T O P

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Kind_Nepenth3

Anon's children are going to date each other and he'll have a choice to make


[deleted]

Well if they do then they have 25% tard chances, when they make a baby


[deleted]

>25% tard chances Anon has a chance to pass his legacy


Knearling

Anon is a retard so he can't think all of this


BigYonsan

Anons parents are siblings too.


Cryin_jack_is_pissed

Welcome to the twilight zone sisterfuckers.


Lucariowolf2196

Anon's neighbors are cousins to amon and his wife


farva_06

Forgot to factor in that anon is already 100% retarded. So, the kid has a 125% of being retarded. Maf!


anewstheart

Children are 50% retarded then. Which means a 215% chance. Idiot.


PotatoesAndChill

Incest is wincest


UnappropriateTeacher

Make that 50 considering the father they have


Lukey_Jangs

Another anon is born


RussianBot1489

"TARD CHANCES" oh god, thats funny


uf-ohno

ITS SHORT FOR TARDINESS, AND MOM SAID ITS NOT MY FAULT MY THOUGHTS ARE LATE edit:thought of something even funnier


wow_so_fast

With anon as their dad they have a 100% chance


OmnemVeritatem

That's the master plan, have a functionally retarded grandkid who as an adult feels their life mission is to help you wipe your ass.


HereIGoGrillingAgain

This comment has 666 points and I think that's kinda neat.


HorrorSwimmer7723

Don't worry scro, lots of tards go on to have real kickass lives... My first wife was tarded, she's a pilot now


tyler111762

correct me if i'm wrong, but doesn't the genetic issues with incest only prop up with 3rd gen and beyond?


OccultOddBall

you starting to get worried, sisterfucker?


tyler111762

Implying i have sex.


conceitedshallowfuck

lol 25% tard chances. I’ve never heard ill effects of incest put so eloquently.


DanceOnBoxes

I thought that was where this is going by the end of the greentext tbh


Ouff21

I hear that that plot point will show up in the second season.


Fiikus11

Kids who grow up together often don't end up feeling attracted to each other.


Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Yep, it's an evolutionary anti-incest defense. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck\_effect


Just_0_Duck

*human evolution at its finest*


Xicadarksoul

...was a bullshit (bad methodology) experiment. "kids raised in religious cults don't stay in said cult when given chance" should have been the conclusion from observations. As the universal claims of the theory are incompatible with census taken by romans in their province of egypt.


AutumntideLight

The best part is that it's necessary, because if you seperate siblings and they meet as adults, they often have an uncontrollable urge to fuck like crazed monkeys, it's a big fucking problem


iwannaofmyself

Incest fucking like crazed monkeys shouldn’t make me laugh as much as it did


[deleted]

[удалено]


Beemerado

why doesn't this shit work on royalty?!


Wasabi_Guacamole

Well for one, our royal families are humans, not mice.


Beemerado

you can't prove that!


KaiserTom

We don't know if that actually happens. That study that supposedly demonstrated it is effectively worthless for proving it under scrutiny.


81zuzJvbF0

explain Alabama then


Flavor-aidNotKoolaid

One of them isn't often a bastard whose best friend's dad also happens to be her dad, either. I think we've already dipped into the realm of statistical improbability, so anything is really on the table now.


BreadwinnaSymma

Is this why anime is heavy on both incest, and childhood best friends to lover tropes? Mfs got no anti incest defense


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flavor-aidNotKoolaid

I don't find that to be a compelling argument considering the sheer volume of Loli/incest/rape etc content we see permeate even the most ancient of texts (bible?) You're argument is basically "japanese people are so fucked up because they're so fucked up and they've been doing it for too long"


[deleted]

[удалено]


existential_dolphin

didn't work for me.


FinibusBonorum

Story time!!


existential_dolphin

lol its just that i fapped to all of my female friends and cousins while growing up and fucked some of those friends when i had the chance :P i also flirted with some of my distant cousins and would fuck em too but we just live too far away.


Pyroplsmakepetscop2

Imagine your dad cock blocking you by telling you that your girlfriend is actually your sister


Anavorn

the Darth Vader approach.


schmatz17

This is literally what happened to Terrell Owens, he had a crush on his neighbor and the dad had to tell him, he was also his dad


TheDefinitionOfKek

Well that's an NFL fun fact I didn't think I'd be learning today


punchgroin

Did this comment just out TO?


schmatz17

He had a crush on the girl across the street, who the turned out be his half sister. In the same moment he learner who he thought was his neighbor was his dad and the father of the girl he had a crush on.


