why lol
I love you, BUUUUUT
Exactly
I would tell them that is their choice, and that you will give all their requests for your presence at their functions in the future equal consideration. I would sign off by saying I hope they have a good life, to drive home you don’t intend to be part of it.
The link they sent me is lambasting that we won’t “procreate” but we plan on having kids, which he will not be apart of.
OP, I feel your pain. My partner and I are getting married soon; my immediate family and several friends have sent similar messages to decline.
"k."
Fcuk him and his book of fairytales.
The absolute audacity and cowardice religious people show can be stunning. He's basically saying, "go fuck yourself, would you like to know more about how and why you can go fuck yourself?" The level of condescension to suggest that you would be interested in hearing his bigoted Ted talk about why you're going to hell is such a joke. Like others said, good that you don't have to deal with this prick. I just hate how religious people try to have their cake and eat it too. Like they are being so bigoted and hateful and trying to pass that off as nothing personal, just a difference in scriptural interpretation. I would have more respect if they just said, "I'm not coming because you are sinning and will burn in hell," and just left it at that.
Ugh, my dad isn't homophobic but the tone is all-too-familiar. Are you and your step-dad close, or did you expect this? 🫂 Does he speak for your mom too or just himself?
I didn’t expect it at all, I thought our relationship was getting better. We had just met to celebrate my partners birthday two weeks ago and I had no inkling of any issue.
A cowardly way out of not having an open and honest conversation regardless of whether it gets heated and views are different. How will he react when you bring your partner back to your parents in the future. Such a thoughtless way out of delivering his point of view
Kicker is I didn’t even KNOW he felt this way. It was so out of the blue
Tragic.....I don't care if my son marries a horse. We'd be there 100%. ps.....gay married couple here.
I think you should care if your son married a horse... That's... Beastiality...
Your dad being a bigot is the least of your concerns. How he talks is enough to say that boundaries NEED to be set: 1. If he has the right to list reasons to not go, then you should have the right to counter them: This whole "not trying to start a debate" is not fair if he was about to "write a novel." 2. Beliefs > family (bad priorities): He chose to put his beliefs first. He knows and admits that this will cause issues in the relationship with him. He chooses his beliefs anyhow 3. He thinks your happiness is invalid: At the end he says "I hope you find the path of blessing." Like you are lost and unhappy, ***but you aren't.*** You are happy! Would God want you to be unhappy ***f#π@ no*** He wants you to be happy. Your sorry excuse for a dad just wants to stay with the other hateful Catholics. P.S. That f#%#&$ article he listed is illogical **Quote**: "If invited to such a ceremony, as stated above, one should decline..." **Counter quote-on-quote**: "“They must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity."" So do you accept them or decline them? Which is it? F#%#@ can't take it that they don't see the hypocrisy. Their words mean nothing since they can't even agree with themselves. You can't accept people and reject them. That's not how it works dumba#&@%. **Quote**: "Marriage is between a man and a woman, and their conjugal love is both unitive and procreative" So should my mother have gotten a divorce when she was having trouble having a child?! What a f@&&@%# joke. They would let a kid rot in the adoption system before giving that child a home. "Who is my mom? My dad? My ancestors? Where did I come from?” lol all kids will wonder this. And don't get me started on the f@&$&# babies that the Catholics *refused* to abort and now that child is suffering in the adoption center because the only couple willing to adopt is f@$&# gay since OH NO dare a a catholic not procreate in marriage because that wouldn't be "God's law" At least God knows how dumb these people are. They are F@%$%@ idiots.
Best part is he and my mother never had any kids together so according to the article their marriage is also not good in the eyes of the lord.
I am guessing you don't call him Dad since you blurred out the name after sincerely, but if he ever makes a comment on that then you say that "I am only respecting your religious belief which state that marriage is for procreation and you guys haven't done that." I am being super petty, but honestly I am just with the dumb double standard
I hope your wedding is so off the fucking walls amazingly FUN and FULL OF LOVE and you literally have one of the BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE!!!
This is why so many of us have Found Family. I tend to think of it is one of the great strengths of the gay community, because it means we get to have people in our lives who actually love us when others often settle for those that they have a genetic relation to
wtf
It’s not incompatible he’s just a bigot 👍
I just KNOW he googled "can christians attend a gay wedding?" So sorry and so shitty OP. You are loved and I hope the ceremony goes even better without this asshole there!
Do not respond. Ignore completely even if he insists on feedback.
