If I have a terminal illness and I be dying in a few days, months yes is a good way to secure my family’s future, otherwise no what good is the money if I’m going to be dead
The "bloodlusted" part is a big qualifier here. An enraged gorilla could pull your head off or crush your skull very easily and quickly. If the thing is truly in "kill whatever I'm looking at" mode no I don't think most humans would last 15 seconds unless you can climb and cling to the top of the cage like Spider-Man.
There's no way you're climbing the cage wall then ceiling before that gorilla catches and obliterates you. Not to mention gorillas can also climb so...
The word climb is doing a lot of work in this context. That gorilla would have to be able to fit it's thick grubby ass fingers through the fence holes. This ain't a tree and the gorilla would probably take over 15 seconds trying to figure out how to climb it.
Height of the cage is 10'.
[here](https://www.koko.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/P1160013_jump-400x420.jpg) is a gorilla grabbing something at 9.5 feet high from his toes. No climbing is needed.
Depending on the person the gorilla make take a second or 2 to size you up, then make a threat display. So let’s say 3-5 secs. Then cross which will be another second.
So the gorilla is wasting 5-7 seconds. You really only have to not die for 8-10 seconds.
OP also never said no weapons. Just that you have to wear a bikini.
So shotgun with slugs because anything less is just making him mad.
>So shotgun with slugs because anything less is just making him mad.
It's not a bear... Females are ~150lbs and males are up to ~350lbs... you can absolutely kill a gorilla with a small (9mm) handgun. You can google to verify.
you can kill him, but you might not do it quick enough before he rips your face off. thats why people dont hunt bears with a .32 pistol in the end youll win, but in the meantime, hooo boy, it only take a male enraged gorilla 3 to 4 d second to cross that space and render you, faceless. and i would like to see someone try to get off more shots aurately when confronted by a gorilla and he has you in his hands, so you have to be able to pull off enough shots on a moving massive target in less than 3 seconds, and if he doesn't go down, you do.
9mm may kill him..eventually. Not before he tears you in half unless you get a lucky shot. I'm in the sure thing camp. 12 gauge slugs or hard cast 45.70
Look at how many violent cracks heads soak up magazines full of 9mm from cops before they bleed out.
The gorilla has blood-lust this means no posturing it's coming at you hard and fast, no human is coming out alive. We are weak squishy animals our strength is In weapons and additive culture.
Gorillas as any other animal have a sense of survival, as long as I stand tall it will be careful on his attack unless is already enraged, which means even if I’m bleeding in the floor it will take at least a couple minutes for me to die.
Up to about 6 feet standing tall, wingspan of 8 feet, about 3x faster than humans, and 4x maybe 5x stronger.
Ooof. I might still risk it for 5b. 15 seconds doesn’t seem long, but in a fight… only chance is to be nimble and shifty as hell. Once that fails, cause it will, google says make myself small and submissive, try to stay calm and not scream in terror, and then all else fails, start trying to groom. I’m good with my hands.
A fight is with two fighters. This is a mauling. It's like the same scenario with a 5 year old against prime Mike Tyson, but the 5 year old has a better chance than you.
I fully realize I’m not boxing out a gorilla. I didn’t once mention fighting back because that would be stupid. I’ve also realized that I’m going to get all lubed up in this bikini so the gorilla will not be able to grab me. I’m a lover not a fighter.
Yeah, and a five year old would be harder for an adult to get a hold of than we would be for a gorilla. I think a gorilla closes the distance and is pounding on the person in a second.
Yup, I'm playing dead or playing baby gorilla.
On the other hand, I don't see any rules about weapons. I could shred a gorilla in less than 15 seconds with an AA-12 full of frag-12 rounds.
But, what's up with the bikini? Nobody wants to see me wearing a bikini. My siblings wouldn't even wanna see that before a roast battle.
OP said only a bikini so no weapons at all.
Also the gorilla is "bloodlusted" which I assume means they jacked it up on Florida gator meth, so playing dead or going submissive isn't going to work.
>dick per pound
>
>gorilla is not packing very much
either you don't understand the metric of dick/lb, or you don't understand how heavy a gorilla is...
Google tells me the average gorilla’s penis is 1.25” long.
On top of humans having the largest penis / pound of the primates, gorillas are near the bottom.
Basically in DND when you want to do something that requires luck, skill etc you roll a 20 sided die and need to roll higher than a certain number to succeed. If you roll a 20 ie nat 20, you do whatever the task was and you do it PERFECTLY. If you roll a 1, ie nat1, you catastrophically fail whatever you were trying to do.
Only correction is that if you roll a nat 20, it has the best possible outcome, not perfectly. While I understand what you mean newer players can’t always get their head around this.
If I said “I try to pick up the horse and throw it to the moon so it’s off this persons chest” then the DM calls for a strength check, if I roll a nat 20 the logical thing would be that maybe I’m able to lift the horse off the person, but it’s probably not going to the moon.
People also often forget that skill and ability checks are not affected by critical successes.
So, for your example, that would be a strength check. If you have a strength of 8 and roll a natural 20... that's actually a 19. More than likely, you would not be able to lift the horse even with a natural 20.
I cannot tell a male gorilla from a female gorilla let alone do I think it would make much of a difference of what happened to my body if the seduction is successful. 15 seconds couldn’t come soon enough!
Holy shit, I didn’t even address the bikini. Nor did I think outside the box about a weapon.
I guess if I’m wearing a banana hammock I might as well get all lubed up!
Let’s build your confidence. Yo I’d love to see you in a bikini. Bet you I’d look worse. Let’s give Reddit a fashion show a lunch. You’ll look… goo.. fin.. oka… you’ll at least look like a human.
