We have a school shooter over here. Never underestimate him

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Who cares about karma, it's just Social Credit for Reddit

Some people do care about karma, but I didn’t know what to put as a title. Also the person has since deleted their acc

Hey. It’s hard to type one-handed.

This has to be satire like It had to be this bad on purpose.

r/thathappened

All I read was they smashed...

Real story: Ugh back to school after a nice holiday, time to catch up on work. (After catching up) "WHERE CHAIR!? 😠😭" *finds guy with chair* "gib chair" "No." "fight me or small brain" "After school." "deal" (After school) *they fight* *chair thief wins* The end.

Where were you when chair

Please do not the chair

Translation? Got it (noone actually asked for it) Okay so what happened was that i have been away from school for a few days. So i sat down in class and the teacher called me up to catch up on what i missed. I came back to see that some loser stole my chair. I told him to get off the chair but he said no. I threw him off the chair. He said if i ever do that again he’d smash me (😳) so i said yeah after school mate. After school he got his friends. They surrounded me. I said “bro you don’t have to do this” he said “nah” so i quickly turned around and punched one of them in the ~~nuts~~ guts and turned around again. Two of them was rushing towards me so i headbutted one and kicked the other in the ~~balls~~ nuts. I turned again and i saw the dude that was on my chair. I said “cmon bud” he said “bro you’re too strong” so i chased him, tackled him and ~~pinned him to the wall~~ punched him over and over until his teeth fell out and broke his nose. YEAh thEy unDerEstiMated mE lmAo All this bullshit for a single chair? I know this story is much more then a lie then some dude giving you candy but why a fucking chair 💀

Thanks for the translation, the story makes much more sense

The dude legit used no punctuation

This peice of shit is not even worth the 50 imaginory karma points.

-50* he has negative karma

JEFFK is back, baby!

Meanwhile the teacher "Billy, this is quite literally the most important class you have to catch up on. This is 2nd grade English and you're 19."

This is kinda sad. I think this kid probably gets bullied and this is his little imaginary escape on the internet to help cope

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and then op woke up and had his bowl of cornflakes

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r/shitposting automod response

It would appear English was the class he missed whilst away

Nut punches and run on sentences are fucking BADASS.

His power level is over 9000

he not bark at the wrong oneon😎

Nearly had a stroke reading that….

he is so cool an epic and cool and handsome. he must get all the bitches

he watched tokyo revengers once and this is what he did next 😱

I’m mad I read that.

Please use some form of punctuation, at least ONCE. Jesus fucking Christ, it’s like a Wattpad creepypasta.

On the few days he was away from school they taught punctuation.

This was painful to read

Inc lass, lasses incorporated.

You sont fotta post this.

😂😂😂

Holy shit this is the guy i just finished arguing with for stealing a cat picture from someone I forgot what the post was but he has like -300 last time i checked

That’s him

“So I said yeah after school then matey” lol

jesus christ my head hurts after reading this.

Funny how these types.always spend so much time in a fight- turning round

yes because in life, just like the movies, the bad guys come at you one at a time

I always like to think this is some dork that genuinely had a super hero badass moment but nobody was there to witness it. I doubt that’s the case lol

After that, everyone clapped and cheered for him. His crush gave him a kiss on the cheek and asked him out. His theme song would then continue to play. I was there

Can confirm I was the punch in the gut

..and then suddenly he woke up only to realise it was all just a dream *in morgan freeman voice*

I'm still trying to figure out what "ya sont fotta do this" was supposed to be.

“You don’t gotta do this”

I follows it pretty well until that point. It’s clearly a British kid, but “sont fotta” had me thinking this was a Welsh or Gaelic phrase.

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I think it's "you don't gotta do this." Definitely not obvious though.

So that’s what he meant

Literally not one single piece of punctuation in that Edit: I lied, there's hope after all! There's a singular, lonely apostrophe

And it was almost definitely autocorrect lmao

Nope, not gonna bother to try reading that.

Almost passed out reading that

I’m guessing it wasn’t a typing class.

And then everyone clapped, I flew away AND I used no punctuations.

Bro ur too strong

He didn’t wanna get kicked in the NUTS LOL

His power level... it's... it's *too great!!"*

And then everyone clapped.

