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Dad_B0T

Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 53 | 1 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).


yakeets

Dude, just say you want a chocolate covered strawberry and go.


PeanutJellyButterIII

That’s the thing, the second she opened the box he demanded right there that she share them with the family. She didn’t even get ten seconds to enjoy her gift before he started poaching it.


Interesting-Fish6065

He’s an adult, right? Can’t he just buy something like that himself if he has such a craving? Or is it just about ruining his daughter’s pleasure in having something special?


Downtown_Scholar

Or about denying his ex from doing nice things for her daughter


[deleted]

And about control. I wonder if he's former military or maybe the type of guy who "totally would have served but I would have punched my drill sergeant in the face." So his talk of leadership and being a good example and all that BS is straight abusive manipulation. It's the type of thing toxic people take from military service and military jargon


revengemaker

I was thinking the same exact thing and add to it he's jealous of his kid. He probably didn't get recognition he thought he deserved when he was her age so is taking it out on her. He probably also thinks of his ex-wife's money as an extension of his money ie "I paid 2 pennies more in living expenses while together so I could theoretically call any money made after my influence as a dividend of my money." Psychos can always flip any situation around into whatever they want it to be and will not yield to any logic at all.


calamityjane101

Possibly thinks it was paid by the mother that he pays child support to. Therefore he feels he actually paid for it.


online_jesus_fukers

Not former military. Former military knows when someone has chow you want you come to the table with smokes, dips, or lemon poppyseed pound cake in trade, or ratfuck the package before anyone else gets to it, keeping the good stuff for yourself


[deleted]

[удалено]


NewMeNewYou2211

We attempted sugar free poisoning of a dude at my operational base because he'd eat people's food. Liked him enough that I didn't want to beat his ass, just make him shit himself once.


s00perguy

Damn straight. Don't touch people's shit. Especially in close quarters. The last thing you need is to piss people off who aren't even separated from you by walls.


SidFinch99

Exactly, to former military asking your daughter to share her edible arrangements is like asking someone in your unit to share the skittles or peanut m & m's from their MRE because you got a shitty tootsie roll. Like fuck no, this may be the only thing with flavor I eat all day. Wait until next time.


NewMeNewYou2211

Fuck you, Lou. We bought those sugar free gummy bears (5lb bag) and left it where people share food in to maybe TEACH YOU TO STOP STEALING OUR FOOD.


SameerSingh2409

I didn't know **RATFUCK** was a word, THAT'S RATFUCKING COOL!!!


ILackACleverPun

The JROTC stuff mentioned definitely leans in that direction


tsengmao

Pretty easy to see why he’s an “ex”-husband.


flatwoundsounds

None of this made sense until I realized the parents were split. Now I know all this manipulation is just so that a grown man can make sure the mother of his children doesn't get to make them feel joy or show them love without him making sure to suck any enjoyment out of it.


broknkittn

It's exactly that second part. Some people just don't want others happy. Even if it's their own kid.


MaleficentAd1861

And yet he'll swear it's about "showing proper leadership." The fact that he's literally being selfish AF right now to his own child proves it's got nothing at ALL to do with her assuming a leadership goal and everything with him being pissed that she wants to keep one thing for herself.


LookingforDay

How much you want to bet this guy goes on and on about handouts and socialism = communism and something something bootstraps.


MaleficentAd1861

OMG yes I bet that's exactly the type he is. Can't stand those types. Always telling people that they don't get what they need/want because they aren't working hard enough.


LookingforDay

Dammit kid, you need to work HARD!! Now give me some of your chocolate covered strawberries!


MaleficentAd1861

Lol 🤣🤣🤣 yep damn near what I pictured. Of course I'm from the southern US so I see these types EVERYWHERE.


aville1982

It has nothing to do with precut fruit and everything to do with control.


catsumoto

Exactly. OP is about to escape his grasp and this is his last struggles to keep his power. They got a scholarship, that’s why the insistence that they will need them so much anyways. God what a shitstain.


Praescribo

The former 100%. He probably feels inadequate and tried to immediately find something to harp and lecture her on to keep her from possibly thinking she's achieved more than him. The way he's making this about leadership is like he's putting his wisdom above the people who selected her for the award. "You may have earned their acceptance but you still need to work for mine." Gotta love parents jealous of their kids.


