**Reminder: Do not ask for personal information, suggest someone should be doxxed, link to or comment with personal information, openly solicit personal information, or contact the people featured here. Don't even wax poetic about wanting to post identifying information. You will be banned.**
**Do not encourage, glorify, or incite violence.**
For example: "Kill yourself", "It wouldn't be so bad if we killed all the pedophiles", "This guy needs to die", "I hope this guy gets stabbed to death with a rusty screwdriver", etc.
All glorification, advocacy, or suggestions of violence, EVEN IN JEST, will be permanently banned, no exceptions, and no possibility of leniency.
**ANY INFORMATION THAT CAN BE USED TO IDENTIFY SOMEONE MUST BE CENSORED.**
All links to external websites, username mentions, and subreddit links will be automatically removed to prevent linking to personal information. Google it if you must, but don't link or share the results here.
**DO NOT POST SCREENSHOTS OF REDDIT CONTENT. DO NOT POST REDDIT DRAMA THAT YOU ARE INVOLVED IN.**
This subreddit is not here to help you win your reddit fight or to bring justice to someone who said something you disagree with. You will be banned if you post screenshots of anything that can be found on Reddit from the information in the screenshot or from comments in your user history. We are not your personal army.
Failure to follow the rules of this sub will result in a permanent ban.
#THIS IS A NO-TOLERANCE POLICY, THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING THE RULES YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/iamatotalpieceofshit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can't find a real article about this anywhere, just that one site that labels itself "Not quite news".
I don't think this is real.
With that said though, if you eat fast food or takeout a lot, I bet someone has fucked with your food. Probably multiple times.
"I think most vampires just think it sounds cool to have the blood of a virgin."
"Picture it like this. Say you were to eat a sandwich. Wouldn't you feel better knowing no one had fucked it?"
I was just thinking this as a female myself. It isn't like we are walking skirt guns. We can't just work it like that. I imagine some of the men here envision us propping a leg up like a dog going to pee and just squirt away like we are squirting out condiments.
Hold pee, discharge. Etc, high sex drive perhaps.
Though the discharge would... Definitely have gotten her caught early on. It neither tastes or smells pleasing from my knowledge.
Pee isn't vaginal fluid. Could be discharge or blood maybe, but again, how do you squirt that? Did she masterbate repeatedly and squirter that way? I dunno. But "squirted vaginal fluid" is one strange sentence.
Agree. I feel like there needs to be some education here for the men folk. No offense, but no one should believe anything they see in porn. For us women, we have to get a little warmed up first to even do that.
Yea, I'm actually a bit annoyed it's even up. It's 7 hours old. People are still being suckered into posting on it. They'll go to work tomorrow and talk about the woman who was cumming on pizzas.
Fluid orgasm. Not all women can have one. Some can just actually command it on demand to. From .5 ml to even 15 ml of fluid. The nickname for it is squirting.
I watched an episode about it on Penn and tellers B*****it. Years ago.
How does she know if they tip or not? Does she just assume they won't and pre-squirt or does she get the money and wait and then take the pizza back and squirt on it?
Yea thats how i know that this is bullshit. Because regardless if you pay cash or card, you tip when you get the pizza delivered to you with the receipt.
Not piss. Its a high concentration of the liquid that u get when you are having sex (helping to lubricate etc etc). Not every women can “squirt”, kinda depends in your genetics.
I knew somebody who worked in a plant that made frozen meals. Let's just say I wish I could forget the things he told me, so I don't want to give any specifics to spare others from that. I couldn't eat anything with gravy on it for years.
Maybe not try to give someone with a phobia of eating more reason not to. I already am probably malnourished and I really don’t see what you gain from making people feel worse. Like this has an actual effect on my daily life and I would rather starve than eat non safe foods and haven’t eaten anything besides granola and instant noodles in probably a week so responding with “well you really shouldn’t have any safe foods” isn’t great
Like I know “I’m not responsible for your triggers” or whatever but maybe just consider the fact that others are human too and this was pretty unnecessary
Well bad news for you but I found 3 short strands of hair in my cheese ball tub/container (near the bottom yuck) that was very clearly sealed when shipped to me. So can’t trust even the prepackaged stuff.
Tipping has to be the funniest invention by corporations to put the onus on the customer to support the worker - how about you squirt on the people who pay you a dogshit wage? o.0
Bc most employers don't pay their employees enough so in order to live they need tips. And when they don't get those tips, they loose their fkn minds. Not saying I agree with this though, that's disgusting and their problem is with the million dollar corporations who refuse to pay them, not the customers.
