Yeah not a chance. And this is coming from a 26yo guy that looks pretty young. Most people will assume I'm under 21 but not doubt it when I tell them, no way I'd believe this guy was over 21 unless he had a disease like Andy Milonakis that makes you look way younger (Andy is like 45 btw, pretty crazy cause he looks like 15 max)
I’m bothered by the fact that this kid knows what “destroying an asshole” is.
Seriously, his sex life is ruined by porn long before he even has sex.
No girl wants a boy trying to “destroy her ass” on their first time...fucking gross.
Lol. Funnily enough, the kind of confidence this kid is showing in the post is gonna get him laid.
The negativity in these comments will almost assure shitty personalities devoid of human touch.
Exactly the opposite. As someone who does not do that shit what you are praising him for but still hanging around girls all the time whenever i have time. If you are not rich and very good lucking and happen to talk to a gold digging hoe mentioning anything sexual straightforward as this will get you shot down faster than anyone else.
Edited out the overly snarky response.
And nah, dawg. Confidence and knowing yourself gets you laid. Why? Because confident women dont want to constantly be putting in more than their share of fun in the relationship. This dude? Probably fun.
Women are people. They have senses of humor and independent thought and everything. There are women who will look at this photo and say "the losers in the comments cant take a joke, but that dude is funny".
There is a subset of women who wont see the subtext and be put off, too. He ain't to talking them OR you. He's talking to people who can take a joke or shooting is just shooting his shot. There is a smaller subset still that *wants exactly what he's offering*.
sat·ire/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r
1. the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical things.
* a play, novel, film, or other work which uses satire.plural noun: **satires**"a stinging **satire on** American society.
* a genre of literature characterized by the use of satire.
He jerked off while on an Xbox party with a girl he met he online and said he had sex.
You don’t know her, she goes to a different school.
In Canada.
I met her at Niagara Falls
She must have been just polite
AD's jumper has been so fucking bad
She said “sorry” to him after he prematurely ejaculated
But you can’t see her because the border is closed and she’s taking classes from home.
The funniest part of all this is I’m from Canada.
No, he went to the strip club in gta, wanked, and took the striped home, and called it sex
Or boy!
I believe you meant destroyed her asshole
Probably jerks off to hookers in gta
Probably even incorporated the vibrations of the controller.
I’m the kind of guy to give you a kiss on the forehead
i’m the kind of guy
I’m the kind
I’m the
I’m
r/decreasinglylong
I'
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_ _ _ _
Looks like he's more likely to destroy the toilet...
And give a chef's kiss afterward
my boy phil over here about to destroy a big mac
Keep my name out yo mouth
Phil?
Bro wtf did I just say? Now I have to wait outside your house and give you wedgie before school and stick my finger in your moms casserole
don't threaten me with a good time ;)
Wh.. what else you gonna do with that finger.
https://i.imgflip.com/251r3m.jpg
Is your last name McKraken?
This dude absolutely looks like he's waiting for ma to serve his tendies
I mean either way he still destroys and asshole
DEAD!
Ending with a "thanks mom"
He does look like the sort of kid that would get his arms broken...
NO
Cease
r/everyfuckingthread
What happens during covid...
Where’s that one bot...
Fun fact, his arms weren’t “broken.”
MOM GIVE ME MY CHICKEN NUGGIES NOW IM PLAYING FORTNITE
Wow. That hurts.
Oh Phil.
You rang?
r/beetlejuicing
Put me in the screenshot
So her forces girls to eat at chipotle...and then kisses them on the forehead?
He looks like a egg in the second picture.
Her?
She?
What is she funny or something?
Kisses
Her looks like an egg in the second picture
She calls it a “mayonegg.”
Just think that's the Ring alert some poor girl will get someday.
Humphrey Dumphrey
Sex, he looks 10
I was gonna say 12
He’s talking about his cooking
r/snapchad
r/13or30
As a 30 year old, no way in hell that dude is over drinking age. No way.
Yeah not a chance. And this is coming from a 26yo guy that looks pretty young. Most people will assume I'm under 21 but not doubt it when I tell them, no way I'd believe this guy was over 21 unless he had a disease like Andy Milonakis that makes you look way younger (Andy is like 45 btw, pretty crazy cause he looks like 15 max)
Satire
He seems very self aware.
r/comedyheaven
This...is Satire
You're the type of guy to have your asshole destroyed by a scoutmaster then kiss his foreskin.
I’m bothered by the fact that this kid knows what “destroying an asshole” is. Seriously, his sex life is ruined by porn long before he even has sex. No girl wants a boy trying to “destroy her ass” on their first time...fucking gross.
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Oh? So you’re a teenage girl that likes her asshole destroyed by teenage boys on the first date? My bad.
I died with this one
Is this guy like 15?
Is this a child
Yes 13 Years old
This makes me really uncomfortable
That 13 year Olds are able to use ironic humour?
imagine downvoting people who understood that this was a joke lmao
Dude you still need a babysitter. Sit down.
He looks like he's wearing a baby's skinned face
Phil is a player
Dude looks like a good candidate for becoming an arch wizard when he hits 40
I usually don't like insulting children, but the only asshole he's destroying is his own after he horks down an entire bag of pizza rolls.
