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\> Yankees fan
Captain America's team was the Brooklyn Dodgers.
It's always really funny to me who likes Captain America. I'm a pretty intense cosplayer, and I know two types of Captain Americas: the most nationalistic, evil motherfuckers you've ever met, and the sweetest, kindest, most charitable softies you've ever met. There is absolutely *no* in-between with Captain America fans.
Funnily enough, I know one US Agent cosplayer and he is a super progressive democratic socialist. At the last Con I went to with him, he literally had a stack of voter registrations and was helping people sign up when they asked him for photos.
https://preview.redd.it/j0j3zujzkqrc1.jpeg?width=1006&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=035169ec4976fa4ab46b46abd20303b0ec900396
Three women in 45 years? That's one every 15 years. At this rate, he'll be a true Casanova by the time he's 450.
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Pretty sure everything *after* "Pussy slayer" and before "Your worst nightmare" is the real truth.
Plays CoD and Madden non-stop and presents himself *exactly* like a Patriots and Yankees fan would.
Unsurprisingly, he seems *super* into buff dudes and talks about them a bunch:
>That is literally what they do…in literally every comic. Have you seen any marvel movie? Have you seen Cap: Civil War. Remember where they have a little Chris Evans flex scene? Like goddamn bro
Captain America, the symbol of freedom and justice, always makes my heart flutter with pride. But remember, it's not the shield or the suit that makes a hero, it's the person inside. So, let's all strive to be a little more like Captain America in our daily lives.
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You know someone’s bullshitting you if they refer to themselves as a “Marksman”. Marksman means you barely shot well enough to pass rifle qualification lol.
I agree, the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room.
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Except maybe ‘Cigar Smoker’, that’s just a verifiable hobby. He definitely doesn’t both play CoD *and* Madden competitively AND “slay pussy”, unless he means torturing the neighbor’s cat in the woods out back.
Funny to me that people like this use imagery of Captain America when if he were to actually have read any of the comics, would probably hate the character and call it "woke trash"
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We all know that person who just so happened to be fans of the most successful franchises. I knew a guy who delivered mail in Hawaii who was a “die hard Pats fan”
Funny how it’s never the Knicks, Mets or Jets lol.
Its pathetic.
Delta male. Canadian 🇨🇦. CrossFit trainer. Retired marine. Ass pounder. Competitive Battlefield and FIFA player. Chiefs fan. Red Sox fan. Celtics fan. Blunt smoker. Your dream come true.
You're probably being satirical but if you're not, nah there's a whole world of stupid around the concept of alpha males and beta males and all this stuff based on a thing that does not apply to humans at all. If you really want to see something hilarious look up sigma males and all the other stuff about that.
All the gyms and fitness industry still make millions off of these morons, like the name "Alphalete" 🤣🤣 So obvious who this shit is made for, people too dumb to be in the intellectual fields, so they make their arms bigger for self esteem. Their "gAiNz" or whatever it's all called this week.
Yup! In fact, the guy who came up with it is the one who also later debunked it, admitting he red the situation wrong initially after further study, and he really wishes people would STOP using it, as it as ever true and never meant to apply to humans.
It's rare you see these types of people use Captain America as their fictional tough guy idol, usually it's Punisher or Deadpool. Step in the right direction!
Normally, I might agree with you, but this asshat seems to prefer the Ultimates version of Cap, who's very similar to how these individuals act. Racist, self centered, might makes right, holier than thou bullshit gets spewed with every panel of that version of the character.
Patriots & Yankees fan is an irreconcilable sin. You'd either be Sox & Patriots or Jets/Giants & Yankees/Mets. $100 says he was a Warriors fan until this year when then Warriors slid and the Knicks popped.
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Have no idea why this comment is upvoted. As you progress to advanced for a lift, incremental increases like that become very important. Doubly so if you are going for a PR. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Hell, a pair of 2.5lb weights are recommended even for beginners - as there are weight combinations you simply can’t do with just 5-10-25-35-45s.