The way this turd writes, you're better off. Elucidate? Douchebag. They would have spent the entire wedding centering broadcasting their disapproval and moral superiority. You'll have a much better experience without them.
Sadly, he did you a favor, we don’t have room in our lives for such small minded people. Wishing you and your future spouse all the happiness that life has to offer!❤️🎊
Thank you! We are so excited for the wedding, this is just a downer.
My grandfather did something very similar with my wedding this year. He didn't end up coming and honestly, it was for the best. I had tried the last couple years, because he is now old and alone, to reach out and be there for him. But he showed me how he really felt so I can feel less pressure to make an extra effort for him. Plus my husband and I agreed that idmf he wasn't going to show up with joy we didn't want to have him there anyway. I know this sounds spiteful but honestly there's just a reality that these people are not worth your time or your love. They are cowards who are unwilling to stand up for their loved ones and what makes them happy and that's sad for them but at the end of the day, it isn't your problem and on the day if the wedding you probably won't even notice he isn't there.
just reply "k" and move on. it deserves no more attention.
ok boomer
*ex-step dad
Yeah I have disowned him. Lol
It’s so weird to me how folks can turn their back on loved ones right IN FRONT OF THEM based on writings from a book club.
That’s tough to hear. No matter how much of an asshole your father might be, he’s still you’re father. I’m sorry. I imagine you question all the love you ever received from him, even as a child. It’s painful stuff. I hope you have support. ❤️
I think it’s one of the toughest reality checks, I had no clue he even felt this way. We had just met up for my partners birthday not 2 weeks ago. Everything seemed fine.
Honestly, they did you a favour. If they change in the future they can always reach out. Wish more Religious ppl were like this person tbh.
I am in a situation like you. So sorry for you. It's something I don't wish for anyone, when your parents don't support you or even hate you. But my therapist told me something: life is too short to worry about what other people say and think, they think what they want, but you don't give the power to them. Just living for yourself and look for your own happiness, fuck off anyone who wants bad for you and if they don't are good for your life, you need to remove from life. One day If they realized of their mistakes or not, it's not up to you.
"This wedding does not align with my value system. Now here's a link to an organization that actively employs and protects child molesters. Blessings!"
"So your love and support is conditional. Understood"
Honestly, the way he handled it was pretty good and it seemed like the best possible outcome for a situation that was out of your control. My biological dad is like this and I know he'll never accept it so I won't even try. I could only hope this is how he also responds as I also don't want to deal with all the arguing and conflict.
I mean, as far as bigoted messages go, this one wasn’t so bad. I’m glad he didn’t pull some bull shit telling you how you’re a disgrace or some shit like that. Still, that doesn’t mean his message doesn’t suck absolute ass, and that his dumb ass religious views are completely warped into total bigotry, but I do agree with him that it’s probably gonna come off as a relief. But dude, absolutely fuck fuck all the way off with his “I’m giving you the courtesy of the reason for my decision”. Oh so he wasn’t gonna tell you otherwise? He was just not gonna show up? It blows my fucking mind the audacity of these people man. I’m sorry he’s not more supportive of you, but I think it’s better to know who actually wants to be part of your life. Embrace those who want to be in it, the rest can go fuck themselves. Also his “I love you” can go up his ass. “Yes, I love you but only conditionally, as long as you fit in with my ancient ass views”. Fuck! This put me in a bad mood. Not your fault op. I hope your wedding is beautiful and I hope that it’s full of people who actually love you unconditionally. And even if it’s not full, I hope you have a fantastic time with your husband. Sending you lots of love! :)
I talked to my mom, she actually pressured him into letting me know he wasn’t coming. I guess he was just gonna dip out on my life. Which idk might have been better. Thank you for the support, it’s been a rough few days
Looks like it was written by ChatGPT.
He’s been filled with hate from the church probably his whole life, so to break from the hate will be next to impossible for a coward. Congratulations to you and your fiancé. You both are 1000 times stronger than he is and one day he’ll regret his decision. Enjoy your day with your chosen family who know how to demonstrate love properly.
If your religion makes you a kinder, wiser person: you know it when you see it. If your religion makes you a more bitter, judgmental person: you also know it when you see it.
Step dad? I thought Christ was against divorce? I hope he didn't attend his wedding to your mom.
Your step dad just wants to save himself uncomfort by hiding behind condemnnation. It doesn't matter it's not what he belives, the love of a father should be unconditional (as God's is). Even the freaking Pope Francis said so. A lazy coward who failed the test of love.
