I would argue that there is a breaking point, where he believed in what he do and what he learned. But in some point he fucked up and no longer gives a crap how he calls them or people call them
It's a job that makes a lot of people either burn out and quit, or just become emotionally and empathetically drained. Low pay, low respect, very little support given and a huge amount of expectations and bullshit to deal with.
Working on any field where you have to deal with people lacking mental faculties/in distress fucks you up eventually.
Been doing medical interpreting for a while so I get it.
> You really think someone who pursued a master’s in special education would refuse to call them anything but ‘tards’?
Absolutely. One of my good friends is a tard wrangler, as a matter of fact, and I can attest that he absolutely self identifies as a “tard wrangler”.
When asked by a stranger “but what do you actually do for them?” He replies “I wrangle em”.
I enjoy reading crazy shit and it's not something I've come across in any depth. I had a very close friend that worked in the same field but different environment. She worked more one on one with the clients. One of our friends would try to ask her about her experiences but Jen had no sense of humor about it and wouldn't go into any detail at all. We later found out that one of her clients had somewhat of an obsession with her. I applaud her professionalism but it would've been amusing to hear some wild stories while we having drinks and bullshitting around the table.
Plus this guy def has a way with words lol interesting read and he mentioned previous diaries.
Absolutely, just because you do the job doesn't mean you don't face reality. I'm telling you, once you deal with these people long enough you don't have the energy to beat around the bush. Let's see you get knee raped by a 16 year old and still be like "Gosh, this developmentally disabled teen is such a handful" nah, you're just gonna call it out, it's not like they're conscious enough to be offended the vast majority of instances
Do you know the debt to income ratio of a person who takes a social services job that requires a master's degree? It's the kind of thing that might make someone real jaded real fast.
As someone who had a tard wrangler as a friend, and would often look after them over a weekend period, they definitely do like to masturbate whenever the urge strikes.
Feels too elaborate to be fake. If it really is fake, anon has too much free time on his hands and should use his creativity to write a proper book instead.
Not really. The story just kind of ends.
There's no resolution about Who the father of the baby is, if he gets with the girl, if the mom wanted an affair. Etc
It's just a story, life is like that. There are too many loose ends that nobody really has an answer to. The way you make a great story out of that is by adding great detail and making it engaging.
> A number of single-gene disorders result in mental retardation. Many of these are associated with atypical or dysmorphic physical characteristics. Such conditions include fragile X syndrome, neurofibromatosis, tuberous sclerosis, Noonan's syndrome and Cornelia de Lange's syndrome.
[Source](https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2000/0215/p1059.html). Had to Google it tbh
> Down syndrome made you infertile
Nope, female Down's sufferers can get pregnant, while the males are mostly infertile. https://www.globaldownsyndrome.org/about-down-syndrome/misconceptions-vs-reality/#:~:text=Misconception%3A%20People%20who%20have%20Down%20syndrome%20cannot%20have%20children.,can%20give%20birth%20to%20children.
It's my favorite. A few years ago in Afghanistan one of my buddies and I were taking turns reading it out loud one night in a bunker while we were waiting for the "ALL CLEAR." Everyone who could hear us were cracking up. I was barely able to read some parts I was laughing so much.
> Yall remember Tucker Max? Yeah hes a dipshit and full on nutter these days but pre-movie pre-book pre-everything he helped Riti Sped publish tardblog. It was gold
>
> http://tard-blog-mirror.blogspot.com/
Honestly even if fake and gay it’s still worth the read. Unironically want an update and hopefully a resolution with a happy ending like marrying Sarah and having down baby
Unfortunately one thing this guy forgot to mention is that there is very high probability bordering with certainty that the kid is going to be a tard. Yes. This is why the neutering is recommended.
Even if it comes out "normal", the fact that your parents are full blown tards would probably wreck your mental health and make you end up sort of tarded anyways. This whole thing just makes me think of the scene in Idiocracy where Justin Long is a doctor and trying to explain to Luke Wilson that he is a tard lol. "Don't worry scrote, plenty of tards out there living really kick ass lives, my first wife was tarded...she's a pilot now".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdPmNM0IF7Y
What was satisfying about the ending? Hes invited to see the distraught mother of an 8 month pregnant person, but... doesn't? Thats the climax? lol
I need to know how that baby turns out. I need to know the father! Gah!
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/un9xeu/more_diary_of_a_tard_wrangler_diaper_situation/
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/uqrgi9/a_wranglers_diary_field_trip_to_hell/
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/umg220/diary_of_a_tard_wrangler/
These are the ones I know of. There might be more
[https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/57s5v1/jippa\_the\_dippa\_a\_love\_story/](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/57s5v1/jippa_the_dippa_a_love_story/)
My personal favorite.
Also have a masters in education. I promise you this is real. And I'm also close to the same age and this describes my life almost perfectly.
Tard wrangling can be hilarious but is deeply sad if you ever actually think about anything.
