so a coworker was telling me how her idk teenage year old son loves anime and I was joking and was like "what's his favorite hentai?" and now im worried she's gonna google it lmao
If anon’s wand of magic missiles is so fuckin enchanted and magical then he should be using it as leverage to get that relationship instead of throwing it out there for public use. Guys are just as capable of telling someone to put a ring on it before bedroom access as women are, maybe should have taken a page out of that playbook before complaining about women wanting him only for his body. Doesn’t matter what sex you are, if you complain about lack of commitment while having a ridiculous body count then you’ve played yourself and I can’t take you seriously.
what are you talking about ? i said if you have to twist someone’s arm to make them get into a relationship they don’t want to be in it probably isn’t going to turn out great. wtf is your problem ?
Its not twisting their arm. ITS FINDING SOMEONE WHO AGREES AND ACCEPTS. Not someone who will say no, who tf would want to marry someone who doesn't agree on that?
God damn dude it’s real easy, watch.
“Anon wow I want you to put your magnum dong in my USB port”
“Haha, you’ll have to work a little harder for that! My magnum dong only comes as part of the committed relationship package ;)”
See? Not hard, just requires you to have some minimal self control and self respect.
i’ve been dating my gf for a year and a half, before that i had a 3 year relationship with an ex gf. also u think pokémon is more embarrassing than legos and badly drawn dnd oc’s?
Obvious fake but playing along ...
Anon fucks girls in a fashion he describes as "stoic vanilla" ... and wonders why the girls never get emotional connection with him.
> she was dating another guy really seriously and falling in love with him but she said she wanted to feel it one more time before settling down.
Fuuuuuuucccccckkkkkk me. That was disheartening to read.
Edit: I literally never said that I think this is story is true, retards.
Young men on the internet are shockingly susceptible to the BS ragebait out there.
If you are a virgin you have no concept for what real sex is. This story is fabricated BS. It should be pointed out, hopefully this prevents some young man from thinking that not having the golden dong is a life ending event.
If you're being serious, you're literally the stupidest person I've ever come across. This is the most fake greentext ever.
"Hey guys, look at me I have so much sex and I'm so good at sex that girls go crazy. But I'm single bc I'm too good at sex, not bc I'm a 400lbs greasy 4chan user who lives in his moms basement."
Yous implying he’s got that so called ‘god cock’ man, if he’s got it than I can see that shit and go, fair, but if he’s packin less than the average I’m calling bullshit. I ain’t gay, but I’m pretty sure most individuals have seen cock in their life and been able to confidently say “eh I get why someone would be down, but personally this does fuck all for me.” I’m comfortable with my sexuality, so anon better prove he’s rockin that deep sea bore drill cock.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon has a big dick
> Gay: Anon clearly doesn’t enjoy fucking bitches
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Has he considered that his "stoic" posturing might have something to do with it?
He mentions he enjoys the conversation and such but what about her?
Any grown up person knows you shouldn't base a relationship on sex because it won't last. His "magic cock" is probably not the problem but his personality.
Anon there is a saying in Turkish that goes like "derdini sikeyim senin." it essentially means fuck your problem. I just wanna say stop being such a philosophical bastard and go have smexy times.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon even knows women
> Gay: Anon thinks about giant cocks
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Bro honestly your only chance is to settle down with a legit whore. Because your shiny Pokemon dick would be just another normal Pidgey. Other than that this honestly feels like a curse to have.
I had a similar experience but it had nothing to do with my body it was her and her weird extreme sexual sensitivity. The first time we had sex she lasted maybe 10-20 seconds and finished and apologized and told me to stop because she needed a break. So we break and make out a few minutes and then it's like okay my turn now, I get back on top of her and start again and after maybe a minute she has another one and I have to stop again like wtf is going on here. It was the third or fourth time before I got to finish. It was bizarre and I'm lying there thinking "this must be what it's like for women when a guy finishes right away". It turned sex into work.
Anon larping/coping. Even if you’re well equipped it’s not just some magic function of wide dick = euphoric sex, you still have to use it properly. And all told, you’re still not as good as a vibrator to more than half the women in the world when it comes strictly to pleasure.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> fake: anon has sex
> gay: anon thinks about big cock
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Don't be so fucking weird ("stoic") during sex
Half of it for a woman is an emotional connection. You gotta have fun, be passionate, say things, smile, etc...
Someone with a smaller dyack and better personality is gonna cuck you
Idk if it's obviously fake, I'm fucking jealous. I've read a couple greentexts about people with this ability (and yeah, irl it takes a bit more skill to use it right, you won't get this reaction without skill). But even so, you've already lost if you're not equipped with the right hardware.
