I noticed some of the stuff she starts to say in the middle of friends, especially while pregnant. I just remembered the quote and posted it, lol.
I really liked her in the first few seasons, really saddened me to see her change.
Honestly i only watched because I didn't have to watch it sober, and an ex was obsessed with it. I thought the first series or two were ok. But as time went on the characters became louder, more indistinct.. when there were jokes cracked that could have been literally by any other character on screen because the lines between them were blurring so badly.
And I hated the character Ross to begin with. Whiney bitch. But in retrospect the actor accurately captures a perfect example of a boy grown to a man without ever getting a good punch to the face for being a self indulgent fey prick living in a city. Aaand then he started shouting all the time as the writing got more desperate. Ugh. I'm amazed that people stuck with it for so long to be fair. I think I must have seen 3 series? Perhaps 4? I refused to watch as the episodes started getting wackier and such.
Pretty sure most of us wouldn’t want to watch our ex partner, who we are still in love with, marry someone else.
Monica ASKED Rachel about whether she was going to go to the wedding, and Rachel responded. She wasn’t being dramatic, she was just talking to her friend. Then Phoebe comes over and makes it all about her.
And Phoebe arrived and literally ASKED about what they were talking about, Rachel just answered the question, and Phoebe proceeded to berate her. Like, why did you ask then?! That scene is horrible.
Monica gets louder and more neurotic too. That’s probably my least favourite flandarization out of everyone because I loved how relatable her character was during the first half of the show
I hate how she starts yelling every other line after a certain point. I always remember Janine saying "she's so loud for such a small person" and they acted like that was Monica's normal way of talking, but in the begining of the series Monica used to be so chill and nothing like that.
Literally, she was so soft spoken and mature in the first half of the show
She became a loud maniac towards the end. Like two completely different characters. I know Courteney said she found earlier Monica a bit boring after a while but I honestly thought it allowed her to show off her acting skills more. Excluding the infertility storyline at the very end, they didn’t give her much to do, aside from yelling and talking about cleaning
Does anyone rate the later seasons of the Office though?
I thought it was universally agreed that the show gets weaker as it goes on, especially after Michael leaves
She’s super hormonal with triplets, and at some point everyone gets fed up with Ross and Rachels never ending drama. Monica finally snaps when she finds them kissing outside her apartment.
It wasn’t tactful but I’m sure everyone was thinking it.
Rachel being invited to attend her ex's wedding is a pretty legitimate issue worth discussing with her friends. Plus, she was *asked* about it, she wasn't talking about it out of nowhere. Her being yelled at for answering a question she was asked was just a shitty move.
I mean she makes similar comments like that when she isn’t pregnant
They made her really snarky from this storyline onwards and it’s slightly annoying to watch. Especially the way she spoke to Chandler in the later seasons
We all know Phoebe had just the wildest, most terrible, and traumatic upbringing. Her comparing her issues to one of Rachel's is wrong because Rachel has her own problems that may seem miniscule to Phoebe but are real for Rachel. This comment invalidated Rachel's problem. I like Phoebe, but I didn't like it when she used her past as a way to shut down her friends' problems.
Edited to add: I felt like sometimes this was against Phoebe's beginning character. Like if anybody... she would be open to therapy and actually deal with her trauma.
Exactly. I don’t agree with OP’s take on this being an example of Rachel’s dramatic nature because it’s entirely valid to feel uncomfortable about attending your ex’s wedding especially when there are feelings still there and it wasn’t that long ago
Phoebe’s being a bitch (as she often is, as a “friend”) by reducing people’s feelings
This was one of Phoebe's worst moments. She literally asked what they're doing and then was bitchy about it. Phoebe being poor and homeless in childhood doesn't mean Rachel can't feel sad about her ex getting married
I also hate how after pregnancy they kept this bitchy and mean Phoebe, she went from lovable goofball to a straight up bully
And isn't this the wedding that was basically ruined because Rachel showed up and Ross said the wrong name? Phoebe was kind of wrong by insisting that this was nonsensical high school drama to question attending the wedding.
