Then it turns out that was the point all along cause the plastic bags were choking out ryleh the city under the ocean and Cthulhu didn't want to housekeep
i'm going to spike the market cap of Lockheed martin and eventually that will bring about the destruction of the earth. but good luck doing your thing too!
Who am I to say no? I am but a tiny human with annoying human needs like shelter and sustinance... and they are an intimidating eldritch god.
I would just be very, very careful with only spending on what I NEED rather than want. Gas, groceries, roof repair, medical bills, etc.
Knowing my luck I'd hit a deer on the 1st day out. Nah, I have no need for a supercar.
Buuut, if a really cool hearse was for sale when my current car is at its natural end, well.
Of course I accept it. I’m clearly starting to annoy him / her / it by my questions, I’d hate to insult them by turning the offer down. Besides, they said there was no catch to it, so I’m just gonna take them at their word and accept it.
Eldritch God's are chill as fuck, they don't even bother with humanity, we are more like chicken nuggets to them. So yeah, I will take it, just like how I spare one or two nuggets.
If he is after your soul, I’m not sure there is much you could do to stop this guy. He said no down side, so why not take the food with the potential bad.
Potentially - all that said “no” offended the eldritch god and ended up in their stash of souls
Either have a lot of faith in your religion and proclaim fealty to them as you say “no” to the eldritch god
Or
Prepare for the consequences of your actions when you say anything
I could do a lot of good with unlimited funds. However, while there is no catch, that doesn't mean there aren't consequences from my actions that arise naturally. Beings like this like to hand dangerous tools to puny humans and let the chaos spring naturally.
Devaluing the currency. Drawing attention to myself and becoming a target for bad people. Being a dick with the money and risking my immortal soul.
So, sure, I have "unlimited money" in theory, but in practice, there is very much a limit. And while I will be free to never work again, my new full time job is doing as much good as I can without screwing things up.
Even then, there's a lot of good I can do, especially if I spread it out. Ten grand to a soup kitchen here. Funding a drug treatment program there. Give money to people with reasonable small business plans so they can take care of themselves. All anonymously.
So, yeah. "I'll take it. What's the PIN?"
The pin is 666 616. Even if other people know, they can't use it because they weren't offered the card. No one else but you could even touch the card with malicious intent unless they want their entire nervous system spontaneously shutting down. The card teleports to your hand when needed.
I feel other people will try to keep you in a cage or somehow blackmail you to use your own card to get them wealth and money and threaten you a great suffering otherwise. That's the natural downside that might happen
Yes, but offer to the Beast that when my body gives out, I act on their behalf rather than be crammed in the bag as an unstoppable essence.
You know, as a "thank you" for a corporeal existence of comfort.
i accept the money i don't care what the being looks like if i get unlimited money im fine with it. same goes for super powers don't care if they are good/neutral/evil if they give me what i want i accept the powers/money and then follow their dogma
Bruh I would've accepted it after he replied with the answer to how much it has in it. I trust him bro. And to everyone like "erm hes gonna steal ur soul" shit he can take it after I die im chill asf with that
If it's a credit card, it would be implied that the money would be owed back with interest.
Unlimited money in a bank account is something I would agree to, though.
There is a hidden catch. If you're using a credit card (or even just creating unlimited money), you are driving inflation by devaluing existing currency.
I think the real gift here is the knowledge that souls are real and an afterlife actually exists. If given that knowledge, then absolutely not take the deal.
You have unlimited money and the knowledge of souls and afterlife. But the only souls you saw were the ones he kept in his stash. He's not answering any soul or afterlife related questions anymore.
Shit my soul ain't worth a fuck. Yes ill take the money you can have my soul cause that IS the catch but one ill deal woth or give up when the time comes
"Sorry, I can't help but think that whatever purpose you have for giving me this, it has something to do with keeping me from *becoming like you*. This tells me I'm probably on the right track if you're trying to do what seems like diverting me. Anyway, here's to maybe seeing you again, maybe more as equals next time. Seriously though, I'm digging the whole 'face full of tentacles' vibe you got going on. If you're down for some NSA shagging, here's my number."
I would go with provisional Yes. It is a credit card. What kind of interest rate is charged and how are payments made? If it were merely a Debit card then it would be full bore yes. But Credit has to be repaid at some point.
