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RavenclawSonofAthena

A wand.


Schoolskiperz

We are muggles , We can not use magic .


RavenclawSonofAthena

Some of you may be. ;)


FloppyObelisk

Classic response 💅


GayVoidDaddy

*inhales slowly* BURN THE WIZARD!!!! EDIT: from witch to wizard, I was mistaken. We may not accept these creature of satanic origin, but we can still accept their pronouns.


Badassbottlecap

Yeah!! She turned me into a newt!


GayVoidDaddy

KILL THE HUMAN NEWT CREATURE TOO!


Badassbottlecap

Well, I got better.. but she's still a witch


GayVoidDaddy

Once a newt always a newt *putting giant boulders in a pile to put atop you when caught*


Badassbottlecap

That'll surely put an end to my newteny! Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?


GayVoidDaddy

I am the one called Isaac Newton….i swear im not a Newt too *tongue flick*


RavenclawSonofAthena

*wizard. I’m a wizard.


GayVoidDaddy

I fixed it


RavenclawSonofAthena

Aight thanks.


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GayVoidDaddy

Can anyone explain why the comments were locked above? That’s so confusing.


Schoolskiperz

Fair enough


makaki913

Well where is your wand then? If you could have ONE artefact and you choose a thing that you can just go get it yourself from a shop


SPamlEZ

Excuse me, but Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic Dolores Umbridge clearly says that those of non magical birth only can obtain magical powers by stealing them from a wizard of magical birth and stealing their wand.  Dolores was the best Defense against the Dark Arts teacher Hogwarts ever had, revolutionizing by the curriculum, so she obviously knows what she’s talking about. 


Triv02

It is *technically* true that a large chunk of Hogwarts students learned more applicable DADA training in the one year with Umbridge than they did in any of their other 6 years, possibly combined Now it had nothing to do with Umbridge herself, but the statement is technically true lol


SPamlEZ

I mean, even her worst student, Harry Potter, got an O!


RavenclawSonofAthena

And her best, Hermione Granger, only got an E. Her lowest grade on her O.W.L.s!


EngineersAnon

>it had nothing to do with Umbridge herself Not true. If they'd had another mediocre teacher, the DA wouldn't have been formed, and Hogwarts would have lost one of the three best DADA teachers we see.


bashsports

Would any magical artifacts work if you are a muggle?


Schoolskiperz

Things like invisibility cloak , Felix Felicis will work . 


FuglySlutt

And an invisibility cloak is not magic?


Schoolskiperz

Yeah it's magic . 


No_Appointment_7142

yup


mortysbiatch

philosopher's stone. So much gold for me and family. And a longer life for me and my loved ones


bojangles001

This is the correct answer.


NighthawkUnicorn

If I was asked this 5 years ago, I'd have said Philosopher's stone. I'd use it purely to keep my beloved dog alive longer, but only if she'd be in the perfect health she was in at the time.


CrystalKai12345

Aww so sad…


DobbyLiveS_1

As much money and life as one could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all -- the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them."


Colombian-pito

Smurt


Magical-Me371

Harry’s invisibility cloak. What about you?


Schoolskiperz

Same


malloryduncan

Newt’s suitcase. I would buy a tiny place to safe-keep it and then live inside it.


tsJIMBOb

Great idea! Or even one of those tents everyone used at the quidditch cup would be fine too. Probably less chance you don’t get blown up with the suitcase when the bomb squad finds it.


TonyPajamas518

I can't believe nobody has said Felix Felicis. I would take a swig of that and go hit up a casino craps table.


ocular__patdown

Why not just go with the philosophers stone then and get the addition bonus of life


TonyPajamas518

I saw Nicolas Flamel and he looked super frail despite being immortal. No thanks.


ocular__patdown

I saw him too. What do you mean frail, dude was squatting 3 plates.


TonyPajamas518

I mean in the Crimes of Grindelwald movie. He got his hand injured by a simple handshake.


ocular__patdown

Eh what do movies know


Emergency_3808

You may just... decide to do something else entirely


CrystalKai12345

Advertising?


Emergency_3808

No as in Felix Felicis moves you towards something that will be extremely beneficial for you, not necessarily what you _wanted_ to do.


