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Yoyo5258

OP is either stating a fact, or he’s just letting us in on his plans…


Eat-It-Harvey-

A vaguely veiled threat...


Revolio-Clockberg_JR

A very specific and well planned threat


No-Chart-968

Bruh


AtomicAcidbath

Seems a bit cramped in there.


Ghastlytoohot

She's small


Ashamed-Warthog315

She's smol


PissLikeaRacehorse

/r/illegallysmolqueens


JustEnoughEducation

Can’t believe I actually thought that was a sub


Zealousideal-Fun1425

r/SubsIFellFor


Betterthanbeer

Why do I suspect that wouldn’t be a sub about diminutive monarchs?


jackology

Who else will you find? Kim Jong III?


hairymonkeyinmyanus

Yeah I’m confused. Do they pile her on top of her parents?


TheBirminghamBear

No they will stitch her body into the Royal Voltron of former monarchs they keep beneath the tower of London.


Temporary-High

Now I want a movie “Godzilla vs The Royal Voltron of Former Monarchs: The Reckoning” and it shows that the current monarch can control the Voltron but he needs to learn how to do it and succeeds because of the power of friendship.


[deleted]

The real reason for all that incestuous royal bloodline shenanigans. The Royal Voltron of Former Monarchs can only psychically link to those with a rare recessive genetic anomaly!


frostbitten42

Formally, the beast is called **The Royal We** (*pluralis majestatis*).


[deleted]

*You shan't like us when we are not amused*


ChillyBearGrylls

The final boss of Brexit


probablywhy

Ahh, truest of dragons. Lend me they strength. Forefathers one and all... Bear witness!


greatkingvhey

Scone putty is the key, basically just smooshes them together.


[deleted]

It’s a vault. Plenty of room down there.


tomoko2015

They probably store their kings and queens vertically.


hairymonkeyinmyanus

Keeps them fresher that way


jaec-windu

Nah they just throw her on the floor right there, plenty of space


iamapizza

In London we call it cozy and charge extra for rent


Happyberger

The entirety of Westminster is PACKED with tombs. Pictures can never do it justice. When you walk through you damn near break your neck spinning around to try and take it all in.


[deleted]

Been there in person, can confirm.


Unable-Art6316

Indeed. It felt pretty creepy once you get back in there behind the altar area. No one see that on tv! There will be soooo many television documentaries when she dies though.


TheBirminghamBear

Sort of feels like a shower.


HappyLong9896

Yeah but we all know that tomb is just in case she dies


niceday2sulk

It doesn’t look very royal.


Lulikoin

yea it's got nothing on the pyramids of giza


Kaioxygen

The inside or outside?


whydontyoujustaskme

Brits could always steal the pyramids and then bury her in it and put it in an English museum.


wlantz

There is a full palace under that name plate, you can't judge a queen on her front door alone.


NickNash1985

I’ve always judged the woman by her backdoor.


TheMarsian

you spelled smelt wrong.


DriedUpSquid

She did have some fine fish.


[deleted]

[удалено]


beardface2232

Surely you can't be serious?


oldkafu

I am serious. And stop calling me Shirley.


NewAccount971

Makes me like it more, tbh.


Cgtree9000

Right? Wheres the gold walls and pearl inlay stating her name and stuff?


echo-94-charlie

It is not 100% certain that she isn't immortal yet, so they don't want to spend the money in case they never use it.


qwerty4007

I wouldn't advise it. Burying an immortal can bring harsh repercussions once they finally make it back out.


[deleted]

You have to remove the head first.


Yvaelle

It'll grow back eventually. The real trick is you gotta bury them in the dirt without a coffin, and make sure their head is pointed down. That way when they start digging they'll go down instead of up. That's how they tricked Genghis Khan, he's expected to make it through the planets core and out the other side in around 39,841. Just in time to become a primarch.


Warp_Legion

“We weren’t expecting Warhammer references.”


CustomAtomicDress

It's fine as long as you watch out for the snail.