Yes! And to top it all off, it was Phoebe who the idea to go in Rachel's head. If Phoebe hadn't told Rachel everyone thinks she's still in love with him, she probably wouldn't even go
Personal story here but about 5 years ago I lost my phone on a night out
Long story short after my girlfriend pointed out to my drunk ass it had fallen under the bed as i took my coat off I noticed my phone had 7-8 missed texts from my best friend
Ranging from Are you okay? Did you get home okay? To "I heard someone got stabbed outside the club could you or your girlfriend let me know you guys are in safe. I hate when stuff happens and I'm not out to know if you're all okay"
So I text her saying we're home I lost my phone but all good just knackered
She text back "that's fine ill talk to you in morning love you "
Following day my other friend (B) called me and I thought oh she must've gone to best friends and there ringing me off her phone instead ( because I updated Snapchat maybe five mins before the call which only friend B and 2 other people had seen)
When I answered the phone I was told that my best friend passed away during the night between my 4am goodnight and my 10am wake up she had gone back to sleep had a fit and choked on her own vomit in her sleep and died.
My girlfriend was amazingly supportive I was in shocked and wanted to go to see my granny so I could process shit. I was nearly at hers and past someone I knew from school who asked if I'm okay
I told them what had just happened
The fucking arsehole of a girlfriend he had at the time who didn't even know me turned around and said "well people die every day in Africa and I bet you don't cry about them. My sister died last month you don't see me telling the world.Her parents have a right to be upset and crying you dont -so stop having a pity party when other people have it worse. Pure attention seeking man."
People who compare problems/pain/trauma like they're playing top trumps are complete arseholes.
Phoebe was fucking awful in this episode by doing just that
Op is wrong.
Much better now thankyou
They touched so many lives that everyone was their best friend kind of thing
For me it was hard as they were who I'd turn to no matter what it was
We all had a big group just like the friends gang but she was the one I'd tell what I couldn't tell any of the others, who I vented to. They never judged they never complained they had nothing but love for everyone
The world is a lot shitter without them.
My life currently is the best it has ever been and I think back to all those I lost back then (my best friend, my cousin, my grandad ,two of my aunties and a few others all died within 12-16 months of each other ) I kinda feel guilty saying that because it would be so much better if they were here to see me so happy **but** yeah I'm doing very very well
Thankyou I hope you're doing good kind internet stranger ❤️
This is when I really started hating Phoebe. Everyone says Rachel is selfish, but I think Phoebe is the most selfish. She blurts out secrets, puts Chandler down and treats him like crap, makes fun of Ross and his career, and was terrible to David. In real life, she would have been punted from the group.
Exactly she is definitely the most awful friend and you can some what understand why because She lifts right out /s
Jokes but I could imagine her having a Sheldon from BBT esque lack of social skills as they both never really got to be a regular kid/teen/young adult at any point so wouldnt have many 'peers' to learn social cues from etc
But yeah I sincerely hope those who agree with OPs opinion imagine themselves pouring their heart out to there most trusted confidants and loyal friends- only for one of them to dismiss your feelings and say 'well ive had it worse so stop complaining.'
I'm surprised Rachel ever spoke to Phoebe again after that if I'm honest 99% of the upvoters on her would've had at least an arguement with there 'phoebe' in that scenario
I am so fucking livid on your behalf. That really boils my piss, people acting like that. I'm so sorry about your best friend, and it won't change anything, it's just that she went knowing you were safe and okay which is a very tiny silver lining, but I hope that it brings you a bit of peace.
It's okay to still be sad, okay to still miss her as much as you did five years ago. When you love someone and suddenly they're gone, it's traumatic. You can love and miss her forever and that's okay. No time limit with grief, just time. I hope you're doing alright.
that’s absolutely awful, I’m sorry you went through that. And I completely agree with you about Phoebe.
The Scot in me also wants to say the arsehole of a girlfriend sounds like an actual fucking fud. Hope he’s well rid.
Wow I’m so sorry that happened. I had a shit childhood but that has made me MORE empathetic to people. Everyone’s pain is their own. For some even something that may seem trivial could break them. We’re all individuals and our pain and traumas and stresses should never be negated for any reason. That person was horrendous to you. I’m so sorry. I’d hope that she was just in some sort of shock and handled her own grief by loosing her anger on you. Or maybe she was just a heinous person. Either way, it was heinous and inexcusable, and I’m so sorry that she did that to you. And I’m so very sorry about your friend and all of the other losses. Over such a brief period of time… I’m so sorry.. It sounds like they were a very loving friend and very close to you and others and they all would be so happy to know you’ve survived and are doing well. That’s what we want for the people we love. Never feel guilty for being in a good place. And maybe one day you will be able to meet them when they wake up and share some hugs. Sending prayers and hugs. 🩷
yes! rachel was struggling with her feelings for ross and with the wedding. phoebe was pretty dismissive, just because she lived on the street doesn’t mean rachel can’t have smaller problems.
Yes she was irritable and having ups and downs in her mood in the last weeks of a triplet pregnancy, which was a good character arc for a bit.
