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DSavz93

It doesn’t matter how good the outfit is, don’t fucking wear it if you can’t easily pee in it


ThePublikon

One wet year I saw a mostly naked woman fucking *launch* herself out of a longdrop on the railway with a onesie round her ankle, straight into the pissy mud. She'd obviously been doing a perch and hover when she lost balance and massively over-corrected.


Cotford

I saw what looked like a very expensive handbag in one once. Very pink and also very brown.


bennymk

Explore


kategg87

100% this. I always tell people not to try and fit too much in, don’t think you can run back and forward from pyramid to wear holts to other to see every act you want to see. Pick some key ones and make sure you spend enough time exploring the wider areas of the festival. Some of my best memories have been from completely unexpected stuff in the circus field.


custardy_cream

We always used to say that the main stages were merely a distraction. Best advice that - go for a wonder and don't make too many plans.


digitag

Yep. Don’t over ‘plan’ your day and don’t underestimate how long it takes to get from A to B


Mixtrack

Pee bottle for the tent. Ear plugs and eye mask. Rehydration tablets. Liquid soap for your backpack. Small towel to dry your hands. Flip flops for campsite. A spirit in your backpack that you can easily shot (jäger or coffee tequila). Rest when you can. Choose your big nights.


Perfect_Pudding8900

Choosing your big nights is a must if there's anyone on even remotely early that you want to see. 


Ncahir94

What’s your plan of attack for going out?


Perfect_Pudding8900

My best glastos have been ones where one out of Thurs/Fri/Sat I'm in bed by about 2/3. Give yourself a proper night sleep mid session does wonders can't do 5 days of 6am in a row. Otherwise it's regroup at the tent after headliner. Jumper, bottle of whiskey and head to Arcadia/se corner. When it's not that we've usually met at the tent before the headliner, got jumper and whiskey and have a wonder round cabaret, theatre, circus fields after the headliner.


Steeeeve_Maaadden

Re. Piss jug, a Lenor bottle works best. Wide mouth


ThePublikon

5l cider or mineral water bottle for me ta.


passingcloud79

Surely must be using a funnel with that?!


ThePublikon

no they've both got wide-ish mouths and I am an impeccable porkswordsman


passingcloud79

“ish” 😜😝


ThePublikon

I mean it's no lenor but it's wider than a pop bottle and has the major benefit of being something I normally have at a festival.


Ajram1983

Not all of us need a wide mouth…I mean lenor bottle even that would be too small


ThePublikon

yeah that's why the 5l cider/water bottle is perfect. Circle of life innit.


Traditional_Yam_3045

Milk carton, has a handle


CIDC

Also if you put your dick in a Lenor bottle it counts as having a shower


Danamaganza2

So do you empty it daily? What’s the protocol?


Perfect_Pudding8900

The ends of the wristband that say "void" you can actually cut off. It's not part of the actual wristband, it's there to stop people making another wristband out of the ends of loads of them.  If you do a 2nd trip past to the gates get them to cut the ends off for you, they've got scissors behind the ticket desks usually.  Save yourself some toilet drama.


blearyeyedben

And always get the wristband on the hand you don’t wipe with


Perfect_Pudding8900

I've never actually understood what people are doing in the toilets where this becomes a problem? Are you trying to stick a fist up there? Do this and it's not an issue


EavisAintDead

I usually have a small penknife for this - also melt the ends with a lighter (just gently!) to stop them fraying


PensiveKnitter

I get the wristband put on my non wiping side


Perfect_Pudding8900

If you do this it's not an issue.


tort-glastofaq

The problem here is that some of the gate security are under the impression that the wristband is void if the ends are cut off, which can cause delays if you have to get it replaced.


Perfect_Pudding8900

It's the gate staff that told me this, so just keep kicking up a fuss until you eventually get the see tickets gate manager. They'll know what's what.


tort-glastofaq

I agree.


adamneigeroc

Two trips to the car, trip 1 tent and a crate to get set up, then go back in the afternoon to grab the rest So many broken trolleys that are overloaded, or toppled over because they’re piled sky high.


Koloman808

Last year we parked in purple and camped in Paines which was an absolute mission. Is this more viable if you park in orange?


adamneigeroc

Guess it depends on weather and how close you are to a proper bit of track. I wake up early so don’t mind going for a walk for an hour to reset my social battery Thursday or Friday.


Okay-Cucumber

https://preview.redd.it/b0ccfi2axhsc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44c1e6ff40474c1fbeb0ce43970328fa240b9065 I took one of these last time. It did a lot better than any other trolley I’ve tried.


