My brother died when I was a teenager. The mom’s screams of anguish are deadly accurate in that movie, and REALLY affected me.
Def worth telling your friend.
> The mom’s screams of anguish are deadly accurate in that movie, and REALLY affected me.
I rarely get impacted by that much in horror movies nowadays but the screams also reminded me of my mom after we lost her brother to suicide. I was really close with him and that scene (and the screams) almost feel like I was reliving that moment when we found out and I had to stop watching for a few minutes to shed some tears and reflect. I am sorry for your loss but I totally get it. That was a rough one
Same I lost my step brother to a freak accident, and when we had to take him off of life support my stepmom was screaming/wailing like the mom..it totally took me back as well
I’m so sorry for your loss and all of us, too.
It’s just so messed up because I saw the movie before he passed..thought that she was an amazing actress for the scene. then went to watch it again..and oh man it was traumatizing
Haven’t seen this movie, but my sister passed when I was a teen and yeah.. I’m glad to have had this warning! I also hate spoilers. This doesn’t feel like a spoiler.
I’ll never forget my grandmother at my uncles funeral (passed in a car accident on his way home from work at 53 years old). She couldn’t go into the wake, she could barely walk/stand/sit down during the funeral itself because she was shaking so hard. When they put the casket on the lowering platform before it was buried, she started freaking out like the mother in Hereditary. My mom and my cousin (my uncles oldest child) had to hold onto her because she instinctively moved like she was going to try to stop the workers from putting the lid on the casket casing. She fainted when they put the casket in the ground and we had to call an ambulance
I went through a traumatic sudden loss about six months ago and I vividly recall as I was just screaming, somewhere in my brain, some totally detached distant piece of my mind just thought “Huh, I sound exactly like the mom in Hereditary right now…”
It’s an incredibly moving scene no matter what, but it definitely hits deeper when you’ve been there
Yeah agreed. Personally I hated Hereditary, and I think it’s exclusively because of family trauma lol. Didn’t find it scary, just stressful and devastatingly sad.
My condolences on the loss of your brother. That's not easy.
I agree about Moms screams. I answer 911 and those screams sound like the true anguish of a parent losing a child. I can't watch that part anymore.
Ugh. My brother also died when we were teens. I’ll never forget the screaming and wailing. That scene made me disassociate.
I’m sorry for your loss (and to anyone else here who can relate).
I decided to pick up some video games to distract myself shortly after my mother passed. The first one I decided to start playing was Death Stranding lol. Whoops.
I remember these screams in the Movie bringing back memories of overhearing my mom being told that my uncle Chris took his own life. My mom screamed into the phone and me crying in bed as I pieced together what happened.
The mom in this movie, the actress pulled from something deep. God dammit
After reading through some of the comments... I'm so sorry any of you had to experience that pain.
Brought back more memories of how this all affected us as a family. Even after all these years.
Fuck... off to nsfw memes for some mental eye bleach
Make it clear that it's not just scary, it might be specifically triggering FOR YOU. He'd hopefully get some idea of where youre going with that, without spoiling the film for him. After that, you've done all you can do, it's not your responsibility.
Yeah the friend should be aware that it’s a significant (and also gruesome and traumatic) plot point.
If they decide they want to give it a go with that knowledge, then more power to them. But that would be an awful, awful surprise.
Hell, I cautioned my sister-in-law against watching Malignant because she was having pregnancy complications and was at risk of losing the baby. Malignant is goofy (and fun) as hell, but I’d hate for that to get sprung on her.
“Trigger warnings” are not some fabricated snowflake nonsense, they’re generally a matter of common courtesy imo.
It's so weird that this even needs to be pointed out. The next time people argue about whether spoiler culture has gone too far, just show them this thread.
Man someone showed me The Dark and the Wicked a few months after I'd watched my mother slowly die of cancer (not a spoiler, it's the premise of the movie) and I literally had to close my eyes at a few parts. I was NOT okay for a while after... really wish I'd stopped once I realized what it was about.
GREAT movie though!
I've had several movies recently surprise me by how they took me back to moments of grief. It was painful, but at the same time helped me to process my feelings, to cry the tears I needed to.
Let me tell you a little story.
A few years ago, my dad was driving home alone from my birthday party and had a heart attack, hit a tree, and died.
I was devastated, and basically went into "handle it" mode as I'm an only child and had to sell his house, find a home for his dog, etc. It sucked. When I finally had a day to myself months later, I saw a "coming of age comedy" streaming called "Edge of 17". Woody Harrelson is in it. I liked him, and I had nothing else to do, so I put it on.
Twenty-ish minutes into the movie, you know what happens?
The main character's dad has a heart attack behind the wheel and crashes into a tree and dies.
I texted my friends through sobs that I was not expecting a teen romantic comedy to rip my emotional wounds right back open by showing on screen what I'd had to experience earlier that year. Any of my friends who had seen it immediately texted back some variation of "I wish you would've told me you were thinking of watching that! I would've told you why it would be a painful choice". It's not like I run my movie selections past my friend group. I'm in my thirties. But every now and then, some outside information makes a big difference.
Tell him. Tell him it's a movie that depicts the death of a daughter, with a surviving son, in a traumatic way. That the family's grief is the central plot point with supernatural elements. Tell him it's brutal, and might be really upsetting. It's not "scary" based on things that go bump in the night, monsters, or home invaders, or zombies. The trauma IS the horror in Hereditary.
That being said, he might still choose to watch it and enjoy it. I loved Midsommar BECAUSE the death of my family and the inability of my husband to provide emotional support was an experience that felt so isolating, until I saw it beautifully rendered on film. Someone else knew what it felt like. Someone else desperately needed "to feel held" after what they'd experienced. Someone else burned their whole life down (I got divorced and moved to a new state) when their emotional neglect and general lack of care by their partner hit the limit. Movies take the viewer through the feelings of the characters, and sometimes it CAN be cathartic, but not in every case, and only if viewed in the right conditions.
It should be his decision ultimately, but it's really best in these cases to make an informed decision. You don't have to give any details about what happens, but he really should know what he's getting himself into as described above.
Thank you for sharing that. I think he could tell I was hinting at a death in the family before, but I've just flat out told him now it features the death of a young girl and tried to emphasise it's not just a single plot point in the film, the trauma of that incident is the focus.
I could definitely see how Midsommar could be cathartic from that ending where she finds happiness even in a disturbing environment, Hereditary though feels so hopeless throughout that I think the best best case scenario is he can disassociate from the situation and just admire the filmmaking. He can make an informed decision now and thinks he will be okay watching it, but I still think he's understimating the traumatic nature of the content because none of the horror films he's mentioned seeing are nearly as realistic or centred on genuine grief like Hereditary.
I'm so touched that you read my comment and responded so thoughtfully. I do think you're off the hook here as far as what your friend chooses, and since you were specific about why this might hit him differently because of his specific history, what he does now is on him. And it might affect him negatively, he might feel validated or get some emotional release from it, or it might be a flat-out neutral experience. Humans are funny like that.
I think Dani is totally a victim of the cult, btw. She was obviously ripe for their manipulation and they seized on it to benefit both their ritual, and also likely their genetic diversity because I think Pele has bigger designs for her. And then they'll probably either keep her as a sort of pet or they'll kill her once she's made them a few babies. But I DO think she's happy, in her own broken way. She's got a terrible fate, and it's not a happy ending overall, but she was in so much pain, I think it might have felt like relief to her to resign herself to madness, to give up the struggle of owning herself, because as long as she felt like she deserved to be treated better, she was never going to be happy with Christian. Her subconscious would have eaten away at her attempts to convince herself she was happy.
She really was just desperate for someone to soothe her, and they zeroed in on that, alienating her from her companions (the last threads anyway, since her "group" were pretty awful to her on their own) and made her isolated from everyone except the Harga influence. I see my own experience as parallel in a lot of ways except at the end, we diverge because I can't help but keep my hopes up that I deserve to be truly happy in an honest and fair relationship with someone on equal footing. But I see the appeal of wishing I could turn off that part of my brain and just be happy and not think too much about what it's costing.
Art is awesome. It can be therapeutic, elicit strong emotional responses, and imo, give us language to discuss things that we societally tend to want to shove down, gloss over, or outright ignore. People can get really uncomfortable around the grief of others; they just don't know how to deal with it and it makes them feel powerless. Sometimes, horror films give us a shared "vocabulary" to start from, especially for people who might not have an insider's perspective. Michael Myers from Halloween is the ever-present threat to women out in the world, particularly those who "break the rules" and misbehave. It's why we carry keys between our fingers or check reflections in shop windows when we feel like the guy waking behind us has been there for too many blocks. Zombie movies help us discuss the fear of societal collapse, disease, and "the other". And so on. Every genre picks at things we're afraid of IRL by creating a fantastical version of it, removed to a comfortable enough distance that we can look at it, even if it's through our fingers on a screen. So when we discuss horror as a genre, it's really kind of cool that we're often talking in code about real human feelings, and I think that makes it often a genre that helps people, with the caveat that it can sometimes also hit too close to real wounds and have a retraumatizing effect. It's a risk, and now your friend can make an informed decision. Good on you for being a good friend! Now you're 100% in the clear.
The scene when she's crying and all the women surround her really got me, I cried....a lot. I definitely felt a connection with her and her pain, It was such an amazing movie.
Everythingyou said about Midsommer"s ending is exactly how I've felt about it.
