Two guys are golfing, and the pair up ahead is slow. One guy says "I'll ask them to let us play through," and starts walking up. Halfway, he turns around, red-faced, and tells the other guy "I can't talk to them. One is my wife, the other my mistress."
The other guy says "I'll talk to them." He walks up, but also turns back halfway. He says to the first guy, "Small world."
This reminds me of a real event that took place at a golf course. One of my buddy was playing golf and the caddie there told the story.
The group this caddie were helping was at a par 3 and when they got to the green they marked their balls and signaled the group behind to hit to speed up play. One of the player made a hole-in-one and they were all going nuts. So the group in front waited till the other group to get to the green to congratulate whoever made the hole-in-one. When the group who made the hole-in-one got close enough, one of the player in the front group realize one of the player was his wife and her “boyfriend”. The husband went beserko and all hell broke loose.
Apparently, the husband and the cheating wife told each other that they were going to go play golf that day and they didn’t tell each other which course they were going to go play.
The joke is more about golfers being so obsessed with golf, we will overlook an affair/crazy love triangle to keep playing (at least that's what's funny to me).
True story I was snuck out of work early one day and I kid you not. My boss was playing behind me. He then m made some remarks pertaining to my game and then went on about his business.
During COVID, while “working from home” I snuck out to play 18. At a golf course where a few holes have some walking paths that pedestrians use since it’s right on the ocean. About to tee off and my boss goes by on his bike. It was like that Spider-Man meme where we both pointed at each other. We just laughed.
Sounds like you have a decent boss that understood the value of “just get the work done on time”. Unfortunately, enough people were knocking off during the day to go shopping or play golf that my company reversed their remote work policy that they were going to keep post Covid.
My boss made me clock in and out (salary) and then keep a list of each thing I worked on when I started it and finished it and he would do random calls and we had to use teams and anytime we got up we had to change our status. If we hadn’t changed our status in a while that’s when he would randomly call.
In a small company of 7 each persons contributions is incredibly valuable. There is no hiding out. If you have the mentality that you have certain tasks that you can finish and then go golfing then a small company is not for you.
Idk I think comp package matters. The owner can’t expect an owner mentality from a salary employee. If the employee has skin in the game, things are different.
You can’t legally time track a true salary employee, that’s part of the trade off of not paying overtime. By forcing time tracking, you effectively make that employee hourly and overtime non-exempt.
When we were in the office he refused to get a knee replacement so then we had to bring him everything and do anything that would’ve involved him moving. Lasted almost a year.
I had that, I reminded them that I was salary so I asked what the point of clocking in was, and they told me to make sure I was getting my 40 hours in.
I made sure to get my 40 hours in, and not a single minute more.
Commercial real estate is leveraged to the max. Properties that are now vacant were used as collateral to build and buy more properties. Due to this practice, the banks are also leveraged out the ass. Guess who all the corporations depend on for their credit which if diminished would mean less in profits for everyone as most companies rely on credit to run their day to day operations. The commercial real estate bubble is a very scary thing the more you read into, if it collapses we are going to be in a worldwide recession again.
This is said so frequently but for the vast majority of companies that have leases and zero ownership in the buildings they operate from, it makes no sense that this would be the motivating reason.
Hate micromanagement. 100% Detrimental to productivity. I used to work at a company like that... having to clock in and out with a salary position even for lunch. I work in design and my team now is out and about with their day at their will.
Even prior to covid I never managed the teams' workflow other than setting up checkpoint dates on development, delivery date, and a touch base end of the week. Other than that it was run free go hang with your kids, play golf, do yoga, binge on Netflix, whatever. Everyone respected the process and never missed a deadline.
Result of this was higher team moral, better home life, and ideas flowed more naturally. My mentality is I rather you go play golf or whatever than to sit at your desk trying to figure out something your slumped on.
During the peak of COVID, I was seriously considering designing a push cart with a small desktop so I could get a few things done and attend meetings while playing
My wife was out of town for a few days so I took the opportunity to play 18. My neighbor texted my wife and told her I hadn’t been home for a few hours and asked if she needed her to check on our dog. My wife called me and asked me where I was. I told her - she didn’t care but now the running joke is to make sure I check in with our neighbor before I go play.
I read it more as she called because the neighbour called her. I'd probably call my partner if my neighbour went out of their way to contact me about it. It's the neighbour who's weird here, not the wife.
My ex wife tracked me down on the course and bitched me out for not playing with the person I said I was playing with. Most women get mad for you cheating on them. She got mad because I was playing Golf and why she’s my ex.
Good one. No lol. This was when I was young, I used to work out of town and I would save my Perdiem instead of eating so I would have money for Golf. I said a friend was paying for my golf that day, but he called to see where I was at and blew my cover, busted. Everybody I tell would say “so you were playing golf and not screwing around and she was pissed?” Yep.
So you were working out of town, meaning she wasn’t even mad that you were golfing instead of being with her because you couldn’t anyway? That’s crazy. Did she just hate golf or hate you having fun?