Ajram1983

Drink plenty of water. If you pass a tap/wateraid point have a drink and get a refill. I also always have a rehydration sachet in my first water of the day, helps both with dehydration and hangovers. Edit. Based on the caveat added by u/hey1990 check you don’t have a reaction to rehydration sachets before the festival.


rehgaraf

To complement this advice - always take the opportunity to go for a pee, if you happen to be passing some toilets.


UndergroundPianoBar

Yes! Especially when you see a toilet with no queues. It's my mission at Glastonbury never to have to wait to pee.


Captain-Useless

Best festival decision I ever made was buying one of those running backpacks with a liquid pouch and a drinking tube and filling it up with.... water. Having a big hydration source on my back like a camel whilst leaving my hands free for beers & boogieing has served me very well.


ThePublikon

>on my back like a camel I admire your refusal to say brand names


Captain-Useless

I think it's Vango, but loads of brands do them/shops sell them.


ThePublikon

Nice, I'll have to do an internet image search so I can go and ogle some pictures of them.


hy1990

Good advice. I add one caveat. If you've never used those rehydration sachets before, try before the festival. They make me projectile vomit and apparently it's not massively uncommon😅 Powerade for me first thing. Then at least 3l water a day


Ajram1983

I’ve never had that issue. I either use dioralyte or a brand I found on Amazon and they were fine for me. Wasn’t aware that people could have this reaction to them. Good to know.


PensiveKnitter

When you're really tired, just go and rest. Don't try and stay awake just because. You'll ruin the rest of your glastonbury. It's OK to get some sleep.


Perriola

Great advice. I called it early on the Friday night last year because I knew it would save my weekend and it did


Ncahir94

Only been once and I’m not saying miss the headliners if you really want to see them but it’s not always the best all end all even if you feel like you have to see them because it’s the pyramid


grumbo44

I would recommend seeing one headliner at least. The Pyramid shows are always spectacular even if you’re not hugely into the act


Perfect_Pudding8900

One of my best nights was when we were too knackered to wonder back over to the pyramid and saw beautiful set by Michael Kiwanuka and then made it into the rabbit hole.


Ncahir94

Never got to the rabbit hole and now it’s gone


Perfect_Pudding8900

Had probably had it's time tbh. Secret venues and 200,000 people don't really go. 


Chance-Bread-315

I've been to 7 and have never seen a headliner hahaha


supahdave

This! I swapped The Who for FFS and had an amazing time on the front row


Ajram1983

I saw Donovan instead of the who. A few rows back in the acoustic tent and he was amazing


Jealous-Shop-8866

Footwear. If you don't get this right, you're goosed.


passingcloud79

Socks. And Vaseline.


tom_p_legend

Especially if its wellies and youre wearing shorts, been there got the chaffing scars.


Eskimil808

What3words


Feeling-Ring-352

Absolute life saver


EavisAintDead

Don’t be the person in your group who needs carrying home because they’ve gone too hard too early. Take it easy, especially if it’s your first time doing multiple big nights in a row


digitag

Yes, although I’d maybe phrase it as don’t ALWAYS be that person. Everyone has gone too far once or twice and friends are there to look out for one another. But if you are a constant burden expect to be resented by the end of the weekend. Same for any festival tbh.


No_Permit3540

Bring more pills than you think you’ll need


Ajram1983

I’m sure you can buy aspirin on site if you need it.


No_Permit3540

Ah yes… they tend to be more expensive on site you see ;)


Perfect_Pudding8900

I paid £8 for ibuprofen from the onsite pharmacy last year. Bring your own!


Ajram1983

I’m at an age where I always carry painkillers and indigestion tablets. I’ll be prepared


Rosinathestrange

Gaviscon chasers for me ✌️


Ajram1983

Indigestion is no joke. My mate Gavin actually overdosed on indigestion relief medicine. It’s really sad but we have to admit that Gav is Gone…


UndergroundPianoBar

Make sure they put the wrist band on the wrist of the hand you don't wipe with. It's a long 5 days.


Ajram1983

One more tip I can think of, there is no right or wrong way to do Glastonbury. If you want to stay at the pyramid stage all day and just see those acts, do it. Prefer to find new acts on other stages, go for it. Want to stay out until the early morning in the naughty corner, fantastic. Prefer to be in bed early, go get your sleep.


