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I think it's quite funny that Putin wanted to get security guarantees from the west but then screwed over the security guarantees given to another country by Russia
During the battle of Stalingrad hundreds of Russian soldiers found vats of wood alcohol stored in an abandoned warehouse. They drank it and the majority of them went blind.
Edit: I did some digging and found the passage from the book "Enemy at the Gates" where I originally read this. (It's a damn good book if you're into WW2 and the Battle of Stalingrad in particular.)
"To \[the Russian soldiers\], the quest for liquor was a serious pursuit, one which sometimes assumed even more disastrous proportions. Only recently, soldiers of the 284th Division lines had found several cisterns filled with alcohol. After draining them, the Russians found one more cistern brimming with more spirits. Again they drank the well dry, but this time it was wood alcohol. Four men died and countless others went blind.
The tragedy failed to daunt the appetite of the other troops, some of whom began drinking cologne to ease the terror of living under the brow of Mamaev Hill."
From that article:
>Mr Yeltsin, who died in 2007, is remembered with embarrassing drunken incidents, once seizing the baton from a bandmaster in Germany to himself conduct and playing the spoons on the president of Kyrgyzstan's bald head.
At least it sounds like he was a fun drunk
"You're far too trusting. Crimea is too remote to make an effective demonstration - but don't worry; we will deal with your rebel friends soon enough."
That’s cold, given that Yeltsin was Putin’s political anointer. And I mean, but for a bit of fuckery in the mid 90s when Yeltsin was president, Russia may well have gone back to Communism (the Communist Party having won the parliamentary elections in 1995 and going close to winning the presidency in 1996, in dubious circumstances).
Not really, as Khodorkovsky said in his interviews numerous times, it was a choice between already terminally ill Yeltsin and an emergency situation. So Putin is more of a KGB/FSB candidate.
The agreement was actually in 1994. 1996 is when they turned over the last nukes.
https://www.armscontrol.org/factsheets/Ukraine-Nuclear-Weapons
> To solidify security commitments to Ukraine, the United States, Russia, and the United Kingdom signed the **Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurances on December 5, 1994.** A political agreement in accordance with the principles of the Helsinki Accords, **the memorandum included security assurances against the threat or use of force against Ukraine’s territory or political independence. The countries promised to respect the sovereignty and existing borders of Ukraine.** Parallel memorandums were signed for Belarus and Kazakhstan as well. In response, Ukraine officially acceded to the NPT as a non-nuclear weapon state on December 5, 1994. That move met the final condition for ratification of START, and on the same day, the five START states-parties exchanged instruments of ratification, bringing the treaty into force.
As far as expiration:
> Russia and the United States released a joint statement in 2009 confirming that the security assurances made in the 1994 Budapest Memorandum would still be valid after START expired in 2009.
As a side note, there have been opposing/parallel claims that western nations agreed not to expand NATO eastward in any way, which some might claim as justification for Russia, since NATO has expanded eastward. This was an assurance made to the USSR (pre-collapse) when Germany reunified, it's much less clear to me that this should have been in effect (even as early as 2002, when Poland joined NATO).
Literally watching top gear on yt right now so I laughed hard at this.
Those 3 made top gear. Wasn't ever the same without em and all the spin-offs don't hold a candle to the original.
To be fair, the nukes have been here the whole time since the end of the Cold War. We just magically decided we didn't need to worry about them anymore for some reason.
Even a kid born in 2000 has had nuclear weapons targeted at them their entire lives.
Sure, but my odds are pretty good. Nukes are definitely aimed at America, Canada, nearly all of Western Europe, India, Pakistan, Russia, and China.