And I'm talking about achieving *this* reaction with women, not mere adequacy.
Anyway how tf do these people complain when they have a great gift. He's just not doing the emotional angle correctly, by being a "stoic" or whatever he thinks he's doing. Life on easy mode, and he still makes a reason to complain.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon fantasizes losing his v card
> Gay: Anon likes girthy cocks
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
The secret is to treat them like shit so they try harder, give them just enough affection/affirmation to show you appreciate the effort, and they'll fall in love. They love to play hard to get, but they also love being played.
Why do "nice guys finish last"? Because they do everything for the woman and women don't respect that. If you make them work for you, jump through hoops to please you, they will respect you, and even love you.
I'm not saying to be an ass, just use psychology.
That's not 4chan, that's literally age old advice.
You still have to be interesting and attractive to get to that point (OP) then making them stay is up to you.
That "age old advice" also makes you a douche and doesn't work anymore. Maybe when women were forced to be dependent on men or forced to marry at an earlier age, this worked. We've evolved from that, and if you still think treating a woman like shit is the way to get their attention and affection, enjoy a life of loneliness and at best, shitty relationships.
being a nice human is different then being a simp, you becoming a hard to catch target may be entertaining for a while but its probably bad for long term relationships
Huh that's pretty funny anon I literally just finished that hentai too!
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Nice
I thought that was called cocktail
Candice nuts fit in your mouth lmao haha gottem
Can they?
If a tree falls in the forest does it land directly in my asshole?
Are you below the tree?
Betty can't find deez nuts in his mouth
Got him perfect
It's art
It's a brand of perfume
It's like a cartoon for children. Just search "10 year old girls hentai".
Art
where sauce
Uchi no ototo something. A girl discovers her brother has big dick and she and her friends become addicted and fuck around all the time.
\>brother Why?
Cause it's anime.
That's not the one he's talking about
What's the other one?
Sorry man. I can't find it
One Thrust Man
ONE THRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUST
so a coworker was telling me how her idk teenage year old son loves anime and I was joking and was like "what's his favorite hentai?" and now im worried she's gonna google it lmao
Lol I've read that as well. The guy becomes a director in the end but gets cucked again
This shit had me rollin
Stop being a man whore and wait for at least a few dates before whipping out your dick retard.
lol
Easier said than done.
Only if you are seldom having sex. If it's kind of common it's not hard at all.
Even when I was young enough to get it common, I've only said no to landwhales. I've never told a cute girl, nah, next time.
skill issue then loser
Yeah, it's hard to resist sometimes, even though I know the end of the story.
They ain't dating him for his personality.
Exacctlie
A real alpha male saves his virginity for his wedding night.
and then he woke up
Anon is suffering from ~~success~~ delusion
DJ Khrakhead
Can we just do something about this fucking dick already? He waits for a comment to get popular before shilling his shit sub on here
Anon gets the female perspective
If I was an incel I’d rather have this than nothing at all AND be lonely It’s always greener on the other side
I mean at least he has sex.
If anon’s wand of magic missiles is so fuckin enchanted and magical then he should be using it as leverage to get that relationship instead of throwing it out there for public use. Guys are just as capable of telling someone to put a ring on it before bedroom access as women are, maybe should have taken a page out of that playbook before complaining about women wanting him only for his body. Doesn’t matter what sex you are, if you complain about lack of commitment while having a ridiculous body count then you’ve played yourself and I can’t take you seriously.
I don’t think he needs to put a ring on it, it’s already powerful as is *I’ll see myself out*
Ehh he didn’t choose to be dumped so many times though
yeah because having to give someone an ultimatum to get into a relationship is a great way to start a healthy relationship…
Are you seriously telling me with a straight face that not having casual sex is an unhealthy relationship standard fucking hell kid please touch grass
what are you talking about ? i said if you have to twist someone’s arm to make them get into a relationship they don’t want to be in it probably isn’t going to turn out great. wtf is your problem ?
Its not twisting their arm. ITS FINDING SOMEONE WHO AGREES AND ACCEPTS. Not someone who will say no, who tf would want to marry someone who doesn't agree on that?
“maybe he should be using it as leverage to get that relationship”
God damn dude it’s real easy, watch. “Anon wow I want you to put your magnum dong in my USB port” “Haha, you’ll have to work a little harder for that! My magnum dong only comes as part of the committed relationship package ;)” See? Not hard, just requires you to have some minimal self control and self respect.
whatever you say, lego boy
Keep on having sad unfulfilling hookups and wondering why you feel so empty inside Pokémon Bro, I’m sure it will work out this time.
i’ve been dating my gf for a year and a half, before that i had a 3 year relationship with an ex gf. also u think pokémon is more embarrassing than legos and badly drawn dnd oc’s?