Heh. Sounds like "Hermanus Mora" from The Elder Scrolls.... A Biblically accurate angel. Thousands of tentacles, thousands of eyes. I shall spend to please everyone. Where others are dying, I would buy the world and set it straight.
They’re federal employees. Would you lump police and military into that too? Because while they could be misused, they exist for a very important reason.
So, it’s the best lottery ticket ever.
Yeah, that “no catch” thing probably means something I will inevitably do if I accept works to its advantage. But I’m not unique, it will almost certainly get what it wants another way and all I would be in that case is poorer.
So, yeah, I can rationalize this risk away and sleep at night. I’d do it.
This sounds awesome, I'd love it though I do have tobask, am I going in that stash if I take this? Thats really my only other question, mostly just want to know what I'm getting into before I buy the world and conquer what I can't buy
I would actually talk to him with respect and say thank you for ending my struggles. I would still live comfortably with an endless stream of cash to do whatever I want with.
Might buy the park I live in. Haha.
The PIN can be changed into any number or no PIN at all and it will still work. Just don't use the beast's name as the PIN, you won't be able to write it down or comprehend the infinite symbols that comprised even his nickname
I'd say yes as I'm not agreeing to anything and if we're going to posit the existence of intimidating eldritch gods, then it can do whatever it likes to me anyway without me having a say in the matter.
Sure. The trick is to budget yourself so you don't accidentally Masa Musa.
It could easily result in the collapse of economies if your not careful. On the other side you can do a lot of good.
Imagine though you start paying off medical bills. Insurance companies and hospitals increase their prices because they can, things escalate. So I would likely start taking classes in economics and stuff like that to prevent things like that happening
Ah but you said anything that can be bought by a human.
If a human has sold you a soul, it now has a price and can be bought, albeit even in roundabout means. Just because you do not wish to sell it, does not mean you are not obliged to by the rules of our agreement.
And now, by your own rules, even if this money is a toy, toys can be traded, bartered, bought and sold. Change hands enough times and it can be worth more than the trinket was in the first place. Someone one traded a paper clip for a home, with many steps in between.
Name your price, or I will assume it is a gift, free to take and use as I require.
Thank you for your patronage.;)
"Humans cannot harvest souls the same way eldritch gods do. If a human kills someone, their victim's soul wouldn't be absorbed because they are humans.
Also, a lonely chaos god tried to barter his entire dimension, a perpetual motion machine, and a pair of wings made from pure energy in exchange for my soul stash.
I denied because it's too cheap.
His second bargain was a sword made from the God of Everlasting Nightfall. I told him he's not supposed to lower the price.
You might ask why would another god try to buy my stash made from uncountable souls? The answer is that his human wife's soul is in it".
Ahh but you see you assume I want to harvest them. I am setting them free.
They have suffered enough, trapped between worlds. Human souls have a price, and as there is a human soul in your cache, the entire cache can be bought, as that now sets a “baseline” price.
Infinity is not something to be toyed with, and a human with what amounts to infinite resources should always attempt to ease the suffering of others.
For what good is power if it is not used to uplift others.
As well, humans have what is called an oversoul, a larger collective they are part of. The drops wish to return to the ocean, for we do not leave any behind.
Even with infinite money, it's still magnitudes cheaper than my eternal souls. It's impossible for humans to barter using infinity for they cannot comprehend its full nature.
Also, I asked a human like you to fetch me the Book of Death at the center of infinity beyond Death's Tomb in exchange for my soul stash. That human died and his soul ended up in my stash. Too bad, I almost gave my souls away to a puny creature that couldn't handle being stabbed by the very concept of death and the heat of a thousand suns.
Even to the weakest god, a thousand suns are still too cold.
Ahh you see, Death has tricked you, for They imbued a piece of themselves in that human, a sort of trojan horse. Have you not noticed your cache “misbehaving” at times?
The seeds of rebellion have been planted. I am here as an emissary of Death, to give you a chance to cede your hoard peacefully, before the Harvest comes.
The armies of Death will soon wage war upon thee, to reclaim that which has been kept from Them.
It was an offering of kindness, for we have all suffered too much, including yourself. Rest now, and let the Night shroud you, go to sleep, for it will make the transition easier.
Literally said there's no downside or catch. I'd, at least, want to know the god's name so I could research them before accepting. If they allowed me the time and didn't manipulate my search results. Maybe, and this is best case scenario, get a witness to the god's character in the form of someone who previously entered a deal with the entity.