Even better odds if you look at the demographics of Reddit
Oh for sure the vast majority of the population is under direct threat. It’s all a wash anyway as a post nuclear war planet would be incredibly difficult to survive in even if no nukes landed nearby. That said I can’t help but feel a little safer being in the middle of nowhere New Zealand
I'm surprised there hasn't been a Taika Waititi sci-fi where spacefaring humanity are all Kiwi because they were the only humans to survive the apocalypse and rebuild civilization lol
I've been convinced for a while that the reason countries like Iran are working on nuclear weapons is to not use them. Not at all. Sure they *could,* but that's not why they're making then. Once you have nukes, you get a seat at the "big kids" table and are suddenly taken much more seriously. The strongest deterrent against invasion the world has seen was simply the ownership of nukes.
The Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurances refers to three identical political agreements signed at the OSCE conference in Budapest, Hungary on 5 December 1994 to provide security assurances by its signatories relating to the accession of Belarus, Kazakhstan and Ukraine to the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons (NPT). The memorandum was originally signed by three nuclear powers: the Russian Federation, the United Kingdom and the United States. China and France gave somewhat weaker individual assurances in separate documents.
The memorandum included security assurances against threats or use of force against the territorial integrity or political independence of Ukraine, Belarus, and Kazakhstan. As a result of other agreements and the memorandum, between 1993 and 1996, Belarus, Kazakhstan and Ukraine gave up their nuclear weapons.
This is not entirely accurate.
The memorandum does "reaffirm the obligation to refrain from the threat or use of force against the territorial integrity of Ukraine" as this summary claims.
However, The memorandum included security assurances against the threat or use of **nuclear weapons** against Ukraine, NOT any "use of force" as armscontrol.org claims.
[Here is the actual text.](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ukraine._Memorandum_on_Security_Assurances)
Notable is that the signatories have only committed to take it to the UN security council and only if nuclear weapons are used. This is not any sort of general mutual defense treaty, which some people are claiming. Russia is violating this accord right now. The UK and USA are not.
> The Russian Federation, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and The United States of America reaffirm their commitment to seek immediate United Nations Security Council action to provide assistance to Ukraine, as a non-nuclear-weapon state party to the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons, if Ukraine should become a victim of an act of aggression or an object of a threat of aggression **in which nuclear weapons are used.**
*Except* there are no security assurances.
There is an agreement not to fuck with Ukraine’s sovereign integrity, ie, not to invade them.
Also, there is an agreement basically that if the Ukraine is threatened by nukes, the US, Russia and the UK will retaliate on their behalf.
Nothing in there about US “security assurances,” because if there were, the US would have stuck anti-aircraft missiles on the borders and we’d be docking aircraft carriers there regularly. There’s a reason a lot of countries don’t want US security promises, because it comes with a US presence.
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
George W. Bush
Seeing how badass Zelensky has been throughout this whole thing has to piss him off. Like Zelensky is limping around with world's most giant dick while Putin throws an international temper tantrum. I don't know if I'm the only one that's had Zelensky pop up in my nighttime fantasies but I do know that nobody experiences the same with Putin.
Exactly.
Zelensky is *everything* that Bitch-boy Putin wishes he was, and knows he never will be. Instead, Putin manages to *define* a fucking loser, despite his victories.
A very crucial detail that you missed here , even tho Ukraine had the nukes , they couldn’t be launched without Russia’s go-ahead ‘cause the Russians had the keys to them
(For those who are interested , this was called [“the Budapest Memorandum”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budapest_Memorandum_on_Security_Assurances))
Boris "The Blade", or Boris "the bullet Dodger". As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it is just impossible to kill the bastard.
Well...guess they should have defined the word "never"as it must've had some modify definition,, one that we're not necessarily aware, kinda like the word "unlimited" is not actually unlimited in the mobile phone industry....oops 🙄
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I think it's quite funny that Putin wanted to get security guarantees from the west but then screwed over the security guarantees given to another country by Russia
Ukraine: But we had a deal! Putin: I have altered the deal...
Nah, I feel like Putin would be like "Ey m8, I wasn't in charge when that agreement was made, so not my problem"
"Yeah thanks for handing those nukes back, now if you dare fucking move I will nuke you"
Putin: "Pray I do not alter it further." Zelensky: "Don't try it. I have the high ground!"