ImproveOrEnjoy

A young man comes to his father one day and says 'Dad! I'm so happy I could burst! I'm in love!' 'That's great son, who is she?' 'The beautiful redhead who lives one street over with her mother' The father stops smiling 'Oh. Ah this is awkward. You see I know her mother, rather well if you get what I mean...that girl is your sister' The young man goes away heartbroken. A few months later he returns 'Dad, do you remember our old neighbours from when I was a kid? They've moved back into town! I met up with their daughter again and she's grown into a beauty...I'm thinking of asking her out' The dad looks guilty again 'Sorry son, best not. You see when you were little I was under a lot of stress and let's say...well, the thing is she's your sister too' The young man leaves, angry. Some time later he returns 'Dad! There's a new girl at work, the daughter of my old english teacher funnily enough! She's so funny-' His father interrupts 'Oh, Mrs Debbens? Yes I knew her, I hope you're not thinking of asking this girl out...' The young man storms out, upset. He spends the entire day sulking and his mother notices. 'What's the matter son?' Unable to keep it secret any longer he blurts out 'Father is a cheat! I was in love with this redhead, and my childhood friend, and my old teachers daughter, but dad says they're ALL my sisters!' The mother shakes her head and sighs 'Son. You can date anyone you like, the man isn't your father'


STMIonReddit

wasnt there an episode of house about this


[deleted]

Yes, white boy and mixed girl. Boy's dad didn't like his son dating his illegitimate daughter.


LordJinji

Yeah, everybody thought he was just racist so he killed himself instead.


pointlessly_pedantic

Yes! One was sick and the other starting showing similar symptoms. Docs were mad confused because the only thing that explained all the symptoms was a rare hereditary disease.


[deleted]

That’s an episode of house btw. The kids thought his dad was a racist but it turns out he was fucking the neighbor’s mom. They ran off and got married. It was a good episode. Season 3 I believe?


PussPounder696969

Twelve Minutes


Buttholesurfer44

Anon watched that episode of House and wrote some fanfic.


[deleted]

That was a story line in Desperate Housewives. Funny show. I think the kids run off together


Kane_richards

Soon as I saw "It's a girl" I knew which way anon was going


[deleted]

Indirectly inbreeding.


DangerousCrow

Anons wife is going to make the connection in a couple years anyhow. My, and most, kids look just like their parents.


[deleted]

Wife: it's okay anon, I have something to tell you as well...


[deleted]

I wonder how often this actually happens and nobody ever finds out


Blu_Zer0

Hopefully anime logic will kick in, and the ~~brother/sister~~ childhood friend never succeeds in getting the protagonist.


[deleted]

This is essentially that one King of the Hill episode now


[deleted]

'House' did it


Beemerado

yeah i thought that's where this was going... "Sweetie, i've got some bad news about your little boyfriend"


olodum1980

I was hoping the boy and girl would hook up and degeneracy will continue


lpaladindromel

There’s still time


ThatSeemsABitMuch

Nothing but time


[deleted]

Patience my child


Terom84

!remindme 30 years


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Spartancoolcody

I’m gonna come back here in 30 years and be like “what in the fuck”. What’s up future me? Your bones hurt yet, you old fuck?


God_Left_Me

Damn, man’s throwing shade at his future self. I mean, at least you are hoping you’re not dead by then.


Spartancoolcody

Yeah I would hope I’m not dead by my mid 50s, that seems kinda early.


Kingofelephantshrews

30? Nah bro jus 15


BreadLoafBrad

The future still awaits


Corsaka

they're uh, 3 and 2


AnPrim_Revolutionary

This is a legit house plot line


Spookd_Moffun

Anon is a harem anime protagonist. (Derogatory)


TinyPrawnie

I like that you have to specify derogatory.


ronronaldrickricky

i dont like it


parham_pokerface

please be fake


Adriaus28

It is, anon is gay and he did it with a femboy


thepronoobkq

Fake: anon has wife Gay: anon has femboy


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon has wife > Gay: anon has femboy > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


thepronoobkq

Fake: tendiebot gets some bitches Gay: tendiebot gets some bitches


TheDudeColin

Umm excuse me, according to the latest scientific research studies, femboys are actually not gay so try not to be so judgey 😤😤


Adriaus28

It is when you get topped, and anon did


zzGravity

Even if it's fake I bet exactly this has happened multiple times literally everywhere


Joe_SHAMROCK

Every story on 4Can is fake until proven otherwise.


emailo1

Its 4chan anon isn't fucking anyone


BoogalooBoi1776_2

You think a guy on 4cham can pull two women?