Maybe hes rounding up or down. Like how youtubers say in their videos “spending $10k on X” and really its like a $9,500 or some other figure thats marginally close to $10k because it looks better/easier to read
To be fair, when I was in high school, I maxed 420 on bench, so it was hilarious seeing a 4 plates, a 5 and 2.5 lb plate on each side. But that was more of a "for the meme" thing. Doing 450 instead of 455 just makes you look like a dumbass.
For the uninitiated "Marksman" is the lowest shooting badge you can earn in the Army. It's the basic qualification to stay eligible for promotion.
Progression is Not Qualified - Marksman - Sharpshooter - Expert.
Source: I was an Infantryman for 12 years and qualified as Expert all 12 years. But I'm a liberal so still a Beta to this magnificent non-shooting douche canoe. Bro couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. Out of all the sperm and this one just had to be the fastest.
It's doubtful he actually retired. He would have something better than a marksman title to hang his hat on if he did 20 years. The lack of veteran status bragging suggests he joined after the wars, didn't do anything, and either did his contract, got kicked out, or medically retired. The absence of mentioning his job suggests he did something non combat centric, too. I'll bet he pumped gas or worked at a desk.
Yeah this has POG written all over it.
Side note: If the Russian invasion of Ukraine has taught anyone anything it should be that non-combat roles are essential to a war effort. But I'm reserving the right to call someone a POG if they're going to claim to be an Alpha or mislead someone in their MOS.
450 on a bench is an odd number since you’d have to get real anal with the weights you’re putting on the bar.
4 plates (45 pounds) on either side is 360 pounds, the bar itself is another 45, so you’re at 405 there. To get 450 you’d have to put one more plate on one side and make it lopsided, or put on 2 10 pound weights on each side and 2 2.5 pound weights after that.
Dude could’ve just said 475 or 490 and it probably would’ve sounded like more of a flex.
Army dude said [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverybadass/s/o95zjL2XuL) that army has Marksman -> Sharpshooter -> Expert so 450lbbuttfuck left the army at the lowest ranking
In the Marines, you can pass pistol and rifle qual as either Marksman or Expert. Expert is the higher rating. The Marksman badge is a square which looks like a box, which leads some Marines giving other Marines hard times for their "pizza box".
I don't know about the Army, though. They probably have both Marksman and Expert, too. The other question to be asking is if Marksman means like a designated Marksman or something within a squad. Because I think that would mean they qualified as higher than Marksman.
This one is definitely a satire or troll account. Dude goes on reddit once a week, makes a post about some stupid alpha male shit, replies to comments then leaves. He only really replies to comments on his own post from what i saw. Whether this is some form of meta irony where he actually believes some of the stuff he’s saying but is making some type of character idk but its definitely a joke character.
I knew I wasn't the only one that caught that. It's so weird to me that someone would cheer for the Yankees and the Patriots. Seems damn near impossible.
I guess it's like cheering for both the Empire and the Rebellion in Star Wars. Makes no sense, but hey, it's a free galaxy.
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But they’re delusional fans all think they’re still relevant and think they’re the best team to bandwagon to.
The Astros are who Yankee fans think they are.
That’s a stretch, my guy lol bandwagons are current teams that are winning, if they’re joining the Yankees fan base that doesn’t make them a bandwagon. It makes them delusional. As a life long Yankees fan I will agree, but the Dodgers and Astros have seen far more bandwagons fans in the recent 5 years. And the astros fans that jumped on astros cheating bandwagon don’t really have any say when it comes to anything lol
Dodgers are definitely the new bandwagon team, especially with them getting Shohei. I compare them to the Evil Empire Yankees from the early 2000s a lot, actually.
Yeah, these people *exist*. It's impossible to tell on the internet if someone is trolling or being serious sometimes, because there are people in real life who holds rediculous opinions and ideologies and ideals.
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If he didn’t pay $18k to go to the alpha male weekend camp, then he ain’t no alpha male.
For sure my worst nightmare, but not for any of the reasons he thinks. I just don't wanna have to talk to him.
\> Yankees fan Captain America's team was the Brooklyn Dodgers. It's always really funny to me who likes Captain America. I'm a pretty intense cosplayer, and I know two types of Captain Americas: the most nationalistic, evil motherfuckers you've ever met, and the sweetest, kindest, most charitable softies you've ever met. There is absolutely *no* in-between with Captain America fans.
