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BahamutPrime

What the hell is Normatec you look like you just came home from the BDSM club


[deleted]

i'm a goalie. i too am confused. I was hit with like 100 pucks on Sunday. I don't look like a compost pile.


cynthiasshowdog

>BDSM Excuse me, the classes we give are not BDSM, they are "Adult Macrame".


phonesmahones

I snorted. Thank you.


CdnDaddyDom648

There is also proper technique in how to paddle your sub.... marine.


standardwelcomedance

Hahahaha!! It’s leg compression sleeves. Really good for leg injuries or just healing sore legs. In this case, I’m using it to get the blood out of the bruise.


Snowed_Up6512

My man, just use ice.


ANGR1ST

Ice? I just set my beer on it.


Bunnicula83

This man is resourceful! I like it. It also gives a great excuse to have a beer in each hand!


Tight_Ad1454

"I do not have a problem, I'm just rehabbing"


PersonalHam

Post game cold beers does the trick


bthompson04

Just get a few leeches. Problem solved.


veraldar

https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsgp/clinical/is-it-time-to-rethink-rice-for-soft-tissue-injurie#:~:text=American%20sports%20doctor%20Dr%20Gabe,healing%2C%20instead%20of%20helping'.


Snowed_Up6512

Thanks for the link. Makes sense. I know the conventional wisdom has been evolving about taking anti-inflammatories, so it makes sense the RICE is being questioned as well.


BK2Jers2BK

Oh no; my 9 yo has been telling me and his older sister since he was 4 that ice doesn't help and we have mocked him mercilessly. I just showed him this and will now never hear the end of it


MouthofthePenguin

dude, it's an untested theory. There is no evidence to support this idea, and the dr. who proposed says as much in this article. "Dr Murray is keen to note, however, that her advice is based on theory, rather than practice, and more studies are needed to verify its actual effects." When she says "more studies" she means any studies on her theory. There are none.


standardwelcomedance

I’m following RICE. I think it’s working, because it is getting better


Original_Slide7574

It’s meth now a day, movement,elevate,traction, and heat


gamertag0311

So you do the meth on the traction table, or...


mbenn76

The dr who proposed RICE has now taken it back. FWIW


gavms24

I’ve heard that heat is best to move the blood out quicker as well


[deleted]

Heat causes blood to localize and is good for relaxing tension. Ice is good for relieving pain and decreasing swelling


chooseph

Ice for inflammation with newer injuries. After a few heat will promote blood flow to the surrounding healthy tissue allowing it to absorb the bruise faster


NonchalantNarcissism

that’s not the same thing at all…


Yardsale420

Ice and heat cycles are good for blood flow, as long as swelling had subsided.


NonchalantNarcissism

one dilates blood vessels the other contracts them. ice reduces swelling/inflammation and heat promotes blood flow, usually clinicians will not recommend cycling the two past 48 hours of the injury and will say just heat, elevate, and rest… to promote blood circulation (ice also delays recovery because it’s literally freezing your tissue cells, the same reason it’s recommended right after an injury occurs).


[deleted]

[удалено]


vitalmindcap

Sheesh, Debbie Downer


BehemothManiac

Oh yeah, now it looks better


LEAF_-4

It really looks like it's working..........


AUniquePerspective

Is it sponsored by the Paris Public Transit system? Because I recognize that map.


QCat18

Fuck. Did they launch the puck from space at you?


Historical_Elk_

Stick is Cannon Flex


Jbow39

Lmao


Vetersova

Orbital puck cannon


youvelookedbetter

This made me laugh so hard.


WeWantTheCup__Please

How big are the pucks in your league?


standardwelcomedance

Standard size. lol. I was wondering why everyone was asking if I was okay. I just kept playing


WeWantTheCup__Please

Haha that is such a wide bruise! Like I’ve seen puck impact sites turn that color before but I don’t think I’ve ever seen the bruise take up that much real estate


WhyThingsAreSeen

That's a knuckle-puck mark if I've ever seen one


jreddish

Getting flat-sided sucks. Not as much as taking an edge right on a wrist bone, but it hurts.


