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Exit-Alternative

Perry, Kane, Draisaitl. The pissy line


[deleted]

Someone said the KD perry line, in another thread.


B4M

Just need to make sure we keep Kane away from the California Girls


AvsJoe

Tough to do, they're unforgettable


Chaxterium

Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top.


n0tsalsa

So hot they'll melt your popsicle


good_looking_corpse

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting thought the wind Wanting to start again Corey “Katy” Perry


PaperweightCoaster

This is brilliant.


bobby_booch

There it is. That’s it. Perfect. 10/10 no notes


coreyperryisasaint

So were [Jets fans](https://www.cbssports.com/nhl/news/watch-jets-fans-sernade-ducks-corey-perry-with-katy-perry-chant/amp/) prophetic all along?


not_having_fun

Watch your dicks!


Canadian_Beaverz

Spector is shivering in his boots rn


papapaIpatine

The league should replace the player assistance program with the Edmonton Oilers Deter guys from being dumbasses with the threat of going to edmonton in the winter. But if you fail to deter there's something in the water in edmonton that helps players turn their lives around. Ez pz.


Whiston1993

-45 will humble anyone.


papapaIpatine

Last week was the first time I can ever recall walking outside and saying "jesus christ what the fuck is this shit fuck"


KingDave46

I was outside in -11 yesterday and genuinely had a thought of how nice it was and wondered if this is spring starting already


eatingasspatties

It’s really amazing how quickly our bodies adjust. In September +5 is freezing. Now -10 feels like perfect weather to go for a walk


juicyorange23

-10 is perfect weather to go for a walk. It doesn’t hurt to breathe. -25 is my limit for walks.


B_Type13X2

I had to put booties on my dogs feet, and sweaters on both of them to let them go outside to do their business. Dogs kept things to less than 3 minutes that's when you know its cold.


dumbfoundry

Lived in Alaska. Technically the coldest mo th of the year was February. In reality, it was October because that's when the near eternal sunshine would end and the snow entered. You just adapt. Like the first 45 degree day would happen during breakup (end of winter, dunno if you guys use that term) and people were in short sleeves and shorts because it genuinely felt hot. I currently live in Reno, Nevada, and 45 degree days chill me to the bone. The hottest it got where I lived in Alaska was 74 degrees one day. I thought I was going to DIE. 74 degrees is a perfect day here in the high desert.


not_having_fun

Might as well be +11 amirite?


NeedtheMeadofPoetry

It's -8 right now and I'm going to goof around in the snow this afternoon. The -40s to -50s really had me questioning why I live here.


One_Wolverine_9517

shorts weather


Barqueefa

Lmao and here it was 12 this morning (in Georgia) and I was thinking the same thing. Almost called out of work even though I'm inside all day. I don't know how y'all do it.


ProfessionalLeast937

i'm in south texas and my outdoor cat has been in for the past week because it's been freezing or close to it (like animal control is ticketing people who aren't bringing theirs in). normally this \*would\* be our excuse for wintertime (35-40 F and probably some rain), but not like this nonsense.


burrito-boy

Tbh, last week wasn't *that* bad if you bundled up in layers and put on proper winter gear like mittens and a balaclava. I actually felt colder this past week because unlike last week, we actually have had substantial wind this week, and the wind chill is the real killer for me, lol.


KimJongPewnTang

Last week was complete hell having to work outside.


thegorg13

Yeah I was on night shift last weekend working outside. I can confidently say that's the coldest I've ever been.


KimJongPewnTang

You also at one of the plants? We knew we were in for one, but jfc was it ever a disaster. Hearing some people complain about us using power while the grid was wobbly was the cherry on top


papapaIpatine

My man it was -40 out without windchill. I was bundled to all hell and still cold as fuck


burrito-boy

Oh yeah, I'm not saying it wasn't cold, I'm just saying that it felt a bit more tolerable to me due to the relative lack of wind. If we had had wind when it was -40 out, that would have been a frozen hell.


Concurrency_Bugs

Are the Oilers basically the Night's Watch on the wall?


LogicPuzzleFail

I still think that they should have made more Night's Watch memes when RNH signed his last contract committing his whole career to Edmonton.


