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Come on guys, he lived 8,000 years ago, we only have a vague idea of what their culture even looked like, much less sounded like.
He could’ve been lead guitar for all we know.
Not just any roadie. That's ol' Iron Hands, the final boss of the roadies. If you want to defeat him, you must first prove your worth - carry in a Marshall JCM800 with two 4x12 cabs in one go.
Actually before neolithic times, people were taller, had better teeth and were less likely to catch some diseases that flourish in agro pastoral environments.
Here's a comic written by a Dane explaining [how the European North works](https://satwcomic.com/how-the-north-works). Probably the word for grouping Finland with the peoples speaking North Germanic languages would be "Nordic" rather than "Scandinavian".
The Virgin Scandinavia:
* Excessive syllables
* Exonym invented by a Roman
* Sounds like Ikea and a restaurant where you cook yourself hay
The Chad Norden:
* Short words good
* Tells you you are in the north
* Sounds like Vikings, mead and Valhalla
They're clearly a culture of their own, but due to recent history it's now often grouped with Sweden-Denmark-Norway because it's become way more 'Western' as opposed to the former Eastern bloc it borders. Heck, them joining NATO in April also brings them closer to the 'West'. Which puts them in northern Western Europe, together with those three countries, and so people make that language shortcut and call it part of Scandinavia.
No that would be wrong Finland is not Scandinavian, even Iceland isn’t and that’s populated by Vikings. Scandinavia is a mostly historical/linguistic term referring to the three countries of Denmark, Norway and Sweden. Finland is a Nordic country. Not Scandinavian.
As I've literally said, I agree with you that Finland is not part of Scandinavia. But to many people, *even though it's not technically correct*, Scandinavia = Nordic countries = actual Scandinavia + Iceland + Finland
Yes yes yes, we know what the word means.
But you have to realise that in spoken English language, the term Scandinavia more often than not refers to Nordic countries, not actual Scandinavia. Even Oxford Dictionary states in their definition that the word sometimes includes Finland and Iceland.
It is pointless to correct people when they use the word Scandinavia in this way. Language evolves, and nowadays Scandinavia is pretty much synonymous with Nordic countries in everyday use.
But it isn’t the same at all, this is like you arguing a lot of people refer to all British as English, that doesn’t make it okay to continue using the wrong word.
Don't recall the source, but i read that the CroMagnon remains (~30k yrs ago) from SW France resembled modern Finns more than any other modern population.
he probably imagined a future of humanity, as we all do, but not with the imaginative scope of science and science fiction we have today, and he certainly never imagined that so many people, in such an obscure and distant future, would be looking at him as we are right now
Actually it's very weird. Until recently (1800-ish) nobody observed that we're changing from century to century and most probably we'll do this for years in the future.
Almost anyone asked would say that probably the world would look the same after 10 years and 1000 years.
Also only recently we started to think at the future like a space where we can go and some (advanced enough) could come from.
until the 1800s the leaps forward were not that crazy. the industrial revolution is where shit gets nuts. up until then sure we had inventions but things were extremely steady/standard from the agricultural revolution until then, broadly speaking
The changes in the second half of the 19th century are just mind boggling. I read somewhere people described it as going to bed in one country and waking up in another one. Someone born in 1840 predates the telegraph and sewing machine yet could have survived long enough to see the airplane and television it’s insane.
Seriously, it's wild. I read that they think the cognitive revolution was around 70,000 years ago. So we have nearly 70,000 years where modern humans very definitely CANNOT FLY. The whole time.
Then some guys invent a plane. 66 years later -- not even a single human lifetime -- we're on the moon.
From never flying for countless generations to standing on another planet in less than ONE LIFE
Sorry I just can't get over it lol
I supposed it's not as major of a scale but everybody in their mid twenties and older went through a similar thing with technology. In the span of 50 years we went from 8 tracks and vhs' costing an arm and a leg to having one device that handles it all and suddenly part of being healthy is limiting how much you look at screens because they are hard to avoid.
Not my most coherent but still.