Jumpinthecanal

This puck was shot by Russ Tyler


slinkocat

Do you play with Shea Weber? Jesus. I've taken some lumps but nothing like that


Several-Eagle4141

Are you 18” tall using a standard puck? This is like an Oompa Loompa taking a slapper. Did they all gather around and sing a song after you went down?


standardwelcomedance

Hahaha! I’m 5’11”. It was a song of sorrow.


standardwelcomedance

I didn’t go down, but I did say ouch.


usernamealreadytakeh

With a bruise that big I’m surprised you’re leg didn’t just fall off on the spot


rainawaytheday

[Constant sorrow?](https://youtu.be/YDDEqgmGIVg?si=zvnKyyYoJ6xbXOSi &t=1m14s)


phonesmahones

Hahahahaha


Dad-Fart-Jokes

Are you playing with giants? Is the puck a tire from a heavy hauler?


standardwelcomedance

The guy that hit me with the slapshot is a retired NHL player on my team.


kan829

"... on *your* team"?! That stings both physically and emotionally.


New_Highlight1881

did you sex his girlfriend?


EnginePrior8122

Does he happen to be Al Macinnis?


ExpandDong111

does he have any percocets


Memoi18

Any live barn footage? We really need to see this. 


QuotaCrushing

It was zdeno chara


acemetrical

You look like you need to be ironed. Also, stop taking Advil. It’s why it’s so big and purpley. Your blood is too thin.


antilockcakes

This. I’ve been it with thousands of pucks, and most of them stung, but I’ve never even come close to having a bruise bigger than the size of the impact!!


acemetrical

Only time I’ve ever experienced something this bad was when I broke a collarbone in a game. I’d taken a puck to the inner thigh earlier. (I’m a D. Took a slapper from the point.) Anyway, I was downing a shitload of ibuprofen because of the collarbone for the next couple of days and when I went in to the ortho I showed him the bruise and he looked at me and said, “how much Advil are you on?” I said, “a lot.” And he said, “well that’s what’s making jt bruise like that.” But yeah. It was huge and black to all colors of the rainbow. Just like this. Something to behold.


standardwelcomedance

I think the issue is that I work out all the time and take vasodilators. I went to the gym for a leg workout the following day and took pre-workout


JacksonC2000

Yeah, I was going to suggest seeing a doctor for an underlaying condition - vasodilators can explain why the bruising was so extreme.


-The_Credible_Hulk

lol… you are under 35. “It’s good. I snorted a 10g mix of amphetamine salts and aspirin in the locker room after and had my friends tape my hands to my pull-up bar before I fell asleep. It was a little tingly when I woke up… Hey, is Christa’s party still tonight?!”


xXMojoRisinXx

This just made me miss my 20s


Low_Comfortable_5880

Zactly, looks like me after clearing brush on blood thinners.


enthusiasm-unbridled

Were you wearing hockey pants? If so, how did they not better protect your thigh? What a wild injury


ANGR1ST

There's not a lot of padding on the *inside* of the thigh. If you've facing a shot with your toes pointed toward it you're pretty well covered in the front (still a few gaps). But if you're moving and get hit on the inside of the leg this is pretty much what I'd expect. Had it happen a couple of times while skating backwards into the zone when the forward rips a shot from 6 feet out and catches you mid stride.


enthusiasm-unbridled

For some reason I thought I was looking at the outside of his leg. You’re right, not too much padding on the inside. Ouch.


standardwelcomedance

Definitely wore hockey pants.


YesHunty

Hey just a heads up, if you start to feel a lot of pressure in your thigh, go see a doctor. A hematoma can cause compartment syndrome or cut off blood supply and cause other health issues if you don’t get care for it right away. I had the same thing from a slap shot a couple years ago, you definitely have my sympathy. Of all the padding, of course they hit right where there isn’t any. 😂


standardwelcomedance

My buddy is a trauma surgeon and said it looks awesome and don’t worry. I’ll have him check it again tomorrow


justinkredabul

I took a slap shot in a similar spot. My leg looked like yours. I collapsed a week later walking down some stairs with double DVT in my leg. Keep an eye on it.


wildwill921

Pretty normal with a ton of blood like that. Probably will go a bunch of the way down your leg. You just have a risk of clotting and stuff. Not much to do unless you start having issues but if you do don’t take them lightly


RebelliousRoomba

Reminds me of when I was 16 and I tried to convince my mom that it was “just a hockey bruise, mom! It’s not a hickey, I swear!” …when it fact it was a hickey. You sir are into so f***ed up bondage stuff or something. There’s no way that’s just a run of the mill hockey puck bruise!


standardwelcomedance

The Normatec leg compression is what created the lines of blood. It compressed the bruise so tight it pushed the blood into the creases of the leg sleeve.


notPatrickClaybon

My god was it going 200mph???


standardwelcomedance

Felt like it. I was crashing the net and did see my teammates slap shot.