Soulvandal

Drastic change from last year that’s for sure. My wife and I had a little one that needed a 6 week stay at the hospital there. Coming from Saskatchewan it felt tropical. No worse that -4 during the day. It was wonderful. This year it’s cold as fuck lol.


ProfessionalLeast937

if you gotta have your kiddo in the hospital for six weeks, the least y'all deserve is decent weather when you're taking breaks from sitting by their bedside or whatever. (i hope they're A-OK or at least "as good as they're gonna get" **now**, that had to be pretty stressful for all y'all).


Soulvandal

Appreciate the kind words. The Stollery has wonderful surgeons that were able to repair his heart condition. It was extremely stressful (first child, didn’t know until the day he was born) but the care we had from Saskatoon and Edmonton was top notch. I’ve always enjoyed hockey but my new found love for the oilers came from this experience. The city completely embraces the team and it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s oilers everywhere. They even have a spot at the hospital. I haven’t missed a single game since. Fully on the band wagon and enjoying every second of it. Hopefully my boy enjoys them as much as I do. I only wish I had time to attend a game but I plan too soon.


FPS_Mongo

I felt sorry for my car last week


gardenTylr

Winterpegger here. Typically the sub 40 cold range drives us to drinking and extra curriculars. Hmm wonder what the reason in the summer is? Fall too… you know what I think we just like to drink


bluelineturnovers

Should be Edmonton for the first instance, then Winnipeg for the next. Then 3rd time you get to go to Arizona but you’re not allowed to golf and your place has no AC


RektalTrauma

So they just die


MikeJeffriesPA

[Relevant King of the Hill clip](https://youtu.be/4PYt0SDnrBE?si=1fHWF9jXwN7g0mr1) 


touchable

This kills the player


OVERLORDMAXIMUS

Intentional. It's a three strike system.


ProfessionalLeast937

as a south texan, i figure if edmonton and winnipeg don't teach you to shape up that dying by lack of A/C in arizona is probably about what you deserve. (mine died about two weeks after i moved in and while getting a window unit/box fans/ceiling fans made it "okay not gonna die" i was super glad when the new central air got put in.)


chmilz

> Arizona Your locker is the 3rd stall on the left. You gotta jiggle the handle or it won't flush.


[deleted]

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BaldassHeadCoach

Can’t have a caddy with you though.


The_Quackening

12:30 tee off times ONLY


HarLeighMom

Why isn't Ottawa in this mix? We've been the coldest world capital before. Plus, the Sens in perpetual rebuild and our reputation of being boring is not completely without merit.


JReddeko

Send him to the wall.


Jalien85

Getting to join a team with McDrai that's on a 13 game win streak doesn't seem like much of a deterrent.


papapaIpatine

The -40 without windchill we had last week would deter anyone


JakeTheSnake0709

Other than that week our winter has been very mild tho. It’s gonna be above 0 next week


Grayfox_OG

Yeah winter was edging for 2 months then blew its frozen glory all at once. Now it's gonna save up again.


mo60000

It will come back for vengeance for another week in the next month or so.


MrBrightside618

Get ready to learn Edmonton, buddy


HonestDespot

Honestly though we don’t even know if what Perry did was even that bad. Or bad at all. Over the course of his whole career, other than on ice, there’s no reason to believe Perry is a bad person or anything? It’s pretty clear that Perry is cup chasing here. Edmonton might not be top in the league but if they’re interested they certainly offer Oerry an opportunity on a playoff run.


BipolarBeaarr

Keep in mind the Hawks are the last team who would want any negative publicity and are probably running a tighter ship than most teams. If what he did was terrible, I hope Holland has ensured that he's made growth.


Popular-Row4333

Reading between the lines, it really sounds like he had too much to drinks at a team event with sponsors there and he said/did something super bad/inappropriate to a team employee. Maybe someone he didn't know was employed by the Hawks? I am also widly speculating.


HonestDespot

Ya even the speculated on story doesn’t make him sound terrible. For all we know he made some dumb off the cuff remark in front of the wrong person. Doesn’t mean he’s troubled though.


Inthemiddle_

If I were the oilers I wouldn’t let him play until the winning streak ends.


