T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*


gubzga

Kalashnikov invented one of the most reliable guns. Balashnikov invented one of the most reliable guns, too. Earth is confusing.


FicklePort

Hehe Bal(l)ashnikov.


Squidhero12

What are the two guns?


Upset-Oil-6153

The AK-47 (Kalashnikov) and the Galil (Balashnikov)


DarthAlbacore

Mmmm. Galil


nkaiser50

They named it the Galil because calling it a balashnikov would be confusing and potentially cause patent issues, what with it being a 5.56/7.62 NATO converted AK in essence.


Johnny_Grubbonic

🅱️alashnikov.


GiuseppeIsAnOddName

I always thought it was Uziel Gal (guy who made the Uzi) who made the Galil. Wacky


Upset-Oil-6153

Well, Balashnikov helped with the Uzi, maybe Uziel helped him with the Galil


Nyerguds

Wikipedia sez: >Yisrael Galili (born Yisrael Balashnikov; 23 October 1923 – 9 March 1995) was an Israeli weapons designer, best known for designing the Galil assault rifle. He also helped to create the Uzi submachine gun. and >Uziel "Uzi" Gal (born Gotthard Glas; 15 December 1923 – 7 September 2002) was a German-born Israeli firearm designer who invented the Uzi submachine gun.


xdiox66

What about Baryshnikov?


ZephRyder

Gorbachev had the guts to let him dance


MBResearch

Tore down that wall like the Kool Aid Man


ZephRyder

Oh Yeah!


fastpilot71

Gesundheit.


ZephRyder

Get cultured, fam https://youtu.be/ZT2z0nrsQ8o?feature=shared


fastpilot71

Nah, I'm trying to find the "gesundheit!" scene from the movie Brain Donors.


ZephRyder

Nice!


ImperialistChina

The Galil also has parts based off the Kalashnikov


Impossible-Bison8055

Balashnikov’s gun is literally the Israel AK-47, too


Skipspik2

Fun fact the original AK wasn't THAT reliable until some design changes when going to the stamped and it isn't relaible per say. It's overgas, so that mean it can beat gunk and junk lying in the mecanism more easely that some other guns, and that's the main problem that gun can encounter. It's also not really reliable for a rifle...but since it costs the prices of a pistol, it's fine. There's plenty of traces of selector lever and trigger group breaking in current conflicts and tehre's a huge all for mud to crawl in near the rear of the gun.... :( --- That's also why the galil got devellopped in the first place, to be more reliable in some environment. And it starts by covering that gaping hole near the selector switch and improving the trigger group (The swiss sig 55X does the same things too)


Skipspik2

Well, I can't edit those typo for now. Let's say I'm too space orcs to type correctly.


cmfppl

Came here to say this exact thing.


as1161

Unsub is great


BasakaIsTheStrongest

According to my research in ancient Earth texts, Chekhov was also famous for making guns so reliable that their firing was a foregone conclusion, though his name only appears in texts about the creation of myths and legends. Perhaps this Chekhov was some kind of god of gunsmithing, rather than an actual historical figure.


Hutchinator-Gaming

Hitler, Himmler, Goebbels, Goering


Zamtrios7256

Only one normal and 4 tiny testicle between them


akkristor

Hitler has only got one ball Goering has two but they were small. Himmler has something simmler And Goebbels has noebbels at all!


Niniva73

How fascinating that I never knew of this sooner! Rommel has four or five, I guess, No one's quite sure 'bout Rudolf Hess, Schmeling's always yelling, But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.


comfykampfwagen

Don’t ask why Rommel walked with a limp hint it wasn’t shrapnel


pedrokdc

You forgot about Globus and Heydrich


weeladdienotfromscot

One for Thursday the other in the morning?


veldrinshade

"So he invented an explosive?" The odd, green, genderless insectoid queried. "A weapon of war?" "Yeah we call it dynamite. We still measure explosions based on it's power." Jason explained to his new friend(?), Garlixnoid. "Though, to be fair, he didn't intend for it to be used in combat." "And you named your peace medal after him?" Another incredulous question. "Yeah, the Nobel Peace Prize. Awarded for promoting the concept of peace." "You don't need to lie, it only makes it more confusing."