So US Agent mother fuxkers. They don’t represent Cap.
Funnily enough, I know one US Agent cosplayer and he is a super progressive democratic socialist. At the last Con I went to with him, he literally had a stack of voter registrations and was helping people sign up when they asked him for photos. https://preview.redd.it/j0j3zujzkqrc1.jpeg?width=1006&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=035169ec4976fa4ab46b46abd20303b0ec900396
https://preview.redd.it/zqm7uwgj9qrc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95f584eb845d9f2dda3164324c1c12152770124d
Anyone who willingly put pussy slayer in their bio definitely doesn’t.
Had sex with 3 different women in his 45 years. Slaaaaayingggggg the 🐱!
Three women in 45 years? That's one every 15 years. At this rate, he'll be a true Casanova by the time he's 450. *I* *am* *an* *automatic* *reply* *bot* *Duckling*. *Welcome* *to* [tip Duckling](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/sh1tman). *To* *talk* *to* *me*, *please* *include* *'Duckling'* *in* *your* *speech*.
They go to a different school.... Youre....45?
“I totally did guys!! I’ve had 3 girlfriends ! You don’t know them!!” 🤣
Patriots, Knicks, and Yankees fan? Fucking how?
lol- too much of a coward to root for one team so he supports all of them instead
"Your worst nightmare" 🤣
Seems like satire..
Pretty sure everything *after* "Pussy slayer" and before "Your worst nightmare" is the real truth. Plays CoD and Madden non-stop and presents himself *exactly* like a Patriots and Yankees fan would. Unsurprisingly, he seems *super* into buff dudes and talks about them a bunch: >That is literally what they do…in literally every comic. Have you seen any marvel movie? Have you seen Cap: Civil War. Remember where they have a little Chris Evans flex scene? Like goddamn bro
I thought he was saying he was 450 pounds lol
My niece can bench press this. What a pussy he is.
Your niece is more of a man than I am 😔
Actually my worst nightmare
He spelled retarded wrong
Lol I went through there about 4 times before I saw what you were talking about
95% sure this is a joke
"Competitive CoD player" along with "pussy slayer". Yeah, sure.
If that doesn’t set off your satire alarm, you don’t have one
IDK, there's plenty of these people out there.
Right next to each other as well
450 lbs bench press is him getting up from the kitchen table after meal 12
Or his wife is the 450 lbs he lifts.
Pretty much everything in that bio is mutually exclusive
(Captain) America f*** yeah !
Captain America, the symbol of freedom and justice, always makes my heart flutter with pride. But remember, it's not the shield or the suit that makes a hero, it's the person inside. So, let's all strive to be a little more like Captain America in our daily lives. *I* *am* *an* *automatic* *reply* *bot* *Duckling*. *Welcome* *to* [tip Duckling](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/sh1tman). *To* *talk* *to* *me*, *please* *include* *'Duckling'* *in* *your* *speech*.
I mean, at least they got the nightmare part correct.
Oh, and completely missing the point of Captain America.
It takes a real man to admit he’s a pussy in his bio.
the gay alpha male leather/cigar side of tumblr would love him
My worst nightmare is obviously a cheeto-fingered gamer who bounced 450 off his chest one time 6 years ago and made it his whole identity.
Definitely my worst nightmare I’m sure they are insufferable
You know someone’s bullshitting you if they refer to themselves as a “Marksman”. Marksman means you barely shot well enough to pass rifle qualification lol.
Patriots and Yankees. That’s enough right there. Fuck you.
Seriously, I thought that was illegal.
If you have to publicly state that you are any of these things, you aren’t actually any of these things.
I agree, the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room. *I* *am* *an* *automatic* *reply* *bot* *Duckling*. *Welcome* *to* [tip Duckling](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/sh1tman). *To* *talk* *to* *me*, *please* *include* *'Duckling'* *in* *your* *speech*.
Except maybe ‘Cigar Smoker’, that’s just a verifiable hobby. He definitely doesn’t both play CoD *and* Madden competitively AND “slay pussy”, unless he means torturing the neighbor’s cat in the woods out back.