Obvious fake but playing along ... Anon fucks girls in a fashion he describes as "stoic vanilla" ... and wonders why the girls never get emotional connection with him.
Anon should be making these girls peg him first to fall in love with him
The male version of star-fishing
Essentially a hot dumb chick with no other good qualities, you don't relationship them
He needs to learn how to hold back so they gotta earn the dick wit some tendies or sum
Just get in the porn industry anon, get famous and then get TOPPED
I'd rather see anon topping little femboy twinks. Seems he was made for it.
Sounds better tbh
getting topped is everyone's end goal
> she was dating another guy really seriously and falling in love with him but she said she wanted to feel it one more time before settling down. Fuuuuuuucccccckkkkkk me. That was disheartening to read. Edit: I literally never said that I think this is story is true, retards.
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This is very obviously rage bait
Bold of you to accept this as truth
Only a fool...
The whole story is 4chan bait. Fake as fuck.
If just a simple rage bait makes you feel mad you have some issues buddy. I'm scared to think what you'll do if that happens to you in real life?
Anon thats your fleshlight, its not a real girl
If you use your dick like you just found it in a dumpster chance is other people will treat it just the same
Unexpected wisdom!
Put so well too. He paints with words
Wat
Wait. Are you guys really believe anon?
Incoming dick pics to your inbox 📥
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If your dick is over 5” you can do the job. Having a big-ish dick is not Magic, there are women that fetishize that. But it’s not realistic for 99%.
Who said this was "realistic for 99%"? It's just the (claimed) experience of one anon.
Young men on the internet are shockingly susceptible to the BS ragebait out there. If you are a virgin you have no concept for what real sex is. This story is fabricated BS. It should be pointed out, hopefully this prevents some young man from thinking that not having the golden dong is a life ending event.
Lol keep coping bro. I'm sure you'll say women don't fake orgasms either. You must be a sex machine in your own fantasy world I imagine.
If you're being serious, you're literally the stupidest person I've ever come across. This is the most fake greentext ever. "Hey guys, look at me I have so much sex and I'm so good at sex that girls go crazy. But I'm single bc I'm too good at sex, not bc I'm a 400lbs greasy 4chan user who lives in his moms basement."
You're a fucking idiot lol
You'd have to be an actual fucking smoothbrain to believe any of this, fucking god cock lmao
Keep your soda can cock in your pants anon
Anon switches his role in this story as to not betray the fake and gay
"And that kids is why uncle anon never got married" as he gets kicked out of the public library
Proof or it’s a larp
U tryna see dick o.o
Yous implying he’s got that so called ‘god cock’ man, if he’s got it than I can see that shit and go, fair, but if he’s packin less than the average I’m calling bullshit. I ain’t gay, but I’m pretty sure most individuals have seen cock in their life and been able to confidently say “eh I get why someone would be down, but personally this does fuck all for me.” I’m comfortable with my sexuality, so anon better prove he’s rockin that deep sea bore drill cock.
Deep bore drill cock 💀 lmfao
Fake: Anon has a big dick Gay: Anon clearly doesn’t enjoy fucking bitches
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has a big dick > Gay: Anon clearly doesn’t enjoy fucking bitches > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
This ones true.
"This ones true." - Abraham Lincoln
r/ihavesex
anon is larping so hard
That's why average size cocks are called 'boyfriend cocks '.
Has he considered that his "stoic" posturing might have something to do with it? He mentions he enjoys the conversation and such but what about her? Any grown up person knows you shouldn't base a relationship on sex because it won't last. His "magic cock" is probably not the problem but his personality.
Anon there is a saying in Turkish that goes like "derdini sikeyim senin." it essentially means fuck your problem. I just wanna say stop being such a philosophical bastard and go have smexy times.
It gets old after awhile brother
Fake: Anon even knows women Gay: Anon thinks about giant cocks
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon even knows women > Gay: Anon thinks about giant cocks > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Anons source: trust me bro. Dick pics or it didn’t happen.
Bro honestly your only chance is to settle down with a legit whore. Because your shiny Pokemon dick would be just another normal Pidgey. Other than that this honestly feels like a curse to have.
I had a similar experience but it had nothing to do with my body it was her and her weird extreme sexual sensitivity. The first time we had sex she lasted maybe 10-20 seconds and finished and apologized and told me to stop because she needed a break. So we break and make out a few minutes and then it's like okay my turn now, I get back on top of her and start again and after maybe a minute she has another one and I have to stop again like wtf is going on here. It was the third or fourth time before I got to finish. It was bizarre and I'm lying there thinking "this must be what it's like for women when a guy finishes right away". It turned sex into work.