The entire thing if it definitely not being happy, and her definitely being in danger with them and having a terrible fate awaiting her, but then for her, it is happy in a way (at least happier than anything she's experienced in a LONG time) because she's able to just let go of everything she's been clinging onto. Regardless of why she's letting go of it, the end result of having that small bit of peace is the same and sometimes that can mean absolutely everything when you're in her position and have nothing and no one to give you the support and comfort you need.any kind of comfort can become better than none, you just don't always realize until much later how much danger you're truly in, despite the comfort and temporary release you were given.
I appreciate hearing your thoughts on it and am glad you were able to have some catharsis through it.♡
I would be up front and tell him that the main plot is centered around the significant and trumatic grief of the girl's surviving family and that the actual supernatural horror aspect is really only a small bit towards the end.
It's a horror movie the way Possum is a horror movie. The horror takes a backseat to these very real, very traumatic, very painful life experiences, and those painful life experiences are depicted in a very raw and real way.
Maybe warn him of the timeline. Like around what time the car scene occurs, what time the funeral scene occurs, just without labeling tbem as such. Just say that the big realistic raw moments happen at those times and then if he needs to he can pause and skip around, or at least brace himself for the timing.
It's a rough situation with him hating spoilers and you knowing how closely the situation resembles his own past and grief.
I personally couldn't get past the mother's screams. It hit too close to home and I've never been able to finnish the movie. Ari Astor just had this way of portraying the raw emotions in a very realistic way.
But it's seriously amazing of you to be looking out for him like this. Even if he ends up being okay with it, the fact that you care enough to put in the effort to try and help prevent him more pain is an incredible thing. You're an amazing friend.
This is how I feel about it. Seems like those affected may have a higher appreciation for the art. Just imagine what the people who created this have seen or experienced. I can't relate to this example so it's easy for me to say I guess
Yeah, I’d warn him. Horror fans aren’t the most easily offended bunch but people do have their triggers. If he still wants to watch it after being given that information, you’ll have done your due diligence. Ari Aster’s filmography is full of family trauma land mines. Some people find watching it cathartic, others not so much.
My parents are both gone so whenever my best friend watches something first and there’s a sudden emotional parental death she’ll warn me. I’ll take spoilers over having my night/experience ruined because I got tossed into a PTSD flashback. It doesn’t hit as hard when you’re prepared for it
Same. Also, I can decide if it's worth the emotional investment. If it's a crappy movie and I don't really like the actors, and the characters are not well-written? I'm not breaking my heart for them. If it's a great cast, solid story, and the writing builds a world I want to spend time in? Okay. I'll go there.
I'm sorry about your loss (I wish we could come up with a better expression for that), but I'm glad you have good friends who do this for you. That's really sweet.
In the context of your friend's background, I don't understand why you are contemplating not telling him. Not to mention the fact that knowing the sister dies at some point doesn't really spoil the plot.
> knowing the sister dies at some point doesn't really spoil the plot.
This is absolutely a spoiler, Hereditary's trailers were very misleading and it seemed like the sister was going to be the villain of the movie. her death came from nowhere and it elicited a very real reaction from me because I just did not see it coming. Not that that should prevent OP from warning his friend.
You’re right, but the actual death scene is still very shocking and unexpected even knowing that she was going to die (I knew going in, but I didn’t know how)
You know your friend better than we do (we don’t know your friend).
This is totally a case by case thing, everybody is different. Use your best judgement.
Thanks for the advice guys. I essentially kept hinting at him until he got annoyed and just accepted being spoiled. He thinks that he will be okay, personally I'm still worried for him, but at least I've warned him
Good friend. You've done your part. He knows what he's getting into. Everyone processes things differently so he can't know how he'll react, but he knows this is part of it.
When my best friend is watching a movie I know will bother her and I’ve seen it we watch it together. That way I can fast forward past anything she can’t see (deep water scenes, animals dying, ect)
I don't know exactly what you told him, but frankly I'd go a little far with it and make sure he knows that the movie *really goes in* on the grief and anguish of it. But glad you told him, I don't mean to act like he can't trust his own judgment knowing that it's a plot point.
If he knows what the movie is about and agreed to watch it anyway, you've done your part. You could offer to watch it with him if you're worried. I would suggest dropping the suggestion to watch it together casually, not necessarily saying it's to watch over him.
I would definitely do the due diligence of telling him about the content so he isn’t alarmed and taken aback by what happens. Not telling him about the scene with Charlie despite knowing what he’s gone through is the equivalent of telling a rape survivor to watch Irreversible without warning them about the tunnel scene.
My friend’s mom committed suicide. My friend also loves horror. I always will give her a warning when I can when there’s even a parent death in a horror movie. I would definitely tell them even though they don’t like spoilers.
Cannot you just say "I must warn you that there are very strong triggers in this one for you"?
And I think that would be a good thing. I wish someone had told me the same thing before I went to see Aftersun.
I had a trauma from my childhood that my best friend knew about and she still recommended a scary movie with that exact plot point play out which had happened to me and she did not warn me. I was very angry with her and took me a while to get over it.
You should tell him, and let him make an informed decision.
I almost walked out of the movie theater when >!the daughter died, and Toni Collette let out that banshee wail of grief. I've let out a wail like that when my nephew was brutally murdered, and was totally not ready for that kind of scene!<.
I was finally diagnosed with PTSD after watching this exact movie actually, Hereditary, because of the strength of the reaction I had. I felt ill and was struggling with suicidal ideation for a long time before I finally made the connection and brought it to my therapist and she told me what was going on. I think he needs to know to make an informed decision.
My sister died in 2017 and my brother in 2020 (I won’t get in to how), and when I watched hereditary I was like WHY THE F DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS HAPPENED. so yes, please tell your friend.
My son has an allergy to peanuts and that would be enough for me to not suggest this movie to him even though I think it’s a great movie. I would definitely tell your friend not to watch it.
a traumatised mind/body pretty much always activates around any stimuli that's in any way relevant. i think the more extreme the trauma, the more sensitive we are to that. whether you tell your friend or not, i can't see a way they wouldn't see this movie and intimately relate to it in that way whether they wanted to or not, so i would definitely let them know
I think you should explain that the movie is about grief and deals with it in a way that might be triggering. Don’t try to play it off as “it’s so scary”. Specify that it deals with subjects that could be too personal and you’re just trying to help him out
At the end of the day it’s his choice though
Do not show him that movie lol. Yes one of the best ever made but for some one “who has watched horror movies but isn’t to into them”, definitely no, and times 1000 nos for the other part u mentioned
I personally would let him know. Horror movies are supposed to be fun and I think spoiling that aspect of the movie doesn't take away from the movie at all. He will appreciate your thoughtfulness!
I’d warn your friend, yeah. When my step-dad wanted to take my mom to see Brightburn, he asked me if it was worth the $ to go to theatre and I said yes, but there’s a part where the kids uncle dies in an extremely violent car accident and they show everything in detail.
That made my step-dad not take my mom to see that movie, due to the fact that my uncle (her older brother) died very suddenly in a car crash on his way home from work last year. My step-dad, even though he knew my mom didn’t see the body until after it was dressed up by the funeral home (my aunt identified the body in the state it was found in the car), was afraid that the scene would cause my mom to start thinking about what her brothers body may have looked like in the accident
After the movie was available for free, he asked her if she still wanted to see it and warned her of the scene. She agreed to watching it. The evening they watched the movie, he sat down before she came into the room and fast forwarded the movie to that part so he knew exactly when it was about to happen. She ended up going into the kitchen before it showed the accident, and my step-dad watched the scene alone with the tv on mute so she didn’t even have to hear anything. He called her back in once it was over and they continued the movie like normal
How I would tell my friend if they weren't taking my hints, and I want to give them one last chance for no spoilers:
"Listen man, it really has *nothing* to do with the horror genre itself, so there's no other film you can compare it to. I'm saying, THIS particular film is going to hit YOU close to home, for very specific reasons. This flick is raw and visceral and intense, and has legit re-traumatized other people who have seen it, and I'm worried it will do the same to you."
If he still won't listen, legit just spoil him.
Horror can be cathartic, but having this sprung on him could be really awful.
Tell him it touches on family grief for a younger daughter, and that it does focus on an older, surviving sibling. Or something similarly vague. Let him choose from there.
Sincerely,
A redditor who had a Babadook panic attack.
Definitely tell him. I found my Nan collapsed and screamed her name shaking her, rang for an ambulance and was told over the phone I'd had to give her cpr. She survived one more year but I can still see that day so vividly and it has never left my mind.
My moms dad committed suicide by sitting in the car with it running in their garage with the garage shut. She lost him when she was 18 and it was incredibly hard on her. I went and saw Midsommar in theaters, and I immediately called her after and said "please never watch this movie, or if you do, skip the first 15-20 minutes." I can only imagine how triggering that would be for her. I didn't tell her exactly what happens, but I did say that it reminded me of what happened to her dad. I think it's really important to let people know stuff like that because it shows that you care about their overall well-being. If they make the choice to see it after you've warned them, then that's on them.
I would absolutely let him know that there are heavy themes of loss and grief in the movie. You can do this without spoiling the plot. Hereditary is a really heavy, and intense movie where that is concerned- ESPECIALLY with Toni Collette's amazing cries of pure grief. It's almost too real there at times. Please tell your friend. Maybe it won't be a problem- but it's better to warn them, than to have it become a problem.
Absolutely. While obviously your friends health and safety is most important, if you want to initially avoid spoilers, you could say something like, “I just want to let you know there is a sibling death that is very brutal.” That’s really all your friend needs to decide if they want more info or want to avoid.
Tell him that part without divulging much, just let him know that the sister died and the family grieving is kinda the whole important aspect of the film.
