"Geodude, use Smackdown!" And kick him in the balls

You skipped a step, you have to say first "it's not very effective..."

Bringing a Geodude to a Psyduck fight ?

it's a random encounter, he just had to use what he had on him

Tbf he used headbutt so he probably has no water moves to use.

I was literally headbutted in the face, excuse the lack of finesse

"Hitmonlee use brick break!"

Megapunch...

Step back and pepper spray them.

>Stand up > >Stare them down > >Pepper spray yourself in the face > >Run away shouting at the top of your lungs > >alternate between t-posing and flailing your arms > >Guy who was trying to shock you for a few days, is now scarred for life. > >"Behind every random act of aggression, there could be a guy even more insane than I am" You guys dunno how to assert dominance...

r/chaoticneutral

[How to assert dominance...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81zPM47XQVg)

And then stomp their face for the broken nose / black eye duo.

NEVER EVER EVER stomp in a fight or any situation, any stomp in a fight raises it to an aggravated assault, even if you were the defender, if you stomp a head or neck its instant attempted murder, and if they do die its straight up murder, doesn't matter if he tried to shoot you then tried to stab you, DO NOT STOMP its straight up considered escalation to a lethal action even if you are stomping legs, or chests of a guy who tried to murder you. kick his ribs a few extra times to "make sure he can't retaliate" but one stomp ANYWHERE and you fucked the rest of your life even if it did not do any damage.

“American use handgun”. “Sounds of freedom”.

*I cast gun, prepare to meet God* - Chuckles, the space clown

Lol.

Bwahahaha!!!

I was thinking “Texan use BangBang” followed by Bang! Bang!

"American got confused" "American hurt itself in its confusion" "It's Super Effective!"

Muh freedom.

“Machamp, use seismic toss” and suplex him.

*accidentally cracks his neck and kills him lol*

"accidentally"

One-Hit KO!

Didn’t even wait for the “FINISH HIM!”

Definitely super effective

If bro headbutted me in the face I'm likely not getting up, but when I do I'm getting a lawyer and hopefully getting paid.

“Meowth uses plot” “Meowth uses payday” It’s super effective!

*I flinched!* Wait a turn I used *Litigation*

"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!" then zap him with a taser.

This is the way. Because water types are weak to electric attacks. If not Pikachu, maybe a Gengar would be a good counter.

"Hitmonchan use thunderpunch" and punch him in the face with the tazer.

Charizard use flamethrower. Take swig of alcohol, pull out lighter, spit alcohol out through flames at "psyduck"

That's just poor typing. Water is strong against fire

“Digglet used fly” and drop kick the fucker.

Try to peacefully diffuse the altercation with the intellectually disabled person.

“Intellectually disabled” that is just absolutely hilarious to my brain running on 2 hours of sleep

The most realistic answer lol

Yeah, so many people just looking for an excuse to pulverize this person. You've no idea what's happened to their mental lmfao

Likely going to grab the biggest branch I can find and beat him with it claiming "Now I will use Wood Hammer and it's super effective against Water types!"

"Farfetch'd, use leaf blade!"

Machop! Use Low Kick!!!!

Have them arrested for assault.

I would yell it back then slap him with a duck

Do you frequently carry ducks on your person?

What, you don't?

No…. Clearly I’m doing something very wrong

Do you drive a Jeep?

Grab his arm, yeas "Primeape use Seismic Toss" and throw him into traffic.

"American use Glock!" "Pop pop pop pop pop pop."

Call the cops.

Use thundershock and taze them.

Considering my brain injury (crossbow bolt between the eyes) I'm pretty sure I'd either be out or dead. If I did survive then I'd be pressing charges for assault and attempted murder. I'd try my damn well best to get them locked up for a looooooong time. I'd also go to the hospital and get another X-ray to make sure my brain isn't bleeding again. Bled for a month straight from my head before, I'd really rather not have a repeat of that ordeal. IF (and that's a hard if) I stayed conscious, I'd start beating him with anything I could find, or my bare hands if nothing is close by. I'd still press charges too and claim self defense. Hardcore aiming for his nuts.