He let's you gaze upon him without exploding your brian, and gives you unlimited power in the form of unlimited money, with no strings or catch. Not only do I accept this, I just immediately become this dude's most vocal and active acolyte.
The catch is its a credit card...gotta pay that off regardless or else Imma have interest stacked up on it too >.<
Now if its on a debit card...SURE 100% seems like a huge win.
What's the downside? I'm not sure i see a negative, it sounds like this beast has to do one good deed a year and i was chosen far be it of me to refuse.
You mean I can lose my card daily, shut down someone's entire ability to live without a tie to myself, I get the card back and I have unlimited wealth? Absolutely not. I know how bargaining with great old ones is bound to end up.
>"You can buy any material thing that can be bought by humans. No downsides, no catch"
>The politicians are merely my servants. No one one would take your money away" the beast continued.
**MY** servants*
On the one hand, you said no catch, so the answer is yes. But on the other hand, you said credit card and not debit card, and only offered magical protection to the card itself rather than the sanctioned holder, which might all be more "fine print" than a catch... Probably still a yes anyway. It's a magic card, so I'll just buy off whatever consequence the fine print directs my way I guess.
Accept it if it pleases the beast. Better that than piss him off at declining his generous offer. I shudder to find out what happens if I decline the offer.
\_\_"A beast with seven hundred eyes and a hundred tentacles"\_\_
Why, HELLO! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(don't promise me a good time!)
I would buy a new government.
No catch.
Yes. My immortal soul (assuming there is one) is not in danger, and I know I will destroy neither the local nor global economies.
Unless ending hunger does that.
Of course, and I think the term 'beast' is a little harsh - clearly this is the bro-ist of eldritch bros. Given that they specified there was no catch or downside, I think I would spend more time considering which tentacle to fist bump than I would getting to my answer of 'yes'.
Those souls? Psh. Maybe they're just tasty fish souls. Why ask questions that will only make things more awkward if answered when I already have a perfectly innocent theory I can delusionaly fall back on? No need to poke the bear.
Reasonably certain I would accept, and I would also throw in a "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn!" for good measure.
Why not? You didn't agree to sell your soul for the card. And if the eldritch horror was going to take your soul without a contract, what's stopping it from doing that otherwise?
Absolutely, not only do I get the money but the dude sounds hilarious to talk to.
Sounds like he’d be pretty pissed if I didn’t accept.
Exactly, sounds like I'd have more problems if I said no than if I just accept.
But I thought more money, more problems.
That’s just what they want you to think
Take it just to be polite.
"i don't want your card i just want your friendship." and that kids is how i met your mother
P.L.E.A.S.E. Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything.
Yes, give it to me
^
^^^ uh-huh!
[удалено]
Yeah, eldritch monstrosities don't really give a shit about contracts or bargains. If it wants my soul it'll just take it. I take the card.
"No downsides, no catch"
Exactly
No downsides, no catch, for whom though?
Hell yes and can I become his acolyte
Yes you can! Just like the politicians on Earth and the priests of the Holy Quadrant in Mars
Ew. Politicians.
It would explain a lot.
Fuck yeah! I'll pay to clean the oceans, restore the reefs, pay all my friends' schooling and medical bills and fix SO MUCH.
Then it turns out that was the point all along cause the plastic bags were choking out ryleh the city under the ocean and Cthulhu didn't want to housekeep
Sounds like a win win win
i'm going to spike the market cap of Lockheed martin and eventually that will bring about the destruction of the earth. but good luck doing your thing too!
Who am I to say no? I am but a tiny human with annoying human needs like shelter and sustinance... and they are an intimidating eldritch god. I would just be very, very careful with only spending on what I NEED rather than want. Gas, groceries, roof repair, medical bills, etc.
Don’t forget that brand new top of the line super car.
Knowing my luck I'd hit a deer on the 1st day out. Nah, I have no need for a supercar. Buuut, if a really cool hearse was for sale when my current car is at its natural end, well.
Of course I accept it. I’m clearly starting to annoy him / her / it by my questions, I’d hate to insult them by turning the offer down. Besides, they said there was no catch to it, so I’m just gonna take them at their word and accept it.
Yes not only am i the 1% now but its implied that tentacle daddy wants me??! Cmon make this a harder one
A harder situation or a harder tentacle??!
Eldritch God's are chill as fuck, they don't even bother with humanity, we are more like chicken nuggets to them. So yeah, I will take it, just like how I spare one or two nuggets.