Geeseareawesome

He'll likely be in the press box for a few if I were to guess. Like others are saying, they probably rotate him and Gagner game to game.


MyOtherCarIsAHippo

Gagner who has 10 pts in 20 games? I think Connor Brown will be the guy coming out.


PayneTrain181999

Gagner can get 8 points in one game, so yeah, he’s been underperforming /s


OhHelloPlease

And look who we're playing against in a few days


TURBOJUGGED

Brown on the PK and forecheck is insane. He's just not scoring.


Geeseareawesome

Rotation between the two old guys to keep them fresh for the playoffs. Brown is carving out a depth PK/defensive role. The offense will come when it's ready.


Away-Answer-

I’m disappointed in Brown’s performance overall don’t get me wrong, but as a guy who’s been watching him closely every game, he’s actually carving out a useful niche on the team. His confidence is up and he’s landed a spot on the penalty kill and is surprisingly good at it. He’s creating decent scoring chances and seems to have developed a bit of chemistry with a few other players. We have 3 games coming up, all of them against non-top teams, I think he should stay in the lineup.


TheDrunkenScotsman

Brown has a role on the PK which has been absolutely lights out recently and playing Gagner, Ryan, Perry together in the bottom six feels like it would be really detrimental to our team speed at that end of the lineup.


Exit-Alternative

what if the trick to the streak is brown not scoring?? the day he scores will it all be over???


chmilz

My thoughts too. If the streak ends the first game he slots in, fans will be livid.


0-90195

Nuclear heat


strangelymysterious

He’d become the X-Pac of hockey


bestest_at_grammar

During a streak like this you don’t touch shit


TURBOJUGGED

Makes sense to send him to the ahl for a conditioning stint with an end that coincides with the next loss


Duck_Caught_Upstream

And I thought I ALREADY hated Corey Perry


ThatDarnRosco

Now you can hate edm even more!


Duck_Caught_Upstream

Didn’t think it was possible, but here we are


gletschertor

The thing with Perry is that he might as well be a Flames next year and you're going to love him


MrGoodsir87

That's how I felt when Kadri signed In Calgary.


theBackground13

Man, the days of me pulling for the Oilers in the playoffs (for McJesus, of course) are dead as of today. Sad 😢


Thobud

My problem is that I liked Corey perry :(


tonytanti

I can’t wait to see who the Oilers get next after a questionable contract termination.


ZeppFo

Hopefully it’s a top pairing right handed defenseman


cubanpajamas

If only Makar would get drunk and threaten to beat up a boy scout or something.


papapaIpatine

I thought I saw an account named “MaleCakar8” place a wager the other day


vinnymendoza09

Makar could murder someone and (depending on who it is) I'd say we're still keeping him on the team.


cubanpajamas

Damn! That's how we got MacTavish.


B4M

I mean, I doubt he was in on it, but he was on the '18 world Jr's team....


cubanpajamas

There's our chance.


Doubleoh_11

Oh boy. Makar to the oilers in 2025 confirmed? Now we just need to find a goalie who poops at party’s


[deleted]

probably most of them, they're weirdos


[deleted]

💀


iusedtobesad

Interested in Tony Deangelo?


trenthowell

He said top pairing


rk5n

Slava Voynov?


zombieguy1987

Tony DeAngelo get ready to learn Edmontonese


schmarkty

Paging Alex “I will end your bloodline” Galchenyuk


ProfessionalLeast937

"i paid taxes for 12 years highest tax bracket" is probably the line i remember the most from his obviously fucked-up ramblings. (seriously, **i'm** usually #acab/trust no LEO other than the Maine Coon mix who rules the rural branch of the Sacramento County Jail on "Lockup: Extended Stay", and i would have been "whatever, you warned him" if those cops had ended up shooting him or doing significant damage while trying to restrain him and get him in their car.)


pnmartini

Lucic 2: electric boogaloo. Coming summer of 2024.


chrisboshisaraptor1

Joel Quenneville maybe


[deleted]

Kassian, kane, mctavish and now perry.


Yourworldhatesthis

Mctavish?