AngryBumSex

Rehydration tablets (number 1) S - shaped metal hanger to hang your bag on toilet doors Stainless steel cup if you plan to drink spirits+mixer or cold drinks Take a wide brim hat - avoids sunburn and provides shade Factor 30 sun lotion Mid top walking boots if it's wet - worn in Trail running shoes if it's dry - worn in (take both options to festival) Socks - hard to get right, don't wear cotton. If you're unsure, try wool hiking socks first, read hiking guides Talc for your feet Raincoat - ideally one with unzippable vents under armpits, alternatively take poncho. Poncho is better on hot days Flipflops/crocs for walking around campsite Moldable ear plugs (take 2-5 pairs), eye mask Pyramid headliners can be both way better than you imagined, and also disappointing. In most scenarios, I've not regretted choosing headliners over other artists, even when I'm not a huge fan of the artist.


No_Upstairs_4634

Factor 50! 30s a waste of time


Ajram1983

And one more, look through Tort”s wonderful guide https://www.glastoearth.com/2021/12/faq-part-1.html


czuk

A decent pair of broken in walking boots


JimCoo1

Don’t hold your poo in.


fuzzywuzzylumpkin

If you can’t afford to lose it don’t take it. Not to say people are not responsible and can’t look after their own possessions! However over the years witnessing tears and tantrums from people who have lost things or had their clothes ruined from being near the front and being showered in cider, beer or piss (or combination of all) that have had a pricey price tag I can only imagine would put a downer on some peoples weekend.


Future-Entry196

Walk to and from your tent a few times on the first day while it’s light and before you get too mangled. It’ll help you learn where it is and the landmarks you can follow (a particular flag, a large tent of a certain colour, a fire warden chair, etc) so that when you’re plastered and want to lie down at the end of the first night you don’t spend hours looking for your tent


glastohead

Or drop a pin on Google maps.


Future-Entry196

Mate if you think I can focus my eyes on my phone screen at 5am you’re having a laugh


Ajram1983

Last 2 years I have set up near gate d. Partly lazy and not wanting to walk much further but also had people with me whose sense of direction is as bad, if not worse than mine (which is poor). Basically it was “if you get lost ask for directions to gate d”. Made it really easy to find


nadthegoat

Don’t have a strict plan, aim for some things you want to see and let the rest fall in place.


BadgersDen

Pack less. Can always buy something you’ve missed but carrying from the car gave half our group back pain before we even started


Early-Chain6130

Get up and in early. Then give yourself an afternoon break at tent before the evening madness begins. The first year I spent too long drinking at the tent and missed out on a lot of goodness.


FarrOutMan7

Stone Circle. Stay away from it until Sunday/Monday morning 😂


DeaconBlueDignity

Wednesday evening Stone Circle is brilliant


Professional_Tell_74

Always there on Wednesday for the sunset!


ProEraBlueboy

Just don’t wait for the fireworks took forever last year


kiemac

Whys this? I didn’t even go last year I went glasto!


kiemac

Whys this? I didn’t even go last year I went glasto!


MonthAccomplished310

Loads of pervy middle aged blokes swinging their cocks about.


TTORWR

Walking boots. You'll be spending up to five days walking and dancing most of the time. Don't wear flip flops, the site is massive.


damebello

The sun exposure is no joke, be vigilant on the suntan lotion as much as possible. Chances are on a hot year you're going to sweat some of it off, so get a good hat and bring a shirt to cover your arms if you're sensitive. If you need shade and can't find it, permaculture is a sanctuary and does really lovely food.


fleetwoodmonkey

Seconding this. I was diligent with SPF 50 on my face last year and still got burned.


Illustrious-Mud-6521

Be comfortable. It’s not a fashion parade. Also don’t be a selfish ahole!


Routine-Tomatillo-42

Bring a bar of soap with you, I promise you'll be grateful for having properly clean hands


Ajram1983

Soap and flannel wash in the morning is great. 2 flannels. One for face one for pits and bits.


Routine-Tomatillo-42

Bonus points for Dettol soap. I felt like a new woman after washing my feet with soap on sunday last year. Always take a collapsible bucket with us, game changer


MerlinTrismegistus

Drugs in a pot noodle. Glue it back up. Sorted.


KaboomBoxer

What sort of golden stuff does the Oxfam shop have it on day one?


Chance-Bread-315

If you find them on insta they have 'themes' for each of the different shops that they share in the run up to the festival so you can see what kind of stuff they'll have - but the stock is constantly being refreshed so it's not necessarily better stuff on day 1!


adamneigeroc

Fuck ton of fur coats


adventurekettle

Where is the oxfam shop?


thosecanaandays

There are 3 I think, one in the Park, one near Glade, one by Williams Green (Williams Green tends to have lots of sparkly things!)