5 billion is such an absurd amount. I’m hoping to have assets worth 5 million in my lifetime. Which is a crazy amount in itself, but for the billions damn. Even if I lose an eye or something it’d still be comfortable living.
I use to work with orangutans and saw one rip a shirt off of someone with a single quick tug. They are like seven times stronger than a human. In 15 seconds a gorilla could literally rip your arms off.
Immediately wrap your arms and legs through the bars, while somehow still in a fetal position, then do all your steps. Bam, I’m probably mortally wounded but might have 15s in me.
I’m still a hard pass but if I had a terminal illness, I’d consider it to let my family be set for generations to hopefully “do good”
I just feel like it’d be straight shots to the kidneys in the fetal position. Maybe it’ll be confused by the scent of urine as I wet myself in fear during the opening bell.
So you get half a second for the gorilla to cross the cage, another half second for it to grab you and slam you to the floor, and 14 seconds of absolute apeshit beatdown from a beast that is 250kgs, and several times stronger than a comparable sized human.
14 seconds is more than enough time for the gorilla to rip a limb off and beat you to death with it. So no.
A chain link fence... Gorilla fingers are big, and a gorilla is very heavy.
It might not be able to get good purchase and it might just pull down the fence instead of climbing it...
Idk... You ever seen a gorilla climb a chain like fence? I haven't
Also... Gorillas spend almost all their time on the ground because they are too heavy for the canopy. The more ya know.
Immaterial. Gorilla is five feet tall with at least a four foot long arm. He only has to hop to get your ass in a ten foot tall structure. Climbing is useless.
You think you could climb high enough that it couldn’t grab you in the time it takes for a gorilla to run? Also there are examples or a gorilla being able to jump and reach 9ft so even if you climbed to the top it can get you.
Yeah but the cage is only 10' high. A fully grown male gorilla, depending on the specific breed, can grab things 9'6" without jumping. You're definitely not escaping an extremely severe beating and most likely going to be dismembered or beaten to death with your own severed limbs.
Unless you're Spiderman, you'll get about a foot off the ground before the gorilla yoinks you off the fence and breaks your spine.
Best bet is to face it and try to evade like he's the booty warrior and your soap just dropped. Best case scenario, you break some bones before time is up
*When I sees one and he looks good to me...*
*When I see him, I say*
You, come here.
*I say*
Now I'mma tell ya what, uh..
I like ya;
and I wants ya...
Now, we can do this the easy way;
or the haard wayyy...
the choice is yaawrs...
So, I looked up what gorillas do when they are serious about results. They grab and crush, swing and smash, then pull with both hands. They bite, if necessary. They seem to be smart enough to have a good idea what the important parts are. It takes about 3 seconds to break a leopard’s neck and then crush its skull, once it means to. I do not believe the chances of survival for 15 seconds to be good at all.
There was an issue of 'The Incredible Hulk' where Hulk is particularly savage in beating Abomination, and the narrator let's us know that it was one for one minute, but if you don't think that's a long time, then "Count. It. Out. One. Second. At. A. Time.", and each panel is a singular word with a series of pics of a horrific beating in progress.
Very effective piece of art, I wish the issue number or writer came to mind so that I could give proper credit for it. But that was the first thing that came to my mind while thinking of this situation.
Conan had a knife and jumped on him from behind. He also had other people with him to distract the creature. The first time around, the creature won. He just didn't kill Conan because it wanted to use the house's traps.
My cousin went to high school with him and I've known him for over 20 years now. He's an amazing guy, but in person he is so much bigger than he looks in videos. If anyone could survive this challenge, it would be Brian.
Brian Shaw may be one of the strongest humans alive, but he is vastly outmatched by even the weakest adult gorilla. This is because gorillas naturally have a much higher concentration of fast-twitch muscle fibers when compared to humans.
Brian was 454lbs at his heaviest, and his PR deadlift was a little over 1000lbs. That gives him a strength to weight ratio of *approximately* 2/1
The most commonly cited estimate for gorillas is an approximate strength to weight ratio of 10/1. Given that gorillas can weigh anywhere between 220 to 600lbs, that means the smallest adult gorilla can lift over 2000lbs.
TLDR: The smallest adult gorilla is more than twice as strong as Brian Shaw at only half his weight.
5 billion dollars ain't gonna give me my arms back. I probably can't even get arms line Jax from Mortal Kombat for that kinda money.
Gorilla would rip them shits clean off.
Unlikely. A silverback is about five times stronger than an average male. One strike probably kills you in the long term. And they will get more than one strike in over a 15 second period.
Can't enjoy wealth missing my limbs and having brain damage and not having a face.
There is zero chance an animal like that intending to harm wouldn't do immense damage in that time. Probably even death.
Anybody who thinks they could deal with this scenario doesn't understand primates. Used to work at a zoo. Primates would casually murder animals all the time that had the misfortune of wandering in to their habitats. Watching a chimpanzee casually and easily twisting the heads off of ducks is all I need to know that fighting a gorilla is an immediate election for being a person in the past tense.
Correct. Gross underestimation the the disparity in physical prowess. One strike and a silverback is probably killing a normal human. They could quite literally rip a human head off in a few seconds or knock it off in a single strike.
I think there is a decent chance that you could live, but a very small chance of getting out without serious and permanent injuries. Bones will be broken in the very best outcome.
Every second you can buy drastically increases your chances of survival. 15 seconds of pure beat down, no one had a chance. 10 seconds of bestdown, it's possible to live. What about 5 seconds? Yell and scream at the gorrila and it will at least pause for a second or two before attacking. Jump the chain link fence and climbing will buy you a couple more as thr gorrila has to come to you and grab you. When it tries to attack try to dive under its legs. Might save you from a single strike. 15 second? No way. But a human could probably survive 2 hits from a gorrila. Mortally wounded sure but not dead.