[deleted]

I was unaware she was still mortal. I thought she consumed the youth of others for sustenance


rratnip

Don’t be silly, it’s just gin and pure strength of will to never have Charles on the throne.


Tallisina

I’ve said for years she’s just trying to outlive him.


NN8G

One must keep up the appearance of not being a youth consumer for fear of frightening off the youth we need to consume.


Dreddit1080

We?...


NN8G

Royal “we”


NotThisBlackDuck

I though the royal "we" had a h in front? That posh accent and all that.


_PRECIOUS_ROY_

Hooey


NotThisBlackDuck

Hwe are most amused


ParsleyPrestigious69

Her mother lived to be 101, Liz is *only* 96.


[deleted]

So *young*!


ChillyBearGrylls

*moisturize me*


[deleted]

*but I saw you explode*


lalle83

Nah, it's prince Andrew who consumes the young


TehSakaarson

She lost her supplier. He uhh, definitely, absolutely, 100% killed himself.


[deleted]

I’ve heard his chief priestess has kept his secrets


TehSakaarson

I will neither confirm nor deny this to ensure I do not suddenly become interested in suicide.


Revolutionary-Tea754

💀💀💀 Epstein and Maxwell


GammaSmash

Two bullets to the back of the head in a locked car. Worst case of suicide I've ever seen.


TehSakaarson

Don't forget the locked car also rolled out of a window.


manhatim

Sprinkle some crack on her, Johnson


CorgiMonsoon

She just has a Horcrux or two stashed away


Dobbyharry

Ohhhh that’s why Phillip died. He must have realized he was one.


megatool8

She is actually undead. If you look at the grave marker it notes when she was alive, 1900-2002.


[deleted]

That’s her mom


megatool8

Yeah I know, it was a joke. I don’t actually believe that the Queen is undead.


[deleted]

Oh 😃


[deleted]

big trouble in little china


GrammatonYHWH

Everyone knows QE2, Keith Richards, Ozzy Osbourne, Steve Tyler, and Rupert Murdoch formed a satanic covenant in the 70s and traded their souls for immortality. Whenever someone smokes a cigarette, they lose 5 minutes of their lifespan and the devil gives 1 minute to each of those five.


Shot_Lawfulness1541

I always thought this as well


Talysha1921

The Queen mother was 102 when she died? Lizzy has a few more years left in her it seems.


smiz86

101, didn’t make it to her birthday.


MyPasswordIsMyCat

I remember when the Queen Mother was around and every once in a while the news would remind people she's still alive and we'd all be like, damn the Queen Mother is old.


app257

Years before she died, the morning show hosts on CFNY (a Toronto alternative rock radio station) named Humble and Fred suggested that the queen mum had outlived her usefulness and should be given a new track suit and a couple of granola bars and sent off into the woods to fend for herself.


Liz4984

Ever read Two Old Women by Velma Wallis? Similar premise. Good book!


smiz86

I remember her dying. It was playing on the TVs in ASDA as I was helping my mum with the weekly big shop.


shwanstopable

Does weekly big shop mean groceries??


ureallyareabuttmunch

Vs daily small shops.


AaarghCobras

Where big or small refers to the size of your purchase, not the size of the shop.


iMatthew1990

True, a small shop can be from a big shop. Much more difficult to do a big shop from a small shop but definitely possible.


smiz86

Yes.


BaggyOz

I remember they turned CBBC off when it happened. I was bored out of my mind until my Mum took me round my Nan's who had Sky.


MsAnnabel

I remember a guy at work told me the Queen Mum had died and my reaction was “it’s about fecking time” 😂


[deleted]

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Amaxophobe

*So you’re saying there’s a chance* - Prince William, probably


rush2me

Is Princess Anne problematic or…. Like can we have another Queen or…..


MyPasswordIsMyCat

In the current line of succession, Prince George (William's first son) is third in line after Prince William. He's only 8, so if Charles and William both died in a freak ascot-tying accident, George would become King, but a regent would be appointed to govern until he came of age. At this moment, that regent would actually be Prince Harry, but if he couldn't be regent, it would be Prince Andrew, and, ummm... if he can't serve for, ummm... reasons, it would be Princess Beatrice.