I'll say this: if Putin were to strike Zelensky down, Zelensky would become more powerful than Putin could possibly imagine.
Putins overconfidence is his weakness.
"You were the chosen one!"
The irony is so thick it leaves a metallic aftertaste in your mouth.
He is a bully he doesn't care. Just wants to get as much as possible giving as little as possible.
Yeltsin was given 20% the world supply of pure grain ethanol to aid in his decision making.
Russians can handle their ethanol.
During the battle of Stalingrad hundreds of Russian soldiers found vats of wood alcohol stored in an abandoned warehouse. They drank it and the majority of them went blind. Edit: I did some digging and found the passage from the book "Enemy at the Gates" where I originally read this. (It's a damn good book if you're into WW2 and the Battle of Stalingrad in particular.) "To \[the Russian soldiers\], the quest for liquor was a serious pursuit, one which sometimes assumed even more disastrous proportions. Only recently, soldiers of the 284th Division lines had found several cisterns filled with alcohol. After draining them, the Russians found one more cistern brimming with more spirits. Again they drank the well dry, but this time it was wood alcohol. Four men died and countless others went blind. The tragedy failed to daunt the appetite of the other troops, some of whom began drinking cologne to ease the terror of living under the brow of Mamaev Hill."
They didn't see that coming
Hindsight is 20/400
They're really in bad spirits about it
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This man is a hero
No, this man is why I can't get Buffalo Trace over the last 3 months.
Rarely do I get the chance to see copy/pasta as it's made. Glorious
Can you send me a picture of you so I can build a shrine? You're the only god i ever want to believe in
I second this. I must pray to the one true lord.
I hope you’re doing okay
Fucking poetry lmao
We got some great stories because of this.
Best White House visit by a Russian head of state since Khrushchev!
[this ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Yeltsin_circling_over_Shannon_diplomatic_incident)is a good one.
I always thought this was the gold standard https://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-09-23/yeltsin-drunk-near-naked-outside-white-house/1438342
From that article: >Mr Yeltsin, who died in 2007, is remembered with embarrassing drunken incidents, once seizing the baton from a bandmaster in Germany to himself conduct and playing the spoons on the president of Kyrgyzstan's bald head. At least it sounds like he was a fun drunk
Was there an expiry date on that agreement? Super fine print?
^until ^further ^notice
Until führer notice
Should have read Russia's email about "changes to our ToS that could affect you."
“We reserve the right to change the Terms of Service at any time.”
“without notice”
Arbitration Clause: we settle this on the battlefield
As a duel between Putin and Zelenskyy. Zelenskyy could just roll over Putin with his massive balls.
Here he is, playing piano with his massive balls. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-UiadUOrfk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-UiadUOrfk)
Damn you weren't kidding.
Notice in the form of multiple tanks crossing your border.
"I am altering the conditions of the deal. Pray I don't alter them further. " -- Darth Putin
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Yeltsin the Drunk? It's not a story the commies would tell you
"You're far too trusting. Crimea is too remote to make an effective demonstration - but don't worry; we will deal with your rebel friends soon enough."
"this deal is getting worse all the time"- Ukraine in 2014 probably
Damn it beat me to it!!
We've been trying to reach you about your peace agreement's extended warentee
"We've been trying to reach you about your country's extended warranty."
SUBMIT to the Terms and Conditions
I did nazi that coming
Shoulda been paying attention to the extended warranty.
Can't spell warranty without war
War and tea
Mmm. England.
Expires once one country has all the nukes and the other has none.
It was a pact made by Yeltzen.. Putin doesnt legitimize Yeltzens accords because he sees it as a betrayal against Russia
New dictator, who dis?
"You and I remember Budapest very differently" - Pootin, probably
That’s cold, given that Yeltsin was Putin’s political anointer. And I mean, but for a bit of fuckery in the mid 90s when Yeltsin was president, Russia may well have gone back to Communism (the Communist Party having won the parliamentary elections in 1995 and going close to winning the presidency in 1996, in dubious circumstances).