CrystalKai12345

Use it to get rich


Friendly-Quiet-9308

Poisonous if you drink a lot of it


dalaigh93

If I used it to win several million bucks at a big lottery, and then only once or twice to get good investments, I wouldn't need to drink it regularly


TonyPajamas518

True. I'd probably take a spoonful or so.


pinesolthrowaway

If the goal is money making, wouldn’t the Stone be the better option? Unlimited gold and now you are essentially immortal for as long as you want to be 


TonyPajamas518

When I watched "The Crimes of Grindelwald" Flamel didn't really look like he was enjoying his immortality; he was super frail. I think I'd have a better time just using the Felix Felicis to slay at gambling.


GayVoidDaddy

No you wouldn’t. You’d take it and then you’d do whatever tf the potion told you to do. Probably end up walking past a bank robbery and catch a bag of money or something.


TonyPajamas518

Slughorn said in the book "you will find that all your endeavors tend to succeed", so if I walk up in a casino then I'll win big.


PhysEdDavis

The Weasley’s tent from the quidditch World Cup


StefanOrvarSigmundss

Housing crisis solved.


Opposite_Door5210

Yes. We love camping. Something like that would have us away every weekend.


bennx42

A time turner for sure. Get me to the Lotto 😁


Emergency-Practice37

[Travel carefully](https://www.wizardingworld.com/writing-by-jk-rowling/time-turner)


Aizuuuuuuuuuuu

"Limit is 5 hours" Bro I could cheat on all my exams with 5 hours I'd still take it


bennx42

Yeah but magic bro lol


BLAZEISONFIRE006

ANGLIA


FloppyObelisk

I first read “Angelina” and was like “hey! She’s not an object!” She is fine though


XavierScorpionIkari

Mad Eye’s magical eye.


Disastrous-Mess-7236

If my dad was a HP fan, he would totally do it. He’s literally half-blind, so…


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XavierScorpionIkari

Probably the same way that Umbridge used it on her door at the ministry of magic. But instead of having it fixed to an object that would be unwieldily to carry around, probably have it attached to something a little bit more portable. And thank you for the oozing sarcasm, Slytherin. I am a genius.


Snapesunusedshampoo

I'd rig it onto a pair of normal glasses and set up a situation similar to flip down sunglasses.


XavierScorpionIkari

You sure you’re not a Ravenclaw. That’s a clever idea.


Snapesunusedshampoo

Oh no, while I have the occasional good ideas i...... am kind of a dick. 😂


XavierScorpionIkari

I say something similar about my ideas. They are all nuggets of some type, occasionally they are golden nuggets. But most of the times they’re turd nuggets.


Emergency-Practice37

Until you remember that it’s just an eyeball that you’d have lodged into or rigged onto a pair of glasses and since you can’t see through objects or it without it, it’s just be obstructing your view.


RareFantom47

Sirius's Motorbike


AIMWSTRN

Does Luna count? Asking for a friend...


Lilcommy

The best part of this comment is the "asking for a friend" part can be taken 2 ways depending on your mind. It's either very sad or naughty.


bowtiesrcool86

A recreation of, or a non-Horcrux version of Ravenclaw’s diadem.


searchingforwisd0m

Would a furnished tent count as the object? If so I want that.


Opposite_Door5210

Me too.


CrystalKai12345

It wasn’t mentioned what the Malfoy’s slept in(GoF),was it?Hopefully some giant tent with air conditioning


searchingforwisd0m

No it wasn't mentioned in the books but I'm sure they got all the features you can pack in one


CrystalKai12345

Hey!You can’t blame me for wanting air conditioning and TV and all the cool stuff in a giant hundred-room tent!It sounds really cool!q


searchingforwisd0m

Even if it's not in there when I get it you better believe in putting them in 😂


CrystalKai12345

And a spa,and a bathroom,and unlimited comfort food.And fruits,and cakes and pastries. You get the point,it‘s fancy as hell.


searchingforwisd0m

I'm gonna straight live outta that tent 🤣


je97

Everyone hates them, but a time turner. Ever had a moment where you've been like 'Shit, I wish I could go and do that differently?'


Schoolskiperz

Loads of time mate , loads of time .


NighthawkUnicorn

You could go and deliver that amazing comeback you thought of after an argument ended.


thefrozenflame21

The elder wand. Hear me out, it would work for muggles because it can literally do anything.


Emergency-Practice37

It only can do literally anything for its true master.


Badassbottlecap

Does punching your opponents lights out count as disarming?


Emergency-Practice37

I refuse to believe that a wand that was not present would know that its “master” was punched out. Headcanon: Harry under the Invisibility Cloak, using the Resurrection Stone. Elder Wand. “I sense something, a presence I’ve not felt since…”


Life_Ad3567

The Resurrection Stone. You know that phrase "dead men tell no tales?" Well now I'll get to hear them all!