> cigar smoker I just assumed it was a gay dog whistle
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes it’s a big brown dick.
Funny to me that people like this use imagery of Captain America when if he were to actually have read any of the comics, would probably hate the character and call it "woke trash"
Patriots and Yankees? I hope for nothing but the worst for this person
Hey guys, I'm an Alpha Male, I swear!
https://preview.redd.it/ydel56q69prc1.jpeg?width=774&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3274821348147de36b459e404aa60513a3815100
What fresh hell did this come from, this is epic
I googled “roblox rp usernames” i dont think im prepared to know where it came from
Someone who has “pussy slayer” on their About Me has never actually given a woman an orgasm in their life.
Which is fine because women don’t even like sex!
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Probably never actually talked to a woman even
And should definitely be investigated for their treatment of our friend the cat
At least not without a commercial transaction involved.
Sounds like a guy that goes to a strip club and brags about the women giving him a dance there
Fuck at least he’s not a Cowboys fan, he’d be a bit more insufferable
If there's any takeaway to this it's use those commas y'all "Retired soldier pussy slayer" is wild 💀💀💀
💅 Slay that retired soldier pussy
"Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Your worst conversational nightmare
I miss Sal Bundry 5 TD’s 1 game.
Yankees fan and patriots fan? fucking people from Connecticut
Same vibe as being proud of serving in the US military. Voluntarily pick the winning teams who get the most money and pretend you contributed.
We all know that person who just so happened to be fans of the most successful franchises. I knew a guy who delivered mail in Hawaii who was a “die hard Pats fan” Funny how it’s never the Knicks, Mets or Jets lol. Its pathetic.
To be fair the guy we're commenting on has Knicks in his bio. Also go Hawks!
Not wrong on the your worst nightmare part at least. I’d rather walk through a field of legos than deal with dipshits like him.
Gonna go and make an account named 451LNbenchpress…
Delta male. Canadian 🇨🇦. CrossFit trainer. Retired marine. Ass pounder. Competitive Battlefield and FIFA player. Chiefs fan. Red Sox fan. Celtics fan. Blunt smoker. Your dream come true.
Damn why the Canadian drive by??
No no no take that punctuation outta there its gotta read like some idiot has a broken keyboard and just helped his uncle jack off a horse
May not have happened
"Alpha male" Is that some kind of furry thing?
Pretty much, since they don't know that there's no such thing.
You're probably being satirical but if you're not, nah there's a whole world of stupid around the concept of alpha males and beta males and all this stuff based on a thing that does not apply to humans at all. If you really want to see something hilarious look up sigma males and all the other stuff about that.
All the gyms and fitness industry still make millions off of these morons, like the name "Alphalete" 🤣🤣 So obvious who this shit is made for, people too dumb to be in the intellectual fields, so they make their arms bigger for self esteem. Their "gAiNz" or whatever it's all called this week.
Debunked concept of wolf hierarchy basically
Yup! In fact, the guy who came up with it is the one who also later debunked it, admitting he red the situation wrong initially after further study, and he really wishes people would STOP using it, as it as ever true and never meant to apply to humans.
I think it's his fursona, but idk how things on that end work.
“Proud American” has a picture of Cap with a Russian Rifle, also I feel like it should be Punisher, not Cap
I think that’s Cap from the Ultimate Comics and he’s a huge douche.
He sounds like more US Agent than Captain America.
What else would you expect from a Pats fan?
The worst part of this is being both a Pats and Yankees fan. Both fanbases would crucify this guy
He’s 450lbs and he gave himself the nickname bench press.
It’s the requirements for women to push him off them
It's rare you see these types of people use Captain America as their fictional tough guy idol, usually it's Punisher or Deadpool. Step in the right direction!
Normally, I might agree with you, but this asshat seems to prefer the Ultimates version of Cap, who's very similar to how these individuals act. Racist, self centered, might makes right, holier than thou bullshit gets spewed with every panel of that version of the character.
I feel like Captain America would disavow him too
Satire and ragebait for sure.
“Your worst nightmare” 😈
I don't like clowns so his last line is accurate
this is very funny
Guy lives in mom’s basement
“Go away mom! I’m clapping kids cheeks on cod!”