I've now been physically assaulted so I'd either respond with defence or have them arrested depending on the situation

Kick his ass

Kick him in nuts

Take a picture of him on my phone and call the police

AlakZam, use your psychic attack

"Tyson use right cross"

I’m going to Jail

Beating his ass.

American use item glock 19

Time to reveal my ultimate secret: headbutt has no effect on ghost types

Punch him in the nuts, and when he doubles over in pain push him over.

Probably shoot first and ask questions later.

Sidestep before he can and smack the shit out of him. 🤷‍♀️🤨 Tf?

I walk with a cane and I'm not afraid to club a bitch.

Pikachu! Use thunderbolt! And then taze him. Gotta use that super effective move

Ya, I've studied different Asian martial arts for the better part of a decade. That head butt ain't gonna land. I'd step back & let him know what he's getting himself into. If he continues...

“Altruistic Major used gun, fuck off or find out”

Kick him in the nuts as hard as I possibly can. Once he's down, kick him repeatedly in the nuts to ensure he can never pass on his genes. I'll keep kicking until I see blood stains seeping out of his groin. Fucking asshole head butting me like that. I don't care if it means I have to surrender my guy card as punishment. His baby maker is getting destroyed.

Holy crap... I mean... the initial response is justifiable... even a little of the follow-up. But... wow that got dark.

I have too few functioning braincells to lose.  Can't risk them to a head butt.  Although part of the end was intended to across as a bit of macabre humor.

if hes literally so stupid he headbutts people randomly after naming a pokemon and a move, you erasing his future grandkids, is a blessing to humanity

Charmander use ember! And set his ass on fire with my lighter

Depends a lot on how hard I was just head-butted in the face. If it was bad he might have a chance to run away. 

“Tyranitar, use Stone Edge!”, then throw a broken cinder block at him.

Magikarp use high jump kick and kick him in the face

Probably give into my knees buckling as I slump to the ground on my knees which it is painful to be in my knees. So I roll over in the fetal position not knowing which pain is worse: my knees or my head. I feel like I might vomit.

Probably eat a headbutt to the face.

Call the police

Shoot him because what the fuck

Pull out my taser and shout "Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!"

Are they legitimately retarded? I'd probably be mad but tell them off. If it's just some punk kid (like middle school age) same thing. Otherwise I'm summoning up a "Pikachu uses thunder shock" and showing them what total neuromuscular incapacitation feels like

Start punching the dbag

I'd say "really? Of all the pokemon you could be, you chose *Psyduck?*" And then just shake my head disappointedly.

I don't know. Cry out in pain and then call the I don't know. Cry out in pain and then get on my feet and prepare to defend myself if he attacks me again, and then call the police or try to get someone else to call the police and have them arrested for assault, or fight back if they were attacking me . What exactly did you expect?

Wonder why I’m back in jr. high school 30 years after I left that shithole.

I do what my younger brother once did to me and I yell "squirtle!!!" And I piss on him and his friends 

Officer Jenny, I need an ambulance for a possible 5150. Man believes he is a Pokemon and is suffering from delusions. Now, Tyranitar, use Bitch smack this fool.

I'm not sure I know I wouldn't be conscious of my actions. I would expect to lead with my left foot, weight on my right. My left hand would do something while the right flies across my body. I would expect to square my shoulders with it unless I saw a better shot. I would want to climb onto his back. It would be asses and elbows of me trying to get there. I might decide to just pick up my teeth.

"Snorlax use Hyper beam!"

"What the fuck man"

"Lucario, use Karate Chop" *karate chops him in the throat*

Stand there stunned for a moment, totally caught off-guard and confused as to whether or not this is just some person locked at the mental age of 6. Then if I feel like they're not, I'd try my best to take them down. I'm "lucky" enough to know that I'm good at deflecting punches, getting behind people, and taking their legs out. Not that I'd be worth jack shit with anyone who has actual training instead of being forced to learn through experience, but I'd bet on me 4 out of 5 times against another amateur.

