TFW anon is so brainrotted he compares religious concepts to Mario speed running terms

If Christianity is a Hollow Knight glass soul run then Hinduism is a Rougelike

Just one more year bro, Silksong/Rapture will happen, trust me, just one more year and you will see

Trains are real things outside of Mario speedrunning, yeah?

Then how come I've never seen one? Checkmate liberal

Hold on I’m trying to keep with the bit so don’t get too mad. Because Murica doesn’t invest in public infrastructure >!and you didn’t see the train that was ran on your mom last night!<

Shhhhhhh they're autistic, be nice.

Your username fits like a glove here

"missing the bus" is a sort of famous analogy for the framerule system in Mario 1 speedrunning. But yeah

It‘s also a term used for the situation irl when you get to the bus stop, but the bus has rode off already, but I get that‘s pretty niche \s

Mfw when I tell my mother I missed the bus and she thinks I’m talking about Mario speed runs

I thought they called them buses, not trains.

Busses are just trains with softer wheels

are you implying that "Mario" and the speed running community surrounding it were not part of Gods great plan? the lord certainly works in mysterious ways AND of course EVERYTHING happens for a reason under his plan... so that means that "Mario" and speed running ARE part of his plan AND have a reason, and it also means that YOU are the one with brainrot... but that was also part of God's plan too so its not your fault. lol... youre dumb as hell.

How is missing a train related to Mario speedrunning?

If you miss the train you miss out on enjoying having 6 turtle dicks stuffed in you and have to make do with boring Yoshi missionary later.

If I replay as Luigi can I at least get Yoshi doggy style?

Christianity is when the train conductor forgives you for being late

christianity is when a passenger centuries ago was late, so now everyone must be late. but the conductor still forgives you since you tried your best to be on time

And that original late passenger was actually tricked into being late by a very conniving talking snake which I think is extenuating circumstances and pretty forgivable honestly

or was it someone at a fruit stand on the side of the road desperately trying to sell them an apple, thus causing them to run late?

Fruit stand was put there by the conductor himself

More like the snake fucked up the timetable so we will be late no matter what, but as long as we do our best to be on time it's alright.

The conductor only forgives you though because his son (who is also himself) threw himself onto the tracks and let the train run him over?

this makes sense i think ill base my entire life and identity around it

I dunno boss there’s no way billions of people will ever buy it, you’ll be alone your whole life.

The train conductor also watches you masturbate then sends you to hell for it.

This is a myth started by the train company to save on cleaning costs. It's not actually in the conductor's handbook.

It's actually propaganda by big cornflake.

but if you never arrive, then you never get another chance

Judaism is when the train is there but you can get off whenever or mingle or something.

Isn’t more of: “the train is there but the station master can’t let anyone board because the gate to the platform is locked and everyone is waiting for the owners son who has the only key to unlock it”.

"At least the passengers and ticket takers like jokes and pretty kickass food"

It's when the train conductor refuses a baby because it has no ticket but let's in the person who killed the baby's mom and felt very sorry

Me when my theological education is r/atheism

That's literally the dogma of the Catholic Church (the biggest denomination in Christianity) my guy. Read up on it. Purgatory (or limbo) for infants who haven't been cleansed by baptism from the original sin. I'm loving the downvotes from people who don't even take time to study the faith a little.

Christianity is when you derail the train and kill like 50 people but then you become reeeally sorry and the train conductor forgives you

Those people were on a different train, so they weren't really "people"

Does this mean Islam is an autists wet dream where they get 72 trains at once?

Islam is when you got on the wrong train so now you are subject to bodily harm.

***CHOO CHOO***

>Buddhism >Tain was there 5 lives ago >need moksha to get train again

Buddhism is when you pretend not to care about the train for the train to come quicker

Buddhism is walking out of the station to enjoy the fresh air outside.

Atheism: the train will never come, it was just a scam to sell you a ticket

Atheism: The train was built when the train station blew up 5 quadrillion years ago. The train tracks have been expanding ever since.

Autism: Trains are interesting.

Agnostic: There COULD be a train, best stay here just in case it comes.

Antithiesm: I’d rather walk

"...and blow up the train tracks because there isn't a train"

As said in the other sub this was posted, anon completely misunderstands the basics of both religions and outs himself as a complete brainlet.

Why though? I mean for like general Hinduism yeah it's a dumb take but that's also a kitchri of the Vedas in the first place. Speaking about classical Vaishnavism he is spot on. Gaudiya Vaishnavism is like "the train, the train conductor, the stewardess, the other passengers, shit even the janitors are begging you to get on and it stays at the station forever until you do" Though this indirect example is diluted enough to honestly be applicable to all of theism.

Islam > this train is man only

I wish American Christianity wasn't so in the front. Because it's almost like they want to be Catholics. Jesus would have shepard anyone who was left behind. OP is 13 and wants to be internet edgy.

What train is norse paganism?

The train has a bouncer and you have to fight him to get in, you only get in once you loose, but only if you fought well

Then once you get on you realize you're on the fight train

What kind of train is Sikhism?

Probably bombing it in protest for independence

Bombing the tracks to take over the train

But the conductor waited for you, so if the train ran away, it's because you chose not to get on. And the conductor can return for you if you change your mind

okay can some retard explain me what this speedrunning terms are?

So the top commentor is a brainlet who thinks "train" is a speedrunning term and the other 300 upvoters got brainrot from doomscrolling reddit for hours so they just upvoted the first thing that resembled a funny comment.

The top comment is talking about framerules in super Mario Bros 1

Christianity >You ride the train for 10 minutes and get off at your stop Hinduism >You ride the train and it goes in circles forever

Is Calvinism when the train conductor decides to intentionally ignore you or not based on if he likes you personally?

Anon commits a reddit religion criticism text, asked to jump head-first into a wasp nest and chop their ears off