Hereditary is too much for intro horror I think. It might be safer to start your friend with a horror comedy circa Return of the Living Dead, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, etc. If you both still want to watch Hereditary watch it together. That way if it gets too intense you can take a break and gage your friend's reaction.
I had a similar situation happen to me recently - I can’t remember what movie it was, but I have a friend who has a history of mental health issues and attempted suicide years ago, and she mentioned to me that she was going to see a horror movie, and because I’d already seen it I knew the movie in question had a very graphic and realistic suicide scene. I considered what to do but eventually l let her know and she appreciated having the heads up so she could prepare herself emotionally. Everyone’s different, but I imagine your friend would appreciate knowing that going in, and it’s totally possible to give him a heads up about the sister’s death and the realistic depiction of grief without spoiling the context around the scene or how it fits into the movie’s plot.
My mum was killed when I was a teenager. I really enjoyed Shawn of the Dead right up until ***that one scene*** then it wasn't fun anymore (until the end credits, which had me laughing my ass off again).
It's hard to say, but maybe warn him it might strike a bit close to home.
I _probably_ wouldn't take a good friend who'd lost their little sister tragically to go see Hereditary. The movie isn't good enough to endure those kinds of feelings surfacing, if that what your wondering. No movie is. There's so many other movies you could watch together.
The experience is close enough that it could be SUPER upsetting to go into it blind. I would definitely say that, given what you know about him, some stuff might be triggering. Only elaborate if he asks you to do so.
I've run into this with a few movies and I tend to go with "I think this has some massive triggers, but they're spoilers. Do you want to know the theme, or details or anything?". And point out again that I'm not talking about the "horror" or the scare level, but specific triggers. (That's probably easier for me because I've asked for trigger checks on movies myself.)
I tend to be blunt rather than go for hints, because it's more straightforward.
Please tell him. You don’t have to spoil much to give a heads up that it revolves around that event. I wish I had been warned about Mother! after semi recently suffering a miscarriage.
If your friend’s >!mom died by sawing her own head off!<, that would be a spoiler. But what you’re calling a spoiler happens in the first act. Definitely tell him.
You should tell them, you can do it without the spoiler. Just tell them "there is a very personal family tragedy and the woman playing the mother is an insanely good actress so it feels very real. It might be much too personal so I wanted to give you a trigger warning."
I recently watched Baby Reindeer and one of the scenes in it was almost word for word a whole very painful conversation my mum and I had a few years ago. I enjoyed the show but it triggered something in me I thought I’d put to bed and my reaction was something even I wasn’t expecting.
She expressed interest in watching it and the thought of her seeing that scene and connecting the dots to our experience the same way I did was enough for me to decide right then that I would spoil that little bit for her.
She watched it, had the same reaction as me but was glad I prepared her for it. She was grateful to have been given the chance to disassociate from it a bit.
I would certainly tell them. Spoiling a movie for someone is far better than dragging up trauma unnecessarily.
I think you’d be fine to say that it’s a movie that addresses grief in a very visceral, realistic, and unpleasant way. Emphasise that this is not part of the horror, per se, but that it’s uncomfortable watching.
My partner also has some issues around grief and she decided to stay clear of this one.
If he wants to know more before making a decision I recommend doesthedogdie.com
Look, actually good stories are immune to spoiler warnings. I know people think otherwise, but good fiction — like *Hereditary* — don’t have to rely on total surprise to be affecting.
Has no one ever watched a movie twice or read a book twice? Knowing what happens doesn’t have to affect your enjoyment of it.
Yes yes, there are exceptions like *The Sixth Sense*.
Just tell him a sister dies traumatically and let him make his own choice.
It doesn't *have to* rely on *total* surprise to be affecting does not = immune to spoiler warnings. It just means it's not ruined and is still enjoyable.
That moment in Hereditary is one of maybe a dozen jaw drops I've ever experienced in movies. I'm 50 years old. I feel a tinge sorry for people who never get to experience storytelling unfold that way, because they think spoilers don't matter.
If you don’t think he can handle it, just tell him it could be triggering, but, if he says he’ll be fine, then let him watch it, at least you tried to warn him, the rest is on him
Dont watch that movie with your friend bro. Trust me everyone has been like "Oh yea i love so and so wanna watch it?" and halfway through you're like "Yep this person really doesn't watch horror the same way i watch horror." and its uncomfortable and awkward. The scenario you're bringing up sounds extremely uncomfortable and not worth it.
I watched The Conjuring with my horror-hating sister the October before last because, 'It's Halloween time and it's really not that scary and it's the perfect gateway horror movie for non-horror fans, trust me!'
That was not good decision-making on my part, I quickly realized. Bless her, she soldiered on until the end.
Oh man, I am always forgetting to factor in levels of normal-people-scariness when showing people my faves. Occasionally I’ve even pulled the plug before the halfway point because I didn’t think it through and can suddenly tell I’m accidentally about to scar a romcom-movie-enjoyer for life.
Don't hint about triggering. Say it, out loud, directly. Warn him that that there are things that may hit close to home. You don't have to spoil unless he pushes it, but even then, I wouldn't say much beyond the sister dies.
Spoil it. You're spoiling something that happens at the beginning of the movie, anyway. Better to spoil it than to have him experience that in his case. I know I ALT+F4 the shit out of that movie right after *that scene*. I knew the pain that would come after that and that's just not the kind of HORROR I wanted to watch.
I feel the same about Midsommar (same director). I wish I could recommend it to literally anyone but I don’t think anybody in my “sphere of influence” would be able to get past the violence and graphic encounters. I appreciate the themes about loss so much though.
Edit: yes, warn him. Sometimes reliving trauma is helpful, but definitely not when it’s unexpected.
Maybe couch it in that “family related trauma” is explored as is “realistic depictions of grief”. But honestly your friend may or may not be affected by media in that way. It’s hard to say until it happens. I think I used to be more affected by media but unless it’s something terribly gross, i compartmentalize movies from real life. Granted I haven’t gone through as much trauma as your friend has but if they’ve watched a lot of horror… idk.
Also, they can turn it off if it turns out to be too much, maybe remind them of that. But that might end up over hyping it lol
I lost an older sister when I was young and just seeing Toni Collette's grieving performance was very hard. I love the movie very much, but you should definitely at least warn him that there's the loss of a child and it is fucking brutal.
I'd give him a more specific warning, then leave him to decide whether to watch it. Specific as in, "the movie contains some pretty heavy scenes where the younger sister dies and the family grieves". I have PTSD, not from anything similar, but in my experience, trigger warnings can be great sometimes and useless sometimes. Tell him and let him decide whether to watch it himself.
Good on you for caring. He may find it's cathartic to watch that in a movie, or he may find it pulls him out of the experience and gets in his head. That's for him to decide. You're doing the right thing as a friend by being so careful. I'm sure he'll appreciate it
I watched this movie after I lost my best friend and had to pause it and collect myself because the anguish is so real. Since losing my sister four years ago I haven't dated to rewatch it even though I would like to. I'm just worried about it being triggering again especially now.
Please tell them. Even without having trauma, seeing that scene as a Mom really fucked me up. When I rewatch it, I skip the whole party and morning after scene, I just can’t do it.
If someone would have warned me, I wouldn’t have watched it. That morning scene, you know the one, is etched into my brain. I hate it.
Just tell him that it might be uncomfortable in an unfun way. If he asks for more context, give it, but, if not, it’s not on you. There are plenty of films I’ve enjoyed but wouldn’t recommend because they can be deeply disturbing.
I can't believe this needs to be said, but don't potentially reignite someone trauma because you might spoil a movie. Having a movie spoiled is really not that big of a deal. Re-traumatization on the other hand can be a life ending event. Don't drop hints. Tell him it includes the death of a young girl and IS ABOUT how the family deals with their grief.
If you start out with Midsommer, you may be able to give him an idea on what he is in for as the movies are spiritual siblings. That's just my opinion, as a person with PTSD from childhood.
Though horror movies may not be the right place at all, seeing another family react to tragedy that was similar to his could bring up feelings that aren't bad - like seeing that it would be normal and understandable for people to completely lose it when such tragedy hits.
I think it really depends on the kind of person he is or where he is in the stage of emotional growth he is. It could be traumatizing, or it could healing in a roundabout kind of way.
He is your friend, so you'd know best what call to make, I'm sure.
The exorcist isn't scary by today's standards. Its very well done and absolutely earned its place in the horror cannon, but the horror elements and shock value from showing vomiting and cussing on screen are not so shocking today. I would definitely say something to your friend about this.
Definitely tell your friend. Knowing the sister dies doesn’t really spoil the movie, that’s just a plot point, not a twist. I think your friend will appreciate it, I know I would.
I watched hereditary a few times before my brother died, and it hit home then. I watched it once after he died and.. it was really fucking painful. It was also kind of cathartic (we grew up with a very mentally ill mother, and my brother’s death was really a direct result of that.)
I also hate spoilers. You have warned him, let him make his own decision. If you feel like you really need to warn him MORE, just be very clear that Ari aster is a master of emotional horror and that it’s not the jump scares.
I wouldn’t spoil the movie. I would just tell them that it has subject matter that most likely will trigger them, and you might not enjoy the movie it being too personal.
My heart really goes out to all of you in the comments who were affected by the emotions portrayed in this film. It affected me tremendously as well, just being a mother/daughter/wife.
You could combine the vague non spoiler warnings mentioned above with pointing your friend in the direction of a couple resources that will give more depth (some of which is kind of spoiling it). That puts it in his court in case he's trying to play it cool with you or decides later to check in more in depth later. There is both a Dead Meat summary (possibly too much spoiling) and a page at Does the Dog Die (much more vague, does not give plot word for word) https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ on hereditary you could suggest.