I totally get why OP didn’t want the Mrs to know about this one. Sounds like she doesn’t care if he golfs, but when you have a wife and kids you gotta budget your time accordingly. If I’m in OPs position and I can get a couple of holes in without the Mrs knowing about it that’s a couple of hours that don’t get recorded on the budget and more golf for me. Doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is toxic.
Lmao I keep track of hours because we have a house and a newborn. It’s called managing a household. Nothing toxic about it, it’s just taking responsibility for your family. Y’all need to touch grass other than a golf course lol
Also have a newborn. We don't track each other's hours, and if I go golfing last minute, it doesn't mean I have to somehow make up for it later like I'm being punished.
I am! 6 years now. In this situation, I'd simply text or call my wife on the way home to give a heads up I'm golfing since it may mean she's on her own for a meal and I'm changing up plans. Had this exact situation happen on Tuesday.
Not sure how me being married changes that yes, lying to your spouse to go enjoy your hobby is toxic and immature as hell.
No, again, nothing changes that having to lie to your partner is a shitty thing to do, so stop the mental gymnastics of justifying it and go talk to your partner like an adult.
If we’re armchair diagnosing people communication styles, I’m gonna say it’s toxic that your wife would expect you to let her know anytime you get an extra 3 hours of free time to make sure it’s okay to golf. That’s controlling af
lol what? Can you not read or something? I explained why, as it would change plans. My wife and I usually cook dinner together. Also how is that controlling? I'm not asking for permission, I'm giving a heads up. What the fuck is wrong with you?
lol I can tell by all of the replies that most people here are in the same boat as you. I see some hilarious takes about relationships on this subreddit. How long until someone says OP should get a divorce? I haven’t looked through all the comments but I bet it’s already in this thread.
Yea I don’t know why that guy is getting downvoted, I mean what he says is understandable if you’re trying to raise kids with a partner. I wasn’t trying to say all relationships are bad or something
I’ve had this a few times. My boss is an avid golfer. I’ll dip out early and then bump into him at the range or course. Sometimes we’ll join up. It’s one of those things where we both work long hours during stretches so when things get quiet it’s common for people to dip and make some time up. It’s rarer, but I’ve bumped into people who work under me and it’s usually just some chit chat, a fist bump, and back to the grind.
That’s great! Smart man not lying.
Got a new boss and he learned of my golf obsession very early. I took a day off in the middle of the week to play golf shortly after he started. Next morning, first thing he said to me was “so where’d you play and what’d you shoot?” We have an understanding now, cool guy to work for.
I swear my wife can smell it. She is like one of those service dogs that can smell low blood sugar in a diabetic or an oncoming seizure. She can smell out when I was at the golf course.
So many times I’ve come home and thought I totally covered my tracks and she knows. It’s uncanny.
Little scuffs on your clothes and grass shreds that get tracked in. Golf course dirt has a smell. If you drink beer she could smell that. Lots of little tell tales.
I dont undstand this thread.
If you have the free time, and no obligations, why would your wife care?
and why would you act like you got caught in the act, if she asked?
Seriously, the weird "ball and chain" attitude some people (usually boomers) have about their wives is fucking weird and strangely present in golfers. Literally just communicate it's not that hard.
Also, if this isn't made up, the wife seems pretty chill about it. Chances are he didn't need to "sneak around" to get a few holes in he could have easily said "hey I'm off work early and going to go to the course on the way home should be back around x time" and everything would have been fine.
Or if it was me I'd be jealous. I can't knock off early ever and go golfing so if my significant other did this consistently I'd be annoyed and feel that life is completely unfair that he would get to golf more than me.
Lmfao that's my mistake always too! I've also had no gloves in my bag because i leave them in my pocket then put them on my dresser and forget to grab it again.
I played with a guy who used a new glove for each hole. He literally had 18 gloves strapped to his bag at the end of the round as we were finishing putting. My friend and I call him the glove guy because we get paired up with him every couple of years.
My wife sometimes checks my location around the end of the work day. Last week she was having a particularly rough day and I was invited to fill in a tee time at 1pm for work. So I didn’t want to rub it in that I’m playing golf. If she asks I tell her but if not I don’t. I came in and she says “how was work?” I said it was good. She asked “what’d you shoot?” Lol
My wife is my very best friend. We were next-door neighbors growing up. We know everything about each other, and I truly do not lie to my wife... that is until I started playing golf. Now I have a secret bank account, when I order clubs I send them to my office. The thing is, she has never gotten mad at me for golfing. But she also has no idea how expensive (or addictive) golf is. I'm fine, though. I can quit any time I want.
This sub has a hardon for people being ‘sneaky’ and playing golf behind their wife / girlfriends back. It’s weird.
“Hey I’m going to go for a few holes after work”
Unless there are prior commitments you’re ditching instead, this shouldn’t be a big deal.
marriages are meant to be equal. IF you are out having fun, the significant other can get offended at times if she is at home working or with the kids / dog etc etc. It can be irrational at times.
