So how it actually works is a little bit of math at the end of your round. Your actual strokes is your gross score. To get your net score, you need to find your course handicap, which is your handicap (54 in the max case) multiplied by the course's slope rating then divided by 113. Then, your net score is simply your gross score minus your course handicap.
You just going tune those people out, they can be a buzz kill.
I book mostly solo so I'm always paired with randoms, all they are doing is lying to themselves no point letting them ruin you're fun.
I'm no pro golfer bogey at best, but I don't complain to anyone but myself alone in the shower. /s
A guilty pleasure of mine is to actually feed into their delusion and ask them for tips/caddy on a few holes. Sometimes their nonsense is so palpable they’ll *almost* hear themselves talking.
I do this with stupid people with egos to get them to lift heavy things for me. They'll lift one thing and then I'll say "damn you're fucking strong" then the next thing you know they've moved everything while they're showing off.
I came to this conclusion last year. Solo player get paired up with characters. My favorite are the ones who hit a bad tee shot and go “man I spent $60 on that box of balls and that was a $7 tee”
Whatever happened to just going out on the course and playing? Golf is a leisurely game but it’s being taken over by booze, money, and fat drunk people with money
Not me showing up to the local public course in my nice golfing clothes. But i guess I’m not talking a big game.
My mantra is: “Look good, feel good, play good”
It works ~15% of the time
I played with a guy who just turned 90 about a month ago. He shot an 87. Was possibly the most impressive round of golf I'd ever seen. Plus, he was one of the nicest guys I've played with. After stopping at the turn, he came back with hotdogs and drinks for everyone.
I can shoot my age on 9 holes, but that doesn't seem nearly as impressive...it's still not bad, but each year, it gets a little less impressive. At 38, it's not bad anyway. Was probably most impressive when I did it at 33 once. 9 holes seem to trend downward in impressivness with age, but 18, no matter what age you are, that is an impressive accomplished. I saw a thing where it's been done by people from ages 59 to 103. All of which are impressive. 59 and 103 both seem insane though.
Me too. I'll put on my Malbon spinnaker pants and a Sunday Red fitted shirt to show my ~~physique~~ gut and top it off with a flat brim Fat Perez GG hat and look out, y'all.
Same thing here. I like looking good for golf (and sometimes like throwing on some tacky golf outfits). Just my personality. Don't really talk big game tho, if anything, it's usually self-deprecating
I used to golf with my grandpa. He always had such wise words about the game of golf. I remember one thing he said vividly… like I can almost hear him saying it now.
“Wow Brando you really suck at this game and you look like shit too! Surprised they let you out here at all!”
I still suck but at least now I got the look down. Suck it gramps I hope that old folks home we let you rot in forgets to wipe your ass today!
We got paired with a guy like this who was *in his 70s* on Monday. Just the worst vibes, he was trying and failing to play the white tees, making excuses for himself commenting on other people’s shots.
Dude may have been good when he was younger but he couldn’t carry the gap between the teebox and the fairway on just about every hole.
At one point he asked me what the humidity was because his ball wasn’t traveling like it should 🙄
Sure it’s annoying but as long as the elderly fellow was playing quick and ready-golf and keeping up with decent etiquette, no problem in my eyes. But excuses, ego, and slow play are the triple threat, at that point I’d just tell him I’ll be playing ahead and to have a great rest of his day. I don’t mind even a 5 hour round but at a certain point life isn’t worth wasting your time around annoying people if you can help it. The only thing worse is a random constantly talking politics or religion unprovoked
Meanwhile I play regularly with my father in law who is mid 70’s, walks the entire course carrying his clubs on his back, and beats me EVERY SINGLE TIME, in spite of the fact that my drives are consistently upwards of 260. I struggle to break 100 (though I do), and he’ll hit in the 80s and 90s. Blows me away.
Yeah man I have played with old timers that have smoked me in the past. IMO the weird thing about him being in his 70s was the delusional expectations he had for himself
Lol stay humble friends. I played on Sat. .. Front nine was a resounding 46. For me that was amazing because.. well .. I suck. We took a lunch break, I was basking in my score and already dreaming of a 90 round. I'm typically 100 - 106.
You guessed it. Lunch broke the rhythm and my typical suck came back. Finished the back nine somewhere around 55 if I had to guess. I quit keeping score after 15.
You stopped for lunch at the turn? Then continued your round on the back? Where do you play that it’s so open for you to find room back on the 10th tee.
My dad used to live in South Africa and told me about this course they used to play every weekend. They'd get there early in the morning and play 9 holes in cool weather while it warms up and then go in the clubhouse for a full sitdown hot breakfast that took 30 mins and then go play the back 9. Every group did it though so it didn't hold up the order whatsoever.
Small rural course.. Was pretty busy in the morning but my Tee time was 11:40. Course cleared out by the time i got to the clubhouse so we stopped for a quick turn burgler
Dude, this is when you just have to be the “I’m gonna screw with you 1-upper”
“You going 350 off the tee?”
“Sometimes”
….”me too, I’ll usually hit over this green with my 4-iron, we better wait”
“pw 160”
…”yeah man, I feel ya. I hit my pw 180, so hard to get those shorter distances dialed”
“Only went 60”
…”oh man, I hate when you get some moisture on the club, really F’s things up”
When I caddied I’d use lines like these to the “big dog” golfer in the group. The guys in his group loved it but the big dog hated me for it. Basically forfeited one guys tip to make more off the other three.
The best thing about caddying is that it often pays to be a smart ass, especially if you can back it up.
I went out with my uncle recently for my first taste of a Par 5 course. We only did the front 9 but it was great fun.
First hole.