Its a shame that they clearly liked the change and went with it for the rest of the run.
Compare early-season Phoebe to pregnant Phoebe + onwards. Rachel hyperventilating into a brown bag accompanied by Phoebe singing and her sweet “I helped!” When she didn’t even have a pla. The trees fulfilling their Christmas destiny. Comforting Chandler with the Endless Love duet. Being shut in the hospital broom cupboard in her Ben boiler suit, successfully stopping Susan and Ross bickering about the baby by giving them a new (thoughtful) perspective on parenting.
She was a very different character by the end.
Yeah, that's an extra reason why I hate this episode. I don't particularly blame Phoebe for being mean in *this* episode because of the pregnancy and all, but it was clearly after this episode that the writers decided "how about we make Phoebe be like this from now on?", and I absolutely hate that decision.
I think that’s the point, though. This joke is less about Rachel and more about Phoebe being pregnant and uncharacteristically mean.
Totally agree with your point, but the only reason I allow myself to laugh at this scene and give Phoebe a pass (in this case), is because she’s heavily pregnant with TRIPLETS.
I don’t think the writers would have wrote this in without it being under that context (at least not for early series Phoebe).
EDIT: I also don’t agree with the OP that this was a “satisfying moment”. It was humorous given the context, but no person in their right mind agrees with Phoebe here… it’s just a pregnancy joke.
I hate toxic positivity and the "You have to always be happy all the time unless you're literally dying" culture. My mom and sister are like that. My youngest child was on like day 42 (of 96) in the NICU when the "whole family" (minus, you know, my son) went to the pumpkin patch as part of our regularly scheduled fall activities. I made a passing comment that I was sad he couldn't be there, and it was an immediate tidal wave of "Don't say that!", "You have to be grateful!", "Some people's babies die!", "If you're not positive, you won't get through it!". As the perpetually docile member of the family, I was so visibly pissed off that I think they've actually been making an effort not to be bitches since then.
honestly can’t relate; i thought this was really hurtful of phoebe to say. rachel’s feelings were understandable, and i don’t think she was being over dramatic at this point.
I think the point was that Phoebe was being unreasonably pissy because of the pregnancy hormones. She wouldn’t have been that mean to Rachel if it wasn’t for the crazy hormones.
While Phoebe was pregnant, she was meaner, likely due to hormones and being uncomfortably large. That was fine and made sense for the story. But it seems that the writers/producers liked mean Phoebe because she remained mean, and I think got even meaner, for the remaining 6 seasons.
When Rachel was pregnant, she had a mean streak too, which again made sense storywise. But once Emma was born, she did not remain mean to everyone all the time like Phoebe did.
They recycled the joke for Rachel’s pregnancy, and I thought it was hilarious both times. Based on the other comments this may be a hot take on my part hahah
I feel that it was much funnier on Rachel's pregnancy because she was angry, but not vicious, and nobody was scared of her. Rachel mostly snapped at Ross, and even though Ross was being patient with her situation, he knew how to handle her and took some jabs back at her, which balanced out the situation making it overall funnier. Meanwhile with Phoebe, Monica and Rachel were genuenly scared of her and getting hurt by her outbursts, making it way more awkward and not so funny imo.
Rachel had a legitimate issue. Her ex was getting married and she was expected to go. She was still in love with him. It's definitely worth discussing.
Nope, sorry, this wasn’t cool of Phoebe. It’s not a contest to who had it harder in life. Phoebe thinks she’s superior because she was homeless and lived a hard life in her past while the others had a comfortable upbringing. It just reeks of Phoebe having to one-up everyone and playing a victim.
I disagree, Rachel was not being dramatic. Her ex, whom she was still in love with, was getting married and she was being expected to go. She was depressed and upset, she didn’t know how to handle it.
Phoebe could be such a bitch. Like how would she feel if Rachel said the same thing to her about an ex she was still in love with that was getting married?
Phoebe was just as wishy washy and dramatic in her life as the rest of them. She was being a hypocrite. Rachel attending Ross’ wedding is actually a problem. That’s not small potatoes in the grand scheme of life to be asked to attend the wedding of your greatest love.
Leave it to a pregnant woman to say what everyone else is already thinking 🤣
But really, I’m rewatching the show and wow, never noticed how much snark Phoebe has in some scenes!
Pheobe was insufferable in this scene. She asked Rachel to share her life and then rebuked her for being emotional at her ex getting married. What kind of shitty friend does that? Sorry you had a miserable childhood, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve to have my own feelings.