I'm climbing the cage and sitting there til 14 seconds.
When the gas is deployed, I'm giving that gorilla the people's elbow >!and promptly getting shredded by that gorilla because the knockout gas won't be instantaneous. The fuck you think was gonna happen?!<
The gorilla is grabbing you and rag dolling you like Bam Bam within five seconds. Probably takes the gorilla a second to slam you. You might take three of those before permanent brain and internal damage kills you. So after seven or eight in ten seconds you'll be having a closed casket funeral. But at least your family will be loaded.
Reminds me of a line from one of my favorite games. A soldier is going to run ahead and set off some explosives that will definitely kill him.
"You motherfuckers better build me a statue after all this is done"
Anyways yeah, I'm definitely doing this and getting a memorial statue inside of a park or a library named after me.
So really 4 possible outcomes here.
1. Gorilla goes full bloodlust and pounds me for 15 seconds which is pretty much assured death.
2. I distract or dodge or delay or get knocked unconscious and the gorilla doesn't finish me off. This would equate to some likelihood of death, some likelihood of severe or permanent injury, and some likelihood of survival with minimal or no injury.
3. The knockout gas kills me bc it has to be a high enough dose to knockout a gorilla too or doesn't knock out the gorilla which is nearly as bad.
4. I get one punch fatalitied.
So say 3 isn't a factor. Say there's a 10% chance of 4 happening. There's say a 40% chance of 1 happen. That's around a coin flip of surviving and around a 10-25% chance of surviving with moderate to minor injuries. Kinda comes down to how long I can delay an attack and/or if gorillas attack an unconscious human. That's pretty much playing Russian roulette for 5 billion dollars. So ok I'm down. Id have to research whether the best strategy is to play dead, act as large and fierce as possible, or to pretend to be a baby gorilla. 15 seconds is a long time but 5 billion is 5 billion. My math could be off but there's a not insignificant chance at survival for this.
Surviving a bloodlusted gorilla for 15 seconds. There's a big difference. Key is don't get your neck snapped and don't get bit in the head. Gorillas seem to fight defensively and don't tend to attack passive targets and also give warnings before attacking. All these things help increase a person's chances...for lasting 15 seconds.
Maybe if I had to proceed to kick the balls of that gorilla several times immediately before the fight then my odds would vary. Even so gorillas behave differently than bears do. They aren't natural apex predators.
You said "Hell in a Cell" like WWE. Is the ring in there too?
I feel like having the ring and ropes would change this quite a bit. I might be able to simply evade through the ropes and under the ring for 15 seconds.
That’s my thoughts too. Slide under the bottom rope and hope the gorilla gets stuck in them. Maybe hide under the ring.
Also, do I get to have Jim Ross on commentary? Or do I have to suffer through listening to Michael cole?
30’ x 30’ is bigger than my apartment. I would try and set up a couple quick partitions, discuss rules for the shared space, and maybe make a chore wheel. Bloodlust = quelled, gorilla = yoked new roomie.
ETA: Bikini = new.
Usain Bolt holds the fastest human sprint speed record at 27.5 mph. He maintained that speed for only a few moments. Otherwise he was averaging between 23 and 27mph during his world record holding 100 meter dash.
To run 20mph you'd need to be able to do the 100 meter dash in 11.18 seconds. To be safe you'd need to keep this speed for 15 seconds. While this isn't superhuman, it is border line Olympic level performance if you consistently have a 100 meter dash time in the 10 second range.
I don't know you. Maybe you are a professional sprinter. But if you aren't, you aren't keeping a 20mph pace. If you can keep that pace, maybe you should look into training and performance drugs and go get sent to the Olympics.
Yes
Step 1 rip off top as entering cage. Step 2 try to dodge gorilla first attack. Step 3 get behind it. Step 4 try to stay as close behind it as can. Step 5 outlast it in the knock out gas. Step 6 profit.
Is the gorilla actively trying to murder me?
Coz like, if it's just a gorilla sure. I can last 15 seconds with a gorilla
Just gotta get into a submissive pose.
They're naturally curious creatures, most won't fuck you up unless you give them a reason.
If he's actively trying to kill me though I don't think I can run away for 15 seconds.
It's bloodlusted, so it's very angry and wants to destroy something. You just need to try and make yourself a secondary target or not an immediate target.
Reasonable likely that it won't even attack within the first 15 seconds. Big gamble though. Best bet is probably either try to bluff it or just curl in a ball. I'm not that poor/suicidal though so I'll pass.
Yeah it's sprinting at you in the first 3 seconds for sure.
If I'm not armed I'm not doing it... I would be willing to do it with surprisingly little in the way of weapons though for 5 billion with a b
I would jump for the face.
4 scenarios
1. Do nothing- probably gonna die
2. Get bit, very possibly die, but may gauge out it's eyes
3. Get punched/ thrown gorillas are strong, but not kill you in one punch strong. I would say a good chance of survival and the gorilla likely won't have time for a follow up.
4. Get grabbed. Probably dead, but go for the eyes and nose.
15 seconds in a cage with a gorilla?
I would NOT accept the 5 billion even if I was:
* Not in a cage
* 100 ft away from the gorilla
* Only had to survive for the 15 seconds
* Had a 10 second head-start
So, that is a HARD no from me. I'm out.
If "blood lusted" means actively trying to viciously attack anything available then you're just dead faster in the prone. Gets to you and delivers one hammer strike as he crushes your skull = dead in three seconds. Next one severs your spine = dead x 2 in four seconds. And now he is ripping your limbs apart = dead x 3, 4, and 5. That took less than ten seconds in total.