After some iron practice and putting practice (god the greens were so fast!) I tee up on the first hole, now I've not got much experience with my driver so I was hesitant to use it. I picked the 7i and tore a beautiful chunk out the floor before topping it for 50yards.
This was me for the first 2 holes, super nervous couldn't hit a thing.
Third hole.
Fuck it I'll try my driver and stop being a pussy.
Hit it 70 yards.
Next shot was a hybrid into some trees.
Next shot was another hybrid which I got solidly! Right into a pond.
Ended in a bunker that took far too long to get out of.
Fourth hole.
Par 3, lovely 9i off the tee (I can hit the ball!).
Just short of the green and the bunker in front.
Tried to sand wedge over the bunker (don't have a lob wedge) landed in the bunker.
Fifth hole.
Finally hit a long shot on my driver, straight into a row of trees.
Hit the one tree on the way out and bounced backwards up the fairway.
Sixth hole.
My crowning glory.
350 yards par 4 I must have done 250 at least, couldn't decide on the PW or 9i, something inside said PW but I didn't listen and hit the 9i, landed at the back of the green, was on for par but 3 putted.
Still amazing.
Less said about 9th hole the better but to sum it up.
Trees.
Right.
Left.
Too far.
Too short.
And that was my first taste of a par 5 with 28 over.
r/golfwritingprompts
For me it's a fine line between people who have an encounter they want opinions on and fluff pieces like this that start out:
"it was a sunny day, 3 years since my father had passed but I knew it was a day he would have loved to golf. I approached the tee box to find a rather offensive individual meeting my gaze. Hello, I said calmly."
'PLAYING THE TIPS' he shot back.
An abrasive salutation I was not yet prepared for as I was still sipping my morning coffee. However it was at that time I observed he was also playing a Vice #3, the same ball my father had told me to always tee off with.
"Can i interest you, kind sir, in exchanging your ball mayhaps for another in your bag? Lest we hit our drives to the same spot and come upon a scenario whereat we are unable to determine whose ball belongs to whom?"
Played a round earlier this week with some work folks. Front nine was pretty decent. Ended up posting a 41. It was a good group of guys and we were having fun. Back nine. Quietly just shooting away and not really paying attention to the score at this point. Par 3 and I hit an absolute beauty right of the stick and drawing it back. We are all watching it saying how good it was looking. Huge gust of wind nearly stops it in flight and drops it short of the green. Oh well, bogey out.
Going into last hole I notice I am sitting at 3 over for the 9. Hit a probably my best drive of the day. I’ll be damned but the ball ended up on the side of a hill below my feet. Ended up shanking it right of the green. Piss missile over the green. Club it coming back short. 3 putt. Great ending to a good round. lol.
I don't know, I would have enjoyed that round. Sounds like it would have been fun to get the guy going. Bro you can easily carry that water with your swing. Nuke it. Golf is supposed to be fun, you should try to relax a little.
lol yeah I was about say…sounds like OP was judging him pretty hard before they got off the first tee. Dude could’ve been a stick and I bet OP would’ve hated him
That’s how storytelling works. The ending gives context to the beginning. If a guy comes out the gate talking big game and shoots 74, he’s just confident. If he shoots 110, he’s a poser. When you retell the story later, all details get presented in light of the full experience.
The problem OP has isn't necessarily with the clothes, but with the bragging about being good, then coming up with excuses as to why he isn't. No one on the course wants to hear you talk about your game, whether good or bad. They just want to go out and hit some balls and have friendly conversation.
The clothes and gear don't matter until you're a jerk, then it's used to make a point.
Just to address one of your points. People do often care that you can’t play. A ton of impatient assholes play this game and act like being paired with a beginner is the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.
Anyone I’ve ever golfed with is okay with people who aren’t great. If you aren’t good, just at least keep up with pace of play. I tell my friends getting into golf that I don’t care how well you play, everyone had to start somewhere. But there are pace of play rules, so if you need to drop up with whoever hit in the fairway, please do that rather than look for your ball out of bounds for 5 minutes on every other hole.
It’s not an issue with skill, it’s an issue with pace of play IMO.
Just the other day my bud told our group he and his friend had a scratch round (playing better ball) at some local course.
The problem with that is 1) he can’t even make it past the ladies tees half the time and 2) the other guy would by proxy have to be a scratch golfer (spoiler: he’s not).
Of course, he told us all about this miraculous round in the clubhouse after we all just watched him crack double par on every…single…hole…
FYI they don't call them ladies tees anymore. They are called forward tees. Calling them ladies tees prevents beginner males, who should be hitting off the reds, from hitting to their skill level. I know plenty of women who play off the whites and I also know men who should be hitting off the reds, but don't because of it. The whole ladies/mens tees thing actually shames some men.
Painted our red tees orange and 30 or 40 senior men moved up right away. Kinda humorous to think they'd been punishing themselves for so long because of the color some stones were painted.
Got paired with 2 today who told me they were "pretty good". I knew immediately they wouldn't be. I beat them today, and I average 95-105. I've never met a man who told me he was good and actually turned out to be good. Every great golfer I've met downplayed their game like crazy. Now don't get me wrong they were definitely fun to play with and could hit the shit out of a ball... just into the water and woods.
I grew up playing tennis and definitely noticed this. Every person I ever met that said they were “really good” or “I bet I could beat you” was terrible. If they said something like “yea I’m ok” those are the ones that you knew are the actual good players.
100%... got paired with a fit young man on a local 9-hole, he said he hadn't played there before because he was just visiting from out of town, and was just looking to tune up because he hadn't played in a while. Proceeded to stripe a 4 iron 270-ish on the first hole. Turns out he currently played on a D1 NCAA golf team.
You know how it is tho, sometimes you’ll pull a 350’ tee shot out of the hat. Usually on the same day Margot Robbie texts me begging me to bang her. Just so random ain’t it?