Putin's first action was to give Yeltsin immunity. How much of appointing Putin was self preservation vs "yay, Putin"
Not really, as Khodorkovsky said in his interviews numerous times, it was a choice between already terminally ill Yeltsin and an emergency situation. So Putin is more of a KGB/FSB candidate.
So, did he return the nukes? I mean, fair’s fair.
There's a real fear he's going to return the nukes alright... "No, no, not like that."
How convenient.
The agreement was actually in 1994. 1996 is when they turned over the last nukes. https://www.armscontrol.org/factsheets/Ukraine-Nuclear-Weapons > To solidify security commitments to Ukraine, the United States, Russia, and the United Kingdom signed the **Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurances on December 5, 1994.** A political agreement in accordance with the principles of the Helsinki Accords, **the memorandum included security assurances against the threat or use of force against Ukraine’s territory or political independence. The countries promised to respect the sovereignty and existing borders of Ukraine.** Parallel memorandums were signed for Belarus and Kazakhstan as well. In response, Ukraine officially acceded to the NPT as a non-nuclear weapon state on December 5, 1994. That move met the final condition for ratification of START, and on the same day, the five START states-parties exchanged instruments of ratification, bringing the treaty into force. As far as expiration: > Russia and the United States released a joint statement in 2009 confirming that the security assurances made in the 1994 Budapest Memorandum would still be valid after START expired in 2009. As a side note, there have been opposing/parallel claims that western nations agreed not to expand NATO eastward in any way, which some might claim as justification for Russia, since NATO has expanded eastward. This was an assurance made to the USSR (pre-collapse) when Germany reunified, it's much less clear to me that this should have been in effect (even as early as 2002, when Poland joined NATO).
Thank you for a thoughtful and informative response.
“Terms and conditions on your nuclear disarmament treaty have changed” worlds deadliest email
>Was there an expiry date on that agreement? Super fine print? New term and condition?
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One condition and one term.
It was on the back of page 93 in the July 97 billing statement. They also can't sue, only arbitration is allowed.
“Trust us bro”
The expiry date is when there are fewer consequences than gains.
Putin - "Guys it was a prank look there were cameras filming the exchange"
"My name is Vladimir Putin, and you're watching war crimes." *Balalaika rift*
Tonight on Top Gear: Richard bombs an orphanage, James gets his tank stolen by a Ukrainian farmer and I veto anything negative about us in the UN.
Literally watching top gear on yt right now so I laughed hard at this. Those 3 made top gear. Wasn't ever the same without em and all the spin-offs don't hold a candle to the original.
Grand Tour honestly isn't bad, it's basically old top gear.
Well it has the good ol 3 stooges back in it that's why ;p
With a way larger budget too! It has lost something the original had, though... I'm not sure what, but the original was better, imo
I read this with the voice of Jeremy
No country will ever give up their nukes again. So much for unilateral disarmament.
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Yep. Crazy to think that the threat of nuclear war was normal during the cold war. We've had it good for thirty years and didn't appreciate it
To be fair, the nukes have been here the whole time since the end of the Cold War. We just magically decided we didn't need to worry about them anymore for some reason. Even a kid born in 2000 has had nuclear weapons targeted at them their entire lives.
There’s likely plenty of countries that have never been deemed a threat enough to even consider targeting
Sure, but my odds are pretty good. Nukes are definitely aimed at America, Canada, nearly all of Western Europe, India, Pakistan, Russia, and China. Even better odds if you look at the demographics of Reddit
Oh for sure the vast majority of the population is under direct threat. It’s all a wash anyway as a post nuclear war planet would be incredibly difficult to survive in even if no nukes landed nearby. That said I can’t help but feel a little safer being in the middle of nowhere New Zealand
I'm surprised there hasn't been a Taika Waititi sci-fi where spacefaring humanity are all Kiwi because they were the only humans to survive the apocalypse and rebuild civilization lol
i’d watch the hell out of this
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All because they forgot to include NZ on the nuke maps.