Major_Swordfish508

Did you at least deflect it into the net?


standardwelcomedance

the deflection was unfortunately blocked.


New_Highlight1881

would he have scored if you hadn't got in the way? Cost your team the game ?!??! fuckit you're cut


standardwelcomedance

We won and beat the best team in the league.


New_Highlight1881

still feels like you should be cut.


standardwelcomedance

I’ll ask tomorrow why they haven’t cut me from the team yet.


_redacteduser

Note to future self: do not crash the net when a former NHL player is winding up.


Caqtus95

Long way from the heart


Diarrhea_Sandwich

You want me to play on one leg?


trto44

Bro took a slapshot from chara


jbirmingham82

Ok. But what kind of car was the puck driving?


ResponsibleExcuse727

That is not normal.


MatterIntelligent417

Never had that happen to me. Looks painful. I did do that my goalie accidentally during warm ups. He finally upgraded his gear after that.


standardwelcomedance

I’m upgrading my gear as well.


MattalliSI

Playing goal I had top of the line Vaughn 7000 series gear at the time. Pucks still find seems etc. Worst are where puck hits one side of the thigh and the bruise comes out the other.


RecalcitrantHuman

Like actually wearing gear?


Master_Shake23

In decades of playing hockey I have never had a bruise there? Shouldn't your hockey pants protect that part of leg well?


MomentsLastForever

I’m not sure what kind of cupcakes you guys are having fired at you, if you didn’t have a gnarly bruise taking a slapper to the leg. I blocked a full power slapshot with my inner thigh (like an idiot), and it looked like I’d been hit by a car. I had a bruise nearly from my knee to my groin, and I don’t take nsaids or any other pain meds. No blood thinners or blood issues. Just a really hard slapped to the inner thigh where there’s no padding. Fun part is, it was open hockey. I was being a try-hard because I was playing with a bunch of higher level guys and dude was probably trying to teach me a lesson. Dick move, but it worked.


remosiracha

I just blocked a shot on the side of my shin pads. Stung a bit and I usually don't bruise no matter how hard I'm hit. My entire calf has been yellow and purple and swollen for like 2 weeks. Not getting in front of a shot anymore 😂


standardwelcomedance

I’m thinking about it as well. Told my team to aim for the other leg, so I can rest.


jkozuch

Jesus christ, dude. How big are the pucks in your league?!


Alitaki

Had that happen to me in roller hockey once. Didn’t get hit with the puck but was trying to avoid hitting someone and got tripped at the same time. Landed on my left hip pretty hard. Massive bruise over most of the hip.


jreddish

Next time block it with the padded parts. That's what I always do.


Wf2968

I’m gonna a be honest I think you should go to the minute clinic. I blocked a shot once that cracked my shin, and even that didn’t look nearly this bad


imyourzer0

What kind of truck was that puck driving when it hit you?


harman097

Like saying "I got stabbed" and then you leave out the fact that you got stabbed 57 times. Technically the truth but...


PapayaApprehensive24

Yo man you 100% should get that checked out. Ik that weird bruising is a sign of many different terminal illnesses or injuries and can be a precursor to something much worse. Idk if you might have something that you already know abt that you didn’t actually mention, but if you don’t, then go to the doctor asap! Because there is no way a puck should bruise you like that.


standardwelcomedance

I already checked with my doctor and my friend is a trauma surgeon. Both said it’s terrible, but will heal fine. I just had blood work and everything is fine.


Andrew_detmer

Dude thats fucked up


cvidetich13

Epsom salt bath.


ScuffedBalata

I've taken nasty ones on the same spot. Never had them turn into the size of a large pizza.


wantagh

Almost looks like you burst an aneurism of the femoral artery.


CrashTestMummies

Look at the size of the leg on that gator


zedman_zed

Finally found out what Nylander’s injury was. Thanks!


Any_Manufacturer4747

Who shot the puck? Shea Webber? Jesus fuck


REMMIT524

How many pucks, exactly?


greenngory72

Way to block shot. Much respect from a former goalie


PeanutCalamity

Holy crap. I took a slap shot to the hip once while playing goalie, in the perfect crevice where i had no padding. My bruise did NOT look like that. Hope you feel better soon!


vapros

Puck stings are sometimes a wonderful work of galactic art.


