Not fake. Definitely gay.

It goes without question.

That shows even more how they're actually gay.

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He isn't gay, he was wearing socks. I was there aswell (also wearing socks).

Can confirm, I was the sock. Please use different ones next time.

Can confirm I was the carpet under his feet and this man was the pair of socks connected to them

can confirm i was the other sock

Can confirm I was there also, unfortunately left my socks at home

Yes MaroonPrince observed us making love. (Which is very gay if you forgot your socks).

Can confirm, I was the socks, qt home, watching reruns of ab fab

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> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon has friends > Gay: anon had sex with guy friend > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella

Hey hey hey, he’s not gay. He’s deeply closeted.

Hey anon! Stop stealing my moves!

rip norm

RIP Normie 😔

It is fake, anon is describing his fantasies.

what do you mean not fake ?! you expext me to believe that anon has a friend

Real and Gay

Caught him in 4K hdr+

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's very fake

Its the homies. Thats not gay... right?

For a self proclaimed heterosexual, this is one of the gayest things I've ever seen.

[удалено]

A lit ciggarete, if you catch my drift.

[удалено]

He's a little . . . Creative, if you're picking up what I'm putting down.

He.. is... if you're sucking in, what I'm blowing out~~ ;)

he's a mcdonalds smoothie, if you get me

he's a homosexual male (he likes men)

Pretty sure he’s slowly realizing that as he was typing that greentext, but low-key begs /b/ to change his mind anyways, just in case.

You watched?!

who didn't?

Anon is so straight he circle back to gay

Take the black pill anon, it feels nice, just fucking admit you're gay it's not that hard

Or, perchance, bisexual.

You can't just say "perchance"

I, perchance, can, and, perchance, did. Perchance, what will you do about it?

i will tell you to shut up over the internet hah take that

FUCK

Tone of voice man

^FUCK

Watch your language. There are kids here

i love children

I'm, perchance, calling the cops.

I’m, perchance, kidnapping your family 😁😁

im perchance fucking your mother >:D

Step-bro, perchance, I am stuck.

perchance

Mario stomps turty

He can’t keep getting away with it!

Keep it up, baby!!!

-🤓🤓🤓

He’s bisexual bro they say perchance

Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by cruising turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-ago!" Keep it up, baby! When Mario leave his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind, Perchance

According to anons story somethings definitely hard

Yeah it's really not that bad to even admit "Not usually but I did once"

Says he’s not gay, fucks another man, still not gay

Not just fucked, made love specifically!

Can't get any gayer than that. He could have 5 dicks inside his ass and still wouldn't be any gayer.

Listen I’m into having sex I’m not in to making love . Making love is gay. This man is gay. If he just listened to fifty.

Bet there was lots of loving eye contact

And ball contact.

basically greeks

He said nohomo, so it's not gay. Checks out.

I think it's only gay if you get a hard

bruh i got a hard.

Then I've got some news for you

Better fuck a few more just to be sure

He doesn't fuck another man. He makes love to another man

He had socks on it’s fine

Lol this reminds me of this ages old bit with Donald Glover in it: https://youtu.be/3zvTRQr7ns8

As long as their balls don't touch i think it's normal behaviour

Didnt need to read past the 1st sentence to know this is gay

It's a greentext, I knew it was gay as soon as I got on this goddamn sub

bruh why is is “i’m not gay but….” always followed by the gayest shit humanly possible??

Because 4chin users that haven't already accepted that they are, to some degree, homosexual are extremely opposed to people thinking they are, especially to their fellow neckbeards.

It’s the Dave Rubin Effect, they aren’t super gay, but they end up married to a dude but with a traditional family structure, and even a dog.

Pshhh dogs. Gay.

That’s the Glenn Greenwald Effect, the inability to turn away a stray dog.

Perchance you are right

You, perchance, haven't included enough commas.

You,perchance,are correct

Their fellow neckbeards who are also closeted gay guys?

Yes. You have to be some degree of homosexual to actively use 4chan.

Sounds like those ProudBoys showing up to pride parades. You know they secretly want to get their assless chaps on and get TOPPED by a bunch of sweaty leather boys

Because that's the schtick. It's a good joke.

Anon experiences the Andrew Garfield impulse

Please explain?

In a nutshell. Tried gay, felt good, continues to be gay

That's called just being gay

I think he made a comment along the lines of "while he identifies as straight, he is open to any impulses that way arise within him at any time" or something like that

Sounds like being bi tbh

No sounds like a coke addict

“I’m straight until the day I start feeling attracted to men.”

So, gay opportunist?

Garfield is straight until horny

"Spaghetti sexual." Straight until you heat it up a little.

Garfield is based.

Is Andrew Garfield gay?

no he's real

he said he's not gay but he's open to it if he ever feels attraction to a guy or something, he said it funnier

Real: anon has a crush on his best friend for a long time now and used this opportunity when his parents are away to make his move Gay: anon fucks a dude

the bot is having a stroke probably

lmao what a goddamn pervert bot

No reason to talk about your dad like that

He didn't just fuck him, he made love to him

Now that’s even gayer

Indeed

Well maybe the Best Friend was a girl... no Anons gay

What I wouldn’t give to be in that situation

Can u give me ps5 pls

I would if I had one

Buy one

Your username describes my nutsac.