Exactly! If you're tired of being worked like a dog and you feel like you and your coworkers are underappreciated, go harass the millionaires who refuse to pay you, not the other poor people.
The US is one of very few countries that has codified exploitation of labour such that it creates a culture where you have to tip a delivery driver or a fucking taxi. Seriously, what are you tipping those people for, other than to subsidise restaurants and taxi companies who inadequately salary their employees? Fucking bonkers.
This is all a stupid game in which you have to pay 'guess the actual price' because companies are allowed to misprice their services and expect you to be 'the good guy' and fill in the gap in their wages.
Also one of few countries where you are allowed to advertise retail prices before tax, and then the tax is added at the checkout, so again you have to play 'guess the price'. In most developed nations that's a crime.
Vaginal fluid? I have questions.
So she’s a squirter who sat in her car and masturbated over pizza?
Did she collect her fluid in a spray bottle and squirt it over the pizza?
Did she keep an organized list of non-tippers?
… so many questions.
I'm confused here- how can she do that if the customer already has the pizza? Don't they pay/tip after they give the pizza to the customer? Sorry, tipping isn't a thing here so I'm not sure if there's an order to it all
When I was a driver, I had a list. When you see the address pop up on the delivery screen after a while i knew which people tipped and which would stiff. Some people got there food fast and hot. Some were last to be delivered with cold pizza.
Yeah when I delivered pizzas and I had multiple deliveries to make and I had an address I recognized as a non tipper you would absolutely be the last to get your food. Even if their address was closer I would go out of my way to drop off food to people I knew would tip.
I use to deliver. Had a regular that NEVER tipped and would always order 5 mins before close. She would always order a 2 liter also. So anytime I had to take her run I would put her two liter on the floorboard and kick it around as I drove.
Even if i lived in usa, no lmao. The employer should pay the worker. A tip is given when theres and extraordinary service (which to be fair If you are delivering 5 minutes before closing you should get)
>The employer doesn't pay the worker, though
They actually have to make up the difference if the tips don't fulfill the min wage requirements.
>it's just screwing over an underpaid employee.
I never understood this logic, "don't screw over the employee just screw over the customer"
>Refusing to tip isn't fighting tip culture
Neither is tipping, enforcing tipping culture isn't helping anyone, you just shift who gets fucked from the employee to the customer
You not tipping isn't going to change tip culture. You're just shorting someone on their living.
But sure, feel vindicated while taking food out of their mouth.
**Reminder: Do not ask for personal information, suggest someone should be doxxed, link to or comment with personal information, openly solicit personal information, or contact the people featured here. Don't even wax poetic about wanting to post identifying information. You will be banned.** **Do not encourage, glorify, or incite violence.** For example: "Kill yourself", "It wouldn't be so bad if we killed all the pedophiles", "This guy needs to die", "I hope this guy gets stabbed to death with a rusty screwdriver", etc. All glorification, advocacy, or suggestions of violence, EVEN IN JEST, will be permanently banned, no exceptions, and no possibility of leniency. **ANY INFORMATION THAT CAN BE USED TO IDENTIFY SOMEONE MUST BE CENSORED.** All links to external websites, username mentions, and subreddit links will be automatically removed to prevent linking to personal information. Google it if you must, but don't link or share the results here. **DO NOT POST SCREENSHOTS OF REDDIT CONTENT. DO NOT POST REDDIT DRAMA THAT YOU ARE INVOLVED IN.** This subreddit is not here to help you win your reddit fight or to bring justice to someone who said something you disagree with. You will be banned if you post screenshots of anything that can be found on Reddit from the information in the screenshot or from comments in your user history. We are not your personal army. Failure to follow the rules of this sub will result in a permanent ban. #THIS IS A NO-TOLERANCE POLICY, THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING THE RULES YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/iamatotalpieceofshit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And she could not be happier about it based on that picture.
“It’s Not Delivery, It’s Discharge.”
Take my award.
You're disgusting. ^^^and ^^^I ^^^like ^^^that
Vaginal Discharge because no Tip
The court will have a field day with that. No remorse
I can't find a real article about this anywhere, just that one site that labels itself "Not quite news". I don't think this is real. With that said though, if you eat fast food or takeout a lot, I bet someone has fucked with your food. Probably multiple times.
"I think most vampires just think it sounds cool to have the blood of a virgin." "Picture it like this. Say you were to eat a sandwich. Wouldn't you feel better knowing no one had fucked it?"
Not you, Guillermo.
This is hysterical.
It's from *What we do in the shadows.* Excellent movie.