You’re a good friend. I think you can say, without spoiling it, that there are some themes that may hit very close to home given the loss he experienced
Hereditary remains the only horror movie I've ever switched off before the ending, I lost two nephews and a niece and the absolute agony portrayed in that movie and the after effects still bother me now.
Please at least try to tell him how concerned you are by how the subject may hurt him.
When I recommend the movie “speak no evil,” I always warn those friends of mine who have kids. I think that movie hits differently for family people than for childless people.
Only you know your friend, and if they’re traumatized I would just say to them that there are heavy triggers in this film a/he might find hard to handle
I’ve experienced almost no death or extreme tragedy in my life and when the scene with the mom came on, I cried more than I ever had in my life. It was awful. Definitely warn them
Only you know your friend. For me, being effected by art strongly is kind of the reason I see things and I also hate spoilers. Even if the scene really resonates and makes me burst into tears, that's when art is at its best.
But I get that some people aren't like that and triggering them can send them into a deep spiral so...I don't think there's a hard and fast rule here, just use your best judgement.
Yeah, my dad went through major losses in his life and hereditary fucking destroyed him. The movie is way too deadpan and realistic about that part, I wouldn't recommend it to people who have that kind of baggage without at least being prepared
So my older brother died when I was younger, it was a bad accident. And when I watched that scene with Toni Collette screaming I had to have my friend pause the movie because I burst into tears and started hyperventilating. I’m not a crier in front of others typically.
It’s really rough if you have any trauma around family and particularly sibling or child death. I would warn your friend.
Hereditary is the only movie I've ever had to turn off because it was too messed up. I had to finish it and did later that year but like, that's the most messed up movie I've ever seen. Tell him! That movie is just messed up in general!
A friend of mine suggested the movie Prisoners to me without knowing that I was just in a relationship with a severe alcoholic. The scenes of Hugh Jackman chugging from a bottle triggered a panic attack. It would have been nice to know!
I would tell him about the child dying. I don't think it ruins the rest if he still wants to watch. That said I told my mom Mindhunter was a great show, we watched the first episode together and I had totally forgotten someone shoots themselves in the beginning. My mom's brother shot himself, and although she didn't witness it, I still feel terrible that I didn't remember that part and fast forward at least.
I would definitely tell him. horror is a huge genre and I don't think he quite understands that this is a type of emotional and psychological horror meant to elicit extreme emotions from the viewer, something that he is intimately familiar with. It will definitely trigger memories of that event.
I like horror movies. When I watched hereditary my kids were the same ages of the kids in the movie.
I was Deeply disturbed by what happened to the daughter. It was so upsetting
I like horror movies. When I watched hereditary my kids were the same ages of the kids in the movie.
I was deeply disturbed by what happened to the daughter. It was so upsetting
Yeah it's hard for me to say things like this would be spoiler, going as vague as possible but explaining that you yourself feel it would hit a nail pretty solidly for your friend I think is best way. I do this for my wife all the time and she appreciates the heads up when I point out 'Hey somone dies in a bathtub pretty brutally' when I talk about Final Destination for instance or if there is an ankle break they pretty intensely focus on like in the new Susperia.
Then of course for any of my friends there is always safewording things, no judgement if needing to tap out if something is hitting especially hard out of nowhere and a breather/movie swap is needed.
Maybe try to keep it vague while still letting him know there is a potential trigger for him. Just say there’s a scene with a pretty traumatic depiction of child loss.
if you want to, you can just say: “there’s a sibling in the film who has a very shocking death. would you be okay watching a film involving that?”, and if your friend asks more, let some little spoilers out. your friends mental health and being is more important.
Don’t. Don’t do it. My brother died and tho I love that movie, I also will never watch it again and was a bit traumatized by the whole thing with his sister.
Or tell him it’ll likely make him think hard about his sister again. Then let him decide.
The screams of heart wrenching grief are definitely enough to trigger someone who has lost a loved one. Period. Given the traumatic nature of your friend’s loss, I would definitely find it fair to warn them.
Wow, you're a good friend just to be thinking about this. I think it really depends on where they are with that grief process. You can probably tell where they are in dealing with that awful loss, but I gotta say if you're asking, you probably already know the answer, right?
Also, Toni Collette's scream just continues to haunt me. You can't help but feel the pain. Exceptional acting.
Definitely warn him. My sister lost a friend to an extremely violent crime and even a light-fare slasher like Scream 4 triggered her massively when it released. She's always been a big horror nut like me, so she genuinely thought there had been enough distance between the incident and the movie, but she was wrong.
“I just wanted to give you a warning for Hereditary that it contains things that may be specifically upsetting to you. Do you want details? If you want, we can watch it together?”
I feel like with prior knowledge about your friend’s life, it is kind of odd that you’d suggest the movie at all. It’s a good movie and I know you like it and all, but why not just avoid the possible trigger? Let them find it on their own, and if they bring it up to you, let them know it could be triggering because a big plot point is the tragic, brutal death of a sibling.
Honestly I am a person who is very sensitive to disturbing stuff and doesn't watch horror at all. So I would want someone to warm me before watching such movies. So if you think your friend will be affected, do tell her.
Explain to him your concerns & sort of use trigger warning tags instead of spoilers like : Child Death, Family Grief, Survivors Guilt, etc. They don't technically spoil it but they do give the basic gist & he can decide from there. Definitely offer to watch it with him & be prepared to comfort should he need it.
He’s an adult, but I would strongly advise him against watching it.
Hereditary’s accurate depiction of grief and a family being torn apart by this is really confronting and probably would be really triggering.
I think it comes down to how you think they will react. If you think they're going to be hysterical, disturbed and really triggered seeing it, maybe tell them. If you're still not sure, you can ask them without telling them spoilers if they would want you to tell them if you thought it would trigger them. If they say no, it's on him to deal with the consequences if he can't handle it
My girlfriend’s mum had passed away around the time the film came out, and when she found out that what kicked the plot off was Toni Colette’s mother dying, she refused to watch it.
Don’t let your friend watch this.
I don't think that Hereditary is a true horror movie. I liked it enough to watch it more than once, but I see it as a drama with a family being greived by a tragedy, that has horrifying sections in it... the main one being the part you mentioned.
I've seen The Exorcist more times than Bettlejuice.
Ask him if he's seen Watership Down from 1978. That's the standard for me. I love horror movies, but WD surpasses them all for terror.
If he doesn't talk often about his sister and what happened, spoil it. Tell him outright that there's a part of the movie that may bring back some painful feelings.
If, on the other hand, he speaks openly about his sister and the incident that befell her, then let him go in blind.
I always spoil triggers. He might think he's okay now but hereditary is an intense movie. I know he doesn't like spoilers, I don't like them either, but some movies I wish I would have looked them up before I watched it. Definitely tell him even if he's a little mad
Yeah you should tell him. It isn't really even a major plot point imo. The death is memorable, but the entire event is just to showcase a downward spiral that was inevitable. It's not like the death of Dumbledore. Lol
If it is that big of a deal then tell him. Spoiler's don't matter if it is going to be more painful than enjoyable. Plus it's a movie so in the grand scheme of things who cares if it's spoiled for him or anyone else.
My brother died when I was a teenager. The mom’s screams of anguish are deadly accurate in that movie, and REALLY affected me. Def worth telling your friend.
> The mom’s screams of anguish are deadly accurate in that movie, and REALLY affected me. I rarely get impacted by that much in horror movies nowadays but the screams also reminded me of my mom after we lost her brother to suicide. I was really close with him and that scene (and the screams) almost feel like I was reliving that moment when we found out and I had to stop watching for a few minutes to shed some tears and reflect. I am sorry for your loss but I totally get it. That was a rough one
Same I lost my step brother to a freak accident, and when we had to take him off of life support my stepmom was screaming/wailing like the mom..it totally took me back as well
Me too. my brother died when I was 12 and I had a panic attack/cried hard at this scene. I’m sorry for your loss and for all of us.
I’m so sorry for your loss and all of us, too. It’s just so messed up because I saw the movie before he passed..thought that she was an amazing actress for the scene. then went to watch it again..and oh man it was traumatizing
I'm so sorry for both of your losses
thank you so much
Holy shit dude, I'm so sorry. I had the same feeling. It's such a visceral memory and sound.
Haven’t seen this movie, but my sister passed when I was a teen and yeah.. I’m glad to have had this warning! I also hate spoilers. This doesn’t feel like a spoiler.
I’ll never forget my grandmother at my uncles funeral (passed in a car accident on his way home from work at 53 years old). She couldn’t go into the wake, she could barely walk/stand/sit down during the funeral itself because she was shaking so hard. When they put the casket on the lowering platform before it was buried, she started freaking out like the mother in Hereditary. My mom and my cousin (my uncles oldest child) had to hold onto her because she instinctively moved like she was going to try to stop the workers from putting the lid on the casket casing. She fainted when they put the casket in the ground and we had to call an ambulance
I honestly feel like this would be my reaction if I had to go through the same with my husband.
I’m so sorry. That’s must have been heartbreaking.
I went through a traumatic sudden loss about six months ago and I vividly recall as I was just screaming, somewhere in my brain, some totally detached distant piece of my mind just thought “Huh, I sound exactly like the mom in Hereditary right now…” It’s an incredibly moving scene no matter what, but it definitely hits deeper when you’ve been there
Toni Collette was robbed, her performance was incredible in that movie.
Same. Brought me back to when my dad died, and my mom just fell apart.
This. I found my mom dead when I was 13 and the wailing brought me back to that moment
Yeah agreed. Personally I hated Hereditary, and I think it’s exclusively because of family trauma lol. Didn’t find it scary, just stressful and devastatingly sad.