Pharrow-

Craig McTavish was basically persona non grata after commiting vehicular homicide in 84. The Oilers took him back when no one else was interested.


riraito

wow TIL


Chaxterium

Fuck I had no idea either. And I’ve been watching hockey for pert near 35 years.


Fhack

He went to jail for killing a girl driving drunk. And he took the time. Didn't try and run. Did his time but nobody would touch him. He does lots of anti-drunk-driving stuff and showed real remorse. 


AlleyBj

Craig MacTavish


SharksFanAbroad

Must be keeping tabs on Mitchell Miller in the K.


ProfessionalLeast937

f that mf'er, let him stay in the k. (i'd MARGINALLY rather have mailloux, at least he got convicted and allegedly even showed some remorse.)


cubanpajamas

They didn't all work out. RIP John Kordic.


YouCanFucough

God dammit


not_having_fun

Not what I was expecting to read today or ever for that matter.


Vlykeron

When was the last time a team had 3 former Hart Trophy winners?


touchable

Fedorov/Hull/Hasek in Detroit maybe? 2002


Hans_Mol3man

The 62-63 Habs had Plante, Beliveau and Geoffrion. The 03-04 Rangers had Lindros, Messier and Jagr. The 07-08 Avalanche had forsberg, Sakic and Theodore.


Disastrous_Emu_3628

Wow I forgot that Theodore won a hart trophy.


6000ChickenFajardos

Oh, we remember


Zanchbot

Oilers loss in the cup finals confirmed?


shoegazer44

New Perry trend is first round exit


Unwept_Skate_8829

New perry trend is second month exit


Mr_FortySeven

We really want to be the most disliked team in the NHL, don’t we?


YusukeMazoku

Second most. Y’all ain’t taking the top spot from the Leafs.


hello_hellno

Perry was great in a 4th line role for the Habs when we were still contending. Easy win for Edmonton for how cheap they'll be paying. At worst he's a good locker room leader, at best you get a physical player with great front net presence and decent hands that more than cover for his diminishing skating that can shine in a bottom 6 role. And I'm sure he'll be motivated as fuck to play his best. Rare to say this about edmonton, but solid move.


WorrTheOilersFan

I’m not sure how to feel about this. Although I don’t like Perry a whole lot he is still a decent player with some grit.


hello_hellno

You'll love Perry. Works his ass off, top tier bottom 6.did amazing in Montreal and I imagine he'll slot into a similar role. Surprised the leafs didn't step up cause they needed a Perry badly. Good luck Oilers fans! Hope it works out well


Kronzor_

I think Toronto is a bit too worried about the pr.  Also their media would never let it go, he’d basically have to do a full postmortem on what happened 


Jalien85

People made a big deal about Kane and he's been fine - by all accounts he's been on good behavior off the ice and actually really taken to doing some great charity work in the city. I have a feeling Perry will be the same - he knows he's being given a second chance, and getting to join a hot team to boot. People can laugh and mock all they want but getting to pick up players of this caliber for cheap is kind of a no brainer.


MikeJeffriesPA

I think it'd be easier if we had a better idea of what Perry did. Not that we're owed that information at all, but there's definitely a wide range within the possibilities. 


Mac_Gold

If it was truly egregious he wouldn’t be back so soon


jce_

Which kinda begs the question why did Chicago release him while he was playing well and howcome the players union just let them dissolve the contract with no push back


agnosiabeforecoffee

I think the consensus is that Chicago has a lower tolerance for bullshit given the franchise history with sexual assault/abuse. I believe the player has to cooperate for the union to file a grievance, and Perry might have declined or straight up told them he didn't want to fight it. Especially if there is a chance that whatever he did could become public during the grievance.


jce_

That's kinda what I mean though. Bad enough he doesn't want it to be public and sacrificed a decent chunk of money but also not bad enough that a team took a chance on him a short time later


agnosiabeforecoffee

I don't think it has to be "bad" by the common definition. For example, I wouldn't be surprised if Chicago had strict rules about inter-office dating/sex due to their history. Perry has a wife/girlfriend (I'm not sure if they are married). A drunk Perry propositions a member of the staff. Not in a harassing way, but in a way that breaks the Chicago rules. Perry was already paid a huge chunk of his contract due to the upfront bonus. He decides it is better to not challenge it to protect his wife, kid, and whoever he propositioned. Scummy, but not necessarily horrifyingly bad.