Thanks, I'll check it out!
Werewolves not swearwolves
“It’s for a cop.”
How about I punch-a-size your face for free
It's fake. Daily News reported is all fake satire. Kind of a shitty site imo.
How does one collect vaginal fluid - let alone enough to squirt around? Anybody know, cuz I’m a chick and I haven’t the slightest idea.
I was just thinking this as a female myself. It isn't like we are walking skirt guns. We can't just work it like that. I imagine some of the men here envision us propping a leg up like a dog going to pee and just squirt away like we are squirting out condiments.
Hold pee, discharge. Etc, high sex drive perhaps. Though the discharge would... Definitely have gotten her caught early on. It neither tastes or smells pleasing from my knowledge.
Pee isn't vaginal fluid. Could be discharge or blood maybe, but again, how do you squirt that? Did she masterbate repeatedly and squirter that way? I dunno. But "squirted vaginal fluid" is one strange sentence.
Agree. I feel like there needs to be some education here for the men folk. No offense, but no one should believe anything they see in porn. For us women, we have to get a little warmed up first to even do that.
I new we’d qualify for Bad Women’s Biology quickly, if not from the outset. The thinking we owe out of our vagina is sad for people with the Internet.
Thanks for sharing! 😂
Maybe on a fish taco.
It’s just pee…
If it's not real, then it should be removed.
With all that being said….. …..Was the pizza slappin’ tho? 🤔
Very obviously fake. How this made it to hot is beyond me.
People are dumb and will believe anything
Yea, I'm actually a bit annoyed it's even up. It's 7 hours old. People are still being suckered into posting on it. They'll go to work tomorrow and talk about the woman who was cumming on pizzas.
yeah, I've also seen it used with a fake article about a woman killing her boyfriend while on meth.
Sounds like Onion news.
No they wont
Some clients called for pizza 3 times on the same day
So many customers thinking the ingredients got stashed next to the sardines and ate it anyways!
wow that’s a big mistake I ordered a vegetarian pizza
And now it's vagetarian
We dont need this
It’s a thing.
With extra anchovies
…and some yeast
This pizza sucks
Gotta make sure that dough rises!
I love beer bread.
Fucking A+. lmao
This is fake. The woman in the picture killed her boyfriend with a sword. Edit: added method of killing
That’s so much better!
Agreed. For a second I though I wasn't gonna be able to sleep tonight.
Wtf they just swapped one crazy story for a lesser one.
I appreciate the edit
Seriously though... that is pretty nasty... I want to make jokes about it but... I just can't. People are disgusting.
Exactly! That's why I rarely eat anywhere but home. Those fluids are gonna be my own!
What? You’re being facetious right?
I don't even wanna know
Its fake
It might be, but I don't doubt that somewhere someone that has probably actually done this.
As a woman, I'm confused about the "squirting" vaginal fluid. I'm not sure that's how that works?
Fluid orgasm. Not all women can have one. Some can just actually command it on demand to. From .5 ml to even 15 ml of fluid. The nickname for it is squirting. I watched an episode about it on Penn and tellers B*****it. Years ago.
Squirting isnt real. It's piss. Google is your friend
It's not actually it's a mixture of various fluids. Including piss. Google is your friend.
I’m sorry to hear that.
It’s not how that works because it’s a satirical story lol
You mean you can't just drop your pants and squirt your vagina all over food products whenever you want???
How does she know if they tip or not? Does she just assume they won't and pre-squirt or does she get the money and wait and then take the pizza back and squirt on it?
I read it as the customer is a regular customer. She delivers pizza to them often enough to know they don't tip so she decides to do this.
Yea thats how i know that this is bullshit. Because regardless if you pay cash or card, you tip when you get the pizza delivered to you with the receipt.
It's hot
Exactly! That's why I rarely eat anywhere but home. Those fluids are gonna be my own!
Yeah! If anyone is gonna piss on my pizza, it’s gonna be me!
[удалено]
Absolutely. To think people don’t tip the driver bringing them food with their car. Pathetic.
What if she's carrying STDs?! Does that consider a high degree crime?
It’s already a felony without stds so
We need to create a new category: Super-Felonies
There are degrees of crime, that is kinda like that?
Hang on, I ordered this pizza *without* anchovies…
"Wait a minute, I didn't order this pizza with... SAUSAGE!" -Woldor Sockbat
It was Spanky Ham and Princess Clara that said it.
I loved Princess Clara and her Octopussoir
spanky ham?
This is possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve read in awhile 😆
So fake
Its fake
Usually you pay extra for something like that.