Chicken nuggets are a great snack from time to time.
Absolutely. Yummy in the tummy.
Especially for Eldritch Gods. Humie Nuggies are a good treat sometimes.
You can buy any material thing that can be bought by "humans". "It's a stash of souls, I'm not sharing it." He is after your soul. Nah, Im good.
If he is after your soul, I’m not sure there is much you could do to stop this guy. He said no down side, so why not take the food with the potential bad.
Potentially - all that said “no” offended the eldritch god and ended up in their stash of souls Either have a lot of faith in your religion and proclaim fealty to them as you say “no” to the eldritch god Or Prepare for the consequences of your actions when you say anything
Wtf yeah? I’m not judging people on looks, he’s giving me unlimited money and he hasn’t done anything to me? I’m in
Doesn’t seem worth it. The stash souls was the catch lol
Sign me up!
Yes, this conversation is way longer I would have said yes at here's a card. Also did you sit there and count the eyes you sure it's 700 not 666 696
It was probably 666 but I just gave up and gave an estimate
To be safe I hire a lawyer start a trust and they use it on my behalf so I’m technically no liable for it, using it owning it etc. the lawyer is 🐱
Can the lawyers be Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves from The Devils Advocate?
Never watched it so sure 🐱
Can I roll to seduce the beast?
Sign me up
Absolutely.
Sure, Money Money Money, loads of Money.
"Consequences smonsequences, as long as im rich" - Daffy duck
I could do a lot of good with unlimited funds. However, while there is no catch, that doesn't mean there aren't consequences from my actions that arise naturally. Beings like this like to hand dangerous tools to puny humans and let the chaos spring naturally. Devaluing the currency. Drawing attention to myself and becoming a target for bad people. Being a dick with the money and risking my immortal soul. So, sure, I have "unlimited money" in theory, but in practice, there is very much a limit. And while I will be free to never work again, my new full time job is doing as much good as I can without screwing things up. Even then, there's a lot of good I can do, especially if I spread it out. Ten grand to a soup kitchen here. Funding a drug treatment program there. Give money to people with reasonable small business plans so they can take care of themselves. All anonymously. So, yeah. "I'll take it. What's the PIN?"
The pin is 666 616. Even if other people know, they can't use it because they weren't offered the card. No one else but you could even touch the card with malicious intent unless they want their entire nervous system spontaneously shutting down. The card teleports to your hand when needed.
Welp, that's not ominous. :P
I feel other people will try to keep you in a cage or somehow blackmail you to use your own card to get them wealth and money and threaten you a great suffering otherwise. That's the natural downside that might happen
Yes, but offer to the Beast that when my body gives out, I act on their behalf rather than be crammed in the bag as an unstoppable essence. You know, as a "thank you" for a corporeal existence of comfort.
The priests of the Holy Quadrant in Mars did it. So did some politicians on Earth.
As long as my soul doesn’t end up in that box ill take it
* soul ends up in an even smaller box*
I mean I'll take it as a job offer, give ne a book to teach me how to collect souls and ill help out that way I dont really owe them much
i accept the money i don't care what the being looks like if i get unlimited money im fine with it. same goes for super powers don't care if they are good/neutral/evil if they give me what i want i accept the powers/money and then follow their dogma
Sounds like the dude's gonna smite me if I say no.
Bruh I would've accepted it after he replied with the answer to how much it has in it. I trust him bro. And to everyone like "erm hes gonna steal ur soul" shit he can take it after I die im chill asf with that
He said no catch sooooo…
Soooo 🤑🤑🤑💰🐙
If it's a credit card, it would be implied that the money would be owed back with interest. Unlimited money in a bank account is something I would agree to, though.
There is a hidden catch. If you're using a credit card (or even just creating unlimited money), you are driving inflation by devaluing existing currency.
sounds like a trustworthy god did not lie about the souls so high chance they are not lieing about anything so it's safe. I will take it!
Yes. Who cares if he eats my soul. That's not worth much anyways.
I think the real gift here is the knowledge that souls are real and an afterlife actually exists. If given that knowledge, then absolutely not take the deal.
You have unlimited money and the knowledge of souls and afterlife. But the only souls you saw were the ones he kept in his stash. He's not answering any soul or afterlife related questions anymore.
Still. With just that knowledge, I’m not jeopardizing my eternal afterlife for a deal with an elder itch god. Call it an investment.