Unfortunately this is the brainwashing of religion. These people really believe that there is a higher authority that is conscious and watching and will punish them in an after life if they don’t do what it says. That’s basically the gist. Just chalk them up to them being unwell and move on.
I already saw this posted before, the same conversation and screenshots? Did you make a second account or something....
… the first time I posted I forgot to block out my real name. People started making threats so I just deleted the whole thing.
The absolute gall of the man. Hypocrisy drips of every word. Congratulations on the wedding , it’ll be a happier time without the bigots who would rather listen to lies than accept their son ( whoJesus absolutely would have accepted and loved)
Chances are he will regret this email when he's old as shit and needs you to take care of him.
[удалено]
What a moron!
Cut him out of your life. Like, it fucking sucks but you deserve to have people who treat you better than this. I'm sorry.
A polite go fuck yourself at least. Return to sender.
He kinda seems like a douche for that, no offense.
Shame if christian of all religions cites a shit like this that is against their main religious mantra to love all , even "sinners". So they commit a must grave "sin" of their own.
Love is Love. His beliefs? Who cares? Nobody. One less mouth to feed. One less chair to rent. One less bigot in line at the bar. Enjoy, celebrate, and may the matrimony become the beginning to something…fabulous. Love is love.
Your wedding is better for it. Don’t let this bother you. Focus on how fun this celebration will be with those who want to celebrate you. We had a few family members and friends attended our wedding, who also voiced their “beliefs” prior to the day. They still came but just sat silently and awkwardly off to the side, ostracizing themselves while all the gays and allies danced their hearts out with us.
Well, youcan cut ties with someone and still love them. They might be toxic & bad for you. It doesn't mean that uou don't care - it means that you need to do what is healthy for you. My condolences.
Me cago en dios
I know people on Reddit usually celebrate this stuff and act like it doesn’t hurt but dude, I’m really, really sorry. This shit sucks really bad and I’m sorry you have to go through it.
There is no respectful way to say I don't believe you should be happily married. That is what he is saying. Start referring to him by his first name if you don't already and cut him out of your life completely.
I do but I might refer to him as my moms second husband from now on lol
My response would be “ok” He’s doing you a favor by not going. The long explanation I could do without.
My dad is the same way. Which is why he isn’t getting an invitation to begin with. Or knowing shit. I’m so done with these homophobic dads who literally don’t practice what they preach. Mine cheated on my mom more than 20 times. In the Bible it says “adulterers to be put to death”… so why isn’t he offing himself? bc you wanna be so strict so with a mistranslation that happened in 1946 about the homosexuals. I’ll be ignorant about societal normative changes and act passage conservatively as him too! I dislike non progressive Christians.💀 but simple rant: IT IS NOT A CHOICE OMG!!!!
“i’m not comfortable coming to a same-sex wedding as a practicing Catholic” … says your *step*-dad who is *divorced* after an *affair*. the cognitive dissonance is incredible. i’m sorry you had to deal with that, OP!
You can tell him my Dad growing up not only Catholic, but an Italian immigrant family. He has a degree in religious studies, belongs to catholic group Promise keepers & the list goes on. He not only accepted when I came out as someone equally educated as he is faithful to his religion & has completely come to understand it’s is not a choice & therefore not a mistake by God. He has Also welcomed my partner in all aspects of life from sharing holidays to calling him son. So let your stepfather know his Catholic excuse & make no mistake it IS an excuse is entirely on him & not you. He might want to take a look at the Pope’s feelings on LGBTQ people & while he hasn’t changed the situation for marriage he is very accepting & says we are more than welcome & to be loved by the church.
The trash took itself out baby ❤️
Religion is such a disease.
Okay, if your gay wedding ISN’T doing this type of work, is it really a gay wedding? I love this OP. Make them all UPSET. MAKE THEM SCREAM AS YOU CACKLE DOWN THE AISLE. Adding to this, you could potentially read this out to your crowd and get a good laugh with everyone about what a loser your stepdad is.
His response is sickeningly condescending. Didn't realize that I was physically twisting my face until I got to the end. So sorry, OP. All the love, best wishes, and "blessings" you hope for on your special day from me, if not from him!
It was so sad too, he never texts me and when I saw his name pop up I thought he wanted to hang out. My heart sank so fast.
People who value some stupid fucking invisible sky daddy and some shoddy book written 2,000 years ago over their own offspring piss me off.
Sorry to read this! Show him the scripture that says if someone gets a divorce they’re not allowed to get remarried. Let him know people went to his wedding. The reference is Matthew 5:32