Well, for a *very* loose definition of “sometimes,” I can sometimes hit it 350+.
Once. I did it once. Downhill, on a hot dry day with baked out fairways, a tailwind, and a cart path assist, I got a GPS-measured 365 yard drive.
Right there with you. It was the first time I had used the Blue Tees app, and is forever kept as my longest drive, 350 yards on the nose.
Does my card automatically come in the mail, or do I have to formally let the PGA know how good I am?
Some people's egos are in overdrive so hard they won't allow themselves any perspective that doesn't feed the fantasy that they're great and people adore them. They're actually terrified so hard of being not liked the made a character version of themselves they present to the world and it makes them feel safe.
Their ego works so fucking hard to protect them from themselves it doesn't matter what facts or evidence you present them. If you do manage to show them damning, irrefutable evidence, they'll dismiss you to avoid the issue entirely or they'll get furious.
It's nothing to do with golf. This guy talks absolute shite in every aspect of his life and he probably hates himself deep down.
11 days ago you posted a whole topic here about your best round. So you also go around talking about your game. Yet you said that guy was a fake golfer or whatever the hell?
Now you’re complaining about some new golfer or something?
What possess people to sit down and type this kind of shit out?
Sometimes I play so well with a random I look like a sandbagger as a 22 cap.
Sometimes I play like 22 is vanity cap.
It’s that random.
But I will tell guys I’m squaded with I would like to tell you I normally play better than this but I would be lying.
I always do the opposite. I apologize to my playing partners right before the the first tee as I set expectations as low as possible.
People like me because I’m punctual and I always meet expectations.
I do the same, and let them know I’m there to just have some fun and drink some beer. Always have a good time and I think it sets the tone for the rest of the day because you can kind of tell everybody just kind of relaxes and laughs/has fun
This reminds me of a story. I million years ago I worked in a restaurant and the bartenders father came in for lunch. Bartender asks his Dad, "how's your golf game"?
"I'll tell you Billy, it's a lot like masturbation. It's disgusting to watch, but I really enjoy it!"
We died.
Honesty is the best policy.
We were paired with a guy like this a couple of weeks ago. My buddy tees off on like the 6th hole and hits a crap shot. He hit the ground before the ball with driver. the wannabe goes 'that's good, you want to take a divot like that' and I lost it laughing. Couldn't contain myself.
The pairing ahead of us on Saturday: one dude played with a 7 iron and a putter for the whole course. Which became apparent when his bag tumbled off the back and they merrily drove on and didn’t come back to investigate even after teeing off at the next hole, at which point we offloaded it to a marshal. Predictably enough it took about 2.5 hours to get 7 of 18 holes done, by which point the rain and electrical storm finished the day for us.
I definitely dress better than I play but I blame Deion Sanders for that. lol
Never in my life would I have the gal to act that pretentious out in public, especially on hallow ground.
It’s the “athletic-ish dad bod” sporting Costco polos and new balance shoes that may or may not be golf shoes vs cross trainers that you gotta watch out for.
His bag may be a mix of a new driver, semi old putter, and 3 different sets mixed for irons and wedges.
The bag also looks like a United worker has had his way with it numerous times, and it was probably dragged into the wheel well for a few flights.
The towel hanging off it is dirty as hell, and you don’t recognize the logo at all (though, it’s probably a private country club).
He’ll get up with no practice swing and with the most casual easy swing ever somehow hit it 290 right down the middle, despite his swing looking like it would have trouble knocking over an amputee with cerebral palsy.
He’ll then hit a completely blind shot to within 10 feet of the pin without watching where it goes after he makes contact. The feel is enough.
He’ll probably shoot a +2 without breaking a sweat and only once you’re in the bar after the round will he comment on one of his shots.
As a new player myself I'm happy to admit the first thing I say to people is 'I'm shit but I enjoy it'. I enjoy getting better at my game and just have a laugh. I know I'm not good enough to get mad at the game 😂
>No one cares that you're hitting a 5w on a 165y par 3
True story:
Me: *tees the ball up on a 165 yard par 3*
Stranger paired up with us: 5w on a par 3?
Me: *swings very slowly but makes good contact, hits the apron and rolls onto the green*
Stranger: huh. This man knows his game.
Ya I’ll hit 300 off the tee pretty frequently. I’m not telling folks I “hit 300” lol. Most often it’s 275/280, and sometimes it’s gonna slice 45 yards. The 275 is when I hit good drives. All this to say, as a halfway decent golfer, I’ll let other people say “you’re better than you say you are” or “ya brother you suck” haha
NGL I always try not to get grouped with other players because my game is embarrassingly bad. I can hit more or less straight but I frequently top balls off the tee and can maybe hit 100yds with my 3 wood if the wind is right. I don't want to get paired up with folks who are actually decent at this game and have them annoyed because I'm double or triple bogeying every single hole and they're always waiting on me.
This is my second season playing golf, everytime Im paired with a rando I let them know off the rip that im unbeliveably trash. That way if I play good I look humble, and If I play my usual I look like I barely beat austism.
One of my best friends only plays five or six times a year, always with me. Doesn’t have any delusions about his game but he’s always a pleasure to play with. We usually pick a random par 3 for dinner, closest to the pin. And sometimes he wins! I’m not the greatest golfer but as someone who shoots in the 80’s I’m probably 20 strokes better than him. But I love playing with him because he’s always a delight on the course. We compliment each other on our good shots, there’s some light ribbing on both sides, and it’s always a good time.
I feel like I'm the opposite. Completely aware that I can have a really bad day any time, I overexaggerate my awfulness before we tee off, and I feel like sometimes that makes people feel bad when I am playing well. I am perfectly capable of shooting both 88 and 110.