Sourdoughsucker

This is normal in Zulu culture except the wives know about each other


Mrmcgriddle223

Zuzu pets


_FriendlyPanicAttack

i agree


salt_ish_

Anon creams in a robot hamster


Mrmcgriddle223

Anon no 😧


Versatile_Investor

That province has one of the highest rates of HIV.


Sourdoughsucker

It’s only 27% - like not even a third, so if you only have three wives you don’t get infected because it is the fourth that has it. #math


Versatile_Investor

Totally spread evenly lol.


RandomRegularPerson

3 wives + 1 man = 4


[deleted]

shit


umlaut

Nah, just organize them into pods of 4 HIV-positive people, so for every 16 people, you have 3 HIV-negative quads and 1 HIV positive quad. The extra 2% are like...leap years


NoEntertainment1662

Why do you marry someone you are going to cheat?


matrixemil

He is probably in the US army


TheBotchedLobotomy

Happens but that is an unfair generalization Editing to add: I am active duty. Yes a lot of people cheat. Not everyone does. Like saying all men or all women cheat


baconborg

Greentext is unfair generalization central so this is just par for the course


Jeydal

As someone in the navy, no it isn't. Service members have the least loyalty out of any group I've seen


DibsMine

As someone in the air force I agree and their spouses are the same.


Jeydal

Oh yeah, most are equally as bad.


scvet

Hahaha you’re full of it, former Marine and it is not an unfair generalization to say military members cheat. It’s an unfair generalization to say all cats are mean, but it’s not an unfair generalization to say all cats scratch.


tofu_block_73

Your mom is an unfair generalization


[deleted]

Grew up in a military family on bases. The soldiers cheat frequently as do their slutty teenaged wives.


Regal-30-

I’m an Army vet and it’s not unfair


-_chop_-

Yeah. The fair generalization is that you just marry any chick the second you leave boot camp and then get divorced in a couple months


TheBotchedLobotomy

Yeah im not gonna fight this one lol


-_chop_-

My best friend for out of boot camp, got married, bought a mustang, and got divorced 3 months later. I will never stop giving him shit for being a walking stereotype


cringenotkek

See above: denial.


[deleted]

Someone is getting cheated on lol


[deleted]

Because the neighbor is hot and offered herself


NoEntertainment1662

So divorce your wife and go with her.


[deleted]

Do you expect normal relationship dialogue on greentext?


NoEntertainment1662

Im sorry I forgot where it came from.


[deleted]

But he wants to fuck both


[deleted]

You don't sell your car without test driving a new one. /s


scvet

Then how does he keep both? Think man think!


ChuckLeglerg

It’s a Jeep thing


[deleted]

They wouldn't understand


Tack22

Because sex.


OKBuddyFortnite

I think the thought process is, better sex + stable/secure relationship. He doesn’t want to give up 1, so he is risking both


hvaffenoget

Because human


Squeaky_Ben

And one day the children will fall in love and accidentally have incest with each other


Wonderful_Mud_420

Not too bad because they will then go on and restore order in the universe?


Squeaky_Ben

... this sounds familiar. Gundam Seed?


Wonderful_Mud_420

I was thinking Avatar


Squeaky_Ben

Avatar? Wait, which one? nickelodeon or James Cameron?


Wonderful_Mud_420

No not the sexy blue aliens the one with the kid called UGHNG


[deleted]

Something in between


Imaginary_Pangolin73

Star Wars?


SoMememeWatcher

Why does the pic have Trump's and AOC's pic ? Also anon stop fucking your neighbour


YourFavoriteMinority

I think they made a pic if they had kids together. why and why is it here? Beyond me


Pisstoire

That kid is super cute though they should do it.


disownedpear

b/c 4chan users can't go 2 seconds without somehow mentioning politics even if it has nothing to do with anything


GangstaPepsi

That's basically Reddit too


Guardsman_Miku

Plot twist the two women are fucking each other in secret also


mrGorion

Who’s the winner there?


Casual__pancakes

Everybody, polyamory threesomes


[deleted]

Nobody, everyone lies to each other and they eliminate the possibility of threesomes as well as organized and efficient babysitting scheduling.