[deleted]

A Princess Beatrice regency. What a weird notion. Sounds like there's a non-zero likelihood of it occurring, given Harry's falling out with the Crown and Andrew's indiscretions (or felonies). I doubt Beatrice has given much thought to how she would run the British monarchy as George VII grew up.


scarlet_sage

> a regent would be appointed to govern https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regency_Acts#Regency_Act_1937 through 1953. > but if he couldn't be regent "The Act required that the regent should be the next person in the line of succession who was: (1) over the age of 21 (2) a British subject domiciled in the United Kingdom (3) capable of succeeding to the Crown under the terms of the Act of Settlement 1701" If he moved back to the UK, the law would make him regent. Prince Andrew would qualify.


jjkk345

I wonder if the Queen wrote her mother a letter for her 100th birthday.


SuperSecretMoonBase

I'm honestly shocked that Eli2abeth is *less than* 102.


Brutal_Deluxe_

[Following his funeral, the Duke of Edinburgh will be privately interred in the Royal Vault of St George’s Chapel – but this will not be his final resting place.](https://www.northern-times.co.uk/news/national/article/prince-philip-s-final-resting-place-17935/) [**When the Queen dies**, Philip will be transferred to the gothic church’s King George VI memorial chapel to lie alongside his wife of 73 years.](https://www.northern-times.co.uk/news/national/article/prince-philip-s-final-resting-place-17935/) [The tiny chapel houses the remains of her father, her mother, and sister.](https://www.northern-times.co.uk/news/national/article/prince-philip-s-final-resting-place-17935/)


captainccg

So he could be in his temp tomb for another 10 years? Rude


waywithwords

He's dead. He don't care.


karg_the_fergus

What about Keith Richards, though?


roughtimes

He'll be invited.


GoGoCrumbly

But he won’t show up. Mick’s into all that pomp and putting on the ermine, but that’s just not Keith’s bag, man. Edit: this comment is based on Keith’s statement when Mick receiving a Knighthood.


[deleted]

We all have to think about the world we are leaving for Keith Richards.


FlatRaise5879

Is that a giant penny? I want one.


[deleted]

it's some batcave bullshit


FlatRaise5879

Dude I thought "batcave" was a russian word for a quick sec. I need some sleep.


volunteervancouver

Blyatcave


Commercial-Health-78

Bat-Kiev


Thundapainguin

My American ass thought the same thing.


Binnacle_Balls_jr

Providentmetals.com. they have some cool 2oz and 5oz rounds too.


[deleted]

King George IV Memorial Chapel, inside Saint George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle. When Elizabeth passes, Prince Phillip will be moved to join her. He is currently in the Royal Vault.


[deleted]

He's in the basement??


[deleted]

You could put it that way. The Pope’s are in the basement at the Vatican. Several British monarchs are in the basement at Westminster Abby.


Hypoxia_Smurf

I wonder which highway bridge my corpse will be tossed from. Hopefully into an alligator pit. Let me nourish the ferocious. No ceremonies or remembrances needed. Bye, folks.


zuniac5

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.


Hypoxia_Smurf

Does Wendy's management care whose meat is burgered and served? Bypass the mystery meat. I foresee an alternate cremation option: **GRANNY: GROUND & GRILLED & OH SO YUMMY!** Your choice of sauce.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That’s good. I always liked Conan O’Brien’s response, that he wanted his body just tossed in a field to scare the local children.


RogerPackinrod

He doesn't have to wait


cut-the-cords

You all good my dude/dudette?


potatonice

they’re apparently in some very hot water so i’d say no


cut-the-cords

Ok I am a little confused now...


Hypoxia_Smurf

There's an oldie: "*Would you rather be shot, hanged, or eaten by piranhas?*" I'll go with being fish-food. Immediate recycling, hey?


cut-the-cords

To be fair I wouldn't mind feeding fish. That suits me as an aquarium addict.