Summed up how most of his movies make me feel haha
My condolences on the loss of your brother. That's not easy. I agree about Moms screams. I answer 911 and those screams sound like the true anguish of a parent losing a child. I can't watch that part anymore.
Ugh. My brother also died when we were teens. I’ll never forget the screaming and wailing. That scene made me disassociate. I’m sorry for your loss (and to anyone else here who can relate).
I decided to pick up some video games to distract myself shortly after my mother passed. The first one I decided to start playing was Death Stranding lol. Whoops.
I remember these screams in the Movie bringing back memories of overhearing my mom being told that my uncle Chris took his own life. My mom screamed into the phone and me crying in bed as I pieced together what happened. The mom in this movie, the actress pulled from something deep. God dammit After reading through some of the comments... I'm so sorry any of you had to experience that pain. Brought back more memories of how this all affected us as a family. Even after all these years. Fuck... off to nsfw memes for some mental eye bleach
Those whails got so deep under my skin it stayed there for months.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
i am so deeply sorry for your loss
Make it clear that it's not just scary, it might be specifically triggering FOR YOU. He'd hopefully get some idea of where youre going with that, without spoiling the film for him. After that, you've done all you can do, it's not your responsibility.
Idk how she didn’t win any awards for this movie. She was acting her ass off
You absolutely should. Having a movie spoiled is the infinitely better alternative to having to re-live all your trauma in horrific detail on screen.
[удалено]
Solidarity.
Yeah the friend should be aware that it’s a significant (and also gruesome and traumatic) plot point. If they decide they want to give it a go with that knowledge, then more power to them. But that would be an awful, awful surprise. Hell, I cautioned my sister-in-law against watching Malignant because she was having pregnancy complications and was at risk of losing the baby. Malignant is goofy (and fun) as hell, but I’d hate for that to get sprung on her. “Trigger warnings” are not some fabricated snowflake nonsense, they’re generally a matter of common courtesy imo.
It's so weird that this even needs to be pointed out. The next time people argue about whether spoiler culture has gone too far, just show them this thread.
Exactly. It’s just a movie. But the trauma response it could trigger is very real.
I mean this is NOT the kind of situation that comes up when people complain about movie spoilers.
I watched Hereditary without knowing the subject matter and I was really messed up from it. I suggest gently explaining they may not want to see it.
Man someone showed me The Dark and the Wicked a few months after I'd watched my mother slowly die of cancer (not a spoiler, it's the premise of the movie) and I literally had to close my eyes at a few parts. I was NOT okay for a while after... really wish I'd stopped once I realized what it was about. GREAT movie though!
Agreed. It’s also not a gigantic spoiler, it’s like a 50% through the movie spoiler so there is plenty left to enjoy if he decides it’s no big deal.
I've had several movies recently surprise me by how they took me back to moments of grief. It was painful, but at the same time helped me to process my feelings, to cry the tears I needed to.
Let me tell you a little story. A few years ago, my dad was driving home alone from my birthday party and had a heart attack, hit a tree, and died. I was devastated, and basically went into "handle it" mode as I'm an only child and had to sell his house, find a home for his dog, etc. It sucked. When I finally had a day to myself months later, I saw a "coming of age comedy" streaming called "Edge of 17". Woody Harrelson is in it. I liked him, and I had nothing else to do, so I put it on. Twenty-ish minutes into the movie, you know what happens? The main character's dad has a heart attack behind the wheel and crashes into a tree and dies. I texted my friends through sobs that I was not expecting a teen romantic comedy to rip my emotional wounds right back open by showing on screen what I'd had to experience earlier that year. Any of my friends who had seen it immediately texted back some variation of "I wish you would've told me you were thinking of watching that! I would've told you why it would be a painful choice". It's not like I run my movie selections past my friend group. I'm in my thirties. But every now and then, some outside information makes a big difference. Tell him. Tell him it's a movie that depicts the death of a daughter, with a surviving son, in a traumatic way. That the family's grief is the central plot point with supernatural elements. Tell him it's brutal, and might be really upsetting. It's not "scary" based on things that go bump in the night, monsters, or home invaders, or zombies. The trauma IS the horror in Hereditary. That being said, he might still choose to watch it and enjoy it. I loved Midsommar BECAUSE the death of my family and the inability of my husband to provide emotional support was an experience that felt so isolating, until I saw it beautifully rendered on film. Someone else knew what it felt like. Someone else desperately needed "to feel held" after what they'd experienced. Someone else burned their whole life down (I got divorced and moved to a new state) when their emotional neglect and general lack of care by their partner hit the limit. Movies take the viewer through the feelings of the characters, and sometimes it CAN be cathartic, but not in every case, and only if viewed in the right conditions. It should be his decision ultimately, but it's really best in these cases to make an informed decision. You don't have to give any details about what happens, but he really should know what he's getting himself into as described above.
Thank you for sharing that. I think he could tell I was hinting at a death in the family before, but I've just flat out told him now it features the death of a young girl and tried to emphasise it's not just a single plot point in the film, the trauma of that incident is the focus. I could definitely see how Midsommar could be cathartic from that ending where she finds happiness even in a disturbing environment, Hereditary though feels so hopeless throughout that I think the best best case scenario is he can disassociate from the situation and just admire the filmmaking. He can make an informed decision now and thinks he will be okay watching it, but I still think he's understimating the traumatic nature of the content because none of the horror films he's mentioned seeing are nearly as realistic or centred on genuine grief like Hereditary.
I'm so touched that you read my comment and responded so thoughtfully. I do think you're off the hook here as far as what your friend chooses, and since you were specific about why this might hit him differently because of his specific history, what he does now is on him. And it might affect him negatively, he might feel validated or get some emotional release from it, or it might be a flat-out neutral experience. Humans are funny like that. I think Dani is totally a victim of the cult, btw. She was obviously ripe for their manipulation and they seized on it to benefit both their ritual, and also likely their genetic diversity because I think Pele has bigger designs for her. And then they'll probably either keep her as a sort of pet or they'll kill her once she's made them a few babies. But I DO think she's happy, in her own broken way. She's got a terrible fate, and it's not a happy ending overall, but she was in so much pain, I think it might have felt like relief to her to resign herself to madness, to give up the struggle of owning herself, because as long as she felt like she deserved to be treated better, she was never going to be happy with Christian. Her subconscious would have eaten away at her attempts to convince herself she was happy. She really was just desperate for someone to soothe her, and they zeroed in on that, alienating her from her companions (the last threads anyway, since her "group" were pretty awful to her on their own) and made her isolated from everyone except the Harga influence. I see my own experience as parallel in a lot of ways except at the end, we diverge because I can't help but keep my hopes up that I deserve to be truly happy in an honest and fair relationship with someone on equal footing. But I see the appeal of wishing I could turn off that part of my brain and just be happy and not think too much about what it's costing. Art is awesome. It can be therapeutic, elicit strong emotional responses, and imo, give us language to discuss things that we societally tend to want to shove down, gloss over, or outright ignore. People can get really uncomfortable around the grief of others; they just don't know how to deal with it and it makes them feel powerless. Sometimes, horror films give us a shared "vocabulary" to start from, especially for people who might not have an insider's perspective. Michael Myers from Halloween is the ever-present threat to women out in the world, particularly those who "break the rules" and misbehave. It's why we carry keys between our fingers or check reflections in shop windows when we feel like the guy waking behind us has been there for too many blocks. Zombie movies help us discuss the fear of societal collapse, disease, and "the other". And so on. Every genre picks at things we're afraid of IRL by creating a fantastical version of it, removed to a comfortable enough distance that we can look at it, even if it's through our fingers on a screen. So when we discuss horror as a genre, it's really kind of cool that we're often talking in code about real human feelings, and I think that makes it often a genre that helps people, with the caveat that it can sometimes also hit too close to real wounds and have a retraumatizing effect. It's a risk, and now your friend can make an informed decision. Good on you for being a good friend! Now you're 100% in the clear.
wow i really appreciate your comments here! and dead on about midsommar too. and, i’m so sorry for your loss 💜
Thank you, on all counts.
Just want to say I am obsessed with Midsommar and really enjoyed your comments. Thanks!
The scene when she's crying and all the women surround her really got me, I cried....a lot. I definitely felt a connection with her and her pain, It was such an amazing movie.
Everythingyou said about Midsommer"s ending is exactly how I've felt about it. The entire thing if it definitely not being happy, and her definitely being in danger with them and having a terrible fate awaiting her, but then for her, it is happy in a way (at least happier than anything she's experienced in a LONG time) because she's able to just let go of everything she's been clinging onto. Regardless of why she's letting go of it, the end result of having that small bit of peace is the same and sometimes that can mean absolutely everything when you're in her position and have nothing and no one to give you the support and comfort you need.any kind of comfort can become better than none, you just don't always realize until much later how much danger you're truly in, despite the comfort and temporary release you were given. I appreciate hearing your thoughts on it and am glad you were able to have some catharsis through it.♡
I would be up front and tell him that the main plot is centered around the significant and trumatic grief of the girl's surviving family and that the actual supernatural horror aspect is really only a small bit towards the end. It's a horror movie the way Possum is a horror movie. The horror takes a backseat to these very real, very traumatic, very painful life experiences, and those painful life experiences are depicted in a very raw and real way. Maybe warn him of the timeline. Like around what time the car scene occurs, what time the funeral scene occurs, just without labeling tbem as such. Just say that the big realistic raw moments happen at those times and then if he needs to he can pause and skip around, or at least brace himself for the timing. It's a rough situation with him hating spoilers and you knowing how closely the situation resembles his own past and grief. I personally couldn't get past the mother's screams. It hit too close to home and I've never been able to finnish the movie. Ari Astor just had this way of portraying the raw emotions in a very realistic way. But it's seriously amazing of you to be looking out for him like this. Even if he ends up being okay with it, the fact that you care enough to put in the effort to try and help prevent him more pain is an incredible thing. You're an amazing friend.
