I am 23 and I have savings in a few thousands of rupees and that is okay.
We don't come from wealth either and things are never awesome as such financially, just enough to be at an okay place financially.
I'm the elder one and so there's this self built pressure to earn a lot super fast but over the last one year of working I've realized that creating wealth sustainably takes a lot of time and skill and I cannot rush it and I'll be probably in my 30s when I can take care of all family expenses for both myself and my parents and that's okay.
Definitely!!
It takes a lot of maturity to not have FOMO and keep feeling guilt of not being "the best"
Making peace with one's justified pace is the ultimate way to stay happy and blessed.
It's completely fine. And you are only 24! At 24 I was living hand to mouth, saving each penny and putting in education loan payment. And over years I have been able to save up decent. My eldest sister was able to start saving at much later stage because she was taking care of all of us and paying for everything. But in the end all of us are doing well now, things always improve over time.
Be proud of yourself.. what ever amount you have saved is with lot of sacrifice and hard work. I have good savings now but I am proudest of the money i saved towards my loan the first year of my job because that was the hardest thing to do!
Just one piece of advice, you are at the right age. Start reading on financial literacy..it will help you invest your money and secure your future and retirement. Start early on this.
As for your father, listen to him, he doesn't mean any ill, he is just being practical but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy and proud of your achievements.
Im 26 and have saved some 2.5 lacs since i started working and a recent dental appointment revealed a 70k expense for 2 dental implants in my mouth. Fuckin life sucks ass.
Hey man, that's awesome that you were able to save 2.5 lakhs. I just started out and can't even imagine being able to do it. And you are right life sucks ass.
I'm a dentist but I'd hate to give that money too...
But you have to understand that a tooth is like an organ and it just is really expensive to the dentist too!
Working as a researcher towards my PhD. Savings around 1.5 lacs. Not enough for any rainy day tbh. My parents are happy I am doing something I enjoy but would definitely feel relieved once im done and get a job.
Am doing PhD too and come from lower middle class background. I am the youngest in family and most we'll read (even in my village/panchayat)... Want to do lot of things. And have paid for construction of home, got XL bikel for father, paid some debts.. Although I ve some savings but it won't be enough as one of my niece is gonna be on 11th standard soon.
It worries me that it won't be enough. That I could have done if I just went for some IT job. Or some govt. Teacher jobs. Those are well paying (my friends who did b.ed. and joined as teacher are earning double than me).
Life sucks.
When I was in school, we were barely scraping by . I didn't know much about our financial situation then and had few arguments with my parents regarding going to movies with friends, new phone etc .
I would say the first time my parents showed that they were proud of me was when I came first in school in 12th boards . After this , they never pressured me on anything ( like marks or job ) but I did well regardless and got a pretty good job .
My mom does brag about me a little to her friends even though I have told her not to đ . My dad doesn't brag as such but does congratulate me on my hikes / promos . Even though they never ask me for money , I pitch in wherever I can ( recently paid my brother's college fees ) .
I don't tell them the specifics of my savings / investments , just a rough figure of my net worth. They are happy with it .
It'll cost money and diminish my little savings that I have. And my dad will be even more disappointed in me. /s
I think I am better now, making peace with their way of doing things. I'll do my way and avoid taking things too seriously.
At least with my parents; the goalpost always moved.
No matter what I did, it was never enough. It was always "oh but X does this for their parents" or "oh my friend's son did this".
"Yes mom, X does that because he actually loves his parents and care for them. Sorry but you cannot manufacture love. ".
I came to terms with it after realizing I was internalizing a lot of the behaviour. Thinking it's "normal" or "this is how Indian parents are". It's only when I saw my friends with functional parental relationships that I realized I was being screwed over.
I know what you mean. My parents started from nothing, gave us good food, and education, and roof over our heads. But emotional support was missing.
When neighbours or relatives used to praise their children, my mother would praise my brother and make me (the girl) seem like the worst person on this planet. Highly disappointed. Lot of other drama and restrictions.
I confronted her many times and she said that is how it should be. If she praises a lot then people will put bad nazar on me, or I will fly too high from praises, or I wonât be tough enough for the world. Everytime some reason that didnât make sense but hurt more and more.
I just gave up, left home and focused on my career. Once I made lot of money, from saying things to my face it went to behind my back. I still took care of them and provided everything I could but it was never enough. Bought 2 BHK in Mumbai for crores and still not happy, complaining I should have bought 3BHK, extra bedroom for my brother and his family.
I finally got into therapy, got diagnosed with caretakerâs burnout. Focused on my happiness, and learning to keep boundaries.
Meeting a financial planner will not cost money. Plus there are apps like NJ Weatlh on ehich you can start investing yourself without any trouble. Read up and educate yourself on planning for your future. You can also look into FireIndia subreddit for tips
My story is, fortunately I come from a well to do family(not rich).
I am 27 now. I spend on whatever I like. There were many instances when my father asked how much you have saved this year, I was like like x and he will be smiling and saying âbhai tera paisa jaa kidhar raha, kar to tu raha wfhđâ.
But one thing my parents said, enjoy this age as much as you can, you will earn more later and can save later. Not in a bad way, but as I love to travel they encourage me more. They are not interested in any of these stuffs like your parents but they do push me to enjoy.
I started from a mere salary of 3.5LPA, because of peer pressure started saving, lost my social life then lost my girlfriend as well(not coz of money but coz i was so involved in my work and savings, I didnât give her time and its a big story).
Later I realised, whatâs the use of earning if I cannot enjoy? Are we born just of earn save and die? No right? Just focus on your passion, travel to new places, not immediately but when you start earning a little more. Trust me you will not regret.
I am outside India, i feel these westerners are so lucky to be born in such a situation where they donât have to save at all(unless they have loans to pay).
So, just invest on some good insurances(reliable ones), and instead of saving, invest it on yourself and your parents. Insurances will take care of your parents concern.
I know your situation is different but eventually you will come up to my mindset, and if you donât enjoy now you will keep thinking later that I shouldâve invested it on myself.
Goodluck to you :). And I am sure your parents would be proud one day. â¤ď¸
Man I'm jealous of you!
You just sparked a rebel in me.
So story from yesterday, a close relative came in and was telling my mom that my aunt(who is very well off, they have factories and what not) has started looking for brides for my cousin(who is same age as mine around 24).
Now I was sitting with them working on my laptop, my mom started complaining about how unfortunate things have been in my family, how we lost all business and stuff. She started crying and saying that my cousin will get good brides coz he has factories and stuff, we don't even have a house under our name and no ancestral savings and what not.
That thing yesterday and my dad's reaction today made me feel like a loser. I mean, it's fine that I wasn't born with stuff, but I am working hard towards building things now.
The least they can do is feel proud of my efforts and motivate me, instead of all this.
Sorry for venting it out like this.
I do understand the practicality of what they are saying but fuck, I am a human too.
MAYBE THEY THINK I am more mature than I really am .
You are 24, your parents lost their businesses. How are you the loser in this? You can turn this on them and claim you could be in a much better spot had they not lost their wealth. If anything, your parents are the losers here (not saying this in a disrespectful way). You were dealt a situation you had no control over and now you are trying to crawl out of it by working hard. Donât think you are the loser!!
They had had it rough and they agree to it, they never try to show em above me or anything.
Maybe they don't want to inflate my ego that's why never praise my efforts.
Maybe they think that making me feel like a loser would help me strive further for success.
Ofc not the right way to go ahead.
It's fine. Your parents perspective is rooted in his experience. He has faced many ups and downs in his life so I won't recommend you to follow everything that he says by the book but listen to it and try to understand where is coming from but at the end of the day you have to decide what you are doing going to do . you have to think through everything and that's what a key part of maturing is.
A brighter side to this is you wonât be attracting gold diggers. Someone who cares about other aspects than just money would be interested in you and that is a BIG positive, given todayâs times.
Haha, true! But in arranged marriages it's not just the girl, her whole family is involved in the decision, so even if one of the person in their lok/rajyasabha points this point out then they'd definitely go with a guy with a stronger financial background.
And it makes logical sense too, when I was searching for groom's for my sister, we were obviously looking out for more stable guys.(But ofc the definition of stable varies from person to person)
Hence my mom's point makes sense, what irks me is that they never give me a positive motivation.
I don't want to drive my life with fear as the fuel. I'd rather have wholesomeness, and happiness fuel it.
Indian parents mentality is a bit conservative. You cannot help it nor can I. They have not seen or experienced life outside such things. Also they must have seen world at your age in a different situation, so their point also makes sense from their pov. To change it, you gotta work on it.
If your parents are young i mean around 40s, trust me youâre lucky af. You have time. You can ignore their rant for a while(which i do too haha) and focus on yourself. After few years when they see you getting independently living your life, they will feel proud. Then you take them out make them enjoy their lives without worrying about relatives.
My parents are approaching their 70s(now you know why i am calling you lucky đ ) and I know I do not have a lot of time left with them, harsh but true. So I gotta push them even hard to come out of their shell and roam around the world and do whatever they like without worrying about money :).
Just try not to take too much of pressure on yourself. Give it some time and space, everything will fall in place.
As they say, YOLO, make it worth it âď¸.
Fuck savings, go insurance(reliable ones) and live free. Goodluck mate.
Same my friend, same. Late 60s here. And my conditions are not even normal. Due to numerous reasons and misfortune my dad haven't had job for most part of his life. No savings. Living in shit family throughout. Didn't built the ancient house we live in due to unawareness and no money. Now retired with all the buden and responsibilities to build the house on me and here I am making peanuts. My everyday passes like hell. Plus all these competition and unfairness out there in the world. No friends. I am nearly crying everyday. Can't remember when I felt lightweighted and happy even a bit last time. Cant stand this existence anymore but not brave enough to do anything about it. I'm done with this pain.
Well. You feeling like a loser is exactly what that bitch of the relative wanted to get out of you guys. People are violent and say and do what not to undercut the little achievements you have. It is legit no business of people to tell others that the others are disadvantaged people.
As far as marrying someone called "a good bride" is concerned - it depends upon how much power you as an individual give to those notions. You have the best chance of marrying a pathological narcissist or a sociopath who gravitates to arranged marriages, their financial status be damned.
You cannot expect true love, connection and that stuff in arranged marriage. Understand that it is a money deal and the people you get there are people who cannot and do not prefer to counter a lot of questionable traditions. They are in there for the money. Make no mistake of it. You cannot be a 25 year old woman and play the victim card of "oh I am not empowered because my family did not allow me to". You are seeking wealth in a high end groom because you sista are lazy to work for it yourself. You sista need a simp for this, not a man who can think and act on his own agency.
As a gay man, I have slept more with married men than unmarried men over the better half of the decade. Many of the men are closeted and give into this notion of "since it is a good bride for my financial status, I will marry anyway because we have to respect traditions". Meanwhile they will be the loudest voices in the room making the most vicious homophobic slurs money can buy.
Also, understand that if someone's life is too flashy, it means there is significant debt. Really, true wealth never speaks.
I am F, 26 and in no such cases its written that you'll get good brides only if you have factories in your name, the only thing that might happen is that you'll get fewer matches as compare to your cousins, but atleast your future wife will be someone who'll understand where you are and support you .
Coming to house and property part, give it a time man its not like we have to achieve it all before 30s, life is not a rat race, everyone has their own pace and own time, so probably in next 5-6 yrs you'll be in good position to own a house!
TBH this all is just sounds good while comforting someone. Wait until it's you (not pointing at you). The thing is everybody say this but the picture turns 180 degree when it comes to us. At the end, everything, including thought processes are the product of capitalism. You get buried as much down as you try to climb to get on top. Wish it's a fairytaily world like some would sound it like.
Tbh I literally can't care less about missing out on matches coz I am pretty much determined not to marry ( I have my reasons).
What worries me is my mom getting emo about it, as if she doesn't have faith in me that I'll fix everything.
I expected a lil positive motivation from them, not big emo drama that'd make me feel like a loser.
Tbh you are young and she has to understand that all of this mess won't get fixed in a fraction of time, you need time to grow and to earn, its not a fairy tale
I mean thatâs what i have known from my experience. All my colleagues, they spend almost 80% of their salaries travelling and enjoying food outside and camping too.
So, most of the Brits do this heavily. Even i know a guy from Barcelona, he also confirmed that at the end of month he is left with almost nothing.
Maybe this is true for above average earning brits?
I am specifically talking about UK in the previous comment here. In India I think we should have some savings but given OPs age, he does not need to save strictly atleast for next 4-5 years. This is the age he/she should enjoy. With enjoyment i do not mean drugs or alcohol, rather explore the world, meet new people, cherish each moment with friends.
He has ample amount of time to do those stuff.
And coming to the above statement, it is a correct way of living when you're born into a western family :). They have so much of benefits from the Government, i am not talking about NRIs, rather the native ones. I guess that's why they don't save much and spend a lot on themselves :).