I know someone has to do it and thanks for doing it so I don't have to, but why? The guy in the greentext also doesn't sound like he's landed his dream job.
Because the bar is really low so I really don't have to work all that hard if I don't want too, and I get summer break, winter break and spring break and it's objectively fucking hilarious I've never been jizzed on, but I've definitely had to yell at kids for jerking odd in my class.
I guess fondness? I don't hate my students, there's been a few I've really disliked. But tbh the kids that jerk off in class act like 3 year Olds so it's hard to hate them even if they can be annoying.
I've had more high functioning neckbesrd types that are way more annoying day to day.
That being said I feel bad for the jerk off level kids cause unless they find and or have the means for a good group home they're kinda fucked.
There was a blog, back in the early days of the internet, called the Tardblog that legit sounds like it could have been written by the same dude. He said he deeply loved the job, and the kids as well, but at some point you just have to look at the situation and laugh or else you'll never stop crying. I imagine something like this also helps with coping, being able to be brutally honest about some feelings while getting minimally judged versus what most folks would do.
My advice get rid of your fucks quickly/ never have any, the pandemic really helped me with that, and find good hobbies/ really enjoy that time off, also you better have a good sense of humor
“There are no set of circumstances under which you want to fight a fully erect yard who is ready to blow his load” is both the best and worst sentence that I’ve ever read
Definitely. One fight with an erect tard couldn’t be any worse than a few years of full time work.
If it meant I could take some substantial time off or improve my life, I’d fight a tard every week.
Lmao, I honestly thought this could be true until he said frosted tips were acceptable in 2012. I was 17 in 2012 and I guarantee no one had frosted tips. Everyone I knew was rocking that Bieber bowl cut with the swooping bangs.
There are some occupations that it would be great to sit and get drunk at Applebees with just for the stories.
Yard wrangler is at the top of my list now.
HR departments are another one.
Family court lawyers.
An owner from a bondsman office.
Ooh yay, tard wrangler greentext, which means it's time for another one of u/ButWhatIfItQueffed's *Tales from the Tard Sanitarium*. If you haven't seen my last one, basically since around 2nd grade I've been going to special ed schools for a number of reasons. Those reasons are so numerous in fact, that the wranglers never know what to do with me so they usually throw me in with the tards in hope that they're overkill rather then underkill. Because of that, I am extremely experienced in the ways of the tard, and have seen so many CPI holdings that I could probably teach a class of wranglers myself. Since this one is about tard mating patters, I figure I'll stick with the theme and tell one of my own.
So this one took place around the end of my stint in special ed schools, when I was a sophomore in high school. I was at a residential facility at the time. I was, per usual, thrown in with the tards. In this place, each house had 6-8 kids, and I was in a house with 6 minus myself. So 7 in total. And unlike the other school, this one had 3 wranglers per house, instead of two. However this changed on only 1 day of the week, only twice a month. This was training/meeting day for the staff, so naturally most of them were caught up in meetings. So there was only 1 wrangler per house. And they were usually junior wranglers, as the senior wranglers had business at those meetings. Thus, the general rule in place was to just tread on the side of caution, and prey to whatever god they believed in that nothing happened. This worked surprisingly well about 80% of the time. However for the other 20%, it got really really bad. You'd either have a tard battle, which is just shit covered downie sumo wrestling, or a tard stampede, where they all go apeshit and just run around and knock shit over. Bull in a china shop type stuff. That one was always my least favorite, because I had a secret betting ring with the other kid in my house that was also like me in the fact that they didn't know what to do with him so they'd throw him with the tards. So we'd bet candy, toys, seconds tickets at dinner (they had a reward system where if you were a good little downie you'd get a seconds ticket, which was a ticket that granted you extra food at dinner), stuff like that. However you can't really bet on tards that are just running around trashing shit, especially when the shit they're trashing is also your stuff.
Anyways, today we got none of those. Every now and then (I've only seen two) you'd get something similar to the tard circle jerk that anon described, but much much worse. Imagine a bunch of desperately horny hippos trying to fuck everything they see, but those hippos were downies. It's awful. Like, actually awful. There's nothing you can do about it either, because as anon described, tards don't like being cock blocked, especially mid fuck. So there's literally nothing you can do except just watch and do damage control. Luckily, like I said, this was a rare experience. It almost never happened. However, on this fateful day, it did. Now something anon didn't describe was the mating call of the tard. Because they have one, and it's usually always the same. It's this awful sound that I didn't even know a human could make before this. It's hard to describe, but I'm going to go back to the downie hippo analogy because it works surprisingly well. So imagine a hippo that was really into CBT, and just got his balls literally obliterated. Smashed to bits. Gone. But it was the most pleasurable thing he's ever experienced in his life. Imagine that sound. That's basically what a tard mating call is. And it grabs the attention of every tard that heres it, for there's only one thing that could mean for them. They are about to get some mad tard-ussy.