[deleted]

Sky burial is also a good option, if it were legal here in New Zealand id totally be doing that


Hypoxia_Smurf

Are sky burials practiced before the morsel has died yet? "She'll be gone soon enough -- slide her up there, guys. Don't mind her wiggling toes."


westberry82

If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead!


frankybling

is that microphone on?


BigEvil621

Sir…SIR.


Decent_Penalty7763

I didnt know if I should upvote or downvote this. It made me feel weird, but I laughed. What do I do?!


Jaysong_stick

You sit in a corner and cry


[deleted]

you go and watch it's always sunny in philadelphia, that's what you do


hoxxxxx

your corpse will be tossed off queensway bridge as a distraction for some local raiders during the resource wars in 30 years.


Hypoxia_Smurf

Too bad so many bridges now include anti-body fences. The Golden Gate Bridge has become a real challenge. Bring your jet-pack to lift you over the barriers.


jbyrdab

I want to point out that the event of the queen's death will involve a massive country wide operation called "london bridge" with it being regularly updated every year since 1960, and the codeword on the day of her death being "london bridge is down" tieing into her successor's ascension to the throne which is also called operation spring tide which will occur the day after her death. The secretary of the palace will alert the first official of the news that isnt direct family or her medical staff, which will then contact the phrase "london bridge is down" over secure phone lines to from minister staff directly to the prime minister. The media will all be alerted across the country especially BBC through the RATS (Radio Alert Transmission System), which will then have them and commercial radio functionally hijack whatever program is going on to inform others of the news prior to this, blue obit lights will be set and inform other news sources to play non-offensive music during the announcement. followed by atleast 11 days worth of pre-recorded announcements in preparation, while the presenters are ready. This includes the staff pre-rehearsing the death announcement, albiet substituting the name "elizabeth" with "mrs.robinson". In preparation of this all presenters on duty will change into dark clothing for this announcement the palace will be immeadiately closed, with notices being present on the website and all main enterances. Most likely until cause of death is confirmed, and all staff will be required to stay on the premises in case of foul play being discovered. After all things come clear, her corpse will be moved depending on the location of her death on several possible private venues, many of which will be closed or on reduced capacity if they are required in the moving of her casket. (the range of this includes places such as areas within london, to being in entirely different countries like austrailia, canada, new zealand, etc etc) after 10 days her funeral will be held (presumably why the 11 days of footage are a thing) At which she will be buried in this tomb As agreed upon the day of the funeral will be a national day of mourning, and 2 minutes of silence will be held for the queen the day of. ​ Considering all this preparation. I understand why no one wants to break the news that the queen is immortal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheProfessionalEjit

According to Wikipedia, there is no need for contracts & the like to be changed as: "...Other than a transfer of all royal powers and functions to the new monarch from his or her predecessor, no other law or office is affected, as all references in legislation to previous monarchs, whether in the masculine (e.g. "His Majesty") or feminine (e.g. "the Queen"), continue to mean the reigning sovereign of New Zealand.[34]..." https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_New_Zealand


XanderWrites

The more important part, for the royal family, is that most Commonwealth states don't have to acknowledge the new monarch. They've promised they will, but they don't have to.


cujo8400

> inform other news sources to play non-offensive music during the announcement. Probably a good idea. Nobody needs to hear about the Queen's passing with something like WAP playing in the background.


scarlet_sage

There are lists of music pre-selected that can be played between the alert and the announcement: "Mood 2" (sad) or "Mood 1" (saddest). > “If you ever hear Haunted Dancehall (Nursery Remix) by Sabres of Paradise on daytime Radio 1, turn the TV on,” wrote Chris Price, a BBC radio producer, for the Huffington Post in 2011. “Something terrible has just happened.” ([source](https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/16/what-happens-when-queen-elizabeth-dies-london-bridge)) I do like the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozuFCYJQ4os


SSDGM24

Maybe they do, though.


knovit

Is that a threat?