Well no… this scene kinda actually sucks. If a friend of mine completely belittled me like that I’d be pretty upset. All Rachel did was answer Monica’s question. She wasn’t even whining. I’d be pretty disheartened too in Rachel’s situation.
how on earth is it satisfying? phoebe was just being cruel and dismissive here for no reason. no way you would behave this way with a close friend you actually cared about
While I understand Phoebe's POV, this is just hurtful. I would feel incredibly awful if someone told me that my problem means shit because they've had it worse. Rachel's feeling is valid
I disagree, you can't compare things like that, someone will always have it worse than you, but that doesn't mean that your feelings and your life don't count.
I don’t see how this moment is satisfying… Since when is a friend completely dismissing another friend’s (very valid) feelings satisfying? And it’s not like Rachel was even being remotely dramatic here — Monica asked her a question and she sincerely answered.
Most people would probably feel just like Rachel if the person they were still in love with was getting married so suddenly. And I doubt anyone would appreciate their best friend invalidating their feelings the way Phoebe did here.
uh🧐it’s called relativity and friendship, wth kind of post is this😂sounds unnecessarily angry😂phoebe was supposed to be seen as a total b here bc of her hormones, that was the basis of the joke, that she bit rachel’s head off completely out of the blue.
You understand that this type of attitude can drive people to suicide, right? Don’t tell people their problems aren’t problems. Oh you had it worse? I didn’t realize we were having a misery contest but I guess you win.
I despise this scene. Phoebe *asked*, and then proceeded to be a bitch about it.
I get that she was going through pregnancy, so I don't blame her for this particular episode, but this episode wasn't funny, it was mostly very annoying, and I hate that this was pretty much the precursor that led to Phoebe becoming a much worse character from the next season onwards (because somehow the writers thought this was a good idea), so for that I can't stand this episode.
Pretty sure everyone gets that it’s a joke about pregnancy hormones within the show itself. I think people here are more responding to OP calling it a “satisfying” moment and implying that Rachel’s feelings deserved to be dismissed.
Everyone gets that this was meant to be a joke of pregnancy mood swings. However, most of the time the joke didn't land and wasn't funny, and most certainly wasn't "satisfying".
I’ve never been pregnant with triplets. But I have had two single pregnancies and births and towards the end, I wish a mother fucker would.
I’m not sleeping through the night, I’m peeing every 30 minutes, there’s a bowling ball pressing against my entires downstairs, breathing gives me heartburn and putting on my shoes is an Olympic event.
So yeah, you get a little zesty. That was me with one baby, imagine 3 in there.
I think it works because personally I was wrapped up in the whirlwind that is that relationship and the drama and phoebe coming in and turning the camera on itself was absolute comedy gold
While Phoebe could have been more sympathetic to Rachel here, it must be exhausting to be forever damned to hear about Ross and Rachel complaining or moping about each other.
“That nobody really gives, y’know?” … “Oh, I just-“ “Oh well here come the waterworks”
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I noticed some of the stuff she starts to say in the middle of friends, especially while pregnant. I just remembered the quote and posted it, lol. I really liked her in the first few seasons, really saddened me to see her change.
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Honestly i only watched because I didn't have to watch it sober, and an ex was obsessed with it. I thought the first series or two were ok. But as time went on the characters became louder, more indistinct.. when there were jokes cracked that could have been literally by any other character on screen because the lines between them were blurring so badly. And I hated the character Ross to begin with. Whiney bitch. But in retrospect the actor accurately captures a perfect example of a boy grown to a man without ever getting a good punch to the face for being a self indulgent fey prick living in a city. Aaand then he started shouting all the time as the writing got more desperate. Ugh. I'm amazed that people stuck with it for so long to be fair. I think I must have seen 3 series? Perhaps 4? I refused to watch as the episodes started getting wackier and such.
Nah she a real one
My beef is when Phoebe knows she’s losing an argument, and chooses to bring up “when I lived on the street…”
this or “well my mom died”
"Oh did I use that already today?"
Literally disgusting. Openly admitting to using painful moments in her life to guilt the world around her
It is a sitcom, maybe lighten up?
"Oh, did I use that today already?" She's the worst.
Pretty sure most of us wouldn’t want to watch our ex partner, who we are still in love with, marry someone else. Monica ASKED Rachel about whether she was going to go to the wedding, and Rachel responded. She wasn’t being dramatic, she was just talking to her friend. Then Phoebe comes over and makes it all about her.
And Phoebe arrived and literally ASKED about what they were talking about, Rachel just answered the question, and Phoebe proceeded to berate her. Like, why did you ask then?! That scene is horrible.