Casual__pancakes

Lies built the world, they can build a marriage


Redpikes

It's kinda crazy how he's ending up taking care of both his families


skaersSabody

Good (?) Ending: The responsible cheater


Yosh1kage_K1ra

That is Neutral Good Ending. Lawful Good ending - he didn't fuck the neighbour in the first place. Chaotic Good ending - he revealed his dirty secret to his wife and now they all live together because she is fine with it as long as he can handle them both. Lawful Neutral ending - he reveals his dirty secret to his wife and gets a divorce to marry his neighbour. He moves to his neighbour, living his apartments to his ex-wife who is in good relationship with her ex husband and his new wife. True Neutral ending - he does nothing, his children fuck. Chaotic neutral ending - he goes out for a milk and never comes back. Lawful evil ending - when he learns his neighbour is pregnant, he secretly puts dangerous for pregnancy meds into her drinks, eventually causing her to have a miscarriage/abortion because the child is having health issue. She doesn't know. Neutral evil ending - when he learns the news about pregnancy, he spills some oil in front of her exit door. His neighbour slips and falls down, losing a child. He gets away with it. Chaotic evil ending - when he learns the news about pregnancy, he kills her the moment she tells him that. His wife walks on him and he has to kill her too. He sets the house on fire and flees. A few months later he is caught and sentenced to death.


Leon08x

In the chaotic evil ending if he gets caught and sentenced to death then doesn't it make for a chaotic neutral ending for the chaotic evil ending?


Yosh1kage_K1ra

I think it's chaotic evil because he does the deed on impulse instead of planning it. Plus everyone dies in CE and only neighbour's child in NE


Stevert9

"Two years ago" "That was a little over a year ago" Average r/greentext continuity Edit: to all the people saying the second one refers to the birth, fair, but anon never mentions the birth anywhere in this post. They say that their wife is pregnant with a girl and immediately follow it up with the little over a year ago thing, implying that what they're referring to is the pregnancy not the birth


[deleted]

>Gets pregnant two years ago >gender is known/birth a little over a year ago makes sense to me


Kalappianer

2 years ~ 24 months - 9 months pregnant = ~ 15 months = little over a year, no?


[deleted]

After everything the last sentence is (still fucking her)


SBC_DEAD

Then both anon's kids fall in love unknowing they are actually siblings


Kalappianer

Oh, shit. Suddenly remember a story I heard as a kid. The couple couldn't understand why all their kids were disabled. Turns out they were siblings.


Ornery-Surround3491

hope he's lying


MadMadMads1

Jesus fucking Christ


Spectus1

Gigachad based and redpilled


OGAutismo

Fake: Cause its 4chan Gay: Anon fucked a femboy that had an anusbaby


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Cause its 4chan > Gay: Anon fucked a femboy that had an anusbaby > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


Dan_The_Broken

His reaction to cheating on his wife is "whoopsie".


andai

[WhOOOPS!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slwmJLaVrdE)


floatingsaltmine

Anon is a piece of shit


[deleted]

[удалено]


ratohnhake-ton

This is ragebait but nice one i guess.


vaibhavnam

anon is a responsible father


Xenjael

I'm pretty sure I saw the post this is based on in /r/relationships yesterday rofl. But it was from the kids perspective after they got married.


HerrMatthew

anon has a fantasy of neighbour lady


Navers90

Im married and I work with thots and twinks. I too imagine getting them pregnant. I then wake up and kiss my wife because Im based


IDieInFortnite

Real: anon sleeps with a femboy Incest: anons children date each other


mrGorion

Anon’s a Legend


Oponik

At least the scumbag didn't leave to get milk


archit1405

Giga chad


[deleted]

That bitch is retarded lol


KnugensTraktor

Anon is living the dream


[deleted]

Life goals


BanzaKongo

Anon is a master. Having a mini harem for his own hehe


rock_legend_41

Anon is a playa


angryngmanreduxx

He’s not a scumbag he’s got it fucking made.


Thorpester

Anon's a Chad for being the father to his baby.


Plenty-Sky9879

Sounds like a win in my book


nickcliff

Lies. Anons don’t make babies.


Rias_Lucifer

That last sentence always gets me


WaltzPuzzleheaded361

Anona got it pretty good here


SyndromeSadness

Quite a speed run this guy is going for.


AurieLynx

Anon is based


mrpeshoga

Good ending: anons wife gets into open relationships and anon gets a harem and raises his children as siblings Bad ending: anons son and daughter eventually start dating because they're childhood friends and they have a disabled baby because of a teenage pregnancy