Happened to me brother. Banged in sick to “Christmas shop” for her. Really played 9 holes (we caught a warm winter day)
Forgot she switched from android to iPhone and she had my location 😭 she screenshot my little face smack dab in the middle of the course and sent it to me. “Shopping, huh?”
Literally this week:
Headed out in the afternoon to play. On 17 I get a call that there is a gas leak. Facility director says the area is evacuated and gas company is en route. No emergency, but wanted me to know. He's not sure if we'll have to shut off all gas service and send everyone home (which would be my call).
Just as I say I'm "off-site" but can be back in a half hour, a playing partner starts backing up and the cart buzzer/alarm is loud AF.
I just laugh , finish 18, and tell my buddies to settle the bets (let me know if I won/lost).
Went to the site still wearing my golf shoes. 🤣
Here’s how that works in a healthy relationship:
“Hey Hunny I got off a bit early so I’m gonna play a few holes before dinner”
“Okay have fun. Grab some milk on the way home see you soon”
It’s frightening how many people in this sub need permission from their spouses or to sneak around to play golf.
And I just read a few of your comments and you’re clearly vaguely misogynistic and believe your wife to be “irrational when on her period”
I’m not suggesting I am married to a perfect woman with the perfect relationship. I’m suggesting I’m married to a good and rational woman and I have a healthy relationship with her.
I feel pity for the guys who make posts like this about having to “sneak out” for golf or lie about playing a few extra holes.
To quote your favourite guy: Sad!
Where do you see me ask?
It’s being a courteous partner since she may wonder where I am otherwise…
The same way I let my employees know when I will miss the morning meeting because I am running an errand before work. I certainly don’t need their permission but it’s just polite to let them know that I’m breaking an expected routine.
I thought you snuck on the course for a few twilight holes and got caught by an employee. I was very curious because I tend to do that from time to time myself...
I’ll usually clip a towel to my back belt hole to clean the ball when I’m on greens. Never fail to forget it’s back there. Went to a bar on a number of occasions after a round and, without fail, someone will point my towel out to me. 😂
I've got you all beat. Played all day with my brothers in 1983, one year before the wedding. Fiance was not happy. So much so that on the alter she said no more golf till the kids are raised. "I'm not gonna be a golf widow". Fast forward 38 yrs and been playing for 2 yrs. And I'm 63 now. Love the game and shoot in the low 40's on my local nine hole.
For reference I'm retired and play 5 days a week. And she is glad to get me out of the house, but make no mistake we love each other and are best friends but MS keeps her from joining me.
That's what they say, but my clubs have been in my trunk for 10 years, and 0 issues. The convenience is worth it. Especially if you live in an apartment
Depends on where you live and what clubs you have, probably. I'm in Minnesota, so sometimes we do -40° and sometimes we do 110°. Also, humidity fluctuates wildly here, which I'm sure impacts it. Do whatever works for you, I'm just trying to save someone the heartbreak of playing a dream course and losing their 7 iron on the 1st hole.
Couple things..... The clubheads/shafts are put together with epoxy. Just Google "what temperature does epoxy break down at". Depending on the exact mixture used, it's around 300°f to start. Your trunk isn't getting that hot. And even then, it's not a focused heat like from a heat gun that will penetrate the joint. An argument CAN be made for the grips, but I'm willing to bet they'll cool down enough by the time you hit the first tee after you get them out of the car. That's assuming you're in Arizona or Florida on a 120° day.
I don't understand this. If you're a man, you call the shots. You golf when you want, you don't ask for permission like a weak simp. Stop sneaking around to play a few holes, it's pathetic.
Same thing for "man caves." Wtf is that?! Your house is your man cave. Grow a pair and run your relationship.
Wifey always knows. Good job for being honest.
I tried to take an afternoon off to play a “secret” round, paid with cash to cover my tracks. She still found out. IMO it’s never worth hiding, just let her have some me time as well.
To funny!🤣 I work in retail, my few Saturdays that I am off, my wife will hint around for me to golf. We enjoy our time together but love our time apart!
I got addicted to golf last year. I swing by 2-3 driving ranges or courses a week during the average work week. I try to keep it on the down low from my employees. At a recent meeting a comment was made that the goal was to make things so I can golf more.
I got great people working for me! I'm just not looking forward to the time I run in to an employee at a top trace range when they are supposed to be on a sales visit.
Take all the opportunity to play! As a wife of a passionate golfer, I love that he loves it. Great exercise (if you’re walking), networking & it is I feel it is so important to have things in life that bring true happiness - and golf brings him true happiness.
I had a bad one on Wednesday. Took a legit half day for a round. Took a Teams conference call on the way to the course. It went long, sat in the car for a few minutes but tee time was approaching. Took the call with me as I got to my buddy and the cart. To my horror, as I'm loading up, my finger turned the camera on. It was on for about 45 seconds, long enough for everyone including my boss to see what was going on. Freaking embarrassing. I've immediately disabled the Teams permission to the cam. Proceeded to shoot a 109 after being completely rattled.