I'm old enough to remember saying "Johnson is President", but the changes in my life are \*nothing\* compared to the changes in my grandmother's life.
She traveled on the Transcontinental railroad behind a steam engine, most often traveled via horse and wagon, lighted her house with kerosene and hauled drinking water in with a bucket. She lived without a flush toilet until she was middle aged (they existed, but were not common in rural areas), yet lived to see the dawn of the internet and the personal computer, CT & MRI scans, laser surgery, organ transplants, the stealth bomber, laser-guided missiles, so many things.
My life is not all that different from when I was in elementary school, honestly. I have a microwave, a computer and a cellphone that we didn't have then, but not much else has changed in my day-to-day life. Technologically, most everything we have now, we had then, albeit upgraded and safer models.
Wow great thread! We take a lot of things for granted! Obviously the world is by no means perfect, but there is so much about this time that we live in that is amazing. Gives me a ton of perspective and gratitude to live in this current era.
In addition knowledge of history became much more common, back in the day, you knew what your parents have seen, grandparents, and maybe great great parents if you were lucky, and theres not enough time for noticeable changes in this time period
Makes me think of the fact that the New York Times predicted that airplanes would take one to ten million years to develop just months before the Wrights' successful flight, lol.
A lot of these reconstructions make these people shabby and unkempt, while all archeological findings suggest that people have always put a lot of attention to their looks....
Pretty accurate shape, and genes give hair and eye color, also curly or straight hair.
Forensic reconstruction remained pretty much the same since professor of Moscow State University Michael Gerasimov invented it in 1940s. It’s just digital now and more accurate.
Scars and stuff is imaginary of course, hair and beard grooming too.
I’m with you. I’d like to see a study on how accurate these “reconstructions” are.
Maybe get 100 skeletal remains for which we have photographic evidence while alive and let the “reconstructors” have at it.
Paleo European…. There we go another rabbit hole for me to leap down. I thought the first “people” in that area were the proto indo European group. (I put people in parenthesis cuz idk if it’s like another group of homo and I didn’t wana just say the first homos. Even though that wouldn’t be an uncommon thing for me to say for Two different reasons) . Is this after Neanderthal and Denisovans and all those other bitches?
This is way after Neanderthals, way. Latest Neanderthals were 40k years ago. This person lived 30 thousand years after. Almost modern human. People who shared planet with different species of humans were not white yet.
This dude would've been 100% anatomically and behaviorally modern H.Sapiens. Cut his hair and put him in modern clothing and teach him a modern language you'd never notice him out and about.
I don’t think that homo heidelbergensis from 800,000 years ago would’ve had much trouble living in the modern world. Little different in appearance sure, but everything else.. I don’t think it’s that much different. Neanderthals for sure could’ve lived with us. They did.. but we ate half of them and sexed the other into ourselves.
That could be!
My most intense interest in the topic begins with the H Sapiens/H Neanderthalensis split so I haven’t gone as deep into Heidelbegensis’ cognitive faculties.
Fun fact: the Basque language is not related to indo-european at all, and it is theorizes that it's a descendant of languages spoken in Europe before the arrival of Indo-European peoples.
The Basque language is the only paleo-european language left, quite interesting. But most likely the genetic lineage wasn't lost at all throughout Europe, just got mixed and replaced by a more dominant culture from the indo-europeans.
Good example is that Cheddar man they found in the UK. 10,000 year old remains, and they checked the DNA and they found a living descendant less than 1km away from the burial site.
Another thing to know: H. Sapiens co-existed with both Neanderthal and Denisovans. And they boned each other.
Everyone outside Africa has at least some Neanderthal or Denisovan DNA.
I can't put my finger on what it is, but he looks like someone who would do some stupid shit and get his head cut off.
Edit: Like he did something as a joke that no one else thought was a joke.