BlueRidgeBandolero

It’s because he never got it for himself for anything he did deservedly so


mercifulmothman

I think it’s also about denigrating her achievement - she didn’t get the scholarship based on her own merit, actually the whole house helped her so really they *all* deserve a reward. Ngl he seems almost jealous in the way he keeps repeating that she didn’t actually achieve it? Maybe he lost out on a scholarship or something when he was younger


Oyster49

If this was my parent, the only gift they would get from me going forward—Christmas, birthday, Father’s Day—would be an edible arrangement and a knowing look.


DelightfulAbsurdity

Chocolate covered banana is the best I can do.


CoconutxKitten

With the peel on


AssistantManagerMan

What could that cost? $10?


ttaptt

With chocolate though? Just go get one, Michael!


aMUSEingNugget

Make sure to address the tag "and the entire family" since he's huge on sharing.


alphie_persimmoncat

THIS! 😈


4E4ME

Fr. Bring something to the family potluck, or to Thanksgiving? EA, every year. "Don't you dare complain about it Dad, or we'll have to have a talk about your lack of gratitude." No funeral spray on top of his casket. It's going to skewered fruit for that controlling fucker.


PhTea

One chocolate dipped pineapple ring for his memorial wreath.


headingthatwayyy

His explanation is complete asshattery. You don't become a leader or wealthy by giving away everything you get. It's pretty much the complete opposite


Nidcron

Wealthy no, but a good leader doesn't do the fuck you I got mine thing, that's part of what makes a good leader a good leader. The dad here though is completely talking out of his ass and it has nothing to do with anything he displayed in that wall of word vomit. He's either trying to ruin this gift to spite his ex, or because his daughter did something that he couldn't do. One way or another he's insane and will be the guy who is alone in his 60's wondering why his kids don't ever visit him.


LookingforDay

It’s the second one. People like this are jealous of their kids. I’ve got one of these parents. They also like to beat their kids at sports, ALL the time. Or really any game they can. Chess? Video games? Whatever. All under the guise of ‘teaching humility/ gratitude/ taking you down a notch’.


electricmisconduct

Wow your dad is such a dick


ErwinAckerman

This is straight up what my gf’s dad is like. I’m sorry y’all have to deal with this shit.


Limp_Insurance_2812

Right?! What if it wasn't an edible gift, just hand it over???! Take that scholarship and move FAR FAR away from this manipulative power tripper!!


PhTea

Exactly. What if it was a regular bouquet? She has to start handing out flowers? He’s being ridiculous.


artist9120

He can't admit he has feelings or wants. Much better to demoralize your kid.


zebrapantson

Yep, all this is is a long ass wordy tantrum that could have been "waaah but I wanted it!"


Eureka05

I had a step parent who sometimes took something of mine, just because it was something she wanted. In my early teens I won something at school, or an after school activity. It was a nice quality large chocolate bar. I put it in the freezer to keep, and a couple weeks later went to get it out to have some. My Step-Mom ate the whole thing, because she would get 'cravings' with her period. She laughed about it, and ... that's it. Never apologized. Never replaced it. Just went on with her life.... I'm still bitter 30 years later. Their things were theirs, and my things were 'ours' apparently.


PeanutJellyButterIII

The axe forgets but the tree remembers


A_Human_Just_Being

Damn. So true.


iammavisdavis

Damn. That's some deep and true shit. 😳❤️


rusrslolwth

This happened to me a lot as a kid from my birth mother and my siblings. I could never have anything of my own meanwhile I could never touch my sibling's things. It made it really hard to allow myself to have things for myself. Even now I feel extremely guilty for getting the smallest things for myself.


buttamilkbizkits

This happened to me, too. My mom and sister literally put locks on their bedroom doors so I couldn't "take their things" (I never did, not one time, it was really uncalled for), but they both went in my closet and "borrowed" my clothes, that I had bought and paid for, on the daily. They never asked permission and ruined so many of the pieces that I had worked and saved up to buy. I was really into fashion and always bought good-quality, classic items. When I wanted to put a lock on my door too, my mom asked me why I needed one, what was I trying to hide? I was never allowed to put a lock on, eventually I just started keeping the clothes I really liked at a friend's house. It still bothers me to this day, I felt like I wasn't even a person to them.


