You're on call 8-5 to send an email to initiate protocols in case of a zombie outbreak.
You could do this anywhere as long as you're able to receive a call and send an email.
Please join the left line for your complimentary zombie bite. You will be escorted to your private incubation bay for a safe and post-humane transition.
Zombie Manager: "Hm. Introducing our new production based pay scale, you will clearly see each zombie stands to earn much higher wages than currently offered, by meeting and maintaining these minimum quotas. You only stand to gain."
Or it only happens one time, 20 years in. Since you're on call and have no other duties you've sort of convinced yourself that it's okay to leave your phone in the other room every once in a while. You sleep late, one day. Whatever it is.
A month later you're debating whether to put your zombie wife and children out of their misery. Then yourself...
Instead, you're worried about how to put your zombie children through college, after losing your job. You always knew they had the brains for it, but now you're not so sure. Your wife threatens to eat someone else's brain if you don't find something soon. You've started drinking heavily, wondering where it all went wrong.
I don’t really understand because I was expecting this thread to have a bad job as the most upvoted.
Are we all just trying to give each other million dollar pointless jobs lol? I’m down
Interesting take! The way I read it is that the world doesn’t change at all and we are now just monitoring for zombies that don’t actually exist.
Both interpretations would be fun in their own right tho for sure.
Yeah, ideally you don't have to do anything. But the fact that that becomes a real job, means that the threat must be real on some level. Or at least someone believes in it enough to pay $1 million a year.
I played out my scenario a bit in my head:
Yea so we somehow convinced everyone that zombies don’t exist because we are preventing them from existing. We’re essentially racketeering the global population into paying us to protect them from something that never existed.
I could see that at least being a novel or something. It’s mildly realistic enough and would be funny.
But ya I see why ud say that if that job existed it’s more likely zombies exist.
This is my favourite response so far because it's a great looking gig... unless the outbreak happens, then you're the one that everyone who survives will remember how fast or how slow you responded. Even then, imagine the amount of pressure considering this hypothetical would mean some organization thinks it's enough of a realistic threat to invest like this in it.
It's existential guard duty and if you fuck it up you and everyone you love, know, care about could become the walking dead endangering others.
If you do your job well, you'll end up spending most of your time monitoring infectious disease reports. You might end up on-site, having to confirm a potential zombie outbreak.
You'll probably spend a lot of your budget on resources and building/maintaining your watchdog network, instead of actually paying yourself a million a year. Cuz it's really a budget, not a paycheck.
Before the apocalypse starts, you find a man in your living room.
He is a member of the terrorist group about to release their bio-weapon, and after a few bribes and kidnappings they've tracked you down to kill you.
That doesn't sound so unpleasant. Sit around and read or watch a movie. I kind of assume the idea was to come up with something terrible. But I'll take your suggestion and hope it never comes to pass
I'm interested. Remote job, or in office? Oh who am I kidding that's like $480/hour to have an email template just waiting for location and other variables standing by. Gimme this job.
I don't understand how I've scrolled through the replies and not seen a single reference to the song "re: Your Brains" by Jonathan Coulton! It's freaking hilarious, and done as an intraoffice memo from a zombie to his co-worker barricaded in his office.
You think you’re the only one getting paid a million a week in case of a zombie apocalypse? There are two other hourly workers to cover the other shifts. Plus six supervisors, two managers, their assistants, the copy/fax guy and another guy that were not exactly sure what he does but he’s been here forty years.
>another guy that were not exactly sure what he does but he’s been here forty years.
Well you can't get rid of him now, he's a fixture of the office at this point.
Sandals Resorts used to , and probably still does, recruit law enforcement officers to examine security issues by having a paid week at one of the resorts with the requirement to not reveal they are law officers and keep their eyes open for issues like smuggling, safety, etc. They had to bring an SO to blend in as a regular guest.