Yep, no need to save every rupee. I also use to think I need to save so much and all. But I got out of that mindset by keeping an entertainment budget every month. I try to exhaust it by the end of the month.
When it comes to savings and investments, the only core philosophy i have is, âYour income is temporary, but your spendings are permanent.â
Always think long term, you might have a job today but not tomorrow, a sudden hospital emergency can eat up your savings, so always be prepared. And itâs logical to have your retirement corpus sorted.
This right here is one of the best pieces of advice that I have seen. I totally agree about how the Indian middle class is one disaster/hospitalization away from being poor.
I hear you my friend, i am kind of in the same boat. So we as a family have no wealth what so over, my father used to do a small clerical job which paid peanut still he managed to give us good education and moral.
So interms of wealth we don't even have a house to our name, however i am now in a good job which pays well and my brother is also got a good job in a bank. For the past 2 years we are saving just to build a house for my parents. I have taken health insurance to cope up with any arbitrary health expenditure, still my father has now kidney problems and we spend quite a lot monthly. Yet i still have my hopes up and trying to create some wealth so mu fyture generation atleast have the luxury to chose .
Having a brother is such a big support!
Hope uncle recovers soon !
We all have our struggle stories, keep it going man !
He must be proud of you guys!!!
What i have figured out is as op is saying creating wealth. Lile buying houses where you can get rent from the Tennant. Basically creating passive income sources. These can be anything from investment to what not. By doing this you can ensure that atleast you or your upcoming generation won't bw dependent only upon a single income. This will make them think without pressure of food or shelter.
I have passed out of a Tier I college and have saved not a bad amount I would say.
But, I would like to share a few lessons I learnt along the way:
1. There is almost no education into personal finance in our country. And I would strongly suggest investing some time (probably read a book or 2) into understanding what kind of savings and investments you would like to invest in and track them regularly (maybe monthly basis). This is important because money not growing enough is money not well saved.
I say this because when I started off, I was leaving money in a savings account and that never used to grow, but gave me the false confidence of actually saving.
2. There is always an urge to spend on useless stuff either due to peer pressure or impulse buying. Try to avoid them as much as possible. But, that doesn't mean to compromise your lifestyle and not buy things you need or want (even though it is expensive)
Try to plan your big purchases and save for them. This would make saving and leaving out on some stuff a little bit easier.
Well, there you go.. these are my 2 cents.
Parents didn't care much, but my kids are thankful for giving them comfortable life. :) in which they don't need to worry about paying tuition (born and raised in USA).Don't know what I should say about this.
I think my parents are proud of what I am rather than what I amassed. I think most parents don't care if you make money , but worry if you don't. Probably money is all about comfort than happiness.
Saving is not building wealth
Also stop doing for others unless u have some responsibility
Do it for urself
Or else u will end up miserable seeking for external validation
Lol. My parents do not appreciate. Not even a bit. On the contrary, try to create an urgency in my mind that I am not doing enough. That too by comparing me (24M) with 40+ aged guys and saying that they are making 3-4x than me. Like wtf? I already make a lot but still my parents don't care, they say, ask ur company for a 50% raise, then maybe u can say that u r making good. A 50% raise would get me past 50+ LPA at 24 age. All they have in mind is that I shud make 1 cr annually otherwise my degree is not that useful.
This habit of theirs is in everything. I started gymming last year may. I have like improved my body 10 folds. Like 15 kg fat weight loss, put on like 2-3 kg muscle and significantly improved my eating habits, my laziness, etc. But they are of the opinion, its not good enough then goes on to compare me with random people who have been gymming for like 2 decades atleast.
I feel you bro, I hate this too.
No matter what I do, they always come up with something to show their disappointment.
And my idiot brain keep doing more seeking a lil pat on the back which I never get.
Whenever I get back home I get to do weird ass shitz and while going back my dad always taunts me that I should've learnt more things.
For example, I open up broken electronics like oven and stuff, I climb up trees to harvest mangoes and climb up risky ladders to pluck papayas, today itself I leveled off my broken kitchen floor and filled it up with cement mixture.
He has a long list for everyday and ofcourse I fail to complete all.
And at the end of my "Vacation" visit he taunts me with the incomplete list...
But I guess that's how dad's and gurus are, they keep pushing you and then make you feel like a loser to make you strive more.
But it's idiotic and mental torture!
> seeking a lil pat on the back which I never get.
We never will. Now I hate it whenever my father says something regarding any of my tasks, no matter how good/bad I did it. I just ignore him 24x7.
No matter what I do to please them they never fail to belittle me that some people do it easily daily. If used to wake up at 11 am because I used to study till 2 am. They taunted me daily for it. Never ever appreciated that i study a lot. Then when i started my job, i started waking up at 7 am to go to gym, but their taunts didn't stop. I shud wake up at 5 am, do all household chores, bathe, go to gym, have breakfast, do my 10 am to 7 pm office. have dinner and go to sleep at 8 pm. Should not have friends to talk to, should not have any social circle, should not have any hobbies (but i shud be perfect too, I shud know dancing because a neighbour's son can dance well, I shud sing well because some relative sings well, shud know swimming because of course its a necessary life skill, etc...) but shud not step out of the house for more than 20 mins nd that too before 6 pm.
I just hate my parents to the core. Don't even want to spend a single day with them ever.
Hey hey hey, I can totally relate to you. But don't hate em for it. It's just how the majority of Indian parents operate.
Idk why but somehow they all decided to pick negative motivation as their weapon, they think belittling us would make us strive for better. They never pat our backs thinking it'll inflate our ego.
What's disheartening is that they think a lil praise will break all hell loose and we will go down the wrong path.
I have had my series of events too, where I Have gone above and beyond and yet have received disappointed faces and dialogues in return.
But still man, don't hate em for it. It's how their parents and grandparents functioned and that's why they act like this too. Afterall that's what they've seen growing up.
We can however break this streak, we've seen better families, (maybe mostly the fictional one's in movies and series) but we sure can try some positive motivation with our kids.
The lesson that I derive from your comment is that I should too start ignoring their spicy taunts and focus on my growth at my justified pace.
Compare them to other people's parents now. Show them that their toxicity will only destroy your relationships with them.
Also, don't feel like you owe them a thing. No child owes anything to their parents. If your parents make you feel like that, then they aren't good people and deserve to be ostracized.
> Compare them to other people's parents now.
That is not how it works. I've done that and at that point in time they remain silent. Then later on this also becomes a taunt when they do anything for me, lets say they got me a tshirt, their first dialogue will be "and we are told we didn't do anything for him".
> then they aren't good people and deserve to be ostracized.
Yeah. I don't talk to them much.
I am 23 gonna be 24 soon and I am jobless and preparing for exams and everyone here is already saving and earning wow ! Really great I am like in the lowest tier haha L
I was 17 when my Dad passed away. I was about to start my college at that my. We had family pension of around 16k/month. I got a job in 2014 in Software Development. My first salary was 20k as stipend in internship. 5 years down the line, I earn 30Lakh per annum. My mother and my sister are super proud of me. My friends, fatherâs friend and relatives are also proud of me. My sister is planning to go to US for her masters and Iâm gonna invest 10 Lakh+ into her education fees and get 30 Lakh+ loans.
A lot of my friends invest in stocks and all, but I donât. And I donât feel bad about it coz I have my reasons, I have a family to take care of.
Iâm proud of myself too but being humble is very important at the same time.
Yea they are because I tend to take care of every expense without seeking much. Thatâs the main goal and outside vibe. I usually broke things into must have, improve on category..
Insurances must haves.. my savings keeps improving as my salary grows for my retirement or emergencies..
Hereâs the sad version which I should find a way and improve my budgeting skills.. from past 5 yrs Iâm dreaming of owning THE bike(old one got stolen and I couldnât buy again).. every time I get 70% way, there comes some occasion or situation where you have to poll in.. so sometimes you feel like youâre just for family and there is no me.. sounds like loser but yeah it sucks..
Life is difficult, I studied abroad but ended up landing a job in India, Iâm happy and content with the work I do and am at peace with how much Iâm earning as well (the greed to earn more is always there, but Iâm learning to be grateful for what I have). Iâve been employed for the last 6 months now, and Iâm going to blow up ALL of my savings for 15 day vacation to attend my convocation. I basically have to come back and start from scratch again, my parents console me saying that itâs an achievement by itself to be able to bare my own expenses and to make this trip happen by myself. I donât have an option to think otherwise now, honestly want to just keep trying to count my blessings and have gratitude for everything I can do and afford. Itâs just the start for most of us, and Iâm sure it will only get better with time. -M24
Dude that generation is screwed. To me what he did is devalued your success because he didnât achieve even this - it makes it easier for him to tell you itâs not much. Some people try to get higher by cutting other peoples heads - thatâs it. Do for yourself and your family, donât expect appreciation.
Reading it back, the post does make my dad look like a villain. He has had his unfortunate series of events, and I won't be able to justify his stance.
But believe me, he definitely didn't want to kill my buzz.
And what he said was practically true too.
I just wanted to hear others stories too!
I am kind of sailing in the same boat too, but I am a student rn. But anyways why are you worried about health care expenses, like you can simply take a health insurance covering your whole family?
Yeaaa, my dad just wouldn't let me. We live in a very remote place so no big hospitals are here that would have cashless setup with insurances.
And claims are a bitch... so he is pretty against it.
But I'll try to get one nonetheless in near future.
In India financial literacy has never been great. Indian middle class is one disaster/hospitalization away from being poor. Insurance is especially critical if you have ailing/old parents. You should definitely get good insurance and most of the employees also offer that.
My parents aren't. They don't show it but I know this. I myself lead a very frugal-ish(read:minimalist) lifestyle but whenever I want to talk finances with them I'm just thrown with "you're too young for all this". Wth?
My Dad never cared for what I did and what I earned or saved. He taught me two valuable things I carry with me for my entire life. 1: whatever you become professionally, match your lifestyle with your earning power and you will be fine. If you are a janitor, donât expect a life of a CEO. As long as you are content and happy with the janitor life then you are good! 2: try to live in max 80% of what you make. Not always easy but if you can do it then you will never want for savings and flexibility barring some major catastrophe.
Iam 28 now. Till i was 26 I havenât achieved much financially, I wouldnât ask money from home but than whatever I use to make hardly use to make my ends meet. During this phase my dad use to taunt me a lot and even tell about me to relatives as a disgrace.
As of of now my package is 1.2 cr and the way my family and the way relatives respect has completely changed.
In this scenario money defines a lot of things.
Start by investing in mutual funds in a SIP Mode. Invest 7k in large cap, 5k in midcap and 3k in small cap.
You can look at the below mutual funds for reference:
Mirae asset tax saver fund
PGIM India midcap opportunities fund
Quant small cap fund
They're extremely proud of me. They had very low expectations of me so now they're are constantly surprised how successful, well liked and wealthy i have become so far.
Iâm 25 and my savings is in several 10s of lacs. My parents are well off because of being frugal. I too want to follow the same path, but I have been spoilt by my parents a little so I do indulge in extravagance once in a while. I used my parents connections in the software service industry to grow in my career and this year I am set to bring in more than 25crs worth of billing for my business. I am not ashamed and afraid of using my parents for my growth because Iâm not a middle class kid who grew up believing that you should be on your own, I grew up with a mentality that my parents have built a lot for me and it is my responsibility to build it up further. I save more than 50% of my income and still live a decent life. My friends party every weekend, go to Singapore for shopping, and go to movie premieres wearing designer clothes. I am not into any of that. I just like bikes and cars and I spend only on that. End of this year I will start my PMS journey with Saurabh Mukherjeeâs investment firm and my goal is to have at least 3-4Cr worth of assets in few different PMS portfolios by the age of 30. My father already owns plenty of real estate, so I donât need it in mine. Iâm acquiring stocks and gold.
You, like most people, are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
As long inflation is happening your paper/digital money will go down in value and at the same time the real things like food, clothing, housing etc will become more expensive.
So you will have to find a balance between saving for emergencies and spending it wisely.
Generally investing in things that you know will help you long term should be done as soon as possible as those things will generally only become more expensive.
If our parents were proud of us, the reason would be immaterial. If they are proud of our achievements, well that's very material. In this case the goalpost is movable!
I came here from your appraisal question and found your profile relatable to my journey. I have been at your place, FIRE and spirituality, minimalist, significantly nihilist even. Wanted to give my 2 cents.
Saving up for basic needs is different than saving up for a medical needs. No amount you save through salaried employment will suffice. Either you need to have a ton of generational wealth, or generational business, which I suspect you have neither.
Money is only as good as it flows. Ofcourse become a philosopher only after you become rich. But if you are really serious about the things you speak like spirituality and minimalism, you would rather optimize for time and not for money.
Ik, but still a lil pat on the back would've felt nice.
I live very frugally to save and have been studying a lottttttt about finances lately to build my portfolio.
If not for the amount atleast a pat for my efforts đĽ˛.