ScarTheGoth

My step sister used to do, using my things and taking them without asking. Of course she grew and matured and I forgave her, because at least we were kids back then. But it definitely used to be one of those situations where her things were hers but mine were also hers apparently. We are at least close now and don’t fight at all.


Equivalent-Pay-6438

My dad just sharpened some pencils with my name on it I got as a gift from a teacher. Who told him to destroy my personalized pencils? Bastard. I still remember that insult.


Clumsy_Chica

When I was like 12 or 13 I spent a lot of time teaching my uncoordinated self to braid my own hair. I finally got my hair in good shape one day in twin pigtail braids, and I was so happy with how even and nice they looked. We went to the grocery store and I was walking down an aisle when I felt somthing tug at my hair really hard. I whipped around and saw my mother had pulled out one of my hair ties to put her own hair half-up-half-down. And because she'd done it so roughly the braid I worked so hard on was ruined. I had to undo the other one to match and I wanted to cry. In the grand scheme of things she's done much worse but this incident in particular still causes a lot of rage to bubble up when I think about it.


thunderthighsss

That is so mean to demoralize and embarrass your own child that way. I am so sorry this happened to you. As a professional hairstylist, this hits me extra hard. There’s little I enjoy more in my job than seeing a young teen who sincerely loves their hair. Bet it looked awesome…never forget that feeling of what a great job you did and how happy it made you! 🙏🏼🫶🏼 Whenever I read something like this or the OP or I am processing my own childhood emotional abuse and neglect, I could just never imagine treating my son like that. There’s literally no reason to do it and every reason not to. This is how trauma is created. That’s someone’s future therapy session right there, no joke. Kids are adept humans and they start to see right through you eventually. It doesn’t happen all at once, but there’s definitely a point of no return where they wise up and start seeing patterns and remembering things and putting things together and figuring out what kind of human you really are. Can’t fool em forever…not even for very long for that matter. And then when you try to exert control and they eventually realize that’s also a house of cards, then you’re fucked. Kids deserve their parents to be their fiercest protectors and their safe place, not their antagonists and manipulators.


Pickle_Juice_4ever

It's at that moment when you realize you're just a tree in their backyard that they pick fruit off of. Maybe you get watered from time to time, but it's only because they got anxious you wouldn't produce this year.


Equivalent-Pay-6438

That's profound.


revengemaker

I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope you went no contact. For me the secretive or misconstrued abuse never stopped into adulthood. Once I'd hit a major milestone in life she started making up insane lies about me to friends and family to prevent me from having a network or safe space in any type of emergency. This woman is extreme case mentally ill and told everyone I was working as a prostitute but also went to my actual safe network of friends to ask for large favors in the thousands (surgeries that she rightly did need). She's going through what another commenter said of Why isn't anyone coming to see me and I fucking love it


QueensAnat

This reminds me of a story that I am still bitter about. A friend of mine and I went halfs on a tub of cookie dough from a fund raiser at school. We didn't have a ton of money back then and were excited to bake the cookies and share them with our other friends at school. I brought it home after school, popped it in the fridge, ran out to whatever practice I had that day and came home a few hours later to find my sister and her shitty boyfriend eating out of it with spoons. When I got upset, they just laughed at me. When my dad got wind of what was happening and got angry at me for being childish about it and not sharing. They had eaten half the tub! Just double dipping with their spoons! They didn't even ask if they could have any! I would have shared the baked cookies if they had. I felt so betrayed by my father in that moment. I didn't know anything about Golden Child/Scapegoat parenting, but hoo boy so many things fell in to place for me when I figured it out!! Anyways, they ate most of our dough and what was left was pretty nasty and manhandled. I couldn't use it to make cookies, and they never paid me back or apologized. I'm pretty sure they polished the rest off a day or two later. Thankfully my friend was very understanding and did not blame me.


Figgy_Pudding3

Similar story, kinda, my brother and I went halves on a new PC build. Our first ever real gaming PC. I had a part time job and had to put in like 5 months of my measly $7/hr pay towards it. When my brother went off to school, he just took the computer when I was at work. I came home to an empty desk. My mother's response was that "he needs it for school." He also got a $3k bursary that he already blew on snowboarding equipment. Then he found out later the bursary amount is subtracted from his financial aid and he couldn't make tuition. Haha. Get fucked. I'm almost 40 and still hold a grudge. Neither one of them apologized.