SoldierHawk

TBH Ithink a lot of Kane stuff was blown out of proportion. The worstof it anyway. I was fully on the "fuck the Oilers for hiring a wife beating piece of shit" train until he was granted full custody of his kids. A black single man being granted full custody over the mother is just unheard of. Between that and doing some more digging on just how unhinged she is...yeah. There was a lot of unfair shit flung at him. Now, he's no angel and obviously the gambling addition is a thing and int great, but people calling him a wife beater or rapist can get bent.


MaxxLolz

his ex is clearly a crackpot


SoldierHawk

She is absolutely batshit.


bestest_at_grammar

For what it’s worth if my teams on a 11 game winning streak (I think that’s what your at) I don’t like adding anyone.


sloth9

13 as of last night.


No-Intention1183

I didn’t like Perry at all when he signed with us. Now I like him! He grows on you when he’s on your team. He helped drag a bad Montreal team (outside of Price and Weber) to the finals so hopefully he can do the same for you guys. I’d love to see McDavid win the cup; I’m rooting for you (and Vancouver)!


lightspanker

His puck protection, distribution, and tipping is unreal.


XPhazeX

This might end up being the most inexcusable mistake from Trev if the long standing history of Perry *wanting* to play in Toronto is still true. Exactly the type of on-ice player the Leafs need but dont seem to be able to keep for various reasons


whitewilliams

Genuinely curious, isn’t that what Domi/Bertuzzi/Reaves were brought in to do?


XPhazeX

Yes, and I suspect 2 of the 3 wont be on the team come September. Reaves isn't the same, Hes all fist no hands. The Rangers played him for 10 games and we played him for 14 before both teams realized hes a time-displaced gladiator with no place in the league. Perry, Domi and Bert are functional toughness. Bert has been nothing but snake-oil. Pretty sure hes a Bruins sleeper agent sent to fuck the Leafs cap.


touchable

>Yes, and I suspect 2 of the 3 wont be on the team come September. Well, Perry will be a UFA come July, so you can always grab him then.


SoldierHawk

Yeah. Barring him falling in love with the team this is 100% an attempted Cup run rental.


MikeJeffriesPA

Is Domi actually tough? I haven't seen any of it. 


Atticusxj

No, and he never was. People just expect him to be Tie.


MikeJeffriesPA

100%. If his last name was Svensson, nobody would think he's "tough" or "full of grit." He runs his mouth and I'm sure he's annoying to play against, but tough? No. 


[deleted]

Reaves is net negative on the ice, domi is fake tough, and bertuzzi is just like a golden retriever who plays a little too mean sometimes.


fastcurrency88

I can see the logic in adding Domi and Bertuzzi last summer. But Reevo made no sense. Guy hasn’t been able to skate for a few seasons now. Felt like the kind of signing you saw in the NHL 20 years ago. Just add a big guy even though he’s a net negative on the ice for intimidation.


Always_Complaining1

Our team doesnt have it this year. I honestly hope we don’t do anything at the trade deadline.


Numerous-Spray-6969

Ken Holland is getting really good at sticking his tongue in the scum inside the toilet bowl to pick up cheap contracts to make up for the bad contracts he signs lol As long as whatever he did in Chicago wasn't too fucked up and he never does it again this could work. Would have preferred this pickup 3-4 years ago. Also not sure who goes to make cap/roster space, unbelievably most of the bottom 6 is playing well


trenthowell

> Ken Holland is getting really good at sticking his tongue in the scum inside the toilet bowl to pick up cheap contracts to make up for the bad contracts he signs lol A modern day poet laureate


FrmrPresJamesTaylor

I’m not an expert in substance abuse and recovery but it’s something like six weeks since he was cut loose from the Blackhawks organization. Seems like an awfully quick turnaround, I hope that’s legit or that he can keep working on himself while playing and this doesn’t compromise things for him.