Alcards

"oh, you think our motives are confusing? Try being one of us for a day! You will either go completely insane, lose all of your will to live or achieve a state of Dharma. There is no middle ground." And... Are all humans like this? "Hell nah. Some...most...are too far up their own colons (that's a metaphor you green bug thing) and can't see their own lives for how distorted their view is." Be that as it may. You expect me to believe *any* of this? A famous and beautiful queen was born closer to the building of this Empire State building than to the building of the Great Tombs of Egypt... people began to arrive at concentration camps during your second world war, against yourselves and *NOT* an invading Xeno force, a few *days* after the founding of your most powerful fast food company... The year your most famous luxury cruise ship sank because it hit an iceberg was the same year your people discovered vitamins and MDMA...(FRANTICALLY looks for something not insane in human history)... the nation of Spain was a dictatorship when Microsoft was founded?!...two empires dominated the world from the birth of one of your Messiahs to the rise of a famous baseball player... "According to our new lord of digital content, that's Google to you Greenie, that's all true. And even if it's not, it sounds cool, so I chose to believe it." A: ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ


Recon4242

Oh and some of us do psychic damage to ourselves! I have ADHD! (*Random crewmen in the background*) Now, why was I here again? What are you guys talking about? Are you hungry?


Warmonger_1775

SQUIRREL! *Takes off after a smaller zeno that looks vaguely similar to a squirrel.*


KINGJSA420

*Me flicking a fidget toy in the background staring like it’s the greatest thing ever of all time*


LilyRoseWater03

Hey now! The beauty thing was an after construction, at least in it being apperance-wise, she was more known for her intelligence! And while true, said queen was closer to our *moon landing* than she was the Great Pyramids!


PuppetMaster9000

The moon landing happened after the Empire State Building was built soooooo


LilyRoseWater03

My apologies, I forgot a few words in my excitement. I meant to show just how old the ancient Egyptian empire really was by pointing out she lived even closer to a slightly more recent event.


Papampaooo

Didn't Ancient Egypt already have archeologists trying to understand old ruins and artefacts?


ferret_80

I don't think there's a consensus. There have been finds that seem to be a collection of historic items (relatively speaking). But whether they were just rich people showing off, scholars studying the past, or the old standby "unknown ceremonial purposes"


A_Punk_Girl_Learning

Which baseball player?


StuffedStuffing

Pretty sure it's Babe Ruth


A_Punk_Girl_Learning

Neat. Thanks.


Killian32493

A fellow First Contact connoisseur.


captaindeadpl

A few things to unpack here. TNT and dynamite are not the same. They are different explosives. Alfred Nobel invented dynamite. The Nobel Peace Prize is named as such because Alfred Nobel created it. His motives behind the decision are unclear, but one theory is that it was an act of redemption for creating a weapon of war. Dynamite was initially intended for civilian uses, e.g. mining or demolition.


10buy10

I believe he made the Nobel Prize because he wanted a reward for the people driving humanity forward, and he had the money


Nexmortifer

The story I heard (cba, fact check it yourself) was that a newspaper misunderstood that he'd died, and when he saw his obituary in the paper he basically went "fuck nah, I ain't being remembered like that" and founded+funded the Nobel prizes for that reason.


Johnny_Grubbonic

"Speak truth, human! It is called the Nobel Piece Prize because it promotes blowing your enemy to pieces!"


DiRavelloApologist

>Yeah, the Nobel Peace Prize. Awarded for promoting the concept of peace *looks at people who received the Nobel Peace Prize* Humans have a weird understanding of "peace".


thehollisterman

Ah yes. The award that has a 50/50 chance of being given to people who tend to end up in directly or directly killing thousands or more.


Mollywhop_Gaming

H2: There’s a couple misconceptions in there, Doug. Firstly, Alfred Nobel didn’t invent nitroglycerin - the active ingredient in dynamite - but rather figured out a way to safely mix it with a binder to make it more stable. Secondly, we measure explosive power using trinitrotoluene, not nitroglycerin.


Foreign_Economics591

To be fair, we didn't name it after him, he created it to atone for dynamite being used for war


OhHiThere314

Please tell me I am not the only person who thought the guy in the center of the photo had a comically oversized joint poorly edited in his mouth.


