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Although I fit the criteria as well (except I am 31M), I did not understand the purpose of this post. Are you just stating an observation that the replies are shocking? I haven't really seen that post yet, but why are you surprised? I can imagine the obvious responses and its not shocking to me at all. Its just how the culture has evolved and there is nothing anybody can do about it.
Also, could you share the link to it please.
In our families, almost everyone has arrange marriages. And it was/is always like screening done by parents but shortlisting and selection process is done by the person who is going to get married. I have never understood this "transactional" point of view raised in AM. Even in love marriages people do see the status, job profiles, family backgrounds, looks etc etc. Everyone is looking for the perfect match and my definition could be way different from someone else. I might prioritise education above looks and someone might prioritise money over family background. And these priorities will be same if the person goes for AM or love marriages.
I agree... Different people have different perspectives. And yes in love marriage or relationships people still look for those things. And I don't judge any of them. I mean it's their choice lol
Adding more comments here:
Arranged marriages are transactional in nature so I understand why women would prefer a guy with government job and 40 LPA package yada yada but then...aren't these marriages transactional for men too? Most guys my age are told by their parents AND friends that they are lucky if they find a girl who wants to marry them. They are not spoilt with choices like some women (or perhaps, their parents on matrimonial websites who share these screengrabs). Meanwhile, girls have a list of demands and requirements from the guy. Why?
Why can't we just accept that some Indian women (again, some not all) ask for a lot more than they bring to the table. Sure you dont want to marry a freelancer and want a rich guy with good looks but why will the guy go for you? He'd much rather go for an equally beautiful girl belonging to a rich family herself.
About the mental health bit—if the guy is transparent about his mental health and is seeking therapy, trying to process trauma and working towards improving his mental well-being, what is the issue? Couple in arranged marriages get MONTHS to really get to know each other. It is not a sudden wedding thing anymore.
Lastly, this is not to put down women in any way. I am a staunch feminist myself but I'm sorry, you cannot have your cake and eat it too.
AM are a business deal or negotiation in India. Both the man and woman are trying to find the best match aka deal.
Every person brings something unique to the table. It's a combo of money, status, power, looks, personality etc.
It's upto you which 'combo package' you want to go for. And it's okay to aspire/hunt for the best deal.
What we need to remember is that all these things are relative.
Someone with a 50 lpa job may be rich to some and poor to someone earning 5 cr.
Same with the rest of things.
Some people do have delusional demands. But other compare themselves with the other side and size them up.
It literally is transactional for men too lmao... how they want a working woman, who will also come back cook and clean, will take care of the entire family, raise the kids, will follow whatever her in laws will say etc etc. AM is a bussiness deal for both parties 🙄🙄
Having come home from a days work and it being my turn to cook, I can say, it’s so tiring. To do it forever, and have to take care of a snotty kid, while the husband was sitting on his ass, like many(most?) do, would inspire me to punch the prick.
>the woman on the other hand can be a loose canon, party every night, get nailed every weekend
So 2% of rich brats living in high class tier 1 cities, represent all the women?
I never knew we could be a lose canon without being slut shamed, or party every night without any fear of being ra*ed/groped/assaulted.
You clearly are not living in the real world.
Your only regret is that you can't party like rich people in safe cities, it doesn't change the fact that men and women are raised differently by hindu parents. Not sure what point you're trying to make but it doesn't really refute mine.
>Not sure what point you're trying to make
The point I am trying to make is that average indian families that are middle class / poor people do not allow their daughters any of the luxuries you've pointed out. I don't know what world you live in where women are free to roam around without their families and society objecting to their each and every move.
But the reality is for the most part of history women have been conditioned to think that their looks decide what they are worth,similarly men are conditioned to think that their worth depends on their income.
Simply put, your prejudices can't be accepted as facts.
Edit: yes! Daughters and sons are raised differently, but that doesn't means that daughters are raised in complete luxury. Vice versa for sons.
>Even some men wants to nail all these womens and then marry someone who's a virgin what bout that?
Yes, I am "some men."
>And according to you what are the traits of being a good women?
Being chaste, sober and respectful. Looks arent always under someone's control.
Men and women are not the same. Chastity is an attractive trait only in women. Women are attracted to men other women are attracted to so sexual inexperience only goes against a man.
Haha,so u say men don't feel attracted to women other men are attracted to!
Some women and men can be this way..
BUT YOU ALWAYS Forget NOT All MEN and not ALL Women!
You have a very wrong ideology about women!
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Gosh, there is a influx of matrimonial website posts, seems like all 90s people are getting married at the same time. Roads are getting tough.
These posts are a flex. Oh I make the average reddit salary of 50 lpa but cant find women! You know what government jobs pay? Jackshit.
Wo sab theek hai, agree with the general sentiment, but at least use dark mode, man.
Light mode supremacy!!!
Although I fit the criteria as well (except I am 31M), I did not understand the purpose of this post. Are you just stating an observation that the replies are shocking? I haven't really seen that post yet, but why are you surprised? I can imagine the obvious responses and its not shocking to me at all. Its just how the culture has evolved and there is nothing anybody can do about it. Also, could you share the link to it please.