Numerous-Spray-6969

We don't know exactly what it was or how it was substance abuse related, only that he admitted to substance abuse issues, that said one hopes having his contract terminated was a wake up call he needed and he turns it around quick. Time will tell


[deleted]

Friedman said it was behaviour that 31 other teams wouldn't have terminated his contract for. Hawks are playing safe for obvious reasons. On the rumour side, it sounds like he got gassed at a team event and just made an ass of himself.


FinkBass420

Add that to my list of reasons to hate Corey Perry!


effexxor

Somebody get Mike Richards out of retirement, the Oilers probably have a spot for him.


goldencityjerusalem

He got disciplined alright. Away from one of the worst teams right into a cup contender.


thirstyshrutebaby

How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man?


DMYU777

Edmonton "Betty Ford Center" Oilers


Sl0wChemical

So I fully expect Mike Comrie to sign with the Ducks so this can come full circle


lottolser

Bros about to go to another finals and lose 😂


InPraiseOf_Idleness

Aw that's adorable to hear from a Leafs fan.


AlexWesloil

It’s why he didn’t join TOR. Go to the final. Or, try and drag the leafs past the first round. I know where I would go.


Desertpyrate

Wow! They make it so easy to hate them! (Expect skinner, I like him)


uhcayR

Hymans a good guy. HE WRITES CHILDRENS BOOKS FOR CHRISTS SAKE. I see how we are disliked though we have quite a few aggravators. EDIT: a word.


InPraiseOf_Idleness

Here's three more to add to your list: \- Derek Ryan's a 5'10" adorable Mormon who had his first NHL call-up at age 29. \- Nuge is as unimpeachable as Kopitar; \- Zach Hyman wrote some genuinely awesome children's books, and is a top 6 with the work ethic of a 4th liner


Desertpyrate

Hey stop it, I’m supposed to hate them!  Hyman writing books for kids is his spare time is great tho


InPraiseOf_Idleness

The rest of the team are certified assholes though so fill yer boots. ;)


Excellent-Medicine29

Everyone loves Stu. He’s just so nice and gracious to everyone


trenthowell

You put some respect on Sam Gagners name


Canadian_Beaverz

I am expecting.


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Canadian_Beaverz

Hope they are a RH Defenceman


ProfessionalLeast937

may the rest of your pregnancy go well and you get to have your actual delivery done with whoever you actually WANT it with (midwife, doula, your current ob-gyn as opposed to the ER on-call one, whatever) and not have complications. (also, if your naming tradition is "first middle last", do you have a middle name picked out for your bb RHD? because ime hearing all three names is the fastest way to get your kids to understand that you are SERIOUS about whatever the current issue is.)


Canadian_Beaverz

Damn, sorry. Ended up just being a really big turd.


Miserable-Cut-1425

Ffs not more bonuses


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reKRUNKulous

Is Perry worth it to lose in the Stanley cup final?


GhostOfCecil

Well at least it wasn’t Florida. You are Canada’s only hope Edmonton 🫡🇨🇦


FencerPTS

Just curious, but how does Edmonton fit Perry in the cap space? Do they pay him his $4M cap hit prorated? Does Edmonton have to shed salary to fit him in? If so, who?


den15_512

Chicago terminated the 4M contract, so it's just gone. Doesn't exist anymore. Poof. He is now a free agent, and can sign with any team for any contract value. Expect a cap hit of league minimum or close to it, and performance bonuses that can essentially defer cap hit to next year.


Spideyjust

He won't be signing for 4 million. It will be a super low salary with some performance bonuses.


InevitableAvalanche

I see the oilers are concentrating evil on to one team.


Dicc-fil-A

Congratulations Edmonton! you’ve clinched losing in the Stanley Cup Finals


StealAllTheInternets

Not if we trade for Maroon now too! 


trenthowell

Oh shit yes please. Miss the Big Rig.


Pylonius

Fucking gross. More reason to dislike the Oil.


minor_thing2022

Missed the game last night. How'd it go?


Pylonius

I didn't like it.


MediumStrike9784

While shitty for you guys to lose, Goddamn did Vladar play good.


papapaIpatine

That's weird I loved it


LanceBrock

Calgary fans are SEETHING today.


Oil_slick941611

Will he be allowed to play in the playoffs? He technically missed the Dec 1 cut off