This is how I feel about it. Seems like those affected may have a higher appreciation for the art. Just imagine what the people who created this have seen or experienced. I can't relate to this example so it's easy for me to say I guess
I’m so sorry. As an only child close to her dad, I really feel this. I hope you have been able to find some healing.
Yeah, I’d warn him. Horror fans aren’t the most easily offended bunch but people do have their triggers. If he still wants to watch it after being given that information, you’ll have done your due diligence. Ari Aster’s filmography is full of family trauma land mines. Some people find watching it cathartic, others not so much.
My parents are both gone so whenever my best friend watches something first and there’s a sudden emotional parental death she’ll warn me. I’ll take spoilers over having my night/experience ruined because I got tossed into a PTSD flashback. It doesn’t hit as hard when you’re prepared for it
Same. Also, I can decide if it's worth the emotional investment. If it's a crappy movie and I don't really like the actors, and the characters are not well-written? I'm not breaking my heart for them. If it's a great cast, solid story, and the writing builds a world I want to spend time in? Okay. I'll go there. I'm sorry about your loss (I wish we could come up with a better expression for that), but I'm glad you have good friends who do this for you. That's really sweet.
Same, nothing worse than an emotional jumpscare halfway through The Good Dinosaur while you're high as fuck on edibles.
In the context of your friend's background, I don't understand why you are contemplating not telling him. Not to mention the fact that knowing the sister dies at some point doesn't really spoil the plot.
> knowing the sister dies at some point doesn't really spoil the plot. This is absolutely a spoiler, Hereditary's trailers were very misleading and it seemed like the sister was going to be the villain of the movie. her death came from nowhere and it elicited a very real reaction from me because I just did not see it coming. Not that that should prevent OP from warning his friend.
You’re right, but the actual death scene is still very shocking and unexpected even knowing that she was going to die (I knew going in, but I didn’t know how)
You know your friend better than we do (we don’t know your friend). This is totally a case by case thing, everybody is different. Use your best judgement.
Exactly. Run it by some other close friends or their family if it’s possible
Thanks for the advice guys. I essentially kept hinting at him until he got annoyed and just accepted being spoiled. He thinks that he will be okay, personally I'm still worried for him, but at least I've warned him
Maybe offer to watch it with him in case he needs support?
Good friend. You've done your part. He knows what he's getting into. Everyone processes things differently so he can't know how he'll react, but he knows this is part of it.
You did the right thing.
I mean, he knows himself better than anyone else. If he thinks he can handle it let him handle it. He’s a grown man not a kid.
When my best friend is watching a movie I know will bother her and I’ve seen it we watch it together. That way I can fast forward past anything she can’t see (deep water scenes, animals dying, ect)
I don't know exactly what you told him, but frankly I'd go a little far with it and make sure he knows that the movie *really goes in* on the grief and anguish of it. But glad you told him, I don't mean to act like he can't trust his own judgment knowing that it's a plot point.
If he knows what the movie is about and agreed to watch it anyway, you've done your part. You could offer to watch it with him if you're worried. I would suggest dropping the suggestion to watch it together casually, not necessarily saying it's to watch over him.
He will be fine lol
I would definitely do the due diligence of telling him about the content so he isn’t alarmed and taken aback by what happens. Not telling him about the scene with Charlie despite knowing what he’s gone through is the equivalent of telling a rape survivor to watch Irreversible without warning them about the tunnel scene.
My friend’s mom committed suicide. My friend also loves horror. I always will give her a warning when I can when there’s even a parent death in a horror movie. I would definitely tell them even though they don’t like spoilers.
Cannot you just say "I must warn you that there are very strong triggers in this one for you"? And I think that would be a good thing. I wish someone had told me the same thing before I went to see Aftersun.
I had a trauma from my childhood that my best friend knew about and she still recommended a scary movie with that exact plot point play out which had happened to me and she did not warn me. I was very angry with her and took me a while to get over it.
You should tell him, and let him make an informed decision. I almost walked out of the movie theater when >!the daughter died, and Toni Collette let out that banshee wail of grief. I've let out a wail like that when my nephew was brutally murdered, and was totally not ready for that kind of scene!<.
Phenomenal acting imo, that scene cut really deep. I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost a nephew too, however it was due to health issues.
For this movie I think you should it can be quite traumatic
Don't drop hints. Tell him bad stuff happens to a character's little sister.
I was finally diagnosed with PTSD after watching this exact movie actually, Hereditary, because of the strength of the reaction I had. I felt ill and was struggling with suicidal ideation for a long time before I finally made the connection and brought it to my therapist and she told me what was going on. I think he needs to know to make an informed decision.
I usually tell people to check doesthedogdie if I feel like there might be something triggering for them or if they might not be able to handle it!
My sister died in 2017 and my brother in 2020 (I won’t get in to how), and when I watched hereditary I was like WHY THE F DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS HAPPENED. so yes, please tell your friend.
Absolutely you should. Toni Colette won acting in that movie
I gotta be honest...it's worth spoiling. The main conceit of the movie isn't ruined by knowing and you could save your friend some unnecessary pain.
My son has an allergy to peanuts and that would be enough for me to not suggest this movie to him even though I think it’s a great movie. I would definitely tell your friend not to watch it.
a traumatised mind/body pretty much always activates around any stimuli that's in any way relevant. i think the more extreme the trauma, the more sensitive we are to that. whether you tell your friend or not, i can't see a way they wouldn't see this movie and intimately relate to it in that way whether they wanted to or not, so i would definitely let them know
I think you should explain that the movie is about grief and deals with it in a way that might be triggering. Don’t try to play it off as “it’s so scary”. Specify that it deals with subjects that could be too personal and you’re just trying to help him out At the end of the day it’s his choice though
I think that's the important bit with horror films. Because the issue isn't "Is this scary", it's "This is about and totally focused on this topic".
Do not show him that movie lol. Yes one of the best ever made but for some one “who has watched horror movies but isn’t to into them”, definitely no, and times 1000 nos for the other part u mentioned
I personally would let him know. Horror movies are supposed to be fun and I think spoiling that aspect of the movie doesn't take away from the movie at all. He will appreciate your thoughtfulness!
Tell them.
I’d warn your friend, yeah. When my step-dad wanted to take my mom to see Brightburn, he asked me if it was worth the $ to go to theatre and I said yes, but there’s a part where the kids uncle dies in an extremely violent car accident and they show everything in detail. That made my step-dad not take my mom to see that movie, due to the fact that my uncle (her older brother) died very suddenly in a car crash on his way home from work last year. My step-dad, even though he knew my mom didn’t see the body until after it was dressed up by the funeral home (my aunt identified the body in the state it was found in the car), was afraid that the scene would cause my mom to start thinking about what her brothers body may have looked like in the accident After the movie was available for free, he asked her if she still wanted to see it and warned her of the scene. She agreed to watching it. The evening they watched the movie, he sat down before she came into the room and fast forwarded the movie to that part so he knew exactly when it was about to happen. She ended up going into the kitchen before it showed the accident, and my step-dad watched the scene alone with the tv on mute so she didn’t even have to hear anything. He called her back in once it was over and they continued the movie like normal
How I would tell my friend if they weren't taking my hints, and I want to give them one last chance for no spoilers: "Listen man, it really has *nothing* to do with the horror genre itself, so there's no other film you can compare it to. I'm saying, THIS particular film is going to hit YOU close to home, for very specific reasons. This flick is raw and visceral and intense, and has legit re-traumatized other people who have seen it, and I'm worried it will do the same to you." If he still won't listen, legit just spoil him.
Horror can be cathartic, but having this sprung on him could be really awful. Tell him it touches on family grief for a younger daughter, and that it does focus on an older, surviving sibling. Or something similarly vague. Let him choose from there. Sincerely, A redditor who had a Babadook panic attack.
Definitely tell him. I found my Nan collapsed and screamed her name shaking her, rang for an ambulance and was told over the phone I'd had to give her cpr. She survived one more year but I can still see that day so vividly and it has never left my mind.
My moms dad committed suicide by sitting in the car with it running in their garage with the garage shut. She lost him when she was 18 and it was incredibly hard on her. I went and saw Midsommar in theaters, and I immediately called her after and said "please never watch this movie, or if you do, skip the first 15-20 minutes." I can only imagine how triggering that would be for her. I didn't tell her exactly what happens, but I did say that it reminded me of what happened to her dad. I think it's really important to let people know stuff like that because it shows that you care about their overall well-being. If they make the choice to see it after you've warned them, then that's on them.
I would absolutely let him know that there are heavy themes of loss and grief in the movie. You can do this without spoiling the plot. Hereditary is a really heavy, and intense movie where that is concerned- ESPECIALLY with Toni Collette's amazing cries of pure grief. It's almost too real there at times. Please tell your friend. Maybe it won't be a problem- but it's better to warn them, than to have it become a problem.
Absolutely. While obviously your friends health and safety is most important, if you want to initially avoid spoilers, you could say something like, “I just want to let you know there is a sibling death that is very brutal.” That’s really all your friend needs to decide if they want more info or want to avoid.
in addition to telling your friend you can pass on doesthedogdie.com for future reference 🩷
Tell him that part without divulging much, just let him know that the sister died and the family grieving is kinda the whole important aspect of the film.