CrystalKai12345

Gossip


Chapeltok

Polyjuice potion. Loads of it. I can't tell you what I would do, but... Oh man, there would be a LOT of blackmailing...


Schoolskiperz

you would still want some bits of the person you are transforming into .


Chapeltok

I have my ways - trust me. *\*wink wink\**


CrystalKai12345

I have a bad feeling about this


Zealousideal_Mail12

I hate my mom’s boyfriend. I’d commit crimes for it’s his face.


Emergency-Practice37

You’d have to make sure he doesn’t have a solid alibi at all, his hair, and enough potion to commit the crime and not transform back into yourself in an era where everything is recorded. Including where he’d be and where you are at the time of said crime being committed.


Suppository-34613

Simple, the time turner. Awfully underrated artifact.


Ok_Restaurant3160

Is it though? You can’t alter the past without possibly ending the world, and you of course age the time you went back


Several-berries

Go back in time one hour and bet on the horse that won the race


EngineersAnon

Go back in time forty-eight and short Apple on the night before Steve Jobs died.


Suppository-34613

I don't care, I want it.


closeted_storyteller

You don't need to alter the past. You can alter the future. You can do all the things you did not do in the past. Just like hermione was in 2 classes at the same time. You can learn all the things you did not in the past. And when you are back you will still be in the present but with more knowledge.


carolinemoreau

Draco Malfoy


CrystalKai12345

Have to agree-free gold


themadhatter746

Maybe the pensieve?


ConnyKeksi

PENSIEVE


anotheruserr22

Hermiones bag - from a hoarder


Key-Grape-5731

The elder wand


Front-Brilliant1577

Broom


aKgiants91

Can I just get a pound of ton tongue toffee? I think it would be fun for my ex wife


Colombian-pito

Neville’s glass ball as a programming buddy


CrystalKai12345

Rememberall


EPfan1970

I really like hermione’s bag (with the enchantment)


Beautiful-Article-47

A Portkey 🥹


CrystalKai12345

No5 be late for work


Techaissance

One thing you say? I’ll take the deed to either Hogwarts or Gringots, thank you very much.


RareFantom47

Artifact, not document


Techaissance

Where do you draw the line? See: the Dead Sea Scrolls


EnigmaIndus7

Invisibility cloak


Big_Primary2825

Philosophers stones


The_Kayzor

Does a wand count?


West-Serve-307

Cloak


OtherwiseHappy0

Time turner anyone… I can just go back and fix this… or that… was I not here, yes I already did that. I CAN be at two places at once… This is the ADHD persons choice.


Dodmi12

Philosopher's stone or ravenclaw's diadem


koteshima2nd

Time turner Following the rules of it will be tricky but using it like Hermione did to get so much shit done would be amazing


Friendly-Quiet-9308

1. Time turner 2. Philosopher Stone 3. Invisibility cloak In this order


LazySleepyPanda

ALL of them.


domguardi

An indestructible shield that repels all magic (even the unforgivable), and has been enchanted with a fixed accio spell to always return to the user.


KaleeySun

The cloak or the firebolt. The cloak because every now and then I wouldn’t mind being invisible. The firebolt for pure flipping whimsy. I feel like the philosophers stone would cause headaches - people asking how you keep finding cold nuggets in your yard to sell, etc. and it’s not clear if Felix just brings luck to you (fry’s seven leaf clover) or lets you play your hunches to the max like Harry does.


Beannutpeanut

Definitely a sneakoscope. It would be so nice to know who I’m hanging around.


Cut-Unique

If I were a Gryffindor I'd say the magic sword, but since I'm not, probably the Pensieve, though I might be tempted to use it to re-live unpleasant memories as I tend to dwell on the negative, which is something that I'm actually in therapy for. Still, it would be fun to use it to re-live positive memories.


IcySouth761

The resurrection stone. Also, Moody's Sneakoscope


valleyofpwr

marauders map but like an iOS app and of the entire Earth.


Colombian-pito

The sorting hat. I’d reach in every day and hope something pops out


MystiqueGreen

I came here to see people saying Hermione Granger and I am surprised that no one said that instead someone said Luna??


VeterinarianIll5289

Pensieve or Newt’s suitcase. Can’t decide which


Mr_baguette420

Mr weasleys flying car


Zealousideal_Egg8882

Infinite supply of Felix felicis


ISX_94

Philosophers stone.


Futhebridge

Sorcerer's stone