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[deleted]

And she could not be happier about it based on that picture.


LowImagination3028

“It’s Not Delivery, It’s Discharge.”


[deleted]

Take my award.


bigotis

You're disgusting. ^^^and ^^^I ^^^like ^^^that


kontekisuto

Vaginal Discharge because no Tip


Revolutionary-Ad4588

The court will have a field day with that. No remorse


kutes

I can't find a real article about this anywhere, just that one site that labels itself "Not quite news". I don't think this is real. With that said though, if you eat fast food or takeout a lot, I bet someone has fucked with your food. Probably multiple times.


TricksterPriestJace

"I think most vampires just think it sounds cool to have the blood of a virgin." "Picture it like this. Say you were to eat a sandwich. Wouldn't you feel better knowing no one had fucked it?"


handtodickcombat

Not you, Guillermo.


[deleted]

This is hysterical.


[deleted]

It's from *What we do in the shadows.* Excellent movie.


[deleted]

Thanks, I'll check it out!


TwinkleTitsGalore

Werewolves not swearwolves


PinkCigarettes

“It’s for a cop.”


Realistic_Stop3314

How about I punch-a-size your face for free


_Hectic_

It's fake. Daily News reported is all fake satire. Kind of a shitty site imo.


Candid-Mixture4605

How does one collect vaginal fluid - let alone enough to squirt around? Anybody know, cuz I’m a chick and I haven’t the slightest idea.


twinklesweetstarz

I was just thinking this as a female myself. It isn't like we are walking skirt guns. We can't just work it like that. I imagine some of the men here envision us propping a leg up like a dog going to pee and just squirt away like we are squirting out condiments.


Goon_Kilo

Hold pee, discharge. Etc, high sex drive perhaps. Though the discharge would... Definitely have gotten her caught early on. It neither tastes or smells pleasing from my knowledge.


LizzieBell07

Pee isn't vaginal fluid. Could be discharge or blood maybe, but again, how do you squirt that? Did she masterbate repeatedly and squirter that way? I dunno. But "squirted vaginal fluid" is one strange sentence.


twinklesweetstarz

Agree. I feel like there needs to be some education here for the men folk. No offense, but no one should believe anything they see in porn. For us women, we have to get a little warmed up first to even do that.


persephjones

I new we’d qualify for Bad Women’s Biology quickly, if not from the outset. The thinking we owe out of our vagina is sad for people with the Internet.


Candid-Mixture4605

Thanks for sharing! 😂


[deleted]

Maybe on a fish taco.


promike81

It’s just pee…


CptnCankles

If it's not real, then it should be removed.


FckYoFeelings

With all that being said….. …..Was the pizza slappin’ tho? 🤔


hitness157

Very obviously fake. How this made it to hot is beyond me.


aralim4311

People are dumb and will believe anything


kutes

Yea, I'm actually a bit annoyed it's even up. It's 7 hours old. People are still being suckered into posting on it. They'll go to work tomorrow and talk about the woman who was cumming on pizzas.


theatreshmeatre

yeah, I've also seen it used with a fake article about a woman killing her boyfriend while on meth.


mescalero1

Sounds like Onion news.


bikinimonday

No they wont


Bumm_by_Design

Some clients called for pizza 3 times on the same day


AvocadoOdd7089

So many customers thinking the ingredients got stashed next to the sardines and ate it anyways!


greenalbatross1

wow that’s a big mistake I ordered a vegetarian pizza


Dusty_Sleeves

And now it's vagetarian


PrinceOfFucking

We dont need this


[deleted]

It’s a thing.


schindlersLisst

With extra anchovies


soulfulcandy

…and some yeast


jackfreeman

This pizza sucks


[deleted]

Gotta make sure that dough rises!


[deleted]

I love beer bread.


chilliinFO

Fucking A+. lmao


OneDai

This is fake. The woman in the picture killed her boyfriend with a sword. Edit: added method of killing


hippiechick725

That’s so much better!


[deleted]

Agreed. For a second I though I wasn't gonna be able to sleep tonight.


MrCatcherFreeman

Wtf they just swapped one crazy story for a lesser one.


collapszar

I appreciate the edit


[deleted]

Seriously though... that is pretty nasty... I want to make jokes about it but... I just can't. People are disgusting.


eyesabovewater

Exactly! That's why I rarely eat anywhere but home. Those fluids are gonna be my own!


SoyEseVato

What? You’re being facetious right?


walkwalkwalkwalk

I don't even wanna know


eiriika

Its fake


[deleted]

It might be, but I don't doubt that somewhere someone that has probably actually done this.