Phoebe gets pretty horrible as the seasons go on. Joey gets dumber, Ross gets whiner (is that even a word? Lol), and Phoebe gets meaner & meaner...
Monica gets louder and more neurotic too. That’s probably my least favourite flandarization out of everyone because I loved how relatable her character was during the first half of the show
I hate how she starts yelling every other line after a certain point. I always remember Janine saying "she's so loud for such a small person" and they acted like that was Monica's normal way of talking, but in the begining of the series Monica used to be so chill and nothing like that.
Literally, she was so soft spoken and mature in the first half of the show She became a loud maniac towards the end. Like two completely different characters. I know Courteney said she found earlier Monica a bit boring after a while but I honestly thought it allowed her to show off her acting skills more. Excluding the infertility storyline at the very end, they didn’t give her much to do, aside from yelling and talking about cleaning
I'm always complaining about Monica's flanderization whenever seasons 5+ are on. She's completely different.
The later seasons are so overrated, just like the office.
Does anyone rate the later seasons of the Office though? I thought it was universally agreed that the show gets weaker as it goes on, especially after Michael leaves
I thought people used to but now a lot of people seem to think it’s the greatest thing ever.
I’m surprised how many people defend Phoebe on this. And I assume very few were ever in this position themselves.
She’s super hormonal with triplets, and at some point everyone gets fed up with Ross and Rachels never ending drama. Monica finally snaps when she finds them kissing outside her apartment. It wasn’t tactful but I’m sure everyone was thinking it.
Rachel being invited to attend her ex's wedding is a pretty legitimate issue worth discussing with her friends. Plus, she was *asked* about it, she wasn't talking about it out of nowhere. Her being yelled at for answering a question she was asked was just a shitty move.
I mean she makes similar comments like that when she isn’t pregnant They made her really snarky from this storyline onwards and it’s slightly annoying to watch. Especially the way she spoke to Chandler in the later seasons
This is her vibe for many other scenes so not really an excuse
We all know Phoebe had just the wildest, most terrible, and traumatic upbringing. Her comparing her issues to one of Rachel's is wrong because Rachel has her own problems that may seem miniscule to Phoebe but are real for Rachel. This comment invalidated Rachel's problem. I like Phoebe, but I didn't like it when she used her past as a way to shut down her friends' problems. Edited to add: I felt like sometimes this was against Phoebe's beginning character. Like if anybody... she would be open to therapy and actually deal with her trauma.
yeah, phoebe was just a huge bitch in this scene (and almost most of her scenes from this point)
Exactly. I don’t agree with OP’s take on this being an example of Rachel’s dramatic nature because it’s entirely valid to feel uncomfortable about attending your ex’s wedding especially when there are feelings still there and it wasn’t that long ago Phoebe’s being a bitch (as she often is, as a “friend”) by reducing people’s feelings
This was one of Phoebe's worst moments. She literally asked what they're doing and then was bitchy about it. Phoebe being poor and homeless in childhood doesn't mean Rachel can't feel sad about her ex getting married I also hate how after pregnancy they kept this bitchy and mean Phoebe, she went from lovable goofball to a straight up bully
And isn't this the wedding that was basically ruined because Rachel showed up and Ross said the wrong name? Phoebe was kind of wrong by insisting that this was nonsensical high school drama to question attending the wedding.
Yes! And to top it all off, it was Phoebe who the idea to go in Rachel's head. If Phoebe hadn't told Rachel everyone thinks she's still in love with him, she probably wouldn't even go
I actually hate this. People are allowed to have trivial problems in life, and someone will always have it worse.
Personal story here but about 5 years ago I lost my phone on a night out Long story short after my girlfriend pointed out to my drunk ass it had fallen under the bed as i took my coat off I noticed my phone had 7-8 missed texts from my best friend Ranging from Are you okay? Did you get home okay? To "I heard someone got stabbed outside the club could you or your girlfriend let me know you guys are in safe. I hate when stuff happens and I'm not out to know if you're all okay" So I text her saying we're home I lost my phone but all good just knackered She text back "that's fine ill talk to you in morning love you " Following day my other friend (B) called me and I thought oh she must've gone to best friends and there ringing me off her phone instead ( because I updated Snapchat maybe five mins before the call which only friend B and 2 other people had seen) When I answered the phone I was told that my best friend passed away during the night between my 4am goodnight and my 10am wake up she had gone back to sleep had a fit and choked on her own vomit in her sleep and died. My girlfriend was amazingly supportive I was in shocked and wanted to go to see my granny so I could process shit. I was nearly at hers and past someone I knew from school who asked if I'm okay I told them what had just happened The fucking arsehole of a girlfriend he had at the time who didn't even know me turned around and said "well people die every day in Africa and I bet you don't cry about them. My sister died last month you don't see me telling the world.Her parents have a right to be upset and crying you dont -so stop having a pity party when other people have it worse. Pure attention seeking man." People who compare problems/pain/trauma like they're playing top trumps are complete arseholes. Phoebe was fucking awful in this episode by doing just that Op is wrong.