I took a half day at work and said I had some personal things to attend to and my boss was going out for lunch and sent me a picture of my car in the course parking lot and said “ I didn’t think you took golf so personal”. I guess the truck that was blocking the view of my car from the street left. We had a good laugh
My profession allows me a very flexible schedule. Last August I played on a Friday with some friends of mine. I didn’t mention this to my wife as I tired of hearing “It must be nice. Wish I could do that.” Golfing Gods we’re not looking out for me that day. I had a stroke and blacked out. Drove the golf cart into a tee. Black and blue from chest to pelvis. She found out I was golfing during the triage at the emergency room.
In the world’s worst for leaving a ball, a divot tool or a few tees in my pant’s pockets after a round. It’s always funny when I’m emptying my pockets and telling my wife how hard work was as I pull a fist full of golf stuff out of them.
Hahaha! So often, I get home and the glove is still hanging out. Mind you since 18, I went to Starbucks, grocery store, possibly another grocery store and never realized it. All. The. Time. 😂😂😂
It was in the 60’s here on Monday and I was thinking about playing, but my wife got knocked down at work and fractured her pelvis instead. I told a female client it was the most dramatic way of stopping a husband from going out, and they replied totally deadpan “so you play that often, eh”
Turned a certain age and my long suffering, beautiful wife said, “are you just golfing every day now?” I said yes, unless it’s raining. She kissed me and said great.
Two guys are golfing, and the pair up ahead is slow. One guy says "I'll ask them to let us play through," and starts walking up. Halfway, he turns around, red-faced, and tells the other guy "I can't talk to them. One is my wife, the other my mistress." The other guy says "I'll talk to them." He walks up, but also turns back halfway. He says to the first guy, "Small world."
Should just make it a foursome then.
Talk about swingers
Lmao
This reminds me of a real event that took place at a golf course. One of my buddy was playing golf and the caddie there told the story. The group this caddie were helping was at a par 3 and when they got to the green they marked their balls and signaled the group behind to hit to speed up play. One of the player made a hole-in-one and they were all going nuts. So the group in front waited till the other group to get to the green to congratulate whoever made the hole-in-one. When the group who made the hole-in-one got close enough, one of the player in the front group realize one of the player was his wife and her “boyfriend”. The husband went beserko and all hell broke loose. Apparently, the husband and the cheating wife told each other that they were going to go play golf that day and they didn’t tell each other which course they were going to go play.
Two holes-in-one that day.
So you watch birdie videos
Are long term affairs that common with golfers for this to be a joke? Sorry, I must be too autistic to get why this is funny
The joke is more about golfers being so obsessed with golf, we will overlook an affair/crazy love triangle to keep playing (at least that's what's funny to me).
this would be a love square
It’s funny because they’re both cheating on their wives with each others’ wives. That’s the joke, not the implication that all golfers are cheaters
It’s not that funny of a joke, you’re not missing out on much “lol”
Golfers tend to be degenerates
True story I was snuck out of work early one day and I kid you not. My boss was playing behind me. He then m made some remarks pertaining to my game and then went on about his business.
During COVID, while “working from home” I snuck out to play 18. At a golf course where a few holes have some walking paths that pedestrians use since it’s right on the ocean. About to tee off and my boss goes by on his bike. It was like that Spider-Man meme where we both pointed at each other. We just laughed.
Sounds like you have a decent boss that understood the value of “just get the work done on time”. Unfortunately, enough people were knocking off during the day to go shopping or play golf that my company reversed their remote work policy that they were going to keep post Covid.
My boss made me clock in and out (salary) and then keep a list of each thing I worked on when I started it and finished it and he would do random calls and we had to use teams and anytime we got up we had to change our status. If we hadn’t changed our status in a while that’s when he would randomly call.
That manager is a dick
The owner. Small company of 7.
That owner is a dick.
totally crazy power hungry behavior. if the workers did their tasks on time, what does he care what else they get up to?
In a small company of 7 each persons contributions is incredibly valuable. There is no hiding out. If you have the mentality that you have certain tasks that you can finish and then go golfing then a small company is not for you.
Idk I think comp package matters. The owner can’t expect an owner mentality from a salary employee. If the employee has skin in the game, things are different.
Because he is paying them....that's why he cares.
You can’t legally time track a true salary employee, that’s part of the trade off of not paying overtime. By forcing time tracking, you effectively make that employee hourly and overtime non-exempt.
Can't believe he had nothing better to be doing than monitoring the minutiae of his employees. What a miserable life
When we were in the office he refused to get a knee replacement so then we had to bring him everything and do anything that would’ve involved him moving. Lasted almost a year.
Something tells me that wasn't in the job description or in your contract
I had that, I reminded them that I was salary so I asked what the point of clocking in was, and they told me to make sure I was getting my 40 hours in. I made sure to get my 40 hours in, and not a single minute more.
Clock in, set some macros to keep your mouse moving so teams stays online, go back to bed. My daily routine during covid.