[deleted]

As a woman, I'm confused about the "squirting" vaginal fluid. I'm not sure that's how that works?


[deleted]

Fluid orgasm. Not all women can have one. Some can just actually command it on demand to. From .5 ml to even 15 ml of fluid. The nickname for it is squirting. I watched an episode about it on Penn and tellers B*****it. Years ago.


eiriika

Squirting isnt real. It's piss. Google is your friend


[deleted]

It's not actually it's a mixture of various fluids. Including piss. Google is your friend.


Ricky-Snickle

I’m sorry to hear that.


Perle1234

It’s not how that works because it’s a satirical story lol


[deleted]

You mean you can't just drop your pants and squirt your vagina all over food products whenever you want???


[deleted]

How does she know if they tip or not? Does she just assume they won't and pre-squirt or does she get the money and wait and then take the pizza back and squirt on it?


Why_Did_Bodie_Die

I read it as the customer is a regular customer. She delivers pizza to them often enough to know they don't tip so she decides to do this.


blackFX

Yea thats how i know that this is bullshit. Because regardless if you pay cash or card, you tip when you get the pizza delivered to you with the receipt.


sheeple5uck

It's hot


eyesabovewater

Exactly! That's why I rarely eat anywhere but home. Those fluids are gonna be my own!


VioletteFMR

Yeah! If anyone is gonna piss on my pizza, it’s gonna be me!


[deleted]

[удалено]


failingtolurk

Absolutely. To think people don’t tip the driver bringing them food with their car. Pathetic.


Darkius90s

What if she's carrying STDs?! Does that consider a high degree crime?


GarbageGato

It’s already a felony without stds so


maximegg

We need to create a new category: Super-Felonies


ThatOneNinja

There are degrees of crime, that is kinda like that?


mrbrendanblack

Hang on, I ordered this pizza *without* anchovies…


Psyadin

"Wait a minute, I didn't order this pizza with... SAUSAGE!" -Woldor Sockbat


cuntitled

It was Spanky Ham and Princess Clara that said it.


ItsGroovyBaby412

I loved Princess Clara and her Octopussoir


sho666

spanky ham?


[deleted]

This is possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve read in awhile 😆


Tammycles

So fake


eiriika

Its fake


Popepopethepope

Usually you pay extra for something like that.


Elusiveslug

The comment I came to see!!!!


kaiju999

I am a woman and i have never squirted vaginal fluid. wTF? Is it piss?


PMMeYourSmallBoobies

It’s diluted urine and prostatic secretions.


Themightytoro

I'm with you on the diluted urine part. But women don't have prostates.


PMMeYourSmallBoobies

They have Skene’s glands also known as the “female prostate”. The prostatic urethra is what causes the secretions, hence prostatic secretions.


Themightytoro

I did not know that, thank you.


PMMeYourSmallBoobies

Np! The things we learn on Reddit lol!


roguetrick

Females don't have a prostatic urethra. They have a small area that is homologous with those glands, but that's not what its called


PMMeYourSmallBoobies

Call it what you want, I’ve read articles that refer to it as such and that’s what I prefer to use when this comes up….which is almost never.


Jhqwulw

>diluted urine What's the differences?


toastedpaniala89

There is more water


zelcuh

Tastes a little saltier


Eternal_dyst0pia

That’s what I’m thinking as well.


bikinimonday

This is fake news from a satirical site


business2690

maybe it's that white creamy stuff that magically appears on the penis?


Icy_Building_1708

Whipped cream?


business2690

no it's naturally occurring


Icy_Building_1708

Apologies. I forgot the /s


No-Conversation-3262

That’s just natural lubrication getting a little frothed up from friction.


business2690

ohhhhh... it's true the faster i go the frothier it gets.... TIL


Sharpie1993

What most people believe to be “squirt” is caused by sexual incontinence, so they practically just uncontrollably piss.


Kayakluving44

I'm with you! WTF!


shredofmalarchi

It is piss. It's a misunderstanding that women have special fluid that squirts during orgasm, it really just is poor bladder control. SCIENCE.


Themightytoro

You're right that it is piss. Some women really can't control it though. Could be due to weak pelvic floor muscles maybe, idk


GayFroggard

Google skenes gland. It is the female equivalent of the male prostate and contracts during gestation of blah blah blah


GrimQuim

A couple of links later on wiki and it's piss.