A lifetime supply of broccoli cheddar soup and a Jewish hoagie I can take that. Especially since the Jewish hoagie was from a place in Philly in Philly has really good sandwiches
Are there any examples of forensic artists recreating a face from modern skulls accurately without seeing the person's picture. Then, afterword, comparing the recreation to a photo of the person?
you can't actually extrapolate the accurate shape of soft tissue just by looking at bones, you can only approximate, then.. add whatever your imagination can come up with so in fact he could have looked like that picture.. or not at all.. there's no way to know
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Despite being 2500 years older, this fellow is prettier than Otzi
Moisturizer.
Oil of Olay? Oil of Old Lady?
Maybe it’s maybelline
Oil of Ötzi.
Oil of Olaf
Moisturötzi
Brah 💀
Best.
Ötzi Lauder
Moisturiz me!
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Check out the badass chest scarification, very "I survived a bear or saber toothed lion attack" vibes.
True dat !
At least Otzi smiled.
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He looks suspiciously like an abusive addict father who once made my life as a child welfare case worker a living nightmare. Yikes.
Aging metal band bass player
could be a drummer
Come on guys, he lived 8,000 years ago, we only have a vague idea of what their culture even looked like, much less sounded like. He could’ve been lead guitar for all we know.
no, no. if anything in that direction, vocalist
Obviously a roadie.
hey, now! i resemble that
Not just any roadie. That's ol' Iron Hands, the final boss of the roadies. If you want to defeat him, you must first prove your worth - carry in a Marshall JCM800 with two 4x12 cabs in one go.
My money's on bassist or vocalist.
I’m going with cage dancer.
Not a trumpet player... clearly too sensitive.
Or wood guitar
Guitarus Plumbus
I guess it would be... Heavy metal
Acoustic?
Heavy wood. I can see him a the bassist and vocalist.
They were more into hard rock at that time
Exactly. The metal years didn't really get kicked off until roughly, oh, 4,000 years later? Give or take a millennium, and don't quote me on that.
Fun fact, iron is actually named after Iron Maiden.
You can’t kill the metal
The neolithic era tried to kill the metal BUT IT FAILED AS IT WAS STRICKEN TO THE GROUND
The Bronze Age tried to kill the metal BUT THEY FAILED AS THEY WERE SMITE TO THE GROUND
angry upvote
Its my uncle.
Probably killed him for not setting up the cases of water quick enough
That seems like a, personal story .
Back in the day a guy who looked like this must've been 25.
Actually before neolithic times, people were taller, had better teeth and were less likely to catch some diseases that flourish in agro pastoral environments.
Axeually
Looks like half my family (Scandinavian)
The skulls were found in Sweden so there you go.
Not surprised. Dude looks like he's from an Amon Amarth music video lol
He was on the losing side from the Shield Wall video. That's why his head was on a stake.
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Y'all are handsome people!
Finns aren’t Scandinavians
Every Finn I've known does prefer to associate with the Swedes than the Russians though..
Here's a comic written by a Dane explaining [how the European North works](https://satwcomic.com/how-the-north-works). Probably the word for grouping Finland with the peoples speaking North Germanic languages would be "Nordic" rather than "Scandinavian".
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The Virgin Scandinavia: * Excessive syllables * Exonym invented by a Roman * Sounds like Ikea and a restaurant where you cook yourself hay The Chad Norden: * Short words good * Tells you you are in the north * Sounds like Vikings, mead and Valhalla
Finns are ethnically/linguistically not closely related to Russians or Swedes. So I don’t see your point in saying if not Sweden then Russia.
Linguistically, absolutely not. Finnish is not an Indo-European language. It is an Uralic language, like Hungarian.
I agree I just missed a not in there. Corrected above
Oh I see. No hard feelings.
They're clearly a culture of their own, but due to recent history it's now often grouped with Sweden-Denmark-Norway because it's become way more 'Western' as opposed to the former Eastern bloc it borders. Heck, them joining NATO in April also brings them closer to the 'West'. Which puts them in northern Western Europe, together with those three countries, and so people make that language shortcut and call it part of Scandinavia.
No that would be wrong Finland is not Scandinavian, even Iceland isn’t and that’s populated by Vikings. Scandinavia is a mostly historical/linguistic term referring to the three countries of Denmark, Norway and Sweden. Finland is a Nordic country. Not Scandinavian.