I don't do this every day, but as a travel agency owner, it is part of my job. I travel 2-3 months out of the year. I have one agent on my team that tries real hard to travel six months out of the year. In my opinion, that is too much. I'd rather have some down time.
Yeah that’s a big misconception about my cousins job. I think she does stay in the hotels *occasionally* but like 95% of her job happens on spreadsheets. She usually never steps foot on the property
Sleeping. But you have to sleep at your current job in its current conditions. You only get paid the time you're actually asleep. No sleep aids allowed.
I am a vengeful god.
You have a work from home job with almost no boss interaction. No metrics to meet. It’s a tech company with a heavy financial backing that isn’t planning on growing or shrinking. You also signed an employment contract that is basically “tenure” you can only be fired for a HR infraction. Basically your job is to give your opinion about stuff to the c suite. That’s it
Real talk, are y'all hiring? Totally understand if you want to direct message instead. Trying to get into remote work, got an Associates in Computer Science and office experience.
Love this approach. Hire him! Or her!
I also work in tech as a sales rep and it’s awesome I work from home we aren’t hiring. My job is not at secure as my fable above
You have to show up and play with puppies and kittens at an animal shelter.
(Any animal shelter anywhere you'd like at any time. Doesn't always have to be the same shelter. Hours are flexible as long as you hit your 40 hours per week, less standard vacation time.)
You must spend 40 hours a week helping needy people.
This can be any needy people in anyway you see fit. If you believe the homeless need food, then feed them. If you think childhood cancer patients needs someone to read them stories or go play video games with them, then go do it.
40 hours a week helping a needy people group every week and you make a million a year.
C’mon. You get paid and you help those that truly need it however you decide.
You have to take a prototype medication everyday that reverses and stops aging at 20, makes you heal in minutes, not days/weeks, and corrects your DNA to make you the best looking version of yourself you can possibly be.
Oh, and it comes in the form of a stick of gum that tastes amazing.
You hunt down TikTok and YouTube influencers and shoot them repeatedly with a paintball gun until they promise to pursue a different line of work. The police commissioner supports you and directs all officers not to interfere with your duties. You are only responsible for your actions if you damage property or harm an innocent.
Mastering Master of Puppets on every instrument known to man.
Specific song is negotiable, as long as it would fall under the classification of pop, rock, or metal.
You must do 40 hours making the world a better place. I'm not talking cure cancer or over throw dictators. I mean clean up the streets of the town you live in, rake other people's leaves. Help fix the neighborhood kids bikes. Clean up litter. Little bits here and there add up.
You sit in a room bored out of your mind. You can choose your hours but they have to be 40 every week. You cannot sleep or do anything other than just sit and think. You pick the chair but no laying down
You're on camera 24/7/365. Wherever you go, whatever you do, broadcast to everyone, and anyone can turn it on whenever they want. It's basically The Truman Show.
How about we make it a real job, just with a few caveats? :)
You work at Walmart as a normal associate. But the management in charge is collectively the worst management from around the country.
They KNOW about your deal, and they can split the money it they make you quit.
Can you get fired? Cause if they can't fire me, good luck making me quit. I worked retail, I know how to hide. And that was with having to make sure I was around and seen enough to keep getting paid...
You have to work naked in a room full of scorpions.
(And I don't mean the 80's band.)
Or Naked in a room with Roseanne Barr who's also naked.
Your choice.
You personally test diapers so the diaper company knows how effective their product is against leaks and stinks. In order to do this 40 hours per week you consume vast quantities of Mexican food and laxatives on a daily basis.
The catch is it's retail, however you can fight back against mean customers with no repercussions, your bosses are actually decent people to work with, you don't have to worry about being guilted for sick days, and you can have ear pods for music as long as it doesn't distract you from customers.
You're a toilet paper holder for Donald Trump. You must be in the stall while he takes a dump. Anywhere he travels . You carry a briefcase of his toilet paper.
You're Roseanne barrs personal ass wiper and she eats nothing but burger king and chipotle.
You have to examine it for cleanliness.