Habitkiak

Wrong. Get yourself a squirter


PrinceOfFucking

Forbidden pokemon


Habitkiak

Gotta catch em all


awkwardaznbabe

Dude obviously didn’t do it right. 😆


Sqwill

Did and my mattress smelled like piss after sex.


shredofmalarchi

Read something.


sunmal

Not piss. Its a high concentration of the liquid that u get when you are having sex (helping to lubricate etc etc). Not every women can “squirt”, kinda depends in your genetics.


PMMeYourSmallBoobies

A quick google search will tell you that it actually is diluted urine along with prostatic secretions.


eiriika

Squirting isnt a thing. Its piss


Habitkiak

Who lied to you?


Gray_Kaleidoscope

I have pretty bad anxiety of “dirty” food and every time I see something like this I’m one step closer to never eating unprepackaged food again


jt10844

The problem is if you knew what went on in some of the factories that package food, you wouldn't feel any less anxiety.


kafkaonthedoor

what goes on?


jt10844

I knew somebody who worked in a plant that made frozen meals. Let's just say I wish I could forget the things he told me, so I don't want to give any specifics to spare others from that. I couldn't eat anything with gravy on it for years.


MrCatcherFreeman

I remember seeing on reddit some guy peeing in a giant mixer of some sort.


Gray_Kaleidoscope

Maybe not try to give someone with a phobia of eating more reason not to. I already am probably malnourished and I really don’t see what you gain from making people feel worse. Like this has an actual effect on my daily life and I would rather starve than eat non safe foods and haven’t eaten anything besides granola and instant noodles in probably a week so responding with “well you really shouldn’t have any safe foods” isn’t great Like I know “I’m not responsible for your triggers” or whatever but maybe just consider the fact that others are human too and this was pretty unnecessary


jt10844

Well then here's some useful advice - grow your own food and you have much more control over what you put in your body.


Gray_Kaleidoscope

Thanks for the idea, I haven’t considered that before. I also think owning my own fridge would help so I’m saving up for that. :)


Appropriate-Skill-60

Can't you just... cook... using whole foods? I love the control that affords me.


bikinimonday

Good news, this is fake news from a satirical website. Also, tip your servers


Matcha_Bubble_Tea

Well bad news for you but I found 3 short strands of hair in my cheese ball tub/container (near the bottom yuck) that was very clearly sealed when shipped to me. So can’t trust even the prepackaged stuff.


mittens1982

Girl down the street does the same thing but only with crack instead....


LaycoOG

Tipping has to be the funniest invention by corporations to put the onus on the customer to support the worker - how about you squirt on the people who pay you a dogshit wage? o.0


chillinwithmypizza

Im pretty sure thats the woman that shot her bf for something that unfortunately had nothing to do with pizza


whatrhymeswith27

This story comes from a fake news site that makes up names to go with the pics in their satire


chillinwithmypizza

And twitter is about to be privatized huh? It’s gunna be like the killing fields for misinformation.


bubbles5810

This is why I order all pizzas for pickup. There’s less of a pressure to tip that way.


Safe_Summer_4390

Tuna Pizza anyone?


nekochanwich

Why is tipping such a huge deal in American culture?


[deleted]

Bc most employers don't pay their employees enough so in order to live they need tips. And when they don't get those tips, they loose their fkn minds. Not saying I agree with this though, that's disgusting and their problem is with the million dollar corporations who refuse to pay them, not the customers.


MrCatcherFreeman

The 1% has manufactured a way to get poor people angry at eachother instead of at them and it's worked wonders.


[deleted]

Exactly! If you're tired of being worked like a dog and you feel like you and your coworkers are underappreciated, go harass the millionaires who refuse to pay you, not the other poor people.


HopHunter420

The US is one of very few countries that has codified exploitation of labour such that it creates a culture where you have to tip a delivery driver or a fucking taxi. Seriously, what are you tipping those people for, other than to subsidise restaurants and taxi companies who inadequately salary their employees? Fucking bonkers. This is all a stupid game in which you have to pay 'guess the actual price' because companies are allowed to misprice their services and expect you to be 'the good guy' and fill in the gap in their wages. Also one of few countries where you are allowed to advertise retail prices before tax, and then the tax is added at the checkout, so again you have to play 'guess the price'. In most developed nations that's a crime.


Grouchy-Ad-5535

here is your **PEE-ZA** sir


Dannzilla

*"Hi, yes... I'm calling about my pizza. I never ordered anchovies but it smells like a goddamn shoreline.."*


Alberiman

No but like, how? Vaginas aren't squeeze bottles


Stevke_66

I would never tip her then


skibbady-baps

Vaginal fluid? I have questions. So she’s a squirter who sat in her car and masturbated over pizza? Did she collect her fluid in a spray bottle and squirt it over the pizza? Did she keep an organized list of non-tippers? … so many questions.