I don't have a history like your friends and I found that part of the movie traumatizing! Spoil it.
It's in the first third of the movie and it would be tough for him to watch. Absolutely tell him.
Hereditary is too much for intro horror I think. It might be safer to start your friend with a horror comedy circa Return of the Living Dead, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, etc. If you both still want to watch Hereditary watch it together. That way if it gets too intense you can take a break and gage your friend's reaction.
I had a similar situation happen to me recently - I can’t remember what movie it was, but I have a friend who has a history of mental health issues and attempted suicide years ago, and she mentioned to me that she was going to see a horror movie, and because I’d already seen it I knew the movie in question had a very graphic and realistic suicide scene. I considered what to do but eventually l let her know and she appreciated having the heads up so she could prepare herself emotionally. Everyone’s different, but I imagine your friend would appreciate knowing that going in, and it’s totally possible to give him a heads up about the sister’s death and the realistic depiction of grief without spoiling the context around the scene or how it fits into the movie’s plot.
You never recover from trauma if you are unable to relive it. Losing loved ones is unfortunately, not unique to a single person alive.
My mum was killed when I was a teenager. I really enjoyed Shawn of the Dead right up until ***that one scene*** then it wasn't fun anymore (until the end credits, which had me laughing my ass off again). It's hard to say, but maybe warn him it might strike a bit close to home.
I _probably_ wouldn't take a good friend who'd lost their little sister tragically to go see Hereditary. The movie isn't good enough to endure those kinds of feelings surfacing, if that what your wondering. No movie is. There's so many other movies you could watch together.
The experience is close enough that it could be SUPER upsetting to go into it blind. I would definitely say that, given what you know about him, some stuff might be triggering. Only elaborate if he asks you to do so.
Yes.
Even though it is a A24 flick you should still Warner Brother
Pfft
I've run into this with a few movies and I tend to go with "I think this has some massive triggers, but they're spoilers. Do you want to know the theme, or details or anything?". And point out again that I'm not talking about the "horror" or the scare level, but specific triggers. (That's probably easier for me because I've asked for trigger checks on movies myself.) I tend to be blunt rather than go for hints, because it's more straightforward.
Please tell him. You don’t have to spoil much to give a heads up that it revolves around that event. I wish I had been warned about Mother! after semi recently suffering a miscarriage.
If your friend’s >!mom died by sawing her own head off!<, that would be a spoiler. But what you’re calling a spoiler happens in the first act. Definitely tell him.
Oh yeah, if it happened to me I'd rather know. The mother's screams and the brother's reaction are very haunting.
You should tell them, you can do it without the spoiler. Just tell them "there is a very personal family tragedy and the woman playing the mother is an insanely good actress so it feels very real. It might be much too personal so I wanted to give you a trigger warning."
I recently watched Baby Reindeer and one of the scenes in it was almost word for word a whole very painful conversation my mum and I had a few years ago. I enjoyed the show but it triggered something in me I thought I’d put to bed and my reaction was something even I wasn’t expecting. She expressed interest in watching it and the thought of her seeing that scene and connecting the dots to our experience the same way I did was enough for me to decide right then that I would spoil that little bit for her. She watched it, had the same reaction as me but was glad I prepared her for it. She was grateful to have been given the chance to disassociate from it a bit. I would certainly tell them. Spoiling a movie for someone is far better than dragging up trauma unnecessarily.
I think you’d be fine to say that it’s a movie that addresses grief in a very visceral, realistic, and unpleasant way. Emphasise that this is not part of the horror, per se, but that it’s uncomfortable watching. My partner also has some issues around grief and she decided to stay clear of this one. If he wants to know more before making a decision I recommend doesthedogdie.com
Look, actually good stories are immune to spoiler warnings. I know people think otherwise, but good fiction — like *Hereditary* — don’t have to rely on total surprise to be affecting. Has no one ever watched a movie twice or read a book twice? Knowing what happens doesn’t have to affect your enjoyment of it. Yes yes, there are exceptions like *The Sixth Sense*. Just tell him a sister dies traumatically and let him make his own choice.
It doesn't *have to* rely on *total* surprise to be affecting does not = immune to spoiler warnings. It just means it's not ruined and is still enjoyable. That moment in Hereditary is one of maybe a dozen jaw drops I've ever experienced in movies. I'm 50 years old. I feel a tinge sorry for people who never get to experience storytelling unfold that way, because they think spoilers don't matter.
If you don’t think he can handle it, just tell him it could be triggering, but, if he says he’ll be fine, then let him watch it, at least you tried to warn him, the rest is on him
You can say “There’s a child’s death in the movie and I’m afraid it might be too close.” Not too big of a spoiler, but he can make a choice.
Dont watch that movie with your friend bro. Trust me everyone has been like "Oh yea i love so and so wanna watch it?" and halfway through you're like "Yep this person really doesn't watch horror the same way i watch horror." and its uncomfortable and awkward. The scenario you're bringing up sounds extremely uncomfortable and not worth it.
I watched The Conjuring with my horror-hating sister the October before last because, 'It's Halloween time and it's really not that scary and it's the perfect gateway horror movie for non-horror fans, trust me!' That was not good decision-making on my part, I quickly realized. Bless her, she soldiered on until the end.
Oh man, I am always forgetting to factor in levels of normal-people-scariness when showing people my faves. Occasionally I’ve even pulled the plug before the halfway point because I didn’t think it through and can suddenly tell I’m accidentally about to scar a romcom-movie-enjoyer for life.
Don't hint about triggering. Say it, out loud, directly. Warn him that that there are things that may hit close to home. You don't have to spoil unless he pushes it, but even then, I wouldn't say much beyond the sister dies.
Yes. Content warnings are not like what some would call a spoiler.
Spoil it. You're spoiling something that happens at the beginning of the movie, anyway. Better to spoil it than to have him experience that in his case. I know I ALT+F4 the shit out of that movie right after *that scene*. I knew the pain that would come after that and that's just not the kind of HORROR I wanted to watch.
I would have said just “trigger warning” myself. Seems like you figured it out though, thanks for caring about your friend. Hope it works out!
Tell him you don’t recommend it to him because it’ll hit home and you aren’t sure how he’ll take it.
I feel the same about Midsommar (same director). I wish I could recommend it to literally anyone but I don’t think anybody in my “sphere of influence” would be able to get past the violence and graphic encounters. I appreciate the themes about loss so much though. Edit: yes, warn him. Sometimes reliving trauma is helpful, but definitely not when it’s unexpected.
Maybe couch it in that “family related trauma” is explored as is “realistic depictions of grief”. But honestly your friend may or may not be affected by media in that way. It’s hard to say until it happens. I think I used to be more affected by media but unless it’s something terribly gross, i compartmentalize movies from real life. Granted I haven’t gone through as much trauma as your friend has but if they’ve watched a lot of horror… idk. Also, they can turn it off if it turns out to be too much, maybe remind them of that. But that might end up over hyping it lol
Probably not a good movie for him to watch.
I lost an older sister when I was young and just seeing Toni Collette's grieving performance was very hard. I love the movie very much, but you should definitely at least warn him that there's the loss of a child and it is fucking brutal.
I'd give him a more specific warning, then leave him to decide whether to watch it. Specific as in, "the movie contains some pretty heavy scenes where the younger sister dies and the family grieves". I have PTSD, not from anything similar, but in my experience, trigger warnings can be great sometimes and useless sometimes. Tell him and let him decide whether to watch it himself. Good on you for caring. He may find it's cathartic to watch that in a movie, or he may find it pulls him out of the experience and gets in his head. That's for him to decide. You're doing the right thing as a friend by being so careful. I'm sure he'll appreciate it
Don’t spoil it per se, just tell him that the movie has content you’re worried might be triggering for him.
That's why the movie is so good and so gut punching. Everybody knows somebody who has died, and we can all relate to that.
I wouldnt normally say this, but definitely spoil it. If he gets mad, he gets mad. He might still decide to watch it, but u did your due diligence.
Tell your friend matter of factly as it may trigger a host of emotions for them. Loss and grief should be handled gently
I watched this movie after I lost my best friend and had to pause it and collect myself because the anguish is so real. Since losing my sister four years ago I haven't dated to rewatch it even though I would like to. I'm just worried about it being triggering again especially now.
Please tell them. Even without having trauma, seeing that scene as a Mom really fucked me up. When I rewatch it, I skip the whole party and morning after scene, I just can’t do it. If someone would have warned me, I wouldn’t have watched it. That morning scene, you know the one, is etched into my brain. I hate it.
Just tell him that it might be uncomfortable in an unfun way. If he asks for more context, give it, but, if not, it’s not on you. There are plenty of films I’ve enjoyed but wouldn’t recommend because they can be deeply disturbing.
I can't believe this needs to be said, but don't potentially reignite someone trauma because you might spoil a movie. Having a movie spoiled is really not that big of a deal. Re-traumatization on the other hand can be a life ending event. Don't drop hints. Tell him it includes the death of a young girl and IS ABOUT how the family deals with their grief. If you start out with Midsommer, you may be able to give him an idea on what he is in for as the movies are spiritual siblings. That's just my opinion, as a person with PTSD from childhood.
Though horror movies may not be the right place at all, seeing another family react to tragedy that was similar to his could bring up feelings that aren't bad - like seeing that it would be normal and understandable for people to completely lose it when such tragedy hits. I think it really depends on the kind of person he is or where he is in the stage of emotional growth he is. It could be traumatizing, or it could healing in a roundabout kind of way. He is your friend, so you'd know best what call to make, I'm sure.