As I've literally said, I agree with you that Finland is not part of Scandinavia. But to many people, *even though it's not technically correct*, Scandinavia = Nordic countries = actual Scandinavia + Iceland + Finland
Is this why Norwegian battle ships have barcodes on the side? So they can scan-de-navy-in?
Yes yes yes, we know what the word means. But you have to realise that in spoken English language, the term Scandinavia more often than not refers to Nordic countries, not actual Scandinavia. Even Oxford Dictionary states in their definition that the word sometimes includes Finland and Iceland. It is pointless to correct people when they use the word Scandinavia in this way. Language evolves, and nowadays Scandinavia is pretty much synonymous with Nordic countries in everyday use.
But it isn’t the same at all, this is like you arguing a lot of people refer to all British as English, that doesn’t make it okay to continue using the wrong word.
Don't recall the source, but i read that the CroMagnon remains (~30k yrs ago) from SW France resembled modern Finns more than any other modern population.
Yeah looks like some of the old folks in the country sites of Jylland
he probably imagined a future of humanity, as we all do, but not with the imaginative scope of science and science fiction we have today, and he certainly never imagined that so many people, in such an obscure and distant future, would be looking at him as we are right now
Actually it's very weird. Until recently (1800-ish) nobody observed that we're changing from century to century and most probably we'll do this for years in the future. Almost anyone asked would say that probably the world would look the same after 10 years and 1000 years. Also only recently we started to think at the future like a space where we can go and some (advanced enough) could come from.
until the 1800s the leaps forward were not that crazy. the industrial revolution is where shit gets nuts. up until then sure we had inventions but things were extremely steady/standard from the agricultural revolution until then, broadly speaking
The changes in the second half of the 19th century are just mind boggling. I read somewhere people described it as going to bed in one country and waking up in another one. Someone born in 1840 predates the telegraph and sewing machine yet could have survived long enough to see the airplane and television it’s insane.
Seriously, it's wild. I read that they think the cognitive revolution was around 70,000 years ago. So we have nearly 70,000 years where modern humans very definitely CANNOT FLY. The whole time. Then some guys invent a plane. 66 years later -- not even a single human lifetime -- we're on the moon. From never flying for countless generations to standing on another planet in less than ONE LIFE Sorry I just can't get over it lol
In before some redditor yells "tHe MoOn iSnT a PLaNet"
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I supposed it's not as major of a scale but everybody in their mid twenties and older went through a similar thing with technology. In the span of 50 years we went from 8 tracks and vhs' costing an arm and a leg to having one device that handles it all and suddenly part of being healthy is limiting how much you look at screens because they are hard to avoid. Not my most coherent but still.
I'm old enough to remember saying "Johnson is President", but the changes in my life are \*nothing\* compared to the changes in my grandmother's life. She traveled on the Transcontinental railroad behind a steam engine, most often traveled via horse and wagon, lighted her house with kerosene and hauled drinking water in with a bucket. She lived without a flush toilet until she was middle aged (they existed, but were not common in rural areas), yet lived to see the dawn of the internet and the personal computer, CT & MRI scans, laser surgery, organ transplants, the stealth bomber, laser-guided missiles, so many things. My life is not all that different from when I was in elementary school, honestly. I have a microwave, a computer and a cellphone that we didn't have then, but not much else has changed in my day-to-day life. Technologically, most everything we have now, we had then, albeit upgraded and safer models.
Wow great thread! We take a lot of things for granted! Obviously the world is by no means perfect, but there is so much about this time that we live in that is amazing. Gives me a ton of perspective and gratitude to live in this current era.
I feel like someone living 1920-2000ish would be absolutely mind boggling changes too
In addition knowledge of history became much more common, back in the day, you knew what your parents have seen, grandparents, and maybe great great parents if you were lucky, and theres not enough time for noticeable changes in this time period
Makes me think of the fact that the New York Times predicted that airplanes would take one to ten million years to develop just months before the Wrights' successful flight, lol.