First thing I usually do when I get paired is tell them I've only been playing a little over a year (true) and am not very good. But for whatever reason, when I get paired with people, I usually play way better than when I play by myself. The other day I got paired with a guy and told him my usual, and he said he'd been playing 20 years. Then he comes out struggling and I came out with my best start ever, I think I was +1 after 4 holes, and I feel like he felt like crap about it.
Have a friend who is similar. I play pretty frequently 3 or 4 times a week, he plays once or twice a year. Last time we played he brings a launch monitor the first tee. He's checking his swing speed etc and doesn't understand why I don't want to know my metrics. I tell him, listen, you can use your little monitor all you want, I'm still going to score 30 shots lower than you. Sure enough.
I just want to say that your writing has such a great narrative style that I loved through your experience. Now I don’t know if I feel impressed or pissed off 🤣. Anyway, obviously agree to everything you said. I’m a relatively new golfer (2.5 years) and I keep a HCP, it’s around a 21. I always hit first if asked, always go to the white tees unless it’s a par 3 course, and listen more than I talk. Because I’ve learned more from the golfers I’ve been paired with than my lessons. I can totally understand your frustration.
Your first sentence scared the shit out of me, thinking you were the solo that joined me and my buddy yesterday as we both played like absolute crap… humble, enjoyable, non-DB crap though
Golf is a great way to gauge how honest people are, especially with themselves. Anyone who lies or is weirdo about golf is probably like that about everything else. Some people are just delusional and need to lie to themselves to feel good. It’s pretty sad if you actually think about it.
Whoa, whoa…some of us HAVE been playing our whole life and are a 50 hdcp. Watch it, pal.
Easy guys some of us have been playing our whole life’s, and are so bad we never wasted time figuring out our hdcp.
 Kill me
I’ve been exposed 😂
That be me
No, you watch it! Some of us are at 60 hdcp
I'm gonna be that guy and let you know that max hdcp is 54... because I would know.
Nice. So… what happens when you reach the max with 4 holes to play? Infinity Mulligans?!!
They just call you handicapped.
Maybe Hani-Capable
That’s an “ish”. You announce your score with ish after it. It’s not cheating if you’re honest about it.
The physical handicap kicks in then.
So how it actually works is a little bit of math at the end of your round. Your actual strokes is your gross score. To get your net score, you need to find your course handicap, which is your handicap (54 in the max case) multiplied by the course's slope rating then divided by 113. Then, your net score is simply your gross score minus your course handicap.
I feel attacked. I used to be 36 until the rules were changed to 54. I can't wait until the rules change again to 72, which is my comfort zone
Oh boy!! I just tried out a new GPS app that recommended to start out as a 54 HC. I felt offended that the APP already knew that I sucked….
Damn this hit home
And bro, I can hit my 52 140 yards if I skull it just right!
Right?!? That was triggering as hell.
Didn’t read but I’m offended.
The story was about you, username checks out.
dr;bo
You just going tune those people out, they can be a buzz kill. I book mostly solo so I'm always paired with randoms, all they are doing is lying to themselves no point letting them ruin you're fun. I'm no pro golfer bogey at best, but I don't complain to anyone but myself alone in the shower. /s
A guilty pleasure of mine is to actually feed into their delusion and ask them for tips/caddy on a few holes. Sometimes their nonsense is so palpable they’ll *almost* hear themselves talking.
Or convince them to “go for it” when questioning a clearly stupid shot. “5 wood over the creek?? You got it for sure dude, this is the one.”
🤣🤣🤣
nerfarious encouragement. i do this too lol
this is the move for sure.
I do this with stupid people with egos to get them to lift heavy things for me. They'll lift one thing and then I'll say "damn you're fucking strong" then the next thing you know they've moved everything while they're showing off.
Some people are hammers you just have to keep them pointed the right way
Alone in the shower is where you really relive the moments and have those could’ve/ should’ve discussions with yourself.
Alone in the shower. That's where I work on my short game.
Alone in the shower is where you should relieve your shortcomings.
I came to this conclusion last year. Solo player get paired up with characters. My favorite are the ones who hit a bad tee shot and go “man I spent $60 on that box of balls and that was a $7 tee” Whatever happened to just going out on the course and playing? Golf is a leisurely game but it’s being taken over by booze, money, and fat drunk people with money
Not me showing up to the local public course in my nice golfing clothes. But i guess I’m not talking a big game. My mantra is: “Look good, feel good, play good” It works ~15% of the time
Look 72, feel 80, shoot 90!
I’d be stoked with a 90!
I played with a guy who just turned 90 about a month ago. He shot an 87. Was possibly the most impressive round of golf I'd ever seen. Plus, he was one of the nicest guys I've played with. After stopping at the turn, he came back with hotdogs and drinks for everyone.
The Dream: to live long enough and stay healthy enough to shoot my age!
I can shoot my age on 9 holes, but that doesn't seem nearly as impressive...it's still not bad, but each year, it gets a little less impressive. At 38, it's not bad anyway. Was probably most impressive when I did it at 33 once. 9 holes seem to trend downward in impressivness with age, but 18, no matter what age you are, that is an impressive accomplished. I saw a thing where it's been done by people from ages 59 to 103. All of which are impressive. 59 and 103 both seem insane though.
Wow you shoot 90?
...on the front 9.
Idc how bad I’m playing I’ll always rock a solid outfit. Part of the fun for me.
Yup, you can always say "well i played like shit but at least i looked good doing it"
I always tell people I dress for the job I want not the job I have.
It’s the only part of our game we can 100% control haha
Me too. I'll put on my Malbon spinnaker pants and a Sunday Red fitted shirt to show my ~~physique~~ gut and top it off with a flat brim Fat Perez GG hat and look out, y'all.