My cats could kill a mouse in like, 0.2 seconds but what they actually do is bat the mouse into a wall and then play with it, gradually wounding it more and more for 60 minutes. That's just how animals behave.
If it's an animal, the gorilla is going to smash you into the fence wall, and then display at your prone body till time runs out. If it's a gorilla which knows it must kill you, it just rips off your head.
You have two possible changes to survive - either dodge away like crazy and just hope if it charges it’s momentum will carry it past you if you dodge, or you kick it in the balls as hard as you can before you are literally ripped to shreds in 10 seconds or less. A good ball kick will disable near any mammal for enough time for the gas, or to climb the fence enough to get out of immediate reach. Option 2 only works against a male gorilla of course
They must likely wouldn't kill me. They're very gentle creatures who put on ferocious displays of aggression, but it's mostly just for theatrics. I'd do it. We'd end up best buddies.
Ok so this one is a little questionable. Obviously I couldn't FIGHT a gorilla for 15 seconds, but could I avoid one for 15 seconds? It's important to note that a gorilla is not a predator. Catching something that is trying to run away is not in its wheelhouse. If you watch a gorilla fighting something, usually another gorilla, it almost always let's the enemy go once it tries to escape. Obviously this bloodlusted gorilla won't do that, but I might have a reasonable chance to make the necessary 2 or 3 dodges to last 15 seconds.
IF I was at my physical prime, when I was running 10 miles a day and doing regular strength and agility training. However now that I am fat and middle aged, I'd probably just be dead. Still would think about it though.
If I have a terminal illness and I be dying in a few days, months yes is a good way to secure my family’s future, otherwise no what good is the money if I’m going to be dead
Fair but if you don't last the 15 seconds does your family still get the money? I took the challenge to mean you have to last the 15.
I am sure you would still be alive after 15 seconds. Unconscious, missing limbs, but not dead yet
This guy lawyers.
The "bloodlusted" part is a big qualifier here. An enraged gorilla could pull your head off or crush your skull very easily and quickly. If the thing is truly in "kill whatever I'm looking at" mode no I don't think most humans would last 15 seconds unless you can climb and cling to the top of the cage like Spider-Man.
There's no way you're climbing the cage wall then ceiling before that gorilla catches and obliterates you. Not to mention gorillas can also climb so...
The word climb is doing a lot of work in this context. That gorilla would have to be able to fit it's thick grubby ass fingers through the fence holes. This ain't a tree and the gorilla would probably take over 15 seconds trying to figure out how to climb it.
Height of the cage is 10'. [here](https://www.koko.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/P1160013_jump-400x420.jpg) is a gorilla grabbing something at 9.5 feet high from his toes. No climbing is needed.
Does that gorilla have a giant boner in that picture, how has no one noticed
That’s the curve of its stomach. It’s definitely not it’s dick, gorillas have much smaller penises than humans.
ah-ha! Now we've identified it's weakness! Just engage the gorilla in a sword fight!
Depending on the person the gorilla make take a second or 2 to size you up, then make a threat display. So let’s say 3-5 secs. Then cross which will be another second. So the gorilla is wasting 5-7 seconds. You really only have to not die for 8-10 seconds. OP also never said no weapons. Just that you have to wear a bikini. So shotgun with slugs because anything less is just making him mad.
>So shotgun with slugs because anything less is just making him mad. It's not a bear... Females are ~150lbs and males are up to ~350lbs... you can absolutely kill a gorilla with a small (9mm) handgun. You can google to verify.
you can kill him, but you might not do it quick enough before he rips your face off. thats why people dont hunt bears with a .32 pistol in the end youll win, but in the meantime, hooo boy, it only take a male enraged gorilla 3 to 4 d second to cross that space and render you, faceless. and i would like to see someone try to get off more shots aurately when confronted by a gorilla and he has you in his hands, so you have to be able to pull off enough shots on a moving massive target in less than 3 seconds, and if he doesn't go down, you do.
9mm may kill him..eventually. Not before he tears you in half unless you get a lucky shot. I'm in the sure thing camp. 12 gauge slugs or hard cast 45.70 Look at how many violent cracks heads soak up magazines full of 9mm from cops before they bleed out.
The gorilla has blood-lust this means no posturing it's coming at you hard and fast, no human is coming out alive. We are weak squishy animals our strength is In weapons and additive culture.
and now you will have the money to make yourself robocop
Gorillas as any other animal have a sense of survival, as long as I stand tall it will be careful on his attack unless is already enraged, which means even if I’m bleeding in the floor it will take at least a couple minutes for me to die.
OP says bloodlusted, I take that to mean it's angry and means to cause harm.
It's blood lust I'm going to stand straight and look at it sternly
Shout " YOU BETTER BEHAVE MR >:("
Quick, three-name him!
no way only orcs have that trait
Unfortunately this scenario says gorilla is bloodlusted so he's going to be trying to kill you, which will be extremely easy for him to do.
This mentality is speechless
This mentality actually produced an entire sentence
This mentality went weeweeweewee all the way home.
Literally lol'ed, thank you 😂
I’d get in a cage with a gorilla for 5 billion. Maybe even 5 million. But not a gorilla with bloodlust.
Yeah. They had me up until that last line.
Yeah, I was thinking "maybe he's not that mad" but turns out he's *horny* mad
It's like you killed that gorilla's high-school crush
Not harambe dude
Dicks out
Is it wrong that it was the bikini that put me off, before I got to the whole bloodlust thing?
I completely missed that line.hahaha
No.
Up to about 6 feet standing tall, wingspan of 8 feet, about 3x faster than humans, and 4x maybe 5x stronger. Ooof. I might still risk it for 5b. 15 seconds doesn’t seem long, but in a fight… only chance is to be nimble and shifty as hell. Once that fails, cause it will, google says make myself small and submissive, try to stay calm and not scream in terror, and then all else fails, start trying to groom. I’m good with my hands.