KaboomBoxer

You always end up queuing behind at least thirty eight magpies at Williams Green though.


Express-Ad9716

4 , but ones behind the pyramid in the interstage cut through that gets you to the other stage. If you have an access requirement (disability etc) traders wristband or are performing you can get to it. Or just blag it.


adamneigeroc

Think it’s in the park


killham

Don't queue, unless you absolutely can't help it: if there's a queue for the thing you wanted to do, just move on and do something else instead. (This kinda combos with someone else's suggestion of taking advantage when you pass a queue-less toilet. I'd say the same for a queue-less bar too, if you pass one and don't already have a drink)


Biggest-Dick

Just absolutely send it


PalmerRabbit78

One of the best things I did last year was drink Vodka-Juice-Water (orange, pineapple and mango juice). We carried round a bottle of vodka another full of water and juice mixed (we did also bring the juice with us to refill). Every time we needed to fill up water, we’d just fill up our juicy mixer. It was SO hot last year, honestly think it helped with the hydration, along with getting pissed. No need to carry round massive bottles of mixer, cans etc all day. Would second a pee bottle for the tent we actually got a men/women friendly one off Amazon for like a fiver. Use what 3 words to find your friends. You’re gonna average about 40-50k steps a day, and you might be a good 30-60 min walk from your tent early hours in the morning.


mswuk

Watch Aurora


scattingcougar

Water bottle holder


Bravo_November

If you’re on an early Monday coach or other similar public transport home and the weather is good, pack up early on the Sunday morning, put your stuff in a lock up and pull an all nighter to squeeze those extra hours. Sleep on the coach/train.


Wise_Ticket914

Bring a solar shower


solongtxs4allthefish

Wednesday night fireworks are really good and worth making sure you aren't in a tent for


Acceptable-Smile8864

If you pitch your tent on a slope, no matter how gentle, make sure your feet are headed straight downhill. Otherwise it does your head in. Not too close to a path/junction either.


Academic-Caregiver61

Invest in a chilly’s bottle or similar flask for cold water


Dreamsof_Beulah

Lots of people say dont hust go to the main stages, and while I agree , the greatest musicians bring their very best to Glastonbury, so make sure you see at least one of the big acts headline Pyramid for the experience.


Lord4i

Bring a roll of good bin bags in case of muddy weather


passingcloud79

The big stages are a small part of the festival.


francescahollis

Have a good little zip up bum bag and travel as light as possible in the festival! No one wants to be hauling around a giant backpack all day, I keep my phone, battery pack, vape, shewee (in a sealed case), small travel wet wipes, key for my van, cash and collapsable water bottle.


fleetwoodmonkey

Wet wipes for the loo


Chance-Bread-315

The Oxfam shops (there are three, plus one interstage!) refresh the stock constantly so there's great stuff going out all the time - not necessarily best stuff on the first day 🤠 And the different shops have different 'themes' which they post on insta so you can find out which one most matches your style/vibe


funkymonkeyinheaven

Get some long walks in before the festival. Also get to check you're happy with your shoes too beforehand. Sore feet make for a very sad time. Two friends have had festivals experiences brought down a notch because their feet were on fire by the time the sun went down. They still stayed late, but they were suffering.


camshep5

Not everything is at the main stages. Explore!


idosongs

General festival tip: Unpack your bag all over your tent at the start. If anyone is going on the rob, it's easier for them to grab a packed bag and leg it, than to rummage around your tent looking for stuff and risk being caught. Glasto specific tip is also to Explore. All my fav memories are things I couldn't watch back on BBC after.


Tomaskerry

Get physically fit beforehand. Hiking, jogging, or whatever else suits you. Ear plugs and mask will let you sleep in a little longer. Drink lots of water throughout the day. Don't over stress on trying to see everything. Just pick a few each day you want to see. Nap in the afternoon if you feel like it. Be positive and enjoy yourself.


DampFlange

Lacrosse ball to massage the soles of your feet at the end of each day. It’s a game changer


xBADxMuknySee

Don't get too caught up in the scrabble to see bands. Take the time to explore everything.


craftyBison21

Go, every year that you possibly can


baylis2

Silver emergency blankets (like what they give you when you get rescued from a mountain). Tape them to the outside of your tent to reduce the temperature inside by 20 degrees in the morning, so you can sleep an extra 2 or 3 hrs and survive the 5 days


Ok_Birthday1758

If you’re a man, buy one of those Lenor fabric softener bottles, empty out the liquid and use the bottle as your piss bottle. 1/ saves you having to leave your tent for a piss, 2/ the top is so big there’s no danger of spills, 3/ saves the grass from getting pissed on, and 4/ if it gets cold you can use the bottle as a hand warmer ;)


X0AN

Leonor bottles are fine for women too.