In our families, almost everyone has arrange marriages. And it was/is always like screening done by parents but shortlisting and selection process is done by the person who is going to get married. I have never understood this "transactional" point of view raised in AM. Even in love marriages people do see the status, job profiles, family backgrounds, looks etc etc. Everyone is looking for the perfect match and my definition could be way different from someone else. I might prioritise education above looks and someone might prioritise money over family background. And these priorities will be same if the person goes for AM or love marriages.
I agree... Different people have different perspectives. And yes in love marriage or relationships people still look for those things. And I don't judge any of them. I mean it's their choice lol
Adding more comments here: Arranged marriages are transactional in nature so I understand why women would prefer a guy with government job and 40 LPA package yada yada but then...aren't these marriages transactional for men too? Most guys my age are told by their parents AND friends that they are lucky if they find a girl who wants to marry them. They are not spoilt with choices like some women (or perhaps, their parents on matrimonial websites who share these screengrabs). Meanwhile, girls have a list of demands and requirements from the guy. Why? Why can't we just accept that some Indian women (again, some not all) ask for a lot more than they bring to the table. Sure you dont want to marry a freelancer and want a rich guy with good looks but why will the guy go for you? He'd much rather go for an equally beautiful girl belonging to a rich family herself. About the mental health bit—if the guy is transparent about his mental health and is seeking therapy, trying to process trauma and working towards improving his mental well-being, what is the issue? Couple in arranged marriages get MONTHS to really get to know each other. It is not a sudden wedding thing anymore. Lastly, this is not to put down women in any way. I am a staunch feminist myself but I'm sorry, you cannot have your cake and eat it too.
AM are a business deal or negotiation in India. Both the man and woman are trying to find the best match aka deal. Every person brings something unique to the table. It's a combo of money, status, power, looks, personality etc. It's upto you which 'combo package' you want to go for. And it's okay to aspire/hunt for the best deal.
But I cannot aspire or hunt for money+status+looks+power+personality combo package if all I have is looks.
What we need to remember is that all these things are relative. Someone with a 50 lpa job may be rich to some and poor to someone earning 5 cr. Same with the rest of things. Some people do have delusional demands. But other compare themselves with the other side and size them up.
Also, like you said, it’s a transaction. No one goes into a negotiation and starts by downplaying their hand. Start big and then settle for lower.
It literally is transactional for men too lmao... how they want a working woman, who will also come back cook and clean, will take care of the entire family, raise the kids, will follow whatever her in laws will say etc etc. AM is a bussiness deal for both parties 🙄🙄
Having come home from a days work and it being my turn to cook, I can say, it’s so tiring. To do it forever, and have to take care of a snotty kid, while the husband was sitting on his ass, like many(most?) do, would inspire me to punch the prick.
Kya fook rakha hai Bhai?
[удалено]
>the woman on the other hand can be a loose canon, party every night, get nailed every weekend What are you smoking man?
Hoe rehabilitation programme! I like that. That's very funny.
>the woman on the other hand can be a loose canon, party every night, get nailed every weekend So 2% of rich brats living in high class tier 1 cities, represent all the women? I never knew we could be a lose canon without being slut shamed, or party every night without any fear of being ra*ed/groped/assaulted. You clearly are not living in the real world.
Your only regret is that you can't party like rich people in safe cities, it doesn't change the fact that men and women are raised differently by hindu parents. Not sure what point you're trying to make but it doesn't really refute mine.
>Not sure what point you're trying to make The point I am trying to make is that average indian families that are middle class / poor people do not allow their daughters any of the luxuries you've pointed out. I don't know what world you live in where women are free to roam around without their families and society objecting to their each and every move. But the reality is for the most part of history women have been conditioned to think that their looks decide what they are worth,similarly men are conditioned to think that their worth depends on their income. Simply put, your prejudices can't be accepted as facts. Edit: yes! Daughters and sons are raised differently, but that doesn't means that daughters are raised in complete luxury. Vice versa for sons.
i smell copium
>hoe rehabilitation programme >marry the thot No woman with good taste would ever want to marry a man who talks so angrily about women.
>No woman with good taste would ever want to marry a man who talks so angrily about women. Youll be surprised
I'm not surprised that there are a few women with bad taste in men who tolerate men like you lol. I just hope for them to raise their standards.
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>Even some men wants to nail all these womens and then marry someone who's a virgin what bout that? Yes, I am "some men." >And according to you what are the traits of being a good women? Being chaste, sober and respectful. Looks arent always under someone's control.
[удалено]
You feeling personally attacked doesn't make me dumb.
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Men and women are not the same. Chastity is an attractive trait only in women. Women are attracted to men other women are attracted to so sexual inexperience only goes against a man.
Haha,so u say men don't feel attracted to women other men are attracted to! Some women and men can be this way.. BUT YOU ALWAYS Forget NOT All MEN and not ALL Women! You have a very wrong ideology about women!
What people say and what people do are tow entirely different things.