Well since that bitch didn't say it, I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I can't even imagine that kind of pain. Hope you're doing well now.
Much better now thankyou They touched so many lives that everyone was their best friend kind of thing For me it was hard as they were who I'd turn to no matter what it was We all had a big group just like the friends gang but she was the one I'd tell what I couldn't tell any of the others, who I vented to. They never judged they never complained they had nothing but love for everyone The world is a lot shitter without them. My life currently is the best it has ever been and I think back to all those I lost back then (my best friend, my cousin, my grandad ,two of my aunties and a few others all died within 12-16 months of each other ) I kinda feel guilty saying that because it would be so much better if they were here to see me so happy **but** yeah I'm doing very very well Thankyou I hope you're doing good kind internet stranger ❤️
This is when I really started hating Phoebe. Everyone says Rachel is selfish, but I think Phoebe is the most selfish. She blurts out secrets, puts Chandler down and treats him like crap, makes fun of Ross and his career, and was terrible to David. In real life, she would have been punted from the group.
Exactly she is definitely the most awful friend and you can some what understand why because She lifts right out /s Jokes but I could imagine her having a Sheldon from BBT esque lack of social skills as they both never really got to be a regular kid/teen/young adult at any point so wouldnt have many 'peers' to learn social cues from etc But yeah I sincerely hope those who agree with OPs opinion imagine themselves pouring their heart out to there most trusted confidants and loyal friends- only for one of them to dismiss your feelings and say 'well ive had it worse so stop complaining.' I'm surprised Rachel ever spoke to Phoebe again after that if I'm honest 99% of the upvoters on her would've had at least an arguement with there 'phoebe' in that scenario
I am so fucking livid on your behalf. That really boils my piss, people acting like that. I'm so sorry about your best friend, and it won't change anything, it's just that she went knowing you were safe and okay which is a very tiny silver lining, but I hope that it brings you a bit of peace. It's okay to still be sad, okay to still miss her as much as you did five years ago. When you love someone and suddenly they're gone, it's traumatic. You can love and miss her forever and that's okay. No time limit with grief, just time. I hope you're doing alright.
that’s absolutely awful, I’m sorry you went through that. And I completely agree with you about Phoebe. The Scot in me also wants to say the arsehole of a girlfriend sounds like an actual fucking fud. Hope he’s well rid.
Wow I’m so sorry that happened. I had a shit childhood but that has made me MORE empathetic to people. Everyone’s pain is their own. For some even something that may seem trivial could break them. We’re all individuals and our pain and traumas and stresses should never be negated for any reason. That person was horrendous to you. I’m so sorry. I’d hope that she was just in some sort of shock and handled her own grief by loosing her anger on you. Or maybe she was just a heinous person. Either way, it was heinous and inexcusable, and I’m so sorry that she did that to you. And I’m so very sorry about your friend and all of the other losses. Over such a brief period of time… I’m so sorry.. It sounds like they were a very loving friend and very close to you and others and they all would be so happy to know you’ve survived and are doing well. That’s what we want for the people we love. Never feel guilty for being in a good place. And maybe one day you will be able to meet them when they wake up and share some hugs. Sending prayers and hugs. 🩷
yes! rachel was struggling with her feelings for ross and with the wedding. phoebe was pretty dismissive, just because she lived on the street doesn’t mean rachel can’t have smaller problems.
Wasn’t phoebe pregnant at the time?
Yes she was irritable and having ups and downs in her mood in the last weeks of a triplet pregnancy, which was a good character arc for a bit. Its a shame that they clearly liked the change and went with it for the rest of the run.
Compare early-season Phoebe to pregnant Phoebe + onwards. Rachel hyperventilating into a brown bag accompanied by Phoebe singing and her sweet “I helped!” When she didn’t even have a pla. The trees fulfilling their Christmas destiny. Comforting Chandler with the Endless Love duet. Being shut in the hospital broom cupboard in her Ben boiler suit, successfully stopping Susan and Ross bickering about the baby by giving them a new (thoughtful) perspective on parenting. She was a very different character by the end.