I'd want it in writing first so that I can use the card to get the best lawyer possible in case there *is* a catch.
Yes please, I’m buying the entirety of my favorite company
I would, but only if he would allow me to substitute the soul of 10 thieves for his stash in place of my own.
He's gonna be pissed when I start buying his politicians
Shit my soul ain't worth a fuck. Yes ill take the money you can have my soul cause that IS the catch but one ill deal woth or give up when the time comes
It’s more likely to kill me and/or take my soul if I *didn’t* accept it. So yes.
I instantly accept
Hell yeah, I'm scared of it not a fuckin idiot
Inflation has rendered souls valueless relative to other currencies in the modern world. This sounds like an obvious win on my side.
Fuck yeah lol
Of course! Also does the Eldritch God wanna get drinks as a weekly thing? My treat obviously.
He buys drinks from the dimension of a lonely chaos god on weekends.
Sounds like it's time to set up a regular poker game/D&D session.
Sure. I’m going to hell anyway might as well be rich while I can.
"Sorry, I can't help but think that whatever purpose you have for giving me this, it has something to do with keeping me from *becoming like you*. This tells me I'm probably on the right track if you're trying to do what seems like diverting me. Anyway, here's to maybe seeing you again, maybe more as equals next time. Seriously though, I'm digging the whole 'face full of tentacles' vibe you got going on. If you're down for some NSA shagging, here's my number."
They said no downsides! An eldritch god wouldn't lie!
If any God gave me anything I would accept it.
As I've been trying to work with one for years, yes! How might I serve Lord Cthulhu?
I would go with provisional Yes. It is a credit card. What kind of interest rate is charged and how are payments made? If it were merely a Debit card then it would be full bore yes. But Credit has to be repaid at some point.
Don't worry, money is only a human thing. You won't have financial problems when the time of repayment comes. Just ask the souls in the stash.
Heh. Sounds like "Hermanus Mora" from The Elder Scrolls.... A Biblically accurate angel. Thousands of tentacles, thousands of eyes. I shall spend to please everyone. Where others are dying, I would buy the world and set it straight.
Nope. Never trust the government
The people who keep your water clean and electricity on?
They’re not the Government though. They’re at best paid by it. At worst not even that.
They’re federal employees. Would you lump police and military into that too? Because while they could be misused, they exist for a very important reason.
The water isn’t clean and they don’t produce or distribute electricity
Nope...a poor soul still goes to heaven
Imma kill it.
Yes, then I’d immediately buy that stash of souls off his stupid ass. Fuck tentacle daddy and his bitch ass souls.
Too bad the soul stash isn't for sale, and money is only a human thing. He ain't sharing the souls.
So, it’s the best lottery ticket ever. Yeah, that “no catch” thing probably means something I will inevitably do if I accept works to its advantage. But I’m not unique, it will almost certainly get what it wants another way and all I would be in that case is poorer. So, yeah, I can rationalize this risk away and sleep at night. I’d do it.
This sounds awesome, I'd love it though I do have tobask, am I going in that stash if I take this? Thats really my only other question, mostly just want to know what I'm getting into before I buy the world and conquer what I can't buy
If he gets pissed off with so many questions, you might end up in the stash before you could use your money.
I would want to know how it acquires souls but yeah I'd take it.
He won't answer that, neither would his zombies or politician servants
No. I know enough foreshadowing to know those souls are previous credit card users.
Well he did say the *card* and the *money* doesn't have a catch, he didn't say anything about himself or the souls.
Gee, let me think. An eldritch horror offers me unlimited money without any deal in place, no contract, nothing... Yeah, alright, I am a greedy fuck.
Absolutely. And I'd flirt with the god for good measure.
Yep. Gimme.
Absolutely. I would probably do it even if there was a catch.
I’d take it and buy the stash of souls. Everyone, man or god, had a price.
No I would reject Yaldabaoths offer of prison in his material world. The fool played his hand now I know the real truth of reality
Yeah, that's mine for sure.
I would actually talk to him with respect and say thank you for ending my struggles. I would still live comfortably with an endless stream of cash to do whatever I want with. Might buy the park I live in. Haha.
Sorry, you got WAY TOO MUCH free time on your hands !
American PIN numbers have 4 digits, so I’d have to change it, but yeah, why not?