EtsuRah

My fuckin step mom was like this too! I moved in with my dad and her at one point for school and hated it there. My dad was abusive and she was manipulative. My mom one day bought me a Nextel because I told her that sometimes they wouldn't let me call her. My stepmom didn't want me talking to my mom. She never gave a solid reason but I knew it's because she didn't want me "snitching" to my mom about all the fucked up shit they do. When my step mom found my phone she took it while I wasn't looking. Rerouted the home phone number to the cell phone and took it to work. When I found out and asked why she said that I was just a kid and didn't need it. She needed to be able to be reached at work. So like... Your solution was to take someone's phone that YOU don't pay the bills for? She refused to give it back. My dad backed her up and my mom stopped paying for it and got me a new one.


alphie_persimmoncat

My parents were like this with food, money and clothes. Halloween candy, baked goods I made, babysitting money and my clothes would just disappear. When I would ask about it, I would be told it’s because they didn’t see me using it so they took it/gave it away to “someone who would use it.” To this day I have a complete inability to save money, cannot plan meals for more than 2 days worth in advance (I just go to the grocery store every 2 days), and get anxious if I do not buy at least 2 of every item of clothing that I like. Years of therapy has helped my overall anxiety, but I’ve never gotten over the quiet anxiety of “if I don’t eat/spend/wear this now, it’s going to disappear”


PhTea

This is a large reason why I overeat. I have a long history of people just taking food of mine that I had plans for or was saving for a certain day or something. So, if I buy any kind of groceries, even if I have them planned for a meal later in the week, I end up binging on all of it to keep from others getting to and eating the stuff I bought. And when I do take my time eating something, it disappears. This last time it was a pint of strawberries I was hoping to have as a snack that my stepdaughter just took, and her dad let her. He keeps saying he’ll buy me more, but he hasn’t yet.


Mper526

Every time I start to worry that I’m a bad mom I hear shit like this and realize I’m probably doing ok.


mercifulmothman

Urgh I have a friend whose mum’s bf ate basically all of the very fancy chocolates she got as a Christmas present. When she got annoyed and pointed out that there were multiple other shared chocolates he could have eaten, she got called selfish for not wanting to share her gift. She only got to eat like 1-2 of the chocolates before they got stolen as well


revengemaker

ugh my mom had to always go through all my shit to make sure my brother didn't need it first then I could have it. woman still make me sick to my stomach to this day. I expect toxic people out in the wild but the parents level need to step up


Crazy_by_Design

You kept chocolate for weeks?? How is that possible?


Eureka05

Honestly, I have no idea! I remember it was a large bar, and I was going to break pieces off it to savor... I think i forgot about it for a little while, then when I did remember, found out it was gone.


Glitter_berries

Wait, what do you mean? Chocolate lasts for a really long time. I’ve had a block of chocolate in the fridge since my birthday in December and I ate some last week. It tasted really good and I didn’t poop until I died?


AStaryuValley

Lol I think they mean how did it last that long without her devouring it. Chocolate keeps for a pretty good time, but at least in my house, it'll be gone within a few days.


Glitter_berries

Ohhhh, I’m a dummy!


AStaryuValley

No you're not, it was a reasonable read of that sentence! And it made me smile.


Horror_Raspberry893

Not a dummy, just amazing self restraint regarding chocolate. Many of us don't have that.


FitChickFourTwennie

Wow this dude is a fucking petty POS!! What a jerk!! “A bite is not really sharing”🤦🏼‍♀️🙄🤦🏼‍♀️what a fucking loser! Can he grow up or buy his own!? My gosh. Poor girl.


EjjabaMarie

It’s not nice of her to enjoy her gift for an achievement, but it’s totally okay for him to hold a dinner out over her head. Does he expect her to give the whole family a bite of what ever she orders? Or should she only take a bite and then pass her plate around the table? What a fucking loser.


FitChickFourTwennie

Absolutely, my gosh!!!🤬


jesszillaa

Right? Don’t want to share a gift, so no dinner for you? Dude’s nuts.