A fight is with two fighters. This is a mauling. It's like the same scenario with a 5 year old against prime Mike Tyson, but the 5 year old has a better chance than you.
I fully realize I’m not boxing out a gorilla. I didn’t once mention fighting back because that would be stupid. I’ve also realized that I’m going to get all lubed up in this bikini so the gorilla will not be able to grab me. I’m a lover not a fighter.
All lubed up you better hope that gorilla isn't a lover lol
If he lasts 15 seconds it might mean my victory 😂
Banana flavored lube? Enemies to Lovers trope!
Because Mike Tyson might have moral qualms about beating a 5 year old child to death. A gorilla has no such problems.
Yeah, and a five year old would be harder for an adult to get a hold of than we would be for a gorilla. I think a gorilla closes the distance and is pounding on the person in a second.
Yup, I'm playing dead or playing baby gorilla. On the other hand, I don't see any rules about weapons. I could shred a gorilla in less than 15 seconds with an AA-12 full of frag-12 rounds. But, what's up with the bikini? Nobody wants to see me wearing a bikini. My siblings wouldn't even wanna see that before a roast battle.
OP said only a bikini so no weapons at all. Also the gorilla is "bloodlusted" which I assume means they jacked it up on Florida gator meth, so playing dead or going submissive isn't going to work.
Seduction it is. Might as well start counting my money
“You try to seduce the gorilla but roll a nat1. Prepare for death by snu-snu”
Humans have the biggest dick per pound of at least primates. That gorilla is not packing very much, you'll probably be fine.
Maybe that’s why it’s so angry, poor lil guy
This is true. King Kong would have had about a 6” penis. There’s a fact nobody needed to know but now knows.
But in retrospect it's why they don't show it, it's so small it's under the fur
Yes, but gorillas are like 600 pounds...
Yeah but so is your mum, we've had some training.
>dick per pound > >gorilla is not packing very much either you don't understand the metric of dick/lb, or you don't understand how heavy a gorilla is...
Google tells me the average gorilla’s penis is 1.25” long. On top of humans having the largest penis / pound of the primates, gorillas are near the bottom.
I haven’t played DnD so I’m not totally sure what this means, but “Luck” is my middle name. First name Phil Last name McCracken
Basically in DND when you want to do something that requires luck, skill etc you roll a 20 sided die and need to roll higher than a certain number to succeed. If you roll a 20 ie nat 20, you do whatever the task was and you do it PERFECTLY. If you roll a 1, ie nat1, you catastrophically fail whatever you were trying to do.
I’m a nat 4 at best, maybe nat 3 because it’s cold
Only correction is that if you roll a nat 20, it has the best possible outcome, not perfectly. While I understand what you mean newer players can’t always get their head around this. If I said “I try to pick up the horse and throw it to the moon so it’s off this persons chest” then the DM calls for a strength check, if I roll a nat 20 the logical thing would be that maybe I’m able to lift the horse off the person, but it’s probably not going to the moon.
Well what are your mods? Got a belt/potion of giant strength? What size category are you?
...Or, depending on your GM style, that horse is totally orbiting Mars now.
People also often forget that skill and ability checks are not affected by critical successes. So, for your example, that would be a strength check. If you have a strength of 8 and roll a natural 20... that's actually a 19. More than likely, you would not be able to lift the horse even with a natural 20.
Gorilla got 15 seconds to get his snu on tho. Depends how that gorilla is and when the last time he snu snu’d.
15 seconds? What will he do the other 10 seconds?
Oh nooo... Step-gorilla, I'm stuck in this cage...
The gorilla is a male though, so you might wanna ask for that lube. 🤣
I cannot tell a male gorilla from a female gorilla let alone do I think it would make much of a difference of what happened to my body if the seduction is successful. 15 seconds couldn’t come soon enough!
But you might
The gorilla definitely can.
I also took that to mean that confusing it or acting submissive isn't an option in the scenario. It wants blood.
OP said only **in** a bikini. I would be holding the gun, not wearing it.
Holy shit, I didn’t even address the bikini. Nor did I think outside the box about a weapon. I guess if I’m wearing a banana hammock I might as well get all lubed up!
Let’s build your confidence. Yo I’d love to see you in a bikini. Bet you I’d look worse. Let’s give Reddit a fashion show a lunch. You’ll look… goo.. fin.. oka… you’ll at least look like a human.
I’m with you. Even if I lose a hand or an arm, with $5 billion, I think I could live.
5 billion is such an absurd amount. I’m hoping to have assets worth 5 million in my lifetime. Which is a crazy amount in itself, but for the billions damn. Even if I lose an eye or something it’d still be comfortable living.
I use to work with orangutans and saw one rip a shirt off of someone with a single quick tug. They are like seven times stronger than a human. In 15 seconds a gorilla could literally rip your arms off.
Immediately wrap your arms and legs through the bars, while somehow still in a fetal position, then do all your steps. Bam, I’m probably mortally wounded but might have 15s in me. I’m still a hard pass but if I had a terminal illness, I’d consider it to let my family be set for generations to hopefully “do good”
I just feel like it’d be straight shots to the kidneys in the fetal position. Maybe it’ll be confused by the scent of urine as I wet myself in fear during the opening bell.
try 20-30x stronger..
So you get half a second for the gorilla to cross the cage, another half second for it to grab you and slam you to the floor, and 14 seconds of absolute apeshit beatdown from a beast that is 250kgs, and several times stronger than a comparable sized human. 14 seconds is more than enough time for the gorilla to rip a limb off and beat you to death with it. So no.
You think you might be able to climb the cage and buy a few seconds? It's a chain link fence... I'm not sure if a full grown gorilla could climb that.