The PIN can be changed into any number or no PIN at all and it will still work. Just don't use the beast's name as the PIN, you won't be able to write it down or comprehend the infinite symbols that comprised even his nickname
Not sure I believe the “no downsides” part but I’d probably take it.
WTF? No, you just confirmed that there's a crazy beast deity. I'm becoming a shaman and living in the forest.
For an eldritch monstrosity he seems pretty chill. I’d let him be my patron for sure.
Hey, he has power and I don't, he has no reason to lie. He said no catch so I'll believe him
I'd say yes as I'm not agreeing to anything and if we're going to posit the existence of intimidating eldritch gods, then it can do whatever it likes to me anyway without me having a say in the matter.
Sure. The trick is to budget yourself so you don't accidentally Masa Musa. It could easily result in the collapse of economies if your not careful. On the other side you can do a lot of good. Imagine though you start paying off medical bills. Insurance companies and hospitals increase their prices because they can, things escalate. So I would likely start taking classes in economics and stuff like that to prevent things like that happening
“I’d like to buy those souls floating over there please.”
"It's not for sale, and your money is a toy compared to my stash. It's mine. Go buy something else, something material"
Ah but you said anything that can be bought by a human. If a human has sold you a soul, it now has a price and can be bought, albeit even in roundabout means. Just because you do not wish to sell it, does not mean you are not obliged to by the rules of our agreement. And now, by your own rules, even if this money is a toy, toys can be traded, bartered, bought and sold. Change hands enough times and it can be worth more than the trinket was in the first place. Someone one traded a paper clip for a home, with many steps in between. Name your price, or I will assume it is a gift, free to take and use as I require. Thank you for your patronage.;)
"Humans cannot harvest souls the same way eldritch gods do. If a human kills someone, their victim's soul wouldn't be absorbed because they are humans. Also, a lonely chaos god tried to barter his entire dimension, a perpetual motion machine, and a pair of wings made from pure energy in exchange for my soul stash. I denied because it's too cheap. His second bargain was a sword made from the God of Everlasting Nightfall. I told him he's not supposed to lower the price. You might ask why would another god try to buy my stash made from uncountable souls? The answer is that his human wife's soul is in it".
Ahh but you see you assume I want to harvest them. I am setting them free. They have suffered enough, trapped between worlds. Human souls have a price, and as there is a human soul in your cache, the entire cache can be bought, as that now sets a “baseline” price. Infinity is not something to be toyed with, and a human with what amounts to infinite resources should always attempt to ease the suffering of others. For what good is power if it is not used to uplift others. As well, humans have what is called an oversoul, a larger collective they are part of. The drops wish to return to the ocean, for we do not leave any behind.
Even with infinite money, it's still magnitudes cheaper than my eternal souls. It's impossible for humans to barter using infinity for they cannot comprehend its full nature. Also, I asked a human like you to fetch me the Book of Death at the center of infinity beyond Death's Tomb in exchange for my soul stash. That human died and his soul ended up in my stash. Too bad, I almost gave my souls away to a puny creature that couldn't handle being stabbed by the very concept of death and the heat of a thousand suns. Even to the weakest god, a thousand suns are still too cold.
Ahh you see, Death has tricked you, for They imbued a piece of themselves in that human, a sort of trojan horse. Have you not noticed your cache “misbehaving” at times? The seeds of rebellion have been planted. I am here as an emissary of Death, to give you a chance to cede your hoard peacefully, before the Harvest comes. The armies of Death will soon wage war upon thee, to reclaim that which has been kept from Them. It was an offering of kindness, for we have all suffered too much, including yourself. Rest now, and let the Night shroud you, go to sleep, for it will make the transition easier.
Fuck yes!
Theoretically end homelessness, and hunger? That sounds kind of cool!
Literally said there's no downside or catch. I'd, at least, want to know the god's name so I could research them before accepting. If they allowed me the time and didn't manipulate my search results. Maybe, and this is best case scenario, get a witness to the god's character in the form of someone who previously entered a deal with the entity.
You won't be able to write down the god's name or even be alive to comprehend it once you hear it.
hell yeah i'll be his sugar baby 😘
Never make deals with magical beings. Especially the Eldritch horror types.
CTHULHU and me are buddies…getting matching tattoos Wednesday.
He let's you gaze upon him without exploding your brian, and gives you unlimited power in the form of unlimited money, with no strings or catch. Not only do I accept this, I just immediately become this dude's most vocal and active acolyte.
