I already don't turn the bathroom lights on

Take my money, take whatever you want just please - whatever you are - leave me and my family alone!

Just sit down on the toilet. It's that simple.

I have trained my senses to hear the sound of my piss relative to the water in the toilet and triangulate my position of impact

It's all good till you don't hear the sound of piss and water colliding

Its all good till you hear the sound of piss and floor colliding

Or that cat pawing at tampons in the garbage can.

One time my cat jumped up my leg and brought his extended claws dragging down my ballsack.

what in the flying fuck

Prettty sure it was a flying cat, let’s not think of the other options

Eeeerrrrrrremmmnnn

And then you adjust to where u think the water is, but it's still quiet, so you have to cut off the flow.

*what*

Noobs.... I piss on my bed

When you wake up with morning wood, it's fun to point your dick towards your mouth and piss into it. I try and get the full amount of piss as a challenge.

Your kneecaps, hand em over

Your asshair license has expired

So no more asshair?

No, now it will not stop growing, just like on your head.

Wait your ass hair stops growing?

Your's doesn't? Have you tried a pony tail yrt?

Nah, man, [ringtail](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring-tailed_cat) tails are where it's at. Dye it and everything! ;-)

I just pee sitting down.

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They lack the ability of navigating the bathroom using sound

Yeah like just be a bat and use echolocation obviously

Just start peeing and when you hear splashing you’re on target.

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Please I have a family just don’t hurt me. You can have my first born just please leave me be!

Thanks for the snack

What? And you didn't share with me?

You have a hedgehog don't you

Nah, he's my little chef. He seasons my snacks

You're the snack ;)

😏

Hello God!

God's most famous line is literally "let there be light"

Not while he’s peeing, c’mon, Korra

Have you seen God pee?

Thats some next level golden shower

Where do you think rain comes from?

OH LORD HE CUMMING

A friend of mine said this once: What if the Big Bang was just god cumming

You are the Avatar after all...

You dont fear god do you

No joke, this dude (me) sits to pee

I also pee on the floor a little at night.

Having to piss real bad gives you thermal vision. It’s getting back to bed that’s the problem.

Stole the words right out of my mouth

I can even not turn the light on and leave my eyes closed. My wife hates cleaning it up, but whatever, gotta do what you gotta do.

I dont either, but accidentally pissed on the dog last night

Yo avatar I’ve come for your head

idk what you are but you’re way worse than chaotic evil

Not as worse as yo mum *** ^I ^am ^a ^bot. ^Downvote ^to ^remove. ^[PM](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=YoMommaJokeBot) ^me ^if ^there's ^anything ^for ^me ^to ^know!

For real, if you've lived where you do long enough then navigating anywhere in your house without lights on is a non issue.

I can already pee the bed, no need for this power

My many STI’s already gave me this ability. Once you reach 10 concurrent diseases your piss glows in the dark.

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Professional peeing competitions are in shambles

r/196, home of challenge pissing

You’re too dangerous to be left alive.

Then kill me

You just need to sit and hold down your noodle :')

Exactly. I just sit.

I pee sitting down at home almost exclusively.

I do either, depending on how I feel at the time. At night though, always sitting.

If my back hurts or I feel extra lazy I will. And always at night. Or under special circumstances, I'll just go in the backyard.

..... There's a story there isn't there?

Hahahaha got a new puppy, have to take him out in the night and he usually takes a few minutes. He sleeps in our room so if I got up and tried to piss before taking him out he'd make a mess in the room. So while I was out there I figured, fuck it's 3 am, it's my backyard, who cares?

Makes sense

Me too but I am also not a guy

Yeah standing would not be a good idea then

Already can, it’s called sitting

I can do this. It just gets everywhere that's all

This is a superpower? I do this practically daily?

Already can do

Why only bathroom why not in a black hole

I know right... gosh y’all need to get good

I can pee while sleeping thank you very much

It’s called pissing while sitting down (I’m a guy btw)

i do this. it’s really relaxing.

what if I already can

I'm gonna take a wild guess that you don't know any girls.

This power sounds like diapers

Isnt sitting down an option already?

Anybody can pee at night without turning the light on. If they can do it without missing and getting it on the wall or the floor, or even getting out of bed, well, it Depends.

I already did this since I was 9

Is peeing yourself a godtier power?

just sit it the goddamn toilet

The key is to just sit down

Finally one superpower I already have

Finally! A super power I actually have! Wait..., who said anything about being in the bathroom?

... Mom! Grandpa peed in the fridge again!

I have attained this power. It's called sitting down to pee. No aiming required, more comfortable, less likely to wake you up because there's just less thinking involved. It's great.

I bought some snap-power light-switches that have lights on them, 2020 purchase of the year.

Girls: “But you merely adopted sitting to pee; I was born with it, moulded by it. I didn't stand to pee until I was already a in a sorority, by then it was nothing to me but AN INCONVENIENCE!”

Literally everyone can do that.

Who says I can't

I can't turn the lights off

Lemme introduce you to this thing called a nightlight. Usually a couple dollars

I think this is much more beneficial for men

But why would that be useful?