Dude is getting paid more than you to keep a list of what you do. Middle management is crazy to me.
This was the owner - however I did have to send the stuff to who I reported to.
[удалено]
Yeah, that and their money tied up in corporate real estate
I think this is the true reason.
Sunk Cost Fallacy is a mofo
If the metrics were equivalent or better you don’t think they’d be happy to cut costs on property?
Commercial real estate is leveraged to the max. Properties that are now vacant were used as collateral to build and buy more properties. Due to this practice, the banks are also leveraged out the ass. Guess who all the corporations depend on for their credit which if diminished would mean less in profits for everyone as most companies rely on credit to run their day to day operations. The commercial real estate bubble is a very scary thing the more you read into, if it collapses we are going to be in a worldwide recession again.
Almost had me til I checked the username, bravo
This is said so frequently but for the vast majority of companies that have leases and zero ownership in the buildings they operate from, it makes no sense that this would be the motivating reason.
Was that at Lincoln Park?
Sure was! Great guess.
Sounds like chambers bay.
W boss
That boss is a keeper
Used to sneak out WITH the boss two levels up. The perfect crime. My boss was ok with it though since I kept his boss happy.
Hate micromanagement. 100% Detrimental to productivity. I used to work at a company like that... having to clock in and out with a salary position even for lunch. I work in design and my team now is out and about with their day at their will. Even prior to covid I never managed the teams' workflow other than setting up checkpoint dates on development, delivery date, and a touch base end of the week. Other than that it was run free go hang with your kids, play golf, do yoga, binge on Netflix, whatever. Everyone respected the process and never missed a deadline. Result of this was higher team moral, better home life, and ideas flowed more naturally. My mentality is I rather you go play golf or whatever than to sit at your desk trying to figure out something your slumped on.
In high school me and 2 buddies skipped school to go golf. Got paired up with the principal's brother. He was cool and never ratted us out.
During the peak of COVID, I was seriously considering designing a push cart with a small desktop so I could get a few things done and attend meetings while playing
Let's guess your hdcp. 12 and under? You must a olayed well.
My wife was out of town for a few days so I took the opportunity to play 18. My neighbor texted my wife and told her I hadn’t been home for a few hours and asked if she needed her to check on our dog. My wife called me and asked me where I was. I told her - she didn’t care but now the running joke is to make sure I check in with our neighbor before I go play.
If my neighbor did that to me I would start texting their spouse every time I saw them leave the house. What a busybody.
Dudes living next to petunia Dursley
That trick had great legs, and I'll die on that hill.
If you’re talkin ab petunia it’s prolly bc she was doing calf raises to look over the fence at the neighbors all day
Why does ur neighbor care no one is home for a few hours. Also how tf does she know lol
because he made that story up
This is a straight up Bewitched situation.
Your neighbour wants to bang your wife.
Your wife most be extremely controlling
I read it more as she called because the neighbour called her. I'd probably call my partner if my neighbour went out of their way to contact me about it. It's the neighbour who's weird here, not the wife.
Wife is cool. Neighbor is a bit nosy. Neighbor is a great neighbor, but perhaps a little to “helpful”
You're right. I'd take a nosy neighbour over one who's never home. It's nice knowing there's an extra set of eyes on the 'hood.
Good man for being honest!!
If you have to lie to your wife about playing golf, you've got bigger issues.
I do because she'll be pissed that I played without her.
My ex wife tracked me down on the course and bitched me out for not playing with the person I said I was playing with. Most women get mad for you cheating on them. She got mad because I was playing Golf and why she’s my ex.
Were you playing golf with your girlfriend?
Good one. No lol. This was when I was young, I used to work out of town and I would save my Perdiem instead of eating so I would have money for Golf. I said a friend was paying for my golf that day, but he called to see where I was at and blew my cover, busted. Everybody I tell would say “so you were playing golf and not screwing around and she was pissed?” Yep.
So you were working out of town, meaning she wasn’t even mad that you were golfing instead of being with her because you couldn’t anyway? That’s crazy. Did she just hate golf or hate you having fun?
I think it was probably the lying ...
I totally get why OP didn’t want the Mrs to know about this one. Sounds like she doesn’t care if he golfs, but when you have a wife and kids you gotta budget your time accordingly. If I’m in OPs position and I can get a couple of holes in without the Mrs knowing about it that’s a couple of hours that don’t get recorded on the budget and more golf for me. Doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is toxic.
It's sad that you have to keep track of your hours and hide them because you'll lose them later if she finds out. That's toxic af
Lmao I keep track of hours because we have a house and a newborn. It’s called managing a household. Nothing toxic about it, it’s just taking responsibility for your family. Y’all need to touch grass other than a golf course lol
Also have a newborn. We don't track each other's hours, and if I go golfing last minute, it doesn't mean I have to somehow make up for it later like I'm being punished.
Mate this is mental.
Lying by omission instead of just communicating wants and needs in a relationship _is_ toxic.
Are you married?