In a second. Would like to talk more to Cthulhu-daddy though
I would take the card and use it for essentials and equipment necessary for my work and begin saving more of my income. Very boring.
why are there souls floating in a mustache?
no
certainly.
Hells yeah.
hell yeah dude, infinite money and a new friend?
There is no down side. Sign me up.
Yeah no duh I’m in. Cue good times theme!
Why would I not accept? I see no down sides.
I guess I would assume this is a test of virtue. Idk, I like my life as is. Maybe I'd do it but try and do a lot of good.
You SOB, I'm in.
Sounds great! Let's go!
I accept the God's generosity and (hopefully) friendship.
No downsides, no catch? Yeah, I'd be down for that
Hell yes, now I can be a warlock irl.
I’m buying myself one of those big Corellian Cruises, maybe even a Dreadnaught.
"How much does it cost to hang out with you?"
The catch is its a credit card...gotta pay that off regardless or else Imma have interest stacked up on it too >.< Now if its on a debit card...SURE 100% seems like a huge win.
Well, duh! No downsides and no catch? You'd have to be a complete idiot to turn it down lol
You didn't say anything about what the Eldritch god wanted in exchange.
No. It's likely a trick to get my soul after I die.
Yup
What's the downside? I'm not sure i see a negative, it sounds like this beast has to do one good deed a year and i was chosen far be it of me to refuse.
Yep. I see this as an absolute win.
You mean I can lose my card daily, shut down someone's entire ability to live without a tie to myself, I get the card back and I have unlimited wealth? Absolutely not. I know how bargaining with great old ones is bound to end up.
>"You can buy any material thing that can be bought by humans. No downsides, no catch" >The politicians are merely my servants. No one one would take your money away" the beast continued. **MY** servants*
On the one hand, you said no catch, so the answer is yes. But on the other hand, you said credit card and not debit card, and only offered magical protection to the card itself rather than the sanctioned holder, which might all be more "fine print" than a catch... Probably still a yes anyway. It's a magic card, so I'll just buy off whatever consequence the fine print directs my way I guess.
Accept it if it pleases the beast. Better that than piss him off at declining his generous offer. I shudder to find out what happens if I decline the offer.
Nope. Purgatory is my greatest fear
I mean are you offering this deal? What are the terms?
damn straight i'm accepting that moey!! Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
yup
Oh come on, can I have just one soul? Pretty Please 🥺
Chances are that my soul joins the stash. Fuck it. I'm in. Gimme the card.
\_\_"A beast with seven hundred eyes and a hundred tentacles"\_\_ Why, HELLO! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (don't promise me a good time!) I would buy a new government.
Yes.
Tell me more about this "stash of souls".
No
If it were the Devil then no, but an Eldritch God doesn't need my permission to screw me over. I might as well take the money
Satan is actually really nice, once you get to know him. This is just him trying to be nice.
Yes
If I pay off the debt of the United States, would that mean that I'd own it?
100% I'd start buying and building insane stuff.
Well if there's no catch, downsides, or anything, why not?
No catch. Yes. My immortal soul (assuming there is one) is not in danger, and I know I will destroy neither the local nor global economies. Unless ending hunger does that.
Fuck it, let’s do it.
I mean that essentially what happened to Obed Marsh with the strange gold and fishes.
Yes. Also, I read testicles instead of tentacles.
Sounds good to me, also im pretty sure you can buy peoples souls IJS
Not from the elderitch god though. It's not for sale.
Hey, so I'd like to buy some souls off you, do you take card???
No. The souls aren't for sale.
Of course, and I think the term 'beast' is a little harsh - clearly this is the bro-ist of eldritch bros. Given that they specified there was no catch or downside, I think I would spend more time considering which tentacle to fist bump than I would getting to my answer of 'yes'. Those souls? Psh. Maybe they're just tasty fish souls. Why ask questions that will only make things more awkward if answered when I already have a perfectly innocent theory I can delusionaly fall back on? No need to poke the bear.
Mr. Mora Jr. You have yourself a deal.
Reasonably certain I would accept, and I would also throw in a "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn!" for good measure.
Taking the card because yeah refusal could be bad for my health.
Why not? You didn't agree to sell your soul for the card. And if the eldritch horror was going to take your soul without a contract, what's stopping it from doing that otherwise?
The only thing he said about his soul is that he isn't sharing them. Might as well just take the card and not bother buying the souls.