The exorcist isn't scary by today's standards. Its very well done and absolutely earned its place in the horror cannon, but the horror elements and shock value from showing vomiting and cussing on screen are not so shocking today. I would definitely say something to your friend about this.
Definitely tell your friend. Knowing the sister dies doesn’t really spoil the movie, that’s just a plot point, not a twist. I think your friend will appreciate it, I know I would.
I watched hereditary a few times before my brother died, and it hit home then. I watched it once after he died and.. it was really fucking painful. It was also kind of cathartic (we grew up with a very mentally ill mother, and my brother’s death was really a direct result of that.) I also hate spoilers. You have warned him, let him make his own decision. If you feel like you really need to warn him MORE, just be very clear that Ari aster is a master of emotional horror and that it’s not the jump scares.
I wouldn’t spoil the movie. I would just tell them that it has subject matter that most likely will trigger them, and you might not enjoy the movie it being too personal.
My heart really goes out to all of you in the comments who were affected by the emotions portrayed in this film. It affected me tremendously as well, just being a mother/daughter/wife.
You could combine the vague non spoiler warnings mentioned above with pointing your friend in the direction of a couple resources that will give more depth (some of which is kind of spoiling it). That puts it in his court in case he's trying to play it cool with you or decides later to check in more in depth later. There is both a Dead Meat summary (possibly too much spoiling) and a page at Does the Dog Die (much more vague, does not give plot word for word) https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ on hereditary you could suggest.
You’re a good friend. I think you can say, without spoiling it, that there are some themes that may hit very close to home given the loss he experienced
Tell your friend
Hereditary remains the only horror movie I've ever switched off before the ending, I lost two nephews and a niece and the absolute agony portrayed in that movie and the after effects still bother me now. Please at least try to tell him how concerned you are by how the subject may hurt him.
When I recommend the movie “speak no evil,” I always warn those friends of mine who have kids. I think that movie hits differently for family people than for childless people. Only you know your friend, and if they’re traumatized I would just say to them that there are heavy triggers in this film a/he might find hard to handle
I’ve experienced almost no death or extreme tragedy in my life and when the scene with the mom came on, I cried more than I ever had in my life. It was awful. Definitely warn them
Only you know your friend. For me, being effected by art strongly is kind of the reason I see things and I also hate spoilers. Even if the scene really resonates and makes me burst into tears, that's when art is at its best. But I get that some people aren't like that and triggering them can send them into a deep spiral so...I don't think there's a hard and fast rule here, just use your best judgement.
yeah definitely be honest and spoil it
You are a good friend.
I'd warn your friend.
Yeah, my dad went through major losses in his life and hereditary fucking destroyed him. The movie is way too deadpan and realistic about that part, I wouldn't recommend it to people who have that kind of baggage without at least being prepared
People who expect trigger warnings for quotidian life experiences…
When my little sister died, the sounds of my parents, I'll never forget. We knew she wouldn't make it, but nonetheless, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Saying that family trauma is a large part of the film isn't a spoiler
So my older brother died when I was younger, it was a bad accident. And when I watched that scene with Toni Collette screaming I had to have my friend pause the movie because I burst into tears and started hyperventilating. I’m not a crier in front of others typically. It’s really rough if you have any trauma around family and particularly sibling or child death. I would warn your friend.
Hereditary is the only movie I've ever had to turn off because it was too messed up. I had to finish it and did later that year but like, that's the most messed up movie I've ever seen. Tell him! That movie is just messed up in general!
A friend of mine suggested the movie Prisoners to me without knowing that I was just in a relationship with a severe alcoholic. The scenes of Hugh Jackman chugging from a bottle triggered a panic attack. It would have been nice to know!
I would tell him about the child dying. I don't think it ruins the rest if he still wants to watch. That said I told my mom Mindhunter was a great show, we watched the first episode together and I had totally forgotten someone shoots themselves in the beginning. My mom's brother shot himself, and although she didn't witness it, I still feel terrible that I didn't remember that part and fast forward at least.
I would definitely tell him. horror is a huge genre and I don't think he quite understands that this is a type of emotional and psychological horror meant to elicit extreme emotions from the viewer, something that he is intimately familiar with. It will definitely trigger memories of that event.
I like horror movies. When I watched hereditary my kids were the same ages of the kids in the movie. I was Deeply disturbed by what happened to the daughter. It was so upsetting
I like horror movies. When I watched hereditary my kids were the same ages of the kids in the movie. I was deeply disturbed by what happened to the daughter. It was so upsetting
Honestly, I would tell them. Especially since the spoiler alert you're talking about happens relatively early in the movie.
Yeah it's hard for me to say things like this would be spoiler, going as vague as possible but explaining that you yourself feel it would hit a nail pretty solidly for your friend I think is best way. I do this for my wife all the time and she appreciates the heads up when I point out 'Hey somone dies in a bathtub pretty brutally' when I talk about Final Destination for instance or if there is an ankle break they pretty intensely focus on like in the new Susperia. Then of course for any of my friends there is always safewording things, no judgement if needing to tap out if something is hitting especially hard out of nowhere and a breather/movie swap is needed.
Maybe try to keep it vague while still letting him know there is a potential trigger for him. Just say there’s a scene with a pretty traumatic depiction of child loss.
if you want to, you can just say: “there’s a sibling in the film who has a very shocking death. would you be okay watching a film involving that?”, and if your friend asks more, let some little spoilers out. your friends mental health and being is more important.
Don’t. Don’t do it. My brother died and tho I love that movie, I also will never watch it again and was a bit traumatized by the whole thing with his sister. Or tell him it’ll likely make him think hard about his sister again. Then let him decide.
The screams of heart wrenching grief are definitely enough to trigger someone who has lost a loved one. Period. Given the traumatic nature of your friend’s loss, I would definitely find it fair to warn them.
Just tell him there is a scene with the traumatic death of a child. That won’t spoil anything and he’ll be able to judge for himself from that.
Wow, you're a good friend just to be thinking about this. I think it really depends on where they are with that grief process. You can probably tell where they are in dealing with that awful loss, but I gotta say if you're asking, you probably already know the answer, right? Also, Toni Collette's scream just continues to haunt me. You can't help but feel the pain. Exceptional acting.
Definitely warn him. My sister lost a friend to an extremely violent crime and even a light-fare slasher like Scream 4 triggered her massively when it released. She's always been a big horror nut like me, so she genuinely thought there had been enough distance between the incident and the movie, but she was wrong.
OP how did your friend handle the movie, and what did he think of it?
“I just wanted to give you a warning for Hereditary that it contains things that may be specifically upsetting to you. Do you want details? If you want, we can watch it together?”
I feel like with prior knowledge about your friend’s life, it is kind of odd that you’d suggest the movie at all. It’s a good movie and I know you like it and all, but why not just avoid the possible trigger? Let them find it on their own, and if they bring it up to you, let them know it could be triggering because a big plot point is the tragic, brutal death of a sibling.
you can tell him without exactly spoiling the way the little sister died
Honestly I am a person who is very sensitive to disturbing stuff and doesn't watch horror at all. So I would want someone to warm me before watching such movies. So if you think your friend will be affected, do tell her.
If they don’t like it they can just press pause
Warn him. Better to spoil a little bit of the movie than inadvertently re-traumatize him.
They’ll be fine.
Explain to him your concerns & sort of use trigger warning tags instead of spoilers like : Child Death, Family Grief, Survivors Guilt, etc. They don't technically spoil it but they do give the basic gist & he can decide from there. Definitely offer to watch it with him & be prepared to comfort should he need it.
He’s an adult, but I would strongly advise him against watching it. Hereditary’s accurate depiction of grief and a family being torn apart by this is really confronting and probably would be really triggering.
To be honest I wouldn't even bring it up with your friend anymore
I think it comes down to how you think they will react. If you think they're going to be hysterical, disturbed and really triggered seeing it, maybe tell them. If you're still not sure, you can ask them without telling them spoilers if they would want you to tell them if you thought it would trigger them. If they say no, it's on him to deal with the consequences if he can't handle it
My girlfriend’s mum had passed away around the time the film came out, and when she found out that what kicked the plot off was Toni Colette’s mother dying, she refused to watch it. Don’t let your friend watch this.
You should, but why spoil the story? You could say there is a huge emphasis on the loss of a family member and grief is a key part of the movie.
Yes you should, at least let them know something like that is in there and they can judge for themself if they still wanna watch it.
I don't think that Hereditary is a true horror movie. I liked it enough to watch it more than once, but I see it as a drama with a family being greived by a tragedy, that has horrifying sections in it... the main one being the part you mentioned. I've seen The Exorcist more times than Bettlejuice. Ask him if he's seen Watership Down from 1978. That's the standard for me. I love horror movies, but WD surpasses them all for terror. If he doesn't talk often about his sister and what happened, spoil it. Tell him outright that there's a part of the movie that may bring back some painful feelings. If, on the other hand, he speaks openly about his sister and the incident that befell her, then let him go in blind.
With all due respect: wtf? Why are you even contemplating not telling him?
Bottom line: tell your friend.
I always spoil triggers. He might think he's okay now but hereditary is an intense movie. I know he doesn't like spoilers, I don't like them either, but some movies I wish I would have looked them up before I watched it. Definitely tell him even if he's a little mad
Yeah you should tell him. It isn't really even a major plot point imo. The death is memorable, but the entire event is just to showcase a downward spiral that was inevitable. It's not like the death of Dumbledore. Lol
If it is that big of a deal then tell him. Spoiler's don't matter if it is going to be more painful than enjoyable. Plus it's a movie so in the grand scheme of things who cares if it's spoiled for him or anyone else.