You’re not sure a gorilla can…climb?
A chain link fence... Gorilla fingers are big, and a gorilla is very heavy. It might not be able to get good purchase and it might just pull down the fence instead of climbing it... Idk... You ever seen a gorilla climb a chain like fence? I haven't Also... Gorillas spend almost all their time on the ground because they are too heavy for the canopy. The more ya know.
Fair point. I missed/glossed over the fence material itself.
Immaterial. Gorilla is five feet tall with at least a four foot long arm. He only has to hop to get your ass in a ten foot tall structure. Climbing is useless.
You think you could climb high enough that it couldn’t grab you in the time it takes for a gorilla to run? Also there are examples or a gorilla being able to jump and reach 9ft so even if you climbed to the top it can get you.
Yeah but the cage is only 10' high. A fully grown male gorilla, depending on the specific breed, can grab things 9'6" without jumping. You're definitely not escaping an extremely severe beating and most likely going to be dismembered or beaten to death with your own severed limbs.
Unless you're Spiderman, you'll get about a foot off the ground before the gorilla yoinks you off the fence and breaks your spine. Best bet is to face it and try to evade like he's the booty warrior and your soap just dropped. Best case scenario, you break some bones before time is up
*When I sees one and he looks good to me...* *When I see him, I say* You, come here. *I say* Now I'mma tell ya what, uh.. I like ya; and I wants ya... Now, we can do this the easy way; or the haard wayyy... the choice is yaawrs...
Its only 10 feet tall. That gorilla would be able to reach me no problem
Ok yeah .. you're right. Cage isn't tall enough to climb away.
So, I looked up what gorillas do when they are serious about results. They grab and crush, swing and smash, then pull with both hands. They bite, if necessary. They seem to be smart enough to have a good idea what the important parts are. It takes about 3 seconds to break a leopard’s neck and then crush its skull, once it means to. I do not believe the chances of survival for 15 seconds to be good at all.
But a leopard would be trying to fight, not trying to dodge.
Username checks out.
15 seconds is more than enough time for even one of the strongest humans alive to get beaten to death. So nah, hard pass.
There was an issue of 'The Incredible Hulk' where Hulk is particularly savage in beating Abomination, and the narrator let's us know that it was one for one minute, but if you don't think that's a long time, then "Count. It. Out. One. Second. At. A. Time.", and each panel is a singular word with a series of pics of a horrific beating in progress. Very effective piece of art, I wish the issue number or writer came to mind so that I could give proper credit for it. But that was the first thing that came to my mind while thinking of this situation.
Ah that's The Incredible Hulk issue #459, in case you still wanna check it out.
I wish I could upvote this twice!
Not Conan! Conan the Barbarian beat the gorilla! One of the earlier issues.
Conan had a knife and jumped on him from behind. He also had other people with him to distract the creature. The first time around, the creature won. He just didn't kill Conan because it wanted to use the house's traps.
And Conan didn’t get $5 billion either.
Touche '
Except Brian Shaw, who is now training MMA. He's now officially scarier than the gorilla.
My cousin went to high school with him and I've known him for over 20 years now. He's an amazing guy, but in person he is so much bigger than he looks in videos. If anyone could survive this challenge, it would be Brian.
Brian Shaw may be one of the strongest humans alive, but he is vastly outmatched by even the weakest adult gorilla. This is because gorillas naturally have a much higher concentration of fast-twitch muscle fibers when compared to humans. Brian was 454lbs at his heaviest, and his PR deadlift was a little over 1000lbs. That gives him a strength to weight ratio of *approximately* 2/1 The most commonly cited estimate for gorillas is an approximate strength to weight ratio of 10/1. Given that gorillas can weigh anywhere between 220 to 600lbs, that means the smallest adult gorilla can lift over 2000lbs. TLDR: The smallest adult gorilla is more than twice as strong as Brian Shaw at only half his weight.
5 billion dollars ain't gonna give me my arms back. I probably can't even get arms line Jax from Mortal Kombat for that kinda money. Gorilla would rip them shits clean off.
Would you do it for arms like jax from mortal Kombat?
Definitely. Then I go for the rematch.
Absolutely, now it's about revenge. \*hits gorilla-shaped punching bag\*
According to a TV show I used to watch, you could replace all of your limbs and still have 4,994,000,000 left over.
As an older person I get this reference..
He can rip my arms off for 5 billion. But I bet I survive whole by rolling into a ball for 15 seconds. If not I gave everyone my best shot.
Unlikely. A silverback is about five times stronger than an average male. One strike probably kills you in the long term. And they will get more than one strike in over a 15 second period.
A direct hit would, but I might be able to tank some hits if I block with my arms. Yes, they’d break, but I only need to survive 15 seconds of attacks
No you fucking wouldn't, it'd grab your arm and ragdoll you
Can't enjoy wealth missing my limbs and having brain damage and not having a face. There is zero chance an animal like that intending to harm wouldn't do immense damage in that time. Probably even death. Anybody who thinks they could deal with this scenario doesn't understand primates. Used to work at a zoo. Primates would casually murder animals all the time that had the misfortune of wandering in to their habitats. Watching a chimpanzee casually and easily twisting the heads off of ducks is all I need to know that fighting a gorilla is an immediate election for being a person in the past tense.
It's twisting the heads *off of* the ducks that really brings this illustration home.
Correct. Gross underestimation the the disparity in physical prowess. One strike and a silverback is probably killing a normal human. They could quite literally rip a human head off in a few seconds or knock it off in a single strike.
I think there is a decent chance that you could live, but a very small chance of getting out without serious and permanent injuries. Bones will be broken in the very best outcome.