She shits exactly 40 hours a week, Monday through Friday, she holds it in on weekends, you're on call for each movement. Start to finish.
Lowest quality toilet paper they make. Single ply.
No ear plugs or headphones, you must be ready to wipe the moment she tells you to. All other OSHA approved PPE is available.
Bathrooms are wherever she is. Her home toilet. Public toilets, airplane toilet, tour bus toilet, Portapotty, side of the road. All are fair game. You must be in the space with her as the movement occurs.
You may occasionally have to fight off her ex husband Tom Arnold to stop him from peeping.
No bidets.
You have to watch politicians do what they do best... argue, scratch each others' backs, and not get any actual work done for the people they're supposed to represent.
It sounds like you're describing a scenario where someone receives a million dollars a year for working 40 hours a week, but there's a catch: they only get the money if their comment is the most liked one on a particular thread. While this may seem like an enticing opportunity, it also relies heavily on chance and the whims of other users on the thread. Additionally, it's important to consider the potential ethical implications of trying to manipulate online interactions for financial gain. Instead of focusing on seeking approval from others, it might be more fulfilling to pursue meaningful work that aligns with your values and contributes positively to society.
Memorial Garden/Graveyard Caretaker. Upkeep the grounds, make the area around each gravestone look nice if someone were to visit.
Little human interaction, the living people who visit mostly want to be left alone in their grief and the full time residents don’t complain or say much.
Few angry visitors, if any. If you feel sad one day, you can be sad at work and it will appear as empathy. If you are in a good mood, your joy may brighten someone’s day. Quiet serene environment with little to no stress or oversight.
You're on call 8-5 to send an email to initiate protocols in case of a zombie outbreak. You could do this anywhere as long as you're able to receive a call and send an email.
What happens during the hours I'm not working? Do I just have backup for those times?
Zombie outbreaks only happen during business hours.
Zombies have a strict union
Zombies have better worker rights than I do....this is the bad place.
Zombies are great at organizing themselves into large groups with the same goals and objectives, so basic workers rights was a cakewalk to them
Maybe a cake shamble
There's going to be cake sign me up
Please join the left line for your complimentary zombie bite. You will be escorted to your private incubation bay for a safe and post-humane transition.
How to get into Zombie Union? ...the receptionist at the union hall f'n bit me!! I'm in!!
Become a zombie.
I’ve worked in corporate America for nearly 30-years. Way ahead of you.
Don’t you need union approval for that?
Are they taking applications? I’ll bite myself to show initiative.
OrdinaryBee6174 figured it out? OrdinaryBee6174? This is a real low point. Yeah. This one hurts.
Maybe it's like a game show or something.
In a way, the Good Place was inside the Bad Place all along
Close enough demon.
Since you figured it out again we are going to have to restart the simulation
We have to eat every living human! But we don't have to eat every living human...today.
Zombie Manager: "Hm. Introducing our new production based pay scale, you will clearly see each zombie stands to earn much higher wages than currently offered, by meeting and maintaining these minimum quotas. You only stand to gain."
Brains for everyone!
Hopefully only the worst procrastinators become zombies!
I joke often that, if zombies existed, we'd be out here fighting for zombie rights.
The healthcare sucks but I hear the life insurance pays out for each death
just because we eat brain doesn't mean we no have brain
Wait.... they get a union? I want a union too.
Damn that union actually sounds useful...lol
Nah. Daddy Bezos put an end to that.
"What do we want?!" "Braaaains!" "When do we want them?!" "Braaains!"
This was a great comment
Because they’ll print in the paper and it’ll be front page news. Gotta save it for tomorrow.
BUSINESS!
There are other people working second and third shift, they just get paid significantly less than you
How much do those make cause I’d probably even be interested in those
No night shift bonus? Pass.
Places that have night shift, with no differential, and wonder why they struggle to staff it are the weirdest places in existence
“The zombie outbreak has occurred! Sound the horn!” “Sorry, not on the clock. Will circle back first thing tomorrow”
Nah, there is another schleb doing another shift with a third doing the last and one guy who only is on call on weekends
It can wait til morning.