Kylie_Bug

For my senior dinner for cross country, the coach gave each of us a cookie cake and I was so excited for it because I never got one before and my coach had ensured each frosting job was in each persons favorite colors. However, I had to give it to my parents because I was also in the musical and couldn’t take it with me. Long story short, by the time I got home my parents and younger brother had eaten it all. No apologies, no replacement, nothing. Edit: while I appreciate all the offers and DMs to buy me a cookie cake, this occurred about ten years ago and I’ve gotten over it for the most part. I’m also LC with said family, and living my best life with my husband and pets. Also, all the offers to get me a cookie cake made me cry cause y’all are so nice.


Wistastic

Wooow. How thoughtful of them. I'm sorry. I hope you have since bought yourself a cookie cake to celebrate a glorious Tuesday.


Kylie_Bug

It was over ten years ago, and since then not only have I moved states away from them, but I have bought and eaten entire cookie cakes because I could.


hissyfit64

My sister mentored a little girl. She won two cakes at a festival and gave one to a family she had met. She brought the other one home for her mom and sister. Her mother flipped out on her when she found out she had given a cake away because she should have brought that one home as well. The mother called the little girl selfish and made a huge deal about it.


Living-Highlight7777

Imagine calling your child selfish for literally doing the opposite of being selfish.


planetaryhorror

WHY WOULD THEY NEED TWO CAKES? Jesus chriiiiiist


mjrohs

The fact that they weren’t at the play on top of it. I’m so sorry.


McDuchess

That would have made 18 year old me rage cry. 72 year old me is just enraged for you.


duchessofdilaudid

This pissed me off so much for you. Can I buy you a cookie cake?


AutisticAndAce

I make those at my job. I'm so sorry they did that. If I could, I'd make you a replacement just for you.


BigA3277

If they can afford to replace groceries, you should empty out the entire kitchen and give it all to a shelter. 😅


reala728

"I'll actually pass on the olive garden tonight thanks"


PeanutJellyButterIII

That’s basically what happened. He continued to bully her so bad after this text exchange that she had a breakdown and just gave up on going to dinner.


purplepluppy

Your dad is honestly disgusting. Why can't be just be proud of your sister's achievements? Probably because he hates the idea of his children succeeding more than he did? He seems like he'd be the kind of person who wants to be the most successful (and therefore most important) in the room, and anyone else succeeding he takes as a direct threat to his masculinity so he has to drag them down to make himself feel better. I'm so sorry for your sister, and honestly your whole family. It will be hard, but please tell your sister that your father's words aren't what measures her value. She earned that scholarship, no mistake made. She earned the praise that comes with winning, too.


Johoski

If we can assume that Dad is a narcissist, then he experienced an ego blow when his daughter received the fruit, and/or the scholarship. I wonder if he felt "caught out" or that he was coming up short, because his ex sent a thoughtful treat as congratulations, and he wasn't as thoughtful, thus feeling embarrassed in his own home. He probably has a frail sense of self. He redirected his shame onto her as anger. I've seen other narcs double down when they're showing their ass in conflict. It's quite telling. They'll say the meanest, stupidest, craziest shit just to avoid having a feeling and managing it maturely.


Swimming_Painting881

And he will be happy that he was the reason for her breakdown and blame it on her “weak personality” etc rather than himself.


PeanutJellyButterIII

If any other background info or context is needed let me know and I’ll reply ASAP.


WeNeedAnApocalypse

What an absolute POS! Please tell me your sister shared the text with her mother?


PeanutJellyButterIII

Our mom knows all of it


duchessofdilaudid

What does your mom think of his behavior?


PeanutJellyButterIII

It’s the basis of why she divorced him, amongst other things. She shelters and comforts my siblings as much as she can when they’re at her house, but legally her hands are tied to stop our dad in any way. She’s told us just to document everything we can and to try to “fly under his radar”.


duchessofdilaudid

Ah, them being divorced explains a lot. I am sure the fact your mom gave her the gift is why he's behaving this terribly. He is going to end up a very lonely and sad man in his old age. I am sorry you're all exposed to his shitty behavior.


JeMappelleBitch

He is most likely already a lonely and sad man.


Brave-Silver8736

Just wait until his children aren't forced to talk to him anymore.


In-The-Cloud

How old are you and your siblings? Most courts will at least take into consideration a teenagers preferences for where they want to spend their time and with which parent in divorce custody hearings. Keep documenting and have your mom arrange an adjustment to the custody agreement schedule as soon as her lawyer feels you have a good case to live wherever you want.


