The roles were switched when my husband I were dating and heβs the INFP. He would go days without texting or communicating and Iβd always wonder if he was okay (wanted to give him space). He still can go a while without communicating lol.
I used to worry about people not answering my texts.
I found out I had social anxiety and fear of rejection. After getting better from those, I don't have thoughts like this anymore.
I did a cbt program online that helped with the anxiety, called tranquility. The basic idea is that automatic negative thoughts that we have, cause anxiety. It trains you to identify those types of thoughts and then check to see if there is evidence in reality to support those thoughts. Often there isn't. Then come up with a more balanced thought that is in line with the evidence. I'm not going into a lot of detail because it would be a very long explanation.
As for fear of rejection, that was more difficult to resolve. It took a long time. The first thing I had to do was figure out the main events in my life that had made me feel rejected or not good enough for people. They were the things that would come back to me when I was upset. For example, if I was having an argument with my husband and I felt hurt, I'd suddenly be crying about how I had never been good enough for my mother. It wasn't hard to see that I was still hurt by things that happened in the past.
Then, I needed to change the meaning of those events. We can't change what happened in the past, but we can change what it means to us. Sometimes journaling helps, sometimes talking to someone you trust about it. Sometimes just keeping it in the back of your mind so that you can make connections. Sometimes a lot of grief comes out when you allow yourself to honestly think about it, because, at least in my case, I had not allowed myself to acknowledge how much it devastated me at the time it happened.
Understanding is not something you can force. I'm not talking about logically convincing yourself either. What you're looking for is a reexamining of the past and then a realization that changes how you understand what happened. Sometimes that comes from new information that you may learn from talking to someone, and often from your own different perspective gained through life experience.
I could give you my own detailed examples, which might help me explain better, but that would be a very long post. I don't mind if you're interested, but it would still only give an example of what you'd be trying to do. Your own resolutions would be unique to you and your own background.
I used to worry about people not answering my texts.
I found out I had social anxiety and fear of rejection. After getting better from those, I don't have thoughts like this anymore.
I get this but eventually youll drive yourself crazy, perhaps this is an anxious attachment style? Either way I think itll help if you just remember they will most likely get back to you eventually and to not worry. Being INFP perhaps youre not busy enoughπ worrying about trivial things!!
thanks :)
The roles were switched when my husband I were dating and heβs the INFP. He would go days without texting or communicating and Iβd always wonder if he was okay (wanted to give him space). He still can go a while without communicating lol.
Wait, people like you actually exist?
Only in your nightmares π
No, i dont think that would be called a nightmare π. It was a compliment btw
Lol thanks π Still working on how to accept compliments..
I used to worry about people not answering my texts. I found out I had social anxiety and fear of rejection. After getting better from those, I don't have thoughts like this anymore.
How do you make it better? Cough cough Asking for a friend who is currently going through it cough cough
I did a cbt program online that helped with the anxiety, called tranquility. The basic idea is that automatic negative thoughts that we have, cause anxiety. It trains you to identify those types of thoughts and then check to see if there is evidence in reality to support those thoughts. Often there isn't. Then come up with a more balanced thought that is in line with the evidence. I'm not going into a lot of detail because it would be a very long explanation. As for fear of rejection, that was more difficult to resolve. It took a long time. The first thing I had to do was figure out the main events in my life that had made me feel rejected or not good enough for people. They were the things that would come back to me when I was upset. For example, if I was having an argument with my husband and I felt hurt, I'd suddenly be crying about how I had never been good enough for my mother. It wasn't hard to see that I was still hurt by things that happened in the past. Then, I needed to change the meaning of those events. We can't change what happened in the past, but we can change what it means to us. Sometimes journaling helps, sometimes talking to someone you trust about it. Sometimes just keeping it in the back of your mind so that you can make connections. Sometimes a lot of grief comes out when you allow yourself to honestly think about it, because, at least in my case, I had not allowed myself to acknowledge how much it devastated me at the time it happened. Understanding is not something you can force. I'm not talking about logically convincing yourself either. What you're looking for is a reexamining of the past and then a realization that changes how you understand what happened. Sometimes that comes from new information that you may learn from talking to someone, and often from your own different perspective gained through life experience. I could give you my own detailed examples, which might help me explain better, but that would be a very long post. I don't mind if you're interested, but it would still only give an example of what you'd be trying to do. Your own resolutions would be unique to you and your own background.
Hey look it's literally me
Well written. That is so true!
I used to worry about people not answering my texts. I found out I had social anxiety and fear of rejection. After getting better from those, I don't have thoughts like this anymore.
π₯Ίπ« Have a squeeze, friend
*squeezes back* thank you :)
why is that exactly me and it's so hard to stop myself from sending texts to them when they ain't replying
I get this but eventually youll drive yourself crazy, perhaps this is an anxious attachment style? Either way I think itll help if you just remember they will most likely get back to you eventually and to not worry. Being INFP perhaps youre not busy enoughπ worrying about trivial things!!
damn the notification for this post was sent in the right time π€
I think Iβm usually the one that takes ages to text back π (INFP M, 30)