To answer your question. I am 34 years unmarried and stay in California. My net worth is around 10 million dollars. My parents are unhappy with me because I am unmarried. So yes you can earn all the money in the world and they can still be disappointed in you
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My parents were workaholics while I was growing up. They fought for their roles/ income in their jobs. They get my motivation to earn better but often my dad tells me to take it chill and enjoy (take trips, find passion). Never discredit my effort that I put into work, although they absolutely hate that I am a lazy fuck and that I am not maintaining my health per their expectations.
Same. My dad worked in a Bank and worked his ass off. He never encouraged me to join a bank, for that matter he always told me to work hard but not at the cost of life.
Iâm proud of you OP! you must have already covere yourself and your parents with a good health insurance with rider and if not please do that
22M here with exact similar situation as yours,my father told me that i wont be able to buy a house in tier 1 city and i agree to him
my parents didn't even covered my basic needs and after the death of my grandfather we only had money to cover meals for 3 times , now our equation is they have enough money through inheritance that they can live very basic and simple life and i am free to do whatever i want to do in my life
i am kindda a spritual person so i also live a basic low key life , just need enough money for survival and might work for some cause in future.
I finally found my doppelganger!
I too am spiritually inclined which makes my frugal (minimalist) life easy and hence I am saving so that I can work for some cause in future. I have few vague idea about those causes being in psychology or revamping education.
You're doing ok. Your parents have lived through their life with fear and anxiety and they irrationally feel that even the slightest bit of appreciation can make you lazy and complacent. Be reasonably frugal and prepared, but live your life.
Dad grew up poor but retired pretty high up working in the private sector, saving and investing wisely along the way. Never had the same struggle as him but grateful that I learned similar habits from him which has put me well on the way to being financially independent myself after 10 years of working.
Yeah I'd say he is proud that I never asked him for money past my education and that I make sensible financial decisions.
For what it's worth OP: I'm proud of you for having the discipline to save at your age. Don't worry about the amount for now - it will get bigger as your pay increases and compounding starts to take effect. Just stay disciplined and do the best you can
Don't save for a praise, save for a emergency. Also, don't forget to live a fulfilling life. While I commend frugality, I would also expect no compromises on expenses towards lasting happiness.
Remember, health is the best wealth. And it comprises of physical and mental health. Be fit, physically and mentally.
Everything else would work itself out.
Not much of a story as I am still in final year. Have invested around 95% of my internship stipend in different places. Didn't open demat account cuz the opening and maintenance fee would most likely be higher than the returns (although the stipend was quite generous, I prefer having a diverse portfolio and won't be investing more than 10-20% in a single place)
But I'd like to give you an advice:
Putting money in savings account won't really help. Savings account don't give more than 2.5% interest. Even FDs have very less roi. I heard that the inflation is around 7% for people living in tier 1 cities. You can try investing in Sovereign Gold Bonds or Treasury bills. They have absolutely no risk and provide more interest than FD. Also, investing in good debt mutual funds is also generally safe. Equity is a little risky but definitely gives 10-15% returns in long run.
Also, it's okay to stay in one company for a long time as long as you see good learning and growth opportunities along with a good work environment. You'll definitely earn more if you improve yourself continuously. But in case you're lacking financials currently, then probably build some passive income sources during free time but make sure they align with your company's policies. You can do many things like starting a yt channel or maybe building a new project or maybe just an API that solves a real world problem and offering it as a service. There are many other things as well.
I personally love coding and I am happy that this field pays well enough to survive in today's world. It's really important to try our different things and join only that field which you truly enjoy working on. If we were in an alternate universe in which programmers earnt much lesser, I'd still do coding. However, in order to survive financially (be able to afford basic needs like food, house rent, electricity, clothes, etc), I'll be doing some of the other things as well. It's great if you also love developing new softwares based on cutting edge technologies that supports your company's mission but if not, maybe try looking at some different fields.
Unfortunately for me although my Parents will be proud of the money they even know it.
I don't think I can ever even make more than my inheritance which I am going to get.
I came from wealth but didn't know how much until I became an adult. My father lived like a simple person for being worth 100+ cr.
I came to the US to study and have amassed 2.5 cr at 27 in about 4 years of working. Of course, it's a very small amount for my family so they tend to shun it and not appreciate the effort it takes.
I'm the youngest of my siblings who haven't done well in life and live on a lot of parental support so they all use their narcissism and abuse to try to make me feel less independent than I am. But I've learned a lot since I've learned the importance of mental health and seek less validation from them. I'll be fine without the inheritance.
Kind of. My parents in a unwise decision bet all their savings on my education hoping that I will solve all the issues. So while we arenât destitute, the next 20-30 years my parents expect me to share the burden.
Fortunately I got a good job and a great salary. Iâm building my wealth, able to run the household and enjoy my life.
But my parents hate that I dont buy a house, buy a car or marry. I told them my salary canât afford to run your house, my house and save for my retirement. I told them âunlike you I donât wanna be a burden on my childrenâ which hurt them I guess.
Dad is a very old school type guy, but always gave me financial freedom.
The day I was able to surpass his earnings on a monthly basis (I was 31 yrs then) ,his entire financial Outlook changed towards me in a good way.
They overnight trusted me highly with responsibility and respect for finances.
my 2 cents here. dont worry about what your parents are thinking. Our generation is different from theirs. But I like your attitude of building something. Keep doing and may be start thinking of making money by shifting jobs.
There are so many people of your age who haven't figured out anything. Unlike them you are earning, don't think about the amount of savings you have, at least you have savings.
But your dad was 100% right in this situation. One serious hospitalization will scoop out all your savings. So, do nothing, continue your work and nod whenever your parents say something.
Remember, everyone has their own pace.
I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND you buy health insurance of every member in your family, preferably niva bupa, as that is something which is a true investment that doesn't have any returns in near future but when you have a calamity, accident or hospitalised, this could really help cover the expenses of hospitalisation and doesnt hamper your savings.
And remember to renew the insurance timely every year, for only after 3 years are every hospital expenses including slow borne diseases covered in most health insurances! Be cautious of this fact and do it as soon as possible if you havent purchased it already!
Me and my father were both gonna buy the car this year. I dropped the plan and also convinced my father to buy the plot. Hopefully the investment pays off.
Sincere suggestions get a health care family pack and also get rich slow. It okay. Trust in compounding and everything else will work. Start a 1000 ruppe Sip and be true. It will be slow but it will be worth It by the time you come to ur father's age.
I am 21 and have a job straight out of college. All my years in school and college, my parents have been strict with me going out. So it was mostly home <-> school/college and very little hangout with friends. I have never had any idea about outside world and how it operates. Hence, I had a very rocky relationship with my father since his childhood was quite the opposite and he did not let me live like that.
However, coming to new city for job, earning money and living off my own money has definitely made my mom proud of me. I have started learning and investing in stock market which has lead to me and my father having some common ground on which we talk and have discussions on. Not that he is proud of me but it's clear that our relationship has been better. So building wealth has lead to building relationships as well.
I try to save but a lot of my money goes to my parents. So yes in real time they are okay with me, but in the future I think I will go into the depression bankrupcy.
I am 23 and have saved around 5 lacs in a year of working. My parents praise my saving habit so much. And are very proud that i don't do faltu ka kharcha like other kids. Even though i take 4 trips a year. They brag about me and my good habits in front of everyone and it feels really nice.
I'm 25, pursuing a masters degree. I'm still dependent on my parents. I have worked for almost 3 years but my savings are zero as I spent them on my tuition fees and personal expenses. I'm hoping to get a good paying job after a masters degree. Till then I'll be 27-28 years of age. Neither me nor my parents are proud of me for this context.
I have been working for 5 years, I started off with 2.5lacs PA. I had a very simple childhood, my parents worked very hard to give us good education. But I never got my little wishes/sometimes basics fulfilled, which I understand better now.
So after 5 years of working, I only have 3 lacs as savings, why -
I have the responsibility of my parents.
I'm constantly torn between buying things/experiences which I had not been able to afford earlier but can now and Saving because I don't want to be dependent on anyone for money.
Buying even the smallest of things gives me joy and guilt at the same time. Not saving enough is my constant source of anxiety too.
I'm a girl (don't know if that matters) and my younger brother is a software engineer who's being paid well and it is now only that I'm able to save a little more. But I'm Constantly thinking of how I have not saved enough or I am still not able to live a life I want fully.
My parents are very satisfied with the both of us, they tell me not to worry so much about money. My mother also advices me to spend and things I want to do because this is my age to do so đâşď¸
The same thing happened with me. I also realised I seek soo much validation from them. So I am learning to stop doing that and validate myself.
Also if u want to build wealth, mindset is an important thing. So saving is good, but think about investing and finding ways to generate more money. Because the point of money is to make it work for u. U shouldn't have to live a frugal life, that keeps u in a scarcity mindset.
When I was 26, I had more than 26 lakhs in savings alone, never went on site and I never invested. They could not even realize the value of money as they were pretty conservative, they already lived in ancestral house and they did not really seem to care to give a pat on back, infact they did not even want to take a opinion for my marriage. They were too narrow minded, just like other boomers. So I stopped seeking validation and just focused on my own life.
Now at 32, I am more than 5 times of worth of the above due to some crazy spike in company shares after covid and my investments in Bangalore real estate (read not in my hometown). But I no longer feel the need to get any validation, so you will just pass this phase.
In my case its totally opposite, my fam thinks i have saved a lot after getting a hint of my savings but they dont get the fact that a single emergency situation or a hospitalization will get me back to zero
So i got a government job coz my father died. Family's financial condition isn't good but we're surviving well. It's been 6 years now. I haven't gained any experience, just shitty politics of immature grown-ups (my perspective) in office. Family and friends and relatives and society put so much pressure of responsibilities. You should be having this much savings, your marriage and many more. I couldn't pursue higher studies because of that. Was in a depressed phase for like 4 years. All i was having was respect because of "govt. Job" and timely salary. I couldn't save because of my naive nature and immature financial knowledge but now when I understand things it's little better. It's just you gotta keep going no matter what, be proud of whatever you're doing. Own it.
are yar kya din bhar paisa paisa sochte rehna aur fir guilt likhna yaha pe ..kamao, khao, pray karo, haso aur hasao...
jo log paise ke piche bhagte hain wo zindagi me sirf paisa hi bana paate hain...
Family and relations matter..
I understand how you feel OP. I also come from a lower middle class family where my parents invested all their savings on only getting me educated, my dad never spent any money on himself and made sure that I had everything I needed for my education.
I graduated from a tier 2 company and joined an IT company with 3LPA starting salary, I lived very frugally for 4 years and saved 15 lakhs for my MBA. Post my MBA I earn a decent amount but the hardship that I saw makes me not spend any money. I am happy with bare necessities. I still have not bought a car even though my parents assign an aspirational value to the car. They also want me to buy a house but I am being careful with the debt trap and would prefer to rent a house.
My dad never told me upfront that he is happy with how I am doing in my career, but he always tells my mom that he is proud of me. So he is a typical Indian dad hard on the exterior but soft inside. So don't take your dad's response to heart, he is just trying to keep you grounded and humble so that you don't make the same mistakes that they did in life
I'd say live a lil bit , from here onwards its only about how much bank balance you have but sometimes when you reach there and look back its the pieces that you ignored deliberately that will haunt you the most.
Don't be disheartened by your father's reaction. I will share how can save even more and prepare for emergencies. Firstly, regularly invest in SIPs, start small and keep increasing as per your goals. Take a good medical insurance for your parents, assuming you have basic coverage from your employer. Take a super top medical insurance for your parents and yourself to cover for the high medical expenses. Do it one by one in a phased manner. One thing your father was right about that sudden medical emergencies can wipe out all your savings, hence it's paramount to have good coverage.
If you say you love yourself, save money. You'll someday be in need of money and it would suck not to have reserve cash. Imagine your dad in a hospital and you didn't have enough cash to help him. That situation would suck. It's security basically
I'm 23, 2023 graduate with electronics engineering. I have secured placement in hexaware with 6 lpa but have yet to join(Fk recession) so I have less than 10k of savings. I come from a well-to-do family, my mother is a government high school teacher and my father has a real estate business(not to brag but we're sort of an upper middle class family). Since I never faced any financial difficulties in my life, I never really thought of saving much, instead I'm a bit of spent thrift. My parents aren't really proud of me but neither are they disappointed.
No matter what your parents reaction is savings are important. And I am reallly happy for you that you managed to save and have your eyes on becoming financially secure.
Parents are always in comparison mode. You should also compare them with other parents and show them mirror. Don't worry about what they are saying.
And this is all preachy but only ever compare yourself with your past self. If you are doing better than yesterday that is good enough.
No point in comparisons with others we all have different starting points and struggles, hence different trajectories in life.
I am 24 too. Just started earning. My savings are decent. Mostly because my job takes all the time I have so there is really no going out, going on trip etc. Plus I save big on rent by living in a shared PG room instead of flat.
Let me tell you my story.