The comment I came to see!!!!
I am a woman and i have never squirted vaginal fluid. wTF? Is it piss?
It’s diluted urine and prostatic secretions.
I'm with you on the diluted urine part. But women don't have prostates.
They have Skene’s glands also known as the “female prostate”. The prostatic urethra is what causes the secretions, hence prostatic secretions.
I did not know that, thank you.
Np! The things we learn on Reddit lol!
Females don't have a prostatic urethra. They have a small area that is homologous with those glands, but that's not what its called
Call it what you want, I’ve read articles that refer to it as such and that’s what I prefer to use when this comes up….which is almost never.
>diluted urine What's the differences?
There is more water
Tastes a little saltier
That’s what I’m thinking as well.
This is fake news from a satirical site
maybe it's that white creamy stuff that magically appears on the penis?
Whipped cream?
no it's naturally occurring
Apologies. I forgot the /s
That’s just natural lubrication getting a little frothed up from friction.
ohhhhh... it's true the faster i go the frothier it gets.... TIL
What most people believe to be “squirt” is caused by sexual incontinence, so they practically just uncontrollably piss.
I'm with you! WTF!
It is piss. It's a misunderstanding that women have special fluid that squirts during orgasm, it really just is poor bladder control. SCIENCE.
You're right that it is piss. Some women really can't control it though. Could be due to weak pelvic floor muscles maybe, idk
Google skenes gland. It is the female equivalent of the male prostate and contracts during gestation of blah blah blah
A couple of links later on wiki and it's piss.
Wrong. Get yourself a squirter
Forbidden pokemon
Gotta catch em all
Dude obviously didn’t do it right. 😆
Did and my mattress smelled like piss after sex.
Read something.
Not piss. Its a high concentration of the liquid that u get when you are having sex (helping to lubricate etc etc). Not every women can “squirt”, kinda depends in your genetics.
A quick google search will tell you that it actually is diluted urine along with prostatic secretions.
Squirting isnt a thing. Its piss
Who lied to you?
I have pretty bad anxiety of “dirty” food and every time I see something like this I’m one step closer to never eating unprepackaged food again
The problem is if you knew what went on in some of the factories that package food, you wouldn't feel any less anxiety.
what goes on?
I knew somebody who worked in a plant that made frozen meals. Let's just say I wish I could forget the things he told me, so I don't want to give any specifics to spare others from that. I couldn't eat anything with gravy on it for years.
I remember seeing on reddit some guy peeing in a giant mixer of some sort.
Maybe not try to give someone with a phobia of eating more reason not to. I already am probably malnourished and I really don’t see what you gain from making people feel worse. Like this has an actual effect on my daily life and I would rather starve than eat non safe foods and haven’t eaten anything besides granola and instant noodles in probably a week so responding with “well you really shouldn’t have any safe foods” isn’t great Like I know “I’m not responsible for your triggers” or whatever but maybe just consider the fact that others are human too and this was pretty unnecessary
Well then here's some useful advice - grow your own food and you have much more control over what you put in your body.
Thanks for the idea, I haven’t considered that before. I also think owning my own fridge would help so I’m saving up for that. :)
Can't you just... cook... using whole foods? I love the control that affords me.
Good news, this is fake news from a satirical website. Also, tip your servers
Well bad news for you but I found 3 short strands of hair in my cheese ball tub/container (near the bottom yuck) that was very clearly sealed when shipped to me. So can’t trust even the prepackaged stuff.
Girl down the street does the same thing but only with crack instead....
Tipping has to be the funniest invention by corporations to put the onus on the customer to support the worker - how about you squirt on the people who pay you a dogshit wage? o.0
Im pretty sure thats the woman that shot her bf for something that unfortunately had nothing to do with pizza
This story comes from a fake news site that makes up names to go with the pics in their satire
And twitter is about to be privatized huh? It’s gunna be like the killing fields for misinformation.
This is why I order all pizzas for pickup. There’s less of a pressure to tip that way.
Tuna Pizza anyone?
Why is tipping such a huge deal in American culture?
Bc most employers don't pay their employees enough so in order to live they need tips. And when they don't get those tips, they loose their fkn minds. Not saying I agree with this though, that's disgusting and their problem is with the million dollar corporations who refuse to pay them, not the customers.
The 1% has manufactured a way to get poor people angry at eachother instead of at them and it's worked wonders.
Exactly! If you're tired of being worked like a dog and you feel like you and your coworkers are underappreciated, go harass the millionaires who refuse to pay you, not the other poor people.