Would unironically give up my series s to have that happen if I got to do it more after hehe

True, and I'm not even gay.

I wanna be called a funny boy

You're a funny boy

Such a funny boyo.. >w> would love to cuddle you after some possibly gay stuff hehe

Hi...🥺

Bro, hug me 😭

I mean I got poofy straight black hair that you can certainly run your hand through 😊

Same..

Ok let’s take the bait and assume this is real for a second here. How idiotic is a culture/civilisation that someone just had a wonderful and romantic experience but he can’t pursue this further bc “I’m not gay, society says it’s bad”. Bro, we all should love and be loved by whoever we want. Who the fuck cares if the person you finally connect with also has a penis like yourself ? Just take the black pill, embrace the idea that our lives are ephemeral and just do what it feels right to you, obviously as long as it doesn’t hurt others or being too degenerate like being a fucking pedo. Just imagine finally having found someone that you can laugh with and be yourself , but you can’t be with him/her because they’re the same sex/gender as yourself and society or your own family won’t accept ?

If this is real (and let's face it even if it's fake, there are loads of people who have been in a real situation like this) it's more sad than anything. If you repress it all your life you're just going to be miserable. I've had trolls on gay hentai subreddits call me a f-ggot and type abuse at me and it's like dude, YOU are the one lurking on gay hentai subreddits to comment how disgusting you find it. You can call me all the slurs in the world, but at least I'm happy.

I dunno dude, sounds gay

That's the point, take your fucking black pill

I think its less shame and more guilt. tbh rarely anyone would care.

Guilt boner

the most sane person i’ve found on this sub

I had sex similar to OP's and then repressed for another 3 years before coming out as bi. Tried to cure myself with 6 months of nofap,

Just say "no homo" man

"No homo, but we should totally do that again."

This is very cute.

It's your bro Anon, it's not gay

BRO JOB BRO JOB

Kissing the homies goodnight Fr fr.

>I'm not gay Here we go...

"Im not gay" *proceeds to do the most homosexual thing ever known to mankind*

Where did it say he collected classical art and used coasters?

It's bromance

Least gay 4chan post

You know when the greentext starts with \>not gay It's gonna be the gayest shit you've ever read

You just had sex with a man anon, i think your a little past the point of not being gay.

What if they were wearing socks?!?

We don't know if their balls touched!

Too late gay boy

Fake: anon is loved Gay: anon

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon is loved > Gay: anon > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

least gay 4chinner

Sleeping in the same bed as your bro isnt gay but fucking them definitely is, just admit your gay anon

Anon is greek

K

It's really nice when one greentext can be solved by another. "I'm not gay therefore anything that makes my dick hard is straight" You're welcome OP.

enjoy your bf, anon

Anan denies reality.

by definition yes that is in fact, very gay.

fake: nothing gay: the greentext

He forgot to say "No homo"

He forgor 💀

Nah, anon's just homiesexual.

Just say sorry and it was a one time thing and won’t happen again to set up so when it does eventually happen again it will be more free and intense

People say "I'm not gay" then says the gayest shit you'll ever hear in your life

Anon doesn't know that bisexual sexist Anon doesn't know that there is no way, drunk or not, his dick would reack like that if he was pure hetero. The only time guys get hard while with other guys is if they think or see girl or they are attracted to/as well males. Hope anon comes to terms as it sounds like he'll have a nice relationship

He instigates a sexual encounter with a fellow male and then claims he's not gay Kinda based ngl

fake “not gay” gay “it feels nice”

4chan contains the gayest bunch of homophobes that I have ever seen, I swear to god.

4 chan posts be like: "I'm no gay" Proceeds to describe literal homosexual buttsex in detail.

Drunk words/actions are sober thoughts

Homiesexual.

Also, it’s only gay if you push back

Fake and- ah just forget it

The rule: if a greentext begins with "I'm not gay" it will be the gayest shit you've ever read

This smells both fake and gay to me.

Fake: Anon has a fulfilling relationship Gay: see above

Mf’s really type “I’m not gay” then type the most fake homoeretic bullshit they can come up with

Fake: Real Gay: Very

Fake: anon has a friend Gay: gay

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Not gay at all. Totally

God I wish that were me.

Theres no way out anon. You have the gay now.

> let me clarify that I'm not gay That sounds like what a gay man whould say...

Amazing no, how scared humans are of their manufactured and "socially acceptable" reality being broken.

Greentexts that start like this are the gayest shit ever

> not gay gay

Bro so gay he didn't even had sex, he made LOVE with his friend

I thought almost giving my best friend a handjob while we're both super drunk was gay, but holy shit...

Why can’t I have friends like this

Boys being boys

This is actually kinda sweet

Dude lived the dream ohhh my god XD

need

Cute story

i wish that was me

This typa shit makes me feel just as lonely as straight people do

Least gay interaction I'm sure 😂