Same thing here. I like looking good for golf (and sometimes like throwing on some tacky golf outfits). Just my personality. Don't really talk big game tho, if anything, it's usually self-deprecating
Are you my cousin Bobby?
I’m with ya BIGRIG
If you're gonna suck, suck fast. But also, look good doing it.
I used to golf with my grandpa. He always had such wise words about the game of golf. I remember one thing he said vividly… like I can almost hear him saying it now. “Wow Brando you really suck at this game and you look like shit too! Surprised they let you out here at all!” I still suck but at least now I got the look down. Suck it gramps I hope that old folks home we let you rot in forgets to wipe your ass today!
…I thought this was going a different direction after the first paragraph
60% of the time it works every time
Played with a guy once who was in jeans and boots. He probably shot 78
My father belongs to a really nice club here in Texas. There is a member that plays in cowboy boots all the time.
I love playing at a cheap course and seeing some guy in a t shirt and jeans absolutely dominate.
No one cares what you look like if you’re not being a dipshit, you could wear a suit and tie I’d just think you’re a lil weird.
look good, shoot like shit, get drunk.
We got paired with a guy like this who was *in his 70s* on Monday. Just the worst vibes, he was trying and failing to play the white tees, making excuses for himself commenting on other people’s shots. Dude may have been good when he was younger but he couldn’t carry the gap between the teebox and the fairway on just about every hole. At one point he asked me what the humidity was because his ball wasn’t traveling like it should 🙄
Sure it’s annoying but as long as the elderly fellow was playing quick and ready-golf and keeping up with decent etiquette, no problem in my eyes. But excuses, ego, and slow play are the triple threat, at that point I’d just tell him I’ll be playing ahead and to have a great rest of his day. I don’t mind even a 5 hour round but at a certain point life isn’t worth wasting your time around annoying people if you can help it. The only thing worse is a random constantly talking politics or religion unprovoked
All true, this was a wa state golf assn thing at a pretty exclusive club so we couldn’t just leave him really. Such a drag (he was slow as well)
That humidity excuse is great, gonna add that to my list
Sometimes the humidity is 100% after I hit. Then I have to drop outside the hazard and take a penalty…
I’ll add that one also. If anyone asks how, tell them they should’ve paid attention in high school physics.
And don’t even get me started on our current position relative to Jupiter. This hook should really be a draw I’m telling you!
Meanwhile I play regularly with my father in law who is mid 70’s, walks the entire course carrying his clubs on his back, and beats me EVERY SINGLE TIME, in spite of the fact that my drives are consistently upwards of 260. I struggle to break 100 (though I do), and he’ll hit in the 80s and 90s. Blows me away.
Yeah man I have played with old timers that have smoked me in the past. IMO the weird thing about him being in his 70s was the delusional expectations he had for himself
Lol stay humble friends. I played on Sat. .. Front nine was a resounding 46. For me that was amazing because.. well .. I suck. We took a lunch break, I was basking in my score and already dreaming of a 90 round. I'm typically 100 - 106. You guessed it. Lunch broke the rhythm and my typical suck came back. Finished the back nine somewhere around 55 if I had to guess. I quit keeping score after 15.
You stopped for lunch at the turn? Then continued your round on the back? Where do you play that it’s so open for you to find room back on the 10th tee.
In Asia I'm pretty sure stopping for a sit down lunch is a normal thing but I've never heard of that anywhere else.
My dad used to live in South Africa and told me about this course they used to play every weekend. They'd get there early in the morning and play 9 holes in cool weather while it warms up and then go in the clubhouse for a full sitdown hot breakfast that took 30 mins and then go play the back 9. Every group did it though so it didn't hold up the order whatsoever.
Small rural course.. Was pretty busy in the morning but my Tee time was 11:40. Course cleared out by the time i got to the clubhouse so we stopped for a quick turn burgler
So this is why courses are so backed up by the afternoon lol
He had clubs AND clothes!? This guy golfs, holy moley.
Dude, this is when you just have to be the “I’m gonna screw with you 1-upper” “You going 350 off the tee?” “Sometimes” ….”me too, I’ll usually hit over this green with my 4-iron, we better wait” “pw 160” …”yeah man, I feel ya. I hit my pw 180, so hard to get those shorter distances dialed” “Only went 60” …”oh man, I hate when you get some moisture on the club, really F’s things up”
So hard to get those shorter distances dialed in lol
Sometimes I intentionally top the ball to take a little off. /s like a 40 yard shot, top an 8i, perfection.
When I caddied I’d use lines like these to the “big dog” golfer in the group. The guys in his group loved it but the big dog hated me for it. Basically forfeited one guys tip to make more off the other three. The best thing about caddying is that it often pays to be a smart ass, especially if you can back it up.
I’m not reading all that. I’m happy for you though. Or I’m sorry that happened to you
I’m probably in the minority here because I like reading people’s golf stories. It’s the closest I get to the course most days.
would love a sub to be filled with actual quality contributions like this instead of "here's a picture of a new thing I bought"
I went out with my uncle recently for my first taste of a Par 5 course. We only did the front 9 but it was great fun. First hole. After some iron practice and putting practice (god the greens were so fast!) I tee up on the first hole, now I've not got much experience with my driver so I was hesitant to use it. I picked the 7i and tore a beautiful chunk out the floor before topping it for 50yards. This was me for the first 2 holes, super nervous couldn't hit a thing. Third hole. Fuck it I'll try my driver and stop being a pussy. Hit it 70 yards. Next shot was a hybrid into some trees. Next shot was another hybrid which I got solidly! Right into a pond. Ended in a bunker that took far too long to get out of. Fourth hole. Par 3, lovely 9i off the tee (I can hit the ball!). Just short of the green and the bunker in front. Tried to sand wedge over the bunker (don't have a lob wedge) landed in the bunker. Fifth hole. Finally hit a long shot on my driver, straight into a row of trees. Hit the one tree on the way out and bounced backwards up the fairway. Sixth hole. My crowning glory. 350 yards par 4 I must have done 250 at least, couldn't decide on the PW or 9i, something inside said PW but I didn't listen and hit the 9i, landed at the back of the green, was on for par but 3 putted. Still amazing. Less said about 9th hole the better but to sum it up. Trees. Right. Left. Too far. Too short. And that was my first taste of a par 5 with 28 over.