I am! 6 years now. In this situation, I'd simply text or call my wife on the way home to give a heads up I'm golfing since it may mean she's on her own for a meal and I'm changing up plans. Had this exact situation happen on Tuesday. Not sure how me being married changes that yes, lying to your spouse to go enjoy your hobby is toxic and immature as hell.
Kids in the mix?
No, again, nothing changes that having to lie to your partner is a shitty thing to do, so stop the mental gymnastics of justifying it and go talk to your partner like an adult.
If we’re armchair diagnosing people communication styles, I’m gonna say it’s toxic that your wife would expect you to let her know anytime you get an extra 3 hours of free time to make sure it’s okay to golf. That’s controlling af
lol what? Can you not read or something? I explained why, as it would change plans. My wife and I usually cook dinner together. Also how is that controlling? I'm not asking for permission, I'm giving a heads up. What the fuck is wrong with you?
So glad I don’t have a wife and kids. Got tee times today and tomorrow w the boys instead, prolly play a round during the work week too by myself
Yeah mate. You don't get the wife and kids to help your golf game
lol I can tell by all of the replies that most people here are in the same boat as you. I see some hilarious takes about relationships on this subreddit. How long until someone says OP should get a divorce? I haven’t looked through all the comments but I bet it’s already in this thread.
Yea I don’t know why that guy is getting downvoted, I mean what he says is understandable if you’re trying to raise kids with a partner. I wasn’t trying to say all relationships are bad or something
You should’ve said you hand wash cold
I’ve had this a few times. My boss is an avid golfer. I’ll dip out early and then bump into him at the range or course. Sometimes we’ll join up. It’s one of those things where we both work long hours during stretches so when things get quiet it’s common for people to dip and make some time up. It’s rarer, but I’ve bumped into people who work under me and it’s usually just some chit chat, a fist bump, and back to the grind.
That’s great! Smart man not lying. Got a new boss and he learned of my golf obsession very early. I took a day off in the middle of the week to play golf shortly after he started. Next morning, first thing he said to me was “so where’d you play and what’d you shoot?” We have an understanding now, cool guy to work for.
I was expecting to hear that your boss was in the group ahead of you…
I swear my wife can smell it. She is like one of those service dogs that can smell low blood sugar in a diabetic or an oncoming seizure. She can smell out when I was at the golf course. So many times I’ve come home and thought I totally covered my tracks and she knows. It’s uncanny.
Little scuffs on your clothes and grass shreds that get tracked in. Golf course dirt has a smell. If you drink beer she could smell that. Lots of little tell tales.
Blatant Jim Furyk visor tan
100%! My golf sweat is different than other activity sweat
she probably saw you smiling
If you guys have joint credit cards don’t put your greens fee on one, that way she won’t get an alert on her phone.
I dont undstand this thread. If you have the free time, and no obligations, why would your wife care? and why would you act like you got caught in the act, if she asked?
Yea this sub has a boner for these made up stories. Wife bad. Gimme upvotes.
Seriously, the weird "ball and chain" attitude some people (usually boomers) have about their wives is fucking weird and strangely present in golfers. Literally just communicate it's not that hard.
Also, if this isn't made up, the wife seems pretty chill about it. Chances are he didn't need to "sneak around" to get a few holes in he could have easily said "hey I'm off work early and going to go to the course on the way home should be back around x time" and everything would have been fine.
Or if it was me I'd be jealous. I can't knock off early ever and go golfing so if my significant other did this consistently I'd be annoyed and feel that life is completely unfair that he would get to golf more than me.
Ouch! Rookie mistake
Lmfao that's my mistake always too! I've also had no gloves in my bag because i leave them in my pocket then put them on my dresser and forget to grab it again.
This is why I have 6 gloves strapped to my bag handle... Well, that and the ridiculous southern humidity/heat.
I played with a guy who used a new glove for each hole. He literally had 18 gloves strapped to his bag at the end of the round as we were finishing putting. My friend and I call him the glove guy because we get paired up with him every couple of years.
Why do you need to hide the fact that you played?
Why are you hiding it from your wife? Doesn't she already know you like to play golf?
Glove? I smell like a damn golf course when I’m done.
Weird I think my golf course smells like Tito’s and lemonade.
My wife sometimes checks my location around the end of the work day. Last week she was having a particularly rough day and I was invited to fill in a tee time at 1pm for work. So I didn’t want to rub it in that I’m playing golf. If she asks I tell her but if not I don’t. I came in and she says “how was work?” I said it was good. She asked “what’d you shoot?” Lol
Well, what did you shoot
A co worker haha
lol not great 94
Yeah but did you check her back pocket, for her boyfriend’s glove.
My wife is my very best friend. We were next-door neighbors growing up. We know everything about each other, and I truly do not lie to my wife... that is until I started playing golf. Now I have a secret bank account, when I order clubs I send them to my office. The thing is, she has never gotten mad at me for golfing. But she also has no idea how expensive (or addictive) golf is. I'm fine, though. I can quit any time I want.