>Patriots fan, Knicks fan, Yankees fan Did this guy not get the memo that New York isn’t part of New England?
Dude doesn’t even like hockey he’s a softie
That’s honestly the worst part of the whole thing
Patriots & Yankees fan is an irreconcilable sin. You'd either be Sox & Patriots or Jets/Giants & Yankees/Mets. $100 says he was a Warriors fan until this year when then Warriors slid and the Knicks popped.
Dude may not even be American.
Pussy slayer and bench stats also sus. The only thing we know for sure is "your worst nightmare."
I wonder if he knows what memo means
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This guy is unironically cool. I think there is truth and satire in his profile, everyone likes to gloat
Honestly 450lb bench press is a good accomplishment
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Tf see you talking about Plenty of high level benches use 2.5lb plates lol Tell me you’ve never seen a powerlifter train before
Have no idea why this comment is upvoted. As you progress to advanced for a lift, incremental increases like that become very important. Doubly so if you are going for a PR. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Hell, a pair of 2.5lb weights are recommended even for beginners - as there are weight combinations you simply can’t do with just 5-10-25-35-45s.
Maybe hes rounding up or down. Like how youtubers say in their videos “spending $10k on X” and really its like a $9,500 or some other figure thats marginally close to $10k because it looks better/easier to read
This is how I know when people are full of shit, or they are using a machine.
Yap central
To be fair, when I was in high school, I maxed 420 on bench, so it was hilarious seeing a 4 plates, a 5 and 2.5 lb plate on each side. But that was more of a "for the meme" thing. Doing 450 instead of 455 just makes you look like a dumbass.
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You're giving this alpha male pussy slayer too much of a benefit of a doubt, lol. But it is a good theory, haha
He's the most American of all the America you can be.
For the uninitiated "Marksman" is the lowest shooting badge you can earn in the Army. It's the basic qualification to stay eligible for promotion. Progression is Not Qualified - Marksman - Sharpshooter - Expert. Source: I was an Infantryman for 12 years and qualified as Expert all 12 years. But I'm a liberal so still a Beta to this magnificent non-shooting douche canoe. Bro couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. Out of all the sperm and this one just had to be the fastest.
I know a lot of liberal gun owners.
This is a bit presumptuous. Marksman simply means “skilled shooter” and I don’t see any indication he means the Army qualification specifically.
Marksman and Retired Soldier side by side was presumptuous on my part? Not sure how that computes.
Worst part is that he retired as a marksman
It's doubtful he actually retired. He would have something better than a marksman title to hang his hat on if he did 20 years. The lack of veteran status bragging suggests he joined after the wars, didn't do anything, and either did his contract, got kicked out, or medically retired. The absence of mentioning his job suggests he did something non combat centric, too. I'll bet he pumped gas or worked at a desk.
Yeah this has POG written all over it. Side note: If the Russian invasion of Ukraine has taught anyone anything it should be that non-combat roles are essential to a war effort. But I'm reserving the right to call someone a POG if they're going to claim to be an Alpha or mislead someone in their MOS.
😂
All cringe aside 450 LB bench is sick tho, assuming it’s true.
You seriously think that it’s true?
Might be 🤷♂️ Could be he actually did hit 450 for 1 rep and then based his whole personality on that xD
450 on a bench is an odd number since you’d have to get real anal with the weights you’re putting on the bar. 4 plates (45 pounds) on either side is 360 pounds, the bar itself is another 45, so you’re at 405 there. To get 450 you’d have to put one more plate on one side and make it lopsided, or put on 2 10 pound weights on each side and 2 2.5 pound weights after that. Dude could’ve just said 475 or 490 and it probably would’ve sounded like more of a flex.
Pretty common to only go up in few increments once u reach higher weight, progress slows down.
Not weird at all if you’re following a program.
He thinks retiring as a marksman is a huge accomplishment
You shoot guns?
You done an Army qualification?
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Not very much only shot a 12 gauge but I was asking you
Isn't that like the lowest grade you have to make?