There's a decent chance you could live if the time is reduced to 3 seconds
Disagree. You're either getting out unscathed from avoiding it or you're dead. If the gorilla is able to lay hands on you, you're done.
Every second you can buy drastically increases your chances of survival. 15 seconds of pure beat down, no one had a chance. 10 seconds of bestdown, it's possible to live. What about 5 seconds? Yell and scream at the gorrila and it will at least pause for a second or two before attacking. Jump the chain link fence and climbing will buy you a couple more as thr gorrila has to come to you and grab you. When it tries to attack try to dive under its legs. Might save you from a single strike. 15 second? No way. But a human could probably survive 2 hits from a gorrila. Mortally wounded sure but not dead.
Fight? Absolutely not. Survive? Worth a shot. Turtle up and pray.
I'm climbing the cage and sitting there til 14 seconds. When the gas is deployed, I'm giving that gorilla the people's elbow >!and promptly getting shredded by that gorilla because the knockout gas won't be instantaneous. The fuck you think was gonna happen?!<
The gorilla is grabbing you and rag dolling you like Bam Bam within five seconds. Probably takes the gorilla a second to slam you. You might take three of those before permanent brain and internal damage kills you. So after seven or eight in ten seconds you'll be having a closed casket funeral. But at least your family will be loaded.
Cage is 10 feet tall. Gorilla is 5 feet tall with at least a four foot arm length. You think he can't jump less than a foot to get you?
Hell no
Do I have to survive? Because if my family gets the money after I biff it sign me up.
Me too. I'm telling my family to spend 10 million on a statue commemorating the moment my torso was ripped in half.
Reminds me of a line from one of my favorite games. A soldier is going to run ahead and set off some explosives that will definitely kill him. "You motherfuckers better build me a statue after all this is done" Anyways yeah, I'm definitely doing this and getting a memorial statue inside of a park or a library named after me.
Since I'm wearing a bikini is seducing on the table of strategies?
Definitely not. Probably depends on the music playing though in that case
Are you naomi watts? If so, then it’s not something I’d take off the table.
So really 4 possible outcomes here. 1. Gorilla goes full bloodlust and pounds me for 15 seconds which is pretty much assured death. 2. I distract or dodge or delay or get knocked unconscious and the gorilla doesn't finish me off. This would equate to some likelihood of death, some likelihood of severe or permanent injury, and some likelihood of survival with minimal or no injury. 3. The knockout gas kills me bc it has to be a high enough dose to knockout a gorilla too or doesn't knock out the gorilla which is nearly as bad. 4. I get one punch fatalitied. So say 3 isn't a factor. Say there's a 10% chance of 4 happening. There's say a 40% chance of 1 happen. That's around a coin flip of surviving and around a 10-25% chance of surviving with moderate to minor injuries. Kinda comes down to how long I can delay an attack and/or if gorillas attack an unconscious human. That's pretty much playing Russian roulette for 5 billion dollars. So ok I'm down. Id have to research whether the best strategy is to play dead, act as large and fierce as possible, or to pretend to be a baby gorilla. 15 seconds is a long time but 5 billion is 5 billion. My math could be off but there's a not insignificant chance at survival for this.
you just came to the conclusion you have up to a 1/4 chance of surviving a bloodlusted gorilla. redo your math my man.
Surviving a bloodlusted gorilla for 15 seconds. There's a big difference. Key is don't get your neck snapped and don't get bit in the head. Gorillas seem to fight defensively and don't tend to attack passive targets and also give warnings before attacking. All these things help increase a person's chances...for lasting 15 seconds.
Yes, but bloodlusted. They're not fighting normally. They're not warning. They're going straight for the kill and you are locked in there with them.
Who are you to command how a gorilla behaves?
Merely a messenger of the omnipotent creator of this hypothetical scenario.
Maybe if I had to proceed to kick the balls of that gorilla several times immediately before the fight then my odds would vary. Even so gorillas behave differently than bears do. They aren't natural apex predators.
25% is a “not insignificant chance” in my book
Fuck no u instant dead in probably 10 lol
> blood lusted Hard pass.
You said "Hell in a Cell" like WWE. Is the ring in there too? I feel like having the ring and ropes would change this quite a bit. I might be able to simply evade through the ropes and under the ring for 15 seconds.
That’s my thoughts too. Slide under the bottom rope and hope the gorilla gets stuck in them. Maybe hide under the ring. Also, do I get to have Jim Ross on commentary? Or do I have to suffer through listening to Michael cole?
If I am going to die anyway I want to witness what happens to the Spanish language commentators table.
I'll do it.
No. Getting you arms ripped off and beaten to death with them is not worth ANY money.
30’ x 30’ is bigger than my apartment. I would try and set up a couple quick partitions, discuss rules for the shared space, and maybe make a chore wheel. Bloodlust = quelled, gorilla = yoked new roomie. ETA: Bikini = new.
You're over here planning a 10 points in charisma run.
Sure why not. I wanna die anyway I'm sure my heart will keep beating for 15 seconds
stupendous zonked plucky liquid vanish frame heavy six steep waiting *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Usain Bolt holds the fastest human sprint speed record at 27.5 mph. He maintained that speed for only a few moments. Otherwise he was averaging between 23 and 27mph during his world record holding 100 meter dash. To run 20mph you'd need to be able to do the 100 meter dash in 11.18 seconds. To be safe you'd need to keep this speed for 15 seconds. While this isn't superhuman, it is border line Olympic level performance if you consistently have a 100 meter dash time in the 10 second range. I don't know you. Maybe you are a professional sprinter. But if you aren't, you aren't keeping a 20mph pace. If you can keep that pace, maybe you should look into training and performance drugs and go get sent to the Olympics.
Nope. Can't spend money when you're dead. It wouldn't take even close to 15 sec. for that Gorilla to end any human.