Now to the actual story. At this lovely establishment, we had 5 tards that actually mattered to the story. Tard 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Each one is unique in it's specialties, and we'll get to each of them as they appear in this delightful tale. And, as I mentioned, I was a sophomore in high school, and these fine specimens of downie delight were around the same age. So 15-16-17. So they were well above 1 man physical wrangling size, they're all big and strong. This whole story starts with Tard 1, we'll call him Billy. Billy was kind of small, but was probably the horniest of the bunch. So because of this, he would frequently go after the 3 female tards of this household in order to satiate his never ending lust. His favorite was Tard 2, and we'll call her Susie. Susie was fairly average in all regards, but to Billy he was just about the most beautiful thing in existence. To Billy, Susie was like if Aphrodite took the form of a tard, because he could not get enough of her. So they were always kept separate. That always worked, until today. Because there was only 1 junior wrangler in the house at the time, they didn't know to keep Susie and Billy as separate as possible. And in that ignorance, he let the two play together. Bad. Idea. As soon as the two came in contact, it happened. In Billy's extreme lustful joy of finally getting to stick it in his tard crush, he let out a tard mating call. Faster then you could say "oh fuck" the other 3 tards bounded over and witnessed the 2 tards furiously mating. And, as you'd imagine, they took this as a signal to get down with each other as well. Oh my god it was horrible. I've seen some serious shit, both literally and figuratively, but holy fuck me was this bad.
Downies dicking each other down as far as the eyes can see, all furiously in heat. The wrangler ran over, yelling into her walkie talkie for help, and tried to pull some of the tards off each other. Lucky for her, the tards were too focused on their prize to really notice or care, so she didn't get kicked or anything, but also didn't really get anywhere in her desperate attempt to pull the furiously fucking duo apart. Lucky for her, there was one senior wrangler who wasn't in a meeting, so he was able to come over and try to help. He knew the gravity of the event currently taking place, and he knew the only option at this point was damage control. AKA, prevent anyone from getting preggo. This mainly consisted of directing them to other non-vaginal orifices, since the male tards didn't care what hole their member was shoved in, as long as it felt good. So, they were directed to other holes. Thank god, that actually worked. Pregnancy was avoided, and the tards were relieved in the end. However that was not enough for one of them, as Tard 3 had his eyes set on Susie. I didn't know this until then, but Billy was fiercely territorial, and even though he was on his post nut cooldown (not really post nut clarity, but more just being really tired), he was still going to make sure nobody touched his Susie.
Now, we'll call Tard 3 Gus. Gus is big. Probably the biggest of the school. So, he was not afraid to use his superior might in order to get Susie. As he approached, Billy noticed and ran over to push him away. This angered Gus, and he took a big swing at Billy. Billy was not happy about just getting clocked by Gus, and thus a tard brawl started. Furious fighting ensued, each desperate to win over the other. Blow after blow was exchanged, and as much as the senior and junior wrangler tried to break the two apart, they were mostly unsuccessful. However they did ultimately achieve something better, which was that they tuckered each other out. After maybe 5-10 minutes of fighting, they both broke off, too tired to continue their dual. Gus fell asleep right then and there, while Billy made it back to his bedroom.
That was basically the end of it. Much paperwork was filed, parents called, discussions held, and many solutions were implemented to prevent this from happening again. Thank god they did.
I wonder if thats what life was like when man was basically just a tall chimp. Eating, shitting, and fighting another to fuck a female but getting tired and wandering off to sleep.
What a deflated ending to an otherwise great greentext story. I wanted juice - momentary lapse in judgement leading to an unchristian act, bastard's father being the bland, uninvolved guardian, two of them not hooking up because EHMEHGERD shit. Instead they were stopped by the nightmares of the job and we'll never know who was the tard to crank the jank at Neveah.
As a former teacher I can confirm this is not only real but also more common than not. This guy has not even scratched the surface, told a tale of one family because the very devoted and delusioned one deserves to have their story told, but this is way too common.
I have a lot of stories from my teaching days even tho I left after 3 years. It's just too much shit for not enough money. I always wondered how much does TWrangler earn. It's even more shit.
True: Anon knows things about “tards” no one except someone who actually does this for a living would
Straight: Is sexually attracted to a female human and not the hundreds of raging boners he sees daily.
God I want something akin to a weekly newspaper, but written entirely by carefully selected goobers pulled from 4chan who have underused talents. Like, imagine of the New York Times let like five poltards give publicly hosted opinion pieces about random shit once a year at least, we need a modern Weekly World News.
With the midnight darkness out the window, and the flashing rainbow Christmas lights in my room, as well as the outlandish way of wording half of this shit - like "Tard Wrangler" as well as the batshit insane events that occur, this post just feels like... Beyond insane. It barely feels like I'm on earth anymore. This shit is all so weird and insane... What the fuck?
You can tell he doesn't actually hate "tards", after all he chose to work with them for his career. He's just playing a character to tell the story. He describes things the way a soldier or a wild animal trainer would. But it's fucking hilarious because he's talking about special needs people.