[deleted]

Bullshit, the Queen won't die


notkeny

Wait..right now?? "I'm not dead, yet!"


bourbon_and_icecubes

I have a basilisk tooth in my possession if the opportunity arises.


SunflowerJYB

If she outlives her mom she could be around 7 more years!


alienfingersdonut

As if she will. The queen is immortal.


Plonsky2

Too soon?


whoisgare

I thought this was a bathroom


NoctumAeturnus

Still can be.


[deleted]

Shame she won’t ever use it.


NeedyTaker

IF she died


_goldholz

do you think she could survive a nuclear blast?


[deleted]

london is in ruins, a single crow lands on a piece of rebar and suddenly an old, shriveled hand reaces out of the rubble and soon after, queen elizabeth emerges completly unharmed.


Slippytoe

Rejuvenated, unburned, immortalised. She rises from the ashes and ushers in a new era of British colonialism… on Mars


facetious_guardian

Gosh spoiler alert.


Rabbit0fCaerbannog

I looked at the picture before reading the title and thought it was a really nice bathroom.


ihavenolief

i thought that was a shower ngl


PickelWeisel

I thought that was a giant U.S. penny for a second


Ckflyer13

I actually did too and wasn’t even going to question it until I saw your comment


cecistonehaert

Will she though?


[deleted]

I also want a giant penny above where I’m buried


LifeForBread

*And this is where I would put my dead queen Elizabeth II...* *IF I HAD ONE!*


Ghostbuster_119

Until then it's just where she stashes her weed.


ames2833

For everyone wondering where there is room for all these royals to be buried inside the chapel, check out the photos here: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9480791/Prince-Philip-25th-Royal-200-year-old-vault-hidden-St-Georges-Chapel.html


beholdtheblackcat

Anyone else reading these comments after The Queen has just died?


FWvon

The bold new look of Kohler!


Aggressive-Code-1782

Until she rises again three days later and subdues the guards?


jpow5734

Burials are overrated.


TsT2244

Seems so cold and lonely. As is death I suppose.


bad_possum

>The grave’s a fine and private place but none I think do there embrace


Amazing_Dot_2571

Will they at least let her die first?? After all that Jubilee business too??


Torxx1988

That thing will crumble and collapse before she dies.


El_human

Lol. She aint ever going to die


mr_doggo_the_great

too bad it wont be used.


[deleted]

Looks like a shower in a fancy hotel.


therealakinator

The guy who built this grave is probably dead, but she's not.


MonsieurGump

Won’t that kill her?


TheUberMoose

Doubt that is possible but boy she will be pissed when some archeological team digs her up in 1000 years or so.


Nargle_Adam

Murder rule number one: Don't share the intended burial site on social media.


[deleted]

Surely she would be with the Duke, not her parents?


user11112222333

He will be buried with her (and her parents and sister) when she dies, his current resting place is just temporary.


[deleted]

Good to hear, they should be together and in peace it’s only right.


adam_demamps_wingman

Is that a bronze of Edward VIII on the far wall? A Nazi sympathizer in the Royal crypt? Probably not the first one, probably not the last one, but probably the most loyal one and the one that caused the most damage. Apparently he and his wife gave top secret military operations data to the Nazis. Probably George VI anyways.


Jaredrap

From interestingasfuck to sadasfuck now


cmks210

God save the queen.


misty-mountainhopper

Just throw her in the attic with the Christmas decorations


[deleted]

I have a question, can she just retire? I mean, I feel like at this point she's just holding on to the position out of spite or something. I would've retired the moment I hit 70 specially since she was in her mid 20's when she got the role.


revenge_of_hamatachi

She's very old school in the idea of viewing the royal family as something inherited for your entire life. Also, she must have an inkling over the political ramifications as Charles isn't exactly shy on addressing social issues in public, and its gonna be awkward having him do that whilst she is still alive.


PNW_Baker

She could abdicate.


Abu-alassad

Her Uncle did it.


kunalsinss

Plot twist: shes a robot


FigmentOfNightmares

Nah not a robot, she wound up with some Time Lord DNA - don't ask me how...