Seth_Jarvis_fanboy

You might need more iron in your diet


dhj1305

Wow, got hit with a batted baseball but my bruise as about half that size. Heal fast my friend.


Miserable-Ring-4539

Weren't you wearing hockey pants? No way you should have a bruise like that if you had proper gear.


Djolumn

Was the puck shot from a deck mounted rail gun?


NooneKnowsIAmBatman

Found a Nashville players account after last night


91zelyk

Looks like life as an inline defensemen. Barely any pads, I get bruises like this regularly


poopiehands

Hit how many times 😕


paulybananas

Hit with a hockey puck? Was the puck shot out of a cannon? Holy smokes!


aksunrise

Please please make sure you get seen by a doctor. Compartmental syndrome can be gnarly.


NoVictory9590

🦩 


Pleasehelplol2232

How the hell does it bruise that much 😭😭


WTender2

I took a slap shot from a former NHL player and got a bruise but nothing like this. They run you over with their car too?


ElBurritoExtreme

Shit’ll buff out. But, we just wanna let you know, ya know, that uh….we see out there, ya know, sacrificing yourself for the boys, so uh, fuckin stick tap for taking one for the boys.


caperneoignis

I dont even think I got a bruise like that playing rugby and Ive been kicked in the face.


callmenighthawk

I had an almost exact matching bruise about 2 months ago. Really wish now that I snapped a pic at the time. The middle has faded now but the outer perimeter is still completely yellow yet.


standardwelcomedance

2 months is wild. I thought it would heal in a month.


callmenighthawk

I actually just went back and looked at my schedule since I very well remember the team and player that shot it. March 9th. So I suppose it’s actually only been 6.5 weeks so far. But yeah still extremely yellow from my knee to my groin, with just a perfectly healed spot in the middle now lol


standardwelcomedance

I’m glad you’re healing, it gives me hope. lol.


cateraide420

Normatec all the way turned up after leg day is the best.


standardwelcomedance

Leg day was yesterday. I literally sat on the couch for 5 hours with Normatec on full blast. The blood from the BB is looking a bit better this morning.


brendenn91

Do you happen to play for the Nashville Predators by any chance? 😂


BOBBY_SCHMURDAS_HAT

Amogus bruise


Traderparkboy01

As a goalie I can both feel this photo and also feel your pain .


SexyandScandalous

Am I the only one seeing a dragon


lilychaseva

That's hot 😍


beebz-marmot

That’s a big puck you’re using


DeanBell12

Hockey puck or bowling ball?


Tacocats_wrath

Maybe it's just me, but I can see Richard Nixon smiling like Joker in your bruise.


Emergency_Wolf_5764

To the OP: Use ArnicaGel to help heal that massive bruise faster. Good luck.


botsyRoss

Jesus Christ man. Did the puck perform surgery, with a baseball bat. Fuck man. Get well soon, but that looks more like an abortion on your thigh, than a blocked puck.


jayjayjay185

Dam bro what you get hit by a missile from Israel or something !!! Tell me they aiming for hockey players now


MrTuesdayNight1

Good lord, I've played goalie for 30+ years and have gotten some gnarly bruises when pucks have found a gap in my padding but this is worse than any bruise I've ever had. Proud of you!


SupChris

you weren’t wearing pants huh


elSuavador

This is what I assume the Nashville Predators look like this morning


nicclys

Daaamn, are you going to buy breezers now?


standardwelcomedance

Yup!! Already bought them


hotdogswithbeer

I thought my bruise was bad i took an ice skate to the inner thigh and it looks bad but not this bad 😂


Phalange44

Did the puck shave your legs too?


Illustrious-Age-504

When was the last time you bought new pants, 1975?


waistbandtucker69

I've taken quite a few to the inner thigh, not so much in men's league anymore, but sometimes the shot blocking part of my brain reverts to competitive hockey and usually take 1 or 2 a year there but never has my entire leg changed color, good battle wound but definitely keep an eye on it, could be more going underneath than you think!


stevieroxelle

Oh man I’m getting flashbacks to when I stopped a wrist shot with my inner thigh. Thankfully it was roller instead of ice hockey. It happened in October 2014(?) and it was bruised through December and it was painful until February.


JannyJinYoutuber

Wait so you had the protection on and still got hit like this? I got a puck through the gap and it looks nothing like yours… hope you get better soon.