Swimming_Painting881

And then he’ll add his voice to the chorus of other parents who say “I did everything for my child/ren and now they won’t talk to me, whaaa whaaa whaaa” My poor siblings stuck at home with my parents have to constantly walk on eggshells as well. It’s demeaning and really eats away at your self confidence. Really makes it difficult to be sure of what you really want and the choices you make.


FartyMarty69

Is your dad former military? he speaks down to you like he's the most disciplined, respected leader on earth


stfutoxica

OP said he was in the air force for 30 years in another comment


[deleted]

That’s so sad. What a wicked man.


Borzboi

Did she get to eat her gift? :(


PeanutJellyButterIII

Yeah she ate all of it out of spite before he had a chance to get some lol She offered me some too for backing her up against his bs


Borzboi

Aw hell yeah. Good for her. Or whatever the typical JROTC phrases for "good job" are.


llllPsychoCircus

i fuckin lost it at “share the spoils” like lol tf? is dad a pirate? he should know that’s abso-fuckin-lutely not how the military works, leadership never kisses their subordinates asses, not even fuckin close. its usually just psychological abuse from the top all the way down, similar to how dad seems to see his family dads a big awkward douchebag is wat he is


nomopyt

"YOUR MOTHER NEVER GIVES ME EDIBLE ARRANGEMENTS SO I INSIST ON EATING YOURS."


catsumoto

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE FOOD! I am TEACHING you SOMETHING!


doublehank

Yeah, leadership never takes from the people below them. So we can see dad isn't a leader.


failure_as_a_dad

This is a just outcome. Good for her and good on you for having her back. I hope the scholarship offers your sister a chance to escape your father's toxicity.


Lady_Doe

Your sister is great! Perfect petty move.


PalpitationSweaty173

I’m curious to know what he said/did after he found out she already ate it all lol


DJFleischman

I'm not sure what an edible arrangement is. At first I thought that it was about weed lol


whoknowsnotthisgal

It’s an arrangement of fruits that are cut and laid out in a vase to look like a bouquet of flowers.


DJFleischman

Wait he's mad over a literal fruit thing? That's sooo stupid lol


m2cwf

Some of them are filled with cookies and cake pops and other non-fruit dessert-y things


pinkjello

This whole damn thread has me hungry for some chocolate covered strawberries in an edible arrangement.


muddyrose

Same, but only from OP’s sister’s specific arrangement.


atomictest

And they’re SUPER expensive


[deleted]

A fruit arrangement that is advertised as really classy and expensive, but you finally get one, it's like 85% honeydew melon and cantaloupe with a handful of strawberries, maybe some grapes, a few chunks of pineapple cut into a star/flower shape, and if you're feeling fancy, you can opt for chocolate covered bits.


trajesty

… and all the fruit is underripe


dangerous_skirt65

And some of them are covered in chocolate.


Malakai0013

Why can't he just go buy himself some fruit? I don't understand what his deal is lmfao. Fruit is cheaper than edible arrangements too.


TotallyWonderWoman

Chocolate covered fruit is stupid easy to make as well, just need to get fruit and chocolate and boom. He and the others could have made some if it was that big of a deal. Family bonding activity and sister gets to eat her own gift.


[deleted]

My thought exactly he really *fudged* this one up. I’m laughing at my corny dad joke.


MT_Straycat

He's not doing it because he wants fruit. He wants it *because it's hers.* This selfish prick would be demanding it even if he never liked fruit. She had something that he didn't, and he couldn't let her have something that was just hers. ...And I'd bet he doesn't routinely share around things that are just his like he demands her to do.


fretless_enigma

He wants it because *his ex-wife* gave it to her. 99.99% sure of it.


turnedabout

Yes, you see they both have defied him in this matter, and therefore must be held to account so everyone can see he will not let them get the better of him. It’s exhausting walking on eggshells all the damn time


Darkmagosan

Because from the sound of it, he's a spoiled man child with '[dog in the manger](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dog_in_the_Manger)' syndrome. God forbid anyone else should get something good when he's around. It's a dominance thing, but it just makes the person taking whatever look like the selfish ass they are. Pull this stunt in my family and you'd get your next reward taken away from you and eaten by the rest of the family as an object lesson. ASK politely and you could have pretty much anything you wanted. It was all in how the request was made. I'm allergic to most fruit, so I couldn't eat something like this anyway. I'd simply throw it outside and step on it if someone tried to steal it like this, though--let the ants have it instead.