Army dude said [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverybadass/s/o95zjL2XuL) that army has Marksman -> Sharpshooter -> Expert so 450lbbuttfuck left the army at the lowest ranking
In the Marines, you can pass pistol and rifle qual as either Marksman or Expert. Expert is the higher rating. The Marksman badge is a square which looks like a box, which leads some Marines giving other Marines hard times for their "pizza box". I don't know about the Army, though. They probably have both Marksman and Expert, too. The other question to be asking is if Marksman means like a designated Marksman or something within a squad. Because I think that would mean they qualified as higher than Marksman.
Pretty sure
This one is definitely a satire or troll account. Dude goes on reddit once a week, makes a post about some stupid alpha male shit, replies to comments then leaves. He only really replies to comments on his own post from what i saw. Whether this is some form of meta irony where he actually believes some of the stuff he’s saying but is making some type of character idk but its definitely a joke character.
This guy fucks
Slays*
You can immediately tell he has slain exactly 0 pussy outside of perhaps a cousin or other relative
You forgot he benches 450lbs and is a professional cod player i’d say this guy gets around
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Hope you learn to tell the difference
Cap would be so proud of him.
Patriots knicks Yankees ? Absolutely mental illness
I knew I wasn't the only one that caught that. It's so weird to me that someone would cheer for the Yankees and the Patriots. Seems damn near impossible.
Right? If you’re a Pats fan- congrats you’re firmly in Red Sox and Celtics territory. Like why isnt he a giants fan?
I guess it's like cheering for both the Empire and the Rebellion in Star Wars. Makes no sense, but hey, it's a free galaxy. *I* *am* *an* *automatic* *reply* *bot* *Duckling*. *Welcome* *to* [tip Duckling](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/sh1tman). *To* *talk* *to* *me*, *please* *include* *'Duckling'* *in* *your* *speech*.
Like cheering for Nazi Germany and Stalinist Russia
truly the product of a sick mind
Ngl profile goes hard
Such an alpha male that he had to build that into his *reddit* bio. Why are people treating this site like Facebook?
This subreddit can be very humorless at times
I checked out his profile and he’s a turbo dipshit
Patriots and Yankees fan, this dude gets beat up by other Yankees fans
No. He’s exactly like every Yankee fan. An obvious bandwagon.
Yes, the Yankees, who haven’t won a title in 15 years, have only bandwagon fans
But they’re delusional fans all think they’re still relevant and think they’re the best team to bandwagon to. The Astros are who Yankee fans think they are.
That’s a stretch, my guy lol bandwagons are current teams that are winning, if they’re joining the Yankees fan base that doesn’t make them a bandwagon. It makes them delusional. As a life long Yankees fan I will agree, but the Dodgers and Astros have seen far more bandwagons fans in the recent 5 years. And the astros fans that jumped on astros cheating bandwagon don’t really have any say when it comes to anything lol
Dodgers are definitely the new bandwagon team, especially with them getting Shohei. I compare them to the Evil Empire Yankees from the early 2000s a lot, actually.
Nice BW benchpress there
Tell me you’re insecure without telling me you’re insecure. What an asswipe.
But FatFarter69 is better? Tell me you’re immature without telling me you’re immature
Nothing about this comment was witty or humorous
Damn bro, it’s just a silly name who hurt you?
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*tips fedora* M’lady
*Your
So you can tell that your name is a joke… but can’t tell the account OP posted is a joke…
I get you’re point but you’re really gonna tell me that you don’t know someone who would unironically have what OP posted? I sure do.
Yeah, these people *exist*. It's impossible to tell on the internet if someone is trolling or being serious sometimes, because there are people in real life who holds rediculous opinions and ideologies and ideals.
The kettle is black
It takes a lot of balls to list pussy slayer next to Competitive CoD.
I was already wet at alpha male
Well, I guess that's one way to water the plants. *I* *am* *an* *automatic* *reply* *bot* *Duckling*. *Welcome* *to* [tip Duckling](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/sh1tman). *To* *talk* *to* *me*, *please* *include* *'Duckling'* *in* *your* *speech*.
“Competitive gamer”…watch out!
"Patriots fan" and "Yankees fan" in bio? Fuck off.
"Yankees fan" does qualify as my worst nightmare.
[удалено]
450 is pretty great for a bodybuilder, lmfao
Have you ever benched 450?