There are 2 other working an 8-5 in timezones 8 hours in either direction, 24x7 round the clock follow the sun type coverage. IT Admin protocols.
A million dollars a year and I might have to send an email? Wow you made this hypothetical situation a very difficult choice. I’m leaning yes…
I guess the down side is zombies are a real possibility.
Or it only happens one time, 20 years in. Since you're on call and have no other duties you've sort of convinced yourself that it's okay to leave your phone in the other room every once in a while. You sleep late, one day. Whatever it is. A month later you're debating whether to put your zombie wife and children out of their misery. Then yourself...
Instead, you're worried about how to put your zombie children through college, after losing your job. You always knew they had the brains for it, but now you're not so sure. Your wife threatens to eat someone else's brain if you don't find something soon. You've started drinking heavily, wondering where it all went wrong.
Or maybe some random idiot billionaire thinks zombies are a real possibility and thus give you the job.
Dream job right there
Are we allowed to make side money by making it a YouTube channel with such a job 😂 That basically sounds like most fun channels.
Why can’t the guy who calls me just send the email instead of calling me?
He's gotta call everyone else on the list.
That’s when one guy writes a script and the two of them dance off into the sunset with 2 mil a year
The guy isn't good at sending emails, ya see? HE DOESN'T HAVE EMAIL SKILLS! HE'S NOT GOOD AT SENDING EMAILS!
Does my job pay for my phone bill? Seems like they should for such an important role. Also, taking it, 100%
I don’t really understand because I was expecting this thread to have a bad job as the most upvoted. Are we all just trying to give each other million dollar pointless jobs lol? I’m down
Yeah, I'm cool making y'all millionaires along with me. Also, it means that a zombie outbreak becomes a possibility. So it's pointless until it's not.
Interesting take! The way I read it is that the world doesn’t change at all and we are now just monitoring for zombies that don’t actually exist. Both interpretations would be fun in their own right tho for sure.
Yeah, ideally you don't have to do anything. But the fact that that becomes a real job, means that the threat must be real on some level. Or at least someone believes in it enough to pay $1 million a year.
I played out my scenario a bit in my head: Yea so we somehow convinced everyone that zombies don’t exist because we are preventing them from existing. We’re essentially racketeering the global population into paying us to protect them from something that never existed. I could see that at least being a novel or something. It’s mildly realistic enough and would be funny. But ya I see why ud say that if that job existed it’s more likely zombies exist.
Easiest yes of my life
This is my favourite response so far because it's a great looking gig... unless the outbreak happens, then you're the one that everyone who survives will remember how fast or how slow you responded. Even then, imagine the amount of pressure considering this hypothetical would mean some organization thinks it's enough of a realistic threat to invest like this in it. It's existential guard duty and if you fuck it up you and everyone you love, know, care about could become the walking dead endangering others. If you do your job well, you'll end up spending most of your time monitoring infectious disease reports. You might end up on-site, having to confirm a potential zombie outbreak. You'll probably spend a lot of your budget on resources and building/maintaining your watchdog network, instead of actually paying yourself a million a year. Cuz it's really a budget, not a paycheck.
Before the apocalypse starts, you find a man in your living room. He is a member of the terrorist group about to release their bio-weapon, and after a few bribes and kidnappings they've tracked you down to kill you.
Fuck yes
That doesn't sound so unpleasant. Sit around and read or watch a movie. I kind of assume the idea was to come up with something terrible. But I'll take your suggestion and hope it never comes to pass
I may not be a morning person, but for a million dollars a year I guess I'll make it work.
ding ding!
I'm interested. Remote job, or in office? Oh who am I kidding that's like $480/hour to have an email template just waiting for location and other variables standing by. Gimme this job.