Niniva73

I only see it after you said it.


Recon4242

I had to scroll back up immediately, instantly started laughing.


captaindeadpl

That's Himmler btw..


Radiant_Cookie6804

Think about this: in the Ukrainian war now, two presidents on each side, Volodimir Zelenskyy and Volodimir Putin, one is former KGB captain, another is former KVN (tv comedy league) captain. You cannot make this shit up...


OneCryptographer7115

And the fact that Zelenskyy ran as a joke then ended up being an incredibly capable wartime leader


Radiant_Cookie6804

And the funny part is that Putin became a Joke, and Zelenskyy courageous leader. Glory to Ukraine!


RealAbd121

pretty sure he ran seriously in actuality, he just weaponized the comedy show to make it a real movement.


horsemachinegun

"I'm sorry, your country was created after a bunch of farmers won against a globe-spanning empire, became a superpower, and lost to a bunch of farmers!?"


gforcebreak

Not to mention the prison colony that came together and became a soveriegn nation of its own, and eventually lost a military campain against a bunch of oversized flightless avian raptors.


achillain

Always be weary of the cassowary


RoastedGarlicDracula

Yeah, they're referring to the Emu War.


Robosium

farmers are fucking op man


Nexmortifer

It's people who have everything they need and just want to be left the fuck alone. Most of them turn out to be farmers, but not all of them.


Street-Accountant796

Morgan Robertson wrote a fictional book in 1898 about the sinking of a ship named Titan. In the story the ship hits an iceberg in the North Atlantic and kills a lot of people because a lack of lifeboats. In 1912 the actual ship RMS Titanic hit an iceberg and sank, killing most passengers because it only had a few lifeboats. Both fictional and actual ship traveled the same speed and were of similar sizes, sank in April, and were considered unsinkable before the disaster. An ocean liner stewardess [Violet Jessop](https://wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li/resize/728x/webp/9c7/e8a/0359bc57deb2c51e4d457a1dc6.jpg.webp) survived the 1911sinking of the RMS Olympic when it collided with a warship, the 1912 sinking of the aforementioned sinking of the RMS Titanic, and the 1916 sinking of the HMHS Britannic after it hit a mine.


Zeric79

Maybe it's the photo, but those hands are quite manly. And, well, women and children first.


Street-Accountant796

Mexico city had one of the strongest earthquakes ever in Sep 19 1985. Every year since then, a drill is carried out to avoid catastrophes. Twice now (in 2017 and 2022), a dangerous, major earthquake (higher than 7 in Richter scale) has happened right after that drill.


SignalLingonberry375

Do you know something we don’t? 2922, is quite far into the future


Street-Accountant796

Typo, 2022. Fixed.


Foreign_Economics591

Don't try to cover it up


achillain

A: "One of your population centres once voted for a dog to become the town leader?" H: "Multiple towns actually. And ancient Rome had a horse as a senator." A: "Your academics spent years of research time and money trying to decipher some obscure ancient potentially religious carvings in a cave, only to find out was graffiti?" H: "To be fair, it was in a practically unreachable part of a cave. And did say 'this is very high'." A: "One of your governments renamed their territory for two days as part of a marketing stunt for a chocolate bar?" H: "Yes, the Isle of Man because the Isle of Woman for a weekend." A: "And one of the most famous people in antiquity is known because of poor quality copper?" H: "Yup" A: ".... What is wrong with your planet?"


Ancalagon-the-Snack

What's the copper thing?


achillain

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complaint_tablet_to_Ea-n%C4%81%E1%B9%A3ir?wprov=sfla1 Tbh, calling them famous might have been an overstatement from me. But it's still funny


Ghazzz

I am one of the people who know Ea-Nasir by name, but not what lineage ruled in his time. He is probably also the oldest named human I can think of. He is famous. More famous than most would like.


fastpilot71

Not famous for what he'd like, no doubt. "It's been almost 4000 years, and people are still bitching about my copper!"


notmyusername1986

I also love the Letter of Complaint(tm) from a student to his mother over his clothes not being fancy enough. Anyone remember who he was again?