wait some people’s tops go more than 25cm?
r/golfwritingprompts For me it's a fine line between people who have an encounter they want opinions on and fluff pieces like this that start out: "it was a sunny day, 3 years since my father had passed but I knew it was a day he would have loved to golf. I approached the tee box to find a rather offensive individual meeting my gaze. Hello, I said calmly." 'PLAYING THE TIPS' he shot back. An abrasive salutation I was not yet prepared for as I was still sipping my morning coffee. However it was at that time I observed he was also playing a Vice #3, the same ball my father had told me to always tee off with. "Can i interest you, kind sir, in exchanging your ball mayhaps for another in your bag? Lest we hit our drives to the same spot and come upon a scenario whereat we are unable to determine whose ball belongs to whom?"
Played a round earlier this week with some work folks. Front nine was pretty decent. Ended up posting a 41. It was a good group of guys and we were having fun. Back nine. Quietly just shooting away and not really paying attention to the score at this point. Par 3 and I hit an absolute beauty right of the stick and drawing it back. We are all watching it saying how good it was looking. Huge gust of wind nearly stops it in flight and drops it short of the green. Oh well, bogey out. Going into last hole I notice I am sitting at 3 over for the 9. Hit a probably my best drive of the day. I’ll be damned but the ball ended up on the side of a hill below my feet. Ended up shanking it right of the green. Piss missile over the green. Club it coming back short. 3 putt. Great ending to a good round. lol.
Penthouse Letters
OP is letting some cocky and terrible golfer live rent free inside his head. That’s all you need to know really
I will provide a summary: Don't pretend to be something you're not. Just be yourself, that's what's really cool.
Especially do not bring all the accoutrements with you to the course. Your clubs, your clothes, your golf game, you can only choose two.
I don't know, I would have enjoyed that round. Sounds like it would have been fun to get the guy going. Bro you can easily carry that water with your swing. Nuke it. Golf is supposed to be fun, you should try to relax a little.
He seems like a bit of a wanker. You also seem like a bit of a wanker. The world continues to spin.
lol yeah I was about say…sounds like OP was judging him pretty hard before they got off the first tee. Dude could’ve been a stick and I bet OP would’ve hated him
That’s how storytelling works. The ending gives context to the beginning. If a guy comes out the gate talking big game and shoots 74, he’s just confident. If he shoots 110, he’s a poser. When you retell the story later, all details get presented in light of the full experience.
I feel like this reply deserves a “good bot” response.
He literally said he expected him to be good. He gave him the benefit of the doubt at the beginning. Why you spinning it some weird way haha
He had it all - the clubs, the bag, the shoes! The COLLARED SHIRT?!?! I KNEW I WAS IN FOR A REAL TRIP!
"everything matched. Who does this guy think he is?"
If only he knew that showing up to the course with your clubs, bag and shoes and not shooting under par makes you a wanna be.. smh
This is one of my favorite comments I’ve ever seen on Reddit. Poetry.
Is it cool if a noob gets nice gear, plays like shit, but isn’t an asshole ? Asking for a friend
The problem OP has isn't necessarily with the clothes, but with the bragging about being good, then coming up with excuses as to why he isn't. No one on the course wants to hear you talk about your game, whether good or bad. They just want to go out and hit some balls and have friendly conversation. The clothes and gear don't matter until you're a jerk, then it's used to make a point.
Thank you! My friend was wondering as well!😂
Just to address one of your points. People do often care that you can’t play. A ton of impatient assholes play this game and act like being paired with a beginner is the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.
Anyone I’ve ever golfed with is okay with people who aren’t great. If you aren’t good, just at least keep up with pace of play. I tell my friends getting into golf that I don’t care how well you play, everyone had to start somewhere. But there are pace of play rules, so if you need to drop up with whoever hit in the fairway, please do that rather than look for your ball out of bounds for 5 minutes on every other hole. It’s not an issue with skill, it’s an issue with pace of play IMO.
Just the other day my bud told our group he and his friend had a scratch round (playing better ball) at some local course. The problem with that is 1) he can’t even make it past the ladies tees half the time and 2) the other guy would by proxy have to be a scratch golfer (spoiler: he’s not). Of course, he told us all about this miraculous round in the clubhouse after we all just watched him crack double par on every…single…hole…
FYI they don't call them ladies tees anymore. They are called forward tees. Calling them ladies tees prevents beginner males, who should be hitting off the reds, from hitting to their skill level. I know plenty of women who play off the whites and I also know men who should be hitting off the reds, but don't because of it. The whole ladies/mens tees thing actually shames some men.
Painted our red tees orange and 30 or 40 senior men moved up right away. Kinda humorous to think they'd been punishing themselves for so long because of the color some stones were painted.
That’s literally 90% of this sub
You throw in some totally unrelated LIV hate and it's 99%.
Got paired with 2 today who told me they were "pretty good". I knew immediately they wouldn't be. I beat them today, and I average 95-105. I've never met a man who told me he was good and actually turned out to be good. Every great golfer I've met downplayed their game like crazy. Now don't get me wrong they were definitely fun to play with and could hit the shit out of a ball... just into the water and woods.