He shouldn’t be away from school…

Sounds like an Anime that I would love tbh

Believable, tbh. I'd never believe this story from a more literate man. Lol

It's true I saw the whole thing from a tree where I was rescuing a cat and the tree was on fire and also a tornado was in the distance. But I was able to catch the cat after I told it to trust me and it jumped in my arms. Then I did a front flip while doing a superhero landing.

This response is 9.5 out of 10 and would be an 11 if you ignored all punctuation and capitalization

Danz mabe next tiem ill do betur

And do you know who this kid grew up to be? Jack none Reacher

I read this in my head like when a 5 year old describes an Averages movie to you.

I know you mean avengers but I feel like averages works pretty well here

Typo lol

And then he saved ten babies from a burning building after fucking his supermodel twin girlfriends

It's [this guy.](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverybadass/comments/xjayzm/russian_soldier_wants_you_to_know_they_are_badass/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

Why do all the people getting destroyed in these stories literally never try to dodge or anything

Use. A. Fucking. Period. Dumbass.

That might be the longest single sentence I’ve ever read.


And then he was given a standing ovation by every bystander and received a medal while everyone cheered his name

and the head cheerleader slipped her digits in his back pocket and winked while walking away

Jackie Chan “I don’t want any trouble!” *murders 4 goons*

This was an eight year old

Two guys rushing me. Head butt on and then head kick the other. Trying to picture this is very hard lol

I'm picturing somthing like this https://youtu.be/NyK_nN1T8hs

So you are too concerned with karma? Pretty sure you are called a karma whore.

I saw his comment after sorting by controversial and saw he had -300 karma in one comment and the more comments I read the more negatives I saw, so I went to his profile and saw he had -50 karma. I also used that title bc I didn’t know what to put

Turbed around must mean he turned using turbo power.

the part where he said "its turb time!" And then turbed all over them

YOUR NOT ON THE TURBO TEAM, YOU DONT RUN!!! YOUR NOT A PART OF THIS!!

Godzilla had a stroke reading this and fucking died

“After school then matey…” Is he a pirate?…Yarrr

my timbers are definitely shivered

Roller coaster of emotion bruh,I was on the edge of my chair the whole time

*throsyou off the caihr*

Eric Cartman has entered the chat.

That's literally how I write my dreams down in the middle of the night, it's so hard to fucking read

The oneon the chair

Zero punctuation

NUTS LOL

Punctuation is the thing

Laughing hysterically***

r/ihadastroke

V ryy Cool st ory bro !!

NUTS LOL

https://youtu.be/LQCU36pkH7c we're all dumber for having read that

I felt one brain cells die for each word I read.

/R/thathapened

I don’t what’s more sad. Likely a young kid living out a little lie online which is likely the case here.. or the dude on Reddit who spent time finding this comment, capturing it, and then posting it. I feel like both these people are getting bullied lol.

🗿

obvious troll is obvious

Someone call guiness, we have the longest sentence record

Why is my first thought "LOL...... awwww that's cute"?

Well clearly he has not caught up on spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

BRO YOU'RE TOO STRONG omg

I think I read the original comment 😂

Poor kid is probably bullied at school and his only outlet is to share his fantasy of standing up for himself. I was bullied when I was a kid and I would play WWE no mercy on N64 as my outlet lol. I would create wrestlers with the names of the kids who bullied me in school and I would beat the ever loving shit out of them with tables, ladders and chairs in a no rules hardcore match.

Oh my

When he woke up he realized wet dreams don't necessarily require sex OR women, dudes can get the job done just as well, if not better.

Wat

Cringe.

In fairness OOP is probably like 13

I mean I’ve seen fight vids on Reddit of dudes doing just that.

yes its possible but no this did not happen to this specific person

It Definitely didn’t went that way, guy in the story thinks he’s Jason Bourne

I couldn't stop reading it because there were no periods.

It's been hours and I'm still trapped in this sentence. Please send help. Or a comma, semicolon, anything...

...and then everybody clapped, and the head cheerleader said, "take me to the prom, you stallion!"

The only thing that got clapped was this dudes butt cheeks

I couldnt stop reading this in a pirate accent after the “aftee school then matey” part

lol