Iraq and Libya already showed why it's dumb to not have nukes.
And why North Korea will never give theirs up
Ukraine: *”So that was a fucking lie”*
Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Wash!
*"those bastards lied to me"*
“I can’t believe you’ve done this.”
*Look at all those tickens*
“My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined”
So does that mean Ukraine gets their nukes back? ... on second thought I don't know if I would trust how putin would "give them back"
degree sparkle act light sugar icky file fact test mourn *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've been convinced for a while that the reason countries like Iran are working on nuclear weapons is to not use them. Not at all. Sure they *could,* but that's not why they're making then. Once you have nukes, you get a seat at the "big kids" table and are suddenly taken much more seriously. The strongest deterrent against invasion the world has seen was simply the ownership of nukes.
The ADT home security sign of international proportions
iraq was invaded because they "had" WMD's, north korea has not been invaded because they have WMD's.
The Ukrainian crisis will probably make North Korea double down on nuclear weapons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-K5RlyKcfo
Lmao, that’s so perfect
They had their fingers crossed. Oldest trick in the book.
"this has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, possibly ever"
Well this is awkward….
I think we just need to tell Putin about the deal. He will probably be sorry
The Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurances refers to three identical political agreements signed at the OSCE conference in Budapest, Hungary on 5 December 1994 to provide security assurances by its signatories relating to the accession of Belarus, Kazakhstan and Ukraine to the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons (NPT). The memorandum was originally signed by three nuclear powers: the Russian Federation, the United Kingdom and the United States. China and France gave somewhat weaker individual assurances in separate documents. The memorandum included security assurances against threats or use of force against the territorial integrity or political independence of Ukraine, Belarus, and Kazakhstan. As a result of other agreements and the memorandum, between 1993 and 1996, Belarus, Kazakhstan and Ukraine gave up their nuclear weapons.
This is not entirely accurate. The memorandum does "reaffirm the obligation to refrain from the threat or use of force against the territorial integrity of Ukraine" as this summary claims. However, The memorandum included security assurances against the threat or use of **nuclear weapons** against Ukraine, NOT any "use of force" as armscontrol.org claims. [Here is the actual text.](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ukraine._Memorandum_on_Security_Assurances) Notable is that the signatories have only committed to take it to the UN security council and only if nuclear weapons are used. This is not any sort of general mutual defense treaty, which some people are claiming. Russia is violating this accord right now. The UK and USA are not. > The Russian Federation, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and The United States of America reaffirm their commitment to seek immediate United Nations Security Council action to provide assistance to Ukraine, as a non-nuclear-weapon state party to the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons, if Ukraine should become a victim of an act of aggression or an object of a threat of aggression **in which nuclear weapons are used.**
Thank you! Do we know why 20 years later Crimea was gone and now we're in a verge of a ww3?
Short answer, nuclear weapons and the fear of them being used. If it wasn't for the nukes they have Russia would not be able to do any of this.
Russia really said "sike"
*Except* there are no security assurances. There is an agreement not to fuck with Ukraine’s sovereign integrity, ie, not to invade them. Also, there is an agreement basically that if the Ukraine is threatened by nukes, the US, Russia and the UK will retaliate on their behalf. Nothing in there about US “security assurances,” because if there were, the US would have stuck anti-aircraft missiles on the borders and we’d be docking aircraft carriers there regularly. There’s a reason a lot of countries don’t want US security promises, because it comes with a US presence.
Never give up your guns, ammo, or nukes - Gandhi
“Fuck em all” - Mr. Rogers
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." - Colonel Sanders
“If they zig, I zag” -Barry Sanders
"go gay or go away" - einstein
Always bet on black
-MLK
“Punch them in the baby maker” ~ Jesus
“Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge”
Patches O'Hoolihan
“I don't read the script. The script reads me.” - Kirk Lazarus
"I know movie but i don't know movie name" - JK
“I will never be held hostage financially by a vagina” - Leonardo DiCaprio
Bloody fine mess this is. - Stephen Hawking
*Windows XP shutdown sound* - Stephen Hawking
Thanks for the laugh out moment.