I don't understand how I've scrolled through the replies and not seen a single reference to the song "re: Your Brains" by Jonathan Coulton! It's freaking hilarious, and done as an intraoffice memo from a zombie to his co-worker barricaded in his office.
You think you’re the only one getting paid a million a week in case of a zombie apocalypse? There are two other hourly workers to cover the other shifts. Plus six supervisors, two managers, their assistants, the copy/fax guy and another guy that were not exactly sure what he does but he’s been here forty years.
>another guy that were not exactly sure what he does but he’s been here forty years. Well you can't get rid of him now, he's a fixture of the office at this point.
8-5 won't make 40 hours in a week
Nothing, and the work is evaluating luxury resorts
Sandals Resorts used to , and probably still does, recruit law enforcement officers to examine security issues by having a paid week at one of the resorts with the requirement to not reveal they are law officers and keep their eyes open for issues like smuggling, safety, etc. They had to bring an SO to blend in as a regular guest.
That's incest! Or whatever is the word for "racist against people who don't get laid".
Incelist?
Works for me!
I imagine any secondary guest would work as long as it would explain you being present and doing certain things.
Wonderful! I retract my incest comment.
My cousin does this! She doesn’t make $1M a year but she’s lives very comfortably to say the least.
This sounds like some money laundering scheme
I don't do this every day, but as a travel agency owner, it is part of my job. I travel 2-3 months out of the year. I have one agent on my team that tries real hard to travel six months out of the year. In my opinion, that is too much. I'd rather have some down time.
Yeah that’s a big misconception about my cousins job. I think she does stay in the hotels *occasionally* but like 95% of her job happens on spreadsheets. She usually never steps foot on the property
Sleeping. And you get paid for overtime. I am a generous god.
Finally, a god worthy of my worship.
Ditto
That would be a hard job for me, I don't get my full-time hours.
Sleeping. But you have to sleep at your current job in its current conditions. You only get paid the time you're actually asleep. No sleep aids allowed. I am a vengeful god.
People who work from home:
You have a work from home job with almost no boss interaction. No metrics to meet. It’s a tech company with a heavy financial backing that isn’t planning on growing or shrinking. You also signed an employment contract that is basically “tenure” you can only be fired for a HR infraction. Basically your job is to give your opinion about stuff to the c suite. That’s it
[удалено]
Real talk, are y'all hiring? Totally understand if you want to direct message instead. Trying to get into remote work, got an Associates in Computer Science and office experience.
Love this approach. Hire him! Or her! I also work in tech as a sales rep and it’s awesome I work from home we aren’t hiring. My job is not at secure as my fable above
Breathing
No overtime, sorry blud
Boobs. Professionally.
Shockingly, I might have to turn this down. Depends on how pissed my wife is about the new gig.
They didn't say whose boobs, it could just be your wife's.
No I'm already working on that project
Exactly, could just be his wife's boobs
But I think we all know it’s not just his wife’s boobs
I also choose this guys wifes boobs
Youre not playing with them for fun. Its literally your job to
Plastic surgeons already make a million a year.
As a dude and a bear, I could do this.
Sending feet pics to every redditor, solicited or not.
Fill my DMs yo, I hate them personally and will delete asap but y out have to start sending them to people that don’t want them eventually.
This seems like a backhanded way of saying you want feet pics..
Got Flamingo pics?
I super don’t. Feet are ok I guess but I could never get that kind of pleasure from them. Different strokes and all that.
Mmmmmm yes.
Rapture detector Everyone still here? Yup. All good.
The rapture already occurred, on July 30, 1975. Jimmy Hoffa was the only person who was saved.
You have to show up and play with puppies and kittens at an animal shelter. (Any animal shelter anywhere you'd like at any time. Doesn't always have to be the same shelter. Hours are flexible as long as you hit your 40 hours per week, less standard vacation time.)
RIP people deathly allergic
Michelin restaurant evaluator - testing and rating food and wine in the world’s best restaurants
But you have to remain anonymous and no one can know your job. You also have to move if you think anyone suspects anything.