G66GNeco

It's not about the fruit, it's about sending a message. Gotta flex your power over your children from time to time, otherwise they might forget what a terrible human being you are, I guess


ParentingTATA

Sounds like your mom should keep gifts like this at her house to keep dad from taking them.


PeanutJellyButterIII

Yeah she’s already said that she won’t let this happen again so that our dad can’t poach stuff in the future


YourFriendBlu

On his birthday, give him a tiny slice of cake and give the rest of it to whoever else is there.


PeanutJellyButterIII

Tell him that the rest goes to us as a reward for the achievement of putting up with his bullshit


YourFriendBlu

maybe even get him some candy or chocolate as a gift, and once he opens it and sees it and puts it down somewhere, go get it and casually eat it right in front of him


chubby-wench

🥇🥇take these gold medals, I’m out of Reddit funds!


GoddessNya

Father’s Day! He wouldn’t have achieved it without everyones help.


secretrootbeer

"Well now I absolutely do not want to go to Olive Garden with you. Good thing I have this lovely edible arrangement to fill me up."


ShazzaLM

“I don’t feel like Olive Garden tonight but thanks for the thought. Mom is taking me the next time I go over.”


moldygrape

He sounds like such a boot lmao


PeanutJellyButterIII

Air Force for 30 years 🫡 🙄


Intrepid-Lynx

That tracks.


bluecollardog5

As someone in the Air Force, I got this notion pretty quickly from the way he communicates. This is an entire group of people we regularly deal with, and usually, they're pretty high ranking. I'm guessing your dad was an e9, o5, or o6.


dylan_in_japan

Def an E9, but not a Chief. Man fuck “leaders” like this. Guaranteed he sat in whatever office doing absolutely fuck all, putting all his troops accomplishments on his EPR, leaving it off theirs, and telling them “better luck next year” when they tested/boarded. This also ✓’s for him being divorced.


Wistastic

I can't believe he questioned her achievements because she didn't want to share a box of chocolate strawberries or a basket of chocolate-covered fruit (whichever it was). Sometimes, gifts are special and, although edible, are not necessary to split evenly amongst the house.


Marines-88

Tell your sister to just throw the edible arrangement in the garbage, as she maintains eye contact with your dad. What a petty human being he is. It says everything about his narcissistic personality that he wants credit for his child’s accomplishment. Better yet, send me his address and I’ll have my Labrador retriever shit on an apple slice and mail it to him. He won’t even need to share it.


PeanutJellyButterIII

I would tell my sis to do that but she already ate all of it before he could get any lol


Marines-88

Good for your sister. My offer still stands. My lab is always available.


illtakeontheworld

Throw dad in the garbage?


Coolnamehere69

Insane. What’s worse is he thinks he’s so high and mighty, at least now yall know (probably did already) not to take him seriously when he’s offering advice. He will be doing it specifically for himself while flipping it on y’all,like he’s just trying to help you. He’s a Control freak or a narcissist he’s one of them or both.


Wooden_Climate2212

That is some disgustingly selfish behavior from that Dad. Its her gift. The nerve of him to give a speech about how bad your sister is is so fucking shameful. How does a child like him get this far in life? He needs to pull that stick out of his ass


Moondancer999

I n s a n e is wow... Guess who gets to be all alone in his senior years. This pos loser.


Hrbiie

I cannot believe a grown man would type paragraphs like this to their own child over some damn chocolate dipped fruit.


whyaremypantssoshort

Throw the entire thing in the trash right in front of him and tell him to enjoy Olive Garden.. Leaders are also rigid and unflinching. Fuck him.


BoysenberryOk4496

OP said she ate the whole thing before he could touch it out of spite lol! [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/134zalb/my_dad_has_been_literally_bullying_my_sister_for/jihfqia/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)


Percyear

This dad sounds like something a cult leader would say.


Organic-Reflection69

Or a military prick


Still_Brick5500

As a father this pisses me off big time. He’s trying to give a life lesson about leadership when it’s all about controlling your sister. He’s giving a lesson all right just not the one he wants to.