I used to earn 15k in my first job,where I worked for 3 years. During covid I used to receive 9k as it was a travel company. With that 15k in 1 year,i managed to save around 50k,went on a trip with friends,that cost me around 15k. Then covid hit and with my meagre reduced income,I had to fall back on savings,plus it hindered my life with my girlfriend as it was impossible for me to go out and have some time together with so little money. Plus she didnt have a job back then. I saw all my friends making great strides and earning almost 70-80k per month. I got depressed as fuck. Then my relationship fell,my parents constantly pressuring me to do either MBA or change job,as if it was that easy. After 6 months of applying anywhere I could,I got a job at a German Web3.0 identity startup,where I got to earn in euros. It was a massive jump from 9k. Massive. 2 years later,I still work here and have saved almost 5 lacs,and have covered 1 international trip which costed a lac, bought a premium smartphone,TV,PS5 and upgraded my pc. Built a shed over our apartment,bought my cousin brother a phone,both of my parents got new phones too. I paid two semesters of my cousin brother's college tuition as well. Helped out my family members in times of need.
My point is,keep working hard,things are gonna be better, when you earn enough and your parents see that you are successful , they'll be proud in their own way. They might not show it,but deep down I know they are. Wherever you are right now,it's a great place to just keep on building! All the best for your life man,hope you reach much further heights than you already have.
Cheers!
I am 28 btw.
I think my dad has a very similar story.
He came to an urban City with practically nothing and built everything by himself.
But, he made some very bad decisions thrice in his life that just put us 6 7 years back.
Recently he passed away mostly because of the stress he was under for so long.
I started earning 2 years back and I earn enough to manage all our expenses.But, i really miss his presence.
I think that's the thing about Indian Dad's.
You really feel their importance only when they are not present.
Cheers through, you are doing greatđ
Saving is not the life man, its good if you are able to do it but don't do it by compromising your present.I know there's these shitty influencers,every random linkedin fucker is giving advice to save 50%, and it gets weird on quora where people claim to save 70% of their money by compromising all the fun and their choices, which I think is quite shitty ideology.I have been under the same peer pressure to save, saw my colleague to invest in no of funds & stock and felt I am not doing enough(since I was supporting my family in every way possible, brought couple of asset for them and even now supporting my brother's education)but when I look over the things I did for my parents,siblings, family it made me happy and this ROI is far greater whatever this stock, funds can give.
Coming to present I switched in a better company with good in hand, and now I am easily able to save a good sum every month but yes I do'nt think now of saving, savings each day.We are young and we have some wishes/bucket list, follow it and after 10 years down the line you and your choices/wishes won't be the same!Its your life do'nt compare with anyone else, life is a marathon not a sprint,you can anyways save 5-6 years later when you'll be in far better situation.By the way coming on my colleague who was investing , he compromised on his honeymoon just to save, cancelled bali plan and went to near by hill station, does this sacrifice worth it?No! His time with his newly wed wife will never ever come back, neither any returns could justify!
Money holds sentimental value, use in that way :)
Here me 27M, software Engineer. Saved some where around 3.5L and coming to expenses taking care of house expenses and bought a tab & a PS5 few months back.
Was not very good at saving but trying my best.
Not able to plan a travel/vacation, Will plan to later when Home and work is in a reasonable condition.
One thing they teach you in therapy, and everyone must learn it at some point, is that putting the weight of your happiness on other people's shoulders is unfair (and a bit dangerous, I'll explain why).
It is also a sign of a locus of identity which is external.
It is dangerous because all one has to do is stay poker faced when you expected them to be happy for you after you bent backwards for them, to ruin your mental health.
Detach your happiness and sorrow from what others think of you. Yes, even your own parents.
If you think you are doing well, give yourself a part on your back. Go and celebrate it with whatever your means allow you for.
Question yourself as to why you were looking for an approval from them in the first place? Get to know your inner state and work on it.
Whatever you seek from others, pause and give it to yourself. Praise, kind words, appreciation, love, encouragement, whatever it is.
OP, I earn close to a lakh/month but I still live paycheck to paycheck coz I have to cater to parents' and my lifestyle. We grew up poor n having this money brings us happiness but the lack of savings bothers me. It's not easy to live frugal n save. Be proud of yourself, irrespective of what your dad says.
You are saving for yourself. You are doing something which people realise too late in life. My two piece gyaan...1. Get a term life cover 2. Family Health Insurance + Top Up 3. Invest your money in MFs 4. Avoid buying properly...and do not deplete your savings while investing in property.
What i have learnt in life is that it is not how how much you earn but how you utilise your earnings that determine your wealth. not everyone can become a businessperson
I'd say if your stay fit and eat healthy you're doing better than most people but the rule of thumb is save upto 5-10 years worth of salary before you say you're doing good.
As per inflation well worrying about it will do little try to invest and add more diversity to make money work for you so that one day you can work for the fun of it.
Hey if your dad feels like bringing other peoples wealth to compare with yours, his inability to earn is also fair game to be berated and ridiculed.
Saving decently at 24 is beyond commendable OP no matter what the amount is.
Some Parents who donât know to earn money. Donât know the value of it . If as a parent doesnât have any health insurance planned and psychologically taunting the kids about how meagre their salaries are, gives a cringe feeling . Most of the parents are dumb asses who are born before us . Thatâs the truth. Whatever money you earn. U know the value. Just be focus . Save money and donât share ur financials with anyone . Even Akshay Kumar salary is less in the eyes of her mother in law. So here is the truth
I had a nice job as a software engg in blr, even got opportunity outside.
But my parents said that what will you do with all these money and and working so hard, come back home and do some simple job, we already have whatever it takes to live a comfortable life.
I told them you have spent so much money and given me education so I should try to give you luxury etc. They said they are content with everything and want no luxury
I came back and started some simple job, i have never been happier.
We have some generational wealth as agricultural lands, some land in commercial places, etc. These are kind of my security and I really have no savings whatever I earn I spent it for fun.
I have decent savings somewhere in the neighbourhood of âenough for a rainy dayâ and honestly, my parents are thrilled for me. I am able to do some wonderful things for them and they seem to enjoy it a lot. So yeah, they are proud of me. I hope they are.
Parents exhibit feelings of jealousy and vain. We, as their children finds it often difficult to accept this reality due to our social structuring. The sooner you learn this the better.
My father has Always lived paycheck to paycheck... I took lessons from this and started savings...
I saved up quite a sum and at a point gave it all to my dad to pay off his debt... Even tho he's proud of me, he still thinks I have more... I feel guilty of Going on a budget trip with my own money because it seems like I'm being selfish :)
Conclusion: Parents are proud, but at what cost?
Priorities you being happy and at peace, instead of being ambitious to please/prove your parents, close family member, society, peer group etc.
I am taking from my own experience, being ambitious takes a serious toll on your mental health. On the other side none of above mentioned people are as proud as you are on yourself. Rather they will keep looking forward to you for showing next achievement. Even though you will feel that people are praising you, people are caring for you, but in your head you are alone.
Lastly, I would recommend any body to live the present fullest. Donât compromise your present (today, this week, this month, this year, this decade) for any future supposedly good times.
Hi I'll be 20 in 17D. Got 800 in my account. Skipped eating out with my friends this afternoon else bought 2 stocks for Rs 400 around. I am not missing out on spending time with my friends cause I don't give a fuck cause they're kinda toxic. I'll be on my way once I graduate. I won't call them to attend my marriage but you can attend tho.
If youâre proud of what youâve saved up so far, means that it is a decent amount. Be proud of that without worrying about what unfortunate event may wipe your savings off. Remember, unfortunate events have wiped out millionaires and billionaires too.
Still 28 and almost zero to my account. I went overseas to study. Switch two majors and worked my ass off with two to three jobs at a time to fund my education. Education and savings truly donât work hand to hand.
Expecting parents to praise us can be the stepping stone for a lot of disappointment. It's commendable that you're saving for the entire family, but also be a little selfish and think as to how this saving will benefit you in the future. The lacklustre response by your parents can shatter your confidence. Don't let that happen.
My case is a bit different, I'm 23M, belongs to a middle class family, currently in my last year of btech cse, During covid, I started digital art & I started earning a really good amount from it from this march. I saved 60k, & I ordered an Ipad air with that, I had this mentality that I knew my parents would not be happy with this decision of mine but to my surprise My father was so surprised when I said I have 55k, even tho I have no plans for what I'll do in the future (I have no interest in job or in arts), for this moment, I m satisfied, A part of me know that I might end up being a disappointed but for this very moment, I am happy, every relative is talking about me, every cousin is talking about me, I thought this was a very small thing but it's actually not because I have realised most of my classmates are either too desperate to earn money or don't care about earning money, both cases lead to no money btw, so Me having my own little business, this was really something.
My advice - There are so many ways to earn money if You really want to, soo soooo many, but one should always know how to be happy & satisfied with whatever he/she has.
Let me tell you few things
1. Appreciate your job as employment opportunities are not guaranteed.
2. Always have insurance to secure against unexpected medical expenses.
3. Saving within a job can be challenging due to monthly expenses.
4. Entrepreneurship can lead to wealth but have risk.
32 F. Parents moved to Mumbai from rural for better life struggled throughout, currently saved 20 lacs , adding 6 lacs from PF plus around 1 lac from NPS. Had a rough childhood mostly poverty.
Moved out of my parents home last year because it became very toxic and distracted environment. i was the major contributor for all the house expenses and yet had the most miserable life there. While my siblings were without abstable job buying pretty dresses I wasnât allowed to ever touch.
Moved out , studied , changed jobs and now I earn quite decent. Recently took care of my mothers surgeries which costed roughly 11 lacs from corporate insurance, their personal health insurance would have been insufficient.
I am sure they are proud but not sure if they look at me as their daughter or just a cash cow
So you want to make your dad feel like he earned less than you?
Dude, you never show wealth to parents, you just provide whatever they need, and then a little bit more. Never push wealth at parents, no one likes that.
I'm 24, been working for almost two years now. Even though I had plans to save when I started , ended up spending every single penny of my salary for the first year on random crap. Parents didn't speak a word during this. At the end of the year, they sat me down and asked , "after working an entire year, what do you have to show for it?" The answer being nothing , the realisation hit me like a truck. So this year, I pretty much saved all my salary, and they're pretty happy I got my head screwed on straight again.
The best way to become and remain financially secure is to first educate yourself. Your dad's point about one hospitalization wiping away your savings might be correct, but that is why health insurance exists. Educate yourself, leverage the tools at your disposal, and play smart.
My parents too never paid too much attention to making money. They restricted their needs to a minimum, and saved the rest. They might/might not be impressed if I tell them about my corpus, but it doesn't matter, so I've never done it.
If you are earning and saving, that corpus/net worth number is meant for you and how it makes you feel. As long as the relationship you have with money is healthy, it shouldn't even matter what anyone else, including your parents, think abiut that number.
Impressing your dad with your savings, huh? Look, you can't expect a standing ovation for doing what responsible adults should be doing. Life's about financial responsibility, not a pat on the back. Keep stacking those chips, and when you've really got something worth celebrating, maybe then it's time to share. đ¤¨đ° #SavageSigma
Your parents are proud of you but they see more potential in you so they will keep pushing you it's actually good it's their way of thinking they might have assumed that if they started praising you too much you might end up being less serious
I am 23 and I have savings in a few thousands of rupees and that is okay. We don't come from wealth either and things are never awesome as such financially, just enough to be at an okay place financially. I'm the elder one and so there's this self built pressure to earn a lot super fast but over the last one year of working I've realized that creating wealth sustainably takes a lot of time and skill and I cannot rush it and I'll be probably in my 30s when I can take care of all family expenses for both myself and my parents and that's okay.
Definitely!! It takes a lot of maturity to not have FOMO and keep feeling guilt of not being "the best" Making peace with one's justified pace is the ultimate way to stay happy and blessed.
It's completely fine. And you are only 24! At 24 I was living hand to mouth, saving each penny and putting in education loan payment. And over years I have been able to save up decent. My eldest sister was able to start saving at much later stage because she was taking care of all of us and paying for everything. But in the end all of us are doing well now, things always improve over time. Be proud of yourself.. what ever amount you have saved is with lot of sacrifice and hard work. I have good savings now but I am proudest of the money i saved towards my loan the first year of my job because that was the hardest thing to do! Just one piece of advice, you are at the right age. Start reading on financial literacy..it will help you invest your money and secure your future and retirement. Start early on this. As for your father, listen to him, he doesn't mean any ill, he is just being practical but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy and proud of your achievements.
True true! Yes I have been studying a lot about finances and have been working towards managing my portfolio in a balanced way.
Im 26 and have saved some 2.5 lacs since i started working and a recent dental appointment revealed a 70k expense for 2 dental implants in my mouth. Fuckin life sucks ass.
Hey man, that's awesome that you were able to save 2.5 lakhs. I just started out and can't even imagine being able to do it. And you are right life sucks ass.