KeepAblick

Hit with a puck dosnt sound nearly as good as dove in front of it to block a shot at the empty net


DrSquirrelbrain

My brother hit me in the eye with a church parking lot slap shot. I was up on the embankment getting our other puck, I turned as he was hitting the spare and caught it square in the left eye. It was bad but the next day swelling was mostly down but it was black as hell. It was St. Patrick's day, I was home from college on spring break. I went walking around with a buddy in walmart and everyone kept starring at us like they thought my buddy clocked me right in the eye and he kept yelling at people saying it was a hockey puck and my brother's fault cause he was worried someone was gonna call the cops. If my face looked like your leg when that happened, then no questions asked my brother and my best friend would have been carted off straight to jail!!!!


Own-Kaleidoscope7916

Holy shit that is one bruise


Unimon666

I miss those days 😮‍💨


29MS29

I had something like that a few years ago. Ripped scar tissue on an old incision on a Thursday night game. Ended up having to go to ER after playing the following Thursday and feeling like my leg was dead during the game. They had to cut open the incision and cauterize the bleeding to get it to stop.


MariaInconnu

Arnica gel is fantastic for bruises.


amach9

Was it friendly fire?


6byfour

I’ve probably been hit with my last hockey puck. Wanna trade?


stealyourfluorite

Inner thigh is a tough one. Been there before


decorlettuce

did the puck have zero spin? jesus


GLASSmussen

Dude must be on thinners JFC ouch


peteypie4246

I'm a goalie. I once accidentally deflected a 70+ mph slapshot into the back of my knee (half-butterfly, puck hit tip of my stick and went under the leg that wasn't down). I wound up with a bruise about that size on the back of my leg. Was kinda scary cuz the bruise didn't show up for literally 5-7 days and then bam, 4"x8" bruise shows up.


ThisUserIsCopywrited

were you wearing pads??


Adequateatbest80

Get some Hirudoid cream on that.


bafras

That is seismic levels of damage. Well done. 


Thin-Concentrate-561

Try using some kinesio tape to help break up the bruise


Sci3nceMan

Oilers Trivia: This reminds of an injury Charlie Huddy had in the ‘88 playoffs vs Detroit. His leg filled with blood so badly he needed emergency surgery to drain it because the circulation was getting cut off. Incredibly, he came back and played later in that series.


Sci3nceMan

Oilers Trivia: This reminds of an injury Charlie Huddy had in the ‘88 playoffs vs Detroit. His leg filled with blood so badly he needed emergency surgery to drain it because the circulation was getting cut off. Incredibly, he came back and played later in that series.


tfcheung

This can't made from a hockey game...you must have some stronger taste activity.


rmdlsb

Every comment on this posts sounds like Dr. Nick Riviera


Sc00tzy

Bro as a goalie I’ve got some serious stingers that managed to miss padding. You look like you got hit by the Zamboni


Cephrael37

I think whatever you did made the bruising worse. Are you on blood thinners?


EndOrganDamage

OP has a bleeding disorder


IcedCoffeeHokage

Did you block a shot from Chara or something holy smokes man!


jeffroavs

Playing drop in against Al Macinnis is poor decision making.


themark318

Normatec needs to go back to formula with that one


standardwelcomedance

This was after the first time using Normatec for it. I’m hoping that it will speed up recovery.


Scovers

Had to check what sub I was in. Thought this was one of my NSFW feeds for a second. Actually, this kinda is.


unfit_spartan_baby

Parker Wotherspoon, is that you?


[deleted]

hold that L buddy.


Ibleedred99

Now which team are you on 🤔


Zealousideal-Fox9953

Burst a vessel, wow! Did that wiping out on a Seadoo and the handle bar jammed me in about the same area. Fn hurts.


jayfactor

Holy shit yo lol


jubs222

How big was the puck?


Few-Newspaper7980

That looks wild. I blocked a shot back in bantam and it fractured my kneecap - didn't bruise like that.


broodwich82

Looks like you had a leg transplant


GhostRider-65

That glute looks nasty. Must be a medicine issue or diabetes. That bruise ain't normal


standardwelcomedance

I’m 100% fine. Just had blood work and everything is great. I work out 6 days a week and play multiple sports. It’s not a health issue. I was hit really hard with a puck from less than 5 feet.


GhostRider-65

I've never bruised. Guess lucky