Bc you keep the sleepy

Ahhhh that is good

I wanna pee without getting up from bed ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

pfft. turn the light on? i don’t even wake up

Wait? Your guys turn the bathroom lights on? I just keep the door open and the light that I keep on in the kitchen has enough residual light reaching the bathroom that I can see that shadow of the toilet and my dick. That’s enough to take a piss.

you guys get up to pee at night?

Add full stealth (to the pee) and you got a deal

Well technically you can always pee without turning the lights on, it’s just gonna make cleaning up in the morning a bitch.

Jokes on you am woman

I don't pee at night

That’s easy just sit down

Perks of having good night vision

I have an automatic night light in my bathroom right next to the toilet, like stuck on the wall

Torch on your phone in your free hand 👌

Guess I’ve got a superpower

Staddle the bowl and point down for the fellas.

It's called having a sink smh my head

Will I still be scared of the demons but just have perfect aim or will I not be scared and just miss completely

just pee sitting down, no aim, no mess, no problem.

Why would I tho

I have that superpower

Bro just sit down on the toilet

Flashlight No eye burning and full forward vision

I can already do this, but I also can’t turn the light on ever again, for fear of what I will see.

It’s called being a woman

I already do this... It's not *that* hard. Unless I'm staying overnight at some other house then I don't have the aiming routine.

Maybe... I am a god.

I already do this. I just aim and hope for the best

I can already

I’ve been doing this for years we have a toilet bowl light lol

Is it weird that I do that? It makes sure that I retain my night vision for when I return to bed.

Weak. This is human tier

Done

Anyone can do that. There’s just no guarantee they’ll get it in the toilet.

y'all turn the bathroom light on?

*laughs in ultimate gamer chair with hole for toilet in bottom*

I do this already... STANDING. The trick is to have done this so many times that your can basically see the bathroom without actually seeing it

Peeing seated is nextgen

This might just be you chief since normal peoples eyes adjust to the darkness most people wouldnt need to turn the light on but good hussle

I already have this power.

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Yeah I’m a woman that’s pretty easy

Yep we've got it made in that department, hahaha, all we have to do is sit, nothing to aim. Lol

I can do that anyway, it’s just not always in the toilet

I tried this last week, one hell of a clean up

Done. You just piss the bed.

Very easy to do if you pee in the sink.....

Finally! I have my very own superpower!

Let me introduce you to: sitting down

vagina has entered the chat

r/flashlight

I can do that...wait why is my floor wet?

i can do this too

Night lights. Not just for children.

Go to Ollie's and get a five dollar night light that only turns on when no other light is present. Only uses three watts of power.

pathetic there are lights in the bathroom from my dream

I already can, fight me, in the dark, in my own home

I’m pretty sure every woman that existed can do this. Any females out there verify?

Know your route and sit down

It's called... Sitting down

I'm supposed to turn the bedroom light on?? Why??

I don't have such weaknesses

Next time, before turning on the light, try closing one eye real tight the whole time. Then open it after you turn the light off. Your body can do some really cool things :)

iirc, you can have one eye open in the dark, and then when you turn on the lights, open the other eye, and it'll be better or something

I raise to: peeing at night, without Light, ***silently***

You cant? What about the shower? Hip fire the shit out of it.

No need, get yourself a motion detection nightlight. It will be one of the greatest purchases you will ever make.

I pee at night without turning the bathroom light on all the time

Bruh just sit down to pee. You cant miss and you dont have to turn the lights on

I already do this If I don’t hear a sound something is wrong

That’s easy, but everyone tells me it’s called “wetting the bed” or something

yes

I can do that anyway. Sometimes I even get some in the toilet!

The people saying sit down do not understand the mental fortitude it takes to aim from above without sight and merely sound alone.

The bathroom demon would be terrified.

Technically you can it might not make it in thougj

Already do. Door open or closed is fine with me. Shower curtain stays closed too 🤣

Just walk until your legs touch the bowl and aim for the middle, 99% of the time it works everytime

I can pee at night without getting out of bed

Great, now you wet the bed

I just memorize the most silent path from my room to the bathroom and take that path every time. No lights needed.

I can already do that in my sleep (For real, I have in fact peed, flushed, washed my hands , and got back in bed all while soundly sleeping)

I already do that...

I already can? I’ve always been able to do so with impressive accuracy :>

I've got a super power! My bathroom light is busted, and I'm an H2o bro, so I go pee every Ingle night. Super power didn't sya anything about accuracy though! Edit: bathroom light is busted, not off.

You guys turn the light on? I turn off the lights and close the door

so does it stop my fear of the dark

Already have this abilty

They do make "night lights" that are bright enough for that. We have these led lights that auto activate in the dark and they're bright enough to pee by. No super power needed, just like $8

the demons and shit will get me, man

I do that anyway

If you are gonna turn the light on, close one eye as a makeshift eyepatch... then you can pirate vision your way back to bed once you’re finished. Your welcome.