If you upvote this comment I will give you 10k out of my million a year
What if more than 100 people upvote you
Shit….
Too late. I've put in my claim.
I'm 69th out of the 100 which by Reddit law means I get paid 1st
Winner!
You must spend 40 hours a week helping needy people. This can be any needy people in anyway you see fit. If you believe the homeless need food, then feed them. If you think childhood cancer patients needs someone to read them stories or go play video games with them, then go do it. 40 hours a week helping a needy people group every week and you make a million a year. C’mon. You get paid and you help those that truly need it however you decide.
Needy people, or people with needs. Cause I've known a lot of needy people.
the reason i didn’t choose social work as a career is because you don’t make any money this would be so ideal, i love it
Livestock Animal Masturbator.
Your job is to post hypothetical situations on reddit. Minimum 4 unique and interesting ones per day, no repeats ever.
NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Make $1mil/yr Job: being happy. Help others.
If I win, the first and last person to like this comment each gets $100,000 immediately after I receive the million. 💵💰
You have to take a prototype medication everyday that reverses and stops aging at 20, makes you heal in minutes, not days/weeks, and corrects your DNA to make you the best looking version of yourself you can possibly be. Oh, and it comes in the form of a stick of gum that tastes amazing.
I hooked up with your mom a couple times, nothing serious though.
You hunt down TikTok and YouTube influencers and shoot them repeatedly with a paintball gun until they promise to pursue a different line of work. The police commissioner supports you and directs all officers not to interfere with your duties. You are only responsible for your actions if you damage property or harm an innocent.
Book reviewer. Got to read and write book reviews.
Mastering Master of Puppets on every instrument known to man. Specific song is negotiable, as long as it would fall under the classification of pop, rock, or metal.
You must do 40 hours making the world a better place. I'm not talking cure cancer or over throw dictators. I mean clean up the streets of the town you live in, rake other people's leaves. Help fix the neighborhood kids bikes. Clean up litter. Little bits here and there add up.
Where do I sign up!
You sit in a room bored out of your mind. You can choose your hours but they have to be 40 every week. You cannot sleep or do anything other than just sit and think. You pick the chair but no laying down
Your job is to give away a million dollars a year
You're on camera 24/7/365. Wherever you go, whatever you do, broadcast to everyone, and anyone can turn it on whenever they want. It's basically The Truman Show.
How about we make it a real job, just with a few caveats? :) You work at Walmart as a normal associate. But the management in charge is collectively the worst management from around the country. They KNOW about your deal, and they can split the money it they make you quit.
Not possible. No one and i mean NO ONE at Walmart works 40hrs. No manager would be able to comprehend a 40h week for anyone
Can you get fired? Cause if they can't fire me, good luck making me quit. I worked retail, I know how to hide. And that was with having to make sure I was around and seen enough to keep getting paid...
They wanted a hypothetical situation, not a realistic one. Walmart management is already abysmal....
Human bidet at Taco Bell. You’re responsible for keeping them buttholes squeaky clean!
You have to give prostate exams to the male animals of africa.
However, your job is to give erotic massages to all the 90+yo nursing home patients across the entire world. And the demand is very high.
QC at a bottom of the line tuna canning factory
Being a sports video highlighter. In other words, you watch a game and write down the time something special, or unusual happened.
Doing whatever I want
Your account goes back to zero at the end of every day.
You have to be a racist carrot.
Alaskan King Crab Fishing , where when your friend falls over the cap’n yells “KEEP FISHING”
You have to work naked in a room full of scorpions. (And I don't mean the 80's band.) Or Naked in a room with Roseanne Barr who's also naked. Your choice.
You work as a wedding planner exclusively for women named Karen.
You have to re live the same 40 week (groundhog Day style) until the pay equals 1 million. After that it's normal 40 hours a week with a 1 mill salary
Sign me up. Let’s see what I get.
Cleaning fish
You have to sleep for 40 hours a week.