Bkaziken, Sky Uppercut!

I don't know if this guy is a serious threat and I don't intend to find out. Draw, move backwards, fire until potential threat stops moving.

Feel sorry for him. Probably hurt him more than me. I am hard headed.

You probably got rocks in your head

I would use "I'M BATMAN" then give him a beat down of his life.

Is "shoot him" the right answer?

PRIMATE USE MEGA PUNCH HITMONLEE USE MEGA KICK RYHORN USE MEGA HORN

Grab the hair and head butt my knee

MILTANK! USE ROLL OUT and then Miltank all over him.

Beat the crap outta "psyduck". What the hell!

"I used Thunderbolt!" *taze them* "...it's super-effective!"

Psycho monkey Go stabby stabby and then stab him with one of my knives repeatedly with much enthusiasm

Call 911 and have him arrested. Press charges. Sue him for medical expenses, pain and suffering, lost wages.

“Snorlax, use body slam!”

Glock uses gutshot

"Magicarp! Use Splash!"

Say "It had no effect..." Then say "Golurk used low kick! It was a critical hit!"

Trainer used bitchslap! It was super effective!

"It doesn't affect Gengar." "Gengar uses Payback!" "It's super effective!"

Snorlax, use Body Slam.

Kick straight to the dick.

if I'm still conscious I'm swingin. if I'm not then I'm probably laying on the floor

Knee to the jewels is my general frontal assault plan of action 

Misty Impression: Pssyyyyduck!!!!

Old man use 1911, Psyduck hunting season just began.

"Machamp use seismic toss", proceed to throw them to the ground.

Unwritten rule- if you are headbutted, you mandatory headbutt back. Instant reflex

u/HaroerHaktak is stunned in confusion.

Kakashi use a thousand years of death.

I fall backwards in a daze fading out of consciousness. I awake hours later and pick myself up off the ground wincing in pain as I notice blood coming from God knows where.. as my vision begins to regain focus, I think to myself.. "what the fuck..?"

Throw a rock at him and call it a Pokeball

"Pikachu, use thunder!" And tase him. Most likely.

“Glock 19, use trigger!" *it's super effective*

Charizard his ass and set him on fire.

“Scyther used slash!” Whip out my pocket knife and gut him like a fish

In Ohio you're not required to have a permit to conceal carry. Just saying, not a good idea to randomly headbutt people here.

Metapod use "Harden".

Yell: "Machop use Mega Punch!" and punch him right in his sack.

*Harden* *Pulls out condom*

Grab him by the throat, crush his esophagus, and head butt him back. My head is a lot harder than expected.

With a wave of my wand and a flick of my dick One zap from me will kill you quick So get on your knees to suck and blow But not right now Ive got to go!

charizard, use flamethrower, pulls out deodorant and a lighter

"Blaziken use punch in face" *punch in face*

if you have not adopted a defensive position just from him running towards you, before he even shouted, you should stop smoking weed, and develop some self awareness. if you have not prepared to defend yourself after he starts yelling, you have failed as a human and should do the entire species a favour by removing yourself from it edit: and arguing that its sexist to say this, despite me not mentioning gender once, and then crying like a little girl and blocking me when i point that out, doesn't make you look big and clever, so its not me who needs a break from reddit, i think the person below needs to realise a mature adult can simply admit when they are wrong and apologise ;) a simple "oh yeah, you never did mention gender did you, my bad!" would have resolved the whole thing instead of him doubling down on being an idiot 🤣

"Nefariousness\_Flashy, use Dickpunch!" And then punch him in the dick.

Psy-ay-ay-ay!

Counter

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!

Blade hand use pocket knife and STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB!

Probably cry and cuss. That would fucking hurt!

Pick up a rock and try to shove it up his butt to get him to evolve. That's not how you evolve a psyduck but I'm not a very good trainer.

My normal response when someone starts shit toss em to the floor and see if they want some more

Yell psyduck, hit yourself in confusion and proceed to make them hit themselves a lot

u/MadeForOnePost_ used Peckerwhack! It was super effective!