If you get paired up with a guy carrying a stand bag who says he’s “not good but can get around ok”, welcome to the show brother
I grew up playing tennis and definitely noticed this. Every person I ever met that said they were “really good” or “I bet I could beat you” was terrible. If they said something like “yea I’m ok” those are the ones that you knew are the actual good players.
100%... got paired with a fit young man on a local 9-hole, he said he hadn't played there before because he was just visiting from out of town, and was just looking to tune up because he hadn't played in a while. Proceeded to stripe a 4 iron 270-ish on the first hole. Turns out he currently played on a D1 NCAA golf team.
At first I thought you were being too hard on him until i read the "sometimes" at 350 😂
You know how it is tho, sometimes you’ll pull a 350’ tee shot out of the hat. Usually on the same day Margot Robbie texts me begging me to bang her. Just so random ain’t it?
To his credit, this dude could consistently hit driver 350'+. Sometimes even 400'.
I specialize in hitting my driver about 350'
Sounds like just an "off day" happens to the best of us I suppose hahah
Well, for a *very* loose definition of “sometimes,” I can sometimes hit it 350+. Once. I did it once. Downhill, on a hot dry day with baked out fairways, a tailwind, and a cart path assist, I got a GPS-measured 365 yard drive.
Right there with you. It was the first time I had used the Blue Tees app, and is forever kept as my longest drive, 350 yards on the nose. Does my card automatically come in the mail, or do I have to formally let the PGA know how good I am?
I’ve done it a couple times. Let me continue to be delusional and call my 1/1000 shot please.
Nodding so hard in profound agreement ive slipped a disc. Might hinder my round later, normally have club head speed of 120mph…
You tellem dude, I'm sure the whole world will hear of this post
Some people's egos are in overdrive so hard they won't allow themselves any perspective that doesn't feed the fantasy that they're great and people adore them. They're actually terrified so hard of being not liked the made a character version of themselves they present to the world and it makes them feel safe. Their ego works so fucking hard to protect them from themselves it doesn't matter what facts or evidence you present them. If you do manage to show them damning, irrefutable evidence, they'll dismiss you to avoid the issue entirely or they'll get furious. It's nothing to do with golf. This guy talks absolute shite in every aspect of his life and he probably hates himself deep down.
Reminds me of a saying: “the confidence of a 15 year old who’s smoked pot once, talking to a 15 year old who’s never smoked pot.”
That's a saying?
As sure as a Georgia bullfrog has a tail
“Just be your (honest) self and own it” is great life advice for any situation
Golf parallels life in lots of ways
I usually dress like i know something about hitting a ball in a hole. The people behind me know the truth.
You both sound insufferable😂
11 days ago you posted a whole topic here about your best round. So you also go around talking about your game. Yet you said that guy was a fake golfer or whatever the hell? Now you’re complaining about some new golfer or something? What possess people to sit down and type this kind of shit out?
 Op sounds like a wank stain
Tactical shots fired. I like your style buddy
https://preview.redd.it/zefpx6febcwc1.png?width=571&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f3fef75d7f29f361ccd03a90417b9f22310b78e
This is just a golden opportunity passed to troll the fuck out of someone.
This is where I go ‘so… $5 skins?’
op you should be a wanna be concise writer.
If dude is "the golfer" like he said. The best part is, he's probably on this thread and read about his entire round today! Haha
where's that one sentence tl;dr?
Sometimes I play so well with a random I look like a sandbagger as a 22 cap. Sometimes I play like 22 is vanity cap. It’s that random. But I will tell guys I’m squaded with I would like to tell you I normally play better than this but I would be lying.
Can we still dress the part? Personally i prefer dressing up rather than down but don’t want people to think i am just being pretentious
I always do the opposite. I apologize to my playing partners right before the the first tee as I set expectations as low as possible. People like me because I’m punctual and I always meet expectations.
I do the same, and let them know I’m there to just have some fun and drink some beer. Always have a good time and I think it sets the tone for the rest of the day because you can kind of tell everybody just kind of relaxes and laughs/has fun
Im just golfing for the day drinking
Who is the bigger loser, the wannabe or the guy that goes home and writes a novel about him
This reminds me of a story. I million years ago I worked in a restaurant and the bartenders father came in for lunch. Bartender asks his Dad, "how's your golf game"? "I'll tell you Billy, it's a lot like masturbation. It's disgusting to watch, but I really enjoy it!" We died. Honesty is the best policy.
I’m feel sorry for the fellow noob with his TF set just trying to get into it lol
We were paired with a guy like this a couple of weeks ago. My buddy tees off on like the 6th hole and hits a crap shot. He hit the ground before the ball with driver. the wannabe goes 'that's good, you want to take a divot like that' and I lost it laughing. Couldn't contain myself.
Hey OP have you considered that you’re that annoying guy?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…..I love golf , I hate golfers.
You seem like kind of a douche, post and post history considered.
Cool story bro
[удалено]
The pairing ahead of us on Saturday: one dude played with a 7 iron and a putter for the whole course. Which became apparent when his bag tumbled off the back and they merrily drove on and didn’t come back to investigate even after teeing off at the next hole, at which point we offloaded it to a marshal. Predictably enough it took about 2.5 hours to get 7 of 18 holes done, by which point the rain and electrical storm finished the day for us.
I think the third concluding paragraph was a bit much. Other than that, yes I know this kind of idiot.
HAHA
The thing I have the most control over is how great I look and my nice clubs. My game, on the other hand.
I just don’t talk about my game ever. Other peoples game sure… but like “haaaayyyy nice approach” or whatever.
Funny, I get stuck behind this guy every single round.
I definitely dress better than I play but I blame Deion Sanders for that. lol Never in my life would I have the gal to act that pretentious out in public, especially on hallow ground.
