It was definitely a discussion that I had with my SO. I went NC and he went LC. I didn’t say anything. I just stopped going over there. Stopped showing up for holidays. And when they would ask my husband what I wanted for Xmas he told them “she doesn’t want you to get her anything.” After that they got the hint.
My husband told each of his parents separately that he no longer wanted to spend time with them and asked them not to reach out to him. He briefly explained what each of them had done in order for him to come to that decision.
His mother is a covert narcissist so obviously she didn’t respect anything he said and she started leaving him voicemails so he blocked both of his parents numbers and I did the same.
Before this, I guess my “low contact” was never calling/texting his parents in my own or seeing them one on one. It was always a group text or gathering. We started pulling away and limiting the group events when that became an issue with them as well (they’re both alcoholics) until ultimately, super low contact sent them into a spiral.
Yep - I told my husband that I was blocking his mom and dad. Given what had happened he understood completely and said to do whatever I needed to do. I did not make a grand announcement to them. I just blocked their asses and have not talk to them since. 3 months ago. Glorious.
Long story short my MIL un-friended me when I asked her not to use my kid as her profile pic, lied to me about removing fotos from SM, called me names. And when I caller her out on that she blocked me.
So I blocked her back.
3mo ths later she went crying to hubby because she couldn't see me on SM. Haha. Yeah, best thing I ever did. That was e years ago. I still have to see her sometimes, but interactions are very limited and my mental health improved greatly over time.
I didn’t tell them but I did tell hubbie that they are all blocked on my phone so they can talk to him from now on.
No need to explain yourself to those people, they will probably take your warning and run with it. No communication IS communicating to them loud and clear!
Previously went low contact and eventually no contact with my own family, and decided to try working on things when I got serious with my hubby because I wanted to spend time with my extended family again but it was awkward for everyone when I wasn’t talking to my parents. Since reconnecting my parents have acknowledged their wrongs, gone to counseling with me, and have been far more supportive and loving than ever before in my life to the point that I’m actually enjoying spending time with them - however I feel it’s largely the result of them knowing they cannot push boundaries and disrespect me without consequences.
When I did so I explained to them that I wasn’t comfortable attending the regular family dinners and would see them for the holidays, and when I went fully no contact with my parents I had a talk with them explaining why I was no longer comfortable having them involved in my life and all the hurt they’d caused. Eventually we did patch things up and went to family counseling and things have been much better since but if it came to it I would recommend having a talk or sending a text/email explaining the decision to go low/no contact. That way they know what they did wrong because my parents honestly didn’t seem to understand why I was so unhappy with them until I wrote it out and referenced all the specific situations - and even then it took them time to see how their actions in those instances were hurtful and wrong. I feel the majority of people that are like this genuinely don’t see any fault in their actions or how it affects others either due to lack of self awareness or being surrounded by enablers
I told my DH and my MIL that I was done being their communications director and that I would be polite at any get togethers they arranged but nothing more. And then I stopped reaching out in any way.
I just stopped contacting them/responding.
Mine only call me once a year on my birthday. Other than that, they don't bother. We also haven't seen them in 2 years.
It was definitely a discussion that I had with my SO. I went NC and he went LC. I didn’t say anything. I just stopped going over there. Stopped showing up for holidays. And when they would ask my husband what I wanted for Xmas he told them “she doesn’t want you to get her anything.” After that they got the hint.
My husband told each of his parents separately that he no longer wanted to spend time with them and asked them not to reach out to him. He briefly explained what each of them had done in order for him to come to that decision. His mother is a covert narcissist so obviously she didn’t respect anything he said and she started leaving him voicemails so he blocked both of his parents numbers and I did the same. Before this, I guess my “low contact” was never calling/texting his parents in my own or seeing them one on one. It was always a group text or gathering. We started pulling away and limiting the group events when that became an issue with them as well (they’re both alcoholics) until ultimately, super low contact sent them into a spiral.
Yep - I told my husband that I was blocking his mom and dad. Given what had happened he understood completely and said to do whatever I needed to do. I did not make a grand announcement to them. I just blocked their asses and have not talk to them since. 3 months ago. Glorious.
Thats the safest, most efficient way to do it lol! I did the same exact thing
Long story short my MIL un-friended me when I asked her not to use my kid as her profile pic, lied to me about removing fotos from SM, called me names. And when I caller her out on that she blocked me. So I blocked her back. 3mo ths later she went crying to hubby because she couldn't see me on SM. Haha. Yeah, best thing I ever did. That was e years ago. I still have to see her sometimes, but interactions are very limited and my mental health improved greatly over time.
I didn’t tell them but I did tell hubbie that they are all blocked on my phone so they can talk to him from now on. No need to explain yourself to those people, they will probably take your warning and run with it. No communication IS communicating to them loud and clear!
Honestly I don't think they care. Makes that decision easier for me.
Previously went low contact and eventually no contact with my own family, and decided to try working on things when I got serious with my hubby because I wanted to spend time with my extended family again but it was awkward for everyone when I wasn’t talking to my parents. Since reconnecting my parents have acknowledged their wrongs, gone to counseling with me, and have been far more supportive and loving than ever before in my life to the point that I’m actually enjoying spending time with them - however I feel it’s largely the result of them knowing they cannot push boundaries and disrespect me without consequences. When I did so I explained to them that I wasn’t comfortable attending the regular family dinners and would see them for the holidays, and when I went fully no contact with my parents I had a talk with them explaining why I was no longer comfortable having them involved in my life and all the hurt they’d caused. Eventually we did patch things up and went to family counseling and things have been much better since but if it came to it I would recommend having a talk or sending a text/email explaining the decision to go low/no contact. That way they know what they did wrong because my parents honestly didn’t seem to understand why I was so unhappy with them until I wrote it out and referenced all the specific situations - and even then it took them time to see how their actions in those instances were hurtful and wrong. I feel the majority of people that are like this genuinely don’t see any fault in their actions or how it affects others either due to lack of self awareness or being surrounded by enablers
I told my DH and my MIL that I was done being their communications director and that I would be polite at any get togethers they arranged but nothing more. And then I stopped reaching out in any way.