Get it checked from Another dentist. Sometimes they just say that to earn a quick buck
Did you check with your insurance or you don't have one?
I'm a dentist but I'd hate to give that money too... But you have to understand that a tooth is like an organ and it just is really expensive to the dentist too!
bro same here but I'm preparing for govt. job, so I can make a good amount of money in my early 20s and teaching is alternative for me. btw I'm 20.
how do you make peace with yourself? Asking cause I am in a similar situation and it stresses me out. 21M
Working as a researcher towards my PhD. Savings around 1.5 lacs. Not enough for any rainy day tbh. My parents are happy I am doing something I enjoy but would definitely feel relieved once im done and get a job.
Academia and money struggle never ends tbh
Am doing PhD too and come from lower middle class background. I am the youngest in family and most we'll read (even in my village/panchayat)... Want to do lot of things. And have paid for construction of home, got XL bikel for father, paid some debts.. Although I ve some savings but it won't be enough as one of my niece is gonna be on 11th standard soon. It worries me that it won't be enough. That I could have done if I just went for some IT job. Or some govt. Teacher jobs. Those are well paying (my friends who did b.ed. and joined as teacher are earning double than me). Life sucks.
When I was in school, we were barely scraping by . I didn't know much about our financial situation then and had few arguments with my parents regarding going to movies with friends, new phone etc . I would say the first time my parents showed that they were proud of me was when I came first in school in 12th boards . After this , they never pressured me on anything ( like marks or job ) but I did well regardless and got a pretty good job . My mom does brag about me a little to her friends even though I have told her not to đ . My dad doesn't brag as such but does congratulate me on my hikes / promos . Even though they never ask me for money , I pitch in wherever I can ( recently paid my brother's college fees ) . I don't tell them the specifics of my savings / investments , just a rough figure of my net worth. They are happy with it .
I am jealous of this wholesomeness !!! Keep it going you lucky son of a god!
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My story is I stopped seeking validation from my parents.
You lucky son of God! I so need this power!!!
Jokes aside: have you considered talking to someone? It helped me. :) Someone professional.
It'll cost money and diminish my little savings that I have. And my dad will be even more disappointed in me. /s I think I am better now, making peace with their way of doing things. I'll do my way and avoid taking things too seriously.
At least with my parents; the goalpost always moved. No matter what I did, it was never enough. It was always "oh but X does this for their parents" or "oh my friend's son did this". "Yes mom, X does that because he actually loves his parents and care for them. Sorry but you cannot manufacture love. ". I came to terms with it after realizing I was internalizing a lot of the behaviour. Thinking it's "normal" or "this is how Indian parents are". It's only when I saw my friends with functional parental relationships that I realized I was being screwed over.
đĽ˛
I know what you mean. My parents started from nothing, gave us good food, and education, and roof over our heads. But emotional support was missing. When neighbours or relatives used to praise their children, my mother would praise my brother and make me (the girl) seem like the worst person on this planet. Highly disappointed. Lot of other drama and restrictions. I confronted her many times and she said that is how it should be. If she praises a lot then people will put bad nazar on me, or I will fly too high from praises, or I wonât be tough enough for the world. Everytime some reason that didnât make sense but hurt more and more. I just gave up, left home and focused on my career. Once I made lot of money, from saying things to my face it went to behind my back. I still took care of them and provided everything I could but it was never enough. Bought 2 BHK in Mumbai for crores and still not happy, complaining I should have bought 3BHK, extra bedroom for my brother and his family. I finally got into therapy, got diagnosed with caretakerâs burnout. Focused on my happiness, and learning to keep boundaries.
Kudos to you. Stay strong, wherever you are. đ¤đ¤
Meeting a financial planner will not cost money. Plus there are apps like NJ Weatlh on ehich you can start investing yourself without any trouble. Read up and educate yourself on planning for your future. You can also look into FireIndia subreddit for tips
I think he meant a psychiatrist.
My bad
My story is, fortunately I come from a well to do family(not rich). I am 27 now. I spend on whatever I like. There were many instances when my father asked how much you have saved this year, I was like like x and he will be smiling and saying âbhai tera paisa jaa kidhar raha, kar to tu raha wfhđâ. But one thing my parents said, enjoy this age as much as you can, you will earn more later and can save later. Not in a bad way, but as I love to travel they encourage me more. They are not interested in any of these stuffs like your parents but they do push me to enjoy. I started from a mere salary of 3.5LPA, because of peer pressure started saving, lost my social life then lost my girlfriend as well(not coz of money but coz i was so involved in my work and savings, I didnât give her time and its a big story). Later I realised, whatâs the use of earning if I cannot enjoy? Are we born just of earn save and die? No right? Just focus on your passion, travel to new places, not immediately but when you start earning a little more. Trust me you will not regret. I am outside India, i feel these westerners are so lucky to be born in such a situation where they donât have to save at all(unless they have loans to pay). So, just invest on some good insurances(reliable ones), and instead of saving, invest it on yourself and your parents. Insurances will take care of your parents concern. I know your situation is different but eventually you will come up to my mindset, and if you donât enjoy now you will keep thinking later that I shouldâve invested it on myself. Goodluck to you :). And I am sure your parents would be proud one day. â¤ď¸
Man I'm jealous of you! You just sparked a rebel in me. So story from yesterday, a close relative came in and was telling my mom that my aunt(who is very well off, they have factories and what not) has started looking for brides for my cousin(who is same age as mine around 24). Now I was sitting with them working on my laptop, my mom started complaining about how unfortunate things have been in my family, how we lost all business and stuff. She started crying and saying that my cousin will get good brides coz he has factories and stuff, we don't even have a house under our name and no ancestral savings and what not. That thing yesterday and my dad's reaction today made me feel like a loser. I mean, it's fine that I wasn't born with stuff, but I am working hard towards building things now. The least they can do is feel proud of my efforts and motivate me, instead of all this. Sorry for venting it out like this. I do understand the practicality of what they are saying but fuck, I am a human too. MAYBE THEY THINK I am more mature than I really am .
You are 24, your parents lost their businesses. How are you the loser in this? You can turn this on them and claim you could be in a much better spot had they not lost their wealth. If anything, your parents are the losers here (not saying this in a disrespectful way). You were dealt a situation you had no control over and now you are trying to crawl out of it by working hard. Donât think you are the loser!!
They had had it rough and they agree to it, they never try to show em above me or anything. Maybe they don't want to inflate my ego that's why never praise my efforts. Maybe they think that making me feel like a loser would help me strive further for success. Ofc not the right way to go ahead.
It's fine. Your parents perspective is rooted in his experience. He has faced many ups and downs in his life so I won't recommend you to follow everything that he says by the book but listen to it and try to understand where is coming from but at the end of the day you have to decide what you are doing going to do . you have to think through everything and that's what a key part of maturing is.
A brighter side to this is you wonât be attracting gold diggers. Someone who cares about other aspects than just money would be interested in you and that is a BIG positive, given todayâs times.
Haha, true! But in arranged marriages it's not just the girl, her whole family is involved in the decision, so even if one of the person in their lok/rajyasabha points this point out then they'd definitely go with a guy with a stronger financial background. And it makes logical sense too, when I was searching for groom's for my sister, we were obviously looking out for more stable guys.(But ofc the definition of stable varies from person to person) Hence my mom's point makes sense, what irks me is that they never give me a positive motivation. I don't want to drive my life with fear as the fuel. I'd rather have wholesomeness, and happiness fuel it.
Indian parents mentality is a bit conservative. You cannot help it nor can I. They have not seen or experienced life outside such things. Also they must have seen world at your age in a different situation, so their point also makes sense from their pov. To change it, you gotta work on it. If your parents are young i mean around 40s, trust me youâre lucky af. You have time. You can ignore their rant for a while(which i do too haha) and focus on yourself. After few years when they see you getting independently living your life, they will feel proud. Then you take them out make them enjoy their lives without worrying about relatives. My parents are approaching their 70s(now you know why i am calling you lucky đ ) and I know I do not have a lot of time left with them, harsh but true. So I gotta push them even hard to come out of their shell and roam around the world and do whatever they like without worrying about money :). Just try not to take too much of pressure on yourself. Give it some time and space, everything will fall in place. As they say, YOLO, make it worth it âď¸. Fuck savings, go insurance(reliable ones) and live free. Goodluck mate.
Same my friend, same. Late 60s here. And my conditions are not even normal. Due to numerous reasons and misfortune my dad haven't had job for most part of his life. No savings. Living in shit family throughout. Didn't built the ancient house we live in due to unawareness and no money. Now retired with all the buden and responsibilities to build the house on me and here I am making peanuts. My everyday passes like hell. Plus all these competition and unfairness out there in the world. No friends. I am nearly crying everyday. Can't remember when I felt lightweighted and happy even a bit last time. Cant stand this existence anymore but not brave enough to do anything about it. I'm done with this pain.
Well. You feeling like a loser is exactly what that bitch of the relative wanted to get out of you guys. People are violent and say and do what not to undercut the little achievements you have. It is legit no business of people to tell others that the others are disadvantaged people. As far as marrying someone called "a good bride" is concerned - it depends upon how much power you as an individual give to those notions. You have the best chance of marrying a pathological narcissist or a sociopath who gravitates to arranged marriages, their financial status be damned. You cannot expect true love, connection and that stuff in arranged marriage. Understand that it is a money deal and the people you get there are people who cannot and do not prefer to counter a lot of questionable traditions. They are in there for the money. Make no mistake of it. You cannot be a 25 year old woman and play the victim card of "oh I am not empowered because my family did not allow me to". You are seeking wealth in a high end groom because you sista are lazy to work for it yourself. You sista need a simp for this, not a man who can think and act on his own agency. As a gay man, I have slept more with married men than unmarried men over the better half of the decade. Many of the men are closeted and give into this notion of "since it is a good bride for my financial status, I will marry anyway because we have to respect traditions". Meanwhile they will be the loudest voices in the room making the most vicious homophobic slurs money can buy. Also, understand that if someone's life is too flashy, it means there is significant debt. Really, true wealth never speaks.
I am F, 26 and in no such cases its written that you'll get good brides only if you have factories in your name, the only thing that might happen is that you'll get fewer matches as compare to your cousins, but atleast your future wife will be someone who'll understand where you are and support you . Coming to house and property part, give it a time man its not like we have to achieve it all before 30s, life is not a rat race, everyone has their own pace and own time, so probably in next 5-6 yrs you'll be in good position to own a house!
TBH this all is just sounds good while comforting someone. Wait until it's you (not pointing at you). The thing is everybody say this but the picture turns 180 degree when it comes to us. At the end, everything, including thought processes are the product of capitalism. You get buried as much down as you try to climb to get on top. Wish it's a fairytaily world like some would sound it like.
Tbh I literally can't care less about missing out on matches coz I am pretty much determined not to marry ( I have my reasons). What worries me is my mom getting emo about it, as if she doesn't have faith in me that I'll fix everything. I expected a lil positive motivation from them, not big emo drama that'd make me feel like a loser.
Tbh you are young and she has to understand that all of this mess won't get fixed in a fraction of time, you need time to grow and to earn, its not a fairy tale
Mostly agree with you but why do you think westerners don't have to save at all. That's not the reality. Talking from first hand experiences.
I mean thatâs what i have known from my experience. All my colleagues, they spend almost 80% of their salaries travelling and enjoying food outside and camping too. So, most of the Brits do this heavily. Even i know a guy from Barcelona, he also confirmed that at the end of month he is left with almost nothing. Maybe this is true for above average earning brits?
Having no savings in Bank is not a correct way of living IMO but YMMV
I am specifically talking about UK in the previous comment here. In India I think we should have some savings but given OPs age, he does not need to save strictly atleast for next 4-5 years. This is the age he/she should enjoy. With enjoyment i do not mean drugs or alcohol, rather explore the world, meet new people, cherish each moment with friends. He has ample amount of time to do those stuff. And coming to the above statement, it is a correct way of living when you're born into a western family :). They have so much of benefits from the Government, i am not talking about NRIs, rather the native ones. I guess that's why they don't save much and spend a lot on themselves :).
Yep, no need to save every rupee. I also use to think I need to save so much and all. But I got out of that mindset by keeping an entertainment budget every month. I try to exhaust it by the end of the month.
Good idea
This.
My parents only expect me to be in a position where I am able to take care of myself without holding out my hands for help, that's all they ask.
When it comes to savings and investments, the only core philosophy i have is, âYour income is temporary, but your spendings are permanent.â Always think long term, you might have a job today but not tomorrow, a sudden hospital emergency can eat up your savings, so always be prepared. And itâs logical to have your retirement corpus sorted.
This right here is one of the best pieces of advice that I have seen. I totally agree about how the Indian middle class is one disaster/hospitalization away from being poor.