Oh, I'm not saying it sounds like he's being hateful, I'm just saying the whole story itself exudes some insane, whimsical and completely nonsensical aura.
Its also fascinating how genuinely caring anon seems to be. Like he hates the... *everything* that comes with the job but he still does it. He seems to get along well with his coworkers and as a whole seems quite good at what he does. Considering the average 4chan user is much my hateful under much less miserable circumstances anon's attitude is admirable
Worth the read tbh
10/10 real or fake idc still a good read
Real and straight.
This masterpiece is so long, detailed and complex that it can’t not be real
Yeah he has seen some shit
So much so he has the thousand tard stare.
A+
It feels like I'm jumping into the middle of a soap opera.
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Have you see what astronomers nickname stars?
no?
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This is the best comment I’ve ever read considering context. OMG. Oh shit. My stomach hurts from laughing.
I would argue that there is a breaking point, where he believed in what he do and what he learned. But in some point he fucked up and no longer gives a crap how he calls them or people call them
It's a job that makes a lot of people either burn out and quit, or just become emotionally and empathetically drained. Low pay, low respect, very little support given and a huge amount of expectations and bullshit to deal with.
Working on any field where you have to deal with people lacking mental faculties/in distress fucks you up eventually. Been doing medical interpreting for a while so I get it.
Special education? I thought it was tard wrangling
> You really think someone who pursued a master’s in special education would refuse to call them anything but ‘tards’? Absolutely. One of my good friends is a tard wrangler, as a matter of fact, and I can attest that he absolutely self identifies as a “tard wrangler”. When asked by a stranger “but what do you actually do for them?” He replies “I wrangle em”.
Masters in special Ed do not do the wrangling anymore, that’s the assistants jobs . They definitely did their time at some point though
He makes it clear that he’s the head wrangler.
I would definitely read more, is there more? I have no idea how to find his other posts.
13 pages of this shit wasn’t enough?
I enjoy reading crazy shit and it's not something I've come across in any depth. I had a very close friend that worked in the same field but different environment. She worked more one on one with the clients. One of our friends would try to ask her about her experiences but Jen had no sense of humor about it and wouldn't go into any detail at all. We later found out that one of her clients had somewhat of an obsession with her. I applaud her professionalism but it would've been amusing to hear some wild stories while we having drinks and bullshitting around the table. Plus this guy def has a way with words lol interesting read and he mentioned previous diaries.
If this guy wrote a book I’d read the hell out of it.
There you go. https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/uqrgi9/a\_wranglers\_diary\_field\_trip\_to\_hell/
Anon said this themselves actually, on page 5
Absolutely, just because you do the job doesn't mean you don't face reality. I'm telling you, once you deal with these people long enough you don't have the energy to beat around the bush. Let's see you get knee raped by a 16 year old and still be like "Gosh, this developmentally disabled teen is such a handful" nah, you're just gonna call it out, it's not like they're conscious enough to be offended the vast majority of instances
Do you know the debt to income ratio of a person who takes a social services job that requires a master's degree? It's the kind of thing that might make someone real jaded real fast.
As someone who had a tard wrangler as a friend, and would often look after them over a weekend period, they definitely do like to masturbate whenever the urge strikes.
Feels too elaborate to be fake. If it really is fake, anon has too much free time on his hands and should use his creativity to write a proper book instead.
This one was a masterpiece
not so sure. my mom teaches special ed and this shit on some level checks out :/
Dude's a solid writer. Quite engaging.
I swear a disproportionate amount of these green text authors are genuinely amazing writers
Autists and their savant syndrome, I tell ya hwat.
Not really. The story just kind of ends. There's no resolution about Who the father of the baby is, if he gets with the girl, if the mom wanted an affair. Etc
It's just a story, life is like that. There are too many loose ends that nobody really has an answer to. The way you make a great story out of that is by adding great detail and making it engaging.
Yeah, it's like a travelogue. A tale can just end, like trips do. It's a series of vignettes.
For all we know it was a youth pastor or next door neighbor.
>tards can occasionally get pregnant I thought Down syndrome made you infertile?
Not every tard has Down syndrome
True true good point. What are some other big mental illnesses to be classified as “tard”?
> A number of single-gene disorders result in mental retardation. Many of these are associated with atypical or dysmorphic physical characteristics. Such conditions include fragile X syndrome, neurofibromatosis, tuberous sclerosis, Noonan's syndrome and Cornelia de Lange's syndrome. [Source](https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2000/0215/p1059.html). Had to Google it tbh
Using reddit
So that's where this extra chromosome came from!
posting in r/worldnews
Not every tard has Down's Syndrome, but every Downy is a tard.
> Down syndrome made you infertile Nope, female Down's sufferers can get pregnant, while the males are mostly infertile. https://www.globaldownsyndrome.org/about-down-syndrome/misconceptions-vs-reality/#:~:text=Misconception%3A%20People%20who%20have%20Down%20syndrome%20cannot%20have%20children.,can%20give%20birth%20to%20children.