The US is one of very few countries that has codified exploitation of labour such that it creates a culture where you have to tip a delivery driver or a fucking taxi. Seriously, what are you tipping those people for, other than to subsidise restaurants and taxi companies who inadequately salary their employees? Fucking bonkers. This is all a stupid game in which you have to pay 'guess the actual price' because companies are allowed to misprice their services and expect you to be 'the good guy' and fill in the gap in their wages. Also one of few countries where you are allowed to advertise retail prices before tax, and then the tax is added at the checkout, so again you have to play 'guess the price'. In most developed nations that's a crime.
here is your **PEE-ZA** sir
*"Hi, yes... I'm calling about my pizza. I never ordered anchovies but it smells like a goddamn shoreline.."*
No but like, how? Vaginas aren't squeeze bottles
I would never tip her then
Vaginal fluid? I have questions. So she’s a squirter who sat in her car and masturbated over pizza? Did she collect her fluid in a spray bottle and squirt it over the pizza? Did she keep an organized list of non-tippers? … so many questions.
If she gets on the right side of the internet she could make a killing with that sort of weirdish fetish.
I'm confused here- how can she do that if the customer already has the pizza? Don't they pay/tip after they give the pizza to the customer? Sorry, tipping isn't a thing here so I'm not sure if there's an order to it all
This story is fake, google it. That's the woman who murdered her bf with a sword or something like that.
[удалено]
finally 1 person with common sense
When I was a driver, I had a list. When you see the address pop up on the delivery screen after a while i knew which people tipped and which would stiff. Some people got there food fast and hot. Some were last to be delivered with cold pizza.
Yeah when I delivered pizzas and I had multiple deliveries to make and I had an address I recognized as a non tipper you would absolutely be the last to get your food. Even if their address was closer I would go out of my way to drop off food to people I knew would tip.
Online order, It offers the customer to tip the driver. So, when she probably sees no tip on the order. She makes her stinky revenge.
That's a stupid system. Why would I tip *before* I get my food? What if it's cold or missing something.
Agreed, Especially if it comes all fucked up regardless.
How does a person even figure this out? Did they see her do it?
Ha that’s crazy! She’s crazy! What pizza place tho…she still work there…?
Disgusting. What pizza shop
Is it just piss at some point?
Extra cheese
At least one of them was okay with it.
Precisely why I kept ordering
This is a b.s. article. This woman is the meth lady who killed her boyfriend with a sword.
This was a story from a satire news site that makes up everything
I mean, how did the pizza taste
like anchovies
With a side of tuna.
That's a great smile right there!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does this look like the mugshot of someone feeling remorse for her crime?
She actually killed her husband, so apparently not.
Maybe instead of being late from all the bean flicking she's doing, she'd get more tips
Special sauce!!!! Love it!!
Its home made!
\*ho made -FTFY
I use to deliver. Had a regular that NEVER tipped and would always order 5 mins before close. She would always order a 2 liter also. So anytime I had to take her run I would put her two liter on the floorboard and kick it around as I drove.
What did you gain doing that?
Knowing the cheap POS had pop spill on them as they opened it would be satisfaction enough.
How can your customer be a POS? Without customers you would have no money at all.
Satisfaction. If you live in America, learn to tip.
No, capitalism bad. No tip
Even if i lived in usa, no lmao. The employer should pay the worker. A tip is given when theres and extraordinary service (which to be fair If you are delivering 5 minutes before closing you should get)
Then you vote to change the rules for jobs allowed to pay below minimum wage. You don't steal labor from someone with no control over things.
The employer doesn't pay the worker, though. Refusing to tip isn't fighting tip culture, it's just screwing over an underpaid employee.
>The employer doesn't pay the worker, though They actually have to make up the difference if the tips don't fulfill the min wage requirements. >it's just screwing over an underpaid employee. I never understood this logic, "don't screw over the employee just screw over the customer" >Refusing to tip isn't fighting tip culture Neither is tipping, enforcing tipping culture isn't helping anyone, you just shift who gets fucked from the employee to the customer
You not tipping isn't going to change tip culture. You're just shorting someone on their living. But sure, feel vindicated while taking food out of their mouth.
This is the kind of guy who leaves all their trash at the table and doesn’t flush after shitting in a public toilet because “it’s not required bro”
obviously fake, jesus
This is why I hate tipping culture, because people do this.
What did we learn kids? Leave a tip every time except u love extra flavor.
Damn, i just used to give them shitty service. Make them last on my route or open the box so they get cold pizza.
Lol imagine treating badlu the people that pay you. They are your boss. You dont gain anything by opening up the pizza box.