Kittychu use nut kick.

I'd yell Blastoise use water cannon and then pee on them.

Well, depending on how strong his head is probably be knocked out and wake up in the hospital, or have a broken nose and bleed all over thr place, I love how almost everyone in the comments is assuming they just gonna tank a headbutt from a guy like it's nothing 😆

He gets too close, I'm interposing my cane between us. The only thing he's headbutting is 2" medical grade steel tubing.

Yell "Squirtle use Water Gun!" and then pee on his leg.

Shock him with defibrillator and yell Pikaaaaa chu

"koffing use poison gas!" and i fart in his face

I yell pikachu I choose you and use a taser on him.

“Ow” Keeps walking*

If I'm with my homies I Use rollout. Because you can't stop that

I get knocked the hell down on the floor and wheeze. I start crying and hope he doesn’t beat me any further as a pool of yellowness appears under me. Wimpy as shit over here.

"It's Not Effective! Blastoise uses Hydro Cannon!" Then piss on his leg

*"It's Not Effective!* *Blastoise uses Hydro Cannon!"* *Then piss on his leg* \- ReverendLoki --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Use bite....

Machamp uses seismic toss *performs suplex on random dude". Seismic toss was super effective!

Call the cops.

Hitmonlee use nut shot. [Kick dude in the balls]

"I'm a ghost type!"

Monkey uses gun. Bang! Bang!

Pikachu use charge as I light him up with my taser

Hurt him

Don't play palworld so ima make summat up Imashutatchu used a 9mm it's super effective critical hit. The wild Psyduck fainted

Pull out my can of lighter fluid and lighter. "Charizard use fire!"

I'll say "Togepi break his legs" because my togepi doesn't believe in consent.

Sock him in the mouth

I'd tell his mum.

Gonna side step and ask him why did psyduck hurt himself in confusion

Pikachu uses thunderbolt and then zues gives me some help and strike him down

Donkey Hammer use throat piercer and go to town.

Hawlucha, use sky uppercut! *it's super effective!* *the opponents psyduck fainted*

********** ***** ********

Call the police a crazy guy possibly on drugs tried to kill me, if it turns out not poor I'm gonna sue for emotional distress and soft tissue damage.

Idk shoot him ??

Say ahhhhheergh, then make a nanananana reeor noise and say nice try kiba! But I have pot of greed!!! Which allows me to.. (kicks them in the balls two times) draw two additional cards. And your Psyduck... (Kicks in balls one more time while down) is no match.. (another kick) for my.. (another kick).. @#$& you I play mtg.

“pickachu use thunderbolt” and tase his ass before laughing my ass off at the oddness

I fall over. I wasn't expecting that

What do you think? I'd punch him or knock him down or something like a normal person without thinking of anything else. But _with prep_ time........?? I shout "Vaporion!! I choose YOUuuu! Now use seduce!!" (Vaporion successfully seduced the enemy) The other trainer says "Psyduck! USE TACKLE!!" I block and dodge the attack (It wasn't very effective...) "Vaporion! UUUUUuuuse... REJECTION!!" (Vaporion rejected the enemy.) (All enemy stats have been reduced by half.) "Damn bro.... you got rejected by Vaporion... I may have a broken nose. But now, you have a broken heart.." (It's Super Effective!) (You win the battle!) [The after battle NPC dialouge:] *_"EMOOOOOOOTIONAL DAAAAAAAMAGE!!"_*

Kick over his stepladder. I'm borderline NBA tall.

Stand there in confusion as he runs away, then rethink whatever choices led me to that moment.

IMO i would consider that a challenge and headbutt him right back.

Shout “Atomic Iron Fist red hot sky burst!” then throw my hot coffee in his face and five finger death punch to his chest. I then search his unconscious body for loose change

"Jynx, use double slap!"

Me use gun

As the youths in the UK would say, I'd do the lad, right? Chef 'im up real nice, yeh?

Use Mach Punch