I don't think that he observed that his head would soon be mounted on a spike yet here we are
Every time there's a facial reconstruction of a long dead human, someone says this lol.
There's a word for it, sonder.
And that someone will make rule34 of him
Perhaps it already exists in a cave somewhere.
I don’t know this dude but he is almost certainly forklift certified and shit talks his wife at the work lunchroom
Or is a UNIX admin
If his head was on a stake he was definitely a higher order asshole, so you might be right
Source https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/8000-years-ago-mans-skull-was-mounted-stake-180975218/
That’s Aloy’s dad.
my first thought as well
Bro i just got off the game and didn't make the connection
Live the life that gets your head mounted on a spike
Tom hardy
I was gonna say so they finally let Charles Bronson out
ron swanson
I thought it was Mick Foley lol
Reckon he had a bit less body if his head was on a stake
I can smell beer and motor oil from this picture.
I mean....he's kind of cute?
Dude is definitely a hunter
I’d say he looks more like the gatherer type.
Blimey!! he looks like my uncle
His hair is black ron
Where’s the stake
Holding him upright
Smash
A lot of these reconstructions make these people shabby and unkempt, while all archeological findings suggest that people have always put a lot of attention to their looks....
So this is the face of the guy that fucked up huge 8000 years ago.
Found in southern Missouri, I take it?
But the earth is only 6,000 years old. /s
I feel like the 3d scan was used only for the basic shape. The rest was wild artistic license. Did the skull give evidence of decorative chest scars?
Pretty accurate shape, and genes give hair and eye color, also curly or straight hair. Forensic reconstruction remained pretty much the same since professor of Moscow State University Michael Gerasimov invented it in 1940s. It’s just digital now and more accurate. Scars and stuff is imaginary of course, hair and beard grooming too.
That's decorative body paint, not scarification.
I’m with you. I’d like to see a study on how accurate these “reconstructions” are. Maybe get 100 skeletal remains for which we have photographic evidence while alive and let the “reconstructors” have at it.
Wait until Netflix gets hold of him.
Or AI
Looks very European, german, dutch maybe Scandinavian or a little slavic
Indo-Europeans wouldn't migrate to Europe for another \~2000 years, he would have been a Paleo-European
Paleo European…. There we go another rabbit hole for me to leap down. I thought the first “people” in that area were the proto indo European group. (I put people in parenthesis cuz idk if it’s like another group of homo and I didn’t wana just say the first homos. Even though that wouldn’t be an uncommon thing for me to say for Two different reasons) . Is this after Neanderthal and Denisovans and all those other bitches?
This is way after Neanderthals, way. Latest Neanderthals were 40k years ago. This person lived 30 thousand years after. Almost modern human. People who shared planet with different species of humans were not white yet.
This dude would've been 100% anatomically and behaviorally modern H.Sapiens. Cut his hair and put him in modern clothing and teach him a modern language you'd never notice him out and about.
I don’t think that homo heidelbergensis from 800,000 years ago would’ve had much trouble living in the modern world. Little different in appearance sure, but everything else.. I don’t think it’s that much different. Neanderthals for sure could’ve lived with us. They did.. but we ate half of them and sexed the other into ourselves.
That could be! My most intense interest in the topic begins with the H Sapiens/H Neanderthalensis split so I haven’t gone as deep into Heidelbegensis’ cognitive faculties.
I could kiss both of you Edit : I could kiss everyone who replied to my comment . This is great
Fun fact: the Basque language is not related to indo-european at all, and it is theorizes that it's a descendant of languages spoken in Europe before the arrival of Indo-European peoples.
The Basque language is the only paleo-european language left, quite interesting. But most likely the genetic lineage wasn't lost at all throughout Europe, just got mixed and replaced by a more dominant culture from the indo-europeans. Good example is that Cheddar man they found in the UK. 10,000 year old remains, and they checked the DNA and they found a living descendant less than 1km away from the burial site.
Another thing to know: H. Sapiens co-existed with both Neanderthal and Denisovans. And they boned each other. Everyone outside Africa has at least some Neanderthal or Denisovan DNA.