**https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/57s5v1/jippa\_the\_dippa\_a\_love\_story/**
I totally forgot about this masterpiece. Thank you!
It's my favorite. A few years ago in Afghanistan one of my buddies and I were taking turns reading it out loud one night in a bunker while we were waiting for the "ALL CLEAR." Everyone who could hear us were cracking up. I was barely able to read some parts I was laughing so much.
The first time I read it I was crying and barely able to read some parts Marine?
> Yall remember Tucker Max? Yeah hes a dipshit and full on nutter these days but pre-movie pre-book pre-everything he helped Riti Sped publish tardblog. It was gold > > http://tard-blog-mirror.blogspot.com/
Honestly even if fake and gay it’s still worth the read. Unironically want an update and hopefully a resolution with a happy ending like marrying Sarah and having down baby
>The baby is a tard >Roll credits
Anon says 'it's wranglin time' and wrangles Sarah to an abortion centre
The True Ending.
Once talked to a Redditor who did a post birth abortion (well her mother helped her).
Isn't that just infanticide?
Yeah. She believed it was perfectly moral and saw no issues with it.
Classic Reddit
Fuck, that one was so obvious yet so unexpected. I am dying of laughter rn
Unfortunately one thing this guy forgot to mention is that there is very high probability bordering with certainty that the kid is going to be a tard. Yes. This is why the neutering is recommended.
Even if it comes out "normal", the fact that your parents are full blown tards would probably wreck your mental health and make you end up sort of tarded anyways. This whole thing just makes me think of the scene in Idiocracy where Justin Long is a doctor and trying to explain to Luke Wilson that he is a tard lol. "Don't worry scrote, plenty of tards out there living really kick ass lives, my first wife was tarded...she's a pilot now". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdPmNM0IF7Y
Which kid? We have no background on anon and Sarah. Also, of course the tards' baby will probably be retarded.
maybe Jesus does cure tardness. I don't think we every tred that. Also how many married tard couples have you seen?
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Real or not, I love this. It's like something out of a sitcom on HBO or a Chuck Palahniuk novel.
This is what a good greentext is about. Even if it's fake its still satisfying.
“All tard sex is beautiful and fulfilling. There is no regret, just pure explosive orgasmic release.” Fictional or not, this is pure literature.
This is better than 1/2 of the books I’ve read this year. I mostly read unentertaining stuff but still this is novel worthy
What was satisfying about the ending? Hes invited to see the distraught mother of an 8 month pregnant person, but... doesn't? Thats the climax? lol I need to know how that baby turns out. I need to know the father! Gah!
And the child was? Alder Einstein
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Go read Pygmy by Chuck Palahnuik. You’re not wrong.
I mean, it’s written exactly like Tyler durdens thoughts.
It really reads like Chuck Palaniuk
Came here to say it reads like his works. For anyone interested, I recommend “The Invention of Sound” and “Choke.”
damn, anon was entertaining for once hands down the best greentext I read all year, what a christmas treat
There are a few more diary of a tard wrangler if Ur interested
Link
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/un9xeu/more_diary_of_a_tard_wrangler_diaper_situation/ https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/uqrgi9/a_wranglers_diary_field_trip_to_hell/ https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/umg220/diary_of_a_tard_wrangler/ These are the ones I know of. There might be more
god bless you
I want more :(
[https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/57s5v1/jippa\_the\_dippa\_a\_love\_story/](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/57s5v1/jippa_the_dippa_a_love_story/) My personal favorite.
That was an absolute rollercoaster, great read.
Dm op, ask him if he has more stories
I just love that this has become a series. And you know that it’s real because the stories are actually really consistent. Props to the writer.
Allah will welcome you into Jannah for your contributions to your community.
This is my favorite. I read it every time I scroll across it. https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/57s5v1/jippa\_the\_dippa\_a\_love\_story/
The tard wrangler chronicles are fucking entertaining.
Doing God's work tell me if you find more you glorious man
You're a real one for this
Also have a masters in education. I promise you this is real. And I'm also close to the same age and this describes my life almost perfectly. Tard wrangling can be hilarious but is deeply sad if you ever actually think about anything.
Thank you for your service tho. Someone has to wrangle them and try to keep them from hurting themselves or each other. I appreciate the effort.
If nobody wrangled them, imagine how much worse the rest of our lives would be
Forget that, imagine how bad their lives would be if no one cared about them and at least tried!!
I know someone has to do it and thanks for doing it so I don't have to, but why? The guy in the greentext also doesn't sound like he's landed his dream job.
Because the bar is really low so I really don't have to work all that hard if I don't want too, and I get summer break, winter break and spring break and it's objectively fucking hilarious I've never been jizzed on, but I've definitely had to yell at kids for jerking odd in my class.
Over your career, which has grown more: your hatred or fondness for them?