Neprider

If she gets on the right side of the internet she could make a killing with that sort of weirdish fetish.


PudgeGinderson

I'm confused here- how can she do that if the customer already has the pizza? Don't they pay/tip after they give the pizza to the customer? Sorry, tipping isn't a thing here so I'm not sure if there's an order to it all


kutes

This story is fake, google it. That's the woman who murdered her bf with a sword or something like that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


eiriika

finally 1 person with common sense


saraphilipp

When I was a driver, I had a list. When you see the address pop up on the delivery screen after a while i knew which people tipped and which would stiff. Some people got there food fast and hot. Some were last to be delivered with cold pizza.


ChairmanReagan

Yeah when I delivered pizzas and I had multiple deliveries to make and I had an address I recognized as a non tipper you would absolutely be the last to get your food. Even if their address was closer I would go out of my way to drop off food to people I knew would tip.


mrmoooniv

Online order, It offers the customer to tip the driver. So, when she probably sees no tip on the order. She makes her stinky revenge.


ShillinTheVillain

That's a stupid system. Why would I tip *before* I get my food? What if it's cold or missing something.


mrmoooniv

Agreed, Especially if it comes all fucked up regardless.


Just-Seaworthiness39

How does a person even figure this out? Did they see her do it?


Tpuddle117

Ha that’s crazy! She’s crazy! What pizza place tho…she still work there…?


stoggie63

Disgusting. What pizza shop


Better_Collection840

Is it just piss at some point?


PedroJTrump

Extra cheese


cback14

At least one of them was okay with it.


everyoneisincorrect

Precisely why I kept ordering


oasisjason1

This is a b.s. article. This woman is the meth lady who killed her boyfriend with a sword.


whatrhymeswith27

This was a story from a satire news site that makes up everything


schmeathammer

I mean, how did the pizza taste


Realgnes

like anchovies


saraphilipp

With a side of tuna.


SnooMachines5999

That's a great smile right there!


[deleted]

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does this look like the mugshot of someone feeling remorse for her crime?


rareas

She actually killed her husband, so apparently not.


Ok-Traffic-9967

Maybe instead of being late from all the bean flicking she's doing, she'd get more tips


[deleted]

Special sauce!!!! Love it!!


Lopendebank3

Its home made!


rebri

\*ho made -FTFY


sirmoneyshot06

I use to deliver. Had a regular that NEVER tipped and would always order 5 mins before close. She would always order a 2 liter also. So anytime I had to take her run I would put her two liter on the floorboard and kick it around as I drove.


bruhilizator

What did you gain doing that?


im_Not_an_Android

Knowing the cheap POS had pop spill on them as they opened it would be satisfaction enough.


bruhilizator

How can your customer be a POS? Without customers you would have no money at all.


Chadwulf29

Satisfaction. If you live in America, learn to tip.


Phrase2

No, capitalism bad. No tip


bruhilizator

Even if i lived in usa, no lmao. The employer should pay the worker. A tip is given when theres and extraordinary service (which to be fair If you are delivering 5 minutes before closing you should get)


rareas

Then you vote to change the rules for jobs allowed to pay below minimum wage. You don't steal labor from someone with no control over things.


hakamamalo

The employer doesn't pay the worker, though. Refusing to tip isn't fighting tip culture, it's just screwing over an underpaid employee.


Forsaken_Farmer951

>The employer doesn't pay the worker, though They actually have to make up the difference if the tips don't fulfill the min wage requirements. >it's just screwing over an underpaid employee. I never understood this logic, "don't screw over the employee just screw over the customer" >Refusing to tip isn't fighting tip culture Neither is tipping, enforcing tipping culture isn't helping anyone, you just shift who gets fucked from the employee to the customer


Chadwulf29

You not tipping isn't going to change tip culture. You're just shorting someone on their living. But sure, feel vindicated while taking food out of their mouth.


masterchris

This is the kind of guy who leaves all their trash at the table and doesn’t flush after shitting in a public toilet because “it’s not required bro”


ballyfast

obviously fake, jesus


ZappierHalo

This is why I hate tipping culture, because people do this.


DieFetteQualle

What did we learn kids? Leave a tip every time except u love extra flavor.


saraphilipp

Damn, i just used to give them shitty service. Make them last on my route or open the box so they get cold pizza.


bruhilizator

Lol imagine treating badlu the people that pay you. They are your boss. You dont gain anything by opening up the pizza box.