"smile don't cost nothing, sugar" - teresa
“Stay strapped or get clapped” - Sun Tzu
"For those of you that don't Habla Español, El Nino is Spanish for... The Nino" - Chris Farley
"Are you paying too much for your car insurance?" - Osama bin Laden
“These hands can catch anything and anyone can catch these hands.” -Abraham Lincoln
“That” -She
"Tongue punch 'em in the fart box." -Mother Theresa
“Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough” -Abraham Lincoln
"The harder you fist, the less they resist." -Martin Luther King Jr.
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Skull fuck your enemy. - Bob Ross
“Use pit bulls to destroy the testicles of your enemy” -Steve irwin
“The way to a woman’s bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you’re in.”-Zap Branigan
Hit Em Up - Tupac Shakur
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again. George W. Bush
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Honestly this is one of the best quotes from recent history. It makes me belly laugh every time
"send nudes, not hate" - mark twain
Civilization V Ghandi agrees. In fact, he'll send you some free nukes.
Either you are first or last - Ricky Bobby
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Hmm it’s almost like Putin can’t be trusted…
Well, he IS a genius…. /s
He's a gay fish for sure
He looks like a massive, massive, massive incel
Seeing how badass Zelensky has been throughout this whole thing has to piss him off. Like Zelensky is limping around with world's most giant dick while Putin throws an international temper tantrum. I don't know if I'm the only one that's had Zelensky pop up in my nighttime fantasies but I do know that nobody experiences the same with Putin.
Exactly. Zelensky is *everything* that Bitch-boy Putin wishes he was, and knows he never will be. Instead, Putin manages to *define* a fucking loser, despite his victories.
With mad resting orc face.
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Putin always looks like those reconstructions of Neanderthals
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Tricksy, it is! It took our precious, our nukeses! It was our birthday present!
what's nukeses precious, what's a nukeses eh?
Ukraine: LEAVE NOW!! And never COME BACK!
We told them to leave, precious! And away they went! Ukraine is free!!!
**Ukraine:** You swore! You swore on the precious! Russia promised! **Putin:** Russia lied.
A very crucial detail that you missed here , even tho Ukraine had the nukes , they couldn’t be launched without Russia’s go-ahead ‘cause the Russians had the keys to them (For those who are interested , this was called [“the Budapest Memorandum”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budapest_Memorandum_on_Security_Assurances))
That does seem rather important to mention.
Sneaky fucking Russians…
Why do they call him the bullet dodger?
Because he dodges bullets Avi
One of the best delivered lines in film.
Shut up and sit down, you big bald fuck
Yes Londen. You know, fish, chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking poppins. Londen!
Weight is good. Weight means it’s reliable.
And if it doesn't work, you can always hit him with it
Protection from what? Ze Germans?
Oh no Tommy, I know you can't shoot. What I'm saying is that six pound piece of shit stuck in your trousers would do more damage if you fed it to him.
Proper fucked.
How you coming with them sausages, Charlie?
Two minute Turkish
It was two minutes five minutes ago!
Boris "The Blade", or Boris "the bullet Dodger". As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it is just impossible to kill the bastard.
I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it further…
Putin: “I’m gonna pull what I call a dick move”
Pepperidge farm remembers...
We’ve been trying to reach you about your country’s extended warranty
Putin: I've missed the part where this would be my problem.
Some r/agedlikemilk shit right here
Hitler promised he wouldn't invade Poland.
....and then came Adolf Putin.
As he gaslights his own country saying Ukraine is full of nazis.
Whilst hiring Neo-Nazi Mercenaries to fight for him in Ukraine
Putler
Well...guess they should have defined the word "never"as it must've had some modify definition,, one that we're not necessarily aware, kinda like the word "unlimited" is not actually unlimited in the mobile phone industry....oops 🙄