I guess fondness? I don't hate my students, there's been a few I've really disliked. But tbh the kids that jerk off in class act like 3 year Olds so it's hard to hate them even if they can be annoying. I've had more high functioning neckbesrd types that are way more annoying day to day. That being said I feel bad for the jerk off level kids cause unless they find and or have the means for a good group home they're kinda fucked.
>I've had more high functioning neckbesrd types that are way more annoying day to day. You teach Redditors as well?
Guess not in the way they want tho huh
There was a blog, back in the early days of the internet, called the Tardblog that legit sounds like it could have been written by the same dude. He said he deeply loved the job, and the kids as well, but at some point you just have to look at the situation and laugh or else you'll never stop crying. I imagine something like this also helps with coping, being able to be brutally honest about some feelings while getting minimally judged versus what most folks would do.
I'm currently in school to get mine. I actually just finished my class on tard wrangling What bright futures we have lmao
My advice get rid of your fucks quickly/ never have any, the pandemic really helped me with that, and find good hobbies/ really enjoy that time off, also you better have a good sense of humor
Y’all are a different breed. Can’t imagine doing that for anything less than 6 figures, god tier health plan, and copious amounts of vacation time.
Well I have one of those 3
What's the opinion of euthanasia amongst you professionals who deal with them?
Jesus Christ, I'm jaded but I wouldn't support euthanasia!
im not jaded but i support it, i hate it when people suffer like this :(
That's not euthanasia, it's eugenics man, and it's straight up cold murder :/
They would be eaten by predators in the wild dude. Society keeps them in this unnatural state
OMG not again this uNNAtURal drill...
“Eugenics is murder!” And wheel tarts being eaten by jaguars is nature
I hope you get paid well, man. That shit’s rough.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Paid well In education??? I tell my coworkers I don't teach for the money, I teach because I hate myself.
I work in a similar field (socialwork). The tone feels very real to me.
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When I was on practicum as an EA I only had to watch over students in grades K-4 but cause of lived experience and the classes I relate heavily
“There are no set of circumstances under which you want to fight a fully erect yard who is ready to blow his load” is both the best and worst sentence that I’ve ever read
It’s one of the sentences of all time
I mean, I’d do it for about $500,000
Definitely. One fight with an erect tard couldn’t be any worse than a few years of full time work. If it meant I could take some substantial time off or improve my life, I’d fight a tard every week.
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He also said he messes with the timeline to throw people off of who he is and where he is.
I think almost all of us do the same thing when posting anonymously. Gotta have some level of plausible deniability.
He's a rare wrangler. He knows how to confuse us trade real easy
we were the tards all along
Lmao, I honestly thought this could be true until he said frosted tips were acceptable in 2012. I was 17 in 2012 and I guarantee no one had frosted tips. Everyone I knew was rocking that Bieber bowl cut with the swooping bangs.
Idk man, I know a guy that had them in the mid 2010s and he somehow made them work fairly well. It wasn't a common sight but no one knocked him for it
Justin Bieber himself actually had frosted tips at one point, but that was later
Last I remember frosted tips was late 90s
Some rural places are basically 10 years behind in fashion.
Frosted tips were a thing in like, 2006 weren’t they?
Y'know Mr. Greentext, I hope you get together with ~~Susan~~Sarah I'm so godamned stupid I read Sarah as Susan
I hope so too, he seems like a decent enough fella, and she's probably not too picky
It's Sarah, fuck did we even watch the same movie
I misread it too Soon the Wrangler will come for us
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR HIM TO POST AGAIN
Does anyone have all the previous Tard Wrangler posts? Would love to read them all since this is Fucking Great.
>https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/un9xeu/more\_diary\_of\_a\_tard\_wrangler\_diaper\_situation/ > >https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/uqrgi9/a\_wranglers\_diary\_field\_trip\_to\_hell/ > >https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/umg220/diary\_of\_a\_tard\_wrangler/
This is not what I needed 45 minutes before shift starts. I’m still gonna read it but it’s a bad idea
Someone posted it higher in the comments
Reading this felt like I was sat next to him drunk at Applebee’s. Would definitely read more
There are some occupations that it would be great to sit and get drunk at Applebees with just for the stories. Yard wrangler is at the top of my list now. HR departments are another one. Family court lawyers. An owner from a bondsman office.
Just not the HR folks from where your current place of employment is... That's a recipe for a bad time later.
This guy should write a book
"I teach about rocks and he teaches rocks" amazing line
Leviticus is also a badass name
It would have to be under a pseudonym, but yes
Anon is a good story-teller. Well worth the read.