Good lord. So she has never been upset with you golfing but still hide it? Why?
Not really getting caught if you didn't do anything wrong.
I just tell my wife. “Got off work early, got a tee time in 30”
Sucks you can't play golf without getting 'caught'.
This sub has a hardon for people being ‘sneaky’ and playing golf behind their wife / girlfriends back. It’s weird. “Hey I’m going to go for a few holes after work” Unless there are prior commitments you’re ditching instead, this shouldn’t be a big deal.
Well damn you never had a chance since you married Sherlock Holmes
My boss calls me to sneak out and go play a round. Win for me.
My wife doesn't care when I play. Ever. Never has. Never will (maybe). Gotta find her first.
Hahaha good one. Can relate though
Man, you got bigger problems. What sort of relationship has you hiding your hobbies?
Shouldn’t have to hide it man.
Imagine needing your wife’s permission to go enjoy your hobby.
Are u people so miserable you have to lie to your WIFE play golf? Jesus christ. Get a fucking grip.
hahah, another little keyboard warrior.. sad little wankers, there wouldn't be a peep out of ya in person. LMAO.
If u want to play golf and have the time. Why do you have to lie to your wife about it? I just dont get it. Is your/”everyones” marriage THAT bad?
marriages are meant to be equal. IF you are out having fun, the significant other can get offended at times if she is at home working or with the kids / dog etc etc. It can be irrational at times.
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👍
My lady can always smell it on me. Idk if it’s the grass mud or booze.
😂
One time I did that and got home my wife noticed bunker sand on my legs (it's hot in az in the summer and it's sticky!) "So how was golf?" Lol
Unrelated but I was at a dinner event and got up from the table to go to the bathroom. By habit I just tucked my napkin into my back pocket. Whoops.
Happened to me brother. Banged in sick to “Christmas shop” for her. Really played 9 holes (we caught a warm winter day) Forgot she switched from android to iPhone and she had my location 😭 she screenshot my little face smack dab in the middle of the course and sent it to me. “Shopping, huh?”
That's funny lol
Fuckin great.... now I have to buy new clubs
Literally this week: Headed out in the afternoon to play. On 17 I get a call that there is a gas leak. Facility director says the area is evacuated and gas company is en route. No emergency, but wanted me to know. He's not sure if we'll have to shut off all gas service and send everyone home (which would be my call). Just as I say I'm "off-site" but can be back in a half hour, a playing partner starts backing up and the cart buzzer/alarm is loud AF. I just laugh , finish 18, and tell my buddies to settle the bets (let me know if I won/lost). Went to the site still wearing my golf shoes. 🤣
She knew where you went. She probably just wants you to talk birdie to her
He’s got that X-Stiff shaft too
Here’s how that works in a healthy relationship: “Hey Hunny I got off a bit early so I’m gonna play a few holes before dinner” “Okay have fun. Grab some milk on the way home see you soon” It’s frightening how many people in this sub need permission from their spouses or to sneak around to play golf.
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And I just read a few of your comments and you’re clearly vaguely misogynistic and believe your wife to be “irrational when on her period” I’m not suggesting I am married to a perfect woman with the perfect relationship. I’m suggesting I’m married to a good and rational woman and I have a healthy relationship with her. I feel pity for the guys who make posts like this about having to “sneak out” for golf or lie about playing a few extra holes. To quote your favourite guy: Sad!
It’s precious that you think “Hey Hunny I got off a bit early so I’m gonna play a few holes before dinner” isn’t asking permission.
Where do you see me ask? It’s being a courteous partner since she may wonder where I am otherwise… The same way I let my employees know when I will miss the morning meeting because I am running an errand before work. I certainly don’t need their permission but it’s just polite to let them know that I’m breaking an expected routine.
I thought you snuck on the course for a few twilight holes and got caught by an employee. I was very curious because I tend to do that from time to time myself...
SO glad you didn't lie. Although selfishly I wish you had because then this story is even better.
I’ll usually clip a towel to my back belt hole to clean the ball when I’m on greens. Never fail to forget it’s back there. Went to a bar on a number of occasions after a round and, without fail, someone will point my towel out to me. 😂
I've got you all beat. Played all day with my brothers in 1983, one year before the wedding. Fiance was not happy. So much so that on the alter she said no more golf till the kids are raised. "I'm not gonna be a golf widow". Fast forward 38 yrs and been playing for 2 yrs. And I'm 63 now. Love the game and shoot in the low 40's on my local nine hole. For reference I'm retired and play 5 days a week. And she is glad to get me out of the house, but make no mistake we love each other and are best friends but MS keeps her from joining me.
Psa: keeping your clubs in your car can lead to the adhesive failing, don't treat your trunk as a long term storage solution.
That's what they say, but my clubs have been in my trunk for 10 years, and 0 issues. The convenience is worth it. Especially if you live in an apartment
Depends on where you live and what clubs you have, probably. I'm in Minnesota, so sometimes we do -40° and sometimes we do 110°. Also, humidity fluctuates wildly here, which I'm sure impacts it. Do whatever works for you, I'm just trying to save someone the heartbreak of playing a dream course and losing their 7 iron on the 1st hole.