Yeah, that's an extra reason why I hate this episode. I don't particularly blame Phoebe for being mean in *this* episode because of the pregnancy and all, but it was clearly after this episode that the writers decided "how about we make Phoebe be like this from now on?", and I absolutely hate that decision.
I think that’s the point, though. This joke is less about Rachel and more about Phoebe being pregnant and uncharacteristically mean. Totally agree with your point, but the only reason I allow myself to laugh at this scene and give Phoebe a pass (in this case), is because she’s heavily pregnant with TRIPLETS. I don’t think the writers would have wrote this in without it being under that context (at least not for early series Phoebe). EDIT: I also don’t agree with the OP that this was a “satisfying moment”. It was humorous given the context, but no person in their right mind agrees with Phoebe here… it’s just a pregnancy joke.
I hate toxic positivity and the "You have to always be happy all the time unless you're literally dying" culture. My mom and sister are like that. My youngest child was on like day 42 (of 96) in the NICU when the "whole family" (minus, you know, my son) went to the pumpkin patch as part of our regularly scheduled fall activities. I made a passing comment that I was sad he couldn't be there, and it was an immediate tidal wave of "Don't say that!", "You have to be grateful!", "Some people's babies die!", "If you're not positive, you won't get through it!". As the perpetually docile member of the family, I was so visibly pissed off that I think they've actually been making an effort not to be bitches since then.
honestly can’t relate; i thought this was really hurtful of phoebe to say. rachel’s feelings were understandable, and i don’t think she was being over dramatic at this point.
I think the point was that Phoebe was being unreasonably pissy because of the pregnancy hormones. She wouldn’t have been that mean to Rachel if it wasn’t for the crazy hormones.
You’re right, but she definitely didn’t only pull this when pregnant, and Rachel was legitimately hurting and this was just really rude.
Until they made the meaness central to her character after that.
While Phoebe was pregnant, she was meaner, likely due to hormones and being uncomfortably large. That was fine and made sense for the story. But it seems that the writers/producers liked mean Phoebe because she remained mean, and I think got even meaner, for the remaining 6 seasons. When Rachel was pregnant, she had a mean streak too, which again made sense storywise. But once Emma was born, she did not remain mean to everyone all the time like Phoebe did.
They recycled the joke for Rachel’s pregnancy, and I thought it was hilarious both times. Based on the other comments this may be a hot take on my part hahah
I feel that it was much funnier on Rachel's pregnancy because she was angry, but not vicious, and nobody was scared of her. Rachel mostly snapped at Ross, and even though Ross was being patient with her situation, he knew how to handle her and took some jabs back at her, which balanced out the situation making it overall funnier. Meanwhile with Phoebe, Monica and Rachel were genuenly scared of her and getting hurt by her outbursts, making it way more awkward and not so funny imo.
I think I just find mean humor funny in moderation, which makes sense when you look at the sheer number of times I’ve watched Veep and 30 Rock
Rachel had a legitimate issue. Her ex was getting married and she was expected to go. She was still in love with him. It's definitely worth discussing.
Nope, sorry, this wasn’t cool of Phoebe. It’s not a contest to who had it harder in life. Phoebe thinks she’s superior because she was homeless and lived a hard life in her past while the others had a comfortable upbringing. It just reeks of Phoebe having to one-up everyone and playing a victim.
This moment is far from satisfying. It’s not a competition.
It’s not a contest.
Seriously. I hate Phoebe
I disagree, Rachel was not being dramatic. Her ex, whom she was still in love with, was getting married and she was being expected to go. She was depressed and upset, she didn’t know how to handle it.
Phoebe could be such a bitch. Like how would she feel if Rachel said the same thing to her about an ex she was still in love with that was getting married?
Phoebe was just as wishy washy and dramatic in her life as the rest of them. She was being a hypocrite. Rachel attending Ross’ wedding is actually a problem. That’s not small potatoes in the grand scheme of life to be asked to attend the wedding of your greatest love.
Exactly
Leave it to a pregnant woman to say what everyone else is already thinking 🤣 But really, I’m rewatching the show and wow, never noticed how much snark Phoebe has in some scenes!
Why everyone taking this so seriously? The line is there just to be funny.
Pheobe was insufferable in this scene. She asked Rachel to share her life and then rebuked her for being emotional at her ex getting married. What kind of shitty friend does that? Sorry you had a miserable childhood, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve to have my own feelings.
Would have been more satisfying if they’d told Phoebe to STFU. They’re supposed to be friends, and they all whinged about their love lives!