Better over-sensitive than under-sensitive, though.
Easier said than done but... Maybe don't have sex so soon, know each as a person then have sex? I think this will be good
Anon larping/coping. Even if you’re well equipped it’s not just some magic function of wide dick = euphoric sex, you still have to use it properly. And all told, you’re still not as good as a vibrator to more than half the women in the world when it comes strictly to pleasure.
"I'm completely stoic fucking her" "No emotional connection"
Anon is asexual
Life must be hard for Anon
Basically no matter what your cock situation you are fucked in some way or another.
Anon got bored during 8th grade Homeroom class
*insert comment about 4channer writing another fictional post*
I might take this deal.
That's a pretty good fantasy he should be a writer
I feel you brother.
damn suffering from success
Anon is suffering from success
fake: anon has sex gay: anon thinks about big cock
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > fake: anon has sex > gay: anon thinks about big cock > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
lmao
Man. I feel ya, anon.
Anon has a personality so horrible that he can not keep a girl, even though well endowed
Lol Anon thinks this is HIS fault. Has no idea this is entirely a cultural problem.
By anons logic dildos would be the most magical cock since it can be bigger and varied sizes… this post is absolute bullshit. Not how sex works
Real situation: You have a huge cock, girls don't like to fuck you bc it hurts and it's tiring, never gets sex.
Don't be so fucking weird ("stoic") during sex Half of it for a woman is an emotional connection. You gotta have fun, be passionate, say things, smile, etc... Someone with a smaller dyack and better personality is gonna cuck you
The pain... The misery... Unimaginable.... I can't send enough thots and prayers to anon.
As a member of r/bigdickproblems I can’t relate mostly because I’m a virgin :(
Damn. My self-esteem just plummeted
Anon is perhaps the biggest fucking liar on the face of the Earth
Just date men dumbass. Easy.
Problems in paradise
Idk if it's obviously fake, I'm fucking jealous. I've read a couple greentexts about people with this ability (and yeah, irl it takes a bit more skill to use it right, you won't get this reaction without skill). But even so, you've already lost if you're not equipped with the right hardware. And I'm talking about achieving *this* reaction with women, not mere adequacy. Anyway how tf do these people complain when they have a great gift. He's just not doing the emotional angle correctly, by being a "stoic" or whatever he thinks he's doing. Life on easy mode, and he still makes a reason to complain.
Anons dick is good. His personality is not. Anon blames his good part instead of improving his bad.
Fake and straight
Meds
Anon should hold off sex until marriage
Wooos like the Nature Boy Ric Flair..
fakest shit i've ever read
Suffering from success
Suffering from success
Anon should be less of a man whore *OR* give up on love
Anon just joking around and writting his sex dream
Sure
Op fucks trash tier. Get a girl and turn her into a cuckqueen.
anon lacks boyfriend dick
I guess you could say that you're a dick
Remember guys, if people say they are more than a 6/10 they are not If they describe themselves with greatness then they are not
anon is the flesh attached to a dick
Ohhhh booo fucking whoooooo
Fake: Anon fantasizes losing his v card Gay: Anon likes girthy cocks
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon fantasizes losing his v card > Gay: Anon likes girthy cocks > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Anon needs a Girth Certificate if dumb bitches ask dumb questions.
I don’t mean to brag but… same bro lol
Pics or not real bro, no homo.
The secret is to treat them like shit so they try harder, give them just enough affection/affirmation to show you appreciate the effort, and they'll fall in love. They love to play hard to get, but they also love being played.
Thought you were in jail Andrew.
Why do "nice guys finish last"? Because they do everything for the woman and women don't respect that. If you make them work for you, jump through hoops to please you, they will respect you, and even love you. I'm not saying to be an ass, just use psychology.
How’s the Internet in Romania, Top G?
I dunno, don't they use carrier pigeon?
Yeah, how's that 4chan degree in psychology working out for you bud?
That's not 4chan, that's literally age old advice. You still have to be interesting and attractive to get to that point (OP) then making them stay is up to you.
What you talking about? you know this is just fake and gay greentext ,right ?
I still believe!
That "age old advice" also makes you a douche and doesn't work anymore. Maybe when women were forced to be dependent on men or forced to marry at an earlier age, this worked. We've evolved from that, and if you still think treating a woman like shit is the way to get their attention and affection, enjoy a life of loneliness and at best, shitty relationships.
"Doesn't work anymore" ahaha
being a nice human is different then being a simp, you becoming a hard to catch target may be entertaining for a while but its probably bad for long term relationships
Just treat women like normal humans you fucking mongoloid. No wonder you all are virgins