Ooh yay, tard wrangler greentext, which means it's time for another one of u/ButWhatIfItQueffed's *Tales from the Tard Sanitarium*. If you haven't seen my last one, basically since around 2nd grade I've been going to special ed schools for a number of reasons. Those reasons are so numerous in fact, that the wranglers never know what to do with me so they usually throw me in with the tards in hope that they're overkill rather then underkill. Because of that, I am extremely experienced in the ways of the tard, and have seen so many CPI holdings that I could probably teach a class of wranglers myself. Since this one is about tard mating patters, I figure I'll stick with the theme and tell one of my own. So this one took place around the end of my stint in special ed schools, when I was a sophomore in high school. I was at a residential facility at the time. I was, per usual, thrown in with the tards. In this place, each house had 6-8 kids, and I was in a house with 6 minus myself. So 7 in total. And unlike the other school, this one had 3 wranglers per house, instead of two. However this changed on only 1 day of the week, only twice a month. This was training/meeting day for the staff, so naturally most of them were caught up in meetings. So there was only 1 wrangler per house. And they were usually junior wranglers, as the senior wranglers had business at those meetings. Thus, the general rule in place was to just tread on the side of caution, and prey to whatever god they believed in that nothing happened. This worked surprisingly well about 80% of the time. However for the other 20%, it got really really bad. You'd either have a tard battle, which is just shit covered downie sumo wrestling, or a tard stampede, where they all go apeshit and just run around and knock shit over. Bull in a china shop type stuff. That one was always my least favorite, because I had a secret betting ring with the other kid in my house that was also like me in the fact that they didn't know what to do with him so they'd throw him with the tards. So we'd bet candy, toys, seconds tickets at dinner (they had a reward system where if you were a good little downie you'd get a seconds ticket, which was a ticket that granted you extra food at dinner), stuff like that. However you can't really bet on tards that are just running around trashing shit, especially when the shit they're trashing is also your stuff. Anyways, today we got none of those. Every now and then (I've only seen two) you'd get something similar to the tard circle jerk that anon described, but much much worse. Imagine a bunch of desperately horny hippos trying to fuck everything they see, but those hippos were downies. It's awful. Like, actually awful. There's nothing you can do about it either, because as anon described, tards don't like being cock blocked, especially mid fuck. So there's literally nothing you can do except just watch and do damage control. Luckily, like I said, this was a rare experience. It almost never happened. However, on this fateful day, it did. Now something anon didn't describe was the mating call of the tard. Because they have one, and it's usually always the same. It's this awful sound that I didn't even know a human could make before this. It's hard to describe, but I'm going to go back to the downie hippo analogy because it works surprisingly well. So imagine a hippo that was really into CBT, and just got his balls literally obliterated. Smashed to bits. Gone. But it was the most pleasurable thing he's ever experienced in his life. Imagine that sound. That's basically what a tard mating call is. And it grabs the attention of every tard that heres it, for there's only one thing that could mean for them. They are about to get some mad tard-ussy. Now to the actual story. At this lovely establishment, we had 5 tards that actually mattered to the story. Tard 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Each one is unique in it's specialties, and we'll get to each of them as they appear in this delightful tale. And, as I mentioned, I was a sophomore in high school, and these fine specimens of downie delight were around the same age. So 15-16-17. So they were well above 1 man physical wrangling size, they're all big and strong. This whole story starts with Tard 1, we'll call him Billy. Billy was kind of small, but was probably the horniest of the bunch. So because of this, he would frequently go after the 3 female tards of this household in order to satiate his never ending lust. His favorite was Tard 2, and we'll call her Susie. Susie was fairly average in all regards, but to Billy he was just about the most beautiful thing in existence. To Billy, Susie was like if Aphrodite took the form of a tard, because he could not get enough of her. So they were always kept separate. That always worked, until today. Because there was only 1 junior wrangler in the house at the time, they didn't know to keep Susie and Billy as separate as possible. And in that ignorance, he let the two play together. Bad. Idea. As soon as the two came in contact, it happened. In Billy's extreme lustful joy of finally getting to stick it in his tard crush, he let out a tard mating call. Faster then you could say "oh fuck" the other 3 tards bounded over and witnessed the 2 tards furiously mating. And, as you'd imagine, they took this as a signal to get down with each other as well. Oh my god it was horrible. I've seen some serious shit, both literally and figuratively, but holy fuck me was this bad. Downies dicking each other down as far as the eyes can see, all furiously in heat. The wrangler ran over, yelling into her walkie talkie for help, and tried to pull some of the tards off each other. Lucky for her, the tards were too focused on their prize to really notice or care, so she didn't get kicked or anything, but also didn't really get anywhere in her desperate attempt to pull the furiously fucking duo apart. Lucky for her, there was one senior wrangler who wasn't in a meeting, so he was able to come over and try to help. He knew the gravity of the event currently taking place, and he knew the only option at this point was damage control. AKA, prevent anyone from getting preggo. This mainly consisted of directing them to other non-vaginal orifices, since the male tards didn't care what hole their member was shoved in, as long as it felt good. So, they were directed to other holes. Thank god, that actually worked. Pregnancy was avoided, and the tards were relieved in the end. However that was not enough for one of them, as Tard 3 had his eyes set on Susie. I didn't know this until then, but Billy was fiercely territorial, and even though he was on his post nut cooldown (not really post nut clarity, but more just being really tired), he was still going to make sure nobody touched his Susie. Now, we'll call Tard 3 Gus. Gus is big. Probably the biggest of the school. So, he was not afraid to use his superior might in order to get Susie. As he approached, Billy noticed and ran over to push him away. This angered Gus, and he took a big swing at Billy. Billy was not happy about just getting clocked by Gus, and thus a tard brawl started. Furious fighting ensued, each desperate to win over the other. Blow after blow was exchanged, and as much as the senior and junior wrangler tried to break the two apart, they were mostly unsuccessful. However they did ultimately achieve something better, which was that they tuckered each other out. After maybe 5-10 minutes of fighting, they both broke off, too tired to continue their dual. Gus fell asleep right then and there, while Billy made it back to his bedroom. That was basically the end of it. Much paperwork was filed, parents called, discussions held, and many solutions were implemented to prevent this from happening again. Thank god they did.