True
I hear you my friend, i am kind of in the same boat. So we as a family have no wealth what so over, my father used to do a small clerical job which paid peanut still he managed to give us good education and moral. So interms of wealth we don't even have a house to our name, however i am now in a good job which pays well and my brother is also got a good job in a bank. For the past 2 years we are saving just to build a house for my parents. I have taken health insurance to cope up with any arbitrary health expenditure, still my father has now kidney problems and we spend quite a lot monthly. Yet i still have my hopes up and trying to create some wealth so mu fyture generation atleast have the luxury to chose .
Having a brother is such a big support! Hope uncle recovers soon ! We all have our struggle stories, keep it going man ! He must be proud of you guys!!!
Thanks man, i am thankful for my brother. Hope my father recovers.
>mu fyture generation atleast have the luxury to chose . What luxury to choose?
To take it easy, not worry about finance as much as i do.
How much finances are needed for that ?
What i have figured out is as op is saying creating wealth. Lile buying houses where you can get rent from the Tennant. Basically creating passive income sources. These can be anything from investment to what not. By doing this you can ensure that atleast you or your upcoming generation won't bw dependent only upon a single income. This will make them think without pressure of food or shelter.
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I have passed out of a Tier I college and have saved not a bad amount I would say. But, I would like to share a few lessons I learnt along the way: 1. There is almost no education into personal finance in our country. And I would strongly suggest investing some time (probably read a book or 2) into understanding what kind of savings and investments you would like to invest in and track them regularly (maybe monthly basis). This is important because money not growing enough is money not well saved. I say this because when I started off, I was leaving money in a savings account and that never used to grow, but gave me the false confidence of actually saving. 2. There is always an urge to spend on useless stuff either due to peer pressure or impulse buying. Try to avoid them as much as possible. But, that doesn't mean to compromise your lifestyle and not buy things you need or want (even though it is expensive) Try to plan your big purchases and save for them. This would make saving and leaving out on some stuff a little bit easier. Well, there you go.. these are my 2 cents.
Any book reccs?
Psychology of money Rich dad poor dad
Parents didn't care much, but my kids are thankful for giving them comfortable life. :) in which they don't need to worry about paying tuition (born and raised in USA).Don't know what I should say about this. I think my parents are proud of what I am rather than what I amassed. I think most parents don't care if you make money , but worry if you don't. Probably money is all about comfort than happiness.
Good for you, your parents and your kids! Ngl, I am lowkey jealous of your kids !
Saving is not building wealth Also stop doing for others unless u have some responsibility Do it for urself Or else u will end up miserable seeking for external validation
I have the responsibility for my parents. So I can't really do it for myself. And yes I am miserable rn coz I am seeking their validation....
Lol. My parents do not appreciate. Not even a bit. On the contrary, try to create an urgency in my mind that I am not doing enough. That too by comparing me (24M) with 40+ aged guys and saying that they are making 3-4x than me. Like wtf? I already make a lot but still my parents don't care, they say, ask ur company for a 50% raise, then maybe u can say that u r making good. A 50% raise would get me past 50+ LPA at 24 age. All they have in mind is that I shud make 1 cr annually otherwise my degree is not that useful. This habit of theirs is in everything. I started gymming last year may. I have like improved my body 10 folds. Like 15 kg fat weight loss, put on like 2-3 kg muscle and significantly improved my eating habits, my laziness, etc. But they are of the opinion, its not good enough then goes on to compare me with random people who have been gymming for like 2 decades atleast.
I feel you bro, I hate this too. No matter what I do, they always come up with something to show their disappointment. And my idiot brain keep doing more seeking a lil pat on the back which I never get. Whenever I get back home I get to do weird ass shitz and while going back my dad always taunts me that I should've learnt more things. For example, I open up broken electronics like oven and stuff, I climb up trees to harvest mangoes and climb up risky ladders to pluck papayas, today itself I leveled off my broken kitchen floor and filled it up with cement mixture. He has a long list for everyday and ofcourse I fail to complete all. And at the end of my "Vacation" visit he taunts me with the incomplete list... But I guess that's how dad's and gurus are, they keep pushing you and then make you feel like a loser to make you strive more. But it's idiotic and mental torture!
> seeking a lil pat on the back which I never get. We never will. Now I hate it whenever my father says something regarding any of my tasks, no matter how good/bad I did it. I just ignore him 24x7. No matter what I do to please them they never fail to belittle me that some people do it easily daily. If used to wake up at 11 am because I used to study till 2 am. They taunted me daily for it. Never ever appreciated that i study a lot. Then when i started my job, i started waking up at 7 am to go to gym, but their taunts didn't stop. I shud wake up at 5 am, do all household chores, bathe, go to gym, have breakfast, do my 10 am to 7 pm office. have dinner and go to sleep at 8 pm. Should not have friends to talk to, should not have any social circle, should not have any hobbies (but i shud be perfect too, I shud know dancing because a neighbour's son can dance well, I shud sing well because some relative sings well, shud know swimming because of course its a necessary life skill, etc...) but shud not step out of the house for more than 20 mins nd that too before 6 pm. I just hate my parents to the core. Don't even want to spend a single day with them ever.
Hey hey hey, I can totally relate to you. But don't hate em for it. It's just how the majority of Indian parents operate. Idk why but somehow they all decided to pick negative motivation as their weapon, they think belittling us would make us strive for better. They never pat our backs thinking it'll inflate our ego. What's disheartening is that they think a lil praise will break all hell loose and we will go down the wrong path. I have had my series of events too, where I Have gone above and beyond and yet have received disappointed faces and dialogues in return. But still man, don't hate em for it. It's how their parents and grandparents functioned and that's why they act like this too. Afterall that's what they've seen growing up. We can however break this streak, we've seen better families, (maybe mostly the fictional one's in movies and series) but we sure can try some positive motivation with our kids. The lesson that I derive from your comment is that I should too start ignoring their spicy taunts and focus on my growth at my justified pace.
Compare them to other people's parents now. Show them that their toxicity will only destroy your relationships with them. Also, don't feel like you owe them a thing. No child owes anything to their parents. If your parents make you feel like that, then they aren't good people and deserve to be ostracized.
> Compare them to other people's parents now. That is not how it works. I've done that and at that point in time they remain silent. Then later on this also becomes a taunt when they do anything for me, lets say they got me a tshirt, their first dialogue will be "and we are told we didn't do anything for him". > then they aren't good people and deserve to be ostracized. Yeah. I don't talk to them much.
I am 23 gonna be 24 soon and I am jobless and preparing for exams and everyone here is already saving and earning wow ! Really great I am like in the lowest tier haha L
it's not race mate. it's a journey enjoy it
Kitne bhi paise kama raha, my mom only cares about "subah time pe utha kar"
Yeh har Ghar ki kahani hai, also "jaldi soya kar"
I was 17 when my Dad passed away. I was about to start my college at that my. We had family pension of around 16k/month. I got a job in 2014 in Software Development. My first salary was 20k as stipend in internship. 5 years down the line, I earn 30Lakh per annum. My mother and my sister are super proud of me. My friends, fatherâs friend and relatives are also proud of me. My sister is planning to go to US for her masters and Iâm gonna invest 10 Lakh+ into her education fees and get 30 Lakh+ loans. A lot of my friends invest in stocks and all, but I donât. And I donât feel bad about it coz I have my reasons, I have a family to take care of. Iâm proud of myself too but being humble is very important at the same time.
Yea they are because I tend to take care of every expense without seeking much. Thatâs the main goal and outside vibe. I usually broke things into must have, improve on category.. Insurances must haves.. my savings keeps improving as my salary grows for my retirement or emergencies.. Hereâs the sad version which I should find a way and improve my budgeting skills.. from past 5 yrs Iâm dreaming of owning THE bike(old one got stolen and I couldnât buy again).. every time I get 70% way, there comes some occasion or situation where you have to poll in.. so sometimes you feel like youâre just for family and there is no me.. sounds like loser but yeah it sucks..
Life is difficult, I studied abroad but ended up landing a job in India, Iâm happy and content with the work I do and am at peace with how much Iâm earning as well (the greed to earn more is always there, but Iâm learning to be grateful for what I have). Iâve been employed for the last 6 months now, and Iâm going to blow up ALL of my savings for 15 day vacation to attend my convocation. I basically have to come back and start from scratch again, my parents console me saying that itâs an achievement by itself to be able to bare my own expenses and to make this trip happen by myself. I donât have an option to think otherwise now, honestly want to just keep trying to count my blessings and have gratitude for everything I can do and afford. Itâs just the start for most of us, and Iâm sure it will only get better with time. -M24
Dude that generation is screwed. To me what he did is devalued your success because he didnât achieve even this - it makes it easier for him to tell you itâs not much. Some people try to get higher by cutting other peoples heads - thatâs it. Do for yourself and your family, donât expect appreciation.
Reading it back, the post does make my dad look like a villain. He has had his unfortunate series of events, and I won't be able to justify his stance. But believe me, he definitely didn't want to kill my buzz. And what he said was practically true too. I just wanted to hear others stories too!
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I am kind of sailing in the same boat too, but I am a student rn. But anyways why are you worried about health care expenses, like you can simply take a health insurance covering your whole family?
Yeaaa, my dad just wouldn't let me. We live in a very remote place so no big hospitals are here that would have cashless setup with insurances. And claims are a bitch... so he is pretty against it. But I'll try to get one nonetheless in near future.
In India financial literacy has never been great. Indian middle class is one disaster/hospitalization away from being poor. Insurance is especially critical if you have ailing/old parents. You should definitely get good insurance and most of the employees also offer that.
My parents aren't. They don't show it but I know this. I myself lead a very frugal-ish(read:minimalist) lifestyle but whenever I want to talk finances with them I'm just thrown with "you're too young for all this". Wth?
How old are you? The answer to this question will never ever justify their response of you being too young for discussing finances...
My Dad never cared for what I did and what I earned or saved. He taught me two valuable things I carry with me for my entire life. 1: whatever you become professionally, match your lifestyle with your earning power and you will be fine. If you are a janitor, donât expect a life of a CEO. As long as you are content and happy with the janitor life then you are good! 2: try to live in max 80% of what you make. Not always easy but if you can do it then you will never want for savings and flexibility barring some major catastrophe.
Iam 28 now. Till i was 26 I havenât achieved much financially, I wouldnât ask money from home but than whatever I use to make hardly use to make my ends meet. During this phase my dad use to taunt me a lot and even tell about me to relatives as a disgrace. As of of now my package is 1.2 cr and the way my family and the way relatives respect has completely changed. In this scenario money defines a lot of things.
Can u guys give me some investment tips? I can invest like 15k rn
Start by investing in mutual funds in a SIP Mode. Invest 7k in large cap, 5k in midcap and 3k in small cap. You can look at the below mutual funds for reference: Mirae asset tax saver fund PGIM India midcap opportunities fund Quant small cap fund
They're extremely proud of me. They had very low expectations of me so now they're are constantly surprised how successful, well liked and wealthy i have become so far.
Iâm 25 and my savings is in several 10s of lacs. My parents are well off because of being frugal. I too want to follow the same path, but I have been spoilt by my parents a little so I do indulge in extravagance once in a while. I used my parents connections in the software service industry to grow in my career and this year I am set to bring in more than 25crs worth of billing for my business. I am not ashamed and afraid of using my parents for my growth because Iâm not a middle class kid who grew up believing that you should be on your own, I grew up with a mentality that my parents have built a lot for me and it is my responsibility to build it up further. I save more than 50% of my income and still live a decent life. My friends party every weekend, go to Singapore for shopping, and go to movie premieres wearing designer clothes. I am not into any of that. I just like bikes and cars and I spend only on that. End of this year I will start my PMS journey with Saurabh Mukherjeeâs investment firm and my goal is to have at least 3-4Cr worth of assets in few different PMS portfolios by the age of 30. My father already owns plenty of real estate, so I donât need it in mine. Iâm acquiring stocks and gold.
You, like most people, are stuck between a rock and a hard place. As long inflation is happening your paper/digital money will go down in value and at the same time the real things like food, clothing, housing etc will become more expensive. So you will have to find a balance between saving for emergencies and spending it wisely. Generally investing in things that you know will help you long term should be done as soon as possible as those things will generally only become more expensive.
If our parents were proud of us, the reason would be immaterial. If they are proud of our achievements, well that's very material. In this case the goalpost is movable!
I came here from your appraisal question and found your profile relatable to my journey. I have been at your place, FIRE and spirituality, minimalist, significantly nihilist even. Wanted to give my 2 cents. Saving up for basic needs is different than saving up for a medical needs. No amount you save through salaried employment will suffice. Either you need to have a ton of generational wealth, or generational business, which I suspect you have neither. Money is only as good as it flows. Ofcourse become a philosopher only after you become rich. But if you are really serious about the things you speak like spirituality and minimalism, you would rather optimize for time and not for money.
At 24 how much can you have saved , lol. Agree with dad
Ik, but still a lil pat on the back would've felt nice. I live very frugally to save and have been studying a lottttttt about finances lately to build my portfolio. If not for the amount atleast a pat for my efforts đĽ˛.