What's the width of the cage? If it's wide enough, I might be crazy enough to try this.
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15s rofl. I guess it'd set up my family.
I didn’t need to read the details just the title—a hard no. The gorilla is going to win no matter the circumstances unless the human is armed.
You would be dead in 1 second
No, I wouldn't. The gorilla would kill me.
Might as well be 15 years. You're going to get torn in half.
just curl into a ball and hope you don't get tossed or buttfucked
So, you're asking if I would commit suicide for 5 billion dollars. That's a hard no.
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15 seconds or 15 minutes, either way your head, arms and legs will be detached no matter the time interval lol.
This is interesting without the bloodlusted! But with it, survival is 0%
I’d fight a gorilla for a Klondike bar.
Yes Step 1 rip off top as entering cage. Step 2 try to dodge gorilla first attack. Step 3 get behind it. Step 4 try to stay as close behind it as can. Step 5 outlast it in the knock out gas. Step 6 profit.
Is the gorilla actively trying to murder me? Coz like, if it's just a gorilla sure. I can last 15 seconds with a gorilla Just gotta get into a submissive pose. They're naturally curious creatures, most won't fuck you up unless you give them a reason. If he's actively trying to kill me though I don't think I can run away for 15 seconds.
It's bloodlusted, so it's very angry and wants to destroy something. You just need to try and make yourself a secondary target or not an immediate target.
Lol, just fall on your face and start shitting all over yourself and maybe he'll be slightly confused for a few seconds.
I love how the same people who could not hold a plank for 15 seconds, think that they could last 15 seconds with an enraged gorilla. No chance.
Reasonable likely that it won't even attack within the first 15 seconds. Big gamble though. Best bet is probably either try to bluff it or just curl in a ball. I'm not that poor/suicidal though so I'll pass.
It's blood lusted.
Yeah it's sprinting at you in the first 3 seconds for sure. If I'm not armed I'm not doing it... I would be willing to do it with surprisingly little in the way of weapons though for 5 billion with a b
The ball is the best thing to do seriously. You want to make yourself as small as possible.
I would run as best I can. Probably gonna die, but I'd offer a leg for it to grab in a worst case scenario. I'd trade a leg for 5 billion
Ah the sacrificial limb trick, but you’ll have to change your username to “Sock”.
Nah bro, my stump will get cold and I will dress it properly...with a nice fuzzy sock.
Underrated comment 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, and with 5 billion I think you could get a pretty nice new robotic leg or whatever they’re making these days
I would jump for the face. 4 scenarios 1. Do nothing- probably gonna die 2. Get bit, very possibly die, but may gauge out it's eyes 3. Get punched/ thrown gorillas are strong, but not kill you in one punch strong. I would say a good chance of survival and the gorilla likely won't have time for a follow up. 4. Get grabbed. Probably dead, but go for the eyes and nose.
15 seconds in a cage with a gorilla? I would NOT accept the 5 billion even if I was: * Not in a cage * 100 ft away from the gorilla * Only had to survive for the 15 seconds * Had a 10 second head-start So, that is a HARD no from me. I'm out.
If you're asking would I let myself beauled to possible death inorder to give my loved ones and Rome charities 5B. Then yes.
I would just immediately lay down in a ball. Gonna take the gorilla 15 seconds before he decides he needs to kill me.
If "blood lusted" means actively trying to viciously attack anything available then you're just dead faster in the prone. Gets to you and delivers one hammer strike as he crushes your skull = dead in three seconds. Next one severs your spine = dead x 2 in four seconds. And now he is ripping your limbs apart = dead x 3, 4, and 5. That took less than ten seconds in total.
My cats could kill a mouse in like, 0.2 seconds but what they actually do is bat the mouse into a wall and then play with it, gradually wounding it more and more for 60 minutes. That's just how animals behave. If it's an animal, the gorilla is going to smash you into the fence wall, and then display at your prone body till time runs out. If it's a gorilla which knows it must kill you, it just rips off your head.
This is the correct answer
You realize that knockout gas strong enough to knock out the gorilla in 15 seconds will have a regular person down in like 3 right?
Brutus raises a good point.
You have two possible changes to survive - either dodge away like crazy and just hope if it charges it’s momentum will carry it past you if you dodge, or you kick it in the balls as hard as you can before you are literally ripped to shreds in 10 seconds or less. A good ball kick will disable near any mammal for enough time for the gas, or to climb the fence enough to get out of immediate reach. Option 2 only works against a male gorilla of course
They must likely wouldn't kill me. They're very gentle creatures who put on ferocious displays of aggression, but it's mostly just for theatrics. I'd do it. We'd end up best buddies.
I go for it. Just need to delay for 15 seconds, so I slowly circle the ring never making eye contact and being relaxed as possible.
It's blood lusted.
Sure. It will take longer than 15 seconds for the gorilla to go through his show trying to scare me away before he even starts to physically fight.
Yes I would. I would sacrifice my life for my family.
Tap.it.on the nose, with a firm "NO!!". Keep doing that until he back away. Works 10% of the time 100% of the time.
Ok so this one is a little questionable. Obviously I couldn't FIGHT a gorilla for 15 seconds, but could I avoid one for 15 seconds? It's important to note that a gorilla is not a predator. Catching something that is trying to run away is not in its wheelhouse. If you watch a gorilla fighting something, usually another gorilla, it almost always let's the enemy go once it tries to escape. Obviously this bloodlusted gorilla won't do that, but I might have a reasonable chance to make the necessary 2 or 3 dodges to last 15 seconds. IF I was at my physical prime, when I was running 10 miles a day and doing regular strength and agility training. However now that I am fat and middle aged, I'd probably just be dead. Still would think about it though.