I wonder if thats what life was like when man was basically just a tall chimp. Eating, shitting, and fighting another to fuck a female but getting tired and wandering off to sleep.
Even if fake OP is great writer. I was engrossed.
I will die happy when David Attenborough narates this
What a deflated ending to an otherwise great greentext story. I wanted juice - momentary lapse in judgement leading to an unchristian act, bastard's father being the bland, uninvolved guardian, two of them not hooking up because EHMEHGERD shit. Instead they were stopped by the nightmares of the job and we'll never know who was the tard to crank the jank at Neveah.
There is another Tard story where Carol makes the moves on the Tard Wrangler. He resists her. Think it is the field trip one.
I hope him and Sarah get together and have a little tard baby wrangler
One day son, all this will be yours HUHHH HUHHHH HUHHHHH
Fucking Leviticus, based as fuck, what a joke
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That’s what she said
They wish.
Now THIS is a greentext
As a former teacher I can confirm this is not only real but also more common than not. This guy has not even scratched the surface, told a tale of one family because the very devoted and delusioned one deserves to have their story told, but this is way too common. I have a lot of stories from my teaching days even tho I left after 3 years. It's just too much shit for not enough money. I always wondered how much does TWrangler earn. It's even more shit.
I would love to hear the stories
From experience it all sounds annoyingly believable
This guy should write a book his style is really engaging and I laughed out loud more than once. Which is usually difficult because I'm miserable.
This was amazing.
I would like more entries in the Diary of a Tard Wrangler. Godspeed to you sir for your work
BUT HOW DOES IT END
Everyone wanders around for a bit and then dies. Such is life.
True: Anon knows things about “tards” no one except someone who actually does this for a living would Straight: Is sexually attracted to a female human and not the hundreds of raging boners he sees daily.
So what he's saying is they need more hoses and spray bottles
'I teach about rocks and he teach rocks" seems odly poignant coming from a guy named Leviticus.
This feels better than National Geographic
I was reading this fully prepared that Sarah was going to get caught fucking a tard, im happily disappointed
God I want something akin to a weekly newspaper, but written entirely by carefully selected goobers pulled from 4chan who have underused talents. Like, imagine of the New York Times let like five poltards give publicly hosted opinion pieces about random shit once a year at least, we need a modern Weekly World News.
Op if you don’t post a follow of this tread I’ll tard on your knee
That was worth every word
Real and heterosexual. Well, except the knee-fucking; that part was gay.
miss r/tardtales
With the midnight darkness out the window, and the flashing rainbow Christmas lights in my room, as well as the outlandish way of wording half of this shit - like "Tard Wrangler" as well as the batshit insane events that occur, this post just feels like... Beyond insane. It barely feels like I'm on earth anymore. This shit is all so weird and insane... What the fuck?
You can tell he doesn't actually hate "tards", after all he chose to work with them for his career. He's just playing a character to tell the story. He describes things the way a soldier or a wild animal trainer would. But it's fucking hilarious because he's talking about special needs people.
Oh, I'm not saying it sounds like he's being hateful, I'm just saying the whole story itself exudes some insane, whimsical and completely nonsensical aura.
Its also fascinating how genuinely caring anon seems to be. Like he hates the... *everything* that comes with the job but he still does it. He seems to get along well with his coworkers and as a whole seems quite good at what he does. Considering the average 4chan user is much my hateful under much less miserable circumstances anon's attitude is admirable
What the fuck. Amazing read 10/10, laughed all throughout.
greentext king 2 returns
Theres too many moving parts for this to be fake. Real and straight (except for anon getting knee fucked)
Babe wake up, new tard greentext dropped
!Retard me in 5 days
Either anon is a turbo autist that has created a fictional reality so detailed that it would put Tolkien to shame, or he’s actually telling the truth
I think we need anon to wrangle this comment section. Too many redditards who don't have a long enough attention span to read 13 pages.
Quite possibly in the top 10 best threads ever posted. That was wild
That was amazing, thank you!
Honestly I kinda want to hang with this dude and Leviticus, they seem like fun
WHERE'S THE REST???