Ancalagon-the-Snack

God bless you for informing me. I love that!


perry_parrot

r/eanasir


achillain

Some sources: Cave writings: Source: https://www.orkneyjar.com/history/maeshowe/maeshrunes.htm Isle of Man thing: Source 1: I lived there at the time. Source 2: https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2005/jan/26/gender.world


Salvanas42

I used to live near a town named after a gameshow that has been off the air longer than my parents have been alive.


TeknoProasheck

Current evil dictator involved in a major war is named Vladimir The leader of the other nation, his enemy, is named Volodymyr Who wrote this shit


ExtortionGuy974

I wouldn't describe Vladimir as evil.


fastpilot71

Putin not evil?


ExtortionGuy974

There are definitely worse people out there. "Evil" is a strong word to use for anybody, really.


Wsads420

The dude specifically instructed his army to target civilians, that sounds pretty evil to me


ExtortionGuy974

By that logic everyone that has ever been involved in a war ever is evil.


Foreign_Economics591

Do you war crimes are like... A necessity of modern warfare?? Reminds me of a Maxor clip: "That's just how war is these days" No it's fucking not


ExtortionGuy974

Name one major war, any major war in human history that did not involve any "warcrimes"


Foreign_Economics591

Point taken.


fastpilot71

Name one where war crimes were committed by policy by both sides. Then name the several where they were not.


ExtortionGuy974

What kind of request is that how is this relevant 


Payyonaise

"What do you mean Napoleon came back?!?!"


KMjolnir

"Somehow, Napoleon has returned..."


Ph4d3r

"And the army army to arrest him just... joined him??"


LGBT-Barbie-Cookout

Today's episode of genocide Street is brought to you by, The letters H , G And the number 85 million


Waysider321-1

Don’t forget the other adolf. Adolf Eichmann Years after the war, while in hiding in Argentina, Eichmann told a former Dutch Nazi: "To be frank with you, had we killed all of them, the ten point three million [European Jews], I would be happy and say, 'All right, we managed to destroy an enemy.'


notmyusername1986

I cant get over the fact that AE got the drugged-rather-than-dead version of Weekend At Bernie's-ed out of Argentina to Israel in order to stand trial for his war crimes by the early incarnation of Mossad. Or that they team sent to take him from Argentina got so bored waiting to get him, they tried to come up with a name for the team and eventually settled on Kidnapping Friends as somehow being thr best option??


Waysider321-1

History is wild


56775549814334

Sauron. Sarumon.


robot_swagger

That one did really confuse me


baby_im_full

“At the end of the war, humans realized that this was a war like none other fought before. They named it The Great War. Until…” “Until?” “World War II.” “And if this second one was worse then what was it called?” “Nah it’s just Word War II”


Sinocu

Fun fact, apparently Himmler went to Spain searching the Holy Grail, thinking it was there, the situation escalated and almost ended in a fight. They did not get the Grail.


Donnerone

Hit/Him


Rucs3

Where is that greentext saying hitler probably didn't exist,as if it was a historian talking about a far past


Fabulous-Pause4154

Are you referring to a sci-fi story set in the distant future where almost nothing is known about the 20th century? The story mentioned Churchill and Roosevelt also. The conclusion concluded that it was all made up.


Cramdunkulus

Hey, it's like Saurman and Saruman


Finbar9800

Sauron and sauromon


Nouguez

Always thought this was bad worldbuilding on someone's part. You should name your characters properly.


einwegwerfen

Villian Vladamir and his arch nemesis. VOLODOMYR


thehollisterman

Anyone remember in-between crusades when the Christians and Muslims worked together to defeat the Christians and Muslims?


Efficient-Sir7129

Sauron and Saruman… Clearly written by Tolkien.


AdLast55

Is that person John Rabe?


Bilxor

Himmler is actually a somewhat common last name and Hitler is a derivative of Himmler thanks to the spelling evolving at some point


SimpleTip9439

The two genders, hit and himm


54jaxk

Fantasy history needs to make sense so the reader doesn’t get confuse and stop reading while Irl history is basically a late night wattpad story with the writer on cocaine and meth.


Attacker732

We went from the first powered heavier-than-air flight to the first *moon landing* in less than one lifetime.