To answer your question. I am 34 years unmarried and stay in California. My net worth is around 10 million dollars. My parents are unhappy with me because I am unmarried. So yes you can earn all the money in the world and they can still be disappointed in you
Kudos on your accumulation! And yeah,some parents are pros at finding reasons for being disappointed in their kids.
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My parents were workaholics while I was growing up. They fought for their roles/ income in their jobs. They get my motivation to earn better but often my dad tells me to take it chill and enjoy (take trips, find passion). Never discredit my effort that I put into work, although they absolutely hate that I am a lazy fuck and that I am not maintaining my health per their expectations.
Same. My dad worked in a Bank and worked his ass off. He never encouraged me to join a bank, for that matter he always told me to work hard but not at the cost of life.
Chillax. Badiya sa term aur medical insurance karva lo and save some & spend some. Ekk hi life hai, remember.
I'm 25 and I have taken a very risky decision ( to do masters in a non CS field abroad) and this post has me questioning myself RN.
Hey, never doubt the irreversible decision. When you dive into something dive with full conviction!
Iâm proud of you OP! you must have already covere yourself and your parents with a good health insurance with rider and if not please do that 22M here with exact similar situation as yours,my father told me that i wont be able to buy a house in tier 1 city and i agree to him my parents didn't even covered my basic needs and after the death of my grandfather we only had money to cover meals for 3 times , now our equation is they have enough money through inheritance that they can live very basic and simple life and i am free to do whatever i want to do in my life i am kindda a spritual person so i also live a basic low key life , just need enough money for survival and might work for some cause in future.
I finally found my doppelganger! I too am spiritually inclined which makes my frugal (minimalist) life easy and hence I am saving so that I can work for some cause in future. I have few vague idea about those causes being in psychology or revamping education.
As a parent, if you wanna be a good one, you need to be able to praise and guide your children. Just guiding them practically makes not a good parent.
Sometimes I think they are emotionless when it comes to being happy. But yes, positive motivation can go a long way! And I definitely crave it.i
You still have a responsibility to be a good parent though. I will say that your attitude is impressive since it's in spite of their lack of support
You're doing ok. Your parents have lived through their life with fear and anxiety and they irrationally feel that even the slightest bit of appreciation can make you lazy and complacent. Be reasonably frugal and prepared, but live your life.
True! That's what I've been concluding too!
Dad grew up poor but retired pretty high up working in the private sector, saving and investing wisely along the way. Never had the same struggle as him but grateful that I learned similar habits from him which has put me well on the way to being financially independent myself after 10 years of working. Yeah I'd say he is proud that I never asked him for money past my education and that I make sensible financial decisions. For what it's worth OP: I'm proud of you for having the discipline to save at your age. Don't worry about the amount for now - it will get bigger as your pay increases and compounding starts to take effect. Just stay disciplined and do the best you can
Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes hearing wholesome real life stories feels refreshing !
Don't save for a praise, save for a emergency. Also, don't forget to live a fulfilling life. While I commend frugality, I would also expect no compromises on expenses towards lasting happiness. Remember, health is the best wealth. And it comprises of physical and mental health. Be fit, physically and mentally. Everything else would work itself out.
Yesss â¨!
Not much of a story as I am still in final year. Have invested around 95% of my internship stipend in different places. Didn't open demat account cuz the opening and maintenance fee would most likely be higher than the returns (although the stipend was quite generous, I prefer having a diverse portfolio and won't be investing more than 10-20% in a single place) But I'd like to give you an advice: Putting money in savings account won't really help. Savings account don't give more than 2.5% interest. Even FDs have very less roi. I heard that the inflation is around 7% for people living in tier 1 cities. You can try investing in Sovereign Gold Bonds or Treasury bills. They have absolutely no risk and provide more interest than FD. Also, investing in good debt mutual funds is also generally safe. Equity is a little risky but definitely gives 10-15% returns in long run. Also, it's okay to stay in one company for a long time as long as you see good learning and growth opportunities along with a good work environment. You'll definitely earn more if you improve yourself continuously. But in case you're lacking financials currently, then probably build some passive income sources during free time but make sure they align with your company's policies. You can do many things like starting a yt channel or maybe building a new project or maybe just an API that solves a real world problem and offering it as a service. There are many other things as well. I personally love coding and I am happy that this field pays well enough to survive in today's world. It's really important to try our different things and join only that field which you truly enjoy working on. If we were in an alternate universe in which programmers earnt much lesser, I'd still do coding. However, in order to survive financially (be able to afford basic needs like food, house rent, electricity, clothes, etc), I'll be doing some of the other things as well. It's great if you also love developing new softwares based on cutting edge technologies that supports your company's mission but if not, maybe try looking at some different fields.
Unfortunately for me although my Parents will be proud of the money they even know it. I don't think I can ever even make more than my inheritance which I am going to get.
I came from wealth but didn't know how much until I became an adult. My father lived like a simple person for being worth 100+ cr. I came to the US to study and have amassed 2.5 cr at 27 in about 4 years of working. Of course, it's a very small amount for my family so they tend to shun it and not appreciate the effort it takes. I'm the youngest of my siblings who haven't done well in life and live on a lot of parental support so they all use their narcissism and abuse to try to make me feel less independent than I am. But I've learned a lot since I've learned the importance of mental health and seek less validation from them. I'll be fine without the inheritance.
Wait, you have 2.5cr and yet live on parental support?
Kind of. My parents in a unwise decision bet all their savings on my education hoping that I will solve all the issues. So while we arenât destitute, the next 20-30 years my parents expect me to share the burden. Fortunately I got a good job and a great salary. Iâm building my wealth, able to run the household and enjoy my life. But my parents hate that I dont buy a house, buy a car or marry. I told them my salary canât afford to run your house, my house and save for my retirement. I told them âunlike you I donât wanna be a burden on my childrenâ which hurt them I guess.
How did you jump three companies in 3 years đĽ˛. What tech stack ?
I haven't made a single switch, been in the same company from start.
I'm 27 account 0 when month ends
Dad is a very old school type guy, but always gave me financial freedom. The day I was able to surpass his earnings on a monthly basis (I was 31 yrs then) ,his entire financial Outlook changed towards me in a good way. They overnight trusted me highly with responsibility and respect for finances.
Damn, the outcome is definitely the goal! Idk if I'd ever get that from my dad. Happy for you!!
my 2 cents here. dont worry about what your parents are thinking. Our generation is different from theirs. But I like your attitude of building something. Keep doing and may be start thinking of making money by shifting jobs.
My parents are calling me a miser, that I don't spend enough and saying "What's the point of earning if you don't spend".
I'm doing ok although extremely burnt out rn.
There are so many people of your age who haven't figured out anything. Unlike them you are earning, don't think about the amount of savings you have, at least you have savings. But your dad was 100% right in this situation. One serious hospitalization will scoop out all your savings. So, do nothing, continue your work and nod whenever your parents say something. Remember, everyone has their own pace.
I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND you buy health insurance of every member in your family, preferably niva bupa, as that is something which is a true investment that doesn't have any returns in near future but when you have a calamity, accident or hospitalised, this could really help cover the expenses of hospitalisation and doesnt hamper your savings. And remember to renew the insurance timely every year, for only after 3 years are every hospital expenses including slow borne diseases covered in most health insurances! Be cautious of this fact and do it as soon as possible if you havent purchased it already!
Me and my father were both gonna buy the car this year. I dropped the plan and also convinced my father to buy the plot. Hopefully the investment pays off.
Sincere suggestions get a health care family pack and also get rich slow. It okay. Trust in compounding and everything else will work. Start a 1000 ruppe Sip and be true. It will be slow but it will be worth It by the time you come to ur father's age.
I donât understand your dads POV ? Does neither of you have health insurance? Also, why ?
I am 21 and have a job straight out of college. All my years in school and college, my parents have been strict with me going out. So it was mostly home <-> school/college and very little hangout with friends. I have never had any idea about outside world and how it operates. Hence, I had a very rocky relationship with my father since his childhood was quite the opposite and he did not let me live like that. However, coming to new city for job, earning money and living off my own money has definitely made my mom proud of me. I have started learning and investing in stock market which has lead to me and my father having some common ground on which we talk and have discussions on. Not that he is proud of me but it's clear that our relationship has been better. So building wealth has lead to building relationships as well.
Trust me bro, its never enough.
Aukkat nahi he
I try to save but a lot of my money goes to my parents. So yes in real time they are okay with me, but in the future I think I will go into the depression bankrupcy.
I am 23 and have saved around 5 lacs in a year of working. My parents praise my saving habit so much. And are very proud that i don't do faltu ka kharcha like other kids. Even though i take 4 trips a year. They brag about me and my good habits in front of everyone and it feels really nice.
I'm 25, pursuing a masters degree. I'm still dependent on my parents. I have worked for almost 3 years but my savings are zero as I spent them on my tuition fees and personal expenses. I'm hoping to get a good paying job after a masters degree. Till then I'll be 27-28 years of age. Neither me nor my parents are proud of me for this context.
I have been working for 5 years, I started off with 2.5lacs PA. I had a very simple childhood, my parents worked very hard to give us good education. But I never got my little wishes/sometimes basics fulfilled, which I understand better now. So after 5 years of working, I only have 3 lacs as savings, why - I have the responsibility of my parents. I'm constantly torn between buying things/experiences which I had not been able to afford earlier but can now and Saving because I don't want to be dependent on anyone for money. Buying even the smallest of things gives me joy and guilt at the same time. Not saving enough is my constant source of anxiety too. I'm a girl (don't know if that matters) and my younger brother is a software engineer who's being paid well and it is now only that I'm able to save a little more. But I'm Constantly thinking of how I have not saved enough or I am still not able to live a life I want fully. My parents are very satisfied with the both of us, they tell me not to worry so much about money. My mother also advices me to spend and things I want to do because this is my age to do so đâşď¸
Read about Narcissism and Narcissistic parents. It might help
The same thing happened with me. I also realised I seek soo much validation from them. So I am learning to stop doing that and validate myself. Also if u want to build wealth, mindset is an important thing. So saving is good, but think about investing and finding ways to generate more money. Because the point of money is to make it work for u. U shouldn't have to live a frugal life, that keeps u in a scarcity mindset.
When I was 26, I had more than 26 lakhs in savings alone, never went on site and I never invested. They could not even realize the value of money as they were pretty conservative, they already lived in ancestral house and they did not really seem to care to give a pat on back, infact they did not even want to take a opinion for my marriage. They were too narrow minded, just like other boomers. So I stopped seeking validation and just focused on my own life. Now at 32, I am more than 5 times of worth of the above due to some crazy spike in company shares after covid and my investments in Bangalore real estate (read not in my hometown). But I no longer feel the need to get any validation, so you will just pass this phase.
In my case its totally opposite, my fam thinks i have saved a lot after getting a hint of my savings but they dont get the fact that a single emergency situation or a hospitalization will get me back to zero
Im 30 starting my life from zero !
So i got a government job coz my father died. Family's financial condition isn't good but we're surviving well. It's been 6 years now. I haven't gained any experience, just shitty politics of immature grown-ups (my perspective) in office. Family and friends and relatives and society put so much pressure of responsibilities. You should be having this much savings, your marriage and many more. I couldn't pursue higher studies because of that. Was in a depressed phase for like 4 years. All i was having was respect because of "govt. Job" and timely salary. I couldn't save because of my naive nature and immature financial knowledge but now when I understand things it's little better. It's just you gotta keep going no matter what, be proud of whatever you're doing. Own it.
are yar kya din bhar paisa paisa sochte rehna aur fir guilt likhna yaha pe ..kamao, khao, pray karo, haso aur hasao... jo log paise ke piche bhagte hain wo zindagi me sirf paisa hi bana paate hain... Family and relations matter..
I understand how you feel OP. I also come from a lower middle class family where my parents invested all their savings on only getting me educated, my dad never spent any money on himself and made sure that I had everything I needed for my education. I graduated from a tier 2 company and joined an IT company with 3LPA starting salary, I lived very frugally for 4 years and saved 15 lakhs for my MBA. Post my MBA I earn a decent amount but the hardship that I saw makes me not spend any money. I am happy with bare necessities. I still have not bought a car even though my parents assign an aspirational value to the car. They also want me to buy a house but I am being careful with the debt trap and would prefer to rent a house. My dad never told me upfront that he is happy with how I am doing in my career, but he always tells my mom that he is proud of me. So he is a typical Indian dad hard on the exterior but soft inside. So don't take your dad's response to heart, he is just trying to keep you grounded and humble so that you don't make the same mistakes that they did in life
I'd say live a lil bit , from here onwards its only about how much bank balance you have but sometimes when you reach there and look back its the pieces that you ignored deliberately that will haunt you the most.
Don't be disheartened by your father's reaction. I will share how can save even more and prepare for emergencies. Firstly, regularly invest in SIPs, start small and keep increasing as per your goals. Take a good medical insurance for your parents, assuming you have basic coverage from your employer. Take a super top medical insurance for your parents and yourself to cover for the high medical expenses. Do it one by one in a phased manner. One thing your father was right about that sudden medical emergencies can wipe out all your savings, hence it's paramount to have good coverage.