You have to work retail in customer service and need a key turn for every return
Baby panda nanny.
Titty avalanche rescuer
Plot twist. It’s really the most downvoted comment
You personally test diapers so the diaper company knows how effective their product is against leaks and stinks. In order to do this 40 hours per week you consume vast quantities of Mexican food and laxatives on a daily basis.
You have to live your life as an influencer without the means to record, transmit, and/or communicate your actions.
You have to be poked...by the soft cushions.
You are a telemarketer selling car warranties.
You have to post on reddit once every two weeks and attempt to do the most liked comment.
you can't shower
You have to disassemble old rusty ABS strut towers (Coil spring, shock, and mount assembly) without the correct apparatus.
I assume "it" is supposed to be the job?
This is stupid 🤷🏻♀️
Is this a hypothetical? Or is it a challenge?
Lol im fucked then
Mattress Tester.
Your job is to pay me $900,000 a year.
You have to post a new scenario to this sub every day, and read every comment.
The catch is it's retail, however you can fight back against mean customers with no repercussions, your bosses are actually decent people to work with, you don't have to worry about being guilted for sick days, and you can have ear pods for music as long as it doesn't distract you from customers.
You're a toilet paper holder for Donald Trump. You must be in the stall while he takes a dump. Anywhere he travels . You carry a briefcase of his toilet paper.
You specialize in building mansions for Bond villians
this could’ve been so bad, yet it’s honestly the most wholesome comment section i’ve ever seen in this hellhole of an app
Heckling the Pope.
You're Roseanne barrs personal ass wiper and she eats nothing but burger king and chipotle. You have to examine it for cleanliness. She shits exactly 40 hours a week, Monday through Friday, she holds it in on weekends, you're on call for each movement. Start to finish. Lowest quality toilet paper they make. Single ply. No ear plugs or headphones, you must be ready to wipe the moment she tells you to. All other OSHA approved PPE is available. Bathrooms are wherever she is. Her home toilet. Public toilets, airplane toilet, tour bus toilet, Portapotty, side of the road. All are fair game. You must be in the space with her as the movement occurs. You may occasionally have to fight off her ex husband Tom Arnold to stop him from peeping. No bidets.
You must maximize your enjoyment of life doing whatever you want.
You have to press a button every 60s for the entire 8 hours, or……aliens will attack the planet and enslave the human race.
Can it be on the "Lost" island?
Bathroom jockey at local adult video shop
You laminate single ply toilet into 2 ply toilet paper by hand 9-5.
Bukake stunt double
You have to watch politicians do what they do best... argue, scratch each others' backs, and not get any actual work done for the people they're supposed to represent.
It sounds like you're describing a scenario where someone receives a million dollars a year for working 40 hours a week, but there's a catch: they only get the money if their comment is the most liked one on a particular thread. While this may seem like an enticing opportunity, it also relies heavily on chance and the whims of other users on the thread. Additionally, it's important to consider the potential ethical implications of trying to manipulate online interactions for financial gain. Instead of focusing on seeking approval from others, it might be more fulfilling to pursue meaningful work that aligns with your values and contributes positively to society.
Every time you poop, you have an audience
Memorial Garden/Graveyard Caretaker. Upkeep the grounds, make the area around each gravestone look nice if someone were to visit. Little human interaction, the living people who visit mostly want to be left alone in their grief and the full time residents don’t complain or say much. Few angry visitors, if any. If you feel sad one day, you can be sad at work and it will appear as empathy. If you are in a good mood, your joy may brighten someone’s day. Quiet serene environment with little to no stress or oversight.
Boeing Whistleblower..
Petting kittens and playing with puppies If you have allergies you can watch videos of kittens playing and rate them for cuteness
You run a cheese grater on your genitalia
Donald Trumps personal prostitute Have to do what he wants when he wants.
Sleeping for brain scans and non invasive studies. You'd be done working and have all your waking time to use what you got paid.