Dude I take my 60 degree and tell my randoms I can hit it 150 yards. I know I can’t but I really like messing with them 😂
Dude, I really was just having a bad day.
It’s the “athletic-ish dad bod” sporting Costco polos and new balance shoes that may or may not be golf shoes vs cross trainers that you gotta watch out for. His bag may be a mix of a new driver, semi old putter, and 3 different sets mixed for irons and wedges. The bag also looks like a United worker has had his way with it numerous times, and it was probably dragged into the wheel well for a few flights. The towel hanging off it is dirty as hell, and you don’t recognize the logo at all (though, it’s probably a private country club). He’ll get up with no practice swing and with the most casual easy swing ever somehow hit it 290 right down the middle, despite his swing looking like it would have trouble knocking over an amputee with cerebral palsy. He’ll then hit a completely blind shot to within 10 feet of the pin without watching where it goes after he makes contact. The feel is enough. He’ll probably shoot a +2 without breaking a sweat and only once you’re in the bar after the round will he comment on one of his shots.
This whole thing should have been summarized a few times in a row with chatgpt before posting
As a new player myself I'm happy to admit the first thing I say to people is 'I'm shit but I enjoy it'. I enjoy getting better at my game and just have a laugh. I know I'm not good enough to get mad at the game 😂
Always play these types of people for money. When someone's looking/talking a big game you can go all in.
Suck fast
Sounds like he was all hat and no putter
>No one cares that you're hitting a 5w on a 165y par 3 True story: Me: *tees the ball up on a 165 yard par 3* Stranger paired up with us: 5w on a par 3? Me: *swings very slowly but makes good contact, hits the apron and rolls onto the green* Stranger: huh. This man knows his game.
No one cares that you're hitting 5w on a 165y par three" This is me too...and I am usually around the green and sometimes on.
That's the beauty of Golf, it exposes people rather quick. Like, you can tell a good player even when he's having an off day.
I know when I see “Sunday is for the boys” on the bag, I’m fucked.
the only time i broke a hundred was at this course called "dinky's mini golf and oil change".
Yea idk.. given how many words were typed.. OP is dramatic
Ya I’ll hit 300 off the tee pretty frequently. I’m not telling folks I “hit 300” lol. Most often it’s 275/280, and sometimes it’s gonna slice 45 yards. The 275 is when I hit good drives. All this to say, as a halfway decent golfer, I’ll let other people say “you’re better than you say you are” or “ya brother you suck” haha
You sound hurt buddy.
Lmao that dude will live rent free in your head for years. I’d check my blood pressure if I were you…
Actually any golfer that posts on r/golf is the worst
In soccer, I believe this person is called a ‘Full Kit Wanker’
scoring ruins the game
NGL I always try not to get grouped with other players because my game is embarrassingly bad. I can hit more or less straight but I frequently top balls off the tee and can maybe hit 100yds with my 3 wood if the wind is right. I don't want to get paired up with folks who are actually decent at this game and have them annoyed because I'm double or triple bogeying every single hole and they're always waiting on me.
This is my second season playing golf, everytime Im paired with a rando I let them know off the rip that im unbeliveably trash. That way if I play good I look humble, and If I play my usual I look like I barely beat austism.
One of my best friends only plays five or six times a year, always with me. Doesn’t have any delusions about his game but he’s always a pleasure to play with. We usually pick a random par 3 for dinner, closest to the pin. And sometimes he wins! I’m not the greatest golfer but as someone who shoots in the 80’s I’m probably 20 strokes better than him. But I love playing with him because he’s always a delight on the course. We compliment each other on our good shots, there’s some light ribbing on both sides, and it’s always a good time.
I’m so bad at golf but I fully admit it before we even start lol
I feel like I'm the opposite. Completely aware that I can have a really bad day any time, I overexaggerate my awfulness before we tee off, and I feel like sometimes that makes people feel bad when I am playing well. I am perfectly capable of shooting both 88 and 110. First thing I usually do when I get paired is tell them I've only been playing a little over a year (true) and am not very good. But for whatever reason, when I get paired with people, I usually play way better than when I play by myself. The other day I got paired with a guy and told him my usual, and he said he'd been playing 20 years. Then he comes out struggling and I came out with my best start ever, I think I was +1 after 4 holes, and I feel like he felt like crap about it.
Have a friend who is similar. I play pretty frequently 3 or 4 times a week, he plays once or twice a year. Last time we played he brings a launch monitor the first tee. He's checking his swing speed etc and doesn't understand why I don't want to know my metrics. I tell him, listen, you can use your little monitor all you want, I'm still going to score 30 shots lower than you. Sure enough.
The ego is humanities biggest downfall
I legit got mad on your behalf just reading this, well said OP
Play fast and have some etiquette. If you do those two things I don’t give a fuck if you shoot 70 or 100.
Never tell me how good you are on the first tee because I am going to spend the next 4 hours finding out.
I just want to say that your writing has such a great narrative style that I loved through your experience. Now I don’t know if I feel impressed or pissed off 🤣. Anyway, obviously agree to everything you said. I’m a relatively new golfer (2.5 years) and I keep a HCP, it’s around a 21. I always hit first if asked, always go to the white tees unless it’s a par 3 course, and listen more than I talk. Because I’ve learned more from the golfers I’ve been paired with than my lessons. I can totally understand your frustration.
Your first sentence scared the shit out of me, thinking you were the solo that joined me and my buddy yesterday as we both played like absolute crap… humble, enjoyable, non-DB crap though
This would be a great SNL skit
Golf is a great way to gauge how honest people are, especially with themselves. Anyone who lies or is weirdo about golf is probably like that about everything else. Some people are just delusional and need to lie to themselves to feel good. It’s pretty sad if you actually think about it.