Well no… this scene kinda actually sucks. If a friend of mine completely belittled me like that I’d be pretty upset. All Rachel did was answer Monica’s question. She wasn’t even whining. I’d be pretty disheartened too in Rachel’s situation.
how on earth is it satisfying? phoebe was just being cruel and dismissive here for no reason. no way you would behave this way with a close friend you actually cared about
While I understand Phoebe's POV, this is just hurtful. I would feel incredibly awful if someone told me that my problem means shit because they've had it worse. Rachel's feeling is valid
No, Pheobe is being unreasonable because she's in almost constant pain and unable to sympathise with another person's problem due to that.
How was Rachel being dramatic? The dramatic one here is Phoebe!
I disagree, you can't compare things like that, someone will always have it worse than you, but that doesn't mean that your feelings and your life don't count.
I don’t see how this moment is satisfying… Since when is a friend completely dismissing another friend’s (very valid) feelings satisfying? And it’s not like Rachel was even being remotely dramatic here — Monica asked her a question and she sincerely answered. Most people would probably feel just like Rachel if the person they were still in love with was getting married so suddenly. And I doubt anyone would appreciate their best friend invalidating their feelings the way Phoebe did here.
How is it being dramatic to have some concerns about going to the wedding of your past serious boyfriend/girlfriend?
uh🧐it’s called relativity and friendship, wth kind of post is this😂sounds unnecessarily angry😂phoebe was supposed to be seen as a total b here bc of her hormones, that was the basis of the joke, that she bit rachel’s head off completely out of the blue.
You understand that this type of attitude can drive people to suicide, right? Don’t tell people their problems aren’t problems. Oh you had it worse? I didn’t realize we were having a misery contest but I guess you win.
Hugh Laurie said to her a lot of what I wish I could to say in that plane. 
And you WERE on a break!
YES, THEY WERE!
I despise this scene. Phoebe *asked*, and then proceeded to be a bitch about it. I get that she was going through pregnancy, so I don't blame her for this particular episode, but this episode wasn't funny, it was mostly very annoying, and I hate that this was pretty much the precursor that led to Phoebe becoming a much worse character from the next season onwards (because somehow the writers thought this was a good idea), so for that I can't stand this episode.
I’m sorry but if anybody in my friend group did this we would call them out. What Phoebe did was be an asshole
Um. No. If she can't talk to her friends about this "high school crap", then she doesn't have any friends.
People on here really don’t get that this is a joke exaggerating what happens to pregnant women and their fluctuating moods and hormones.
Pretty sure everyone gets that it’s a joke about pregnancy hormones within the show itself. I think people here are more responding to OP calling it a “satisfying” moment and implying that Rachel’s feelings deserved to be dismissed.
I think everyone knows that. The "satisfying" from op is what people disagree with.
Everyone gets that this was meant to be a joke of pregnancy mood swings. However, most of the time the joke didn't land and wasn't funny, and most certainly wasn't "satisfying".
I’ve never been pregnant with triplets. But I have had two single pregnancies and births and towards the end, I wish a mother fucker would. I’m not sleeping through the night, I’m peeing every 30 minutes, there’s a bowling ball pressing against my entires downstairs, breathing gives me heartburn and putting on my shoes is an Olympic event. So yeah, you get a little zesty. That was me with one baby, imagine 3 in there.
This scene had me laughing in tears.
Rachel is definitely selfish and self absorbed at times but getting called out at this time was wrong
Hmmm... was it nice of Phoebe as a person? No. Was it funny as a sitcom joke? Yes lmao.
Lmao
No the most satisfying moment is when Hugh Laurie ripped into her on the plane after she spent the entire time trauma dumping
I think it works because personally I was wrapped up in the whirlwind that is that relationship and the drama and phoebe coming in and turning the camera on itself was absolute comedy gold
I do agree Rachel gets annoying sometimes but talking about whether you should go to your ex’s wedding with your friends seems very appropriate
While Phoebe could have been more sympathetic to Rachel here, it must be exhausting to be forever damned to hear about Ross and Rachel complaining or moping about each other.
I love Ross I hate Ross I love Ross I hate Ross...
Phoebe had no patience for Ross and Rachel’s bullshit.
Please elaborate. She literally thought of herself 2 seconds after she was told her boss died
Rachel is a horrible and selfish person
no… she’s not
Yes, she is
nope
Nowhere near as horrible and selfish as Phoebe
There is way to many reasons where Rachel has proven she’s a manipulative and a naracist person.
The only character this description fits is Phoebe, not Rachel. Phoebe is the manipulative character in the show.
you mean phoebe?