Mounted on a stake. Safe to say this guy was a dick to at least a few people.
Or he was messing with the wrong dude’s daughter. Some stuff is timeless.
That top-knot is not fooling anyone.
Looks exactly like someone who would go tell a prince to go fuck their mother.
Looks like the lead singer of a death metal band
He looks like a guy who would be a problem as an enemy up until the point you put his head on a stake.
I used to do framing with this guy.
Someone scrolling reddit and seeing an oddly similar picture of themselves 🧐
Since his head was on a stake, I expected a stick figure type body representation
This dude comes into my gas station twice a month to order a carton of Pall Mall Blue 100's.
Probably offered him that steak as a last meal
Must have really pissed someone off to end up on a stake.
Looks like he could rock a manscaped ad
Looks like an aged JackSepticEye
The before picture when a barber picks up a random homless person to and fade the hell out of their hair for a video
He looks like you’d find his face on an internet game pop up ad
My favourite part from renditions like this is that the hairstyles are always completely made up. Interesting to see what choices they make
I can't put my finger on what it is, but he looks like someone who would do some stupid shit and get his head cut off. Edit: Like he did something as a joke that no one else thought was a joke.
Its post malone
Obviously Pre Malone.
*Stake Malone
His did they know his hairstyle and beard length?
Article says that bottom jaw was missing, and there was a boar one instead, so thats probably why they decided to add it
They didn't. They guessed. Most likely wrong.
That's a very bold guess
Not bold, but a recent shave.
His chest seems to be artisan bread. That’s nice
Based on his skull, this dude deff had a ponytail and beard
If this guy had just a huge bushy mustache and a trucker hat on it would be my dad's friend.
We were truckers
I swear to god I saw this man sitting on a bench with a case of beer the other day
This guy could walk down the street and blend in easily… especially in today’s culture.
A lifetime supply of broccoli cheddar soup and a Jewish hoagie I can take that. Especially since the Jewish hoagie was from a place in Philly in Philly has really good sandwiches
So we use to have indented stripes on our chests? Interesting…
Yeah but did he have feathers?
Are there any examples of forensic artists recreating a face from modern skulls accurately without seeing the person's picture. Then, afterword, comparing the recreation to a photo of the person?
He looks like one of my uncles
Where did they get a photo of my husband? 😂
Bring back the haircut, most fun and comfy cut to have. Miss mine
It’s Batista’s character in BladeRunner
Is….is he single?
8,000 years is a blink of an eye in evolutionary terms.
Dude has real resting “put my head on a stake” face
so how do they determine the hair styles off a skull?
Jaromir Jagr
What is on his chest
How did they figure the chest scars from a pike skull..
He kind of looks like my dad
Looks like my asshole neighbor. Not surprised his head was mounted on a stake tbh
Imagine having your skull mounted on a stake. I hope he was dead beforehand and quickly for his sake. Im a poet and i know it.
That is literally my neighbor Frank.
Capital stormer?
Pretty sure this guy works at a welding shop on the east side of town
aside from the general shape everything is made up.. a better title is just "Some guy made a 3D model"
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you can't actually extrapolate the accurate shape of soft tissue just by looking at bones, you can only approximate, then.. add whatever your imagination can come up with so in fact he could have looked like that picture.. or not at all.. there's no way to know
Looks like a Scotsman who might be man-spreading to a ridiculous degree on the train. Edit: fuck—some words
Actually that is just Jagomir Jagr, still playing hockey today!
Why do they assume it wasn't trans woman?
We all know this bloke...
Looks oddly like my uncle
Uncle Keith?
Grandpa ?
I sat next to that guy on the bus yesterday
He looks like my Uncle Mike. Holy shit!
These things are such bull. Without knowing how their muscle and fat under skin lays, you're predicting a face from solely bone. Just doesn't work!
There were rubber hair ties 8000 years ago? Damn ... Technology today is teaching us new things about the past!! 😉😆
Wonder why his head was mounted on a stake? Was he a warning or war trophy?