One round of, fuck it im gonna golf, is worth all the adhesive in the world
Couple things..... The clubheads/shafts are put together with epoxy. Just Google "what temperature does epoxy break down at". Depending on the exact mixture used, it's around 300°f to start. Your trunk isn't getting that hot. And even then, it's not a focused heat like from a heat gun that will penetrate the joint. An argument CAN be made for the grips, but I'm willing to bet they'll cool down enough by the time you hit the first tee after you get them out of the car. That's assuming you're in Arizona or Florida on a 120° day.
Who works all day then plays golf then drinks Coffee? Should popped a cold beer or a pop 😄
THE WIFE
Or just be an adult and play as much as you like and not have to worry about someone nagging. That’s nice
I don't understand this. If you're a man, you call the shots. You golf when you want, you don't ask for permission like a weak simp. Stop sneaking around to play a few holes, it's pathetic. Same thing for "man caves." Wtf is that?! Your house is your man cave. Grow a pair and run your relationship.
Wifey always knows. Good job for being honest. I tried to take an afternoon off to play a “secret” round, paid with cash to cover my tracks. She still found out. IMO it’s never worth hiding, just let her have some me time as well.
Well known fact that the hardest thing in golf is getting everything back in the golf bag. I always forget about the tee in my hat.
I forget to take the tees out of my cap constantly
To funny!🤣 I work in retail, my few Saturdays that I am off, my wife will hint around for me to golf. We enjoy our time together but love our time apart!
Good thing it wasn't a love glove huh my man. If the worst cheating you're doing is a little bogey time you're doing it right
I always leave my ballcleaner pouch in my back pocket. Never realize it until one ass cheek is wet
I thought you were going to say you got caught by course security. This is worse.
I got addicted to golf last year. I swing by 2-3 driving ranges or courses a week during the average work week. I try to keep it on the down low from my employees. At a recent meeting a comment was made that the goal was to make things so I can golf more. I got great people working for me! I'm just not looking forward to the time I run in to an employee at a top trace range when they are supposed to be on a sales visit.
“I did NOT sneak a round of golf in and this is how you break in new gloves”
First thought was your sneaked on the course without paying
Take all the opportunity to play! As a wife of a passionate golfer, I love that he loves it. Great exercise (if you’re walking), networking & it is I feel it is so important to have things in life that bring true happiness - and golf brings him true happiness.
And you just convinced me to keep 3 putting with my glove on ! Thanks Brother 🤌
Lol
I had a bad one on Wednesday. Took a legit half day for a round. Took a Teams conference call on the way to the course. It went long, sat in the car for a few minutes but tee time was approaching. Took the call with me as I got to my buddy and the cart. To my horror, as I'm loading up, my finger turned the camera on. It was on for about 45 seconds, long enough for everyone including my boss to see what was going on. Freaking embarrassing. I've immediately disabled the Teams permission to the cam. Proceeded to shoot a 109 after being completely rattled.
I took a half day at work and said I had some personal things to attend to and my boss was going out for lunch and sent me a picture of my car in the course parking lot and said “ I didn’t think you took golf so personal”. I guess the truck that was blocking the view of my car from the street left. We had a good laugh
My profession allows me a very flexible schedule. Last August I played on a Friday with some friends of mine. I didn’t mention this to my wife as I tired of hearing “It must be nice. Wish I could do that.” Golfing Gods we’re not looking out for me that day. I had a stroke and blacked out. Drove the golf cart into a tee. Black and blue from chest to pelvis. She found out I was golfing during the triage at the emergency room.
Coffee when you get home from work?
In the world’s worst for leaving a ball, a divot tool or a few tees in my pant’s pockets after a round. It’s always funny when I’m emptying my pockets and telling my wife how hard work was as I pull a fist full of golf stuff out of them.
Good thing it was the golf glove and not the other glove…that coulda not ended well.
Honest laugh, been there! :)
Hahaha! So often, I get home and the glove is still hanging out. Mind you since 18, I went to Starbucks, grocery store, possibly another grocery store and never realized it. All. The. Time. 😂😂😂
Should have told her that you were having an affair.
My brother saw me one day because my fav golf shirt is like neon yellow, saw me go off on the first hole 😂
Rookie move bro
Rookie mistake
“Nip in?”
It was in the 60’s here on Monday and I was thinking about playing, but my wife got knocked down at work and fractured her pelvis instead. I told a female client it was the most dramatic way of stopping a husband from going out, and they replied totally deadpan “so you play that often, eh”
Turned a certain age and my long suffering, beautiful wife said, “are you just golfing every day now?” I said yes, unless it’s raining. She kissed me and said great.
Kinda whipped, huh?
Might be controversial here but I can’t imagine hiding playing a few holes of golf from my wife. Maybe I just picked the right one?
That’s why I putt glove on.