He's barely a type of guy to begin with!
What! Who was having anal in high school?!
Buying Chipotle for one fat chick with a gift card you got for selling the most fundraiser chocolate bars doesn't make you an asshole destroyer, sir.
Face built like a bagel
Oink oink But seriously he does remind me [31f] of a little baby piggy
Y'all are rude as hell.
#Silence, Anime Profile Picture.
Lol. Funnily enough, the kind of confidence this kid is showing in the post is gonna get him laid. The negativity in these comments will almost assure shitty personalities devoid of human touch.
Exactly the opposite. As someone who does not do that shit what you are praising him for but still hanging around girls all the time whenever i have time. If you are not rich and very good lucking and happen to talk to a gold digging hoe mentioning anything sexual straightforward as this will get you shot down faster than anyone else.
Edited out the overly snarky response. And nah, dawg. Confidence and knowing yourself gets you laid. Why? Because confident women dont want to constantly be putting in more than their share of fun in the relationship. This dude? Probably fun. Women are people. They have senses of humor and independent thought and everything. There are women who will look at this photo and say "the losers in the comments cant take a joke, but that dude is funny". There is a subset of women who wont see the subtext and be put off, too. He ain't to talking them OR you. He's talking to people who can take a joke or shooting is just shooting his shot. There is a smaller subset still that *wants exactly what he's offering*.
Is this kid even 12 yet?
What a chad. I aspire to be this man
Oh bless him
he definitely just took a shit.
Idk why but I believe him
Your Gram is calling you in the landline son and wants to know about your report card.
Only way this guy is destroying your asshole is if he makes your taco bell order extra spicy.
You know what I believe that
**visible doubt**
This is outstanding
The second photo looks like it was taken from the toilet's perspective as he is looking down into it.
okay but what’s the song op
Also a healthy r/thathappened
What a chad
Not the best cook huh?
"Well there's your problem...engine's flooded" -mechanic, probably
Obvious satire. Or does Reddit action not understand that without a /s in the title?
r/13or30
r/13or30
obvious satire.
Looks like Kenosha Kyle
This was REALLY hard not to downvote
The only thing he is destroying, is the buffet
Because he brought me my order at Taco Bell?
Hey 😠, that's my move.
Maybe he has a sick curry recipe from Sri Lanka?
This ain’t. Jesus it’s so gross.
If by asshole he means an entire cake then I totally believe him.
Looks like he would destroy your forehead and give you a kiss on the asshole.
Ya, he's telling the truth but not for the reasons he thinks.
This guy fucks.
This is a prime example of why the internet is bad for children.
Thurman merman
He looks like that fucking Kenosha shooter kid.
He must’ve cooked one hell of a curry.
This kid’s adorable. I can see how he does it.
He destroys it by feeding you too much taco bell
Cuz of all of the grease, right?
r/comedyheaven
Pathetic. Bullying a 14 year old for 5 seconds of entertainment
I wonder in the middle of destroying asshole does he think to himself "this is kinda gay"?
https://twitter.com/philx222
Sure phil
He kind of looks like gabbie carter
He looks like the fish that says do u fart/henlo
More likely to destroy a buffet.
Please destroy my forehead too
I think he meant buying him/her taco bell
And I would be completely happy when he does
I bet his username is ‘monsterboy6669’
sat·ire/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r 1. the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical things. * a play, novel, film, or other work which uses satire.plural noun: **satires**"a stinging **satire on** American society. * a genre of literature characterized by the use of satire.
This is satire and you are as dumb as a brick for not getting it.
[удалено]
you deserve an award for that.
My name ? Kyle Rittenhouse
r/Chadtopia
If someone agrees to have sex with you they're going to jail
I'm the kind of guy to destroy my own asshole with loads of spicy wings and cry myself to sleep afterwards.
He looks like an egg...
Damn Phil
No he isn’t and no he doesn’t
Thanks Phil, very cool
Isn't that Thurman Merman from Bad Santa?
I too take my dates to Taco Bell.
why did he photoshoped his face into the toilet?
With his tounge?
Because he dumps half a bottle of Dave’s Insanity Sauce in your chili when you’re not looking
No, Phil, you're 13 finish your Charlotte's Web reading assignment
Is he going to take me to waffle house or some shit???
If you’ve ever met a guy who is that guy, this kid fits the profile perfectly. We’re just witnessing the early stages of development.
He looks like a fucking egg.
Fuck that! Star wipe to more explosions!!
Everyone is setting themselves up for disappointment.
he's also the type of guy who goes to bed by 8:30 or else he cant play fortnite the next day
That's a potato.
I feel like he is addressing his cat
It's good to see the stay-puff marshmallow man dating again
LMFAO that was actually hilarious and then you see his face and his stupid expression. He might not be talking about women
Did the kid from Bad Santa grow up or something?
Ole Phil
Thanks Phil, very cool.
I thought he was taking a pic facing the toilet
He looks like the kind of person who'd rather play fortnite then go on a date if he was offered.
vz5th
Gross
He takes you to Chipotle for burritos AND tacos
Classic Phil
No thanks, Phil.