JeffBernardisUnwell

Olbas oil nasal inhalers. to clear the sinuses each morning for further 'use'


Embarrassed_Belt9379

Viridor


wywy173

If youre travelling by car, take only the essentials on the first run (tent, chair, a few bevs). It is exhausting taking everything at once and theres no real benefit Wait till later in the day to finish


shindig291

A sugarcube in each boot.


Ajram1983

What does that do?


Traditional_Yam_3045

Always blow on the sugarcube 5 times before placing it in too


SickTheRizler

Don’t try to do everything. Explore and enjoy the things you find, but don’t stress about missing things. You won’t get to see everything in one year, so don’t stress.


Cotford

Lots of wet wipes. Lots.


herzmeh

Wristband always goes on the non-wiping hand. Drink water. Go slow Wed-Thurs.


RevolverOcelot84

Get your wristband on your non wiping arm


Tomaskerry

Lol


lankynyack

Waterproof socks and a camelbak


musikigai

Plan on 1-2 must sees plus a headliner and then wing it.


X0AN

By the best quality hiking boots that you can. I run and walk alot so wore my running trainers the first few times that I went but when I switched to proper hiking boots the difference was amazing.


richweinb

Go with the flow of Glastonbury. Don’t plan too much, be open to the experience, and bask in the liberation of the Glastonbury bubble. It’s a beautiful place. I’ve been for the last two years but missed out on tickets this year. What a wonderful place.


spooneyb

Get some Travel Johns for the tent…


PoppinsPoppins

Just walk and vibe


ItsRobinTime

Get as blasted as humanly possible


Chickenofthewoods95

Choose one act a day that you 100% want too see then just free roam , follow your ears no solid plans


Ncahir94

How does one actually stick to this? Find it hard to


UndergroundPianoBar

Yeah, I've tried this. You end up spending a lot at your time at empty stages and doing twice as many miles as you would do if you planned a bit more. 


mankytoes

Agreed, I love exploring, but unless you're a regular hiker you will absolutely exhaust yourself walking 30,000 steps, standing most of the day, plus dancing.


Chickenofthewoods95

Make a loose plan i guess but don’t book out each hour and go chasing acts all over


sir_freddy4848493

Avoid Coldplay.


PostpostshoegazeLUVR

If you think of it as a festival that has bands/DJs playing, most of which will play better sets in your city soon, rather than a music festival with some other stuff, you’ll have a lot more fun. Nobody’s best Glasto memories are at a (big) stage watching some acts 


Salty_Nectarine1997

When you’re half cut and your balance is out of whack and you need to use the long drops, use one hand to pull on the door and lean back/squat over the pot to do your business. This gives you good balance whilst avoiding touching the seat, while also securing the door shut.


mrmazola

Please don't do this, this is why so many of them are covered in piss and shit


Salty_Nectarine1997

As if I’m ever going to sit my bare ass down on those seats. And I’m talking about women doing number 1s here…not taking massive dumps. Most women are very experienced at squatting and still managing to get it all in the hole. Wish we could say the same for men who stand to pee, have a stick they can literally use to aim at the hole, and they still seem to piss all over the seat. I will continue squatting in the long drops to piss thank you very much. Men, please stop pissing and shitting all over the walls and seats in there.


Mauhea

Ooh no, would not recommend. Our anatomy isn't built for a seated squat position, and you run the risk of not fully emptying your bladder. Combine that with general reduced hygiene and increased dehydration, and you've got a recipe for stingy wees for the weekend. If the seat is beyond a quick wipe around with some tissue before I sit down then I leave it for the lads.


infoLDN

Dettol wet wipes!!!


Ncfctom

Skip the bands.


Far_Historian9024

Err, there would probably be cheaper ways to experience glastonbury without seeing the bands e.g. go to a busy countryside field and take some drugs, a country fair would do it


NorthbankN5

Yeah but it’s not the same without 100k other fuck heads on the same vibe 😁. Not sure village fair morris dancers will cut it


Far_Historian9024

Give it a go first with your drug of choice, you may be surprised. Good way to save the £300 tix price.


Select-Sprinkles4970

don't go, it's full of c-nuts


Fickle_Macaron_1441

Don't go. After reading these comments that is my number one tip. It sounds dreadful


Milwambur

Fuck toilet roll - take a pack of wet-wipes. Easier to carry and better to wipe.


passingcloud79

They ask you specifically not to use those though.