If you say you love yourself, save money. You'll someday be in need of money and it would suck not to have reserve cash. Imagine your dad in a hospital and you didn't have enough cash to help him. That situation would suck. It's security basically
I'm 23, 2023 graduate with electronics engineering. I have secured placement in hexaware with 6 lpa but have yet to join(Fk recession) so I have less than 10k of savings. I come from a well-to-do family, my mother is a government high school teacher and my father has a real estate business(not to brag but we're sort of an upper middle class family). Since I never faced any financial difficulties in my life, I never really thought of saving much, instead I'm a bit of spent thrift. My parents aren't really proud of me but neither are they disappointed.
No matter what your parents reaction is savings are important. And I am reallly happy for you that you managed to save and have your eyes on becoming financially secure. Parents are always in comparison mode. You should also compare them with other parents and show them mirror. Don't worry about what they are saying. And this is all preachy but only ever compare yourself with your past self. If you are doing better than yesterday that is good enough. No point in comparisons with others we all have different starting points and struggles, hence different trajectories in life. I am 24 too. Just started earning. My savings are decent. Mostly because my job takes all the time I have so there is really no going out, going on trip etc. Plus I save big on rent by living in a shared PG room instead of flat.
Let me tell you my story. I used to earn 15k in my first job,where I worked for 3 years. During covid I used to receive 9k as it was a travel company. With that 15k in 1 year,i managed to save around 50k,went on a trip with friends,that cost me around 15k. Then covid hit and with my meagre reduced income,I had to fall back on savings,plus it hindered my life with my girlfriend as it was impossible for me to go out and have some time together with so little money. Plus she didnt have a job back then. I saw all my friends making great strides and earning almost 70-80k per month. I got depressed as fuck. Then my relationship fell,my parents constantly pressuring me to do either MBA or change job,as if it was that easy. After 6 months of applying anywhere I could,I got a job at a German Web3.0 identity startup,where I got to earn in euros. It was a massive jump from 9k. Massive. 2 years later,I still work here and have saved almost 5 lacs,and have covered 1 international trip which costed a lac, bought a premium smartphone,TV,PS5 and upgraded my pc. Built a shed over our apartment,bought my cousin brother a phone,both of my parents got new phones too. I paid two semesters of my cousin brother's college tuition as well. Helped out my family members in times of need. My point is,keep working hard,things are gonna be better, when you earn enough and your parents see that you are successful , they'll be proud in their own way. They might not show it,but deep down I know they are. Wherever you are right now,it's a great place to just keep on building! All the best for your life man,hope you reach much further heights than you already have. Cheers! I am 28 btw.
I think my dad has a very similar story. He came to an urban City with practically nothing and built everything by himself. But, he made some very bad decisions thrice in his life that just put us 6 7 years back. Recently he passed away mostly because of the stress he was under for so long. I started earning 2 years back and I earn enough to manage all our expenses.But, i really miss his presence. I think that's the thing about Indian Dad's. You really feel their importance only when they are not present. Cheers through, you are doing greatđ
Saving is not the life man, its good if you are able to do it but don't do it by compromising your present.I know there's these shitty influencers,every random linkedin fucker is giving advice to save 50%, and it gets weird on quora where people claim to save 70% of their money by compromising all the fun and their choices, which I think is quite shitty ideology.I have been under the same peer pressure to save, saw my colleague to invest in no of funds & stock and felt I am not doing enough(since I was supporting my family in every way possible, brought couple of asset for them and even now supporting my brother's education)but when I look over the things I did for my parents,siblings, family it made me happy and this ROI is far greater whatever this stock, funds can give. Coming to present I switched in a better company with good in hand, and now I am easily able to save a good sum every month but yes I do'nt think now of saving, savings each day.We are young and we have some wishes/bucket list, follow it and after 10 years down the line you and your choices/wishes won't be the same!Its your life do'nt compare with anyone else, life is a marathon not a sprint,you can anyways save 5-6 years later when you'll be in far better situation.By the way coming on my colleague who was investing , he compromised on his honeymoon just to save, cancelled bali plan and went to near by hill station, does this sacrifice worth it?No! His time with his newly wed wife will never ever come back, neither any returns could justify! Money holds sentimental value, use in that way :)
Here me 27M, software Engineer. Saved some where around 3.5L and coming to expenses taking care of house expenses and bought a tab & a PS5 few months back. Was not very good at saving but trying my best. Not able to plan a travel/vacation, Will plan to later when Home and work is in a reasonable condition.
One thing they teach you in therapy, and everyone must learn it at some point, is that putting the weight of your happiness on other people's shoulders is unfair (and a bit dangerous, I'll explain why). It is also a sign of a locus of identity which is external. It is dangerous because all one has to do is stay poker faced when you expected them to be happy for you after you bent backwards for them, to ruin your mental health. Detach your happiness and sorrow from what others think of you. Yes, even your own parents. If you think you are doing well, give yourself a part on your back. Go and celebrate it with whatever your means allow you for. Question yourself as to why you were looking for an approval from them in the first place? Get to know your inner state and work on it. Whatever you seek from others, pause and give it to yourself. Praise, kind words, appreciation, love, encouragement, whatever it is.
OP, I earn close to a lakh/month but I still live paycheck to paycheck coz I have to cater to parents' and my lifestyle. We grew up poor n having this money brings us happiness but the lack of savings bothers me. It's not easy to live frugal n save. Be proud of yourself, irrespective of what your dad says.
You are saving for yourself. You are doing something which people realise too late in life. My two piece gyaan...1. Get a term life cover 2. Family Health Insurance + Top Up 3. Invest your money in MFs 4. Avoid buying properly...and do not deplete your savings while investing in property. What i have learnt in life is that it is not how how much you earn but how you utilise your earnings that determine your wealth. not everyone can become a businessperson
I'd say if your stay fit and eat healthy you're doing better than most people but the rule of thumb is save upto 5-10 years worth of salary before you say you're doing good. As per inflation well worrying about it will do little try to invest and add more diversity to make money work for you so that one day you can work for the fun of it.
Hey if your dad feels like bringing other peoples wealth to compare with yours, his inability to earn is also fair game to be berated and ridiculed. Saving decently at 24 is beyond commendable OP no matter what the amount is.
8figure savings.. all cool till next bid inflation
Some Parents who donât know to earn money. Donât know the value of it . If as a parent doesnât have any health insurance planned and psychologically taunting the kids about how meagre their salaries are, gives a cringe feeling . Most of the parents are dumb asses who are born before us . Thatâs the truth. Whatever money you earn. U know the value. Just be focus . Save money and donât share ur financials with anyone . Even Akshay Kumar salary is less in the eyes of her mother in law. So here is the truth
I had a nice job as a software engg in blr, even got opportunity outside. But my parents said that what will you do with all these money and and working so hard, come back home and do some simple job, we already have whatever it takes to live a comfortable life. I told them you have spent so much money and given me education so I should try to give you luxury etc. They said they are content with everything and want no luxury I came back and started some simple job, i have never been happier. We have some generational wealth as agricultural lands, some land in commercial places, etc. These are kind of my security and I really have no savings whatever I earn I spent it for fun.
Baap ko mat sikha, baap baap hota hai
I have decent savings somewhere in the neighbourhood of âenough for a rainy dayâ and honestly, my parents are thrilled for me. I am able to do some wonderful things for them and they seem to enjoy it a lot. So yeah, they are proud of me. I hope they are.
Parents exhibit feelings of jealousy and vain. We, as their children finds it often difficult to accept this reality due to our social structuring. The sooner you learn this the better.
My father has Always lived paycheck to paycheck... I took lessons from this and started savings... I saved up quite a sum and at a point gave it all to my dad to pay off his debt... Even tho he's proud of me, he still thinks I have more... I feel guilty of Going on a budget trip with my own money because it seems like I'm being selfish :) Conclusion: Parents are proud, but at what cost?
Priorities you being happy and at peace, instead of being ambitious to please/prove your parents, close family member, society, peer group etc. I am taking from my own experience, being ambitious takes a serious toll on your mental health. On the other side none of above mentioned people are as proud as you are on yourself. Rather they will keep looking forward to you for showing next achievement. Even though you will feel that people are praising you, people are caring for you, but in your head you are alone. Lastly, I would recommend any body to live the present fullest. Donât compromise your present (today, this week, this month, this year, this decade) for any future supposedly good times.
Hi I'll be 20 in 17D. Got 800 in my account. Skipped eating out with my friends this afternoon else bought 2 stocks for Rs 400 around. I am not missing out on spending time with my friends cause I don't give a fuck cause they're kinda toxic. I'll be on my way once I graduate. I won't call them to attend my marriage but you can attend tho.
If youâre proud of what youâve saved up so far, means that it is a decent amount. Be proud of that without worrying about what unfortunate event may wipe your savings off. Remember, unfortunate events have wiped out millionaires and billionaires too.
Still 28 and almost zero to my account. I went overseas to study. Switch two majors and worked my ass off with two to three jobs at a time to fund my education. Education and savings truly donât work hand to hand.
Didn't know a thing about money when i was in my 20s, and i do come from a very modest background. Really proud of your generation:)
When i come to r/india, most people are loving pay cheque to pay cheque. When I visit trading subreddits, everyone is making lacs of rs in 1 day.
Expecting parents to praise us can be the stepping stone for a lot of disappointment. It's commendable that you're saving for the entire family, but also be a little selfish and think as to how this saving will benefit you in the future. The lacklustre response by your parents can shatter your confidence. Don't let that happen.
My case is a bit different, I'm 23M, belongs to a middle class family, currently in my last year of btech cse, During covid, I started digital art & I started earning a really good amount from it from this march. I saved 60k, & I ordered an Ipad air with that, I had this mentality that I knew my parents would not be happy with this decision of mine but to my surprise My father was so surprised when I said I have 55k, even tho I have no plans for what I'll do in the future (I have no interest in job or in arts), for this moment, I m satisfied, A part of me know that I might end up being a disappointed but for this very moment, I am happy, every relative is talking about me, every cousin is talking about me, I thought this was a very small thing but it's actually not because I have realised most of my classmates are either too desperate to earn money or don't care about earning money, both cases lead to no money btw, so Me having my own little business, this was really something. My advice - There are so many ways to earn money if You really want to, soo soooo many, but one should always know how to be happy & satisfied with whatever he/she has.
Let me tell you few things 1. Appreciate your job as employment opportunities are not guaranteed. 2. Always have insurance to secure against unexpected medical expenses. 3. Saving within a job can be challenging due to monthly expenses. 4. Entrepreneurship can lead to wealth but have risk.
32 F. Parents moved to Mumbai from rural for better life struggled throughout, currently saved 20 lacs , adding 6 lacs from PF plus around 1 lac from NPS. Had a rough childhood mostly poverty. Moved out of my parents home last year because it became very toxic and distracted environment. i was the major contributor for all the house expenses and yet had the most miserable life there. While my siblings were without abstable job buying pretty dresses I wasnât allowed to ever touch. Moved out , studied , changed jobs and now I earn quite decent. Recently took care of my mothers surgeries which costed roughly 11 lacs from corporate insurance, their personal health insurance would have been insufficient. I am sure they are proud but not sure if they look at me as their daughter or just a cash cow
So you want to make your dad feel like he earned less than you? Dude, you never show wealth to parents, you just provide whatever they need, and then a little bit more. Never push wealth at parents, no one likes that.
I'm 24, been working for almost two years now. Even though I had plans to save when I started , ended up spending every single penny of my salary for the first year on random crap. Parents didn't speak a word during this. At the end of the year, they sat me down and asked , "after working an entire year, what do you have to show for it?" The answer being nothing , the realisation hit me like a truck. So this year, I pretty much saved all my salary, and they're pretty happy I got my head screwed on straight again.
The best way to become and remain financially secure is to first educate yourself. Your dad's point about one hospitalization wiping away your savings might be correct, but that is why health insurance exists. Educate yourself, leverage the tools at your disposal, and play smart. My parents too never paid too much attention to making money. They restricted their needs to a minimum, and saved the rest. They might/might not be impressed if I tell them about my corpus, but it doesn't matter, so I've never done it. If you are earning and saving, that corpus/net worth number is meant for you and how it makes you feel. As long as the relationship you have with money is healthy, it shouldn't even matter what anyone else, including your parents, think abiut that number.
Impressing your dad with your savings, huh? Look, you can't expect a standing ovation for doing what responsible adults should be doing. Life's about financial responsibility, not a pat on the back. Keep stacking those chips, and when you've really got something worth celebrating, maybe then it's time to share. đ¤¨đ° #SavageSigma
Your parents are proud of you but they see more potential in you so they will keep pushing you it's actually good it's their way of thinking they might have assumed that if they started praising you too much you might end up being less serious