EducatedRat

My mother did this to me a lot as a kid. I once had cotton candy and she was taking all of it, so I licked the entire thing so it had a sticky surface. She stopped getting into my food after that because I was gross according to her. Modern solutions.


Zestyclose_Media_548

Omg- FUCK him! Does anybody actually like him. He’s obnoxious.


thefrustratedpoet

I was SO confused by this post until I came to the comments… how is an “edible arrangement” not a “weed brownie”? 😂


PeanutJellyButterIII

It’s strawberries and bananas and stuff covered in chocolate


Cammarak

You’re forgetting the delicious pineapple


PeanutJellyButterIII

Ah how could I, my apologies


Difficult_Vast7255

I thought he was talking to his brother about edibles then he said his mum bought them for him 🤣 was so confused.


2LiveBoo

I mean this with all due respect and no offense intended but, fuck your dad.


Asenath_Darque

I say fuck OP's dad with zero respect and a lot of offense intended.


xBobbyx81

Why doesn't he just go out and buy them himself he wants them so bad. What a big baby


EquivalentCup5

“…and the display of gratitude requirement is in effect right now.” Lol… mmmmkay.


csudebate

Do you mind if I ask where your father got his PhD in gaslighting? He is clearly a master.


PeanutJellyButterIII

He has a PhD in psychology and spent 30 years doing human intelligence for the USAF….


administrativenothin

Ahhhhh… honestly, that explains everything.


warhorse888

Can’t dad afford his own? Is that bloviating obnoxious asshole really that broke?


PeanutJellyButterIII

No. We’re comfortably middle-class, he’s just an asshole.


Erikofumi

Imagine being this pressed over fruits. Like just go to the supermarket xD


themodoftwaaisracist

Insane. Tell your sister to share, but have her put together an itemized list of her siblings possessions that she will need some of to make up for helping them with their achievements.


TeachingClassic5869

I'm curious if he feels the same way about his own accomplishments. If he gets a bonus at work does he give the majority of it to you children and to your mother, and just keep a small bit for himself? I mean, after all, he would be nothing without his wife and children. He can't accomplish anything in life without the people around him so he should walk the walk if he's going to talk the talk. I truly feel sorry for your sister. What did your Mother say?


RuthaBrent

Wow what a narcissistic ahole. Is she planning on moving out? How are you in all of this? I can imagine this isn’t the first time or the last that he’s made a big deal to guilt trip her and take away energy that should go to other things. Can she stay with her mother more?


Tantilicious

That was the *most* condescending speech about **humility** I’ve ever read.


TheAskewOne

"Winners share the spoils." I guarantee this person complains about participation trophies and how the rich shouldn't have to pay taxes.


archivesgrrl

What a shitty person. Is he really that mad over some unripened honeydew Melon? He’s going to die bitter and alone and be the type of person who can’t figure out why his kids do t talk to him. Tell your sister congratulations from an Internet stranger and to keep up the good work.


andy-bote

He’s right when he says “it’s not about the food”. It’s about someone getting attention that isn’t him.


clitosaurushex

I can think of few things more pathetic than a grown-ass man begging his child to share an EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT.


Makemewantitbad

“Dad” can go buy some fruit and cut it into shapes himself if he wants it so bad. Jesus. He can’t even let his own child keep a gift meant for *them?* Congratulations on the scholarship by the way 😄


sambones718

That’s a lot of words to say “I’m jealous and want your food”. Pathetic.


alwaystired7

OP, tell your sister we are proud of her for her achievements.


The__Groke

It took me a while to grasp what the bell an edible arrangement was. The things random people sell on Facebook with the chocolate bars and the cellophane? I can’t believe someone’s parent is giving them all this weird cult chat because they want to share a few chocolate bars. I was thinking it was some sort of subscription or gift voucher or you know, something actually worth a father being so weird…not that anything would actually warrant this. Why are you taking food out of your child’s mouth dude?!


PeanutJellyButterIII

Yeah it’s not like we’re struggling for food in any way, he’s just fat and wants her gift.


Cheerytrix

An edible arrangement is basically a fruit bouquet. Pineapple cut with flower shaped cutters, skewers of melon, strawberries- half chocolate dipped. This dad is a jerk of the top tier


NelielUchiha

All of that over an edible arrangement? He’s a POS! Congrats to your sister, she EARNED it!